Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 1,124.
Hiding money offshore.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 1,124.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
Go to our website at eslpod.com.
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This episode is a dialogue between Sabrina and Luis about hiding your money so the government doesn't find it.
Let's get started.
Wait, don't deposit that money into our regular bank account.
I'll take care of it.
Okay, but why?
I've come up with a way for us to avoid paying so much in taxes each year.
I've opened an offshore account in the Crook Islands.
We can funnel our money into that account and it'll be untraceable.
But that's tax evasion.
The banks in the Crook Islands have ways of covering up the paper trail, so no one will be the wiser.
That doesn't make it legal.
They haven't caught us yet.
You mean you've already started putting money into that account?
I've been depositing money into it for nearly a year.
And when were you going to tell me?
I'm telling you now.
Trust me, these tax havens are very popular with the rich.
We're just taking a page from their book on how to save money.
We're going to get caught.
We should come clean now.
That's why I didn't tell you before.
I knew you'd make a fuss about it.
And you were right.
We need to quietly close the account and bring the money back, then we'll have to pay taxes on it, and maybe even a penalty, more than we would have had to pay in taxes originally.
Right.
And that's called poetic justice.
Sabrina says to Luis, Wait, don't deposit that money into our regular bank account.
I'll take care of it.
To deposit, D-E-P-O-S-I-T
Money into a bank account means to put money into your account, to give the bank money that the bank will keep for you until you need it.
A bank account A-C-C-O-U-N-T is basically an agreement or arrangement that you have with the bank, that where you can give them money and they will hold it for you or at least give it back to you when you want it.
The bank doesn't actually keep all the money people give it.
It, of course, lends the money to other people.
It gives loans to people and then makes money on your money.
Well, in our dialogue, Sabrina doesn't want Luis to deposit a certain amount amount of money into their regular or normal bank account.
Luis is confused.
He says, okay, but why?
Sabrina says I've come up with a way, meaning I have found or invented a way to for us to avoid paying so much in taxes each year.
Taxes, T-A-X-E-S, is the money you pay to the government.
Usually, it's some percentage of your income, how much you make, how much money you earn each year.
California, for example, has some of the highest taxes because not only does the national government make you pay taxes, but most states also make you pay taxes.
So if you live in California, you pay relatively high taxes.
Anyway, enough complaining about California.
Sabrina says, I've opened an offshore account in the Crook Islands.
An offshore O-F-F-S-H-O-R-E account is one that is in another country, not the country you live in.
It is possible to put your money in banks in other countries, so that the government doesn't know how much money you really have.
Well, that's what Sabrina's idea is.
She's actually opened an offshore account in a fictional imaginary place called the Crook Islands.
The word crook, K-R-O-O-K, is used in English to mean a thief, someone who steals something.
So it's a little joke here in our dialogue that Sabrina has put her money in a bank in the Crook Islands.
Sabrina continues, we can funnel our money into that account and it'll be untraceable.
To funnel F-U-N-N-E-L money is to send something to one place or one person, even when it comes from different places.
You could take the money that you make, plus your wife makes, plus your friends make, and you could funnel it into a single account.
You would put it all into one account.
A funnel F-U-N-N-E-L as a noun is something you use to pour liquid into a container so that all the liquid goes into it.
It's like a cone, basically, if you remember your high school geometry.
Sabrina says that putting the money into this offshore account will make it untraceable.
Traceable, T-R-A-C-E-A-B-L-E, means you can figure out where something comes from.
Untraceable would mean that you could not figure out where something came from.
Well, if your money is untraceable, it means the government can't find, it can't figure out what happened to it.
Luis objects.
He's not sure this is a good idea.
He says that's tax evasion.
Tax evasion.
E-V-A-S-I-O-N is illegally trying to avoid paying taxes to the government by hiding your money, for example.
Don't confuse tax evasion with tax avoidance, A-V-O-I-D-A-N-C-E.
Tax avoidance is when you legally try to pay the minimum amount of taxes possible.
Tax evasion is when you illegally try to do the same thing.
Sabrina says the banks in the Crook Islands have ways of covering up the paper trail, so no one will be the wiser.
The phrasal verb to cover up is means to hide something so that it cannot be seen, especially something illegal, to make sure that no one discovers illegal activities.
One of the problems very common in American politics is that politicians will do something wrong, something dumb, but something that is not illegal.
However, because they don't want anyone to know about it, they try to cover it up.
And often that is illegal, especially if the government starts asking questions and you lie to the government.
Well, the lying is illegal, and that is often what is a problem for some American politicians.
Anyway, enough of America's problems.
Back to our dialogue.
Sabrina says that these banks in the Crook Islands have ways of covering up the paper trail T-R-A-I-L.
The term paper trail refers to documents and other written evidence that shows where someone has been and what that person has done.
Nowadays, we don't use paper as much.
I guess you could call it the electronic trail, but we still call it the paper trail.
It means evidence of things that you have done that say, the police can discover and determine what exactly you did.
Sabrina says these banks cover up the paper trail so no one will be the wiser, W-I-S-E-R.
To be wise, W-I-S-E, means to be smart, to be knowledgeable.
No one will be the wiser is a phrase meaning no one will find out what happened.
No one will be able to discover the truth.
Louise says, that doesn't make it legal.
Sabrina says, they, meaning the government, haven't caught us yet.
Louise says, you mean you've already started putting money into that account?
Sabrina responds, I've been depositing money into it for nearly a year.
Luis says, and when were you going to tell me?
So Luis says this plan that Sabrina has is illegal.
But Sabrina says well, they haven't caught us yet, meaning they haven't found out what we have been doing.
Luis is surprised that Sabrina has already started putting money into this illegal account.
And he asks, when were you going to tell me?
Sabrina says, I'm telling you now.
Trust me.
These tax havens are very popular with the rich.
A tax haven.
H-A-V-E-N is a place where you can put your money, a country where you can put your money and you don't have to pay taxes on it or you pay very little in tax.
Sabrina says, we're just taking a page from their book on how to save money.
The expression to take a page from someone's book means to study what other people have done and do the same thing.
To copy what someone else is doing.
Louis says we're going to get caught.
To get caught means to have someone find out about something that you did wrong.
Luis says we should come clean now.
To come clean means to admit what you did wrong, to say that you have done something illegal or wrong, to tell someone else.
Sabrina says that's why I didn't tell you before.
I knew you'd make a fuss about it.
To make a fuss, F-U-S-S, is to complain about something or to become angry about something.
It's to not react calmly, to get all excited about something in a bad way.
Luis says, and you were right.
Meaning, yes, I am making a fuss about this.
I am getting angry and complaining about it.
He says, we need to quietly close the account and bring the money back.
Meaning, take the money out of the bank in the Crook Islands and bring it back to the United States.
Sabrina says however, then we'll have to pay taxes on it, and maybe even a penalty, more than we would have had to pay in taxes originally.
Sabrina is complaining that if they bring this money back to the United States, they may have to pay taxes on it plus what's called a penalty P-E-N-A-L-T-Y.
A penalty is a punishment for breaking a rule or a law.
Sabrina complains this amount of money they will have to pay will be more than what they would have had to pay in taxes originally if they had not tried to hide their money.
Louise says, right, meaning that's correct.
And that's called poetic justice.
The phrase poetic P-O-E-T-I-C justice refers to a negative consequence, a bad result that happens from something you do.
That is an appropriate punishment for your bad actions.
So, in this case...
The couple, Sabrina and Luis, may have to pay more in taxes by bringing the money back than they would have had to pay if they had just paid their taxes legally here in the United States.
Luis calls that poetic justice because they deserve it.
It's a deserved outcome, an appropriate punishment for what they did wrong.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
Wait, don't deposit that money into our regular bank account.
I'll take care of it.
Okay, but why?
I've come up with a way for us to avoid paying so much in taxes each year.
I've opened an offshore account in the Crook Islands.
We can funnel our money into that account, and it'll be untraceable.
But that's tax evasion.
The banks in the Crook Islands have ways of covering up the paper trail, so no one will be the wiser.
That doesn't make it legal.
They haven't caught us yet.
You mean you've already started putting money into that account?
I've been depositing money into it for nearly a year.
And when were you going to tell me?
I'm telling you now.
Trust me, these tax havens are very popular with the rich.
We're just taking a page from their book on how to save money.
We're going to get caught.
We should come clean now.
That's why I didn't tell you before.
I knew you'd make a fuss about it.
And you were right.
We need to quietly close the account and bring the money back.
Then we'll have to pay taxes on it, and maybe even a penalty, more than we would have had to pay in taxes originally.
Right.
And that's called poetic justice.
Many thanks to our wonderful script writer, Dr. Lucy Say, for her wonderful scripts.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2015 by the Center for Educational Development.
