Welcome to English as a Second Language.
Podcast number 1086 Giving Bribes to Children for Good Behavior.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 1,086.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
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This episode is a dialogue between Camille and Aaron about giving things to your children so that they will behave, so that they will not.
Be like my neighbor's children, who are always yelling and screaming.
It's crazy.
Anyway, let's get started.
No, you can't have a new bike if you get an A on the test.
You should study because you want to do well in school.
We'll talk about it when I get home tonight.
What's the matter?
My kids won't do anything without an incentive.
I know it's my own fault for offering rewards for good behavior.
But now, all they want to know is what they'll get to do what I ask.
Rewards are okay if you use them sparingly, aren't they?
That's the problem.
I feel like I have to bribe them to do the simplest things.
I get home from work and I'm tired and frazzled.
I don't want another power struggle so I rely on bribes.
It's backfired.
How do you mean?
Now my kids won't do anything without knowing what's in it for them.
And they keep upping the ante.
Soon I'll have to start forking over cash to get them to behave.
I don't know what to say.
When I was growing up, My mother put the fear of God into us.
We wouldn't dare misbehave for fear of making her angry.
We never got rewards for good behavior.
It was just expected of us.
What's your mother's number?
Is she available to babysit?
I don't know.
I don't think she could inspire that kind of obedience from other people's children.
I'm desperate.
At the very least, she can give me a few parenting lessons.
Our dialogue begins with Camille saying, No, you can't have a new bike if you get an A on the test.
Camille is talking to her son or daughter, we guess.
The child has asked his mother if he could get a new bike, a new bicycle, if he gets an A on his test.
And A is the highest score that you can get on a test or an examination or a school assignment.
Camille says to her child, you should study because you want to do well in school.
In other words, you shouldn't study just to get a reward, a prize.
You should study because you want to be successful in school.
Camille says.
Next we hear from Aaron, who appears to be with Camille, another adult who has been listening to Camille talk to her child.
Aaron says, what's the matter?
Meaning, what's wrong?
What's the problem?
Camille says, my kids, my children, won't do anything without an incentive.
An incentive is I-N-C-E-N-T-I-V-E is something that motivates you to do something, something that makes you want to do something else.
For some people, an incentive might be money.
They might work harder in order to get more money.
The money is an incentive.
Camille says...
I know it's my fault for offering rewards for good behavior, but now all they want to know is what they'll get to do what I ask.
Camille is saying that it's her own fault, meaning the blame is on her.
She is responsible for this situation.
The situation is that her children won't do anything without a reward.
A reward is something you give to someone.
Sometimes to thank him or her for doing something for you.
Sometimes because the person has done something that you think is good and you want to encourage them to do it even more.
Camille has been giving her children rewards for good behavior.
Good behavior is when someone acts nice, is polite, does what he or she is told.
It's a term we often use in describing the way children act.
Aaron says, Aren't they?
To use something sparingly, S-P-A-R-I-N-G-L-Y, means to use it not very often.
If you use say, salt sparingly on your food, you're only going to put a little bit of salt, not very much, on your food.
Camille says that's the problem.
To bribe, B-R-I-B-E, means to give someone money to do something that he or she should do anyway.
So, for example, if you need to get something from the government, Some government officials, some people who work for the government, might ask you for some extra money to do what they should do anyway.
That would be an example of having to bribe someone to do something.
Camille feels like she has to bribe her children to do the simplest things.
She says, I get home from work and I'm tired and frazzled.
To be frazzled F-R-A-Z-Z-L-E-D means to be very tired, to be worn out, to not be able to think clearly about something.
Camille says, I don't want another power struggle, so I rely on bribes.
A struggle, S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E, is a conflict, a fight.
A power struggle is when you have two people who are trying to control a situation and Two people who are trying to show that they have the power or the authority to control a certain situation.
Sometimes parents and children have a power struggle.
The child wants to get what he wants, the parent wants to get what he or she wants, and that results in problems.
Camille relies on bribes.
She depends on bribes to get her children to do what she wants.
However, she says it's backfired.
B-A-C-K-F-I-R-E-D.
To backfire means to have the opposite effect of to what you wanted or planned to do, the opposite of what you think is supposed to happen.
So, for example, you may want your child to go to bed at eight o'clock at night, so you tell the child you go to bed right now, but instead the child starts crying and crying and complaining and eventually you let the child stay up for another hour.
Your plan backfired.
Instead of getting the child to go to bed at 8 o'clock, the child stayed up for another hour.
By the way, my mother tells me that I was never like this as a child.
I was, I think her words were, a perfect child, an angel, she once told me.
Well, I think that's what she said.
Anyway, Aaron says, how do you mean?
How do you mean is a question we use when we don't understand exactly what the person is saying, when we want the person to give us more information or more details.
Camille says, now my kids won't do anything without knowing what's in it for them.
The expression what's in it for them or for me means the advantage or the benefit that someone will receive because they do something.
Someone may say to you, I want you to go to the store and buy me a watch.
And you may be wondering, well, why would I do that?
So you might say to the person, well, what's in it for me?
In other words, what benefit do I get?
That's what Camille's children tell her.
Camille says, and they, her children, keep upping the ante.
To up the ante, A-N-T-E, is a betting expression.
It's the amount of money that you bet, say in poker or in other games, before the game begins or at the beginning of the game.
To up the ante means to increase it.
Here it means to increase the risks or increase the rewards for some actions.
Camille says, soon I'll have to start forking over cash to get them to behave.
To fork F-O-R-K over some amount of money means to give someone a large amount of money, even if you don't want to.
Camille is saying that she has to give her children money or she fears she will have to give her children money.
Aaron says I don't know what to say.
When I was growing up, my mother put the fear of God into us.
This expression, to put the fear F-E-A-R of God into someone or in someone, means to frighten someone, to make someone scared so that the person will do what you want him or her to do.
That was certainly true with my father.
Aaron says, we wouldn't dare misbehave for fear of making her angry.
Dare D-A-R-E means to do something that is very difficult or challenging, that is not socially acceptable, we might say.
If you say you wouldn't dare do something, you mean that you wouldn't do it under any circumstances.
In this case, Aaron is talking about not daring to misbehave, to act badly, for fear of making his mother angry.
The expression for fear of means because one is afraid of.
Aaron says we never got rewards for good behavior.
It was just expected of us.
Camille then asks Aaron, what's your mother's number, meaning her telephone number?
Is she available to babysit?
To babysit, B-A-B-Y-S-I-T, means to take care of someone else's child, usually for money.
Aaron says, I don't know.
I don't think she could inspire that kind of obedience from other people's children.
Aaron is saying that his mother probably can't help Camille because she probably could not inspire that kind of obedience.
Obedience to inspire i-n-s-p-i-r-e.
Means to create a certain feeling, want or desire in another person.
Aaron is saying he doesn't think his mother would be able to make camille's children obedient.
To Obedient comes from the word obedience O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E which means an agreement to do what someone tells you to do, to follow someone else's orders.
Camille says, I'm desperate, D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E.
To be desperate means to want something very badly, thinking that you don't have any other choices, any other options.
Camille says, at the very least, she can give me a few parenting lessons.
Camille is asking to speak with Aaron's mother so that at the very least meaning at minimum Aaron's mother can give her some parenting lessons.
Parenting.
P-A-R-E-N-T-I-N-G refers to the act of bringing up or raising children.
How you treat your children, what sort of things you say and do with your children.
That is part of parenting.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
No, you can't have a new bike if you get an A on the test.
You should study because you want to do well in school.
We'll talk about it when I get home tonight.
Kids.
What's the matter?
My kids won't do anything without an incentive.
I know it's my own fault for offering rewards for good behavior, but now all they want to know is what they'll get to do.
What I ask.
Rewards are okay if you use them sparingly, aren't they?
That's the problem.
I feel like i have to bribe them to do the simplest things.
I get home from work and i'm tired and frazzled.
I don't want another power struggle, so i rely on bribes.
It's backfired.
How do you mean Now?
My kids won't do anything without knowing what's in it for them.
And they keep upping the ante.
Soon I'll have to start forking over cash to get them to behave.
I don't know what to say.
When I was growing up, my mother put the fear of God into us.
We wouldn't dare misbehave for fear of making her angry.
We never got rewards for good behavior.
It was just expected of us.
What's your mother's number?
Is she available to babysit?
Uh, I don't know.
I don't think she could inspire that kind of obedience from other people's children.
I'm desperate.
At the very least, she can give me a few parenting lessons.
Your incentive for listening to the wonderful scripts by Dr Lucy Say is an improvement in your English.
At least we hope so.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2015 by the Center for Educational Development.
