Don't be weird.
Don't be weird.
Don't be weird.
Hello.
Hey, you found my drone.
Yeah, yeah, yes.
It took a while to track you down, but to see the look on your face, it was worth it.
Aw, sweet.
Rajesh.
Cynthia.
Pleasure to meet you.
Likewise.
I feel like I should give you a reward or something.
Oh, no, you don't have to do that.
No, I insist.
How about your phone number?
Thanks, so... I'll call you, Cynthia.
Great, Rajesh.
And thanks again.
Sure.
Just checking.
I have a good feeling about this girl.
Like, we really hit it off.
Why do you care?
Because we have to give it back to the beautiful mystery girl.
Aw.
Abby, did you see how hot she was?
I want to get all up on that and start making babies.
I know exactly what underwear I'm going to wear on our first date.
None!
What's up?
Emily ran back to the hospital, so I'm just hanging out at her place.
What are you doing? playing video games while Bernie does the taxes.
What are you, a little kid?
Is she gonna cut your dinner into little pieces too?
She doesn't have to.
I filled up on jelly beans.
So, uh, what game are you... Oh.
Crap.
What's wrong?
I can't get Emily's nightstand to close.
So?
She's gonna know.
I was looking in it.
Why were you looking in it?
Well, there's a question I might have a good answer to before she gets back.
Okay, calm down.
There's probably something jammed behind it.
Just pull it out and see what's there.
Hang on.
Oh, no, no!
God, no!
You know what?
You sound busy.
I'm gonna let you go.
Dude, the whole front came off.
Now she's gonna know I was snooping.
Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one.
Aw, I'm gonna miss her.
As soon as she gets here.
So she knows I'm cool with it.
I'm going to make a joke about her being deaf.
I was thinking, hey, did you hear the one about... Oh, no, I bet you didn't.
Maybe we should revisit your lonely fat guy plan.
She says she's sorry she's late.
Tell her it doesn't matter.
Tell her her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies in the lake of the Palace of the Celestial Maidens.
Really?
That's the first thing you want to say?
I worked on it all night.
Use it.
Look, I don't know the sign for opalescent.
Spell it.
I don't know how to spell it.
But you're blowing this for me. he likes your eyes.
You're making me sound like a caveman.
She says thank you, you have nice eyes too.
Really?
Ask her how many children she wants and whatever number she says, say me too.
I met Leonard and then everybody else and they've all been so wonderful to me.
That's really nice to hear.
Maybe next week we could all get together.
Lucy, you don't have to answer that.
Don't put her on the spot.
She hates that.
Am I right?
Tell her what you hate being put on the spot.
Go ahead.
Tell her.
Ignore him.
He's a little nervous because he doesn't think I understand the severity of your social anxiety.
Are you crazy?
You can't talk about social anxiety to someone who has social anxiety.
It makes them socially anxious.
Excuse me, but I'm a neurobiologist.
I think I'm a little more qualified than you to understand what's not working in your girlfriend's brain.
Don't call her my girlfriend.
We haven't discussed whether I'm her girlfriend or boyfriend yet.
Now that it's out there... Are you my girlfriend?
By the way, if you say no, I'll never be happy again.
Not to put you on the spot.
I think I have to go to the bathroom.
You might as well go ahead and eat.
She's not coming back anytime soon.
First, at all times, I'm to be treated as a colleague and an equal.
Second, my contributions shall be noted in all published materials.
And third, you are never allowed to lecture me on Hinduism or my Indian culture.
I'm impressed, Raj.
Those are very cogent and reasonable conditions.
Thank you.
I reject them all.
Then you leave me no choice.
I accept the job.
I'm sorry.
I believe you've misunderstood.
I'm not giving you the job.
I'm simply affording you the opportunity to apply for it.
Have a seat.
We'll get started with the interview.
What?
You're kidding.
Please.
All right.
So... That's what you wear to an interview?
Come on, dude, we've been friends for years.
Oh, pulling strings, are we?
Sheldon, for God's sakes, don't make me beg.
Bazinga.
You've fallen victim to another one of my classic practical jokes.
I'm your boss now.
You may want to laugh at that.
Let's see if this drug works.
Forgive me for staring, but you're very beautiful.
Thank you.
That's a great accent.
Where are you from?
India.
Oh, cool.
I've always wanted to go there.
It's a beautiful country.
You'd love it.
May I join you?
Uh, okay.
Sure, why not?
My name is Dr. Rajesh Kootrapalli, and this is my friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Hi.
Oh, there's no need to interact with me.
I'm just here to observe.
What's he observing?
We're scientists.
We observe everything.
Here, go buy yourself a scone.
All right.
I'd like to buy a scone.
Oh, I'm sorry we're out.
We have muffins.
They sound delicious, but this money is earmarked for scones.
What are you doing?
Oh, just getting comfortable.
So how long have you lived in Los Angeles?
They were out of scones.
Sheldon, I'm talking to someone.
You're being rude.
I bet you're an actress.
If not, you should be.
You have a very expressive face.
Oh, my God.
Wait.
Where are you going?
We were doing so well.
She never even got to see my penis.
Oh, someone's been shopping at Gucci.
Yeah, I saw something for Hallie and I couldn't resist.
That's so sweet of you.
Yeah, it's a crushed velvet baby cape.
Oh, no, now we have two.
That must have been expensive.
Yeah, it was, but it's my father's money and I'm mad at him.
What's going on with your dad?
And if you really want to hurt him, I look great in Chanel.
It turns out he doesn't care if I'm married or if I'm single.
He's basically given up on me.
Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
It is.
He stopped trying to find Indian girls for me to marry.
All you did was complain when he did that.
Right, Leonard, he's hurting.
Let him feel how he feels.
Well, thank you, Penny.
Yeah, shoes, I'm a seven and a half.
Boots, I'm an eight.
Hello, Mommy.
Hello, Rajesh.
What a nice surprise.
Well, I've been thinking about you.
How are you doing?
Are you happy, Mommy?
Such a sweet boy for asking.
Can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father.
Well, I like to think I take mostly after you.
Anyway, speaking of Daddy, I had a very strange conversation with him.
He said he couldn't afford to send me money anymore because of his active social life.
What does that mean, active social life?
Let's not talk about him or whatever shenanigans he may or may not be up to.
Let's talk about you.
Rajesh, is your father seeing someone?
All I know, Mummy, is that he's a single, wealthy doctor.
And now, for some reason, there's no money for your little boy.
Well, however much money your father was giving you, I'll give you more.
Thank you, Mummy.
I love you.
Helicopters for everybody!
Hello?
I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.
Howard Wolowitz?
I have the right address, don't I?
Address?
Is he here?
Uh, no.
Do you know where I can find him?
May I ask what this is about?
No, you may not.
Very well.
Have him call me.
OK.
Raj, who's at the door?
That's not him.
I am unlovable.
That's just the booze talking.
No, it's not.
I haven't had a drink since last night.
You're talking to me.
I am.
And I'm crying for a whole different reason.
So I guess what I'm saying is I get where Lucy's coming from.
That's great.
Do you want some wine?
No, water's fine.
Anyhow, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I totally see why Lucy did what she did.
I pushed too hard, but you know what?
If I back off, maybe give her enough space, maybe there's still a future for us.
The funny thing about life is that you know sometimes something you think is going to be good.
Does he ever shut up?
It turns good again, and that means it's better than if it had never been bad for a while.
And now, yeah, now things aren't good.
They are, in fact, very, very bad.
But at least my heart is starting to heal.
Slowly but surely.
How I cried.
It was like a little...
