Sometimes life can seem hard and tough to navigate, but what may seem like the smallest tasks such as getting out of bed or even brushing your teeth should be celebrated as a win.
And State Farm is here to help you celebrate all your wins.
The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you.
Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan.
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state.
Coverage options are selected by the customer.
Availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.
The holiday season is back, which means it's a time for giving.
Subaru and its retailers believe in giving back to those who need it most.
For the past 17 years, Subaru has made the act of buying a Subaru during the holiday season an act of love.
When you purchase or lease a new Subaru during the Subaru Share the Love event, Subaru and its retailers donate a minimum of $300 to charity.
By the end of this year's event, Subaru and its retailers will have donated nearly $320 million to national and hometown charities.
To learn more, go to Subaru .com -share.
Subaru, more than a car company.
This is Radhi Devlukia from A Really Good Cry.
When you take a shower, where does your shower take you?
If you're like me, your shower is your escape from everything.
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No one's really judging you for that long because they're judging themselves more.
No one's really criticizing you that much because they're criticizing themselves more.
Give them and yourself some grace and compassion.
Leave that self -consciousness that blocks you behind.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
I'm your host Jay Shetty.
And I can't believe it's the end of another year.
Doesn't it feel like every year just gets faster and faster and faster and time truly does travel in a way that we can't comprehend.
And I think when it comes around to the new year, a lot of us are thinking about new year's resolutions, we're thinking about new habits, and those are all great.
But one of the things I've realized over the years is that in order to make space for new habits, new ideas, new routines, new skills, new abilities, we have to leave things behind, we have to make space by letting go.
We're not always going to be able to find new patterns, new routines, new habits if we still have old ideas, old mindsets, and old thought processes.
One of my favorite stories told by the Buddha is about a person who is on a journey.
And on their journey, they come across their first obstacle.
Just like you and me, they have a challenge in their way.
Their challenge happens to be a fast -flowing river, and this person knows that if they dip their toe in, they'll be swept away with the current.
So they decide to craft a raft.
They find bamboo, they find some wood, they find some rope, they tie it together, they lay it down, they even make themselves an ore, and then they paddle with all their might and all their energy just to get to the other side.
And finally, after lots of paddling, lots of pushing, they make it to the other side.
And they think to themselves, this raft saved my life.
I always want this raft to be with me.
I can't leave it behind.
So they strap the raft to their back and continue to walk.
Now, just like all of us have more than one challenge in our life, this person, too, comes to their next challenge.
And their next challenge isn't a fast -flowing river.
It's a tall, wooded forest with trees dotted at every other step.
As they're trying to maneuver and move through the forest, the raft that's strapped to their back is getting stuck.
It's getting chipped.
They're trying to navigate and they're trying to shift and move, but the raft keeps getting damaged and they keep falling back.
The Buddha says that this person has an important choice to make.
They either hold onto the raft and struggle to get through, or they put down the raft and walk through freely.
The Buddha says that we also have the same dilemma and choice in life.
We can either hold on to old mindsets that helped us in the past, old ideas that served us in the past, old habits that may have made sense in the past, and we can struggle to move forward, or we can recognize that we can always rebuild that raft, put it down, and walk through freely, developing new
skills, new mindsets, new ideas.
The Buddha said that on this occasion, this person put down their raft and walk through freely.
This is what today's episode is about.
What am I letting go and leaving behind of in 2024?
If I truly want 2025 to be a new year, what old parts of me do I have to leave behind?
If I truly want to build a new year's resolution or habit, which old ones do I want to leave behind?
And if I truly want to create a new life, which old mindsets am I willing to leave behind?
And so I wanted to talk about this in the hope that you'll also reflect on what something that you realize no longer serves you, what something that isn't helping you to move forward, push forward.
What is it that is actually holding you back?
As the famous Zen saying goes, what's holding us back is what we're holding onto.
What is your raft? And how can you leave it behind?
Number 10, as to what I'm leaving behind in 2024, is avoiding making mistakes.
This is a world and a culture that favors people who take risks.
Those risks can be personal.
For example, deciding, as my wife and I did around eight years ago, to upend our lives and move to a new country, a new city.
They can be professional, like deciding to launch a small business or write the screenplay you've always dreamed about writing or experimenting with a new hobby, whether it's learning how to play the guitar or learn Italian, or become a birdwatcher.
But often what gets in the way of our taking those risks is our fear of making mistakes.
More specifically, our fear of future regret.
We tell ourselves that if we make the wrong decision, it will be with us for the rest of our lives and we'll lose all respect for ourselves and so will everyone else.
I'm here to tell you that's just not true.
If you look at any life or any career or anyone who has ever taken a positive risk that paid off, you will find that the pavement they walk to get to the place is literally littered with mistakes.
Mistakes are a part of life.
I don't know about you, but I've never been 37 years old before, so of course I'm going to make mistakes, just as I did when I was 27 and 17.
Let's also remember that some of the greatest inventions in history, most of them in fact, came as the direct result of mistakes and accidents.
Velcro, potato chips, pacemakers, the microwave oven.
In 2025, more than ever, I want to let go of the idea that mistakes are bad things and instead lean into them.
As Alexander Fleming, the doctor who discovered penicillin by mistake, said about his discovery, one sometimes finds what one is not looking for.
What I've found is that anyone who moved fast, anyone who grew fast, made mistakes.
And if we didn't make mistakes, it means we're moving too slow.
And chances are, we weren't happy with that pace of growth.
You will make mistakes.
You can't avoid mistakes.
The biggest mistake is to try to never make a mistake.
The biggest mistake is to be so scared of other people's judgment that you don't try something new.
The biggest mistake is to let go of your dreams because of how you think other people will think about you.
You will make mistakes.
Start that podcast anyway.
You will make mistakes.
Write that book anyway.
You will make mistakes.
Start making content anyway.
You will make mistakes.
Move cities anyway.
You will make mistakes.
Do it anyway. Because if you try to avoid making mistakes, nothing will change and nothing will happen.
Number nine. I want to leave self -consciousness behind and take forward consciousness and awareness.
We live in a world of our own construction, a kingdom that lives inside our own heads, so to speak.
We don't see the world as it is, someone once said.
We see it as we are.
Realize that everyone around you is wearing a lens that determines and influences how they see the world.
Yes, we can all agree on certain things, a concept known as consensual reality, but most of the time the lenses of others will in no way resemble yours.
I say this because when we go to the supermarket or go shopping for a new outfit or go on a bike ride, our very human tendency is to believe we are the center of the world and the center of attention and that all eyes are on us, which of course makes sense since we are the center of our own attention.
Well guess what? No one's watching or judging you with as much focus or in as much detail as you're observing yourself.
Another example of consensual reality is that despite the glasses each of us is born wearing, other people are a lot like us in the sense they're focused mostly on themselves and wondering what you think of them.
Which is why I'll leave any traces of self -consciousness behind me in 2024.
The best part? No one's going to notice, but me.
See what I mean by this is you are fearful because you're scared of what people will think.
You're not chasing your dreams because you're scared of what people will think.
You're not pursuing your passion because you're scared of what people will think.
You're not listening to your inner voice because you're concerned about everyone else's noise.
And when you think about that, you realize that that person thought about you for two minutes, maybe once a year, maybe two minutes once a month, maybe two minutes once a week, maybe two minutes once a day, but most of their time was spent thinking about themselves.
No one's really thinking about you because they're thinking about themselves more.
No one's really judging you for that long because they're judging themselves more.
No one's really criticizing you that much because they're criticizing themselves more.
Give them and yourself some grace and compassion.
Leave that self -consciousness that blocks you behind because it's not serving anyone.
The number eight goes to the belief that busy is good.
Have you ever called up a friend or a colleague and asked them how they're doing or how their day is going?
Nine times out of ten, they'll tell you that they're busy, that they have virtually no time to themselves, that they're juggling a bunch of different projects and have 125 unread emails in their inbox.
If you were expecting to hear the word, I'm fine.
Jay, thanks for asking.
What about you? Odds are you won't or maybe a quick text message.
Instead, you will most likely hear the word busy.
Busy in today's culture has become a badge of honor, a flag of sorts.
It communicates to the world that we're popular in demand and more indirectly, probably extremely good at what we do for a living.
Now, it can also make us feel like that's how we feel value.
Hey, I'm busy. I've got lots on and that's how we define our own value.
It says that we're plugged in, connected, and on the fast track in our careers and professions, or that we've just got an overwhelming amount of stuff to do.
That we want some attention.
We want to be seen.
We want to be heard, and there's just too much going on.
When asked how you are, do you say busy?
I fear that a lot of the time without thinking about it, I do.
And it's a response and a concept.
I'm eager to leave behind in 2024 for many reasons.
First, busy is in everything.
In fact, busy is oftentimes misused.
Busy can be a defense, a form of sublimination, a way of ignoring other things you should be thinking about like your happiness or your mood state or your mental or physical health.
Finally, what does it say about us as a culture that when someone asks us sincerely how we're doing a personal question, we reply in a professional capacity that we're busy.
And what about you?
Are you busy too? In 2025, if someone calls to ask how I'm doing, I plan on giving them a straight honest answer in the spirit of how the question was asked.
One that has nothing to do with what's on my desk or in my calendar.
Try it for yourself.
You might be surprised by the words that come out of your mouth.
I think one of the biggest things I've seen here is that it's about how we believe we're valuable.
So I would encourage you to all think about that.
Do you feel you're valuable?
Do you feel your day is effective and your day is a success because you're busy?
Or do you actually end the day and realize that a busy day was not a beautiful day or busy day, maybe didn't even lead to the achievements and the effectiveness you wanted to have?
And so really really take a moment to think about it, really really take a moment to figure out what do you want the answer to that question to be?
It may be like I've got a lot on, but do you have a lot on because you think having a lot on is the right way to think about life.
Now, we all have a lot to do.
We all have a lot going on.
But actually, are you just very organized?
Are you prioritized?
Are you being effective?
Are you being productive?
What's the language that you want to use that creates a healthy relationship with yourself and the idea of being busy?
Now number seven, turning down the noise.
When you think about it, noise surrounds us.
We wake up in the morning to traffic sounds, maybe a leaf blower or a lone mower coming from the neighbor's house.
We hear the drip of the coffee maker, a dog barking, the sounds of children.
Later, meeting a friend for brunch in a local food spot, we're surrounded by the clink of silverware, the clash of plates and bowls being set down or whisked away, the murmur and squall of other people talking.
Music plays overhead constantly.
It sometimes seems that wherever we go, a clothing store, a gas station, a coffee shop, a restaurant, a gym, a song is playing as if the riskiest thing in the world is for any of us to be alone with our own thoughts.
But when I talk about noise, I'm not just talking about what comes in through our ears.
I'm also talking about what is consumed by our eyes and our attention and how the culture we inhabit seems intent on fragmenting the information we absorb, dividing it by two then four, then 10, then 100.
It's the opposite of depth, the opposite of learning and remembering.
Instead, this kind of noise focuses on the surfaces of things.
We scan headlines, we glance at our favorite websites, we scroll through photos and advertisements, we text instead of a call and call instead of a meeting.
What is noise, if not a soundtrack to our lives, that interferes with what we should really be doing, which is to say being attentive to ourselves and those around us.
One thing I want to leave behind in 2024 is the role I've allowed noise to play in my life.
Noise refers to everything that is distracting, alluring and diverting.
The blinking silver bells of technology and the pressure it puts on me not to walk but to skip, to skim and to speed read a process deliberately designed to leave me and all of us wanting more and always playing catch up.
Eliminating noise is one of the things I plan on leaving behind in 2024.
Sometimes life can seem challenging and overcoming problems can seem impossible.
But when you focus on your problems, it can keep you from seeing the good in your life.
One thing that helps me when I need a change in perspective is acknowledging the small wins in life.
I encourage my team to pay attention to small wins because it helps them see positive outcomes and the steps that they're achieving on the road to a bigger goal.
Use the power of small wins to shift your outlook and you will start to see positive changes.
State Farm is also there to help you find personal wins and celebrate the small things in life.
The State Farm personal price plan helps you create an affordable price just for you.
Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan.
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state.
Coverage options are selected by the customer.
Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.
This episode of the Happiness Lab on the Joy of Giving is brought to you by the 2024 Subaru Share the Love event.
Getting out in nature, whether on a tough hike or a gentle stroll, is great for our well -being.
Fortunately, we're blessed with some awesome spaces.
Our national parks.
Nature is this incredible powerful source for happiness.
It is that power that makes our park so special.
This is Dawn Rodney, chief external affairs officer of the National Park Foundation.
Most people think of the Yellowstone's, the Yosemite's, these beautiful, grand, wonderful parks.
But people have a national park within a hundred miles of them and most people don't even realize that.
But it takes a lot of work to keep more than 430 spaces open for us all to explore and enjoy.
So in partnership with the National Park Foundation, Subaru has long been supporting this vital effort.
Most people don't realize national parks need private philanthropy to really thrive.
Whether it is a dollar or a hundred dollars or a hundred thousand dollars or a million dollars, every dime goes to helping protect our parks for future generations.
For 17 years, Subaru has made buying a car during the holiday season an act of love with the Subaru Share the Love event.
From now until January 2nd, when you get a new Subaru, Subaru and its retailers will donate a minimum of three hundred dollars to charity, including the National Park Foundation.
When Subaru customers support the National Park Foundation as part of the Share the Love event, they are helping to ensure that national parks are not just for everyone, but they're here forever.
The 2024 Subaru Share the Love event runs through January 2nd.
To learn more, go to Subaru .com slash share Subaru more than a car company.
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Number six, before I say this, I want to just put in a disclaimer because I think people may see it as me being defeatist, but it's not that it's me being a realist.
I would call it the concept, not the idea or the fight for it, but the concept of how I see justice.
So I still want to fight for justice, but the concept of it is different.
Many of us want to believe that the world makes sense, that justice is a silent and animating presence in our lives.
The idea that there may not be justice in the world makes most of us incredibly anxious.
And when I say justice, I'm not talking about the judiciary or the local police and fire services.
I mean the idea, no doubt borrowed from movies and TV shows, that people who work hard are certain to get ahead.
That if you keep plugging away at something, you're guaranteed to see success.
If you do everything in your power to salvage a relationship, that relationship will probably succeed.
The thing is, as we know, life doesn't always work out this way.
Causes and effects are far more random than we're comfortable admitting.
Sometimes we have to face the fact that people we don't respect for mysterious and inexplicable reasons manage to triumph while other good people worthy of respect fall short.
That justice sometimes operates as we believe it should, but just as often doesn't.
When we illusion the world, the likelier we are to find it disillusioning, when the equations we hold in our head don't work out as we'd expected them to.
What I'm leaving behind in 2024 is the idea of justice as an organizing principle of the universe.
Sometimes things work out the way we expect and want them to, other times they don't.
And the reasons why are mysterious.
And perhaps that is a kind of justice.
Actually, the universe does have justice, just not in the way we think about the math.
So what does that mean?
I would encourage us to walk away from waiting for justice and focusing on patterns.
How can we study and create and build passions that will make that difference in our lives?
That's what I'd consider.
That's what I'd think about.
Getting serious about light and dark is number five.
Getting a good night's sleep matters.
It's essential, in fact, to our physical and mental health, helps us maintain a healthy immune system, keeps our stress levels in check, and improves our thinking and processing.
If we don't get enough of it, it can lead to fatigue, anger, poor focus, lowered productivity.
Like there's so many things connected to the quality of our sleep, it even contributes to health conditions like diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular disease.
But growing research and evidence shows that sleep is even more crucial than any of us imagined.
Today, science supports the idea that sleep is the absolute foundation of our mental and physical health, that it is or should be the primary determinant of the success of every one of our human endeavors.
This means it's important to differentiate, really differentiate between lightness and darkness.
First, let's talk about light.
It is two separate components.
People who try to get light in their eyes first thing in the morning, whether they're sitting outside or next to a strong SADS lamp, example one with at least 10 ,000 lux, meaning not a bedside lamp or the light that comes from screens, have dramatically better fitter mental health than those who don't
make getting morning light a priority.
20 minutes is all anyone needs, with sunlight being the best source.
Studies show that getting light first thing in the morning also has a positive effect on people who suffer from anxiety and depression.
Access strong light early in the day, and you will feel stronger and more invigorated thereby setting the stage for a better night's sleep.
A good night's sleep starts in the morning.
Cut to nighttime where the presence of light plays havoc with a good night's sleep.
Studies show that if we keep our bedroom environment as dark as possible, we will see the benefits in our own mental health.
At night dim all the lights, avoid screens for at least an hour before bedtime, and that includes reading on your Kindle.
Invest in a sleep mask.
A big element of insomnia has to do with our nighttime exposure to light.
Light, dark. Simple as that.
A simple change I plan to adapt in 2025.
Number four is self -criticism.
We all have a judge and a jury in our own heads.
You should have done this.
You should have done that.
You messed up. You're late.
Sometimes that voice in our head is useful and potentially productive.
It keeps us working hard, disciplined and helps keep the trains running on time.
But it can blur into something else too.
A monologue of self -denigration.
The accusation that you never measured up to your own standards.
Like most people, I can fall into this myself.
Sometimes and in 2024, my goal is to leave this kind of inside talk behind.
I can't help but think back to something someone said to me once.
Imagine yourself talking to a friend or someone you just met at a party, the same way you address yourself inside your own head.
Chances are your friend would burst into tears and walk away and the person at the party would excuse himself or herself to go refresh their drink in the hopes they never have to talk to you again.
This was sound advice.
In 2025, I'll retain the right quality of self -criticism.
The kind that makes me better, kinder, more positive and more productive.
But as for the other darker stuff, I'll remember to ask myself, are you treating yourself the same way you do a close friend?
And that doesn't mean that you don't need tough love sometimes.
It doesn't mean you don't need a push or a nudge.
What it means is we don't have to denigrate ourselves in a way that we wouldn't talk to anyone we love.
Number three is waiting for the perfect time.
It's so easy to put our goals aside, to wait for the perfect time, almost as though we're expecting a lightning bolt and a rack of thunder to rumble overhead.
A signal that it's time to go ahead with our plans to travel and to pursue our passions and start that thing we've been putting off for longer than we remember.
I'll do it as soon as we tell ourselves.
As soon as the weather changes, as soon as the car gets fixed, as soon as I feel more settled.
We all do this and sometimes I find myself doing it as well.
Waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect time, the perfect sequence of months.
Well, everyone is listening right now.
There's no such thing as the perfect time.
There's no such thing as the perfect moment.
There's no such thing as the perfect anything.
Perfect is a concept taken from eternity.
Perfect is a concept that we've subscribed to for far too long and it's blocking us from starting.
Don't let perfect stop you from starting.
Don't let perfect stop you from creating.
Don't let perfect stop you from trying.
Don't let perfect stop you from practice.
Don't let perfect stop you from progress.
Don't let perfect stop you from understanding your potential.
If you wait for the perfect time to do something, I can guarantee you'll be waiting for the rest of your life.
In 2025, I am pledging that I will no longer put important things, things I want to do off.
Life is long, but it's also over before you know it.
Start what you want to do now.
Number two, as we get down to the final two, number two, when we hear the words mediocre or mediocrity, our minds go back to school or college.
We associate mediocre with so -so grades, B minuses and C pluses, and with sloppiness or an absence of effort.
Who would ever want to be mediocre?
We wouldn't ever want to be a mediocre partner, mediocre friends, a mediocre job, a mediocre car, or even a mediocre dog or cat.
Fair enough. But I'm not using the word mediocre in the conventional sense.
I'm using it in the sense of finding balance in our overstressed, overbusy, often imbalanced lives.
I know I'm not alone in occasionally going to extremes, traveling too much, working too much, exercising too much.
It's almost as though, if I don't, a voice will shoulder my head, chastising me for my lack of discipline, for not putting enough effort, for letting another person down.
I wonder sometimes, who's that person, that voice I'm at risk of letting down?
Is it me or is it a phantom parent or teacher from my past?
Is it real or is it a silhouette, an archetype?
What would happen if I listen to my own voice in an effort to figure out what feels right to me?
Or is the other voice my voice too?
What if I fought back every time that voice, that internal twist in my own personality, pushed me to tip over extremes?
Which brings me back to mediocrity.
The word comes from the Latin medius, meaning middle.
Ochris refers to a steep or rugged mountain.
Mediocre simply means in the middle of the mountain, not at the summit, not at the base camp.
Halfway there. Yes, there are some areas in my life where I will continually describe to reach the top.
And once I do that, to ascend the pinnacle of the next mountain and the next one after that.
But there is value in remembering that once you separate the word mediocre from how most of us define it, it simply means that you have found balance and balance in our lives, our relationships, our work and our well -being is what we all seek to attain, isn't it?
And finally, number one, stop fighting fate.
There's a wonderful paper written by a philosopher in the 19th century, he wrote words to the effect that as we get closer to the end of our lives and look back on the decades that have gone by and the people, places and experiences that played a part in them, it's as though a cohesive narrative stretches
out before us and inevitable shape, even though some things felt accidental and random at the time.
This thing led to that thing and that thing led to this meeting and this person and that person.
And before I knew it, what this philosopher was trying to communicate was that while we are all the heroes and protagonists of our own lives, it can be hard to shake the feeling that a co -creator also played a part because the form and the format makes such intuitive, remarkable sense when we look back
on it. You can call this co -creator God or a guardian angel or angel numbers or the universe, but the point is, there seem to be a direction that our lives were supposed to take and our goal is to go with that direction, not against it.
That doesn't mean we're passive or that we lack agency or should ever play the victim.
It's simply a reminder to trust our intuition, to remember that what happens in our life, good or bad, is happening not to us, but for us, for reasons we may not at the time understand, but we will later when we look back on our lives and see how much their shape resembles a book with a well composed
storyline, vivid characters, unexpected turns and one can only hope a satisfying ending.
This is a good lesson for all of us in 2025 to take things day by day, do battle when it's called for, but remember that by and large, most things turn out all right in the end.
Don't fight fate and if you do, remember that battle may play a part in that same fate.
Thank you so much for listening.
I want to thank each and every one of you for dedicating hours and hours and hours of your time in 2024 to listening to the podcast.
Take on purpose with you as your friend, as your companion, as your support into 2025.
I promise you, we are just getting started.
I am so excited for the future of this podcast.
We're working on something all the time for you to make it more special, more deep, more profound.
I can't wait to see you in 2025.
And I hope a lot of you will join me on my podcast live tour.
I can't wait for that.
And remember, I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you.
Thank you. If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Charles Duhigg on how to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly and the secret to making better decisions.
Look, am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making the choice because I'm scared of doing the work or am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel right yet.
The holiday season is back, which means it's a time for giving.
Subaru and its retailers believe in giving back to those who need it most.
For the past 17 years, Subaru has made the act of buying a Subaru during the holiday season an act of love.
When you purchase or lease a new Subaru during the Subaru share the love of it, Subaru and its retailers donate a minimum of $300 to charity.
By the end of this year's event, Subaru and its retailers will have donated nearly $320 million to national and hometown charities.
To learn more, go to Subaru .com slash share Subaru more than a car company.
Sometimes life can seem hard and tough to navigate, but what may seem like the smallest tasks, such as getting out of bed or even brushing your teeth should be celebrated as a win.
And State Farm is here to help you celebrate all your wins.
The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you.
Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan.
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state.
Coverage options are selected by the customer.
Availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.
This is Radhi DeVlukia from A Really Good Cry.
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