Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 917, Types of Families.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 917.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
You can become a member of ESL Podcast by going to our website.
Our website address is eslpod.com.
This episode is a dialogue between Patricia and Ed about some of the names and terms we use in describing family members.
Let's get started.
Okay, we're nearly done setting up for the neighborhood party.
I got some name tags with father, mother and kids printed on them, with a space for people to write their names.
It'll be easier for people to introduce themselves and make friends.
The name tags are a good idea, but we have to keep in mind that in this day and age, there are a lot of unconventional families.
We won't just have nuclear or traditional families coming.
I don't see how that makes a difference.
Don't you?
What if we have same-sex families?
We need to be ready to hand out two father or two mother name tags.
There are also a lot of step-families with more than one set of parents.
Well, the men are all fathers and the women are all mothers.
That simple.
I still don't see the problem.
What if the children are being raised by grandparents?
Some of the men could be grandfathers and some of the women grandmothers.
Okay, we might have some of those families.
And don't forget that some parents are divorced or are single parents.
Their current partner may not be their spouse.
It wouldn't be appropriate to give them father or mother name tags.
We might even get foster families, in which case the name tags may not be applicable at all.
I give up.
Forget I ever brought up these name tags.
I'll get blank ones with nothing on them.
That's a good idea.
Given the complexity we live in today, choosing simplicity might be the way to go.
Patricia begins our dialogue by saying to Ed Okay, we're nearly done setting up for the neighborhood party.
Apparently, they're having a party for the people who live around their house in their neighborhood.
Patricia says I got some name tags with father, mother and kids printed on them with a space for people to write their names.
A name tag N-A-M-E-T-A-G is usually a small piece of paper or something that you write on that has your name.
You usually put it on your shirt at a party where perhaps people aren't going to know each other.
And so this helps people know what other people's names are.
This is very common at large events such as conferences and conventions.
Patricia is not having a convention.
She's just having a neighborhood party.
And she wants these name tags to say father, mother, and kids.
Ed says the name tags are a good idea.
He likes that idea.
But he says we have to keep in mind, we have to remember that in this day and age there are a lot of unconventional families.
In this day and age means nowadays, in the current period, or we might even say in modern times.
Usually, we use this phrase when we're about to talk about something that has changed in society, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
Ed says there are a lot of unconventional families.
Conventional C-O-N-V-E-N-T-I-O-N-A-L means traditional normal, expected what you would expect in this situation.
Unconventional means not conventional, something you wouldn't normally expect in a situation.
Ed uses this phrase, adjective to describe families nowadays.
The traditional family.
The conventional family was always a father, a mother and child or children.
Now we have unconventional families, and that's what we're talking about here in this dialogue.
Ed says we won't just have nuclear or traditional families coming.
The nuclear family refers traditionally to the father, the mother, and the children.
It's the traditional family.
The family that has been most common in the last, I don't know, 10,000 years?
Ed says that we will not just have those kinds of traditional families coming to the party.
Patricia says, I don't see how that makes a difference.
I don't see why that is important.
Ed says, don't you?
He's surprised that she doesn't.
What if we have same-sex families?
One of the more recent changes in some countries in Europe and parts of the United States has been for the government to recognize marriage as being not just between a man and a woman, but possibly between two men or two women.
This is obviously very controversial.
A lot of people don't like this change, but it is a change that has taken place.
And so we need to know how to describe it.
And when you read about it, usually the phrase that you will see will be same hyphen sex.
A same-sex couple would be two people who are of the same sex, two men or two women.
So a same-sex family would not be a family where everyone is the same sex.
You might expect that, but instead it means that the leaders of the family are both of the same sex.
The children, of course, could be of different sexes.
Ed says, we need to be ready to hand out or to give to father or to mother name tags.
Again, the traditional use of the word father and mother refer to their biological functions.
You can only have one father and one mother.
But here we're using the term more loosely to describe two heads of a family, neither of which could be potentially the biological father or mother.
Ed says there are a lot of step-families with more than one set of parents.
A step family is a family where the mother or the father has married again to another person who is not the mother or father of their children.
So a mother and a father get married.
They have a child.
They get divorced.
And the mother remarries another man, and that man legally becomes the father of the children.
We would call him the stepfather.
So a stepfamily is a family that either the parents divorced and remarried one of the Perhaps the person was never married before had a child the woman and then married.
That might also be a step family.
Patricia says, well, the men are all fathers and the women are all mothers.
That's simple.
Of course, that's not true in a biological sense.
Patricia says, I still don't see the problem.
I still don't understand what the problem is.
Ed says... So your mother has two parents.
Your father has two parents.
Those are your grandparents.
Ed says...
Some of the men could be grandfathers and some of the women grandmothers.
Patricia says, okay, we might have some of those families.
Ed also says that there could be some parents who come who are divorced or who are single parents.
To be divorced means that you legally end your marriage right the person that you said you were going to live with until you die.
Well, you don't.
You get divorced.
And then you can go out and find a new person that you will live with until you die.
Ed says that there will be divorced parents and single parents.
A single parent would be a man or a woman who is raising his child or his children by himself or herself, without the help of the other parent.
Single parent families are typically women who have children without getting married, or but it could also be a man who has a child with another woman and the woman leaves or dies or something, and the father raises the child.
There are all sorts of possibilities in modern life, and that is one of them.
Ed continues there, meaning the parent who is divorced or who is a single parent.
Current partner may not be their spouse.
Your partner, par t n e r, is a very general term to describe someone with whom you are in a romantic relationship.
It could be a girlfriend, it could be a boyfriend, it could be a husband, it could be a wife.
The term could apply to any of those cases.
Ed says the current partner of the single parent or divorced parent may not be their spouse.
The word spouse S-P-O-U-S-E refers to someone's husband or wife.
You have to be married to have a spouse, but you don't have to be married to have a partner.
Generally speaking, when someone introduces you to their partner, they're not talking about their spouse.
They could be, but if the person is married, you would just say well, this is my husband, or this is my wife, or this is my spouse.
You probably wouldn't call them partner.
Partner is just...
A term that has been used in the last 20, 30 years or so, because there are so many people who are involved in romantic relationships who are not married.
Ed says it wouldn't be appropriate to give these people father or mother name tags.
We might even get foster families, in which case the name tags may not be applicable at all.
A foster family is a family where the children aren't legally the children of the two parents or the parent that is taking care of them.
What happens is that unhappily, in some families the parents are not able to, or unwilling to, take care of their children.
And so the government takes the children from the families and gives them to other parents who take care of them.
They don't legally become the children of those foster parents, as we call them, but they are raised by them.
They are helped by them.
Ed says we might even get foster families, in which case the name tags may not be applicable at all.
In which case means in that situation or under those circumstances.
Applicable means that it applies to them, that it is appropriate for them.
If they're foster parents, then the terms mother and father may not be considered appropriate for them.
Patricia says, I give up.
When someone says I give up, they mean I'm not going to try anymore, usually because something is too difficult for you to do.
Patricia says, forget I ever brought up these name tags.
To bring up here as a phrasal verb means to begin to talk about something, to mention something.
Patricia is saying, just forget I even started talking about name tags.
I'll get blank ones with nothing on them.
Blank, B-L-A-N-K, means nothing is written on the piece of paper.
The piece of paper or possibly the screen on your computer is empty.
We would say it is blank.
Blank is normally used for talking about pieces of paper, however.
Ed says that's a good idea.
Given the complexity we live in today, choosing simplicity might be the way to go.
Complexity and simplicity are opposite ideas.
Complexity refers to how difficult or complicated something is.
Simplicity refers to how easy to understand or how easy to practice. control a situation is.
Simplicity comes from the word simple.
Complexity comes from the word complex.
These are opposite ideas.
Now let's listen to the dialogue this time at a normal speed.
Okay, we're nearly done setting up for the neighborhood party.
I got some name tags with father, mother and kids printed on them, with a space for people to write their names.
It'll be easier for people to introduce themselves and make friends.
The name tags are a good idea, but we have to keep in mind that in this day and age, there are a lot of unconventional families.
We won't just have nuclear or traditional families coming.
I don't see how that makes a difference.
Don't you?
What if we have same sex families?
We need to be ready to hand out two father or two mother name tags.
There are also a lot of step families with more than one set of parents.
Well, the men are all fathers and the women are all mothers.
That's simple.
I still don't see the problem.
What if the children are being raised by grandparents?
Some of the men could be grandfathers and some of the women grandmothers.
Okay, we might have some of those families.
And don't forget that some parents are divorced or are single parents.
Their current partner may not be their spouse.
It wouldn't be appropriate to give them father or mother name tags.
We might even get foster families, in which case the name tags may not be applicable at all.
I give up.
Forget I ever brought up these name tags.
I'll get blank ones with nothing on them.
That's a good idea.
Given the complexity we live in today, choosing simplicity might be the way to go.
Her scripts are always full of complexity, but always interesting.
Thank you, Dr. Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2013 by the Center for Educational Development.
