Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast, number 831.
Not the marrying kind.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 831.
I'm your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan.
Coming to you from beautiful Los Angeles, California.
I still need a song for the opening.
I need some sort of music for that from beautiful Los Angeles, California part.
We have a beautiful website at ESLPOD.com.
Go there, join ESL Podcast and download the 8-10 page learning guide we have for each of our episodes.
This episode is called Not the Marrying Kind.
It's a dialogue about a man who doesn't seem to want to get married.
Let's get started.
I have a date with George this Saturday.
I can't wait.
Have a good time, but you know what the word on the street is about George, don't you?
What?
He's not the marrying kind.
Oh, he just hasn't met the right girl yet.
When he does, he'll be ready to settle down.
I don't think so.
Women who have gone out with him have told me that he's up front with them.
He has no intention of tying the knot.
Ever.
Do you think he's a commitment phobe?
I have no idea.
I just know that he likes to play the field, and anyone who dates him should not try to reform him.
I wouldn't try to reform him.
I think he'll just fall head over heels in love with me and he'll put his philandering ways behind him.
Don't count on it.
I'm convinced of it.
I'm always surprised by the degree to which women can delude themselves when it comes to love.
Stacy is talking with Brad, and she says, I have a date with George this Saturday.
A date, D-A-T-E, is when you have a romantic evening or afternoon with someone.
You go somewhere with someone.
Usually it's romantic.
Sometimes date can just mean an appointment.
But here it means a romantic time together.
Stacey says, I can't wait.
I'm really looking forward to this date.
Brad says, have a good time.
But you know what the word on the street is about George, don't you?
The expression, the word on the street, means what people are saying about something.
Even though they don't have proof that it's true, here's what people are talking about.
Here's what people are saying about this thing or this person.
Often it just means a rumor, R-U-M-O-R.
Stacy says, what?
Brad says, well, the word on the street about George is that he's not the marrying kind.
The expression, not the marrying M-A-R-R-Y-I-N-G kind means he's a person who's not interested in getting married.
He wants to remain single.
Usually this is said about a man.
Sometimes it could be said about a woman as well.
He's not the marrying kind.
We might also say he's not the marrying type, T-Y-P-E.
It means the same thing.
He's not a person that will want to get married.
Stacey says, oh, he just hasn't met the right girl yet.
He hasn't met the right person for him.
That's what all women believe that even men who are not the marrying kind will marry them because they are the perfect woman for them.
Stacy says, when he does, when he does meet the right girl or the right woman, he'll be ready to settle down.
The phrasal verb to settle, S-E-T-T-L-E, down, means to begin to live a quiet, calm life.
Usually it's an expression we use when we are talking about someone in their say, 20s or perhaps 30s, who is now ready to get married.
They were single for a long time.
They liked to go out and party and enjoy themselves.
But now the fun must end and they get married.
No, I'm just kidding.
Getting married is fun too, kids.
Brad disagrees with Stacy.
He doesn't think that George is ready to settle down and get married.
Brad says.
Women who have gone out with him, meaning who have gone on dates with him have told me that he's up front with them.
To be up front means to be direct, to be honest, to be straightforward.
You're not hiding anything.
You're not trying to be secret.
We use this term usually when we are trying to tell someone something that perhaps is difficult for them to hear or that they don't want to hear.
And we want to be honest with them.
We want to tell them right away.
Brad says that George has been up front with women.
He has no intention of tying the knot ever.
Intention, I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N, is what you plan to do.
It's what your plan is, what your goal or your aim, AIM, is.
Brad says George has no intention.
He has no plans to tie, T-I-E, the knot.
K-N-O-T.
The expression to tie the knot means to get married.
It's very common in American English.
A knot is normally something.
For example, when you have shoes that have shoelaces, you tie a knot so that your shoes don't fall off.
Well, here it means to tie a knot, I guess, to your husband or your wife, so that you won't be separated.
It's kind of like going to jail, kind of like prison, where I suppose in the old days they would tie a knot around someone's hand so they couldn't move.
That's marriage, basically.
Stacey asks, do you think he's a commitment-phobe?
Commitment is when you agree to do something with someone or you simply agree to do something.
It's like a promise.
Phobe, P-H-O-B-E, refers to someone who's afraid of something.
So a commitment phobe would be someone who's afraid of commitment, who doesn't want to promise to do something like get married.
Brad says, I have no idea.
I don't know.
I just know, I only know, that he likes to play the field.
The expression to play the field describes usually a man who likes to date many different people.
A person who doesn't want to just have one long-term relationship, romantic relationship.
Sometimes we describe informally someone as being a player, P-L-A-Y-E-R.
The idea is similar as someone who likes to have lots of usually different girlfriends.
He plays the field.
Anyone who dates George, Brad continues, should not try to reform him.
To reform, R-E-F-O-R-M someone or something, means to fix it, to change it, to make it better.
Women often think they can change a man, they can reform him, they can make him different from what he really is.
This is a common belief among many women who get married.
Is it true?
Well, sometimes.
Stacy says I won't try to reform him.
I think he'll just fall head over heels in love with me and he'll put his philandering ways behind him.
The expression to fall head over heels H-E-E-L-S.
In love with someone means to have a sudden strong romantic interest in someone.
It's, I suppose, related a little bit to love at first sight, S-I-G-H-T, where you see someone, you see a beautiful woman across the room, or a beautiful man, a handsome man, and you fall in love with them.
You fall head over heels in love.
To fall head over heels doesn't mean it happens the first time you see them.
That would be the expression love at first sight.
But it could happen.
You fall head over heels with someone the first time you see them.
Stacy says that she thinks, after George falls in love with her, that he'll put his philandering ways behind him.
Philander, P-H-I-L-A-N-D-E-R means that a man goes out and has romantic relationships with different women, typically sexual relationships with different women.
He's not interested in having a relationship with only one woman.
Often the man will be lying about his relationships to the women that he is with.
That's the way men are sometimes, unfortunately.
Stacey says that she thinks George will put his philandering ways, ways, W-A-Y-S, here means habits.
He will put his philandering ways behind him.
To put something behind you or behind him means to forget about it, to no longer do that thing.
Brad says don't count on it.
To count on something means to depend on or to rely on something, to believe something is true.
Brad says, do not count on it.
Don't expect that to happen.
Stacy says, I'm convinced of it.
I'm persuaded.
I believe it is true.
Brad says, I'm always surprised by the degree to which women can delude themselves when it comes to love.
I'm always surprised.
It always surprises me.
This is an expression we use when we are talking about something perhaps, that we don't understand, but also as a way of emphasizing to the other person how we have a very different opinion than they do about something, or how unusual we think their opinion or their action is.
Brad says, I'm always surprised by the degree, the extent, the amount to which women can delude themselves.
To delude D-E-L-U-D-E means to lie and cause others to believe those lies.
In this case, The women are deluding themselves.
They're lying to themselves.
They are trying to persuade themselves of something that they know isn't really true.
So when you delude yourself, you are lying to yourself because you don't want to accept the reality, the truth.
Brad says, The expression when it comes to means concerning, regarding, in relation to, or about.
Of course this woman Stacy, thinks she can reform George and Brad is saying no, that's not going to be possible.
You're deluding yourself.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
I have a date with George this Saturday.
I can't wait.
Have a good time, but you know what the word on the street is about George, don't you?
What?
He's not the marrying kind.
Oh, he just hasn't met the right girl yet.
When he does, he'll be ready to settle down.
I don't think so.
Women who have gone out with him have told me that he's up front with them.
He has no intention of tying the knot.
Ever.
Do you think he's a commitment phobe?
I have no idea.
I just know that he likes to play the field, and anyone who dates him should not try to reform him.
I wouldn't try to reform him.
I think he'll just fall head over heels in love with me and he'll put his philandering ways behind him.
Don't count on it.
I'm convinced of it.
I'm always surprised by the degree to which women can delude themselves when it comes to love.
You can always count on learning lots of new and useful English expressions and phrases in our scripts that are written by our wonderful script writer, Dr Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2012 by the Center for Educational Development.
