Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 729, Being Blunt and Stubborn.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 729.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
This podcast has a website, and the website is eslpod.com.
Go there to become a member and download the learning guide for this episode.
All of the cool kids are doing it.
This episode is a dialogue between Simone and Dirk about people who are perhaps a little more direct, a little more honest than you would want them to be.
Let's get started.
So, what did you think of Bruce?
Isn't he great?
Well, he's certainly direct and forthright with his opinions.
I don't think I've ever met anyone who speaks his mind the way he does.
Yeah, isn't that great?
I've never liked a guy who straddles the fence or has namby-pamby opinions.
I've always liked guys with strong opinions.
Well, there's strong and there's pig-headedness, don't you think?
What?
You think Bruce is pig-headed just because he doesn't budge when other people try to sway him?
I think that's an admirable trait.
I think being blunt can be admirable under the right circumstances, but being stubborn as a mule can make it hard on other people, don't you think?
No, I don't.
Other people can pull their punches if they want to, but a man who'll speak up about what he believes in and stand by it is a real man to me.
I can see why you two make a perfect couple.
I hope never to be on the wrong side of an argument with either one of you.
Simone begins by saying to Dirk, so what do you think of Bruce?
Meaning, what is your opinion of Bruce?
Isn't he great?
Isn't he wonderful?
Dirk says, well, he's certainly direct and forthright in his opinions.
To be direct is Here means to give your opinion without trying to be nice to the other person.
You tell them exactly what you are thinking, even if it might hurt them a little.
Direct has several meanings in English, however.
Take a look at our learning guide for some more of those.
To be forthright.
F-O-R-T-H-R-I-G-H-T, one word, is the same as direct.
To be outspoken or bold are other synonyms, other words similar to this word of forthright.
He says, To speak your mind is an expression that means to share your opinion, even if other people have a different opinion.
I speak my mind on the podcast sometimes.
The idea is usually that maybe some people will disagree with you about cats or my neighbor's children, for example.
Simone says, yeah, isn't that great?
I've never liked a guy who straddles the fence or has namby pamby opinions.
To straddle, S-T-R-A-D-D-L-E, the fence is an expression that means to be indecisive.
Not to be able to decide what you want or what you believe, because you're able to see the pluses and minuses, the advantages and disadvantages of both sides.
So you don't make up your mind.
You don't give your opinion because you're not quite sure.
Simone says that she doesn't like guys, men, who straddle the fence.
She doesn't like men who have namby-pamby opinions either.
Namby N-A-M-B-Y, hyphen Pamby P-A-M-B-Y means not to be able to make a clear decision, to be indecisive.
It's definitely a negative way of describing someone who doesn't make a decision, who sits back and says well, maybe yes, maybe no.
To straddle the fence is more neutral.
That is...
It doesn't necessarily mean you're criticizing the person.
But namby-pamby and those two words are not used in any other context in English that I know.
Namby-pamby is definitely a negative way to describe someone.
Simone says, I've always liked guys with strong opinions.
Dirk says, well, there's strong, and then there's pig-headedness.
Well, there's a couple of things going on in that expression, or that sentence.
Dirk says that there is something called pig-headedness.
This is a long word, all one word, pig-headedness.
To be pig-headed means to not change your opinion, to be stubborn.
You won't change your opinion no matter what other people say.
We can describe someone as being pig-headed, and that is definitely a negative way to describe them.
Why pigs?
I don't know.
But that's the expression.
So pig-headedness is the state of or the condition of being stubborn.
Dirk says there's strong and there's pig-headedness.
We might more commonly say there's strong and then there's pig-headedness.
That construction, that structure of there's something and then there's something else is used to emphasize how one word seems to be okay, but the second word, the second concept is definitely negative.
So being strong, in your opinion, that's okay.
But being pig-headed, that's not okay.
Another example, there's dieting and then there's anorexia.
To diet means not to eat food because you are trying to lose weight.
Anorexia is a disease that causes you to not want to eat and that can be very dangerous to your health.
It can make you sick.
It can even kill you.
So the first term is positive or neutral.
The second one is negative.
There's something and then there's something else.
And the something else is always negative.
So Dirk says there's strong and then there's pig-headedness.
Don't you think?
Simone says what?
Simone is obviously upset by Dirk's comment.
She says that he isn't pigheaded just because he doesn't budge when other people try to sway him.
To budge, B-U-D-G-E, means to move when you are pushed.
In this case, it means to change your opinion about When you get new information.
Someone tells you something and you change your mind.
But if someone tells you something and you still do not change your mind, we might say that you won't budge.
You won't change your opinion.
To sway S-W-A-Y here means to persuade or convince someone to consider another idea or to have a different opinion, to change someone's opinion.
Simone says that Bruce doesn't budge when other people try to sway him, try to change his opinion.
She thinks that that is an admirable trait.
Something that is admirable is something you admire.
That's where the word comes from.
A-D-M-I-R-E is the verb, admire.
Admirable is the adjective, someone who you have a high opinion of, who you respect.
A trait.
T-R-A-I-T is a characteristic, a feature, an aspect of someone's personality, the way someone acts.
You could say that he is an honest person or he is a confident person.
Or he is a generous person.
He gives his money to other people who need it.
Those are traits, for most people, admirable traits.
Dirk says, I think being blunt can be admirable under the right circumstances.
But being stubborn as a mule can make it hard on other people, don't you think?
Dirk is defending himself here.
He's saying that being blunt, that is, being direct, is okay.
It's okay to be forthright, direct, blunt.
But to be stubborn as a mule can make it hard on other people.
A mule, M-U-L-E, is the offspring, is the child of a horse and a donkey.
They are used as animals usually for transporting or moving things or pulling things.
Well, the idea is that mules are stubborn, like donkeys are stubborn.
They don't change their mind.
They don't like to be moved.
I don't know if that's true or not, but that's the expression.
So to be stubborn as a mule means to be very stubborn, not to want to change your mind ever.
Dirk says that that can make it hard on other people.
It can be difficult when you are working with other people.
Simone does not agree.
She says other people can pull their punches if they want to.
To pull your punches means not to be as forceful as you could.
Someone who could be more powerful or more forceful could perhaps damage someone else or hurt someone else more, but they decide not to.
The expression comes from boxing.
Boxing is a sport where two people, usually men, who try to hit each other with their fists, with their hands and their arms.
A punch is when you actually hit another person with your fist, which is your hand closed up tight.
To pull your punches would be not to hit as hard as you could.
That's where the expression, I believe, comes from.
Simone says that other people may do that, but she wants a man who will speak up about what he believes in.
To speak up is a two-word phrasal verb meaning to say your opinion even when it is unpopular or no one wants to hear it.
Simone says that Bruce, who I guess is her boyfriend or someone she perhaps wants to be her boyfriend, speaks up about what he believes in and stands by it.
To stand by something or someone means to be committed to it, to continue to believe in something or someone even when they are unpopular, even when things are going badly for them.
Simone says that Bruce stands by his opinions.
He doesn't change them because they are unpopular.
Dirk says, I can see why you two make a perfect couple.
That is why you are a good match, a good pair of people to be together.
To be on the wrong side of an argument means to disagree with another person.
To have an argument with another person.
Normally, when we say you're on the wrong side of something, it means that you're wrong or that you are in a position or a situation that will probably lose.
That will not be the winning situation.
We may talk about someone being on the wrong side of history or meaning they're supporting an opinion or an idea that in many years, people will consider wrong.
For example.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
So, what did you think of Bruce?
Isn't he great?
Well, he's certainly direct and forthright with his opinions.
I don't think I've ever met anyone who speaks his mind the way he does.
Yeah, isn't that great?
I've never liked a guy who straddles the fence or has namby-pamby opinions.
I've always liked guys with strong opinions.
Well, there's strong and there's pig-headedness, don't you think?
What?
You think Bruce is pig-headed?
Just because he doesn't budge when other people try to sway him?
I think that's an admirable trait.
I think being blunt can be admirable under the right circumstances.
But being stubborn as a mule can make it hard on other people, don't you think?
No, I don't.
Other people can pull their punches if they want to.
But a man who'll speak up about what he believes in and stand by it is a real man to me.
I can see why the two of you make a perfect couple.
I hope never to be on the wrong side of an argument with either one of you.
Our scriptwriter always speaks her mind in her scripts.
That's the one, the only, Dr. Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2011 by the Center for Educational Development.
