Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 724, Being Impolite in Conversation.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 724.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
This episode is called Being Impolite in Conversation.
It's a dialogue between Angela and Ronnie talking about someone who is not very nice when they are having a conversation with someone else.
Let's get started.
I hate talking to Rebecca.
Every time I ask her a question, she ignores me or sneers at me.
It's not my imagination.
When I try to tell her something, she cuts me off.
When I try to explain something to her, she's short with me or talks over me.
I always get the feeling that she's looking down her nose at me.
Maybe she feels threatened by you.
How so?
You're younger, smarter and better educated.
But I'm not.
I just started here, and I don't have any designs on replacing her.
What does that have to do with anything, even if it were true?
Well, she's had a thing for me for a while, and... And she thinks I'm her competition.
No wonder she's so standoffish with me.
I'll just make it clear that I won't stand in her way.
You won't?
Huh?
Never mind.
Angela begins by saying to Ronnie, Ugh, I hate talking to Rebecca.
Every time I ask her a question, she ignores me or sneers at me.
To ignore someone is not to pay attention to them, not to talk to them or even act as if they are there with you.
To sneer S-N-E-E-R means to smile in a mean way or to make an expression with your face, with your mouth, that indicates that you are being mean or unkind.
Ronnie says, are you sure it's not your imagination?
Imagination is our ability to invent new things in our mind, to think of new things.
Ronnie is asking if perhaps Angela is imagining what Rebecca is doing, meaning Rebecca isn't really doing it.
It's just Angela who thinks she is.
Ronnie says she, Rebecca, is perfectly nice to me.
Perfectly.
Here is used to emphasize what you are saying, especially when something is in doubt or is in question.
Perfect has a number of meanings in English, however.
Take a look at our learning guide for some more of those.
Angela says it's not my imagination.
When I tell her something, she cuts me off.
To cut someone off is a phrasal verb meaning to interrupt someone, to start speaking before they are finished speaking.
We use this expression to cut someone off in conversation.
We also use it, perhaps a little more commonly, in driving.
To cut someone off when you are driving is to drive right in front of them, to go from one lane to another and cause them to have to slow down because you have gone right in front of their car or you have come very close to their car, too close for safety.
That's to cut someone off on the freeway or on a road.
It happens every day here in Los Angeles and in every city where there are cars, I would guess.
Angela says, when I try to explain something to her, she's short with me or talks over me.
Not only does Rebecca cut her off, interrupt her conversation when Angela is trying to explain something to Rebecca.
She is short with me.
To be short with someone means to give very short answers that seem unfriendly.
Someone says to you, so, how was your weekend?
And you say, fine.
And they say, oh, tell me what you did.
And you say, nothing.
That would be perhaps, being short with someone or saying something in a way that is slightly angry, that you are angry at that person or upset.
To talk over someone means to talk while the other person is still talking.
To cut someone off means to interrupt them, to make them stop talking so that you can talk.
To talk over someone is to talk, often at a higher volume louder, while that person is still talking.
You're trying to get them to stop talking, but if they don't stop talking, you just continue talking yourself.
You talk over them.
This happens on political discussion shows on television all the time now in the United States, something that became popular about oh 30 years ago, I would guess.
And now everyone talks over everyone else.
And, of course, if you are talking and the other person is talking, there's nobody listening.
Angela says, I always get the feeling, I always think that she's looking down her nose at me.
To look down your nose at someone means to think that you are better than the other person, to think that you are superior to another person.
Ronnie says, maybe she, Rebecca, feels threatened by you.
To feel threatened by someone in this case means to feel challenged, as though someone wants to remove you or replace you.
This could be especially true if the person you are talking to is your boss or someone above you in position in the company.
If they feel threatened by you, they think that maybe you will come and take their job or their position.
Angela says to Ronnie's statement, how so?
How so is a question meaning?
Please give me more examples of what you are talking about, or give me more information.
When you don't understand what someone is saying and you want them to tell you more, you might use this question.
You may hear someone say, for example, that is a terrible grocery store and you say, how so?
And they say, well, they don't have any good fruit.
The meat department never has enough chicken.
The people there are not friendly.
Those are reasons why it is such a bad grocery store.
So how so tells the person to give you more information.
Ronnie then gives Angela more information about why he thinks Rebecca feels threatened by her.
He says, you, Angela, are younger, smarter, and better educated.
She might feel like you're after her job.
To be after something means to want to get it, to try to do something to get something.
He is after his best friend's girlfriend.
He wants to get the girlfriend to be his girlfriend.
Kind of like that song in the 1980s by the Cars.
She's my best friend's girlfriend, and she used to be mine.
That's a little different story.
See, it used to be his girlfriend, and now the girlfriend is the girlfriend of his best friend.
Not really a good situation, I think, if you want to stay friends with someone.
Anyway, we're talking about Angela and Rebecca.
Rebecca feels threatened by Angela because Ronnie says Angela is smarter, younger and better educated.
Angela says she's not after Rebecca's job.
She says, I just started here.
And I don't have any designs on replacing her.
To have designs on something means to plan to do or get something.
Often by doing something secret or dishonest, not honest.
I have designs on my best friend's girlfriend.
I want to try to get her away from him and I'm going to do something tricky or secret to make that happen.
Ronnie says, and you're prettier than she is.
That is, Angela is prettier than Rebecca.
Angela says, what does that have to do with anything, even if it were true?
Meaning, why is that important that I may be prettier than she is?
Ronnie says well, she's had a thing for me for a while, and to have a thing for someone means to be interested in someone romantically.
I have a thing for my best friend's girlfriend.
See, we keep coming back to that example.
So That's one reason why Rebecca doesn't like Angela because Angela is prettier and Rebecca likes Ronnie, and Rebecca thinks that Ronnie will become interested in Angela instead of in her.
Angela understands now.
She says And she Rebecca thinks I'm her competition, meaning the two of them are trying to get Ronnie and Angela is going to compete against Rebecca.
She's going to fight against Rebecca, if you will, to get Ronnie.
Angela then says, No wonder, meaning it is no surprise.
It is not surprising.
She's so standoffish with me.
To be standoffish, S-T-A-N-D-O-F-F-I-S-H, one word, is means to be very unfriendly, to be very formal with someone when you should be perhaps informal and friendly with them.
To be standoffish means to be not very welcoming of another person.
Angela says.
I'll just make it clear that That is.
I'll explain to Rebecca clearly that I won't stand in her way.
To stand in someone's way means to prevent them from doing something, to try to stop them from doing something.
Angela is going to tell Rebecca that she Angela, will not stand in her way, meaning she is not going to try to get Ronnie interested in her romantically.
Ronnie says, you won't.
Ronnie, of course, is surprised.
He wants Angela to be interested in him. obviously.
Angela says, huh?
She doesn't understand.
When we don't understand something.
An informal way of expressing that is with the following sound huh.
Spelled H-U-H.
Ronnie says, never mind.
Never mind is a phrase we use when someone doesn't want to repeat or explain something he has just said, either because it isn't very important or because you think the other person won't understand it.
Ronnie is disappointed when he finds out that Angela isn't really romantically interested in him.
So when Angela doesn't understand what Ronnie is really saying, he says, never mind.
He doesn't want to explain it to her.
Of course, that would be somewhat embarrassing to Ronnie.
Now let's listen to the dialogue this time at a normal speed.
Maybe she feels threatened by you How so?
You're younger, smarter, and better educated.
She might feel like you're after her job.
But I'm not.
I just started here and I don't have any designs on replacing her.
And you're prettier than she is.
What does that have to do with anything, even if it were true?
Well, she's had a thing for me for a while and... And she thinks I'm her competition.
No wonder she's so standoffish with me.
I'll just make it clear that I won't stand in her way.
You won't?
Huh?
Never mind.
I don't have any designs on the job of scriptwriter here at ESL Podcast.
That's because it's done by someone younger, smarter, and better educated than I am, Dr. Lucy Saye.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2011 by the Center for Educational Development.
