Welcome to English as a Second Language.
Podcast number 550 Differences in Male and Female Friendships.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 550.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
Our website is eslpod.com.
Go there to download a learning guide for this episode that will help you improve your English even faster.
This episode is called Differences in Male and Female Friendships.
It's a dialogue between Lauren and Quentin and talks about how men and women are different when it comes to their friends, using a lot of vocabulary you might use when talking about friendship.
Let's get started.
Did you see what Stephanie was wearing?
She looked like a wet dog.
Do what?
It was only a joke.
I didn't mean anything by it.
Do you really think she would find it funny if she had heard you?
What about you men?
You guys are always bantering and trying to one-up each other.
Aren't you guys trying to see who's superior and who's inferior?
Women are catty and talk behind each other's backs.
We men make fun of each other in a good-natured way while we're together.
That's the difference.
You women are laughing at each other, and we men are laughing with each other.
Oh, yeah?
Was Tim laughing with you guys when you threw him into the lake last weekend?
That was very funny.
And yes, he thought it was funny too.
What you women don't understand is that we give as good as we get.
Next time, Tim will play a trick on someone else.
So it's a vicious cycle of pranks.
Yeah, you could say that.
That's how men bond.
That's something you women don't seem to understand.
We understand, all right.
You take turns torturing each other and call it male bonding.
See what I mean?
You women stick to your ways and we'll stick to ours.
Lauren begins by asking Quentin, Did you see what Stephanie was wearing?
She looked like a wet dog.
A wet dog, I guess, is an insulting term.
A wet dog would not look very good, I guess, is the idea.
Quentin says, why do women do that?
Lauren says, do what?
Meaning, I don't understand what you're talking about.
Quentin says, why do women put other women down?
To put someone down is a phrasal verb meaning to say something that makes another person seem or feel less important.
To say something mean, something not nice about someone else, is to put them down.
Quentin is asking Lauren why women put other women down, why they insult other women.
Quentin says, Superior means better than someone else.
The opposite of superior is inferior.
So Quentin is asking Lauren if women insult each other, say bad things about each other to make themselves feel superior, like they're better than the other women?
Lauren says, it was only a joke.
I didn't mean anything by it.
When someone says they don't mean anything by it, They mean that they know that they said something that was not kind, that was mean, but they didn't really want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Usually we say this when we say something bad, but we aren't thinking about it very clearly before we say it.
And after we say it, we regret it.
We think, oh, I should not have done that.
And so we say, oh, I didn't mean anything by it.
I didn't mean, I didn't intend to hurt her.
Quentin says, do you really think she would find it funny if she had heard you?
What Quentin is saying here is that Lauren's comment was not a joke.
It was not funny.
And Stephanie would not think it funny if she heard it.
Lauren says, what about you men?
You guys are always bantering and trying to one-up each other.
To banter B-A-N-T-E-R means to have a friendly conversation with lots of jokes, especially jokes about other people in the conversation.
So when people banter, they're making jokes, and some of those jokes are about the people in that group.
Lauren says, you guys, you men, are always bantering and trying to one up each other.
To one up someone means to do or say something to show that you can do something better than the other person.
You are superior to the other person.
You can beat them.
Lauren is saying that men are always trying to one-up each other, to be better, to seem better than the other.
Aren't you guys trying to see who's superior and who's inferior?
Remember, inferior is the opposite of superior.
It means worse than someone or something else.
Quentin says, women are catty and talk behind each other's backs.
To be catty C-A-T-T-Y means that you say nice things about someone when they are there, when they are next to you or in front of you, but then, when they leave, When they are not there, you say mean things or unkind things about them.
So you could say to someone, oh, that's a beautiful dress you have on, Maria.
And Maria walks away and you say to your friend, that is the ugliest dress I have ever seen.
That would be catty.
Quentin is saying that women are catty.
I'm not saying women are catty.
Quentin is saying that.
I want to make that very clear.
Quentin also says that women talk behind each other's back.
To talk behind someone's back means to say bad things about another person when he or she can't hear them, doesn't know what you are saying.
You tell everyone that you think the boss is a terrible manager.
That's talking behind someone's back.
Quentin says To make fun of someone or something means to make jokes about that thing or that person.
To make fun of someone is usually considered mean, not nice.
But Quentin says that when men do it, they are doing it in a good-natured way.
Good natured means in a friendly way.
You're not really being mean.
You're not really being unkind.
Quentin says that's the difference.
You women are laughing at each other and we men are laughing with each other.
Lauren says, oh yeah, meaning she doesn't believe what Quentin is saying.
Was Tim laughing with you guys when you threw him into the lake last weekend?
Apparently, Quentin and his friends threw Tim, another friend, into a lake last I'm not sure why as a joke.
In fact, Quentin says that was very funny, and yes, he thought, Tim thought, it was funny too.
What you women don't understand is that we give as good as we get.
To give as good as you get is an expression that means we do to another person whatever he or she has done to us.
Usually it's in a negative way.
So you as a man may make a joke about another friend, another man.
But that friend will also make a joke about you.
So you give as good as you get.
Next time, Quentin says, Tim will play a trick on someone else.
To play a trick on someone means to fool or deceive someone, to do something that surprises someone and makes that person look silly or stupid.
Lauren says, so it's a vicious cycle of pranks.
A vicious V-I-C-I-O-U-S cycle is a situation where A causes B, which causes C, which causes A, which causes B, and so forth.
That one thing causes another thing, that causes another thing, that causes the first thing, and the cycle repeats.
Things go around and around.
A vicious cycle is usually a cycle or a situation where things are getting worse and worse.
When the economy is bad, people lose their jobs.
And when they lose their jobs, they don't have money to buy things at the store.
And when they don't have money to buy things at the store, the people in the store lose their jobs and they have less money to spend.
And that causes more people to lose their jobs.
So it's a vicious cycle.
A prank, P-R-A-N-K, is some sort of trick, some sort of joke, but it's usually something you do.
When I was young in school...
One popular prank was to go to someone's house that you didn't like and throw toilet paper all over the trees.
I never did this, honestly, but that was a prank that some other people did.
I won't name any names.
Quentin says, you could say that, meaning, yes, it's a vicious cycle of pranks.
That's how men bond, B-O-N-D.
Bond means to develop a close relationship with someone.
It has no relation to Bond, James Bond, the famous British spy, 007.
This is a different kind of bond.
Here it's a verb and it means to have a close connection or relationship with someone.
Quentin says that's something you women don't seem to understand.
Lauren says, we understand all right, meaning, yes, in fact, we do understand.
You take turns torturing each other and call it male bonding.
To torture someone means to cause pain, either physical or psychological, usually because you are trying to get someone to do something, to give you information perhaps.
Quentin says, See what I mean?
Now do you understand?
You women stick to your ways and we'll stick to ours.
We men will stick to ours.
To stick to is a phrasal verb meaning continue doing something, continue using something without changing.
I'm going to stick to recording podcasts because I'm not very good at anything else.
That's pretty much true.
Now let's listen to the dialogue again, this time at a normal speed.
Did you see what Stephanie was wearing?
She looked like a wet dog.
Why do women do that?
Do what?
Why do women put other women down?
Is it to make themselves feel superior?
It was only a joke.
I didn't mean anything by it.
Do you really think that she would find it funny if she had heard you?
What about you men?
You guys are always bantering and trying to one-up each other.
Aren't you guys trying to see who's superior and who's inferior?
Women are catty and talk behind each other's backs.
We men make fun of each other in a good-natured way while we're together.
That's the difference You women are laughing at each other and we men are laughing with each other.
Oh yeah.
Was Tim laughing with you guys when you threw him into the lake last weekend?
That was very funny, and yes, he thought it was funny too.
What you women don't understand is that we give as good as we get.
Next time, Tim will play a trick on someone else.
So it's a vicious cycle of pranks?
Yeah, you could say that.
That's how men bond.
That's something you women don't seem to understand.
We understand, all right.
You take turns torturing each other and call it male bonding.
See what I mean?
You women stick to your ways, and we'll stick to ours.
The script for this episode was written by the always good-natured Dr. Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us next time on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2010 by the Center for Educational Development.
