Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 361, Feeling Lonely.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 361.
If you go there, you can download a learning guide for this episode...
That contains all of the information you need to help you improve your English even faster, including all of the vocabulary definitions, cultural notes, comprehension questions and a complete transcript of everything we say on this episode.
This episode is called Feeling Lonely.
To be lonely is to be sad because you are by yourself.
You are alone.
There is no one else with you.
Let's get started.
Moving to a new city can be a lonely experience.
When I first moved to Los Angeles I didn't know anyone and it was hard to strike up new friendships.
I'm a pretty sociable person, but it's still hard meeting new people and even harder to make lasting friendships.
I've never been a lone wolf, so being in a new city out on my own was a new experience.
Sometimes I liked doing solitary things, but after a while I yearned to be around other people.
I would go to busy places to people watch.
I would see families walking by, groups of friends hanging out together and couples arm in arm, and wished I was walking along with them.
When you're feeling lonely, it sometimes feels like there's a wall between you and everyone else, a wall that's not easy to break down.
Slowly, I started to meet people at my new job and to see them outside of work.
Having this companionship and camaraderie, especially with people I had a good rapport with, was a welcomed change.
In time I made some good friends.
Our story begins by me saying moving to a new city can be a lonely experience.
We've already explained lonely as feeling alone by yourself.
When I first moved to Los Angeles and this is a true story I didn't know anyone and it was hard to strike up new friendships.
To strike up something means to begin something.
To strike up a conversation means to start talking to another person, to begin a conversation.
To strike up a new friendship means to begin a new friendship, to become friends with someone.
When you don't know anyone, it's hard to strike up new friendships.
I say that I'm a pretty sociable person.
Someone who is sociable, is very friendly, likes spending time with other people very outgoing, we might say.
But it's still hard meeting new people and even harder to make lasting friendships.
Something that is lasting is something that Goes on for a long time.
Endures for a long time.
A friendship is, of course, when you are friends with another person.
So a lasting friendship is when you are friends with someone for a very long time.
I say that I've never been a lone wolf.
The expression lone wolf, two words, is a person who likes to be alone more than to be with other people.
A wolf is actually an animal, but the expression lone wolf refers to someone who likes to be by themselves.
Well, I am not a lone wolf.
So being in a new city out on my own was a new experience.
When we say you are out on your own, we mean that you are independent.
You are no longer being supported by other people.
Many college students live with their parents or their parents pay for their education and their housing.
And then they go out on their own.
They find a job and they live in their own apartment and so forth.
I was actually out on my own back in Minnesota before I moved to Los Angeles, but I was also on my own here in LA when I first moved here back in 1991.
I say that sometimes I like to do solitary things.
Solitary, S-O-L-I-T-A-R-Y, means alone, isolated, without other people.
There's a card game called Solitary that you can play by yourself because it requires only one person.
If you are in prison, in jail, and you do something wrong or they think you're a very dangerous prisoner, they will sometimes put you into solitary confinement, which means you are in a place all by yourself, with no other prisoners.
After a while I continue I yearned to be around other people.
To yearn means to desire or to want something very much.
We might also use the expression to long for.
To long for is a two-word phrasal verb meaning to really desire something, to really want something.
I would go to busy places to people watch.
People watching means just what it says.
You go to a public place, to a mall or someplace where there are a lot of people walking by, and you look at them, how they act, how they're dressed perhaps what they are talking about.
That's to people watch.
Here in Los Angeles, most people drive cars from one place to another.
Even if it doesn't take very long to walk, they'll still drive.
So there are not a lot of places you can go to people watch where people are actually walking down the street.
It's very different from many big cities such as New York, where everyone walks, especially in downtown or in Manhattan.
But here in Los Angeles, there are not that many places where people actually walk around.
I say that I would see families walking by, groups of friends hanging out together and couples arm in arm.
To hang out is an informal two-word phrasal verb meaning to spend time with someone in a very relaxed way, not to have any specific plans.
So I saw groups of friends hanging out together and couples arm-in-arm.
Arm hyphen in hyphen arm means walking with your arms linked or connected.
The other person is holding on to your arm.
I would see couples, men and women, walking arm in arm.
I wished that I was walking along with them.
You can also say here, I wished I were walking along with them.
In formal English grammar, were is considered correct.
However, in daily conversation, it is very common and completely acceptable to say was in this case.
When you're feeling lonely, it sometimes feels like there is a wall between you and everyone else.
A wall that's not easy to break down.
To break down is a two-word phrasal verb meaning to get rid of something, to eliminate something.
To break down has a couple of different meanings.
Once again, take a look at our learning guide for some additional explanations.
Slowly, I say, I started to meet people at my new job and to see them, to go out with them outside of work.
Having this companionship and camaraderie was a welcomed change.
Companionship here means basically the same as friendship being with someone that you like not being alone.
Camaraderie means the feeling of friendship among a group of people who spend time together.
Camaraderie is when you get along well with the people around you.
They are your good friends.
So I say that having companionship and camaraderie, especially with people I had a good rapport with, was a welcomed change, a good change.
Rapport R-A-P-P-O-R-T.
Notice, the T is not pronounced.
Means a good understanding, friendliness between and among people.
When you have easy communication with someone, you have good rapport with them.
In time, meaning over time, after a while...
To dread means to fear something that is going to happen in the future.
To be worried about something that might happen.
I used to dread the weekends.
Probably because you are used to being with friends and family on your weekend days and nights.
And so if you are alone, you feel even more lonely because you don't have anyone to spend your time with.
And that was certainly true for me the first year or two that I lived in Los Angeles.
I used to dread the weekends.
Well, I no longer dread the weekends.
I hope you don't dread listening to ESL Podcast, where we're always here for you.
Now let's listen to the story, this time at a normal speed.
Moving to a new city can be a lonely experience.
When I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn't know anyone and it was hard to strike up new friendships.
I'm a pretty sociable person, but it's still hard meeting new people and even harder to make lasting friendships.
I've never been a lone wolf, so being in a new city out on my own was a new experience.
Sometimes I like doing solitary things, but after a while, I yearn to be around other people.
I would go to busy places to people watch and I would see families walking by, groups of friends hanging out together and couples arm in arm, and wished I was walking along with them.
When you're feeling lonely, it sometimes feels like there's a wall between you and everyone else, a wall that's not easy to break down.
Slowly, I started to meet people at my new job and to see them outside of work.
Having this companionship and camaraderie, especially with people I had a good rapport with, was a welcomed change.
In time, I made some good friends and I no longer dreaded the weekends.
But I've never forgotten how hard it was in those first months to be a stranger in a new place.
The script for this episode was written by the sociable Dr. Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
We'll see you next time on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
This podcast is copyright 2008.
