The Power of Weekly Wishes: Enhancing Planning Through Intentional Collaboration

In the latest episode of Before Breakfast, host Laura Vanderkam introduces a transformative approach to weekly planning: the concept of soliciting "wishes for the week." Inspired by pediatrician Dr. Reshma Shah, this practice shifts the tone of household management from a chore-based burden to an exercise in shared anticipation and intentionality.

The Origin of the "Wishes" Concept

Dr. Reshma Shah, an expert in family eating patterns, utilizes this strategy specifically for meal planning. Rather than shouldering the entire mental load of deciding what to feed her family, she invites her children to share their "wishes for the week." By incorporating these requests into the menu, she creates a sense of "positive buy-in." This collaborative process ensures that family members are "more likely to get a meal they like," which significantly reduces the friction and complaints that often accompany routine household tasks.

Broadening the Scope: Beyond the Kitchen

While the technique is rooted in culinary planning, Vanderkam suggests that the power of asking for "wishes" extends far beyond the dinner table. Applying this framework to broader life planning can transform how families and individuals approach their time. Whether it is a desire to "see a particular exhibit at an art museum," a child’s hope to "go ice skating," or a partner’s request to "sit by the fire pit," identifying these goals early allows for the deliberate scheduling of moments that bring joy.

Furthermore, this approach is equally effective for practical goals. One might decide their wish for the week is to "cook and freeze a bunch of meals" to alleviate stress during a "busy season at work." By articulating these intentions, individuals can proactively "make your wishes and other people's wishes come true."

The Psychology of Language

Vanderkam emphasizes that there is "magic in Dr. Shah's phrasing." The specific choice of the word "wishes" is intentional. Unlike the mundane questions of "what do you want to do?" or "what do you want for dinner?"—which frequently elicit the unhelpful response of "I don't know" or a desire to "do nothing"—the term "wishes" invites "possibility" and "delight."

Asking about wishes "elicits more smiles and anticipation" because it reframes the upcoming week as a blank canvas for potential enjoyment rather than a list of obligations.

Conclusion

Incorporating the practice of asking for "wishes for the week" is a simple yet profound way to enhance household harmony. By fostering a sense of agency and contribution among all family members, this method moves planning away from the standard, often exhausting, query of basic needs and toward a proactive, collaborative effort to maximize life satisfaction. As we head into our weekly planning sessions, we would do well to consider what we—and those around us—truly wish for, and create the space to make those wishes a reality.