Hello! Welcome to Stories Podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Weldon.
Today's story is called Why Monkeys Live Forever, a retelling from a translation of Journey to the West by Wu Cheng En, written for the podcast by Michael Lowe, our friend from luckoflegends .com.
For more about Michael and luckoflegends .com, tune in at the end of the episode.
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Why Mountain Monkeys Live Forever This is the story of why some mountain monkeys never seem to get any older.
Some, so the legends say, are hundreds, maybe thousands of years old.
Now, to be fair, there are all sorts of stories about Taoist immortals from China, but they tend to be humans who have escaped aging and death through secret potions and hidden magics, mastering their internal energies and transcending mortality.
But why on earth would a bunch of mountain monkeys live forever?
Well, to tell that tale, you first need to know a bit about the monkey king Sun Wukong.
There are countless tales of Sun Wukong, How he was born from a stone egg and became the king of the mountain of flowers and fruit.
How he fought the Havoc Demon and stole the iron that pounded the Milky Way flat.
How he learned to change his shape and split his hairs into a thousand copies of himself and leap through the clouds in an instant.
But this is the story of how he cheated death.
Not just for himself, but for all the monkeys of his kingdom.
And it starts, as many stories about Sun Wukong do, with the handsome Monkey King, as he liked to call himself, getting into trouble.
This was just after Sun Wukong had returned from the Dragon King's domain, where he'd caused a ruckus demanding to be given weapons and armor fit for his royal status.
He'd brought back with him a precious gift, an iron staff clasped with gold that had been used to hammer the Milky Way.
It was too heavy for anyone else to even lift, but in the Monkey King's hands, it would grow to the size of a massive tree or shrink to the size of a needle so he could tuck it behind his ear for safekeeping.
Now, perhaps you or I might have been modest about such an achievement, but modesty was never one of Sun Wukong's virtues.
shoes. When he came back to the kingdom of flowers and fruit, all his monkey people rushed out to greet him, cheering and whooping and generally carrying on.
His eldest courtier clapped him on the back, making a low monkey hoot of wonder at his gear.
So, my lord, I see your trip was a success.
The monkey king preened proudly, thrusting out his chest in his new chain mail and strutting to to show off his fine new boots.
Good, right? But wait till you see the weapon that grumpy old dragon had hidden in his cellar.
He reached behind one ear and twirled his staff to the size of a pencil.
Then again till it was a full six feet of heavy iron.
The golden clasps at either end shone bright in the sun as he whirled the weapon about, and the crowd of monkeys oohed and aahed.
Wonderful, sire, the elderly advisor whooped.
but the Monkey King wasn't done yet.
Ha! Just wait and see what I can do once I transform!
With this, he focused his energy and began to grow, taller than the treetops, till his mouth was like an enormous bowl and his eyes blazed like lightning.
With one massive fist, he shook the staff and it grew taller and longer and thicker until it scraped the lowest heavens and and seemed as if it would reach down into the deepest depths.
The monkeys clapped and hooted and cheered, but as their lord grew ever taller, began to call up to him.
Sire, that's wonderful, but please come back.
You are frightening us.
And with the next breath, there was their dear monkey king, back to his normal monkey size, hopping from foot to foot with a grin so big it seemed it would split his head like a melon.
The party carried on long into the evening, And every monkey went to bed with a full belly and a happy heart, for they were a loving, playful, kind kingdom without a care in the world.
Sun Wukong found himself a nice little spot in a tree and curled up content.
But as soon as he'd slipped off to sleep, he found himself aware of a strange presence, as if someone were standing over him.
Suddenly, he felt his arms being lifted, then his legs, and without any warning, he was being carried off into the dark.
He could barely tell if he was asleep or awake, so he murmured a quiet little chant he'd learned from his master under his breath, focusing his energies and gathering his strength.
Soon, he found he could open his eyes, so he looked up to see who had carried him off.
Above him strode two masked figures, all in black, one at his legs and one at his feet.
This shocked the monkey king into action, and he leapt up, snapping his body like the jaws of a crocodile, and landing in front of his captors.
You two! How dare you lay hands on me!
Who do you think you are, snatching innocent monkeys while they sleep?
Ha! Get a load of this, sneered one.
Thinks he's special.
The other shook his head as he looked down at the little monkey.
For remember, Son Wukong could change his size at will, but had returned to the size of an everyday mountain monkey before he slept.
Listen here, you. We're constables for the ten judges of death, and your time is up.
Come along quietly so we don't have to rough you up.
At this, Son Wukong went from surprised to enraged.
He puffed out his chest and stomped his feet, thrusting an empty hand into the face of the masked assailants.
Constables? Ha, you've got no warrant and you won't even show your faces, and you clearly have no idea who I am.
I'm Sun Wukong, the handsome monkey king.
I am no longer subject to death.
I'm immortal, and you've got no jurisdiction over me.
The masked men were unimpressed and laid hands on Sun Wukong again, one grabbing his arms in a bear hug while the the other brought out a roll of tape.
Now, the Monkey King had many admirable qualities.
He was brave, playful, kind, funny, and never left a wrong unrighted.
But even the most admiring of his friends would never have claimed that he was patient.
Not too far away, as the spirit travels, two bored guards stood watch in a little guardhouse at the gate to the court of death.
It wasn't the most glorious or exciting job, despite what you might think.
Mostly, they just checked the papers of those being brought in to be judged before death by constables, stamping them with an official seal.
Occasionally, a detainee might holler a bit, but the agents of death were supernatural creatures and more than capable of keeping mortal spirits in line.
I could use a nap. up.
Yawned one, stretching a bit and adjusting his sword belt.
Tell me about it. Slow day.
They're all slow. I swear, I should have applied to guard the Jade Emperor's court.
I figured this would be a breeze, but doing it for eternity?
Too much. Suddenly, something shook the ground.
A teacup rattled on the desk where they kept the logbook, shivering in its saucer.
Whoa, well, that was new.
The guard raised his eyebrow at his colleague.
The teacup rattled again.
Okay, what's going on?
The two shared a look, then leapt to their feet as the next shutter shook the entire guardhouse.
Running out into the street, they heard screams. A huge crowd of the dead, all guided by constables, was running towards the gates.
Huh, there's something you don't see every day.
Usually they're trying to run out, not in, said one as a spirit ran past him.
Hey, you, you gotta sign the book.
His friend pulled his sleeve.
Um, hey, get back here.
Look on my arm. Can you at least help me grab a few of these guys?
The judges are gonna read us the riot act if we let any more spirits in without signing the book.
Look! His friend spun him around by the shoulders as a shadow fell over them both.
They looked up. Up past the massive legs, the enormous thighs, the mountainous chest, to the face of the creature bearing down on the court of death.
A horrific, giant monkey with a mouth full of teeth like swords, its eyes burning with an unholy fire.
In one hand, it swung a massive iron column.
From the other hand, dangling head down, swung two screaming constables.
Um, you want to ask him to sign the book?
Nope. And with that, off they ran in the general chaos.
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Son Wukong strode through the gates, taking care, despite his rage, not to smash any innocent spirits beneath his massive boots.
Judges of death, you summoned me.
Here I am, he boomed, his voice rattling every window and shaking every building.
Within moments, the city which housed the courts was empty, save for the tiny figures of the ten judges, all doing their best to look imposing and stately and ferocious.
They gathered in the courtyard, goggling at the massive monkey king who loomed over them.
The Chief Justice straightened his robe and put on his most severe expression, looking up at the massive monkey while somehow seeming to look down at him at the same time.
And who, may I ask, are you?
He sneered in his most magisterial tone.
Monkey leaned down over the courtyard, bringing one massive flaming eye level with the judge.
If you don't know who I am, then why would you send these two, here, he shook the screaming constables, to arrest me.
As his voice boomed, the windows clinked and tinkled in their frames, and his hot breath rolled over the judges in a wave. I am sure it was some sort of mistake, perhaps a clerical error of some sort.
Though he started the sentence with a bit of uncertainty, the Chief Justice had found his footing and kept going, staring unapologetically up into the fiery eyeball suspended above him.
After all, you can't run an organization of this size without some minor paperwork problems. All right, here's one for your papers.
I am the handsome monkey king, the great sage of the mountain of flowers and fruit.
And who are you? With this last word, Song Wukong shrunk himself with a pop and a rushing of air back to his normal size, leaving two very terrified constables hovering in midair for a split second before they crashed into the ground and hobbled off.
The judge felt a sudden and considerable sense of relief.
Things had finally returned to their rightful order.
He was the one who was supposed to do the looming and interrogating around here, and it was much easier to do so when a supplicant had the decency to be shorter than he was.
He adjusted his ministerial hat and bowed, not too low, of course.
I am the Chief Justice of the Ten Judges of the Emperor of Death, he pronounced in sepulchral tones.
The monkey didn't seem to appreciate the performance.
He tucked something behind his ear, then pointed an accusatory finger directly up at the Chief Judge's impressively long, imperious nose.
Okay, then. That means it's your fault that you hauled in the wrong monkey.
I'm off the rolls of mortals, so you got no business messing with me.
Hauling me in with masked guards after a party?
He stalked back and forth, eyeballing the judges one at a time.
The nerve of you! The chief justice took a moment as the monkey preened and strutted to consider his options.
He was clearly powerful, but there must be some way to put him off.
A gleam sparked in his eye and his pale lips curved into something that might almost be a smile.
Well now, there's no need for such rudeness.
Let's simply consult the paperwork, shall we?
If you're not supposed to be in the files, we'll not find you here, and we can clear this all up quickly.
He turned, aware of the dramatic swish his robes made about his lean figure because he'd practiced the move countless times in the mirror.
Come, let us consult the scrolls of the dead.
The other nine judges fell in behind their leader, and Song Wukong, still glowering, stomped along behind them.
The Chief Justice led the strange little parade past cowering guards, a hall of scribbling scribes, and through a maze of passages, until they emerged into a massive room lined with shelves.
The shelves stretched away up into darkness above, with box -like dividers in which were crammed endless scrolls.
Scrolls with jade knobs, golden knobs, wound on bones and sticks.
There, the Chief Justice gestured grandly at the endless shelves.
You'll just need to find your name.
Once we do, we can see what's fated for you and clear all this up.
On someone less imposing and considerably more common, the expression on his face would have been called a smug grin.
This little monkey would never find his file on his own.
Who knew if he could even read?
So this is where you keep all the records, huh?
Sun Wukong looked up at the endless shelves, rubbing his whiskers on his chin.
Well then, he brought his arm up and bit off some of his fur, chewed a bit, and then sprayed them out into the air.
Change, he shouted, and each of the tiny hairs became a tiny monkey, just like him, and swarmed onto the shelves, hooting and hollering and chucking down scrolls willy -nilly.
Wait, stop, stop, the Chief Justice called as the records of the dead began clattering down from the shelves, pelting the cowering justices below.
Stop, he screamed, and Sung Wook Hong held up one reddish hand, and every monkey fell still.
The chief justice ran one bloodless, long -fingered hand over his face.
I'll summon my clerks.
They'll bring the scrolls we need.
Within moments, they had all the scrolls they needed, along with a crew of dedicated clerks, all sitting in tight rows, to read through looking for Sun Wukong's name.
They first checked the animals.
Four -legged, two -legged, furry and no fur, nothing.
They were beginning to check into birds when one clerk shouted, Your Honor, I found it!
He came scrambling up to unroll a scroll in front of the Chief Justice and Sun Wukong.
There, in flowing script, was the legend.
Soul, 3 ,150. Description, stone monkey.
Parentage, product of nature.
Lifespan, 342 years.
A peaceful end. There, you see, said the chief justice, sounding relieved.
A peaceful end. You're where you ought to be.
Now, he continued, looking stern, we'll need to sort out all of the trouble you've caused.
The end of this sentence trailed off because the chief justice, prepared to deliver a tiny monkey, found himself eye to eye with a very large monkey who, instead of looking cowed or even angry, was smiling.
You found the error, all right?
Who says the courts of death are corrupt and incompetent?
Monkey snatched his scroll and a brush from one of the clerk's desks.
Now, let's set this right.
With a single brush stroke, he removed the lifespan completely, completely, waved the scroll about to dry, then rolled it up and tucked it into the shocked clerk's robe.
In fact, now we've fixed that little problem, let me see if we can make sure everything's as it should be for my little monkeys.
And as the shocked justices and clerks looked on in horror, Sun Wukong, the handsome monkey king, crossed out the lifespan of each and every monkey in each and every scroll.
And that is why some monkeys, at least the ones who were alive when the courts of death entertained a visit from the immortal monkey, never get any older.
Hooting and scampering and playing in the forests, free from death's laws.
But if you think the Monkey King got away with his shenanigans free of any consequences, you'd be dead wrong.
For the Chief Justice filed a complaint with the Jade Emperor.
But there are as many tales of the Monkey King's misdeeds as as there are of his heroism.
And both together are almost greater than the grains of sand on a beach. But those tales are for another time.
Today's story, Why Monkey Kings Live Forever, was a retelling from a translation of Journey to the West by Wu Cheng 'en, written for you by Michael Loh, who runs summer camps open right now for enrollment at luckoflegends .com, where he helps kids build their own worlds, adventure through them, and learn to write at the same time.
Sign up today for the chance to go on wild, epic adventures of your own creation and listen to our sister podcast, Stories RPG.
Head to luckoflegends .com if you'd like to hear more of what Luck of Legends camps and classes are all about.
Why Mountain Monkeys Live Forever was edited and produced for you by Andrew Martin and performed for you by me, Amanda Weldon.
If you would like to support Stories Podcast, you can leave us a five -star review on iTunes, check out all of our merch available at storiespodcast .com slash shop, commission a special video on Cameo, follow us on Instagram at storiespodcast, or simply tell your friends about us.
Thanks for listening.
