Psst. Hey there, Smarty Pants.
Trusty narrator here.
You'll never guess where I am.
I'm at the biggest awards show on the planet.
No, not the Emmys, Oscars, Grammys, or Tonys.
I'm talking about the Smarties, where we give Smarty Awards to the Smartiest Smarty Pants in all different categories.
Okay, real talk, there is no Smarty Awards yet, But there will be!
But for now, let's just go with it, okay?
Cool. And who should I see working the red carpet?
Why it's none other than the world -class reporter and commentator, Chet Nickerson.
Take it away, Chet.
Thanks, trusty narrator!
This is Chet Nickerson reporting live from outside the Smartie Awards.
As you can hear, the auditorium behind me is filling up with smarty pants, Including some celebrity smarty pants I see Smarty Eilish Dwayne the Rocket Scientist Johnson And the cast of SpongeBob Smarty Pants Wow, this imaginary award show is blowing my mind I'm going to make my way inside the auditorium
To see who I can see I see Smarty B up ahead And what's this?
Oh my gosh There's a sign on one of the seats reserved for Mr.
Pitt? Could it be brainy Brad Pitt?
I can't believe I'm finally going to meet one of my favorite actors.
Incredible. I just saw Taylor Swift thinking, but I too am a big fan of Mr.
Pitt. Wait, here comes someone.
Could it be? No, it's definitely not brainy Brad Pitt.
Oh, um, excuse me, sir.
You just sat in the seat reserved for Mr.
Pitt. Yep, that's me.
I'm Mr. Pitt. Oh, that's a coincidence.
You have the same last name.
But you see, it's reserved for the very famous Mr.
Pitt. I doubt there's any Pitt more famous than me.
Ha, I seriously doubt that.
Brainy Brad Pitt is pretty famous.
Yeah, well, everyone in the world knows me because I'm a part of them.
In fact, they have two of me.
Trusty narrator, Chip Dickerson here.
Are you talking to Mr.
Armpit? That's right.
Chet Neckerson knows what's up.
Oh, so you're an armpit.
I guess that explains the smell.
Nice to meet you too, trusty narrator.
I gotta say, you sound taller on your podcast.
Thanks. Well, I suppose an armpit might be more famous than a Brad Pitt.
But I gotta say, despite knowing you my whole life, I don't actually know much about you at all.
You're not alone. There's a lot people don't know about me.
To be honest, most people take me for granted.
It's the pits. But the truth is, I do some pretty important stuff.
So, smarty pants, what exactly do armpits do?
Why do you have them?
Why are they so hairy?
And why do they smell?
You sure that's not you?
I'm sure. It's time for a big whiff of science, history, and armpits on...
Who Smarted? Who Smarted?
Who Smarted? Is it you?
Is it me? Is it science or history?
Listen up, everyone.
We make smarting lots of fun on Who Smarted?
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Okay, smarty pants.
On the count of three, I want you to raise your hand like you're in class and want to ask a question.
It can be either hand.
Ready? One, two, three.
Is your hand raised?
Good. Now, turn your head towards your raised arm.
You should be able to stare right at your armpit.
Say hi to your armpit.
I'm guessing this is the first time you've ever spoken to your armpit, but you really should be more friendly to your armpit.
After all, your armpit does a lot for you.
But what exactly does it do?
Do you think your armpit, A oversees the regulation and filtration of lymph fluid.
B cools your body. Or C helps you attract a romantic partner.
If you said A, you're right.
But if you said B, you're also right.
Oh, and if you said C, you're right too.
Also, if your arm is still raised, you can put it back down Sorry about that, Smarty Pants Uh -oh, the Smarties is starting I have to do an opening monologue But I want to learn more about the armpit No worries, trusty narrator Chet Nickerson has you covered You go deal with the awards While I interview
my new friend Mr. Not Brad Armpit Sounds good Thanks, Chet So, Mr.
Armpit, tell me, and the Smarty Pants a little about yourself.
Certainly, I'm one of the warmest parts of your body.
I like long walks on the beach with the fresh breeze on my armpit hair, and I absolutely love...
That sounds wonderful, but I was more interested in the things you do for the human body, Mr.
Armpit. Oh, right, right.
Well, one of my biggest functions is to be the home to more than 20 lymph nodes.
Nymph nodes? You mean like those fantasy creatures that live in the woods?
No, that's a nymph.
I'm home to lymph nodes.
L -Y -M -P -H. Lymph is a colorless fluid containing white blood cells, which basically gives the tissues in your body a bath.
Lymph transports oxygen, hormones, and nutrients throughout your body while removing metabolic waste from cells.
Ah, much more useful than woodland fairies.
Yes. The lymph drains through the lymphatic system into your bloodstream.
There are different lymph nodes all over your body, including in your neck, chest, pelvis, groin, and the back of your abdomen.
In particular, the axillary lymph nodes are located inside me, your armpit.
I see. And what do the axillary lymph nodes do?
The axillary lymph nodes are like the system manager overseeing the regulation and filtration of all the lymph throughout your upper limbs and back.
Fascinating! Who knew you had such a big job to do?
That's not all, Chet.
I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve.
Get it? Tricks up my sleeve?
Because I'm an armpit?
I'm guessing you're not here for a comedy award.
Oh, yeah? I think these armpit farts might change your mind.
Ha ha ha ha! Wonderful!
Those are never not funny!
Okay, I'm back. What did I miss?
I see. And here. Well, at least they don't smell.
You want me to cool it?
No, no, please! Just a few more!
Actually, I meant, do you want me to cool down your body?
You can do that? I sure can.
How? See those big, round stains on your shirt under your arms?
Uh, no. Really? I can see them.
They're like the size of volleyballs.
Okay, fine. I have some sweaty pit stains.
Everyone gets them.
Exactly. Those big, round, sweaty pit stains are thanks to me.
Gee, thanks a lot. You're very welcome.
I was being sarcastic.
Well, you shouldn't be.
Those sweaty pits are helping you.
Yeah, helping me be embarrassed.
I think you'd be more embarrassed if you overheated and were unable to walk, stand, or function correctly.
You see, when your body warms up due to physical activity or, say, being nervous to interview a famous celebrity like me, ahem, your armpits release sweat.
Sweating is your body's way of cooling you down.
And a lot of that sweat is produced in your armpit.
Why the armpit? Because your armpit has a high concentration of two types of sweat glands, eccrine and apricrine.
Eccrine glands are more abundant or plentiful throughout your body and produce an odorless liquid that aids in temperature control.
Apricrine glands, found in areas with more hair follicles, like your armpits or scalp, emit a thicker liquid, When the fluid mixes with the bacteria on the surface of your armpit, you get...
What? What do you get?
I'll give you a hint.
Did you say body odor?
Good job. The kind of odor you produce is dependent on many things, including what you ate, drank, or any medication you may take.
And those yellowish pit stains on your shirt, trusty narrator?
Don't blame your diet or sweat.
The yellowing is actually caused by a chemical reaction between your sweat and the aluminum in your deodorant.
Gotcha, but let's be clear.
I'm not nervous talking to you.
Sure, trusty, sure.
Well, I must say, you sure do a lot more than I thought you did, Mr.
Armpit. But wait, there's more.
More armpit farts? Come on, smarty pants, do some with me.
Just cup your arm over your armpit and wave your arm up and down like a chicken wing.
Here we go. It's never not funny.
Trusty narrator, you've got to try this.
I'm good. I'm curious what else armpits can do.
Yes, me too. I probably helped you meet your romantic partner.
I'm not so sure about that.
My wife thinks armpit farts are silly.
No, not like that. Believe it or not, it has to do with smell.
Smell? Hmm, how can a smelly armpit help someone meet a romantic partner?
The answer, right after this quick break.
Hi guys, it's Trusty.
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Now back to Who Smarted.
Smarty Pants, if you've ever seen an adult's armpit, you probably noticed some...
What? Did you say hair?
That's right. Both adult men and women will have hairy armpits, unless they shave it off.
So does armpit hair begin to grow sooner for men or women?
If you said men, I'm sorry, you're wrong.
Armpit hair usually begins to grow on women between 10 and 12, and on men between 11 and 14.
Obviously, everyone is different and some people start sooner or later than others.
It mostly has to do with genetics and when you enter puberty.
The big question is, why do we grow hair there at all?
For one thing, it helps prevent skin -to -skin contact.
For another, it helps you sweat more, which is good for regulating your body temperature.
But there's also a crazy biological reason for having armpit hair.
Which is? The odor you release from your armpit may help you attract someone to you.
That's crazy. Nobody wants to smell my stinky armpits.
You'd be surprised.
Many scientists believe the odors you release contain pheromones, or natural chemicals, that attract other humans to you.
These pheromones are released from many different areas of your body, including armpits, back sweat, and earwax.
But men's armpits are particularly potent.
In studies, people, especially women, smelling odor from men's armpits reported feeling less tense and more relaxed.
Who knows? This may have helped Chet meet his wife.
It definitely wasn't this.
Probably not. Ooh, they're about to give out the lifetime achievement award.
It's probably going to me for all the help I've been giving humans for so long.
No offense, but I'm pretty sure the award would go to grainy Brad Pitt before an armpit.
If you say so. Look, on stage, Brad Pitt is giving out an award.
And the winner is the armpit.
I don't believe it.
I do. Armpits are awesome.
Thanks, Jet. There's just one problem.
I didn't write a speech.
Uh -oh. What are you going to do?
I'll just wing it. Yes!
A double shout -out to Smarty fans Kacen and Holden in Sublette, Kansas.
You wrote to tell us how you love smarting with us in the car, with your mom, and love learning new facts and quizzing your dad.
You even sing along with a theme song.
Wow, this is all just music to my ears, Smarty Pants.
This episode, Armpits, was written by James Butler.
and voiced by Taya Garland, Adam Tex Davis, and Jerry Kolber.
Technical direction and sound design by Josh Hahn.
Who Smarted is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios.
Our associate producer is Max Kamaski.
The theme song is by Brian Suarez with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis.
Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Kolber.
This has been an Atomic Entertainment production.
Who Smarted?
