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You sprain a muscle, you go see a doctor.
But taking care of your mental health?
You get wait lists, high costs.
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Two people claim to know everything about something, but only one knows anything.
President Roosevelt wore an anti-gravity belt, dinosaurs had two brains.
Lucky kids live on Mars and go to school in flying cars, Or at least they will one day Believe me.
I'm a historian, An astronaut or driver.
DeLorean, Would I lie.
It's hard to say The Big Fish!
Can you spot the light?
The Big Fish!
Some pigs can fly.
The Big Fish!
But if you ask me why, can you trust the answer?
Ah, the Big Fish!
From Graphite, North Carolina, this is The Big Fib.
And now here's your host, Debra Goldstein.
Welcome to The Big Fib, the game show where kids choose between the sharp and soluble penicillus of truth and the dull and mechanical stubs of lies.
I'm your host, Debra Goldstein, and in the studio today is our sound effects robot Lisa, whose name is an acronym that stands for Live In Studio Audience.
Hey, Debra, can you just sign this agreement, please?
Here's a pen.
What is this, Lisa?
Oh, I just need the rights to your image for the line of Big Phib Chia Pets I'm selling for the low, low price of 3995.
Chia Pet?
You mean those clay pots that look like people's faces and you cover the tops of them with seeds so they grow like leafy hair.
Is that what you mean?
Yeah, you know them.
You should see the Lisa Chia Pet.
He looks just like me.
Very handsome, except with lots of green hair.
So if you could just sign here, that would be great.
Okay, I'm not sure I want my face on a Chia Pet.
Don't worry, Debra.
I was prepared for this.
I'm going to give you 2% of the profits.
Um, only 2%?
Don't you think that I should get a higher percentage for the chia pets that look like me?
Oh, okay.
Twist my arm.
I'm prepared to give you 2.173564%.
You drive a hard bargain.
Okay, how about we talk about this later, after I've been able to take a look at this agreement and maybe take a look at the Lisa Chia Pet too?
Okay, but don't wait too long.
I already have 26 Deborah Goldstein Chia Pet pre-orders.
Um, I hope you haven't taken anyone's money yet.
Well, I hope you don't hope that.
Uh, hey, would you look at that?
I've got a listener question.
Okay, well, I guess we should hear it and deal with the Chia Pets later.
Exactly.
And play.
This one's for Lisa and Debra.
I was wondering if Lisa's ever going to have robot kids and if Debra has kids too.
Oh, Robot Kids.
You know, I never really thought about it.
But now that you mention it, I could really use some help around the house.
I took a car motor apart in my living room to see if I could figure out why it was making a clanking sound.
And now I can't figure out how to put it back together.
I'd also really like my robot kids to serve me breakfast in bed and do my laundry and clean my bathroom.
So yeah, I think I could really get me some robot kids.
Um, I don't know how it is in the robot world Lisa, but we humans don't have kids just to put them to work around the house and serve us.
You don't?
Then why do you have human kids?
Well, I'm sure people would have different answers to that question, but I had human kids because I wanted to expand my family so that we could all love each other and make memories together, and
Oh, God.
You had kids just for some company?
Kids who you have to feed and clothe and drive around places all the time and listen to them, talk and talk and talk and only get the expert like 50 of the time.
And then you just watch them grow up?
Uh, no thanks.
Okay, well, it's not as simple as that, but it is certainly not to put them to work.
Sounds like a missed opportunity to me, Debra.
OK, well, robot kids are probably capable of doing a lot more as soon as they're manufactured.
You know, human kids need adults to take care of them for quite a while before they can take care of themselves.
I am so glad I don't have to take care of human kids.
They're probably glad that you're not taking care of them, too.
Let's call it a win-win.
Now, where do I go and win me some robot kids?
Okay well, I'm not sure I can help you with that one right now, but we can look into some robot manufacturing companies after the show.
In the meantime, can you please tell all the robot kids and human kids out there how our game works?
You know, if I had my robot kids now, I'd have them tell everyone.
But until I go home and get some, I guess I'll do it.
Thank you.
Every week, we bring on two grownups.
One is an expert.
The other is a liar.
And it's the job of a human child, who apparently people have just to watch them grow up, to help us figure out who is who.
Because no one can spot a liar better than a kid.
At least we hope.
What are we lying about today?
Debra.
We are lying about pencils, tools for writing and drawing.
And we're going to learn all about pencils along with our contestant today.
Who might that be, Lisa?
Our human child contestant is an 11-year-old who has a standard poodle named Nebula.
Mordecai Cruiser!
Welcome, Mordecai.
Hi.
How are you?
Good.
Excellent.
Tell us about your standard poodle, Nebula.
Tell us some interesting facts.
Who named Nebula?
So basically our entire family.
She is a black standard poodle and we named her after, like a nebula, the black explosion in space, the stars.
Whoa.
So you're sort of into space.
That is cool.
What is something cool about Nebula?
Does she know tricks?
Is she really smart?
Tell us something.
Yeah, she's pretty smart.
Like she knows like a lot of stuff when we are like, oh, let's go on a walk or something.
She's like and instantly like this knows where we're going or whatever.
So she understands what you're saying.
She also seems like she wants to be a human.
Like she wants to be a human.
That's sweet.
Oh, I got to talk to her.
That's a terrible idea.
Don't be a human.
What?
No?
Oh, no.
Robots are great.
Be a robot.
Nebula?
Hey, Nebula.
Nabila, come here, baby.
You want to be a robot, Nabila?
Yeah, you're so sweet.
I don't know about that.
But she sounds like a lovely, lovely pet.
Very cool.
Well, we want to learn some more about you Mordecai, and we're going to discover some more fun facts by playing two truths and a lie.
So Mordecai is going to tell us two truths and one lie, but we will not know which is which.
We'll have to use a combination of logic and to sort fact from fiction.
Mordecai, in no particular order, please tell us your two truths and one lie.
My birthday is on July 20th.
I've been to Canada, and I have one cat.
Okay.
Interesting, because they're very different, which makes them difficult to compare.
And Mordecai said them with a lot of confidence, each one.
So what do you think, Lisa?
I'm at a bit of a disadvantage because I don't know which are true and which are false.
So it might be easier if Mordecai clarifies that and then I could tell you the answer.
No, no, no.
That's not the point of the game.
No, no, no.
We have to guess which one.
Okay.
I'm just, I want to let it known that I'm at a disadvantage here.
Okay.
He says his birthday is July 20th, yes?
Yes, that's what he says.
Very interesting.
Because I happen to know that's National I Only Have One Cat Day.
But he says he's been to Canada and I know Canada is where cats come from.
And I know, when someone wants a cat they have to go to Canada and they have to harvest them from the Canadian cat farms.
Oh, no.
So they're all a little suspect, but I'm going to go with the most obvious answer, that his birthday is January 3rd.
Oh, okay.
Let's see if any of that is true.
Mordecai, which of those is actually a lie?
The lie is my birthday is on July 20th.
Oh, so Lisa was correct.
But when is your birthday?
My birthday is June 7th.
June 7th.
So you got the wrong birthday, Lisa.
But you did.
Yeah, but did you hear the J?
J in June, J in January.
And also there's an N, so I'm basically right.
And I was right.
And I was right.
And the third time, I'm also right.
Bye.
Lisa, you said my birthday was on January 23rd, I think.
And I said July was July 20th.
Yes, that's right.
So just wrong, Lisa.
Just wrong.
No, I identified the correct lie.
I win.
Just, you know what?
Just own it.
I got the right lie.
That's true.
I will write to the committee.
Okay, no need.
All right, but that does mean that you have been to Canada.
Is that right?
Yes, I have.
Very good.
And was that a vacation?
Well, kind of.
I went to North Dakota, where part of my family lives, and then my mom and dad flew in a plane up there and we went to Canada to go to some hot springs, and then me and my family flew back to Texas.
Nice.
Sounds like a great trip.
And you have one cat.
What is your cat's name?
Freya.
Freya.
So not a space thing there.
But hey, Freya.
We all say hello.
I think we're ready to find out some facts and listen for some fibs about pencils.
So Mordecai, do you know much about pencils?
Yeah, I learned some stuff while I was looking for things about pencils.
Okay, very good.
Okay, so you have a few facts maybe that you're going to refer to.
I like that.
Do you use pencils?
Do you like to draw or write with pencils?
Yeah.
You do.
Excellent.
So a little knowledge firsthand.
Any strategies that you have today?
Are you going to be listening for anything, in particular, when you're trying to figure out who our fibber is?
No, not really.
I'm just going to try to see if it sounds like it's fake or not.
Good plan.
I like that plan.
All right, well, let's bring on our experts.
Lisa, can we get some welcome music for our pencil experts?
Oh, window experts, you're not welcome.
Because this isn't an episode about window sills.
It's an episode about pencils.
Okay, I was wondering where you were going with the windows.
I was too.
Come on in!
Very good.
Okay, our first expert is Holly Whetstone.
Holly, please introduce yourself to Mordecai.
Hi, Mordecai.
My name is Holly Whetstone and I am head of buying for the drawing and illustration department at the Blick Art Supplies.
Thank you very much.
Let's meet our second expert, Scott Johnson.
Please introduce yourself to Mordecai.
Hello, Mordecai.
I'm Scott Johnson and I make pencils in Tennessee.
Thank you very much.
Drop it like it's hot.
Tell us about those stylish sounds you're spinning, Lisa.
I'm styling the sounds of hot seat time.
Yes, it is hot seat time.
And that's when we put our experts on the hot seat while they answer Mordecai's questions.
Lisa, whom should we put on the hot seat first?
Well, I'm picking Scott Johnson, because the other person is named Wetstone and I once slipped on a wet stone.
They're dangerous.
She should dry her stone.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry to hear about that.
I'm very sorry, but hopefully you can shake that off for the rest of the show.
Okay, very good.
Mordecai, what is your first question for Scott?
What do you like about your job, Scott?
Well Mordecai, my job is so interesting because I deal with sourcing supplies to make pencils from all over the world.
I work with different customers who have all kinds of different custom requirements for different kinds of pencils, which makes it really interesting to see what creations might come up next.
And I really love how I have no idea where our pencils will wind up in the hands of somebody to use them later.
And I love, of course, working with the people because we have a great company of folks here.
Fantastic.
Thank you.
Mordecai, do you want to ask Holly the same question or do you want to move on?
I'll ask Holly the same question.
Oh, I'm so glad you asked that because I love my job.
I have always loved art supplies.
I was one of those kids that had stickers and yarn and pom poms and all the things.
And now I get to do that for a living.
So I get to buy new art products and see what's selling and try things out at home.
I have to say I have a pretty awesome home because there's always something fun to do crafting.
Nice.
Back to you, Mordecai.
This question is for Scott.
I learned that International Pencil Day is March 30th.
How do you celebrate?
That's a great question.
Well, we throw a party and we actually get a cake in the shape of a pencil that we share with all of our folks.
And then, of course, we celebrate through our media postings as a company as well.
Wow, fun.
That's cool.
What flavor is the cake?
It's chocolate, of course, just like the graphite.
Oh, very nice.
Okay, Mordecai, back to you.
This question is for Holly Whetstone.
What is your favorite type of pencil?
Ooh, there are so many pencils I love.
I will say...
I think I would go with the yellow number two.
I like the good old-fashioned... Yeah, I'm going to go with yellow number two.
Okay, thank you very much.
Scott, what is something most people get wrong about pencils?
That's a great question.
I'm going to say two, because people often don't know the hardness scale of the graphite in the pencil and where that comes from and what it means.
And I think a lot of people really don't know how pencils are made and how we actually get the graphite inside the pencil.
Cool.
Follow-up question.
How does the graphite get into the pencil?
Mordecai, do you like sandwiches?
Sandwiches?
Yes, I do.
Excellent.
Well, we make pencils with a pencil sandwich.
So we take a block of wood, 73 millimeters wide, five millimeters thick, and 184 millimeters long.
And if it's a round or hex pencil, we cut nine grooves into the pencil the exact diameter of the lead that's going in the pencil and we put it down with glue.
Then we take another, what I'll call mirror image board that has the same grooves in it more glue.
We put it together, we make the sandwich and then we let it dry.
Then we shape the pencils out of that sandwich using saw blades that are the exact profile of the pencil that we're making.
I don't want to be judgy here, but that sounds like a delicious sandwich.
It's outstanding.
If you like glue and wood, it tastes really good.
Oh, Debra, get me a glue and wood sandwich.
That would be lovely today.
I'll get right on that.
Okay, thank you, Mordecai.
Next question, please.
Holly, why are pencils the best writing tool?
So many reasons.
They're the original writing utensil.
They're also so much better for the earth, which I love to point out.
And they feel better in your hand.
I mean, you can erase with them.
You can feel the pressure of them.
I have so many people who come in and just think that there's one kind of pencil.
And when you look at how many different colors and shapes and sizes.
There's just so much to love about pencils.
Lovely answer.
Thank you very much.
Excellent questions, Mordecai.
Hopefully you got some good information in the answers there.
To listen without ads, go to gzmshowscom slash subscribe.
History snacks.
Hey podcast listeners, i'm kenny curtis, the host of greeking out and now also the host of history snacks, a kid's podcast where we tell bite-sized stories from history about things like riots in ancient byzantium, cursed objects, ancient dinosaur hunters, missing explorers, epic royal rivalries and the fall of rome.
Season one is out now, so check it out wherever you get your podcasts.
It's time for the shorts on fire round when our experts have to answer as many questions as they can before time runs out.
Lisa will set a timer for the first expert and then Mordecai will ask questions until Lisa's timer sounds.
Then Lisa resets the timer for our next expert to do the same.
Experts, think fast and get the lead out.
Mordecai, let's start with Holly.
You can ask your shorts on fire questions now.
Go.
Name two different wood-cased pencils, types or shapes.
Hex and round.
What do you call the metal ring that holds the eraser?
A ferrule.
Name three types of wood you can use to make pencils.
Cedar, pine, and ash.
In the animated show called Rock Paper Scissors.
What is the name of the super smart friend who has a pencil?
Oh, I've never seen that show.
Sorry.
Who invented the modern pencil that we use today?
Conrad Bergstrom.
Which pencil is wide and flat so it won't roll away?
That would be the leveling pencil.
Factor fib.
Graphite must be dyed in a process called polychromatic dye bonding to make colored pencils.
I'm going to say fact.
What are the two things we look at to figure out the hardness of the pencil lead?
The graphite and I believe clay.
How many words can a single pencil write?
About 45,000.
And that is time.
That's all the time.
Lisa, can you reset the timer for us, please?
Who, me?
I thought you'd never ask.
I did it.
Thank you.
All right.
Mordecai, you can now ask Scott your shorts on fire questions now.
How many processes are there in making a single wood-cased pencil?
Over 100.
Before graphite was used in pencils, what did people do with it in the 1500s?
They marked sheep.
Which is the most commonly used pencil in classrooms?
What was added to the rubber to make erasers pink?
How many pencils does the United States import from other countries every year?
$3.2 billion.
Which city is known as the pencil city because of the many pencil companies that started there?
Shelbyville, Tennessee.
Fact or fib?
The softer the pencil lead, the darker the line.
Fact.
What kind of tests require you to use a number two pencil to fill in circles?
Computerized electrostatic scoring tests.
Who invented the pencil skirt in the 1950s?
Pass.
Deborah Goldstein.
And that is time.
Very good.
Really well read, Mordecai, by the way.
Excellent job.
Excellent job, everyone.
It's decision time, Mordecai.
Mordecai had to stay sharp to listen for fibs.
Mordecai, who is our pencil fibber?
I think that it is Scott because I heard a few lies.
I think that Scott is the liar.
Okay.
Will the actual pencil expert please say, I am the pencil expert.
I am the pencil expert.
Oh!
Oh, no, but that is true.
Scott Johnson is the president of Musgrave Pencil Company, located in the heart of the Pencil City in Shelbyville Tennessee, where they love to imagine how every pencil that's made will share someone's journey in writing.
Design art, music or other creative pursuits.
Pencil fights.
No, you can find them at mustscravepencil.com.
Go check it out.
Very good.
So in fact, Shelbyville is the pencil city.
We're going to find out what actually is true and what were fibs in our fact-checking round.
And let's help Mordecai get to the bottom of some of these statements here.
So Scott, what did Holly tell us that was sketchy I like the term.
So a couple of things.
There are two people who are credited with inventing the pencil.
She got the first name right, Conrad, but it's actually Conrad Gessner.
Oh.
And also a Frenchman by the name of Nicolas Jacques Conte.
So I don't know if my French pronunciation is going well today, but that was my best attempt at that.
Yeah, I couldn't say it, so I made up a name.
Well done.
Well done.
Nicolas Jacques Conte is how you say it.
Whoa.
Amazing.
Beautiful.
I also heard Holly talk about dyeing the graphite lead to make colored pencils.
Right.
And colored pencil cores are actually made out of wax and pigments.
So not graphite like a normal pencil.
Oh, so not a graphite at all.
Made out of wax and pickles.
No, not pickles.
Any others?
This is maybe debatable.
She talked about the flat pencil being a leveling pencil.
We know it in the industry as a carpenter pencil, but it is long and flat so that tradesmen can be sure that it doesn't roll away.
Makes sense.
Very good.
Okay.
Well, Holly, here's your opportunity here.
How did you pencil whip your answers?
Scott is actually such a great expert that he got all three of my biggest lies.
I
I think I said three types of wood you can use to make pencils, and I included ash, which is not true.
And let's see you passed on the animated show called Rock Paper Scissors.
Question which we asked what is the name of the super smart friend who has a pencil?
And her name is Pencil.
Pencil.
That's it.
So there you go.
And for Scott's benefit.
The person who invented the pencil skirt in the 1950s was Christian Dior.
In 1954 in his H-Line collection,
Wow.
So a random fact that is helpful to know.
Yes, very good.
But it's true, Scott, that before we used graphite for pencils, we marked sheep with it.
That is true.
Graphite was discovered in England in the 1500s.
And yes, it was used to mark sheep for being used for pencils.
Fascinating.
That is fascinating.
Mordecai, did you have any questions?
Because you said you thought that some of the things Scott said might be incorrect.
Did we answer all of that for you or did you have another question?
I mean, no, not anything specific.
I just, a lot of the stuff I didn't really know whether it was true or not.
I knew the pencil sandwich thing was true, but then I guess maybe I forgot which one of them said that, but yeah,
It was an honest mistake that was very tough.
You did a really good job, truly.
I would have been fooled for sure.
So, all right, everyone.
Pencils down.
We've run out of time.
Thank you to Mordecai, who made it a point to find those fibs.
And thank you to our expert and liar, Scott and Holly.
And thanks to Lisa, our mechanical master of sound.
And, of course, many thanks to our listeners tuning into The Big Fib, where fibbers are nothing more than pencil pushers of prevarications.
And the truth is always right on.
The Big Fib is a production of Gen Z Media.
For more great shows, visit gzmshows.com.
While you're there, you can find out how you can become a contestant on The Big Fib or send questions for me to answer on the show.
And...
Follow us on social media, the Big Fib Podcast, for behind-the-scenes photos and more true facts.
And ding-dong, what's that?
Oh, my gosh, my pencil sandwich arrived.
Thank you, Debra.
I'm going to dip this in whiteout.
Delicious.
Find your next adventure at gcmshows.com.
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