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Two people claim to know everything about something, but only one knows anything.
President Roosevelt wore an anti-gravity belt.
Dinosaurs had two brains.
Lucky kids live on Mars and go to school in flying cars.
Or at least they will one day.
Believe me, I'm a historian.
An astronaut or driver, DeLorean.
Would I lie?
It's hard to say.
Can you spot the light?
Some pigs can fly But if you ask me why Can you trust the answer?
From Parchment, Michigan, this is The Big Fib.
And now, here's your host, Deborah Goldstein.
Welcome to The Big Fib, the game show where kids choose between the glossy and renewable construction of truth and the perforated scraps of crumpled lies.
I'm your host, Debra Goldstein, and in the studio today is our sound effects robot Lisa, whose name is an acronym that stands for Live In Studio Audience.
Can you pick up the pace a bit, Debra?
I have an appointment this afternoon, and I can't be late.
I've been on this waiting list for months.
Ooh, are you seeing a doctor?
Is everything okay?
Everything is fine.
Sheesh, I'm just going to get a cup holder installed in my side panel here.
Newer sound effects robots all come equipped with cup holders, because of course they do.
What robot doesn't need cup holders for their llama smoothies?
Oh, yeah, I totally get it.
It's like when I get a skirt and it actually has pockets.
It's a game changer.
You put llama smoothies in your pockets?
That sounds messy.
Okay no no, but we all appreciate having pockets, you know, to hold our wallets or keys, or tissues.
Okay, so then where do you put your llama smoothies?
I think we just have different storage needs.
Needs?
I almost forgot that I need to answer a listener question.
We have to keep this moving so I can make my appointment.
So let's go, Debra.
Okay, okay.
Go ahead and play it.
On it.
Hi, Lisa.
Hi, Debra.
I would like to know Lisa, if you like to make balloon animals and, if so, what's your favorite balloon animal?
I love your guys' podcast.
I listen to about five per night.
I love it.
Wow, five episodes every night.
Well, thank you for making us a part of your evenings.
So, Lisa, do you know how to make balloon animals?
Balloon animals.
Balloon animals.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like to make them.
Let's see.
I'm going to make my favorite balloon animal a T-Rex because, you know, dinosaurs are just animals.
That's interesting.
I didn't know that you could make balloon animals.
Oh, sure.
I'll just blow up some balloons here and... Wow, that's quite a lot of balloons.
Well, a T-Rex is a big animal.
Okay, now I'll just twist and... Okay, and another one goes here.
All right, and then... Okay, let's see.
And let's not forget the little arms over here.
And let's... Okay, and then... Aw, rats!
Oh, no!
Doesn't look like you have enough balloons to make a T-Rex now.
Um, well, I've got this one long balloon.
I... Did I say T-Rex?
Ha!
That's not my favorite balloon animal.
I mean, dinosaurs aren't even animals, right?
No, it's a snake.
Look at that.
A beautiful snake.
Here you go.
Oh, this one long balloon here?
That's a snake?
I know.
My talents are exceptional.
Thank you.
Okay, that's one way to describe your talents.
Thank you.
Okay, well, I know that you have another talent, which is telling everyone how our game works.
Yeah, sure, but it's not nearly as impressive as my balloon animals.
Okay, well, let's hear it anyway.
Suit yourself.
Every week we bring on two grown-ups.
One is an expert, the other is a liar.
And it's the job of a human child to help us figure out who is who, because no one can spot a liar better than a kid.
At least we hope.
What are we lying about today, Deborah Goldstein?
Phew, well, we are lying about paper.
Material typically made from plant fibers and used for writing, drawing, wrapping, and other crafts.
And we're going to learn all about paper along with our contestant today.
Who might that be, Lisa?
Our human child contestant is an 11-year-old who loves cows and naked mole rats, Elia Mueller.
Hi.
Hi, Elia.
So, okay, naked mole rats.
Put clothes on them, Debra.
What do you love about naked mole rats?
I kind of like that they're kind of like awkward, kind of like me.
Oh, what makes them awkward?
Just because they're not wearing any clothes?
I guess.
Have you ever seen a naked mole rat in real life?
Yes.
You have?
Where?
At the zoo.
Oh, got it.
At the zoo.
If you're running a zoo, give your mole rats clothes.
It's the least you can do.
Yeah, they must get a little chilly.
Okay, and then also cows are in the same category, both of those animals.
Do you like cows because they're awkward too?
No, I like cows probably because they're kind of derpy and they're really cute.
They're derpy cute.
They are derpy, cute, fantastic.
I must remember to use that word more often.
And how did you come to love cows?
We like to watch this one person on social media and she has cows and dogs everywhere.
We grew to love her because she has huskies and I like huskies and we have a husky.
But then she started making content about cows and I just love cows now.
Very cute animals.
Maybe you can get a cow.
Maybe, but probably better to get a naked mole rat.
They wouldn't take up as much space, I would imagine.
Wow, fantastic.
Well, we do want to get to know you a little bit better Ilya, and we're going to do it playing two truths and a lie.
So Ilya is going to tell us two truths and one lie, but we will not know which is which.
We will have to rely on the facts we already know and listen for clues to catch Ilya's fib.
So, Ilya, in no particular order, please tell us your two truths and one lie.
I have three sisters.
I have nine animals at my house right now.
And I have a small business called Grace.
Wow.
Nine animals.
Well, she likes lots of animals.
So maybe that is true, but maybe that's a trap.
What do you think, Lisa?
Yeah.
Very interesting.
I see what she's done here.
Well, if she did have a small business called Grace, she would definitely want to mention on the podcast to attract customers.
And she would want me to do a commercial for her that was like...
Oh, Grace, it's a small business.
I'm not sure what it does, but you should buy services or products or other stuff from us.
So that one's probably true.
Three sisters and nine animals.
Well, humans are animals, and she's one human.
And if she had three sisters, that would be four humans.
She said she has a dog.
That would be five animals.
Yeah, then you can imagine that she has at least one to three mole rats that may be naked, or maybe they're wearing swim clothes or something in between, you know.
So I'm going to say that she doesn't have three sisters.
You are correct.
Oh, I was correct.
Stop trying to bring me down, Debra.
So wait a minute.
You don't have three sisters.
That's what you're saying?
Do you have any sisters?
I have two sisters and one brother.
And one brother.
Tricky.
But that does mean that you do have nine animals in your house right now.
What are they?
So I have seven cats.
Most of them are foster cats.
And then I have two of my own dogs.
So the foster cats, does that mean that you will be giving them away at some point?
They just got their surgery, so hopefully they'll be up for adoption soon.
Oh, sweet.
That's very sweet, but it's a lot of animals in the house.
And the cats and the dogs, do they get along?
Most of the times.
One of my dogs is kind of crazy, so we'll really make my cat mad and then my cat will hiss and then it's a whole thing.
It's a whole thing, yeah.
They need to learn to get along.
Why can't they just get along, right?
But it also means that you do have a small business called Grace.
Tell us about your small business.
So I sell earrings and pins and keychains.
And it's made of like beads that I melt together.
And it's kind of a long process, but it's worth it.
Yeah, I bet they're beautiful.
And where does the name Grace come from?
Grace is my middle name.
Oh, very sweet.
And so now you also have a recording of Lisa promoting your business, which I'm sure, is exactly the kind of tune that you were looking for.
Lisa, did you want to redo that based on her information?
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, we sell jewelry That's made out of melted beads, Which is a very long process to do, But we assure you that it's worth it.
Oh, and we're named for her middle name, Bye.
Excellent.
Well, that was wonderful.
Good luck in your business.
For those of you who are just meeting Ilya look out for her company, where you can buy beautiful, beautiful jewelry.
And speaking of beautiful things, we are going to learn some beautiful facts about paper.
Ilya, do you know much about paper?
Do you use it often in your daily life?
Yeah.
Yeah, you do?
Very good.
To write on or do you do other things with paper?
Sometimes I like to do, like, origami.
Oh, the folding, right?
The folding paper.
Okay, she has a lot of experience with paper.
Good.
Hopefully that will help you as we look for our paper fibber.
And speaking of, Lisa, can you please play us some welcome music for our paper experts?
Watch out.
Be careful.
They're carrying paper.
It could cut you in an annoying way.
And you will say, how did I get cut in such a painful way from paper?
Yeah.
Wow.
One of your best, I have to say.
Okay.
Our first expert is Bob Hinkle.
Bob, please introduce yourself to Ilya.
Hi, Ilya.
My name is Bob Hinkle.
I'm the vice president of strategic communications at American Forest and Paper Association.
Thank you very much.
Our next expert is Donna Koretsky.
Donna, please introduce yourself to Ilya.
Hi, Ilya.
My name is Donna Koretsky, and I am a hand paper maker.
Oh, interesting.
I really hope she makes hands out of paper.
Drop it like it's hot.
Tell us about that music you're shredding, Lisa.
I'm shredding the scraps of hot seat time.
That is correct.
It is hot seat time.
And that's when we put our experts on the hot seat while they answer Ilya's questions.
Lisa, whom should we put on the hot seat first?
Well, Bob Hinkle, obviously, because they based that famous song on him.
What song was that?
Hinkle, Hinkle, little star.
You know that song, right?
He is on a paper roll.
Okay, very good.
All right, Ilya, what is your first question for Bob?
What do you do for your job?
Well Ilya, I'm in charge of communicating and distributing our paper products to stores and businesses.
I'm often on the phone or sending out emails or I'm out on a work call.
So I'm not just stuck in the office the whole time.
Very nice.
Donna, can you answer the same question?
Yes.
A typical day would be I get various orders for handmade paper from different artists, individuals.
So I'll figure out what kind of paper I'm going to make that day.
I make the pulp and then I make the sheets individually.
Each sheet is made one by one on a mold and decal.
I could be making note paper and envelopes for someone.
I could be making wedding invitations, baby announcements, paper for artists.
I enjoy it because it's always something different that I do, different types of paper that I make.
Excellent.
Back to you, Ilya.
For both of you.
What was the most unusual or interesting thing that has happened to you at your job?
Okay, who wants to take that first?
I can go first.
That's all right.
Every week at my job, we actually have a fun Friday, as we call it.
Just for fun, we use paper airplane notes to communicate instead of email.
Sometimes it can be really slow at the office, so we have a little fun.
Wow.
I hope everyone has good aim.
Yeah, you got to wear goggles.
Right, exactly.
Donna, what was the most unusual or interesting thing that has happened to you at your job?
Well, it's always unusual and interesting, but one of the sort of oddest things was I was asked to replicate newsprint.
So you may know that newsprint is highly acidic and it falls apart or yellows and falls apart easily after a period of time.
And a certain artist said was doing his drawings on newsprint and the gallery that represented him didn't want him to be using that kind of paper.
So they asked me to make handmade paper that looks like newsprint.
So meaning it was really going to be high quality.
It wasn't going to fall apart.
And it was a challenge because to make great paper, you use a lot of different colors.
And anyway, it was successful.
Well done.
Ilya, back to you.
Do you have a role model or who do you look up to?
Deborah Goldstein.
They're all going to say Deborah.
She's great.
I should hope so.
My Uncle Barry, was actually the manager at my company years ago and he actually trained and recruited me and had me move up to my possession of vice president.
So shout out to Uncle Barry.
Very nice.
Back to you, Ilya.
Donna, what first made you interested in paper?
Well, when I was young, I was always interested in art and crafts and, in particular, making things out of clay.
And then I just wondered how paper was made.
And I kept asking people and...
Everyone said, oh, it's really hard.
And finally I went to the library and got a book out on paper making and realized it's not hard at all.
It's really easy.
Of course, you get involved in anything and there's difficult aspects to it.
But once I started to make paper I was just hooked, because there's like so many different fibers that you can use, so many effects you can get that you can't get with commercial paper.
Nice.
For both of you, what's your favorite kind of paper and why?
Oh, nice one.
My favorite kind of paper is cardstock because it's thicker, sturdy, and it's great for folding.
And just like you Ilya, when I was yours, I was really into origami and, of course, paper airplanes.
So I'm a big fan of cardstock.
Okay.
My favorite type of paper, of course, I can make any kind of paper at all.
But what I love is making paper that's highly translucent.
So when you hold it up to the light, light shines through it.
And that's achieved by beating the pulp, whatever it is, for a really long time.
And also, I do make paper for origami, too.
An interesting project I did was two-sided paper.
So it was black on one side, white on the other side.
And the origami artist made penguins out of them.
Oh, cute.
My favorite kind of paper is that little piece of paper that they put in between slices of cheese.
And the reason I like it is because I get to eat cheese.
But not the paper.
Oh, yes.
I eat the paper and then the cheese.
Also, I see.
Yeah, that's how robots do it.
Delicious.
Very good.
Ilya, do you have another question?
Yeah.
For Donna, why do paper cuts hurt so much?
Great question for humans.
They do hurt a lot.
You're right about that.
Yeah, it's a cut.
And often it bleeds, so it's going to hurt.
They're really annoying when you get them, and then you can't forget that you have them until they're totally gone.
We have a supply of Band-Aids in our bathroom for our paper cuts.
Oh, so this is a problem on the job.
I used to have someone that worked for me who was into roller derby.
And for roller derby, you always have like an alternate name.
And hers was paper cut.
Oh, cute.
That's funny.
I like that.
Cows do roller derpy.
Oh, callback.
Very nice.
Nice.
You were hanging on to that one.
Love it.
Bob, did you want to weigh in on the paper cut conversation or did you feel good about the fact that it's a cut and that's the end of the story?
Well, I don't feel good about that it's a cut.
It definitely hurts a lot.
No, I think Donna answered that pretty thoroughly.
Okay, wonderful.
Well done.
Great questions, Ilya.
Interesting answers, experts.
Support for The Big Fib comes from Factor Meals.
Because The Big Fib is supported by Factor, let's play a short game of Factor Fib.
Okay, fact or fib?
Ketchup. was used as a medicine.
That is a fact.
Way back in the 1830s, tomato ketchup was marketed as a medicinal cure for indigestion.
Speaking of tomatoes, this week I'm having the smoky Gouda chicken with cauliflower peppers, and that's right, tomatoes.
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Choose from 100 Factor meals weekly with options including keto, high protein, and low carb.
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Head to factormealscom, slash bigfib50off and use code bigfib50off to get 50 off and free breakfast for a year.
Eat like a pro this month with Factor.
New subscribers only varies by plan.
One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.
The Big Fib is supported by Quince.
Fun fact, did you know that wild elephants sleep for only two hours a night?
If I only slept two hours a night, I'd make sure it was the most luxurious sleep imaginable.
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To listen without ads, go to gzmshows.com slash subscribe.
It's time for the shorts on fire round when our experts have to answer as many questions as they can before time runs out.
Lisa will set a timer for the first expert, and then Ilya will ask questions until Lisa's timer sounds.
Then Lisa resets the timer for our next expert to do the same.
Experts, remember to scroll through your answers quickly.
All right, Ilya, we're going to start with Bob.
You can ask your shorts on fire questions now.
What Latin word does the word paper come from?
Papyrus.
What tool do you use to make a sheet of handmade paper?
Cellulose and synthetic polymers.
How many pieces of paper are in a ream?
500.
Paper airplanes were first made in which country?
Thailand.
What is the name of the larger sized paper that used to have a picture of a jester's hat on it?
Harlequin hat.
When did we start using machines to make paper?
I think it was about the early 1800s.
What material did Benjamin Franklin use to try to make paper?
Mineral wool.
For which wedding anniversary is paper the traditional gift?
Number 10.
Fact or fib?
Paper can be made from animal poop.
Fact.
Please be true.
Who discovered that paper could be made from wood after watching wasps make nests by chewing and spinning up wood?
Pass.
Name one of the two cities known as the Paper City because of the paper industry there.
Holyoke, Massachusetts.
And that is time.
That's all the time.
Listen, okay?
That's all the time for Bob, but can we restart the timer for Donna?
You know, this is kind of game-changing, but yeah, I'll do that.
I like that thought.
Thank you for changing the game.
Ilya, you can ask Donna your shorts-on-fire questions now.
Where was paper invented?
China.
What material is used to make most paper?
Wood.
When was it popular to wear dresses made out of paper?
In the 60s.
What is the Japanese art of folding paper to make objects or animals?
Origami.
When was toilet paper first invented?
About 700 AD.
What do you call the design on paper that you can only see when paper is held up to the light?
A watermark.
Early versions of paper were made out of which material in Europe and America?
Cotton and linen rags.
The paper used to make tea bags were made from which plant?
A type of banana plant.
Fact or fib?
Paper is a renewable resource.
Fact.
What is the name of this 1973 movie about a father and a daughter traveling together during the Great Depression?
Time Traveler's Wife.
What do you call the paper that you cut into strips and mix with a sticky paste to mold over balloons or bowls?
Paper mache.
How many sheets of paper can one pine tree make?
I don't know.
And that is time.
Very good.
Elia, well done keeping your cool throughout that round.
And I think the experts did a good job, but we'll find out soon enough.
Okay, it's decision time.
Elia must remember everything she's heard and try to sort fact from fiction.
Elia, who is our paper fibber?
I think that it's Donna.
Why do you think Donna is our fibber?
I think that it's Donna, because some of her answers on the shorts on fire round just sounded a little untrue.
Okay, we need to get to the bottom of that for sure.
Okay, will our actual paper expert please say, I am the paper expert.
I am the paper expert.
Oh, yes.
Donna Koretsky is the owner of Carriage House Paper in Brooklyn, New York, a studio that makes paper by hand, teaches papermaking workshops and sells papermaking supplies to other papermakers all over the world.
Their website is carriagehousepaper.com.
Check it out.
You are also the director of the International Paper Museum.
Is that true?
Yes, I am.
And where is that and what might we find there?
Well, that's located in Brookline Massachusetts, and it's a collection of interesting paper tools artifacts, books that I have collected along with my mother over the years, all over the world.
Wow.
Very cool.
I would love to check that out.
So let's do some fact checking here.
So Donna, we must inquire about all the fibs you heard Bob tell.
What did you hear?
You asked about the paper with the watermark of a jester's hat.
So that's fool's cap.
Ah, fool's cap, not the harlequin answer, okay?
Do you remember any others?
Benjamin Franklin, he actually experimented with asbestos.
Oh, no.
Bob wasn't that far off because he did say a mineral.
That's true.
Mineral wool, he said, which sounded very convincing.
But who would believe that he tried to do it with asbestos?
That didn't work out, luckily.
OK, very good.
All right.
Well, let's ask Bob then, because he probably remembers what he said.
So, Bob, what did you share that was outside the margins of truth?
Well, I'm not a paper expert so we do not have paper airplane notes that we throw around the office.
Sad.
I didn't really get into paper airplanes or origami, obviously.
What do you make the material for handmade paper?
My lie was cellulose and synthetic polymers.
That is the material to make sponges, not paper.
Well, we'll have to remember that for our sponge episode.
Paper airplanes were made in China.
And I had a fun fib I was hoping to share, but that's all right.
I was going to say the first paper airplane was thrown off the Great Wall of China.
We didn't get to that.
But so my lie was they were made in Thailand.
Right.
And of course, the Harlequin hat.
I said 10th anniversary instead of first.
Oh, right.
The wedding anniversary where paper is the traditional gift is the first wedding anniversary.
Very good.
That's right.
And I think that is it.
We had one other.
We had also who discovered that paper could be made from wood after watching wasps make nests by chewing and spitting up wood.
Do you know the answer to that, Donna?
Yeah, Matthias Koops from Germany.
Very good.
Around 1800.
And also Bob was correct that one of the two cities that is known as Paper City is Holyoke Massachusetts, and it's also another city.
Donna, do you know that city?
No, I don't.
That is Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Ah.
Yeah, FYI.
So then it was true that it was popular to wear dresses out of paper in the 60s.
Wonder why that didn't last.
Just for Donna's benefit, about 80,000 sheets of paper can come from the average pine tree.
And this nobody would have expected you to know, but the name of the 1973 movie about a father and daughter traveling together during the Great Depression.
There is paper in the title
It was Paper Moon.
Oh, right.
All good.
Did you have any other questions, Ilya?
Because you said you were maybe thrown by some of the statements.
Is everything clarified for you now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So now we know.
Oh, well, well, you did a great job.
That was really challenging.
I have to admit.
So sorry about that, Ilya, but you did very well.
And those were some great questions.
We learned a lot.
It really though, just feels like we've only just scrimmed the surface, but we're out of paper.
So thanks to our contestant, Ilya, for her high caliper of questioning.
And thank you to our expert and liar, Donna and Bob.
And thanks to Lisa for the paper jam session of sounds.
And, of course, many thanks to our listeners tuning into The Big Fib, where we leave a paper trail of truth to guide you through the ridiculous pulp fiction of lies.
No!
Big Fib is a production of Gen Z Media.
For more great shows, why don't you visit gzmshows.com.
And while you're there, why don't you find out how you can be a contestant.
And while you're finding that out, why don't you send questions for me to answer on the show, okay?
All right, bud.
And follow us on social media at the Big Fib Podcast for behind-the-scenes photos and more true facts.
And now I'm going to make a beautiful origami crane.
Fold, fold, fold, fold, fold.
Oh, hi, little origami crane.
How are you?
I am mad.
Oh, you're mad?
What are you mad about?
I want to be a real crane.
Oh, okay.
Well, let me see if I can find a wizard.
Hey, I'm a wizard.
Oh, hey, wizard.
Could you turn this paper crane into a real crane?
Well, of course I could.
I'm not mad at you.
The end.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Bonus.
Bonus show.
Thank you so much.
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