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And now it's time for Who Smarted?
Hey, smarty pants.
Once again, I'm in the woods taking a nature hike.
Gosh golly gee, do I love breathing in the fresh air, smelling that earthy smell and just enjoying the subtle quiet of nature.
Also, Chad Nickerson owes me 20 because he bet me that I wouldn't use gosh golly gee in a sentence.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh, yes, you can't beat the call of the wild.
Or the woods near my house.
If I'm really lucky, I might catch a glimpse of a critter.
Ooh, a squirrel.
Ah, a chipmunk.
And what's that?
Why, it's a wild rabbit.
Let's not scare it.
Smarty Pants, are you rabid for rabbits like me?
Do you also share a rabbit habit?
Shh, I get it.
That joke stunk.
But don't scare away the bunny.
I gotta say, this little guy is pretty brave.
I'm not even four feet away, and he's just chilling out.
Whoa, now he's looking right at me.
It's almost as if they can tell I want to know more about them.
Of course, the second I move, they'll probably run.
Yeah, what's up, Doc?
Huh?
Did that rabbit just talk to me?
Uh, yeah.
You've been staring at me for a while.
So I repeat.
What's up, Doc?
Um, not much.
Also, I'm not a doctor.
I'm a narrator.
Do you have a name, Mr. Rabbit?
Mr. Rabbit's my father's name.
Call me Suggs Bunny.
Oh, Suggs.
Got it.
You can call me Trusty.
Oh, yeah?
Why should I trust you?
Oh, um, tell him, Smarty Pants.
See?
I'm a very trusty narrator.
In that case, quick, stuff this watercress into your pocket.
And don't say a word.
Watercress?
Um, okay.
Hey, where'd you go?
Suggs?
Be very, very quiet.
Uh, who are you now?
I'm Farmer Fudd, and that's my farm over yonder.
I'm looking for the rascally rabbit who stole my watercress.
Oh, oh, I get it.
Sorry, no rabbits here, or bunnies.
Twat!
One day I'm gonna catch that twicky rabbit.
Bye, strange man wandering alone in the woods.
Psst, Suggs, the coast is clear.
Suggs.
Phew, that farmer with the familiar speech pattern is always giving me trouble.
Whoa, you're back.
I didn't even hear you.
I must say, you're really good at hiding.
Stealth is in a rabbit's nature.
I suppose it was you who stole this watercress from Farmer Fudd.
Stole?
No!
I accepted a generous donation. in support of the local rabbit population.
Uh-huh.
I gotta say, you do live up to your name, trustee.
I also won.
Don't mention it.
But if you did want to repay me, you could answer some questions I have about rabbits.
Like, how many species are there?
What's the difference between rabbits and hares?
And for that matter, bunnies?
What do rabbits eat?
And are rabbits considered an invasive species?
Invasive species?
You've been reading too many science fiction books.
Uh-huh.
It's time for another whiff of science and history on Who Smarted?
Who Smarted?
Who's smart?
Is it you?
Is it me?
Is it science?
Or history?
Listen up, everyone.
We make smarting lots of fun on Who Smarted?
Eh, what's up, trusty?
What do you want to know first?
Let's see.
Um, how many species of rabbits are there?
That's easy.
There are 29 species of rabbits belonging to the family of Leporidae.
Say it with me.
Leporidae.
This Leporidae family hasn't changed much for a long, long time, since the Ian scene epic.
That's when rabbit fossils were first well-documented.
Smartypants, do you know how long ago that was when rabbit fossils were first documented?
Was it 10,000 years ago?
100,000 years ago?
Or 40 million years ago?
If you said 40 million years ago, you're right!
Yep, that's how long us rabbits have been hippity-hopping around the joint.
Back then we was mainly in North America, but now we live in 70 countries on every continent, except Ooh.
Let's see if the smarty-pants can guess.
Which continent will you not find rabbits on?
Did you say... Did you say Australia?
Because that's one place I'm never gonna go.
Ever.
Australia?
What's wrong with Australia?
I love Australia, and we have lots of smarty pants listening in Australia.
G'day, smarties.
Nope, I ain't going to Australia.
You can't make me.
Okay, we'll come back to that later.
But that's not the answer, is it, Suggs?
Smarty pants, do you know which continent rabbits do not live on?
If you said Antarctica, you're right.
It's simply too cold for rabbits to live there.
That's right, Smarty Pants.
No Antarctica and no Australia, for personal reasons.
What's next, trusty?
Uh, oh, what's the difference between a rabbit and a hare?
You don't know?
No, that's why I asked.
A rabbit is rabbit-brained, while a hare is hare-brained.
I slay me.
Get it?
Rabbit-brained?
Hare-brained?
Ha ha ha ha!
Good one, Suggs.
Smartypants, do you think you know some differences between rabbits and hares?
Do they differ in their size and shape?
How they evade predators?
Their preferred habitat?
Senses of humor?
Okay, I like a good laugh.
So sue me.
In general, rabbits are smaller and have shorter ears than hares.
Rabbits also tend to hide rather than run from predators.
Remember what I said about being stealthy?
And we prefer habitats with trees and shrubs where we dig into the soil and live in burrows.
Hares prefer to live in open prairies or plains.
Gotcha.
So if rabbits are different than hares, what's a bunny?
Bunny is just another name for rabbit.
But therein lies the problem.
Names.
You know jackrabbits?
Yeah.
Well, jackrabbits are actually a species of hare, but rock hares and hispid hares... Let me guess.
Rabbits.
Exactly.
Say, you got any watercress left in your pocket?
Uh, no, but I do have some leftover meatcake.
Pass.
Rabbits, both wild and domesticated, are strict vegetarians.
Right.
Anyway, I couldn't help noticing all you rabbits' bunnies and hairs look pretty similar.
Gray-brown fur, long ears, big eyes.
That's kind of the rabbit hair look, am I right?
Um, what's a one-syllable word that starts with N and rhymes with go?
No.
Exactly.
And that's also the answer to your question.
No, not all rabbits and hares look alike.
Granted, all wild rabbits have a general look.
Grayish brown fur, long ears, big eyes, yada, yada, yada.
There are some notable exceptions, like the black amami rabbit of Japan and the black striped rabbits of Southeast Asia.
Interesting.
I've never heard of those.
Good thing you ran into me.
Then there are the multitudinous breeds of domesticated rabbits.
You know, the kind people have as pets.
They all look very different.
Long hair, short hair, brown, white, tan, gray, black, spotted.
Hey, smarty pants.
How many breeds of rabbits do you think there are?
50, 100, or 150?
If I could just find my 2017 year in rabbit review.
Ah, here it is.
And I quote, putting our furry heads together the American Rabbit Breeders Association and the British Rabbit Council have determined there are 191 unique breeds of rabbits.
So, Mr. Narrator, when you say all rabbits look alike, I say, look again, sir.
Look again.
Thanks, Suggs.
You've changed my whole perspective on rabbits.
So, I know you like watercress, but what else do rabbits like to eat?
And have their eating habits ever led them to become an invasive species?
There you go with the crazy stories again.
We'll see about that right after this quick break.
Hey, Trusty here.
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Now back to Who Smarted?
Okay, Suggs.
Besides stolen, I mean borrowed, watercress, what do rabbits like to eat?
Mainly grasses and forbs.
Do you know what forbs are?
I don't.
Smartypants, any idea what forbs are?
Are they copies of a business magazine? a flowering plant that isn't grass.
Or a special kind of fork.
Forbs are those flowering plant thingies that aren't grass.
But rabbits also eat vegetables, like bok choy, Brussels sprouts, lettuce, and carrot tops.
I'd say we've probably tried most green or leafy vegetation at least once.
Plants are known to contain a lot of cellulose.
Isn't that hard to digest?
Hard to digest.
Is that an odd question?
Relax.
Jeez.
What's with the third degree?
Third degree?
Is it hot in here?
This fur has been burning up.
Can someone turn the temperature down?
The temperature hasn't changed.
Suggs, are you hiding something?
Hiding something?
No.
Why would I be hiding something?
Because when I asked if the cellulose in the plants is hard to digest, you got very, very nervous.
Fine.
I confess.
I did it.
It was me.
Did what?
Sugs?
Fine.
It's true.
It's all true.
To get all the vitamins and nutrients from the plants we eat, we sometimes have to eat poo.
Ew.
Random poo, or?
You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?
Ugh.
Yes, rabbits sometimes eat their own poo.
Yucky.
But it's a special kind of poo that's good for us.
A rabbit's digestive tract makes two types of poo.
One that's hard and bad for us, which we don't eat.
And one that's soft, which we do.
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Even if it means eating your doo.
Do.
But how does eating your poop help you?
The soft poop form comes in a chamber between our intestines, where bacteria breaks down the plant's cellulose and produces essential B vitamins.
When it passes, we eat it and the recovered nutrients get redigested in a special part of our stomachs.
Look, I ain't particularly proud of it, so maybe keep it on the down low.
Speaking of down, why won't you go to the land down under?
You know, Australia.
So you really want to know?
Honestly, after learning about your special poo dinner, I'm not so sure.
The reason I won't go to Australia is because rabbits and Australia are like oil and vinegar.
We just don't mix.
How so?
There's been bad blood between us ever since 1859, when wild European rabbits were introduced to Australia.
See, we gotta eat plants to survive.
So it's not our fault that in 10 years we caused quote extensive agricultural damage and in 60 years precipitated the extinction of certain native flora and fauna.
Ah, so you're saying rabbits are considered an invasive species in Australia.
What I'm saying is, we never should have been there in the first place.
Humans introduced us without asking.
Then things got worse in the 1950s.
Since the Australian wildlife authorities couldn't control the rabbit population, they brought out the big guns.
A virus naturally occurring in South American cottontails that was lethal to the European rabbits of Australia.
99% of the Australian rabbits died before they developed immunity and regrew the population.
To this day, the Aussie authorities are trying to control the rabbit population through biological solutions poisoning fumigation hunting, and war and destruction.
Oh, wow.
I'm so sorry, Suggs.
That's a very unfortunate situation.
Now you know why Australia is on the no-go list.
But it's a great place for smarty pants.
Oh, and speaking of invasive species, here comes that nosy farmer again.
Suggs?
Where'd you go?
Be very, very quiet.
I'm... Looking for a rabbit who stole some watercress?
That's right.
You seen any rabbits around?
Nope.
Oh, I know.
Have you tried looking in Antarctica?
No, but I will.
Thanks.
What's your name?
Uh, the not-so-trusty narrator.
This one time.
A super smarty shout out to Carter in Greer, South Carolina.
You told us you love the funny sound effects questions, trivia and songs, and that yelling meatcake is your favorite.
Well, thanks for smarting and meatcaking with us, Carter.
This episode Rabbits was written by Dan Jack Rabbit Gold and voiced by Taya Good, Bunny Garland, Jason Warren Williams and Jerry Colbert.
Technical direction and sound design by Hoppin' Josh Hahn.
Who Smarted? is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios.
Our associate producer is Max Cottontail Kamaski.
The theme song is by Brian Bad Bunny Suarez.
Lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex-Davis.
Who Smarted? was created and produced by Adam Tex-Davis and Jerry Colbert.
This has been an Atomic Entertainment
