Hey there, smarty pants. As you can hear, I'm back at the beach.
The sun is shining, the seagulls are soaring, and the water is absolutely beauti-
Um, excuse me, sir? Um, what's your name?
Mark. Well, Mark, I couldn't help notice you just threw a plastic water bottle into the ocean.
What? You wanted a deposit on it? No. I wanted to let you know you shouldn't throw trash into the ocean.
Why not? The ocean's huge, dude. One plastic bottle isn't gonna hurt it.
Uh-huh. I guess you've never heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
No. What's that? Well, I could tell you, but it might make more of an impression if I showed you.
You're not busy, are you? Actually, I was about to go jet skiing.
Great! Shrinkify! What's going on? Are we shrinking?
Dude! Are you like some kind of wizard?
Is this like World of Warcraft? IRL edition?
No, I'm not a wizard, and this isn't World of Warcraft.
I'm the trusty narrator, and this is the Who Smarted podcast.
And believe it or not, podcasting gives you more powers than any wizard.
Don't believe me? Check it out. Thunder.
Wind. Seagull turned into a dog. Now back to a seagull.
Whoa. No. Whoa. OK, now that you know how all-powerful I am, Um, Hop on where?
Where are we going? We're going to climb on top of the plastic water bottle that you casually toss into the ocean and ride it to where it ends up. i think you're in for a surprise mark and by the time we get back hopefully you'll have learned a lesson several lessons actually, including but not limited to,
What is the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?
How does it affect the creatures that live in the ocean?
And why haven't we cleaned it up? I guess that sounds almost as cool as jet skiing.
Great! Get ready for another whiff of history and science on...
Who smarted? Who's smart? Is it you? Is it me?
Is it science? Or history? Listen up, everyone.
We make smarting lots of fun on Who's Smarted?
So, Mark, I shrunk us down so we can talk right into the mouth of our new friend and current transportation. the plastic water bottle.
Hello, Mr. Bottle. Please, Mr. Bottle's my father's name.
Call me. Bob! Okay. Do you know anything about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, Bob?
Oh sure, I got tons of family there. Literally tons.
The first thing you should know about the patch is it isn't a big deal towering pile of garbage floating on top of the water.
In fact, you can barely see it from the air.
It's more like a gigantic cloudy soup. made up of mostly tiny bits of plastic. that started out as bigger plastic like me.
And just how big is this cloudy garbage soup, smarty pants?
Is it roughly 50 miles wide, 500 miles wide? or 5,000 miles wide.
Did you say 500 miles? That's big, but not big enough.
Because the answer is 5,000 miles. That's longer than the United States.
In fact, it's nearly double the size of the U.S.
Whoa. Yup. The garbage patch stretches all the way from the west coast of the United States to Japan.
But it's concentrated in two spots they call the Western Garbage Patch and the Eastern Garbage Patch.
Believe it or not, smarty pants, the garbage patch wasn't even discovered until 1997. when Captain Charles Moore accidentally sailed through it on his way home from a yachting race.
What is this stuff? Yuck. It's like a giant, cloudy, soupy mess that goes on forever.
Did every whale throw up at once? Gross!
Hold on. You're telling me we're on our way there right now?
Yep. You see... The whole reason the Garbage Patch exists in the first place is because of ocean currents like the one we're riding on.
This one's called the California Current.
Soon, we'll meet up with the North Equatorial Current. then the Kuroshio Current, and finally the Northern Pacific Current, which will dump us off in Garbage Patch Central. the North Pacific subtropical gyre.
Gyre? What's a gyre? Good question, Mark.
Smarty Pants, do you know what a gyre is?
Is it A, an island? be a group of swirling currents, or see an underwater mountain range, If you said B, a group of swirling currents, you are correct.
When our last ocean current carries us into the patch, it's going to leave us right in the center of the gyre. which is very calm and stable.
Phew, that's good. Actually, that's bad, because then we'll be trapped there.
Oh. For how long? Forever! That's not good!
I have a soccer game tomorrow! Yup. Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you littered, Mark.
You weren't too worried when you tossed me into the ocean, remember?
Hold on, hold on, everyone relax. I'll be able to get us back with my teleportation app.
I just wanted Mark to see the garbage patch close up so he could understand just how big a problem it is.
Gotcha. Are we almost there yet, Bob? Depends on your definition of almost.
Based on the speed of these currents, we'll be there in about...
Six years. Six years? I'll be out done with high school by then.
Again, relax. I got this. Teleporting in 3, 2, 1.
And here we are. Whoa! Gross! Yep, as you can see and hear, It's a real mess.
You're not kidding, narrator. Ugh, what's all that stringy stuff?
Those are fishing nets. Even though most of the garbage patch is pieces of plastic, a huge part of it are nets thrown off of fishing boats.
Overall, about 80% of the patch is made up of trash from people on land.
Like you, Mark. And the rest from people in the fishing industry.
My family told me about these nets. That's how ghost fishing happens.
Did you say ghost fishing? Smartypants, any ideas what ghost fishing is?
Go ahead, call him out. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
No, it's not the Flying Dutchman from SpongeBob.
Ghost fishing is when sea creatures get caught in abandoned fishing nets like this one.
It happens to fish, sea turtles, dolphins, even seabirds.
It's pretty terrible. Oh wow, I had no idea.
Another thing that happens is marine animals mistake plastic trash for food.
For example, Turtles love to eat jellyfish.
Nom nom nom nom nom. but they can't tell the difference between a jellyfish and the plastic bag.
So they'll accidentally eat the bag. Yikes.
That's not good. Nope, that is not good for the marine life.
And since humans eat marine life, like fish, we could end up ingesting a bunch of plasticky chemicals ourselves.
Oh, boy. I'm not feeling so well. He could be seasick.
Or sick of what I see in the sea. I've got more bad news for you.
The Great Garbage Patch isn't the only one out there.
You're kidding! Nope. There are five major ocean gyres in the world, and they each have their own garbage patches. though none are as big or as badly polluted as this one.
So exactly how much plastic trash is in here anyway?
The answer is coming up right after this quick break.
Now back to Who Smarted? Right now, I'm with my littering friend, Mark, and we're literally shrunk down and riding the... plastic bottle that Mark literally littered the ocean with.
We are currently sitting in the middle of the Great Garbage Patch, which is a collection of how many pieces of plastic, Bob?
Somewhere around three trillion pieces, they say.
Did you say three trillion with a T? Yup, and 2.4 million tons of new trash is added every year.
Overall, that's about 200 pieces of plastic for every person on the planet.
Ugh. Including me. Another part of the problem is the plastic never disappears completely.
It just breaks into smaller and smaller pieces through a process called photodegradation.
Smartypants, care to take a guess what causes the plastic to get smaller and smaller?
Is it caused by A, ocean waves? B, sharks? or C, sunlight?
If you said sunlight, you're right. Eventually, the sun breaks the plastic trash into such small pieces that you can't actually see them without a microscope.
But they're there. They call those tiny bits of plastic microplastics.
Talk about a hot mess. Can I ask a stupid question?
There's no such thing as a stupid question on who's smarted.
Ask away. Why doesn't someone just clean the whole thing up?
Ah, that's a great question. and the answer just might surprise you and the Smarty Pants.
But first, let's see if you Smarty Pants can figure out the answer.
After all, when your room is a total disaster, you just clean it up, right?
Even if it might not be your idea. Ah, look at this mess.
No meat cake until you clean your room, mister.
Exactly. How hard could it be? Oh, Mark.
Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. What? Didn't you hear what Trusty said about all those microplastics?
They're so small, they're almost impossible to pick up!
And any ocean vacuum... would also remove algae, plankton, and other tiny organisms that fish feed on.
And that's bad? Why, smarty pants? Right, because no food means no fish.
No fish means no bigger sea creatures. The ocean life would starve.
Wah wah wah wah Not to mention the garbage patch is so huge, no country could possibly afford to clean it up without going bankrupt. scientists have figured out that even if they had like 70 ships working around the clock for a whole year they would only manage to clean up 1% of the garbage patch.
Not 50%, not 20%, not 10%, 100%. Little percent.
Not that any country would even take on the job.
The garbage patch is way out here in the middle of the ocean.
No one thinks it's their problem. But it's everyone's problem.
Hey, look who's starting to get it. Now you know what I meant before.
I sure do. But wait, is there anything I can do to help?
Well, until we come up with an actual solution, the best thing you can do is to not make the garbage patch a bigger problem than it already is.
Which means not throwing trash into the ocean.
Bingo. Okay. Can we go back now so I can throw Bob here into a recycling bin?
Absolutely. Hold on. Teleporting in three, two, one.
Land ho! We're back, and back to our normal size.
And what do you know, Mark? There's a recycling can right here.
Come on, LeBron. Let's see if you swish me.
Thanks, Bob. I'll never forget you. Woohoo!
Nice shot! Nothing but can! Later, Bob.
Well, Mark, I think you've learned a valuable lesson today.
I sure did. From now on, there's two things I'm never going to do again.
I'm guessing one is litter. What's the other?
Walker used transportation from now on. I'm using a teleportation app.
Can you show me how to get it? Sorry, that's for trusty narrators only.
Bye! A silly and smart shout-out to Advay in Bethel, Connecticut.
You said Who Smarted is so funny with eight exclamation points.
Yep, I counted. We're just glad to know you're laughing and learning, Smarty Pants.
This episode, The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, was written by Steve Moldy Melcher and voiced by Alan Waste Winter.
Adam Trash Davis, and Jerry Colbert. Technical direction and sound design by Josh Jonkhan.
Who's Smart It is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios.
Our associate producer is Messi Max Kamaski.
The theme song is by Brian Scraps Suarez. with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis.
Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis. and Jerry Colbert.
This has been an Atomic Entertainment production.
Who's smarter?
