And now it's time for who's smarted.
Psst! Hey there, smarty pants!
You caught me as I was about to enjoy one of life's simplest pleasures.
A plate of warm chocolate chip cookies, and next to it, a tall glass of what is truly the most perfect drink for cookie dunking.
Say it with me on three.
One. Two. Three. Pickle juice!
Wait, what? Did you say something else?
Of course you did, smarty pants.
You said a nice glass of good old milk.
Mmmm! Mmm! Mmm! Delicious!
Smarty pants, did you know there's a scientific reason why milk in cookies taste so good?
Believe it or not, chemicals in the milk interact with your tongue, making chocolate chips smoother and creamier and oh so yummy!
Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
Now, as you may know from our Who Smarted episode on cookies, these treats aren't exactly ahem...
nutritious. But milk has always been essential to human health.
Smarty pants, can you guess why milk is so important?
Is it because A, it helps make bones and teeth stronger, B, it contains a ton of nutrients, or C, it's high in protein, which helps build muscles and repair cells.
The answer is, all three.
Milk basically has everything your body needs, and that's why babies depend on it.
Now, many babies get milk from their mothers, but as people grow older, they drink milk from a different source, mostly from a particular animal.
Say it with me on three.
One, two, three, gorillas!
I'm just playing with you smarty pants.
Of course the answer is...
That's right, most of the milk we drink comes from big, beautiful cows.
In fact, there's one heading towards my house right now.
And are those little wings?
Oh boy, I don't think it's stopping.
Yep, there's a winged cow in my house.
Hello! I'm Moo -Linda, your dairy cow mother.
Hi, Moo -Linda. I'm your trusty narrator.
What brings you to my home, which now does not have a door?
Today is a very special day for you.
Oops, sorry, I'm like a cow in a china shop.
Anymoo, I'm here to grant you your wish with my magic tale.
I will transform you from a puppet into a real boy.
Uh, I'm already human.
Oh, my bad. I know, I'm here to save you from your evil stepsisters.
Nope, no evil stepsisters.
Um, have you eaten a poisoned apple recently?
No, what I'm trying to do is eat my milk and cookies.
Ooh, did someone say milk?
Let me tell you I know a lot about milk.
Do you know why most people drink milk from cows, or what makes milk white or how it was once deadly?
Oh, smarty pants, do you know?
Yeah, me neither. Come with me on a milk adventure, and I'll tell you everything I know about milk.
What do you know about insurance?
Not much. Oh, well, I have too much stuff anyways, but I can never get enough knowledge.
Get ready for a nice, creamy whiff of science and history on...
How smart, Ed? Who's smarted?
Who's smart? Is it you?
Is it me? Is it science or history?
Listen up! Everyone, we make smarty lots of fun on who's smarted.
OK, smarty pants, as you may know, all mammals, such as humans, produce milk, and babies usually get their initial milk from their mothers.
But eventually, most people and some house cats start drinking milk from cows.
So why is that? Well, my dear, as your dairy cow mother, I can tell you, do you know what animals' milk is most like human milk?
Smarty pants, care to guess?
Is it A, cow milk? B, donkey milk?
C, goat milk? Or D, whale milk?
The answer is B, donkey's milk.
You're joking, right?
No, that is a fact.
Uh, so then why do most people drink milk from a cow instead of a donkey?
Come on, hop on my back and I'll show you.
Oh, boy. I have never ridden a cow before.
A flying cow? Don't forget to put on your seat belt.
Up, up, and... Wow, this is amazing.
Where are we going?
Right here. Uh, Mulinda, why are we at a boxing ring?
This is Chet Nickerson welcoming you to tonight's main event.
Let's get ready to milk.
Wait, this isn't a boxing match.
Mulinda, what's going on?
Just watch, dairy. In this corner, weighing in at 450 pounds, he's best friends with a green ogre, introducing...
...Junkie! And in this corner, weighing about 200 pounds, with his favourite overalls and panel, it's Farmer Old McDonald!
Howdy, folks. At the sound of the bell, I want you to come out milking.
Oh, down goes McDonald!
Old McDonald is down for the count.
Wow, that was over pretty fast.
Yep, it's hard to milk a donkey, so not many farmers do it, even though donkey milk is very close to human milk.
All right, it's time for round two.
Round two. In this corner, it's Farmer Old McDonald again.
Versus Santa's little helper, the reindeer.
At the sound of the bell, come out milking.
This doesn't look very fair either.
Ouch, Farmer Mac is down again.
It's another knockout.
That poor farmer. Yep, while some people like the taste of reindeer milk, getting it can prove very difficult.
Same goes for other animals like pigs, camels and water buffalo.
Even goats can be tricky.
Hold on, folks, Farmer McDonald is back up.
He's got his pale and he's milking the reindeer.
Whoa, it's amazing.
And he's done. That's it?
I sure thought I'd get more.
That's the other part of it.
Unlike other mammals, cows are calm, relatively easy to milk and we produce a lot of it.
Think of the large jug of milk in your fridge or on the shelf at the supermarket.
Maybe it's a gallon or four litres.
About how many of those do you think a dairy cow can fill in a day?
Smarty Pants, what's your guess?
Three, five, seven?
The average dairy industry cow can fill about seven of those large milk jugs every day.
Way more than other animals.
That's why cows milk became the most popular.
And do you know when people started milking cows?
Smarty Pants, what's your guess?
500 years ago? 1000 years ago?
Or 10 ,000 years ago?
If you said 10 ,000 years ago, you are utterly amazing.
Get it? Utterly? Hey, are they booing me?
I'm sure they're just sending moo.
Anyway, can you guess where people started milking cows?
Hmm, Smarty Pants, what do you think?
Was it India, Turkey or Switzerland?
Come, I'll show you.
Oof. Holy cow, it seems a flying cow has flown into the ring and KO'd Farmer Mac.
Sorry. I'm okay. Wow, where are we?
We're on an early farm in ancient Anatolia.
Which today is the country of Turkey.
Great job if you guessed Turkey, Smarty Pants.
Oh look, I see an early farmer milking a cow.
Smarty Pants, what colour was ancient milk?
Was it white, dark yellow or brown?
The answer is, coming up right after this quick break, and a word from our sponsors.
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Now back to who smarted.
Okay smartypants, we're an ancient Anatolia, a region of the country now known as Turkey, where an ancient farmer is milking an ancient cow.
So what colour is the ancient milk?
Is it white, dark yellow, or brown?
Well, nobody was drinking chocolate milk in ancient times, so it's not brown.
In fact, milk has always been naturally white.
And why is that? What makes milk white?
It has to do with the stuff that's in the milk.
Smartypants, what's the main ingredient of milk?
It's in pretty much everything you eat and drink.
Here's a hint. Yep, it's water.
About 87%, the vast majority of milk is water.
But inside that water is all the good stuff.
You talked about earlier, light proteins called caseins and calcium complexes, plus a good amount of fat.
The funny thing about these ingredients is they don't absorb colour.
When light hits them, it scatters about making milk look white.
Nice. Oh, I've got a cookie in my pocket.
I'm going to go dunk it in some of that white ancient milk.
Oh no. Don't do that.
Why not? Because milk back then could be deadly.
Did you say deadly?
I'm afraid so, trusty.
Ten thousand years ago, when people first started milking cows, nobody actually drank the milk.
Oh, then what did they use it for?
Smartypants, any ideas?
Go ahead, shout out some things made with milk.
Yep, there's yogurt, butter, and of course, cheese.
However, people back then had trouble drinking cow's milk because adult humans couldn't tolerate a special type of milk sugar called lactose.
Yeah, but that didn't make milk dangerous.
The lactose in milk just gave people upset stomachs, which led to a lot of this.
Sorry. Right, but then over time, many people developed the ability to drink cow's milk without a problem.
I didn't say all people, as there are plenty of people today who are lactose intolerant.
Fortunately, thanks to science, there are pills and other products available to help everyone enjoy a glass of milk.
Like this tall glass filled with ancient milk.
I'm just going to have a little dunk and...
And you broke it. No offence, but I cannot wait until you stop accidentally breaking everything.
No, that one was not an accident.
Like I said, that milk is dangerous and maybe even deadly.
Oh, right. So how is milk dangerous?
Come, take a look. Yuck.
Is this a dairy farm?
In a city slump? Yep.
In the 1800s, next to a brewery.
Cows ate the swap, left over, after beer was made.
That can't be healthy for the cows.
Or the people drinking the milk.
Not at all. In fact, many people died from drinking it.
But babies need milk, and this was often the best option.
Yikes. That's horrible.
Smarty pants, what do you think was in the milk that made it so dangerous?
Go ahead, call out your answers.
Oh, I heard some good ones.
Melinda, tell us what it was.
Something that's been hurting humans forever.
They sometimes call sniffles, other times a lot worse.
They're tiny organisms known as germs.
And in milk, they were particularly bad.
And everywhere, even in milk from farms.
So what did people do?
Obviously, not everyone died.
Well, some babies used to drink milk directly from goats.
Back then, that was the safest way to have it.
Until Louis Pasteur came along.
Louis Pasteur. What did he do?
Oh, I bet some of the smarty pants know.
He created Pasteurization.
Not sure where the name comes from.
His name was Louis Pasteur.
Yeah, that's probably it.
Any move. Pasteurization destroys the dangerous germs in milk.
And today, most governments require all milk be pasteurized.
Smarty Pants, do you know how pasteurization kills the germs in milk?
Does it A, briefly heat milk to a high temperature?
B, freeze milk for five years?
Or C, clean milk with a soap -like substance?
The answer is A, pasteurization kills milk germs by heating them up.
The milk is then cooled again and is now completely safe to drink.
Of course, some people are allergic to milk, so it's still dangerous for them.
And there are other issues with milk.
Vegans can't drink it, and others won't because they don't like it or the way it's produced.
And some dairy farms don't treat cows properly.
Fortunately, if you can't or won't have cows milk, there are plenty of other options.
Soy milk, almond milk, and oat milk are very popular these days.
They're not real milks in that they don't come from animals, but they look like milk and are full of nutrients.
And best of all, you can still enjoy them with a plate of cookies.
Right. Hey, where'd my cookies go?
Melinda, did you eat my cookies?
Who? Me? I would never.
Anymoo, don't have a cow, Trusty.
See ya. Send me a bill for the door.
A super shout out to Super Smarty fans, Noah, Thomas, Henry, and Sarah, a military family living in Kailua, Hawaii.
We're so glad you find Who Smarted so funny and that we were able to solve your car ride problem.
Apparently, nobody ever wanted to sit in the very back of the car, but ever since you started letting the kid in the back get to choose which episode of Who Smarted to listen to, everyone wants to sit back there.
Well, we're always happy to help.
Thanks so much, Smarty fam.
This episode, Milk, was written by Derry Dave Bodry and voiced by Emma Mad Cow Wilson, Adam Nesquik Davis, Max Heavy Cream Kamaski, and Jerry Colburn, Technical Direction and Sound Design by Josh Half and Half Han.
Our associate producer is Max Kamaski.
The theme song is by Brian, Skim Milk Suarez, with lyrics written and performed by Adam Text Davis.
Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Text Davis and Jerry Colburn.
This has been an Atomic Entertainment production.
This has been an Atomic Entertainment production.
Who Smarted
