And now it's time for Who's Smarted.
Hey smarty pants, I'm a very excited narrator today.
You know why? Because I'm in the car headed to a dude ranch.
Sup dude? No, not a place where people call each other dude.
Although that could be fun.
Dude. No, a dude ranch is a place where guests experience western lifestyle activities, including...
Horseback riding! As you can tell, I'm pumped!
But also a little nervous, but mostly excited.
But a tad terrified.
The truth is, I haven't had much horseback riding training since I was a young narrator and went for a pony ride at the fair.
So I decided to visit a local riding school to learn more about horses before I head to the dude ranch.
Pretty smart dude. Howdy trusty narrator.
I'm Stella, your riding instructor.
I have you scheduled for a ride on Bubbles.
Hi Stella. Hi Bubbles.
Nice to meet you both.
Nice to meet you too.
Oh, I don't know why, but I didn't expect Bubbles to talk.
But since this is who's smarted, everything talks.
But no smarty pants.
Horses don't talk outside of podcasts.
And old black and white TV sitcoms.
So trusty, what did you want to know about horses before hitting the dude ranch?
Well, besides a practice ride, I also wanted to know how do horses sleep?
What does it mean when a horse neighs?
And what do you need to ride a horse?
Gotcha. Bubbles and I have your back.
And then you can get on my back.
Great. And oh boy, it's time for another whiff of science and history on...
Who's smart? Is it you?
Is it me? Is it science or history?
Listen up. Everyone, we make smarting.
Lots of fun on who's smarted.
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Wow, smarty pants. Did you hear that galloping?
Yeah. That wasn't me.
Not yet. Right. Anywho, my first question for you, bubbles, is there aren't too many animals that people ride around.
So why do people ride horses?
Well, not to brag, but horses are the only animal that can run for miles and leap over fences while carrying a person on our back.
I see. Um, we won't be leaping over any fences today, right?
No, trusty. We'll take it easy on you.
But you didn't remember to bring your helmet, right?
I sure did. Smarty pants, horses are pretty tall.
Falling off of one can be dangerous, so you should always wear a helmet when riding.
Speaking of how tall are horses and how do you measure them?
To the top of their head, to their back.
Smarty pants, do you know?
The average horse is around 17 .3 hands tall, which equals around 1 .8 meters or 5 .9 feet tall.
Wait, did you say hands?
Yep. Horses are measured in hands.
Hand is based on the width of an average man's hand, about four inches or .1 meters.
And a horse is measured to the base of its neck, not the top of its head.
You can count how many of your hands it takes to go down to its foot, or you could just take a long measuring stick or tape measure.
Interesting. Okay, let me put my helmet on.
You look great in your helmet.
Thanks, but how can you see me?
I'm all the way over on the side of you.
Ah, that's because horses have panoramic vision.
We can see nearly 360 degrees or practically all around us.
Whoa. But we do have two blind spots.
One is just behind our tail and the other is just in front of our nose.
So you should never approach a horse from either of these spots.
It can be really scary.
Oh yeah, I'll make sure to stay where you can see me.
This is Bubble's stable for when he's not working or grazing.
Nice, but where's Bubble's bed?
Horses don't need beds.
Really? Smarty Pants, why don't horses need beds?
Is it because they, A, don't sleep, B, sleep standing up, or C, prefer sleeping bags?
If you said B, sleep standing up, you're right.
Unlike humans and many other creatures, horses sleep standing up.
But it's not my bedtime yet.
I'm ready for smarting.
I noticed horses say nay.
What does it mean? I'm just calling out to my horse friends.
When a horse neighs, it's usually calling out to other horses in the distance.
Right now, I'm telling my friends, I'm hanging out with Trusty Narrator.
Aw, I'm excited to hang out with you too, Bubbles.
It's been a long time since I had a pony ride.
Whoa, hold on, Trusty.
I'm not a pony. I'm a horse.
Yikes, Smarty Pants.
Obviously, there's a big difference between horses and ponies that I didn't know.
I thought they were the same.
Smarty Pants, are horses, A, taller than ponies, B, older than ponies, or C, stronger than ponies?
If you said, A, horses are taller than ponies, you're right.
A pony's body shape is also different from a horse's, since most ponies are stocky with short necks and legs.
But they are a little sturdier on their feet than horses, although Bubbles doesn't really like that fact.
It's okay. I know the Trusty Narrator and the Smarty Pants are here to learn, even if we're going to talk about some facts that aren't my favorites.
Shetland ponies are the strongest breed of horses and ponies.
But they don't need to be such show -offs about it.
Let's move off of this topic.
I've heard of miniature horses before.
Are they actually ponies?
What do you think, Smarty Pants?
You might be surprised to learn that miniature horses are not ponies.
Oh? They're horses whose smaller size has helped them adapt to severe climate conditions and less food than what a larger horse requires.
A fully grown horse that is less than 34 inches or 0 .8 meters tall is a miniature horse.
Miniature horses are typically very friendly, and some people keep them as pets.
Nay! I mean, yay! That would be so cool to keep a miniature horse as a pet.
But Chet is already watching my cat for me.
I don't think I could ask him to watch a miniature horse, too.
This is Chet Nickerson reporting live from the Trusty Narrator's home.
The litter box is full and starting to smell pee -ew.
Okay, since that pony is not a baby horse, what are baby horses called, Smarty Pants?
Are they A, horselets, B, puppies, or C, foals?
If you said C, foals?
Nice job. Foals usually try to stand up on their wobbly legs within an hour after they're born.
Aww! That's because we're always looking for new adventures.
Horses have inspired many stories going back to ancient times.
In fact, over 30 ,000 years ago, people painted pictures of horses on cave walls.
And it's no coincidence that Pegasus and unicorns, two famous and beautiful creatures, are both horses.
Pegasus is a horse with wings.
And a unicorn is a horse with a magical horn on its head.
The ancient Greeks and Romans held organized races on a horseback.
And today there are tons of books, movies, and TV shows about horses.
So it's not just a thing of the past.
That's true, but what has changed is the number of jobs a horse used to do.
Before five trucks were invented, firewagons were pulled by three big horses.
And in earlier times, most people, men and women, knew how to ride horses.
That's because horses or coaches were how people got around faster back then.
No offense, trusty.
None taken, but now it's my turn to learn.
I've got my helmet on and fastened.
I'm wearing boots with a heel and smooth soles.
I am ready to ride.
I'm also terrified.
How tall is Bubbles?
16 .3 hands. Oh boy, I think we need a hand getting on Bubbles.
Okay, smarty pants, I'm about to ride a horse right after this quick break.
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Now back to who's smarted.
Okay, I'm all geared up and ready to ride a horse.
And Bubbles has his tack on.
A tack? Not a thumbtack, I hope.
Those are pointy. Smarty Pants, when it comes to horses, what is tack?
Is it A, something that helps a rider stick to a horse?
B, something a horse wears when you ride it?
Or C, a cool horsey hat?
If you said B, something a horse wears when you ride it, you're right.
And I'm relieved. As much as I want to ride a horse, I wouldn't want to be stuck to one.
The two main pieces of tack are the saddle and the bridle.
Ah, I know the saddle goes on the horse's back, but I'm not sure where the bridle goes.
It sounds like it's for a wedding.
The bridle is actually a piece of tack that fits over the horse's head.
The bit is part of the bridle that goes in the horse's mouth.
You could put the bit in now, but later I'd like to have a carrot in my mouth.
Oh, don't worry. You'll get your snack after the ride, Bubbles.
We also put your saddle pad on already to keep the saddle from rubbing your back too much.
Thanks for keeping me comfortable.
No problem, Bubbles.
So Bubbles likes carrots, huh?
What else do horses like to eat?
Carrots and apples are special treats.
We usually munch grass and hay.
In fact, if I were a wild horse in natural surroundings, I'd spend half a day grazing on whatever grasses I could find.
Ooh, I could spend half a day eating pizza.
Okay, Trustee, it's time for you to mount.
Wait, we're climbing a mountain?
I thought I was riding a horse.
No, getting on a horse is called mounting.
And getting off is called dismounting.
Oops, okay, time to mount.
There, I'm on top of Bubbles.
Now, Bubbles, it's been a long time since Trustee has been on a horse, so go slow.
Okay, but just so you know, I have four speeds.
Smarty Pants, what are the four speeds for horses?
Is it A, slow, medium, fast, and really fast?
B, walk, trot, canter, and gallop?
Or C, pony, bronca, Mustang, and Pegasus?
If you said B, walk, trot, canter, and gallop, you're right.
These speeds, from slowest to fastest, are called paces or gates.
And when horses canter or gallop, something really cool happens.
All four feet come off the ground at one time.
No Pegasus wings needed.
Yeah, I'm not ready for that.
A walk it is. Just out of curiosity, how fast can a horse gallop?
The average horse, like me, can run around 30 miles per hour, or 48 kilometers per hour.
But racehorses can zoom around the track as fast as 44 miles per hour, or 70 kilometers per hour.
Wow, that's fast. Oh, and speaking of fasts, we're back at the stable.
Time to get brushed and have my carrot.
And I ordered you a pizza, trusty.
Thanks. And thanks for teaching me and the smarty pants about horses.
I feel ready for my trip to the dude wrench.
Awesome, dude. Awesome.
A big shout out to Anya, the animal lover, and her dog Cam in Oregon.
Thanks to your sister Sophie for letting us know how much you love Who's Smarted, and that you've listened to every single episode.
Because you're an animal lover, we had to put your shout out on an animal episode.
Hope you loved it. This episode, Horses, was written by Stable Sarah Sweetek, and voiced by Jina Heyride Hoban, Sheffield Chetland Chastain, Adam Trotz Davis, and Jerry Kolber.
Technical direction and sound designed by Josh Hahn.
Who's Smarted is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios.
Our associate producer is Max Kamaski.
The theme song is by Brian Suarez, with lyrics written and performed by Adam Text Davis.
Who's Smarted was created and produced by Adam Text Davis and Jerry Kolber.
This has been an Atomic Entertainment Production.
Who's Smarted is recorded and produced by Adam Text Davis and Jerry Kolber.
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