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Hello Lazy Genius listeners I have got something a little different in the feed for you today that I'm so excited to share.
And that is the Moth Podcast. You might be familiar with the Moth.
It has been around forever.
It is a critically acclaimed series where regular people are suddenly storytellers standing alone on a stage under a spotlight with only a microphone and a room full of strangers to hear what they have to say.
Every week the moth presents stories that are funny, strange, heartbreaking, and above all true.
I want to share an episode with you today titled A Family Circus.
You'll hear two heartwarming, hilarious and very relatable stories all about the hectic, maddening, hair pulling side of raising kids.
I laughed, I felt very seen hearing fellow mothers talk about the chaos of motherhood in this unique setting, and I really think you're going to enjoy it.
And for more stories from The Moth, follow The Moth podcast anywhere you get your podcasts.
Take a listen. Do you want to hear something fun?
Yeah. Do you want to hear something fun?
Yeah. So when I'm testing the equipment the question I always ask every single time is, what did you have for breakfast?
So what did you have for breakfast?
I had muffins. Oh. Muffins.
What flavor were they?
I don't think... Banana chocolate chip.
Banana chocolate chip.
That sounds really, really good.
I wish I had banana chocolate chip muffins for breakfast. Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Kate Tellers, your host for this episode.
A little bit ago, we had a Take Your Child to Work Day here at the moth.
There were about seven children in total, including my two little ones, and I had a lot of fun planning.
I even made tiny lanyards for them.
They sat in on a casting meeting, got pizza, and the kids learned a little bit about the intricacies of podcast making.
I learned about podcasts and that the circle thingy is there so that the P words like Peter don't sound weird. Overall, it included lots of the delightful mayhem that is parenting.
As I said during Take Your Child to Work Day...
Just for anyone that's contemplating being an parent, sorry, Anna.
I've just noticed that I sort of took the lead on every part of today except for the podcasting part, and that's all that anyone remembers.
Sometimes the role of being a parent is less visible.
Kudos to Mark, our podcast producer, on an amazing workshop.
What a truly fun day.
So in this episode, we've got two stories about the somewhat overwhelming side of being a parent, the Family Circus, if you will.
First up, we have Mary Lee Carroll.
She told this at an LA story slam where the theme of the night was juggle.
Here's Mary, live, at the MOB.
I have nine brothers and sisters and when I was really little my mother would not make friends with any other lady unless she had at least seven kids because she didn't want to know anybody who had free time so that's how come her circle of girlfriends and there were only six of them but between them they had 50 kids.
So these ladies love to have lunch together on Friday afternoons and I would love it when they would meet at our house because I would kind of watch from the other room and they would laugh and drink sherry and smoke their cigarettes and eat delicious food and they would make all these ridiculous crafts for the Christmas Bazaar at school, like, you know, spray -painted macaroni for ornaments.
And they would really make years and years worth of wreaths out of twisted tin can lids.
And they made so many of these wreaths that they called themselves the can cutters.
And the can cutters met for years and years.
And I, in my innocence, thought it must be really fun to be the mother to a lot of children, so 25 years later I leave the work field and I am at home with two small children like a baby and a toddler and I am so overwhelmed and so out of my depth and so disorganized that I thought how did they do it and I was doing all kinds of ridiculous things, like if I drove the car home.
By the time I unloaded the car and unloaded the babies, I'd be too exhausted to go back out and close the doors to the cars.
And the car would just sit there with the doors open all day long.
Or I'd have to move the dirty dishes out of the way for a place to eat tonight's dinner.
Or one time I even drove home from the super market with a whole bag of groceries on the babies into the car after one of them had a giant tantrum in the store so loud, kicking, screaming, and I'm sweating and embarrassed, and all these old ladies gathered around me to watch me deal with this and say things like, children are such a blessing, and an an obstinate child is a sign of intelligence and you know they grow up so fast don't blink you'll miss something and I, I'm not, it's like oh come on all I could see was 18 more years of this and so I knew I needed help and I knew I needed some wisdom
like how did my mom and all of her can cutter friends do it the way they would laugh they would shriek with laughter like, you're killing me.
And I think, where?
I thought, how did they do it?
And I thought, well, of course, all the can cutters were dead.
And now I know why they all went to early graves.
But one of them was still alive.
Her name was Dorothy.
And I thought, I just need some advice.
I need I need somebody to tell me how to do this better.
And so, Dorothy had had nine children, she's really old now, and I called her and I said can I come talk to you?
And she said, of course, dear come over, and I thought, I was so excited to talk to Dorothy, I thought she is going to give me the secret to how to get on top of my situation here, and so she welcomed me in we settled ourselves with cup of tea I was very excited because I was at the foot of a master since she wasn't my own mother but she was a master.
I said Dorothy how did you guys all cope with so many children and she said well you know we had each other and I said oh no I know I know you had you had you had each other and she says no that's that's more than it seems and I said I know but you didn't have disposable diapers, you didn't have housekeepers, you didn't have preschools.
And I said, how did you actually get it?
She says, well, we had each other.
And I said, Dorothy, I need more than that.
And she looked far off, like her eyes went back over the years.
And then I thought, OK.
And then she leaned in next to me.
I thought, OK, here it comes.
Good, OK, good. So I leaned in, too.
And then she took her old no -nonsense finger and she pointed it at me like this.
She says, that five o 'clock cocktail.
If I couldn't get my five o 'clock cocktail, it was like one of those kids was gonna die!
Dorothy, no! It's got to be something besides that.
And she says, no. And so going home, going home, I thought oh my God, there is no secret here, there's just there's just me and 20 years of chaos, what am I, what am I going to do?
And, and then, and then the best advice from the wisest old woman I know was Like, get some friends and get some gin.
And so but I will tell you, what actually happened to me was that I don't know.
I must have blinked because suddenly, like they were in school.
And then suddenly, they all had their driver's licenses.
And then suddenly, one lives in San Francisco.
One lives in New York.
and one has babies of her own.
That was Mary Lee Carroll.
Mary is a grandmother, a writer and a storyteller.
She calls herself a world traveler, but has never lived further than a mile from where she was born.
Her latest book, Across the Street Around the Corner, just came out and she is an award -winning author of two previous books.
I want to take a minute to shout out to the vital parenting tool that is the text thread.
Since having children I've become a part of several.
My friends, who I knew before they were parents, my friends that I made because we are parents, my sister, who I text about literally anything.
This is the place where we can ask the important questions, these are real, like, help, I locked my children in the bathroom, who is hosting Thanksgiving?
But what are we going to do about the patriarchy?
And help, the school just called to tell me my child stuck a pencil in her butt, and so on.
Up next is PT Smith.
He told us at a Denver StorySlam where the theme of the night was blessings in disguise.
Here's PT live at the MAST. I was born at St. Joseph Hospital, Denver, Colorado, The Eastside.
I was raised in Five Points and I love my neighborhood.
See in the 90s, it was kind of crazy.
The news and different people made it seem like it was a dangerous and harsh place to live.
And don't get me wrong, there were extracurricular activities.
But it was home for me.
And I felt safe. I felt known.
See, the reality is in my hood, I knew the rules.
And every hood comes with rules.
Like, for instance, mind your business.
If you hear a noise in a dark alley, that is between that noise and that dark alley.
So. Another rule that maybe you're not familiar with is you should be aware of what colors you're wearing and where you're at.
Now, you may need a hood specialist's help on this one, so you should maybe acquire one to help you out with your color palettes, okay?
Know that black is always a good choice.
My favorite rule, super -random, super -specific, is if someone comes up to you and says, hey, it's a nice pair of shoes, what size are they?
The only acceptable response is, Yo size, homie.
I'm just playing. Don't do that.
You see, in a hood, if you know the rules in general, you're gonna be okay, and so I wasn't fearful with any hoods, well, except for one.
See, there's only one hood that struck fear in my heart, made me feel despair, made me feel sadness, inadequacy, and that it was fatherhood.
See, yeah, I grew up knowing my, knowing my dad, but not always being raised by my dad, and so I was super uncertain and insecure when it came to this idea of fatherhood.
And most of the kids in my community experience, or at least a lot, experienced the same thing.
And so when my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child, at first I had the same, like, emotions that any new parent is going to have. Like, I was excited.
Man, I was, like, feeling the good nervousness.
I'm thinking I'm going to raise the hell out of this child, okay?
You know what I'm saying?
But shortly after that, those feelings started to fade and other ones came in of, what do you think you're about to do, this idea, this reoccurring dream and thought that you're going to fail this child because you don't know what to do.
So I decided to do some research to figure this thing out, and I started with the local community.
So at the barber shop, I was asking some folks that I knew had kids.
I'm like, hey, man, what's the rules?
Tell me about this whole fatherhood thing.
And I got some of the stupidest answers I've ever heard, OK?
All right, you ready?
Here's the two. One was, uh, don't let your son get both ears pierced.
I was like... Another one was, if you have a girl, you should invest in a lot of guns.
And I was like, these are not helpful.
So I was like, I'm gonna go to the experts, right?
I'm gonna read some books on parenting.
I'm gonna read some books.
And so the first book I tried to read was gentle parenting for dads.
and I'm not hating on gentle parenting, but I was not parented gently.
So it really didn't match up.
So I was like, all right, look, I'm running out of options, this kid is going to be here real soon.
What am I going to do?
And I can remember the day that we went to the hospital and my wife, she was going into labor and I thought, hey, labor could take a while.
And so maybe they have like, a class here that they give And I'm like, okay.
Because they're not going to just give you a kid, right?
Turns out if they did I would have missed it anyway because my wife's labor was actually really quick, actually so quick that when the doctor got in the room he had time to take off his coat, wash his hands, scrubs, gloves, and then he like one hand caught my son as he was being born.
I was like, man, you might play on Sundays.
And it was really amazing.
It all happened really fast. And then time kind of slowed down.
And I see him. He's making this twisted face as he's looking at my son.
And he looks at the nurse and he's like, you need to get this kid to ICU.
He's not breathing well.
And y 'all, time stopped and my heart froze.
Because I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a dad.
Because I didn't know if I could do it.
I didn't know the rules.
Even being in that room, I felt nervous.
I didn't know what was going on.
And so they swaddle my son and they put him in this little glass case on wheels and they roll him out and I look at my wife and she looks at me like, go after them.
And so I'm running behind the nurse, y 'all, and I'm praying.
I'm praying as hard as I've ever prayed in my entire life.
I'm like, Lord, I would do anything.
If this kid needs my heart, he can have my heart.
If he needs my eyes, he can take my eyes.
would do anything just let him be okay." And we get into the ICU room and it turns out that my son just has a flair for the dramatics because he was breathing fine.
And so they swaddle him back up again and they let me hold him for the first time.
And I'm looking in his eyes and I realized that fatherhood doesn't need to come with rules it actually only needs to come with one thing, and that's love.
Thank you. That was PT Smith.
PT is a proud product of the hood he grew up in and now serves the youth and young adults in his community.
He is most proud of being able to have an amazing marriage for the last nine years and being the father of Pierre 7, and Ms. Parker 3.
Before I leave you, remember how the kids at the Moth's Take Your Child to Work Day were learning about podcasts?
Well, stick around for the credits.
You might hear some fun new voices reading them.
That's it for this episode.
From all of us here at the Moth, however you parent or do not parent, we hope that you can find beauty in life's circus.
Kate Tellers is a storyteller, host, senior director at the Moth, and co -author of their fourth book How to Tell Our Story.
Her author writing has been featured on McSweeney's and The New Yorker.
She is also our mom!
This episode of the Moff podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Genes, Sarah Jane Johnson, that's my mom, and Mark Selinger.
The rest of the Moths leadership team includes Sarah Habermann, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Marina Clouche, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant Walker, Leanne Gulley, and Aldi Khalsa.
The Moth would like to thank its supporters and listeners.
Stories like these are made possibly by community giving.
If you're not already a member, please consider becoming one or making a one -time donation today at themoth .org slash giveback.
All Moth's stories are true as remembered by their storytellers.
For more about our podcast and information on pitching your own story and everything else go to our website themoft .org.
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