Welcome to the Listening Time podcast.
Hey everybody, this is Connor and you're listening to episode 181 of of the Listening Time podcast.
I hope you're all doing great.
In today's episode, we're gonna talk about using bad words in English.
When I say the phrase bad words, I'm referring to curse words or cuss words, as we might say.
So these words that are considered to be vulgar, explicit, you know what I'm talking about.
You have them in your language and we have them in English.
So this is a very important topic to talk about here on this podcast, because all of you are learning English.
And many of you are probably tempted to learn curse words and to incorporate them into your English.
And I have kind of maybe, a unique opinion about this.
Unique in the sense that I'm sure many other online English teachers disagree with me about this and I'm sure you might disagree with me about this.
But, as I mention all the time on this podcast, it's great to practice being able to listen to people that you disagree with.
I do this all the time.
It helps me.
It's good for you to do this as well.
And even if you disagree with me about this, this episode will still be good practice for your listening.
So I'm going to talk about using bad words in English and why not. this might be a bad idea for you.
So we'll talk about that in just a minute.
But before that, remember that you can access my training for listening and pronunciation, my seminars in which I help you.
I'll see you next time.
That's great practice for your listening.
And then the next step after that is to use my US Conversations podcast, in which I talk to other people from around the country, other native speakers, and I provide the transcript for you, with definitions of key words and phrases.
So it's a lot of fun.
It's great practice for you.
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All right, let's get started.
Are your ears ready?
You know what time it is.
It's listening time.
Okay, let's talk about using curse words in english.
So many people are interested in incorporating curse words into their english when they're learning english so that they can sound more like native speakers.
They can access the humor in the language.
They can have a different effect on people when they speak and I definitely understand this desire.
We all desire to be able to talk like a native speaker, using their slang, knowing the curse words they know, being able to use that for humor, to be funny, to fit in.
I definitely understand that.
However, I do want to warn you that there can be some negatives to incorporating curse words into your English as an English learner okay.
And like I said, many of you will probably disagree with me.
That's fine, but I want to give you this warning, because it's at least something that's good for you to think about.
And, being perfectly honest, even as a native English speaker, I try not to use explicit words, curse words in English.
So I'm a little bit biased when it comes to this because I
I don't curse in my own language, so you might think that that's why I'm telling you not to curse to cuss in English either.
By the way, cuss can be used as a verb.
This just means to say bad words.
So you might think that I'm telling you not to cuss in English because I don't like cuss words.
That's not the case.
I'm going to approach this from a different perspective, okay?
I acknowledge that I have my own personal preference as well, but I'm gonna go beyond that and give you a couple warnings.
So many native speakers, many English speakers do not like bad words, okay?
I can't really speak for other countries and other languages.
I don't know about this because I'm only a native English speaker.
However, I can say that, at least in the US, there is a pretty large percentage of the population that finds it inappropriate to use bad words.
And maybe in your language it's not that big of a deal and everyone cusses.
I don't know, but I'm talking about English here.
There are many people in the U.S. that dislike these cuss words.
And English learners need to know this, okay?
You can't assume that everyone is going to find it funny when you use a cuss word in English, okay?
And the people that don't find this funny and don't find it appropriate.
They often find these words crass and vulgar.
When something is crass and That means it is not refined.
It's not intelligent.
It sounds dumb, so to say.
It's not very beautiful.
So many native speakers might find cuss words to be vulgar inappropriate dirty crass, and you might not think so.
And that's perfectly fine.
Okay.
You have your own preference.
Other people have their own preference.
And even for me, I'm not someone who cusses a lot.
I try not to.
That doesn't mean that when someone cusses in front of me, I automatically think negatively about them.
Definitely not, because many people cuss in front of me, so that's kind of something I'm used to.
But I might have a slightly negative reaction.
I can't deny that.
I think that when someone cusses in a very crass way, a very vulgar way yeah, I do feel negatively in that situation.
And other people feel the same as me.
Again, don't take this the wrong way.
Don't think that if you're talking to me and you use a cuss word, I'm gonna think negatively about you.
No, I'm just saying that a certain type of cussing can definitely sound vulgar, and it's maybe not what is very pleasant for me.
I'm not saying that my view is correct or not, or that it's correct or incorrect to use cuss words, because we are the ones that give meaning to these words.
These words by themselves don't mean anything.
We are the ones that ascribe meaning to.
When you ascribe meaning to something, that means that you are applying this meaning to that thing.
So you will probably meet many native speakers that like cussing and that won't be offended by you cussing.
And then you won't have to worry about this.
And even if you talk to people like me, you can cuss all you want.
It's fine, right?
It's not a problem.
But there are some people that really dislike this, okay?
If they hear certain curse words, they will cover their child's ears, right?
They will not want to be in that room.
For them, it's inappropriate to hear that.
And so I'm saying all this because it's important for you, as a non-native English speaker, to know the effect of your words and how they might sound to native ears.
This is something that's very hard to imagine.
For me, for example.
I speak Spanish and I speak pretty well and I can easily cuss in Spanish if I wanted to.
And I've done so before.
I've done this.
I've cussed in Spanish before.
I've done that.
And I can't 100 say that I know the effect of that cuss word on native ears because I am not a native speaker.
So these cuss words sound differently to me.
In fact, when someone is talking to me in Spanish and they cuss...
I don't have the same reaction as when someone speaks to me in English and cusses.
I have a much more powerful reaction to a cuss word in English than in Spanish, because that cuss word in English has so much more depth and meaning for me as a native speaker.
It's not just a funny sounding word like in Spanish.
Does that make sense?
I'm sure you feel the same.
If you say a cuss word in English, it probably doesn't feel the same way as when you say a cuss word in your own conversation in your native language, right?
And I've gotten in trouble with this before.
I've used words that aren't necessarily terrible words, but I didn't know the impact of that word on the native speaker's ears who I was talking to.
And they kind of looked at me like, wow, why did you say that?
And that's because I can't fully understand the effect of that.
I'm not a native speaker.
My level isn't sufficient enough, where I perceive things the same way that a native speaker perceives them.
And so the same goes for you.
You might say something in English and you might use a cuss word in your sentence and the native English speaker who's talking to you might kind of be taken out of the conversation for a second while they think of the word that you just used.
So I'm speaking from experience here.
I've had tons of students over the years.
I've had many thousands of hours of conversation with people from all over the world and I've had many people use cuss words while they're speaking in English to me.
And I have to say that in a large number of those cases It actually sounds awkward, or it sounds awful even sometimes.
Not always.
Some people that have a very high level uh and have a very intimate knowledge of uh, how these words feel and in what situations they're used in, and they can read the native speaker better and see if they're open to hearing that word used or not.
I've had students like that for sure.
So it doesn't always sound bad, but I would say that a large percentage of the time it actually doesn't sound very good when a non-native speaker uses these curse words.
And that's not me just being biased and saying oh, I don't like curse words, because when a native speaker uses curse words to me, sometimes I might not like it if it sounds very vulgar, but I wouldn't say it sounds bad in the sense that I'm like removed from the conversation and then like I can't even focus on the rest of the sentence because it was such an awkward usage of the word.
That doesn't happen when it's a native speaker.
I might not like the way they said the sentence, but it's not the same reaction.
I'm talking about when I'm having a conversation with a non-native speaker and they use a cuss word.
That just really surprises me and doesn't seem like it fits in place with their speech in that sentence.
And it surprises me and it sounds really awful.
And so let me just talk about why it sometimes sounds awkward or even awful.
I think one of the main reasons is that non-native speakers are often unaware of the magnitude meaning, like how strong this word actually is.
They don't really have that very detailed knowledge and feeling of how that word really feels when you hear it and in what situations it goes well and when it doesn't.
And it often doesn't have the effect that you think it has as a non-native speaker.
So it's like I'll hear someone say a sentence and then in the middle of their sentence they have this cuss word.
That sounds way too strong for like what they're saying.
This happens all the time.
And it takes me out of the conversation.
And I go, whoa, that was really strong.
And that's because the student doesn't realize that that cuss word doesn't go well in that tone of the sentence.
Right.
Like that cuss word was way too powerful for that phrase that they were using.
Does that make sense?
Sometimes they get it right and they use a cuss word that has a very effective meaning with the sentence that they use and it actually works.
But in many cases, it's not this and they misjudge the effect of that cuss word.
They don't know how strong it is. and if it makes the rest of their sentence seem strange.
And another reason why it can sound awkward when someone who is a non-native English speaker cusses is that when the rest of your sentence has errors in it, when you're making mistakes, it sometimes sounds a little strange when you use a cuss word in there.
And the reason for that is that cussing and maybe slang and using certain idiomatic expressions oftentimes these are things that feel like you can use them once you've mastered the rules.
It's kind of like when we say that you break the rules once you've actually mastered them.
If you haven't mastered the rules and you break the rules, it's kind of sloppy.
Sloppy means that something is messy.
It's not done orderly.
So, like when I was in film school, I remember my teachers would say before you break the rules and do things that are very bizarre and strange, you first need to master the rules.
Otherwise, it won't be effective.
It will be strange to see your film.
And I think that's a good lesson to apply to language learning.
I'm not saying that you need to completely master English before you use slang and cuss words.
No.
But what I'm saying is that if you speak with many mistakes in your sentences and and then you try to use a word or an expression that sounds very, very native and it's something that we wouldn't expect from someone who is learning the language it can take us by surprise and sound a little bit funny.
It's like when we hear a non-native speaker cuss, we sometimes laugh because it is so surprising.
We're not expecting that, right?
Whereas when a native speaker cusses, we don't necessarily laugh.
It's just a normal thing to hear a cuss word in the sentence.
But when we know someone is learning the language and They're just in the process of trying to say sentences correctly.
We don't expect to hear this explicit word used.
Does that make sense?
Don't be offended by what I'm saying.
If you cuss with your English, I'm not saying that's wrong.
I'm just trying to help you see it from this perspective.
I think it's a good thing to take this into consideration and know that just because you're using cuss words and really hip slang, it doesn't necessarily mean that your English sounds better and more current.
Because if the rest of your sentence is unnatural or has errors, it kind of just sounds strange.
OK, so I would say to focus a little more on speaking more accurately, getting more practice.
And when you hear a phrase with a cuss word, maybe that your teacher uses and maybe you know oh, I can use that phrase.
I really understand that phrase.
Maybe you will be better able to use that phrase and just copy what the native speaker says, if you really feel like you want that effect of that phrase.
But it's probably not a good idea to just take a bunch of different cuss words and try to insert them into your speech to sound more native.
That doesn't work right.
So just to summarize that point, if you hear a phrase that has a cuss word in it you've heard that phrase many times you can kind of get the effect of it, you feel the humor in it, or whatever.
It's probably safe to reproduce that phrase in that same type of context.
But you're probably going to run into problems If you just learn the different cuss words and try to put them into your sentences for effect.
That's when you can kind of go wrong.
And like I said, you might use a word that is a lot stronger than what you think, right?
I'm not going to say this word here on this podcast, but I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about when I say the F word right?
The bad word that starts with an F.
You probably hear this all the time in movies and TV shows made in the US.
And so I hear non-native speakers just use this word over and over again.
And this can really offend native speakers.
This is a really strong word. if used in certain contexts.
In other contexts, maybe not as much.
But if you don't know these different contexts well, if you don't have this feeling, you can definitely offend native speakers by using this word over and over again.
If there's someone that finds it vulgar.
Again, I'm not saying this is right or wrong.
I'm just talking about preferences here.
And I'm trying to help you so you don't run into these situations.
Because I've had this before where...
I'm listening to a non-native speaker speak English and they throw in the F word like three times in three sentences.
And I can't even like focus on the rest of what they're saying because it's just so striking.
It's such a powerful word and they haven't mastered the usage of it.
They don't understand the magnitude of that word.
So that's kind of the warning I wanted to give.
Again, many people will disagree with me about this.
And if you disagree with me, that's perfectly fine.
Okay, you have every right to disagree with me about this.
And maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe this idea isn't so correct.
I don't know.
I'm just talking from my experience of what I've noticed.
And I've heard other people talk about this too.
So I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
But I think it's good that you hear this warning, just so that you know that if you curse in English, you should keep these things in mind.
I'm not saying that you can't do it, just keep these things in mind.
They'll help you through this process.
Okay, so hopefully this was interesting for you and helpful for you.
If you want my help with your pronunciation and with your listening skills, then make sure to check out my membership.
I have a lot of training in that membership that can help you improve your pronunciation and your listening.
And for Listening Time, family members, you also get my advanced podcast.
You get two new advanced episodes every month and that will help you get accustomed to fast English.
And of course, you have my U.S.
Conversations podcast available if you're interested in it.
That is a podcast in which I talk to people from all over the United States.
We have a lot of fun.
I provide you the transcript with the definitions of key words and phrases, to help you follow along as well.
So the link is down below.
So that's available for you if you're interested in that.
All right.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode.
And I'll talk to you on the next episode of Listening Time.
