The doctors found a blood clot in my arm, and it was threatening to travel to my lungs.
And my first reaction was to, that was one moment where I caught myself and felt like something is really wrong with my sense of priorities right now.
Anne -Laure Lecombe is a French Algerian neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and writer.
After leaving a prestigious role at Google, she founded Ness Labs, pursued a PhD in psychology and neuroscience and champions this idea that life is a series of curious experiments rather than a linear path in her new book, Tiny Experiments.
A scientist doesn't feel like a failure when they get an unexpected result.
And this is something that they can learn from and use to design their next experiment.
And all of this leads to a different philosophy.
I wish I could tell you that I went from this moment of realization to then starting straight away to experiment more and live more freely but that's not what happened so you know those moments when you're just craving something that feeds both your mind and soul that's exactly what happened when i started listening to self -conscious with chrissy on audible it's this just wonderfully fresh take on wellness where chrissy brings her signature humor and realness to conversations about personal growth and what makes the show special it's how it really just creates this judgment -free space where we
can all explore what it means to grow and evolve.
Each week, she sits down with brilliant minds like Mel Robbins and Adam Grant, turning complex ideas into practical wisdom that we can actually use in our daily lives.
Think of it as having coffee with that friend who just always knows how to make you feel seen and understood while also teaching you something new about yourself.
The conversations are honest, sometimes vulnerable and always illuminating.
So are you ready to join the conversation?
Visit audible .com slash Chrissy Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts and start listening today.
New episodes drop each week.
Good Life Project is sponsored by wonderful pistachios.
I am always looking for super yummy snacks that are packed with nutrients, especially protein.
And I've been thinking about how those small daily choices add up to helping you feel your best.
That is why I'm a longtime fan of wonderful pistachios.
pistachios. Each one ounce serving packs six grams of protein.
That's over 10 % of your daily value, making it one of the highest protein nuts out there.
Plus, they bring this perfect combination of protein and fiber and better for you unsaturated fats that help keep me feeling fuller longer.
And what really clicks for me is also how they just kind of fit into any moment, whether you're deep in creative work or sharing stories with friends or outside.
I often take these in my pack when I'm hiking.
If you're looking just for grab and go ease, there are no -shells varieties give you all that nutrient -rich goodness without missing a beat.
And come on, they just taste amazing.
So if you're ready to elevate your snacking, visit wonderfulpistachios .com to learn more.
Good Life Project is sponsored by VSL Probiotics.
So you know that feeling when your gut just isn't happy and everything else just feels kind of off?
Whether you're dealing with occasional digestive issues or managing more complex gut health challenges, finding the right support makes all the difference.
That is where VSL Probiotics steps in with their scientifically backed approach to gut health.
VSL number three is the number one gastroenterologist recommended multi -strain probiotic brand specifically formulated with eight powerful probiotic strains to support those managing IBS and UC.
And for everyday wellness and digestive balance, their newer offering VSL for gut, It delivers those same complementary strains in a daily supplement designed for regularity and gut harmony.
Both options reflect decades of scientific expertise and a deep understanding of what your gut needs to thrive.
Visit them at vslprobiotics .com today to learn more.
I was working at Google.
I had a really good career there, good salary, good team.
I was working on interesting projects and I had a health care where the doctors found a blood clot in my arm.
And it was threatening to travel to my lungs, but they said, don't worry if we schedule the surgery pretty soon, it will be okay.
So let's do that. Right.
And my first reaction was to open my laptop and check my calendar.
So I could make sure to schedule this when it would not disrupt any of the product launches that we had planned with the team.
That was the first thing I thought about.
How can I make sure that I'm not disrupting work for others.
So that was one moment where I caught myself and felt like something is really wrong with my sense of priorities right now.
I might be a bit too focused on my career.
And the other moment was a few months later.
So I did the surgery.
It went well. And I went back to France to visit my parents for Christmas.
And someone in my family asked, how's life?
And I don't know why, but for the first time, I really listened to the question and And I paused and I asked myself, how is life really?
And on the surface, it was great.
Work was great. Again, I was living fairly excited.
I was living in San Francisco, working for one of the best tech companies that you could work for at the time.
But I felt a little bit empty.
And this is when I started questioning my path.
What was it? What was the feeling when you sort of pause for that moment?
This is going to sound like a weird question, but what was the feeling of emptiness for you?
I describe it as being bored out and as if someone had spoiled a movie for you and told you how it finishes.
And all of a sudden, you're not really interested in watching the movie anymore.
That's how I felt like I had this sense of clarity as to where my career could go, the steps that I had to follow, what success looked like, what was expected from me.
all of the rules of the game were pretty clear to me but because of that there was no sense of excitement of wonder anymore i'm really curious now did you have sort of growing up did you have an ideology or a sense of philosophy of what quote work was supposed to be like in life that came from family or friends or local community that you kind of tracked yourself into and said i'm doing the thing um before this happened oh absolutely i think it's very rare for to meet people who are not in that situation a lot of us end up following the scripts that we've been taught unconsciously and i was a very
curious kid as most kids are if when you asked me when i was a kid what i wanted to be when i grew up i said uh a writer or a paleontologist so you know i was keeping my options quite open but coming from an immigrant background my parents really pushed me to optimize for safety and stability making sure that I would always have a roof over my head and food on the table these were the factors I was optimizing for and so I chose my studies and I chose my first job and I designed my career around optimizing for safety.
So when your home and this person asks you how how you are and you pause for a moment and you realize okay on paper objectively i've checked all the boxes that i was supposed to check you know but why am i not feeling the way that i'm feeling um where do you go from there you know like because if you've sort of like you've tracked it and you know grabbed the brass ring and you got it um was it disconcerting for you to sort of like in that moment say, what's happening here?
It was, and that's what's interesting is that I wish I could tell you that I went from this moment of realization to then starting straight away to experiment more and live more freely, but that's not what happened.
I realized something was wrong.
And so I said, that's probably a sign that I need to quit my job and I need to start something new and I need to build my own thing.
And so I quit my job at Google and I started a startup.
What I didn't realize at the time that I know now is that I was yet again following another script because that's what a lot of people around me were doing.
You start your job at a big tech company, you stay for long enough that you can save a bit of money and build your network, and then you raise money and you start a startup to save the world.
Anything less than that is failure.
So I followed that script again and it's only when my startup failed that I found myself again in that state of, okay, what next?
But this time around, I decided to really sit with the uncertainty to really explore it and not try to just go and do the next logical thing that you're supposed to do when you're feeling this way.
Yeah. I mean, it is so interesting the way you describe it, because, you know, I think maybe if you're, especially if you're not in the tech industry and you look at somebody who's at Google building this incredible career and then decides to just completely leave, walk away and start their own business, a lot of people raise an eyebrow and say, how could you ever do that?
But in the space that you were living in, in the tech world, that's actually a pretty normal linear path.
You know, it's almost like the equivalent of the investment banking path.
You know, like you sort of, you know, you go, you become an analyst and then you go, you get your MBA and then you go back and you become like deeper embedded.
And then you go out and oftentimes start your own thing or start your own firm or like, um, and even though you're doing your own thing, it's actually like really following a script still.
Um, so when, when that startup fails then, I mean, imagine it was just brutally hard for you anyway, because then when you have your own thing that fails, I have been through that it's not fun um how do you how do you think through at that point how to do the next move differently yeah i um it was very difficult but once i had processed the grief because that really what the emotion was like it really felt like grief when my startup failed i actually felt a sense of freedom that was very surprising to me i did not expect that that was going to be the next emotion to show up after grief.
Freedom to do whatever I wanted to do, but also a little bit of fear around this freedom because all of a sudden I didn't have a next step, didn't have a blueprint and didn't want to follow a script.
So what I did was that I went back to the drawing board, and I ask myself, what would you be interested in exploring, even if nobody was watching, even if money was not part of the equation, even if you removed any kind of thoughts around outcomes and success and achievements?
What is something that you would like to explore if you could just wake up in the morning and do that thing just because you want to do it and you're curious about it in and of itself?
And for me, that had always been the brain.
I had always been curious about why we think the way we think and feel the way we feel.
And so I decided in my late twenties to go back to university and study neuroscience, which also raised a few eyebrows actually, because a lot of people around me said, what are you doing?
You don't become a neuroscientist at that age, right?
those are very long studies.
Don't just do that.
Maybe pick something easier.
And going back to university, how are you going to pay for this?
And so it just maybe looked a little bit crazy from the outside, but it felt really grounded for me because I knew I had made this decision, not based on trying to achieve a certain version of success or following a certain script, but Just because that was generally the thing I was the most curious about in that specific moment.
Yeah. I mean, that's such a powerful move when you reach that moment where you decide that the script of others' expectations is no longer going to guide your choices in your work and your life.
But that is a brutally hard thing for most people to do.
There's so much, you know, there's fear of being rejected, fear of being outcast from the people you want to be seen as, you know, like being the accomplished one, the smart one, the one who's like doing all the good things.
Did you have any sort of internal battle when people were really raising an eyebrow and questioning this?
In that moment, I felt so strongly about my decision that it was actually fine.
But in the years afterwards, especially when I talked to former colleagues who stayed at google and had another promotion and a raise and then they bought their house their first house and then their second house and uh or other startup founders that i knew um who their first startup failed but they tried again and the second one was successful and obviously you're going to compare yourself to these other people and and you'll have your moments of doubt so i never tell people that it's about getting rid of doubt it's really not about getting rid of that i think if you're a human being, you are going to
experience doubt. We're social creatures and we're going to actually keep on comparing ourselves to each other.
It's more about the response that you have when you experience that kind of doubt and uncertainty and embracing it as part of the process, knowing that it's normal and that actually it might be a signal that you're doing something interesting.
Yeah, I love that. And that's been a big part of the way that I tend to look at work and life as well.
But we are, I remember doing research on this years ago when I was working on a book, and it was all about how we deal with uncertainty in high -stakes environments.
And you can see fMRI studies where the fear centers of the brain light up.
And this is something you talk and write about as well.
And we're literally, we're softwired to have this physiological and neurological response that makes us want to run from uncertainty.
So walk me through some ideas and some sort of like strategies, because everybody's going to experience this when we start to think about doing something that's maybe not the mainstream.
Take me into this a little bit more about how we sort of explore handling that psychology and physiology.
I think two things.
The first one is just in the way you approach experimentation in general in your life.
I took that big leap.
I don't think I had to do that, right?
It is absolutely possible to experiment in areas of your life where it might feel a little bit more comfortable and elicit a little bit less fear.
So you could say, I'm actually happy to stay in that linear career where I know what I'm doing.
I like my team. It's a good salary.
But now that I have this sense of safety here, I might be able to experiment in other areas of my life.
Maybe I'll experiment with health, the way I push myself and challenge myself in terms of running or different types of sports.
Maybe I'll experiment when it comes to my creativity, to side projects, how I show up in my community, how I build my network, in my relationships.
So you don't have to experiment with absolutely everything and you don't have to take a crazy leap and quitting your job or anything like that in order to experiment.
So I think in terms of managing that fear in the first place maybe you don't have to put yourself in a situation where it's overly scary but there's still going to be always a little bit of fear when you do something new when you're you're uncomfortable i think understanding why you're feeling this way from a neurophysiological perspective can be helpful from an evolutionary perspective it makes sense that when we feel like we don't have enough information we don't understand what's in front of us we want to get out of there as quickly as possible.
And when we were in the jungle, not knowing who the other players were, what that noise in the bushes was and where the resources were could actually mean death.
So your brain is also optimized for your survival.
And so knowing that that's a natural reaction, this fear is natural, but that today in your modern environment, your ambition is not just to survive, but to thrive.
And so you want to play with that fear.
And again, from a neurophysiological perspective, something we can do that to the extent that we know other mammals cannot do is that we're able to practice what is called metacognition, which is observing your own thoughts.
And so you can actually decide to have this activation in your prefrontal cortex where you look at the fear and you say, hello, old friend, you're back.
What do we do? What are you trying to tell me?
Why are we feeling this way?
So it's a little bit like I describe it like a two -step dance in the book where you are able to move through really trying to understand the subjective experience of fear and then working on the objective consequences.
It's something really scary happening that you need to deal with?
Or is it just this kind of primal fear that we all experience when we do something new?
Yeah. And I think we will all experience that at some point.
I mean, maybe it's not your work or your job.
Maybe it's literally just approaching somebody you're interested in for friendship or romance, like at a dinner party or when friends are around.
We don't know if it's going to work out.
We don't know if they can reject us or accept us.
There are these micro -social moments all the way up to the really big things in life where the stakes are incredibly high, but it's like our brains still go to that same place.
So you've described this experience where you're tracking in this linear life, this path, doing all the right things, quote, succeeding by everybody else's metrics.
And then you decide to go a completely different direction.
Take me more into this notion of the linear life, because this was something that you were living.
But this is something that you write and speak about.
This is a really broad phenomenon.
This is sort of like there's a philosophy or there's a way that you're, quote, supposed to build your life and your living that so many of us buy into.
Map this out a little bit for me.
I think about it as a mental model, like how you visualize your life.
I think the way we visualize it and that has a lot of downstream consequences on literally everything and all of the decisions we make.
a lot of us think about our lives and success in general as a ladder that you're supposed to climb.
And so you're supposed to go through each step, each rung of the ladder.
And a little bit like in a video game, you're supposed to collect all of the points and the artifacts at a certain level, and then you're allowed to move on to the next one.
And so you try to climb this ladder and ideally get to the top before you die.
That's the idea. And this seems like such a simple mental model and such a harmless one.
But actually, when you think about the way it makes us navigate life, it again has a lot of consequences.
One of them is that we keep on comparing ourselves to each other because it's very easy if we all have our ladders next to each other to just look right and left and ask yourself, am I going fast enough?
Am I high enough on this ladder?
How come this person that was in school with me is already there and I'm still here.
So that linear approach really creates comparison, social comparison.
So that's one thing.
The other one is that it's based on a lot of assumptions.
It's based on the assumption that if you get to a specific point, a specific outcome or milestone, you'll be happy.
We all know that once we've had several experiences of success, we all know that that's not the case.
You get there and you realize that, oh, I'm still the same person.
My problems are still here.
I'm not particularly ecstatic to be here.
And once you have this sense of short -lived achievement, what you do is just feel like, Oh, but maybe I'm not on the right rung yet.
I need to climb a little bit higher and then I'll be happy.
The other assumption it makes is that you know what outcome you want.
And that's the one that I feel like is the most dangerous.
It assumes that the person you are today can imagine the kind of success that you're capable of.
And so you design your outcomes, your goals based on what you think is possible.
But the person you're going to be in two years or three years or five years is going to know a lot more things, have more skills, have more experiences, know more people, have lived more and will be able to imagine more.
So to me, a ladder is, and this linear model is optimizing for achieving a very narrow definition of success where you might get to that place that you have predetermined before you got started.
But it's going to limit what you're capable of.
And what you ideally want to do in life, I think, is design your life in a way where when you look back in five years or in 10 years, you feel like, huh, I had no idea the place I'm in right now existed.
I had no idea I could get here.
No, I think that resonates so deeply.
I think so many of us, we pursue our lives and our livings in chasing a feeling that we think we'll want to have 10 years from now.
If our life looks a certain way, if our work looks a certain way, if our health and relationships look a certain way.
and assuming that we know like we know ourselves we know the thing that we want we know the way that we want to feel and we know the things that will make us feel that you know like five years 10 years 15 years maybe even 20 years out um and all the research says it's completely wrong i remember years ago reading dan gilbert's you know work on effective forecasting he's like we are literally worse at predicting how we'll feel you know like at a certain point in our future is then we ask if we ask a total stranger who's in that similar situation 10 20 years from that like they'll actually be more
accurate and like describing how we would probably feel but we think we're really good at it like we really delude ourselves and think like no we know we know ourselves but we really don't we're so bad at it because we feel like it's also the the illusion that we feel like the more information we have, the more clarity we'll have about the future.
And so we think that I know myself, right?
Which again, is another assumption.
A lot of us don't know ourselves very well either, but also, yeah, we don't know what's in front of us and how each experience and each person we meet is going to shape us in ways that are impossible to imagine for us today.
That makes so much sense to me, you know?
And tell me if this is right.
I think what I'm reading from what you're describing here is that we end up effectively doing harm to our future selves by limiting all the actions we're taking now to just tracking along this one sort of like linear path that we think will get us to this place and make us feel the way we want to feel.
and we don't realize that a we probably won't feel that way even if we get it and b we kind of put blinders on and then ignore all the other possibilities that may be so much more energizing and fulfilling for us and does that make sense absolutely and uh and again there's research on this but also you don't even need to read a research paper if you go and grab someone a little bit older and ask them if they have any regrets in terms of the way they live their lives.
A lot of them will tell you that they regret that they didn't pursue that random thing they were curious about, that they didn't explore more, they didn't jump on that plane to visit that country and take that holiday, even if their boss said that we were busy at work, right?
None of them will tell you that they regret not sticking better to the career ladder that they were supposed to climb at work.
So I think at an instinctive level, we know this, but again, the fear of uncertainty and this illusion of control that we cling to, feeling like we can predict what we want and what the future will look like is so strong that despite the intuition that this is really not the right way to design our lives, a lot of us still cling to the linear model.
Yeah, we want that safety.
We want the feeling of ground beneath our feet.
In my very early career, I was a lawyer and working in a large firm in New York.
And a couple of years in, I decided to leave.
And I sent a memo around, which is what you did back then.
Everyone sent a, quote, a departure memo.
It went on everybody's desk.
And most of the memos were like, oh, I'm going to be general counsel in this firm.
I'm going to do all these different things.
And my memo was equivalent to saying, I'm leaving the practice of law to go lead people up mountains and help people.
And, um, and what was interesting, and I'm curious whether you got anything similar at Google when you left the, the response from people who are sort of like at my level, mid -level associates in the firm were kind of like, Oh, what a shame.
Like he couldn't cut it, you know, or he's like, how could you leave?
Like, this is the job that everybody wants.
How could you like leave all of this behind?
And then I got some, some notes from sort of like, you know, like senior partners in the firm who were saying, God bless, go do this, keep me in the loop, tell me how it is.
This is amazing. That was such a huge signal to me.
I wonder if you experienced anything similar, if you've talked to people who've experienced something like that.
That's very interesting because I actually also at Google got really nice notes from very senior people.
And yeah, the number three person at the company sent me an email, replied to my email, and told me to have fun, enjoy, explore.
And it was mostly my friends at my level who were worried for me and who thought that maybe I was making a terrible mistake and who also very reassuringly and kindly told me, you know, if you ever need to come back to Google, we'll help you.
They're there for you.
And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
The Good Life Project is sponsored by Airbnb.
Recently my wife Stephanie and I stayed at this really sweet condo in Telluride, Colorado.
Honestly one of the best places that we have experienced in all of our visits there.
Steps from the lift perfectly positioned downtown with this peaceful creek right outside and a two minute walk from our favorite coffee place.
And the design and the attention to detail were just so thoughtful, truly stood out.
You could tell the owners really cared, we just loved it there.
And it got me thinking about how many of us have our own spaces that could offer others these same meaningful experiences while we're away on our own adventures.
Your home, the one you've carefully curated and made special, could be generating extra income during those times you're off exploring.
So whether you're planning a weekend getaway or an extended journey, why not let your space work for you?
Your home might be worth more than you think.
Find out how much at airbnb .com slash host.
Good Life Project is sponsored by Acorns.
So here's something fascinating.
Apparently, only 48 % of women are investing in the stock market compared to 66 % of men, yet studies consistently show that women make better investors because they do their research rather than acting on overconfidence.
This investing gap means fewer women have the opportunity to build long -term wealth, which can have serious implications for retirement.
Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing in your future.
You don't need to be an expert.
Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals.
You don't need to be rich.
Acorn lets you get started with this spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change.
Sign up now and join over 13 million all -time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns.
Head to acorns .com slash good life or download the Acorns app to get started.
Pay client endorsement, compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns.
Tier one compensation provided investing involves risk.
Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC Registered Investment Advisor review important disclosures at acorns .com slash good life.
Good Life Project is sponsored by BetterHelp.
So, you know, it's kind of fascinating how we celebrate independence in our culture, yet some of the most remarkable breakthroughs happen when we're willing to reach out for support.
I mean, think about it.
Every great leader or artist or innovator has had someone in their corner, helping them process challenges and unlock their potential.
And that's where therapy comes in and BetterHelp makes it beautifully simple.
With over 30 ,000 credentialed therapists available online, BetterHelp makes it so easy to connect with someone who really gets what you're working through.
Whether you're navigating career decisions or relationships or wanting to show up more fully in your life or navigating some anxious times.
So whether you're looking to develop better coping skills, set healthy boundaries, or simply grow into your strong self, there's a therapist who specializes in what matters to you.
So build your support system with BetterHelp.
Visit betterhelp .com slash good life project to get 10 % off your first month.
That's betterhelp .com slash good life project, or just click the link in the show notes.
So when you decide, okay, I've left Google, I've done my own thing.
It didn't work out.
And now I really have to take a different path.
You end up basically creating your own entity, which ends up evolving into Nest Labs and where you're running a lot of experiments, learning, writing, exploring.
You go back to school even to pursue a degree in neuroscience.
And all of this leads to a different philosophy, the experimental life philosophy.
So tell me how this starts to emerge.
For me, it started with going back to school, studying neuroscience and getting reacquainted with the scientific method and the scientific mindset.
And I absolutely fell in love with this way of thinking where instead of reacting with fear when you're faced with uncertainty, you react with curiosity.
Uncertainty becomes almost an opportunity, something that you want to explore, something you want to experiment with.
And that's how scientists design their experiments.
They see something they don't understand and they ask themselves, what kind of experiment can I design around this?
The other thing I really liked was that instead of defining an outcome in advance and saying this is what success looks like, they taught us to start from a hypothesis.
And so you say, I think this might be the case.
I'm not quite sure.
Again, I'm going to try it and I'm going to see what happens.
And that really completely changes your relationship to success because as long as you complete the experiment and you collect the data and you learn something new, whatever the results are.
This is success. You learn something.
And so I started asking myself, how can I start applying this in my own life?
Because the contrast between this approach and the linear approach that I had been following before was so obvious that it felt like an interesting avenue to explore.
And so I started running more and more experiments in my life, personal experiments, really taking that mindset out of the lab and using it in the way I wrote.
So conducting writing experiments and I conducted experiments around meditation.
My current experiment is around walking, just walking more.
And I started writing about it in the newsletter and then a lot of other people joined and decided to also run their experiments with me.
So that's how this entire kind of, I don't really like honestly calling it a method because I tell everyone you should also experiment with the way you do this instead of copy pasting the way I do it kind of meta.
But this, you say philosophy, I think this is the right term.
This is how it emerged.
Yeah. I mean, that makes so much sense to me.
And I love how you took the scientific method and really adapted it for life.
You know, could you imagine a scientist starting like a PhD program saying like, I know exactly what outcome I'm working towards and I've seen it replicated a whole bunch of times before.
So I'm going to do it again myself for the next five years.
I mean, that would be insane.
That's how we live our lives.
Yes. I love that how you're putting it.
And it's true when we say it this way, it actually sounds completely absurd.
And that would explain why so many people get both bored out and burned out at work.
But somehow that's still what we do and what a lot of people decide to follow in terms of path.
Yeah. It's that safety thing, right?
And I guess you could also make the argument that, I mean, there's been a lot of turmoil in the world of science over the last decade or two.
And you can make an argument that some of it is due to people saying, well, I want to actually take the safe option even within the field of research.
I need, how can I create the perception of doing something, but really play it safe so that I'm protected, my lab is protected, my reputation, my salary are protected.
And this is a very human instinct, you know.
And so you've seen that even kind of in moments in the world of science and research.
Absolutely. And I think that's why it's very important, even when you have decided and committed for yourself to living a more experimental life, to still keep on questioning your scripts, questioning your behaviors and your actions.
Because, you know, we talked at the beginning how I thought I was finally free and doing my own thing.
And I didn't realize until later on that I was following yet another script.
And it can absolutely happen that you think you're experimenting.
And really, if you take the time to really look inside, within, and pay attention to where you got that experiment from or maybe what outcome you're hoping to get, then you're not truly experimenting.
You're performing something that looks like an experiment from the outside, but really you're hoping for a very specific form of success.
I mean, in research you call that curve fitting, right?
It's like you're really, you're quote running the experiments, but you're really kind of manipulating the data to get you to the outcome that you want at the end of the day.
So you have, you developed a framework, a really simple and super useful framework to actually run these experiments.
You know, so I'd love to drop into that, kind of walk through the elements of it and then explore what it's like to apply that in different domains of life.
You shorthanded it with the acronym PACT.
So take me into this.
So just like a scientific experiment has a protocol that you write before you get started, I recommend creating a pact.
And I called it a pact because it's a commitment to curiosity.
You commit to completing the experiment, and only when you're done, you will analyze the results and see if you want to keep going or tweak the experiment.
The format of the pact is also inspired by the scientific method in the sense that a scientist, when they design an experiment, they say, we're going to conduct this test and we're going to have this number of trials.
And it's very important to have several trials so you know whether there's actually an effect happening here, right?
And to conduct the same test.
And you do it over several times and you collect that data and then you analyze it.
So a pact follows this very simple format.
You say, I will insert an action for insert a duration.
So action and duration, those are the two ingredients for a pact.
And I mentioned that my current pact, my current experiment that I'm running is around walking.
And my pact is I will walk for 20 minutes every day for 20 days.
So that's an example.
You can do that with literally anything, with your health routine, your diet, your relationships.
I know someone in my community, for example, who realized that they were losing touch with their friends.
And so they designed a pact where they say that every week they will send a voice note to one friend that they haven't talked to in a while.
Just ask for some news and tell them how they were doing.
That was their pact.
So that's a pact, a commitment to curiosity, a commitment to complete your experiment and collect the data, and a commitment to not judge whether it worked out or not until you're done going through all of the repetitions.
So I will and then insert what the thing is for a particular duration and then suspend judgment.
Like, don't try and analyze it along the way while it's happening.
So let's go with that first part, that thing where you're going to say, OK, so this is a experiment.
this is the behavior, this is the action I'm going to take, whatever it may be.
How do we choose that?
Because that in itself is kind of an experiment.
How do we actually decide what is the thing that we want to be the source of the experiment that we want to run?
Yes, it always starts with observation.
Always starts with observation.
And I know for a lot of people, they want to get into the pact and start running the experiment.
But it's very important to have a little phase where you don't do anything, you just observe.
And I call this self -anthropology because that's really the way you want to approach it.
You want to pretend that you're an anthropologist, but with your life as the subject of study.
And just like an anthropologist looks at a new culture and they ask questions like, why are they doing things like that?
Why do they care about this?
Why do they communicate in this way?
Why do they design their days in this way?
You can do the same with your life.
and a simple exercise that you can do is for 24 hours, you literally take field notes, just like an anthropologist.
And throughout the day, you can do that on your phone or if you have a notebook, you can do that.
On your phone is usually a little bit easier.
You take little notes throughout the day and you write things like, oh, I feel like I have a lot of energy after this conversation or I was scared to give this presentation, but actually it was fine.
Maybe I'm really good at this.
or I noticed that I'm not productive at all right after lunch or I snapped back at my spouse when I got back home tonight for no reason at all.
And you can write down those little things and you can ask yourself also, why have I been scheduling those meetings exactly at that time every morning?
Why have I not been taking break?
Why maybe you're eating at your desk.
It can be literally anything that you notice and you write it down.
You would not be able to do that for a week, just for 24 hours, you're an anthropologist observing your own life.
Based on that, you will see it's really incredible.
I've helped already thousands of people run this experiment in the Nest Labs community.
And they all say, it's absolutely incredible the number of decisions that I make subconsciously or that I consider obvious on a day -to -day basis.
I don't even question it.
That's just the way I've been doing things.
And it's eye -opening for a lot of people.
Based on that, you can say, maybe I could do this thing differently.
And that's the beginning of an experiment.
That's the formulation of a hypothesis.
That's just looking at how things currently are and asking yourself how they could potentially be.
If I understand this, then basically you take 24 hours and just jot down all the different things that you're noticing about moments, circumstances, decisions you're making, interactions that you're having.
and probably also note like how they're making you feel and like did it go the way that I would like it to go and then reflect back on that and maybe for the things where it didn't actually feel the way you want it to feel or go the way you want it to go, maybe those become really interesting sources to run experiments around.
Is that right? Absolutely and this is the more active practice of finding experiments but once you're used to looking for experiments everywhere in your life, you'll also have other ways to do it one for me is anytime I say something that sounds like it's a fixed mindset it's a very useful one also a good signal so my meditation experiment for example started after I heard myself say to a friend I'm I'm just not good at meditation it's just not my thing and now whenever I hear myself say something like that I'll go oh interesting why am I so convinced that I'm not good at meditation, maybe I'll
run a tiny experiment.
Yeah. I love that. I had a friend who, she had a rule.
She said, anytime I hear myself complain about something three times, then A, I'm not allowed to complain about it again.
And B, I need to fix it.
Whether it's like something in my own behavior or whether it's something that just bugs you, you know, about the way somebody else does something or product or service.
She's like, I literally like, like, that's my trigger.
Like, there's my rule.
Like I need to run the experiment of like, how can I fix this now?
This is amazing. Yeah.
And, and she literally ended up building like a series of companies in no small part because of that, you know, that brought so much joy to thousands and thousands of people.
So, so, so those are some great ways to think about, okay, so what experiments could I even think about running, you know, because a lot of people probably i would imagine and i'm curious whether you see this you know with the community in neslabs i would imagine a lot of people start out thinking like oh there's this big thing like i need just like one experiment doing completely different job or changing relationships or um but there are probably a lot of just really tiny ones and this is your whole philosophy like literally the name of your book tiny experiments that are going to feel a lot
more accessible and doable to us that would get us into the habit of experimentation.
Does that make sense?
Oh, absolutely. I call this the maximalist brain and it's our tendency to think that we really need to always go for the biggest, most impactful version of whatever project we're starting.
And I see that when people design experiments and this is why I tell them, don't get started yet.
Go back to that place of observation and have a look because very often you'll find very fun, interesting things that could be, you know, the basis for an experiment that might not be the big ambition, the big change that you had thought about in the first place.
So in terms of the kind of experiments that you can run, you can think about different categories in your life as well.
So that could be in your work.
A lot of people do that with the way they manage their time, their productivity, their schedule, their meetings.
So those are some of the easiest ones sometimes to run.
And especially if you're in the kind of work where you have a little bit of freedom over the way you organize your time, you can experiment with relationships.
So I've seen people experiment with saying, okay, for the next two months, every two weeks, we're going to go on a date with my spouse and we're going to alternate.
And one of us is going to organize it for the other one.
And the great thing about that is that you're not committing to it for the rest of your life, right?
You're just saying, let's do it for two months.
And at the end of the two months, we can decide if you want to keep going or not.
Another relationship one is the one I mentioned earlier about reaching out to friends you haven't talked to in a while.
That's a good one too.
You can experiment with your studies, with your health.
You can experiment with even where you live.
A lot of people will want to make a big move to another city.
If you can, and especially if you're in a remote job, it might be interesting to go and experiment and say, for the next year, I will spend one weekend in a different city every month.
And I'm going to go and see if I like it.
If you can afford to do that.
That's the kind of travel experiment that you can run.
So you can really run experiments in all areas of your life.
And whenever you're in doubt in terms of the scope and the duration, always try to think tiny.
What's the tinier version of this that I can run?
Yeah, I love that. So let's dive into the duration side of it a little bit more.
also like as we're having this conversation i'm in boulder colorado um but you know i spent my literally my entire life in new york and my entire adult life in new york city for 30 years and we came out here as a family in september 2020 after new york was a very scary place and we looked at it as an experiment we're kind of like you know what we're going to come out here for two or three months just to see how it feels we and we pretty much assumed that we would love it, but we're New Yorkers.
We'll go back. And four and a half years later, I'm still in Boulder and we're still here.
But had we, I mean, this goes to what you're saying, the psychology of the duration.
Had we at that moment said, okay, let's move to Boulder, Colorado, we would probably look at each other and said, not happening.
There's just no way.
It's too big. It's too disruptive, but we ran this, you know, in our minds, we were committing to a couple of months and that let us say yes to making the change in behavior.
So take me deeper into how we think about choosing what feels like a psychologically sustainable commitment for duration, but also something that's maybe long enough for us to experience, to gather the data that we need to actually like like run a successful experiment as it's uh it's really based on the nature of the the action itself that you want to test in your experiment so if you're doing something daily for example so let's say you want to experiment with going to bed at the same time every evening for two weeks two weeks might be enough a couple of weeks might be enough to start seeing
changes and see if that has any impact on your mood your energy levels right.
If you want to run more of a creative experiment similar to what I did with Nest Labs and you say you want to experiment with a weekly newsletter well obviously you can't do that for just one week and maybe two weeks is not enough so you can commit to maybe six months but maybe you're not quite sure actually and in a lot of cases what's great is that although we're not all climbing the same ladders like in a linear model, it is likely that you're not the very first person ever to come up with that particular experiment.
And so if you know someone who has experimented with something similar, you can actually ask them and say, hey, how long did it take you to feel like you knew whether you wanted to keep going with this thing?
And this person will tell you.
You say, OK, cool. So you're telling me three months.
I'm just going to commit to that three months.
And the great thing about experiments is that if that duration was wrong, if after three months, you're still not quite sure, well, that's an experiment.
So you can say, actually, let's collect more data.
I'm going to redesign my pact and I'm going to say that it's going to be for, I'm going to run it for another two months.
Just see if I feel clearer after two months.
So you can also experiment with the duration of your experiment.
And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
Good Life Project is sponsored by Blue Lizard So living in altitude in Boulder, Colorado You learn pretty quickly that sun exposure is no joke Even in winter, those UV rays They're just incredibly intense And that's where Blue Lizard comes in Making it beautifully simple to protect your skin Their SmartCap technology It turns blue when harmful UV rays are present Giving you that helpful reminder to reapply And their mineral sunscreens are trusted by dermatologists and pediatricians, perfect for sensitive skin, and formulated without parabens or phthalates or fragrances.
With both sprays and sticks, you can stay protected wherever your adventure takes you.
So if you're ready to step out of the shade and live fearlessly in the sun, try Blue Lizard.
Go to BlueLizardSunscreen .com to find out more which sunscreens are right for your family and where you can buy in -store, or visit the Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen Store on Amazon.
Race the rudders! Race the sails!
Race the sails! Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.
Over. Roger. Wait, is that an enterprise sails solution?
Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors.
With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title, and more.
We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
Get started today at linkedin .com slash results.
Terms and conditions apply.
they say opposites attract that's why the sleep number smart bed is the best bed for couples you can each choose what's right for you whenever you like you like a bed that feels firm but they want soft sleep number does that you want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm sleep number does that too why choose a sleep number smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side and now save 40 on the new sleep number special edition smart bed limited time exclusively at a Sleep Number store near you.
See store or sleepnumber .com for details.
You know, as you're describing that, the thing that came to mind for me is we're having this conversation under this umbrella of Good Life Project, which was launched 13 years ago.
People thought I was like a little off my rocker when I actually said, okay, so we're going to start producing video and audio and all this stuff at a time where nobody was doing this in a long form.
but the name of you know what what became a business and a community and all sorts of other stuff has baked into it the notion that from the beginning this has been an experiment it's called good life project rather than you know like uh whatever not having this you know the good life success story is a good life because for from the very beginning I had no idea what was going to happen with this I'm like if I literally just call it a project then I kind of let myself off the hook if i decide six months in a year in two years in okay the project has run this course and who knows like if and when it
will but it really changes the psychology in a powerful way of you being willing to take the first step um and and i found that really um powerful shortly before i started this i started something that nobody knows about called the being project and that was basically me sharing things on back in the day when blogging was a big thing and it started to grow really quickly but i had delusional aspirations around how i would measure growth because i was comparing myself to other friends who are doing something similar in the space so i guess my question around this is how do we set realistic expectations
when we're running our experiments?
How do we measure what the learning looks like, what success looks like for us in a way that is true to us without being caught up in how others have run similar experiments and gotten better or worse results?
Yes. It's really about letting go of the idea of getting to a specific place, a specific destination, because this is what causes a lot of misery.
It's the idea that, and very often, again, copy pasted from others, we see that this person has 100 ,000 subscribers or YouTube followers or that this person is making this amount of money or they have this big house on the other side of town, right?
And we compare ourselves to each other.
Those are specific outcomes.
They're a destination.
And they are what caused this also arrival fallacy where we feel like if only I get there and I just need to work harder.
When you experiment, the only thing you're trying to achieve is to learn more about yourself, about the world, and about your work and your relationships.
You're just trying to learn more.
You're just trying to complete the cycles of experimentation where you just collect data.
So first, there's no specific outcome.
So what are you measuring then?
What you're measuring is based on your hypothesis.
You always start from this hypothesis.
And if when you designed your experiment, it started from this, huh, maybe I would like this.
Maybe I would enjoy that.
Maybe I would be good at this.
Maybe this would make me feel more productive, more creative.
Maybe my mood would be better.
Maybe that would improve communication with my friend or my spouse or my manager.
And you're only testing whether that hypothesis was correct or not.
And so if at the end of the experiment, it turns out the hypothesis was not correct.
So let's say, for example, in my case, I can give you an example of an experiment that could be considered as failed based on the normal definition, traditional definition of success.
As I write a newsletter, I love writing.
And a lot of people around me started YouTube channels and they were very successful with that.
And so I formulated that hypothesis.
Maybe I would like that too.
And maybe this would be a way to engage with more people, connect with other people.
And so I started publishing weekly YouTube videos.
And I said, I'm going to do that for the next six months, which was roughly until the end of the year.
So for the next six months, I'm going to publish one video every week.
What did I measure?
Two things. And I think it's very important to always do that.
Internal and external metrics of success.
So external metrics of success at the end of the experiment were pretty good actually.
I got to about 10 ,000 subscribers, which was fairly good.
People seem to love the videos.
Internal metrics, though, I was dreading it every time I had to sit in front of the camera, every time I had to do it.
And because of that, I was procrastinating on every single other project on the days that I was supposed to film.
And so this was actually having a pretty negative impact across the board for all of my other projects and even my mental well -being.
And so at the end of the sixth month, I said, well, no, actually I'm done.
I don't think YouTube is for me.
I like writing much better.
And so some people might say, oh, she failed.
She tried to build a YouTube channel and she quit after six months.
But to me, that's success because I actually didn't know if I would like it or not, if that was something for me or not before I ran the experiment.
And after the sixth month, I had data, actual real world data based on my experience that was telling me that actually that was not the thing that I wanted to pursue so how do we frame that hypothesis then so that we don't trap ourselves um you know because it like that experiment if we use it as an example you know the you had basically these two measures of whether it was you know like quote successful or not one was external um and like you said that objectively check you know you grew really quickly people were loving what you're doing then there was the internal measure, which is like, how's
it making me feel? How do we frame that in a way where it's a hypothesis and not a want?
It's really this magic keyword, maybe, maybe.
You just start the statement with maybe, maybe if I do this action for this duration, this will happen.
And it might be the case that if I perform this action for this duration, something else will happen.
That's not what I expected.
And that means my hypothesis was wrong, but that's okay.
A scientist doesn't feel like a failure when they get an unexpected result.
And actually they might even celebrate it because they did not see that coming.
That is something new that was outside of the realm of what they expected.
And this is something that they can learn from and use to design their next experiment.
so what happens then when you run an experiment i'll go back to your youtube experiment right you run it you have kind of like two different metrics um and they end up conflicting with each other one is like yay like like um the other is like no um and especially when one of those metrics is something that will get you social acceptance acclaim maybe status maybe money and these are all things that matter to most people even if we say we don't want that to matter they do um it's a really hard dance right just kind of say okay so all these things um like were proven out by this experiment um but there's
one metric like which is really you know like critical to me that is telling me that this is not the thing that i want to move forward with like so you've got to do this dances like how do i how do i resolve this yes i i think you should always optimize for making sure that as a basis at least the internal metrics are aligned and they work there's no point in being successful externally if you're miserable we have so many examples we know a lot of us have probably been through that where again successful externally but feeling very empty or burned out or overwhelmed, right?
So as a basis, having that, those internal metrics sorted out, making sure it feels aligned.
It brings you a certain sense of joy or excitement or curiosity or whatever it is that you want to optimize for at an internal level.
And then for the external metrics, this is where it's interesting, is that once you have that sorted, you can ask yourself whether the external metrics are important or not.
In some projects, the internal metrics are enough.
You're not optimizing for any kind of external success.
You're just trying to maybe explore a new hobby or do something like that, and it doesn't matter how successful it is.
But it might be that in other areas, those external metrics also matter.
I'm going to give you another example, which is not necessarily an experiment, but I think is a good illustration of this where I'm publishing my first book and there are external metrics of success.
There are very clear in terms of book sales and all of that.
And the reason why I'm okay with optimizing for that and working pretty hard actually to make sure that many people get to read my book is because it actually does feel good.
It actually feels good and it gives me a lot of joy.
So I have that basis sorted.
So if you think about the different scenarios you can find yourself in, right?
I would say that if the external is not working and the internal is not working, that's pretty clear you should stop this experiment and this is not working, right?
If the internal is working, but the external is not working, then it's about asking yourself, is that okay?
Is that the kind of project where actually the external doesn't matter?
and if the external is working that the internal is not working i would also argue that something needs to change and it doesn't necessarily mean you need to completely quit the project but you should not keep on going exactly in this way because you're just going to burn out that's the outcome usually that we get when we do that yeah and i think that's the state of so many people's lives you know and in all the different domains there's another really interesting lens that you bring to the notion of just literally living your life as a series of tiny experiments.
And this is the impact on decision making.
We hear that there's decision fatigue with everything.
There's so many things coming at us all day, every day, and we're overwhelmed and we're burned out.
We've got to make a million decisions.
And by the time you get home and you're like, what am I having for dinner?
Literally like you can't function anymore or even decide um so many of us we try to decide about like what's the next step like what do i do with this relationship with this job with my health we try to reason it out we try to think ourselves to the answer um and and i think there is value in trying to like gather data and sort of like okay so let me like like see what the research says and talk to authorities and um but at a certain point you know you get to a place where you can't you can't get to the answer by just thinking your way to it you have to do your way to it so i love that you center
this as a part of the conversation there are actually a lot of decisions that you make in your life where you're wasting a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what the right path is and it would actually not be a big deal if you chose the wrong one you can either backtrack and try the other one or actually continue forward and realize that it was okay.
Both choices were completely fine.
Yeah, I think that is the typical dinner choice also.
Most of the time, you're really gonna be fine no matter what you choose.
But like, you know, so the half hour of angst that you cause yourself, try to figure it out.
It's a half an hour you could have been living your life and doing something else or talking to a loved one.
So as we have this conversation, I'm a little over a year into what I've been calling my two by 20 so I decided that I have a big birthday coming up at the end of this year and two years before that I started asking the question I said do I feel the way I want to feel with the work that I'm doing the way I'm living my life and when I hit this milestone birthday do I want to keep feeling this way I've always had the same philosophy as you.
Like I do pretty much everything in my life, especially in my work life as a series of experiments.
I said, what if I spent two years running experiments to figure out like, what could I learn, do or build over a two -year window that would potentially allow me to step into the next 20 year season of my life, experiencing more joy, more significance, um and more simplicity and what's interesting is that like most people here the two years are like oh that's really cool you're running a series of experiments over two years and some of them have lasted minutes some of them lasted months some of them have cost substantial amount of money some of them are completely free um but people get hung up
on the 20 year thing and i'm curious what your take is on this because as we were discussing earlier in conversation how could you possibly know what something is going to make you feel like you know like 20 years from now but I found it to be a really interesting decision making criteria when thinking about what experiments to choose to fit into this two -year window because it it allows me to eliminate a whole bunch of things that I just know that like there's no possible way this is going to stay in my interest, my curiosity, my passion, my purpose for anywhere longer than, you know, like a hot
minute, let alone a couple of years.
So do I know that anything that I end up with, you know, like is actually going to keep me busy or like really engaged for 20 years?
I have no idea. But using that as decision making metric lets me eliminate a whole bunch of stuff and run experiments that I found really much more valuable and fruitful.
So I'm curious what your take is on that.
Yeah. I think thinking about your experiments in terms of whether they're going to sustain your curiosity for a long time is actually a really good heuristic.
And that's not a problem at all because you're not saying this is the outcome I'm going to have in 20 years.
This is where I'm going to be in 20 years.
You're just saying the person I am today feels like this is the kind of thing I'm curious enough about that it might be able to sustain my curiosity for a long time.
And especially when you're very curious about a lot of different things, that's actually a really good way to make that choice.
I love that. Okay. I feel better now because it's been incredibly useful for me to do this process.
I run so many different experiments now.
Like I said, a lot of them are really tiny and some of them are months long and pretty substantial, but I'm thankful that I said no to way more of them because I had that one decision -making criteria um that let me really do things that are much that i feel are have ended up being much juicier um well i mean i i love the take i love what you bring sort of like the the way that you bring together neurophysiology and this really beautiful it's an elegant philosophy of experimentation it's simple it's meaningful it's impactful anybody can do this and you know when you really zoom the lens out and think about like,
how can I live my life in a way that is maybe more likely to allow me to feel the way I want to feel and keep feeling that way over time?
This feels like a beautiful approach.
Thank you so much. And I absolutely love your questions as well.
It's always nice to hear about people's experiments.
And this is what I love about this approach is that I myself cannot really predict how people are going to use it, how people are going to apply it and make it their own.
So I always round out these conversations with one question in this container of Good Life Project.
If I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up?
To live a good life is to have the freedom to experiment.
Thank you. Hey, before you leave, if you love this episode Safe Bet, you'll also love the episode where I shared my 2x20 project all about my own tiny experiments you'll find a link to that episode in the show notes this episode of good life project was produced by executive producers lindsey foxx and me jonathan fields editing help by troy young christopher carter crafted our theme music and special thanks to shelly dell bliss for her research on this episode and of course if you haven't already done so please go ahead and follow good life project in your favorite listening app or on YouTube
too. If you found this conversation interesting or valuable and inspiring, chances are you did because you're still listening here.
Do me a personal favor, a seven -second favor, share it with just one person.
I mean, if you want to share it with more, that's awesome too, but just one person even, then invite them to talk with you about what you've both discovered to reconnect and explore ideas that really matter because that's how we all come alive together.
Until next time, I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project.
Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void?
Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers.
You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company, seniority, skills.
Wait, did I say job title yet?
Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads.
We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
Get started at linkedin .com slash results.
Terms and conditions apply.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash?
Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies.
Try it at progressive .com.
Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates.
Potential savings will vary.
Not available in all states.
Are you still quoting 30 -year -old movies?
Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?
Do you still think Discover isn't widely accepted?
If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.
Discover is accepted at 99 % of places that take credit cards nationwide.
And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back.
Welcome to the now.
It pays to Discover.
Learn more at discover .com slash credit card.
Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report.
And now, a next -level moment from AT &T Business.
Say you've sent out a gigantic shipment of pillows, and they need to be there in time for International Sleep Day.
You've got AT &T 5G, so you're fully confident.
But the vendor isn't responding, and International Sleep Day is tomorrow.
Luckily, AT &T 5G lets you deal with any issues with ease, so the pillows will get delivered and everyone can sleep soundly, especially you.
AT &T 5G requires a compatible plan and device.
Coverage not available everywhere.
Learn more at att .com slash 5G network.
