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Hello listeners, welcome back to Luke's English Podcast.
It sounds different, doesn't it?
It sounds strange.
The reason is that I'm actually recording the intro to this episode in the toilet in my apartment.
I wouldn't normally do that, but this evening, this is actually the quietest room in my apartment.
So I've been forced to record in here.
It's a first.
It's a first on the podcast, which is quite a novel thing after nearly a thousand episodes to do something for the first time.
Don't get me wrong, it's not the first time I've recorded an episode while in a toilet.
I've done that several times.
Long-term listeners might remember the times when I recorded episodes in a toilet on a train and also in a toilet on a plane.
So I've been there, I've done that, but this is the first time I've recorded anything in this particular toilet in our apartment.
So anyway let me tell you about this episode.
So in this one you're going to hear me having a rambling chat with my brother James.
Yes the Glib brothers are back on the podcast reunited once again.
James is probably the guest I've had on this podcast the most over the years.
He's been coming on ever since the very early days and it's sort of a tradition for us to have these Fairly regular rambling sessions.
Long-term Lepsters, hello to you.
In this episode we cover all sorts of different topics, from sandwiches, trousers and gangster films to vinyl records, the work of Edgar Allan Poe and the ways that people use English these days that other people sometimes find irritating.
It's a light-hearted, personal and slightly silly conversation, but that's exactly why it's great for your English, because listening to this you will get loads of natural vocabulary, everyday expressions and the sort of spontaneous speaking style in a long-form conversation that is hard to find in other learning English materials like your textbooks.
By the way, as usual, there is a full transcript for this episode, which is free for you to download.
Just check the link in the episode description.
You can read it before, during or after listening to this conversation as a way to push your English further, to notice expressions, to make a note of them or to practice some shadowing with this episode.
So you can download that free.
You'll find the link in the episode description.
But otherwise just relax, listen in on our conversation and this whole episode, which is, I must add, completely untouched by AI.
So listen in, follow what we're saying and enjoy practicing your English with James and me.
Why is this episode called Thompson Originals?
Well, just keep listening and you will find out.
So without any further ado, here we go.
How are you doing, James?
I'm very well, thanks.
How are you?
I'm very well too, thanks.
How does it feel knowing that people are using this to learn English?
It's easy to forget that actually, because sometimes you're just chatting away about something and you forget that you're actually there for a purpose rather than just talking gibberish to your brother.
Yeah, but the thing is, the purpose is to kind of just completely relax and be as natural as you can.
So if you forget.
Sometimes I do achieve that and I forget that we're recording stuff.
Because that's the best.
That's what we want.
It becomes a secondary concern, rather than if you're having a good chat, it's not really the first thing you're thinking about.
But if you forget that you're being recorded and that there are loads of people around the world paying really close attention to every single word you say and and using it all as a model for their own learning of English?
If you just forget that... No pressure, then.
No pressure.
Yeah, no pressure.
But if you do forget that, then that's exactly what we're looking for, because people want a sort of authentic, natural version of English.
With it in the back of your mind that people out there...
I'll try to use it to learn English, but you just let me deal with that side of things.
So James, often when you're on the podcast, often what we do is we pick specific topics to discuss right.
Yeah.
Like we talk about a genre of music or a film or a band or something like that.
Yeah.
And great as those episodes are like brilliant as they are.
I think sometimes the episodes like that can alienate some people.
They can turn them.
It can turn them into aliens.
Can alienate vast swathes of the audience.
That's true.
That's a good word, isn't it?
Alienate.
And vast swathes?
Swathes?
Swathes.
Also vast swathes of the audience.
That's the kind of word you only ever use in that exact context.
When you're talking about vast swathes, I can't even say it now.
Swathes.
Swathes.
Swathes.
To alienate vast swathes of the audience.
I mean that does suggest that my audience is absolutely enormous and enormous and large sections of it could be described as vast swathes.
I'm just trying to think if there are other things that you can.
You can use swathes for swathes broad strip or broad area of something like swathes of the countryside.
Yeah, it's a very, very large area.
Yeah.
But I mean, you know, this is a massive international podcast.
So yeah, when we do talk about you know some obscure band, then yeah, we do alienate vast swathes of the audience and they all become aliens.
I've noticed some of the numbers of some of the more niche episodes are very low compared to some of your other numbers.
That's true.
I have noticed that, yeah.
But you're getting the right 32,000 people.
Yeah, exactly.
The ones who keep listening all the way through to those more obscure episodes.
Yeah, that's the hardcore kind of, I don't know, the Apple core of this Apple.
Yeah.
If this podcast is an Apple.
If it was an Apple.
They're the core.
They're the seeds at the heart of it.
But anyway, what I think is perhaps more interesting for everyone.
I might be wrong, but what I think maybe is more interesting is just when we talk about topics that are more universal, perhaps even ordinary, because I think there is a lot to be said for listening to people chatting about quite trivial or ordinary things, like when Paul McCartney was on the Adam Buxton podcast.
Did you ever hear that?
No.
I'm going to say no.
I just said that in the way that's just slightly jokey, by the way.
I'm going to say no.
I don't normally talk like that.
No, you don't normally.
When Macca was on Adam Buxton's podcast.
It was good because Adam didn't ask him all the usual things you know like what was it like being the Beatles?
Or how did you feel when the band broke up or whatever?
Instead, he asked him much more mundane things like what kinds of TV programs do you like to watch?
And what's your favorite sandwich?
I did hear that.
And he said he liked to watch salvage programs.
Really?
Which I like to watch as well.
What are salvage programs?
There's salvage hunters in the UK and there's salvage something wars, or there's salvage American pickers in America.
But the one I prefer is salvage hunters, which is some bloke, some Welsh bloke called Drew Pritchard going around in a van buying amazing stuff.
You know, it's good for like...
I mean, you could say some of it's antiques and some of it isn't.
Some of it's just weird, you know, fairground art and, you know, anything, you name it.
You know fine art also, kind of what some people would say is junk, weird old signs, and you know kind of blokey, weird stuff.
Right.
There's a word for that, isn't there?
Architectural salvage is one word for it.
Architectural salvage, so bits of furniture, bits of interesting curiosities, curios buildings as well, almost like bits of you know gates or you know actual stones, vintage or um antique stuff.
So that's salvage hunters.
This Welsh guy in a van goes around buying these things.
Where does he get them from?
Does he kind of buy them from warehouses and stuff?
Yeah, anywhere really old factories um Other dealers.
Those are the two mainly.
Dealers' Yards or sometimes old houses that are selling off their stuff, you know, like sort of stately homes, sort of type places very, very rich, but the kind of places that are so big it's hard to keep them going.
You know, most of them have wedding venues now, so they've always got this extra furniture they they can't really do anything with or they need to replace whatever, and he comes in and buys all this amazing stuff and then the show doesn't the show have a concept where he then has to sell it on or something?
No, it's not like that.
It's not like one of those format programs.
It's a lot looser than that.
I mean, yeah, sometimes they show it's selling.
Sometimes they don't.
It's not like a format show.
The format is just he goes and buys good stuff.
It's a little bit... kind of fly on the wall kind of thing rather than a format.
Yeah, and it's very cheaply made.
It's just sort of him and maybe one guy with a camera, one guy with a microphone.
Very sort of efficient production.
Yeah, maybe a bit more than that, but not much.
Okay, so Maka likes it.
Yeah, the thing I like is, I don't know if you've seen it, Salvage Hunters.
I don't think he mentioned that one by name.
I don't think he mentioned it by name, but he didn't mention any of them by name.
I think he just vaguely said the type.
I like shows where you know people, sort of like a Welsh guy drives around the countryside, you know, and just buys things.
You know architectural knickknacks and things like that and just buys them.
That's it.
That's the show.
Yeah, yeah.
So I found that interesting.
Do you want to know what Paul McCartney's favorite sandwich is?
I'd say it's the club sandwich.
Well, he's a vegetarian.
Don't forget.
Of course.
How could I forget that?
Okay, well, it would be a vegetarian club sandwich.
So he likes a hummus bagel.
Oh, hummus.
Very good choice.
Very good choice.
He has a bagel, a sort of toasted bagel with hummus, and to top it off, he adds marmite on the top.
Come on, that's a good bagel, don't you think?
It's pretty flipping good, yeah.
The Marmite, that lovely flavour of the Marmite on the top is an excellent idea.
A bit controversial, but yeah, I could get with that.
I thought you were going to say honey or something.
I thought you were going to say something a bit weird.
But Marmite's kind of weird in a different way.
Marmite makes total sense, I think.
Anyway, stuff like that.
So with that kind of thing in mind James, I have a collection of questions here that should let us chat about more universal everyday, perhaps even stupid things, because surely everyone can relate to stupid things, right?
Brilliant.
Did you bring my questions?
Yes, I've got your questions.
Some of the questions in my big list are your questions, and some of them are mine.
All of your questions, as far as I can tell, all revolve around the what's your favorite sort of motif.
The old chestnut.
What's your favorite this?
What's your favorite that?
Which is a pretty good conversation starter.
Bit unoriginal.
Should we start with what's your favorite?
Should we start with a few of those then?
Can I plug my record first?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You've got a new record which is available now, listeners.
Go ahead.
Plug away.
Go for it.
I think we should have done that more smoothly.
Really?
Yeah.
The proper podcasting way of doing that is to do these smooth transitions from the normal content into a promotional bit.
Some podcasts do that very well.
And some don't.
And some don't.
And I don't know if I do.
I've never been that great at the promotional side of things.
But there are some, like Mark Maron's podcast...
Is he smooth with it?
Is he smooth with it?
No, he's not.
He's not at all.
He's one of the most successful podcasts ever, and he was an early adopter.
So he's kind of the OG of one of the OGs of podcasting.
But the thing about his show is that he's very personal, very political, and very raw.
I've listened to a few of his shows.
It's like a countdown until he starts talking about his old cocaine days.
I give him 22 and a half minutes.
Yeah.
It's like that.
He's a recovering addict of various things.
He's got all sorts of war stories and everything like that.
He's got this very raw, authentic feel to it.
He'll be talking from the heart about some horrible...
It's life changing experience he had.
And then he shifts almost within the same sentence to advertising stamps dot com or something.
You know, are you fed up of going to the post office to buy your stamps?
Why not print them at home with stamps dot com?
Literally, he's just been talking about the time when he had to check into rehab and, you know, in the same breath he then starts promoting.
You know what got me through that?
Rehab stamps, sending postcards.
Anyway, this is, this is our smooth transition into your opportunity to plug your new record to my audience, which seems to be the main marketing channel that you use to sell your music.
It's also the kind of probably one of the worst crossover kind of.
You know, if there was a graph, it would just be two circles.
Separate.
Separate.
Yeah, because what would make more sense is if I was promoting language learning platforms where you could perhaps find a speaking partner, you know, and instead no no no, I'm going to promote sort of ambient techno, obscure vinyl releases.
That you can only buy in the UK.
Yeah.
Well, go ahead anyway.
Go on.
Go on.
Tell us about it.
Well, you know, I've always loved vinyl, haven't you?
And I know you always have as well, but you didn't get into it quite as much as I did.
Would you agree with that?
I would agree, yes.
Well, vinyl is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
It is a wonderful thing.
So it's something I always wanted to achieve.
Yeah.
And yeah, I just ended up getting a record out this year.
On vinyl?
On vinyl, which is just something I wasn't sure would happen in my lifetime.
Congratulations.
And I didn't have to pay for it.
A label got in touch and they wanted to put some stuff out and they have.
This is brilliant.
It's purple as well.
The vinyl is purple?
Yeah.
Wow.
Translucent purple.
That's good.
So listeners, you should buy it just for that.
Do you want to play a bit?
Yeah okay, five seconds.
If I play it on my YouTube or something, will you hear it at your end?
No, I won't, but I'll have to just sort of edit it in afterwards.
Let's put it in now for about 11 seconds.
Okay, There you go.
That was a selection of James's music that is now available on vinyl.
So to that one person who's interested... Now, there's more of them.
You know, I think that.
So we joke around and stuff about how maybe not many people listening to this would be interested in buying your music.
But actually, I think there is quite a lot of people.
So first of all, there's our generation, right?
Which is when I look at the demographics who listen to this podcast.
Most people are our age and then probably 10 to 15 years younger than as well.
That's where most of the audience is.
But there's people of all ages who listen to this, but certainly a lot of people around our age and a bit younger, which is definitely the catchment area in terms of demographics for that kind of music, right.
For my YouTube channel, not that it's very big, it's very small, but those are the kind of ages I get as well.
Right.
So in terms of age, we are bang on the money, right?
Second point, the kind of music you make, which is, how would you describe it?
Techno?
I'm not quite sure, but probably Acid House, or I don't know.
Different people call it different stuff.
I honestly don't know.
Just electronic music.
Electronic, ambient, acid, techno house.
No, just say techno.
Techno, okay.
Techno is very popular in certain parts of the world, right?
Like, for example... let's just say Poland.
Okay.
It's popular everywhere.
I mean, pick somewhere where it isn't.
I'm saying Poland.
I'm just going, I'm going Poland on this one.
Well, you know, I DJ in Poland sometimes.
You used to DJ in Poland.
You've probably got a sort of following.
If you've got a following anywhere, in any country other than your home country let's say it's Poland.
I have not got a following DJing-wise.
Well, you're about to get one.
Yes, right.
Let's crack on because this is getting boring.
Okay.
Anyway, I think that there's probably at least five people in Poland who are loving this right now.
So if that's you, shout out to you.
Get My Brother's Record.
Tell us a little bit more about it, and then I'm going to ask you what your favorite sandwich is.
Okay.
It's a four-track EP.
It's on Ooze Records.
Thank you very much to Ooze Records.
This is what you have to look up if you want to find it.
Ooze004.
That's O-O-Z-004.
Yeah, that's what you want to look for.
Okay.
And it's on YouTube as well, if you want to give it a listen.
Luke could probably link it below.
I will.
So just, even if you don't buy it, just give it a listen, see if you like it.
I've got stories about it, about how You have got stories.
I almost didn't record it because it was just kind of like You know, because I'm always messing around jamming, making tracks when I used to, when I had some spare time.
You're like Bob Marley, just jamming.
Yeah.
But this one, I didn't really realise it was...
I mean, it's quite a good one.
It's probably better than the usual level, but I didn't really realize at the time.
So I nearly just turned it off.
Right.
Because I was going to sometimes I filmed them and I didn't have any battery left on the camera or something.
So I just like, oh, never mind.
And I kind of as an afterthought thought, well, I suppose I'll just record the audio.
Just recorded it in one take just to a little recording device, one of those Zoom H1s.
Yes.
And that was it.
And there's a bit in the middle where the acid line stops being tweaked because I got a text.
And you know, the acid line is supposed to go, did you do what you do?
And you're supposed to be tweaking it all the way.
There's a bit in the middle where it doesn't really move for a while.
Cause I got a text and I was like, Oh fuck, I'm supposed to be doing this and that's that's on the.
That's the record.
Yeah, isn't there one?
Isn't there one where you fell asleep while you were making it?
Yeah, that's not this one, that's a different one.
That's a different one.
That's on the last album.
There's a track right at the end I think it's the second from last track.
I fell asleep while I was recording and I woke up and it was about 12 and a half minutes long.
You know, I just quickly fell asleep and woke up again, but I had to cut loads of it down because it was kind of playing itself.
I had this kind of arp going on, this 101 thingy bob, and it just was kind of modulating itself and fading in and out and kind of twiddling itself, if you know what i mean.
So i was just enjoying this, enjoying listening, twiddling with itself.
Yeah, i was enjoying listening to it and i just fell asleep and it carried on playing away because it was kind of set to this sort of certain pattern.
But that's one of the nicer slow ones.
Is that one where i fell asleep?
The Beatles never fell asleep while they were recording their music, did they?
You don't know.
John Lennon might have.
I bet.
I mean, it would be good if they had.
So tell us more about how you recorded Blackbird.
Well, I was just, you know, like noodling away on the guitar, you know, and I just nodded off and I fell asleep.
And I played it while I was asleep.
I just nodded off.
Well, there's the one.
Actually that yesterday, what Paul McCartney always says about that is oh well, I just woke up in the morning and had this song in my head, you know do-do-do-do.
I was like, what is that?
Is that frank sinatra?
So he dreamt yesterday.
He didn't actually fall asleep while recording it, though that's the key difference.
Anyway this, this ep, this the purple acid 704 ep, was not written while asleep or recorded while asleep.
Just there's one bit where i stopped to receive a text.
Do you remember anything about that text?
You don't know who it was from, what the nature of it was.
Probably urgent text from my girlfriend saying have we got, do we have milk?
Yeah well, it's always the burning question that everyone has, isn't it?
I'm just coming back, i'm popping by the shop.
Do we have any milk?
Oh god, i don't know.
Do we are to?
Level of milk?
Never knows if they've got milk.
Level of milk is just a kind of like barometer on the the the, the health of the relationship, really isn't it?
If you've got low levels of milk?
Or the health of each individual person.
It's important that you know where you are in that field.
How much milk have we got?
Do you know how much milk you've got?
It could be a government sort of promotional campaign.
Do you know how much milk you have?
Checkyourmilk.com.
Joking.
Do you have enough milk?
You might be needing a cup of tea quite soon.
Do you have enough milk?
Stop.
Think.
Do you have milk?
Yeah.
Stop.
Stop.
Think.
Check your milk levels.
Yeah.
Now it's like bloody oat milk.
So I drink normal milk.
Girlfriend drinks oat milk.
You have to buy twice as much milk.
And the oat milk's expensive.
You haven't decided to switch to oat milk then?
I did and then I decided to unswitch.
Really?
Because it's just not nice or what?
I just like normal milk.
Yeah, i don't blame you, it's all right.
It's okay.
You're not good for you to drink loads of milk, but i tend to drink some milk yeah well, you know, a little bit in your tea.
That's the thing, listeners.
That's why we keep going on about milk because, as english people, we do put milk in our tea.
Tea was fine, but it didn't have any calories in it, so we needed to do something about that.
Yeah, black tea on its own healthy definitely, especially in the morning.
But no, no, you've got to add some unsaturated fat into it.
Fat and some sugar.
And cholesterol.
Then it's palatable.
Yeah, then it's acceptable to the English palate.
Yeah, just stir in a spoonful of lard and...
You're good to go.
Let me now smoothly transition into the other questions I had lined up, including the first one, which is what is your favorite sandwich?
What is your favorite?
I stressed that sentence slightly strangely.
What is your favorite sandwich?
It should be, which word would you stress in that question?
What is your favorite sandwich?
It's like I've been talking about some, no, what would the context be?
It would be.
It sounds insistent.
It sounds insistent.
Okay.
But what is your favorite sandwich?
Will you please hurry up and tell us?
That's it.
What is your favorite sandwich for Christ's sake?
That is the way that we do it.
Stressing different words in that question.
That's right, because that would be like I was dilly-dallying choosing one.
Maybe a club sandwich, maybe a tuna.
For God's sake, just make up your mind.
What is your favorite sandwich?
Yeah, that's the context of that.
What is your favorite sandwich?
So, James, we've heard about Paul's favorite sandwich.
What's your favorite sandwich?
Well, thanks, Luke.
My favorite sandwich would probably be a – is a hamburger a sandwich?
It's not, is it?
No.
Or is it?
I don't think so.
Well, it's a hamburger, isn't it?
It's a hamburger.
It's not a sandwich.
It's a hamburger.
Yeah, but I've never understood that hamburger thing because it's not made of ham, is it?
I mean, what's – no, I don't think a hamburger counts as a sandwich.
What's my favorite sandwich?
Something really sort of full of calories, full of protein, like a very rich, very rich.
It's not like a Marks and Spencer's English breakfast sandwich.
Marks and Spencer's prawn on white bread.
No, I quite like the Christmas sandwiches.
I might go with that.
Are we talking just like commercially available sandwiches or just like fantasy sandwich sandwiches?
It could be a fantasy sandwich.
It could be a real sandwich.
A real sandwich that is commercially available.
It could be some underground sandwich that you can only buy on the dark web.
Yeah.
Your choice.
There are a few of those in Hackney.
Are there?
Yeah, definitely.
So underground sandwich spots.
They don't even have a name.
They're just like some sort of boarded up ex-chemist or something.
And you knock on the door and there's ordinary furniture everywhere.
Probably probably, you say can i uh, can i have a christmas sandwich please?
It's easter, for goodness sake.
Oh, you can't, don't you said the word.
What word sandwich?
No, you must not use the black market of sandwich, the sandwich market, the underground sandwich market, all right well, commercially available sandwiches.
Chicken, turkey, stuffing.
What?
Chicken and turkey?
Yeah, cranberry sauce, maybe a bit of bread sauce.
Stuffing?
I've already said stuffing, and a bit of sausage and a bit of bacon.
That's insane, isn't it, listeners?
Chicken and turkey.
Who puts two birds in one sandwich?
Maybe just turkey, but I have a feeling it's a mixture.
Wow, that's extraordinary.
The Christmas sandwich, listeners, is...
Basically the stuffing and the cranberry that makes it.
Without that, it would be dry, very dry.
Yes, well, yeah.
Yeah, that'll do.
I've chosen one.
I chose one.
Yeah, you've fulfilled the criteria of the question.
Okay, next.
That was what's your favorite sandwich.
We've also got what's your favorite sandwich.
We've heard about your least favorite.
What's your favorite sandwich?
And then they would be like, so we've heard about your favorite drink.
What's your favorite sandwich?
Anyway, I had to do that.
I had to finish stressing the different words.
For me, my favorite sandwich is a sandwich that I invented a few years ago and I called it the special sandwich.
I was very pleased.
It's not really very original, but it's essentially two slices of white soft bread buttered with just Kraft cheese slices, right.
I mean, you can go up market and you can buy yourself some fancy cheese, but you don't need to.
You can just go with Kraft cheese slices.
This is a person who lives in France.
I've lived here for a long time.
But yes, in this particular sandwich, Kraft cheese slices.
Then on one of them, you've got avocado cut up, right, slices of avocado.
On the other one, you've got some nice juicy tomato sliced.
And then in the middle, just some nice ham.
Okay.
And there's a bit of ketchup.
Oh, you've lost me there.
A little bit of ketchup.
No, it's all right.
A little bit's okay.
And a little bit of mayonnaise.
And you can also add some mustard on the ham if you like.
And it all comes together to form something really rather wonderful and rather beautiful.
What kind of bread are you using?
I'm just using a soft white loaf.
Toasted or?
No, I keep it soft, but it's got to be because it's decent bread, good bread.
It works with a bun as well, but that's, you have to trust me on this one.
That's an excellent sandwich.
That's my favorite sandwich.
There you go.
Fair play.
I do like that plastic cheese and stuff.
Yes, you shouldn't, you know you shouldn't, but I like it on toasted Polish bread or something from the shop.
You know that kind of yeah, I know sourdough, sourdough bread, not sourdough, but it comes in a kind of.
Anyway, you know the stuff you used to get from the corner shop.
Yeah, that bread from the Polish shop.
Yeah, In Hammersmith.
With, like, butter and one of those cheese slices.
Toasted bread.
That's sourdough bread, that is.
Okay, but toasted.
So it's, like, white, quite crispy, and with the soft cheese on top.
And a little bit of chilli sauce.
Ooh.
Delicious.
Ooh.
Next question of yours.
So we've done what's your favorite sandwich?
Next question is what's your favorite type of trousers?
That's a tricky one, isn't it?
What's your favorite type of trousers?
Bear in mind there are all sorts of different types of trousers available on the market.
And I'm just talking about ones that are commercially available.
I'm not talking about trousers you buy on the dark web.
I don't want to talk about that.
So what's your favorite type of trousers, James?
Jeans.
What kind of jean, straight black, relaxed cut jeans?
Okay, any particular make, are you going levi's or currently, volcom?
Oh, i don't know about them a sort of skateboardy, sort of snowboardy sort of brand?
They're actually not that expensive.
They're fairly affordable if you get them in the sale And they're pretty good.
They're quite strong.
They're not weak anywhere.
They don't rip in your groinal area like some cheap jeans do.
Do your jeans tend to rip in the groin area today?
Is that a common occurrence?
They have done skateboarding.
Skateboarding, right.
Not just randomly walking down the street.
Just in general life.
No, but I have had my jeans ripped like that and had to go home holding my skateboard in front of me because my leg was exposed.
That's a fashion statement though, isn't it?
No, but this wasn't a fashion statement.
This was just my trousers had ripped.
A wardrobe malfunction.
Fashion disaster.
So just black, straight, regular fit, relaxed fit, black jeans.
Okay.
Yeah, boring.
Yeah, I'm very similar, but the only difference is that I would go for a slim fit black jean.
And that's slim fit, not skinny.
I'm not insane.
And my legs do need... blood circulation.
So I would go just for a slim fit black gene.
Aren't we exciting?
Thrilling.
What's the next cue?
Okay.
Let me just pick one.
Okay.
What's your favorite power lead?
This is one of mine, isn't it?
What is your favorite power lead?
So listeners, of course, this is another one of yours.
All the favorites ones, almost all of them are yours.
So listeners, power leads, right?
So This is not something that we, that us people humans, would spend much time thinking about, I suppose, except today.
Today's different.
Power leads.
All electronic items that you have will have a power lead the thing that connects it to the electricity supply right.
That you plug it into the wall and then the other end goes into the device that you've got the TV, the radio, the kettle, the toaster, whatever it is.
And there are various types of power lead products.
A lot of them these days are just USB leads.
But you want me to answer this first, do you?
Yeah.
Well, I'm quite partial to what we call in general parlance the kettle lead.
Ah, that's my favorite too.
Yeah, right.
Can you describe a kettle?
It's the best lead.
Can you describe a kettle lead?
It's fat, chunky. has three prongs or it has recesses to contain three prongs.
And it's a kind of quite satisfying squared off kind of blocky shape, rounded off on the top and blocky at the bottom.
And so you can only fit it in one way around.
There's no getting it the wrong way around like a USB.
It's clearly obvious.
It's a very good size.
It's hard to like lose them.
They use, they use on both kettles and DJ equipment and, Yeah.
Which is very handy when you're doing high and you've forgotten your lead.
Have you got a fucking kettle?
Yes.
Oh, thank God.
And someone wants to make a cup of tea later.
Well, sorry.
Your kettle lead has been, what's the word?
Commandeered.
That's another word beginning with an R. Requisitioned.
Repurposed.
Repurposed.
Requisitioned requisitioned yes, taken and used your catalytic.
Requisitioned for use by the dj.
I'm afraid isn't that interesting.
The world has put these two things in the same category kettles like making cups of tea and coffee, and djing.
They're in the same, they're just in one little category.
Isn't that interesting?
My npc uses a kettle lead.
Yeah, that's right.
Music equipment, music production equipment hardware and tea production equipment, both supplied by the same power lead.
That's a beautiful thing.
It really is.
And they are also satisfyingly chunky, as you, as you say.
I wonder if everywhere in the world is it the same lead everywhere listeners, you can let us know.
I think it must be.
Do you reckon it must be?
Do you have the same lead that you connect to a kettle as uh, as you do for a piece of dj equipment like an amplifier or something?
Let us know in the comments section, section listeners.
I have another question.
Do you want another favorite?
Yeah, go on then.
Okay.
Maybe this, I could have used this question to help promote your album.
Smoothly.
But I didn't, but I didn't.
But anyway, the question is, what is your favorite music delivery system?
And there are options.
So what's your favorite music delivery system?
Cassette, vinyl, CD, mini disc, MP3 player, or just streaming?
Obviously vinyl, but I'll just say cassette, because it just gives me an excuse to talk about cassettes.
So, so wait a minute.
The answer is vinyl, but you're saying cassette.
How about vinyl and cassette, the combination?
Okay.
Recording cassettes, vinyl collection.
You can do that.
There aren't any rules really to this.
So you can say that vinyl and cassette, you can have two.
Tell us about cassettes then.
What's so good about them?
I bought one recently on eBay.
It's by this company called Thompson Originals.
Nice.
It's not us, Thompson.
It's T-H-O-M-S-U-N.
Oh, Thompson.
Oh, okay.
Thompson Originals.
That's just wrong, isn't it?
They're called Thompson Originals.
Now, ironically, they're bootlegs.
They're not actually originals.
They're copies.
And I think they're from somewhere in the Middle East.
I think they're from Saudi Arabia or somewhere like that.
They did a range of bootleg tapes.
And when you look at the actual tapes they look like they've been home taped because they're kind of off the peg blank tapes with a printed label.
But the quality is amazing.
They use chrome tapes.
And some people have read say oh, it's better than CD, which you know it's different.
It's a different sound to cd, so you could argue that it's better if you prefer that sound, but they're certainly top quality.
So i've got the best of the doors and i look for some others, but they've got someone's got the best of the smiths for like a million pounds on ebay or something, or like 200, like 400 pounds or so, i can't remember something stupid, just one of those hopeful things people put up but yeah, just like, thought that was quite interesting.
Thompson originals wow.
So if that is you, if you, if you are, mr tom sun, nice one for selling those chrome cassettes.
Chrome yeah, chrome.
I remember when we used to use cassettes all the time and there were different types of cassette right there would be like your generic c90.
Then you got um, just better quality ones, and then sometimes you get a chrome cassette and you think wow, This is really the best of the best.
But even Chrome cassettes could get tangled.
Chrome tape, yeah, it could still get tangled.
It could still get all twisted up inside your Walkman, which would be a nightmare.
I've got a whole load of Chrome tapes here.
Here?
Have you really?
You know, my voice is changing.
Your voice is changing?
My accent is changing because, you know why?
Why?
I'm living with my girlfriend now.
And she's got a slightly posh accent.
Okay.
And because she's about the only person I speak to now, because I don't do anything.
I'm starting to pick it up.
You're going all posh.
Well, I'm slightly, the occasional word, I just hear a hint of it.
Because I'm very susceptible to accents.
Like when I lived in New Zealand, I started to slightly get a bit of twinge of New Zealand accent.
When I used to spend more time in South London, I used to have more of I'm sure I'm more of a South London accent.
And that's kind of like faded off a bit now.
It's just like, I think it's natural to start.
You don't even mean to, you just start mirroring.
It's like mirroring.
They say people are, you copy the people around you.
It's called accommodating.
Accommodating.
So it's like you become more like the other people around you to sort of fit in.
And just it's just a natural process, I suppose.
Oh, I see.
So when you say when you say, what was it here?
I could hear myself saying here here, and we normally say here here here, here i'm here, and i started to slightly slip into a slightly posh pronounce because when we were growing up there was no one really posh was there really in our areas where we grew up we didn't really know any posh people with that kind of accent because we lived in the midlands.
So most people in the midlands have quite a strong midlands accent or even a mild midlands accent, but no one had that sort of posh accent.
Because we don't have just on our accents, we don't have, let's say, because some people might listen to us and think that we sound posh.
Yeah, they probably do.
I listened to a couple of our episodes and I thought God, I do sound quite sort of middle class and whatever, because I am, I suppose.
Yeah, we sound sort of slap bang in the middle of middle class.
I think we don't really have very strong regional accents, but I think a posh accent is different.
A posh accent is still slightly different to the way we speak, because a posh accent has those things like, for example, saying things like words like shower power layer.
They end up sounding like sha, pa and lair.
Right.
You know, it's, there's definitely a difference.
It's a kind of a corruption almost, isn't it?
It's a it's like, it's like slang, but the other way around it's like posh, inverted kind of ghettoization of language.
It's not entirely neutral is my point.
Not that any accent is really neutral, but it is.
It does have its own signifiers and things like saying instead of saying yeah, it's like yeah yeah, yeah.
Something like that.
So you know, when you can definitely hear a posh person talking, you know they've just got that kind of yeah, you know, I'm really quite posh, you know.
We've got a power shower at home.
Yeah, you know that mummy installed a parsha, you know, in in our uh, in our house.
I don't know something like that.
Um, all right, i didn't really notice.
I didn't notice your accent changing.
No, it's very, very subtle, but occasionally i notice it, i recognize it.
And what do you do, do you do?
I just punch myself in the face and it soon passes.
Yeah, that's yeah good, that's probably the best way to deal with it.
Yeah, i just, you know, sometimes i just decide to.
Yeah, you know, I just hear myself speaking.
You know, posh at all.
I'll just excuse myself going to the bathroom and just punch myself in the face a few times.
And it's, you know, that normally helps to deal with the problem.
Normally does the trick.
It normally does the trick.
Okay, so cassette and vinyl.
Yeah, I think you're probably right.
Not the most convenient forms of music playing.
I like MP3s as well.
I think they're quite a good invention.
I don't like streaming, I have to say.
Really?
Really?
Really, really?
You really don't like streaming?
Yeah, really don't.
Well, I would if they were a bit nicer to the people that they use the music of.
Because the streaming platforms are just basically screwing everyone.
Well, that's what some people say.
Some people might allege that.
Not me, of course, because I'm very careful of the things I say on the Internet.
Obviously, some people might say that.
Not me.
I'm just reporting what other people may have alleged or reported.
Yeah, I see.
Okay.
That's very good.
I'm glad we sorted that out.
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Actually, I never think about underwear.
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Next question is, what is your favorite thing in your local area?
Did I write that question as well?
I think I wrote that question.
You could obviously say your girlfriend, but there may be other things in your local area that You first on this one.
Well, living in the centre of Paris, obviously there's lots of things.
The Eiffel Tower is quite good.
But actually, there are parks, right?
There are little parks nearby.
And every single little park, and they're all sort of run by the, the local council.
Every single little park has got a little lending library in it.
Oh yeah.
I know those.
They're like these little bookshelves and people just leave books in there.
And because there are so many people living in the area, there's quite a high turnover of books.
So every single time I go down to the park with the kids I'll go and have a look in the in the lending library and And actually it's surprising the amount of good stuff I've procured from these.
And then sold on eBay.
And then just sold them on eBay.
I'm making a lot of money from this.
Really, really am.
I mean, I'm loaded.
Absolutely loaded.
I'll drop the posh accent.
So I've got some good things.
Like the other day, I found a large tome, a large volume of short stories.
It was the collected works and the collected stories and poems of Edgar Allan Poe in English.
I knew you were going to say that somehow.
I just knew you were going to say that.
I think I told you before, probably.
Poe's really good, isn't he?
He is brilliant, yeah.
So weird.
Some scary, weird stories.
Which one's sticking in the memory?
Um, let's see.
Well, there's this mad one.
I can't remember the name of the story now, but it's um, although I can tell.
I can actually tell you I've got.
I've got some of his stories here.
Hold on a sec.
Just rifling through.
It says the.
Is it the facts in the case of M. Valdemar?
It might be that one.
Bloody hell, it's just ridiculously hilarious.
So I say hilarious.
It's horrifying because these stories were written in the 19th century and it was such a different world.
We're just beginning to discover things about science that we take for granted, now that they were first finding out about.
It must have been amazing.
Yeah, in this new world of scientific discovery and it was really blowing everyone's minds.
But also there's still a lot of superstitious stuff going around, like things about hypnosis and things like that that were kind of on the borderlines of science and magic.
And so this story there's this guy, this kind of scientist who experiments with hypnosis and he's decided and it's written in this formal kind of 19th century way he's decided that he needs to, or wants to do an experiment And try and put someone in a hypnotic state, a person who is on their deathbed.
He wants to try and hypnotize someone as they're dying in order to see what happens.
And he does it.
And the guy kind of goes into this weird state, catatonic state, so there's a person on his deathbed, he hypnotizes him and in that moment his face contorts into this weird grin and his mouth opens and his tongue sort of sticks out and he's able to talk to this sort of weird spirit.
It's like a different voice and And the spirit is tormented and sort of says you know oh, you must release me.
All this kind of thing.
And he holds him in this state for ages, talking to him and asking him questions.
And when he finally releases him from the hypnotic state, the body shrivels up and dissolves into a pile of dust and disappears.
That's the story.
Nice.
The story in question is called The Facts in the Case of M Valdemar, written by Edgar Allan Poe and published originally in 1845.
Here are just a few bits of info from Wikipedia, actually.
So this is a short story written by Edgar Allan Poe about a mesmerist.
That's like a hypnotist who puts a man in a suspended hypnotic state at the moment of death.
An example of a tale of suspense and horror, it is also, to a certain degree, a hoax.
A hoax, this is a word to describe...
Essentially something that's not true, which is created in order to make everyone believe that it's true.
OK, for example, making a film about an alien autopsy and then publishing it, presenting it as if it was a real autopsy, alien autopsy, maybe a secret CIA video that was leaked and then published.
But in fact, it was all fake.
So that's an example of a hoax.
So this story is, to a certain degree, an example of a hoax, because when it was published, Edgar Allan Poe didn't claim it to be fictional.
He just published it.
And lots of people at the time it was published thought it was a factual account.
Loads of people thought it was real, which is extraordinary when you actually read it.
Poe later on admitted that it was a work of pure fiction.
The plot, again, is this.
So the narrator presents the facts of the extraordinary case of his friend Ernest Valdemar, which have incited public discussion.
So the narrator of the story is interested in mesmerism.
That's basically like hypnotism, a pseudoscience involving bringing a patient into a hypnotic state.
He points out that, as far as he knows, no one has ever been mesmerized at the point of death, and he's curious to see what effects mesmerism would have on a dying person.
He considers experimenting on valdemar, an author whom he had previously hypnotized and who has recently been diagnosed with tuberculosis, which is a life-threatening disease.
Valdemar consents to the experiment.
So Valdemar says OK, you can do this, and informs the narrator by letter that his doctors expect him to die by midnight of the following evening.
So he says, look, I'm just about to die.
Waldemar's two physicians inform the narrator of their patient's poor condition.
After confirming again that Waldemar is willing to be part of the experiment, the narrator comes back the next night with two nurses and a medical student as witnesses.
Again, Valdemar insists he's willing to take part and asks the narrator to hurry up because he's worried that he's deferred his death for too long.
Basically that he's ready to die at any moment.
So hurry up and do the experiment.
Valdemar is quickly hypnotized, just as both physicians return and serve as additional witnesses.
In a trance, in a sort of hypnotic trance, Valdemar reports first that he is dying and then that he is dead.
The narrator leaves him in a hypnotic state for seven months and checks on him daily with the help of physicians and friends.
Meanwhile, Valdemar doesn't have a pulse, so feeling his wrist or his neck.
There's no heartbeat or any sign of breathing, and his skin is cold and pale.
This is for seven months.
Finally, the narrator makes an attempt to wake up Valdemar by asking questions that are answered with difficulty because Valdemar's voice emanates from his throat.
In fact it sounds more like a disembodied voice and his tongue is kind of coiled up and rolling around, but his lips and jaws are frozen in death.
In between trance and wakefulness, Valdemar begs the narrator to put him back to sleep quickly or to awaken him.
The line in the story goes...
At length, the same hideous voice which I've already described broke forth.
For God's sake, quick, quick, put me to sleep.
Or quick, waken me.
Quick, I say to you that I am dead. is what it says to him.
As Valdemar shouts dead, dead repeatedly, the narrator starts to bring him out of his trance, only for his entire body to immediately decay into a nearly liquid mass of loathsome, detestable putrescence.
So when he finally does bring him out of the trance, the body just instantly dies, sort of decays into this disgusting liquid.
I mean, it's so horrible for me.
I find it so disgusting that it goes over into the realm of comedy for me.
Just a bit more information about this.
Poe uses particularly detailed descriptions and relatively high levels of gore.
So gore describes the word.
Gore basically means graphic violence, depiction of graphic violence, especially in the media.
You get a lot of it in computer games, you know, that's gore.
So he uses a lot of descriptions and high levels of gore in this story, displaying his own studies of medical texts.
Valdemar's eyes at one point leak a profuse outflowing of a yellowish ichor.
This is a sort of weird ethereal fluid that is the blood of the gods in Greek mythology.
Though Poe's imagery in the story is best summed up in its final lines, this is the bit where he releases Valdemar from the trance.
His whole frame at once, within the space of a single minute or even less shrunk crumbled, absolutely rotted away beneath my hands upon the bed.
Before that whole company, there lay a nearly liquid mass of loathsome, detestable putrescence.
The disgusting imagery almost certainly inspired later fiction, including that of HP.
Lovecraft.
These final lines incorporate shock, disgust and uneasiness into one moment.
The ending may also suggest that attempts to appropriate power over death have hideous results and are bound to be unsuccessful.
So there's a happy story for you.
And just a little reminder not to hypnotize someone, just as they're dying to hold them in suspended animation in that state.
Don't do that.
It's just not worth it, especially if you.
If you want to avoid very expensive laundry costs or dry cleaning charges, then just don't bother.
Tales of Mystery and Imagination.
Tales of Mystery and Imagination.
I think that one was, yeah, that's the case of the facts in the case of M. Valdemar.
Yeah.
Wacky.
So that's my favorite thing in my local area, little lending libraries.
Gets a reference in I'm the Walrus as well, doesn't he?
Yeah, John Lennon mentions Edgar Allan Poe.
Something like, can't you see them digging Edgar Allan Poe?
I thought it said kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
Kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
Does that mean enjoying him or actually kicking him?
I thought it meant giving him a kicking.
Yes.
That's a pity, isn't it?
This is a conversation.
Yes.
This is a conversation.
Yes.
What's your favorite thing in your local area then? um well they just built this little mini skate park down the road from me literally but this is actually literally literally one street away oh good it's a little park and they built i mean with some a lot of help from the local skaters and the group skate newham they've managed to raise the funds and so on to have a little slab of freshly poured concrete on there like you get on the foundation of a house you know and it's really really super flat yeah like you know like professionally flat professionally flat i don't know a better word for it i know what you mean and a tiny little mini ramp which is actually too small for me to skate because i can't skate stuff that small um then a ledge and a little curb thing okay like tiny tiny weenie little baby skate park but it's great it's all you need really for a local spot like that unfortunately i'm 50 now so i find it really hard to do anything on a skateboard but i try every now and then that's the most important thing isn't it i can do board slides It's important that you just get out of the house every now and then, you know.
Yeah, it is.
And there'll be other skaters who come down who you can talk to about, oh, I like your skateboard.
I like your wheels.
Nice wheels.
Nice wheels you've got there.
I like the wheels they've got now.
Look at the wheels.
I've got these wheels on mine.
Well, I find these wheels are even faster than your wheels.
My wheels are yellow.
Yours are blue.
I like blue ones.
Maybe I'll get some blue ones.
That's basically how the conversation goes, yeah.
I sent you a photo today.
Do you remember what it was of?
Don't look.
Don't cheat.
I said remember.
Oh, yeah.
I had forgotten, but I did just cheat and had a look.
Yeah, it was a photo of a DVD that you bought.
Do you remember those, listeners?
DVDs?
A DVD of a skating, skateboarding... that we used to have called Hocus Pocus.
Hocus Pocus by H Street.
If anyone remembers Hocus Pocus by H Street, leave a comment.
Yeah, I don't know if they will.
It's an old skateboarding video.
It's quite good, but we used to have it on VHS years and years and years ago.
We're talking about sort of half a century ago or something.
Second generation copy that my mate did for me.
So it was super low quality.
And the DVD, I was thinking oh, it can't be very good, but it's actually a lot clearer than I've ever seen it before.
Yeah.
Because we used to have quite a sketchy copy of it and then I've watched it since on YouTube and it's not a great upload on YouTube.
It's quite low quality again.
So it was really nice to have it.
I mean, it's still taped off of VHS, like a very home produced, like watching someone's home video.
It's kind of that level of quality, but it's still better than I've ever seen it before.
That's nice.
You know what?
To be honest, when I was compiling these questions, I was thinking how can I make questions that will not result in a conversation about skateboarding?
And I failed.
Oh, dear.
Let's move on.
It's okay.
I don't mind.
I've got another question for you.
We're moving further afield now, away from what's your favorite, into something much more personal.
So we used to live together, not just when we were kids.
But then after university and all that stuff, when we were in our mid-20s, mid to late 20s, we lived together for a few years.
And I was just wondering, what are your memories of living with me, both good and bad?
For example, how did you feel when I used to tell you to do the washing up?
Yeah.
I probably used to feel.
You can't remember, can you?
I probably used to feel, which means you're now speculating on how you felt because you actually can't remember.
I'm speculating.
I can't remember.
I was probably very grumpy about it as well.
So I remember playing lots of video games.
Yeah.
And watching the Beastie Boys anthology.
No, what's it called?
The Criterion Collection.
Videos.
A video collection of Beastie Boys videos.
Yeah.
I remember making compilation DVDs.
Yes.
From all the best bits of all our DVDs that you'd rip on your PC.
And we'd make excellent compilation DVDs of like one Black Sabbath song, then one skate section, then one Beastie Boys song, then one kind of like like a DVD mixtape.
Then an Adam and Joe sketch and then a bit of Bill Hicks and then this and that.
It was just great.
It's good.
Good little video.
Some of them.
Good times.
We actually even learned how to make our own commentary track over the top.
I haven't watched that commentary one in years.
I wonder if it's any good.
Probably not.
Probably not, I would say.
But it was the very first thing that we ever did that was anything like doing a podcast.
We also used to.
Sometimes this is a few years later, when we were living separately I'd come over to yours on a Friday and And we do a big DJing session and we'd have a microphone as well.
And we'd record the whole thing with DJing and then really stupid, um uh emceeing over the top of it.
Have you got any recordings of that?
Somewhere, but somewhere, I'm not sure where, but they're very stupid.
Yeah, they're funny.
Some of them are really funny, but normally what would happen is that the microphone would be far too quiet.
Yeah, i remember that, but um, we did come up with some pretty stupid and very funny ad libs, i think.
Oh well, if you ever find them, send them over, i will Right.
Let's see.
Okay.
What do you think of drivers of cars who slow down to let you cross the road when you're not at a pedestrian crossing?
So you're about to cross the road and that you're waiting for the cars to pass.
And one of the cars slows down to let you cross in front of the car and you're not at a pedestrian crossing.
How do you feel about that?
I feel that it's not safe.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel I feel threatened and angry, angry.
Yeah, that's about it, really.
OK, because I remember times when we were just walking around in London and we go to cross the road waiting for the cars to stop, and a car would invariably stop to sort of politely let us cross.
And you'd be like, I hate it when they do that.
Can't stand it.
The reason is, especially in London, it's not just them that you're worried about.
A busy road in London has got bikes, other cars mopeds well trucks, other things to contend with, not just that one car.
And when one car stops and flashes their lights, you feel rushed into crossing.
And some people will cross when it's not safe because a car's going.
Come on, I'm letting you go here.
The least you can do would be to thank me.
No.
Yeah.
Across immediately.
It's not in the highway code.
If you see someone standing by the side of the road, stop and let them cross and wave them across.
That's not in the fucking highway code.
You just drive.
It's not recommended.
Is it by It's not?
Because it's not safe and you can walk out and get hit by a bike.
Yeah.
Is that guy vouching for the whole road?
Is he going?
Hey, it's all right.
I've checked, I've asked everyone here and they've all agreed to stop so you can cross the road.
No, he fucking hasn't.
So he should drive on and stop telling me what to do.
Yeah.
There's something controlling about that kind of behaviour, isn't there?
I know it's well-intentioned, but... Well, usually.
Yeah, I'm sure it's well-intentioned all the time, but...
It's not necessarily safe to cross.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Because you think, right, this car stopped, I'll cross.
But then there's some... Other factors.
Some idiot on a motorbike who's going to fly around that person who stopped and they don't see you crossing the road beyond the car and then they smack into you and then it's game over, isn't it?
It is.
So, yes, I understand.
People think I'm weird because I don't like that, but...
Maybe I am just weird, but sorry.
No, no.
No one thinks you're weird anymore now that it's been clarified.
It's been explained and clarified.
It's probably just a London... It's a London thing.
It's a London thing, but...
You've got to be very, very careful when you cross the road here.
I would say you've got to be very, very, very careful.
Fuck off.
He said wittily.
He retorted.
Let's see.
Okay, okay, okay.
On the subject of things being annoying, how would you rate these things in terms of how annoying they are?
Zero is fine.
And you could go minus, so you could go into minus figures, like minus one is actually not annoying.
In fact, it's sort of pleasant.
It's good.
Quite pleasurable.
But anyway, zero is fine.
One is quite annoying, but tolerable.
Two is very annoying.
And three is unbearably, sorry, three is unbearably infuriating.
Why it's outrageous.
So zero, fine.
Number one, it's a bit annoying, but I can tolerate it.
Two, yeah, that's really annoying.
Three is this is unbearably infuriating.
I'm white hot with fury and indignation about how unbearable this is.
Okay?
Right.
Go on.
Yeah.
Right.
So the first thing, first situation is this, not being able to find the end of a roll of sellotape.
Listeners, sellotape is that plastic sticky tape.
In France, they call it scotch.
They're wrong.
It's sellotape.
Not being able to find the end of a roll of sellotape.
So you need to stick something and you get the sellotape.
And then you spend ages picking your thumbnail around the surface of it, desperately trying to find the end of that roll.
And it's nowhere to be found.
So how annoying is that?
Obviously, a sliding scale, depending how long it takes.
So you start off on a zero.
This is fine.
This is fine.
This is fine.
You just do this.
This is what you do.
Then you do one lap.
You're like, hang on, hang on.
I've just done a whole circle and it's not there.
But it is there.
I just can't find it.
This is quite annoying, but tolerable.
Then you're on 0.5.
Okay.
Then you keep going.
You still can't find it.
Then you're on 10 and then normally you find it on one.
You think yeah, if you don't, you definitely it's got the potential to go all the way up to three, but i'd say 99 of the time you're gonna, you're just gonna finish on about 075, right 075?
Only that, not every single time, i mean of the times you can't find it, i think it goes for me up to at least two.
This is very annoying.
I might say that to my wife.
This is very annoying.
I know i can't find the edge, the end of this sellotape.
This is very, very annoying.
And she has to, she has to agree with me.
She has to, yes, that must be very annoying, darling.
This is very annoying.
I can't find the end of the sellotape.
And if she doesn't reply, if she doesn't sort of you know validate me acknowledge, then it becomes unbearably infuriating.
You're not validating the fact that I'm finding this annoying.
This is unbearable.
Okay.
Okay, that's how we feel about that.
Okay, then.
How about stubbing your toe?
And we need to explain what stubbing your toe means.
Do you want to explain it?
Where you bash your toe into a bit of doorframe or something.
Furniture.
You're just walking along, probably barefoot.
Barefoot.
With bare feet.
And there's a certain action of just hitting just your big toe.
So it goes boink.
Or your little toe.
You're just walking along, minding your own business, and then whack!
Your little toe hits the corner of a table or something.
Something gross.
It's quite easy to break your little toe, your smaller toes, and quite often you can break them and not really realize and they just settle down in a weird way and stuff.
Or you wake up one morning and your toe just falls off.
That can happen in the shower yeah, something.
So it's just a one for me, because it doesn't happen very often and it's, it's all over, and it's all over as soon as it started, isn't it?
Wow you, you can tolerate quite a lot, because if i, i can't imagine that just walking along whack oh, that's quite annoying, but let's just tolerate.
I can tolerate that.
That's just pain.
It's just pain.
It'll be over in a second bang.
That's quite annoying, but okay, it's.
It's not like a long-term thing though, is it?
It's just like quick bang, pain, ow.
It'll be over as soon as it's started.
It's not like an injury that's going to plague you for a long time.
Unless you break your toe and it falls off.
Hopefully, unless you break it.
If you break it, that's another thing, though, isn't it?
That's not covered by the premise.
You don't think?
Just stubbing, simply stubbing your toe.
It's fine.
Normally, that doesn't imply breaking the toe.
No.
That's true.
Okay.
You're quite tolerant then of these things.
Right.
The next thing is this.
People who leave the clear plastic film on things they've bought.
For example, they've bought a digital watch and the little screen still has a little plastic film on it which you're supposed to just peel off straight away so you might get it on a digital watch, a bicycle speedometer, you know an alarm, an electric alarm clock or something like that.
People who leave that clear plastic film on the device they bought intentionally leave it on because quote it protects the screen.
How's that?
How annoying is that?
When you do that and you did the, inverted the commas with your fingers and said because it's Texas, I found that quite annoying.
But, um, I'm going to add that.
People who raise two fingers to make quote marks while talking.
Okay.
Go on.
But anyway, people who leave a plastic film on whatever they bought because it protects the screen.
I don't mind them because I'm guilty of doing it.
Can you believe this?
What?
Only in one item I own.
It's a synth that I bought a couple of years ago.
And I think maybe a part of it is...
Still not quite sure if I like the synth or not.
And I left it on there because I thought I could return this up to like a month after purchase.
And I think I'll leave it on there because it would be just kind of thing.
They're not going to argue, are they?
If they've still got the sticker on, you know you're going to accept it back yeah yeah, whether you've got the receipt or not.
Yeah, it's still got the sticker on the screen.
Come on dude, it's brand new.
Sticker still on the screen.
Yeah fine, it's brand new.
That's the thing.
As soon as you take that film off, the item is no longer brand new, is it?
But I just haven't got around to taking it off and I still don't know if I like the synth that much or not.
But there you go.
But people who are just walking around with a watch on their wrist which still has the plastic film on it.
I quite like that, because you can go.
Do you mind if I just and then just peel it off and go?
Ha ha.
Yeah, I suppose so.
I, for me, that is incredibly annoying.
Um, I'm not quite sure why.
It's a really a pet peeve of mine when i see that people who leave the plastic film on because you say it protects the screen, like it's not there to protect the screen.
It's there to protect the screen while it's in transit so that when you get it it's brand new and you can go bling it's brand new.
It's not for you to go, oh it's, i still haven't like, collected it yet, it's still at the depot, but in your, in your head, it's still in transit.
In your head, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't opened it yet, you haven't christened it yet I haven't committed to actually owning this thing.
Yeah, where are you?
What are you doing?
Yeah, exactly.
I would give that a two.
Very annoying.
Wow.
All of these are very annoying for me.
How about this?
Getting a hangnail when putting on clothes.
A hangnail, listeners.
So you know the nails on your fingers.
Sometimes on the edge of your nail the nail cracks slightly and leaves a kind of slightly sharp little hook.
That's called a hangnail and it catches on things, especially if you are putting on a pair of socks or if you are putting on a woolen sweater or some other thing, or you may be changing the sheets on your bed or something like that.
And the hangnail just gets caught on whatever it is you're using.
So getting a hangnail when putting on clothes, what about you?
How do you feel about that?
I don't know about 15 15, so that's okay.
You're talking.
That's annoying but more or less tolerable okay yeah, i think it's probably fair because i mean i'm not gonna, i'm not gonna go on a rampage because i've got a hangnail.
You know, i'm not gonna go all taxi driver because of that, although he might well have had one.
I mean, you know, when he's doing that thing, lying on the bed pulling the knife out, he could have easily got a hangnail doing that.
Yeah, when he's flicking the gun out of the sleeve of his jacket, he can easily have got a hangnail doing that.
Oh, hangnail hurts, ow.
You talking to me?
You talking to me?
You giving me a manicure?
You gonna give me a manicure?
I've got a hangnail right here.
No?
Okay.
No one else here.
And that's what threw him over the edge is just the irritation of having a hangnail on the corner of his finger.
Next. making a cup of tea and then realizing there's no milk.
Everything for you is going to be, yeah, it's not that bad.
It's not that bad.
I've got to be honest.
I just do without the tea or there's always some fucking oat milk.
I'll have that if I have to.
Yeah okay, fair enough.
Your, your wife, you're okay, because you've got your wife checking if there's milk, sending you texts, while you're recording, like the, the master version of the, the actual release version of the track that you're doing, and worst comes to worst, I'll pop down the shop, get some milk and I'll probably buy like, some snacks while I'm there as well.
Some chocolate digestive biscuits.
Chocolate digestives.
Or maybe if I'm feeling cheap, a double pack of Euro shopper economy digestives.
Just normal digestives, but you get fucking loads of them for about £1.20.
They don't have chocolate.
They don't have chocolate on them, right?
No, no chocolate.
They're just sweet.
That's sweet.
They're as good as any other digestive.
You know, they're not inferior.
Yeah yeah, and you can just stuff your face with them.
Well, you can just eat loads of them.
You get so many.
Yeah, you can just go on a huge digestive biscuit binge.
You just eat until you just realize that you've eaten too many digestives in quite a sort of serious way, like i've probably given myself some horrible disease.
Now You mean diabetes.
I don't want to say it.
It comes out of the realm of funny when you start bringing actual illness.
I'm sorry.
Okay, here's the next thing.
When you think you charged your phone.
Let's say you're going out and you think oh, I better charge my phone.
You plug it in and you think you charged it, but then you pick it up and actually it didn't charge, maybe because the thing wasn't switched on at the wall or it wasn't properly connected.
And now you're about to go out, and your battery is at 6% or something.
I'm at white hot rage for that, I'm afraid.
White hot rage.
So you're beyond three.
You're into four at this point.
I'm just in free fall.
Basically, you don't know where you are.
No, the red mist has come down because i'm addicted to my phone, like everyone else in the world.
Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it?
It's not good, but i do use it for like, my portable music, which we both sort of always have music on the go.
Right, so that's one thing, like i never used to be without my walkman on my mp3 player before.
Yeah, so it's just an extension of that and it's also.
But what if i need to look something up on google and i, you know, i have to wait 20 minutes to find out some piece of information that i could easily wait 20 minutes to find out?
Do you remember in the old days, right before smartphones and stuff, that there would actually be a phone number you could call if you had any question?
I do.
Yeah 118 118, 118.
And you just ask any buyer you want and they just have the internet there and they just give you.
They basically Google stuff for you.
Yeah, like, what is the capital city of Uzbekistan?
Anything.
Something like that.
And they would tell you, but it would cost a lot of money.
It cost you about two quid...
Cause it's like a high charge number.
Yeah.
Those are, those are the days.
Um, so yes, white hot rage.
I agree.
Well, I was just really going to say some.
Some of the buses around here have got um charging points on them.
So just to make sure you get a bus with a charging point, it doesn't matter where you're going.
Change your plans.
Just get on a bus with a charging point, get on any bus and just charge away.
Yeah.
And wherever you end up, at least you'll have your phone with you.
Yeah.
You'll be all right.
Yeah.
You can find an Uber.
Imagine that just literally get you on a bus traveling an hour in the wrong direction, but you're all right.
Cause your phone is charged, and then you're like yeah, I'm in um, I'm in Reading, but uh, it's okay.
I'm going to get an Uber and my phone's working now.
Yeah.
Final thing.
How do you feel about people in shops or other public places who walk too slowly or or who dawdle in entrances or exits or on stairs?
People just getting in the way, walking too slowly or just slowing down in places where they should definitely be getting out of the way, like the entrance or exit of a shop.
Normally, the entrance and exit are the same door, interestingly enough.
But anyway, it's all about perspective, isn't it?
Anyway, how do you feel about people who dawdle?
Walking too slowly, I don't really mind because some people are old or have...
You know, frailties.
So I give them a break.
I don't mind.
You're a good man.
But people who dawdle in doorways, I don't know.
Stay at home.
What are they doing?
What are they doing?
But then again, sometimes it's quite hard to know where to stand.
Like, I always feel like I'm in the way pretty much everywhere I am in my life.
No, as soon as I leave the house, I feel like I'm in the way of someone somewhere.
It's another London syndrome thing.
Like...
Everywhere's a bit too busy and you just feel like, if I stand here, oh, fuck it.
That's city life for you, yeah.
Life in the big city, the big bad city.
Or you just give up and go, fuck it, they can just walk around me.
Yeah.
I don't know how to end this, James, because the questions just go on and on and on.
Pick the three best questions in this call it a day.
I don't know.
One more good one.
One more good one.
They're all good.
I mean, they're all brilliant questions, to be fair.
OK, do you find anything?
We're still on the subject of things being irritating and annoying for some reason.
But anyway, do you find anything irritating about the way that people use English these days?
Some people do.
Some people get really annoyed about other people's use of English.
I don't think you're that kind of person.
But still, is there anything that annoys you?
I mean, sometimes you hear people's accents you don't like as much or people have a jar.
It doesn't really bother me honestly.
People are entitled to use english however they want.
I think it's uh yeah, they can right, it's a tool.
It's not to be dictated from on high.
Yeah, you're not a prescriptivist.
I'm not a prescriptivist, but i'm trying to think there must be some phrases that annoy me.
I mean, it used to annoy me a lot when people said literally, when they didn't mean literally, like i.
Honestly, it was so embarrassing i literally died.
Uh no, you didn't.
Yeah um, i mean, that's slightly annoying.
People go up with a voice like that, like i just did.
Slightly annoying when people go up, everything they say goes up at the end like that.
It's like literally the most annoying thing in the world.
Generally speaking, I don't really give a toss.
Here are some things that people often do find irritating, though.
Not necessarily you, but things that other people might find irritating.
So one of those things is in British English when people speak with Americanisms.
For example, when someone is ordering a coffee, they say can I get a cappuccino?
Give me a coffee.
Give Give me a regular coffee.
No, I mean when they say, can I get a cappuccino instead of, excuse me, could I have a cappuccino, please?
Can I get a cappuccino?
That annoys some people.
I'm all right with it, mostly.
Another thing that people really get annoyed about is when someone says, how are you?
Another person says, I'm good.
That annoys a lot of people.
I say that now.
Yeah.
Most people say that.
I think it's fine.
I just kind of go with the flow language wise.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Cause the thing is people want, people think it should be, um, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Yeah.
The reason that people get annoyed by it is, I think, it's just because it sounds American.
But the argument they have, the reason that they have, is that they think that it sounds like well I'm, you're good.
Like what?
You're a good person.
You're like morally good.
Oh, I don't think, but I don't think anyone ever actually misunderstands.
Here are some other things that you get in advertising or in, in shops and things.
So one of them is a, it's a free gift because a gift by definition is free.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Also, when people say I bought it for free, It doesn't really make any sense, because it should be.
I bought it for £10, but you can't buy something for free.
You just say I bought it free.
Or I got it free.
I got it free, yeah.
Not for free, but I mean, I say that.
I'm not bothered by it, but some people are.
Another thing that can be irritating is when you see things like you know huge discounts, up to 90 off.
Anything up to 90% off.
Could be 5%, could be 90%.
DVDs up to 90% off, up to.
So yeah, the discount is going to be anywhere between 0% and 90%.
So all the DVDs might just be 5% off, but that is included in the range of up to 90% off.
DVDs from £3.
There's another one.
I've thought of one that I was going to say earlier.
Go on.
You've forgotten it instantly.
You've instantly forgotten it again.
I've remembered.
I've remembered.
I've remembered.
I'm not sure if it annoys me as much.
When it first came out, it used to annoy me a lot, and I've kind of softened to it a bit.
But we will say we reached out, or thanks for reaching out.
So I reached out to them and they said, you know, thanks so much for reaching out.
Basically, someone emails you.
Like, for example, someone emails me and says, hi, Luke, I'm a big fan of your podcast.
And I was just emailing to see if you'd be interested in having this guest on your show.
And I write back and say, thanks so much for reaching out.
Yeah.
When it should be, thanks so much for getting in touch.
Thanks so much for contacting me.
It's this reaching out.
Well, I just find reaching out just kind of horrible corporate smooshy smoosh smoosh smooshy smoosh, just bollocks, sort of fluffy language which is trying to make the process of contacting someone sounds kind of touchy, feely and kind of oh, thanks for reaching out.
Reaching out to someone sounds like you're making a huge effort to contact someone and it sounds like you're sort of touching them somehow, reaching through the the screen and just almost touching their fingertips, like thanks for reaching out to us, like the sistine chapel of god reaching out his arm.
We feel so blessed that you reached out to us.
Yeah, it's like it's emotive and it's wang.
But then i thought actually getting in touch is a little bit like that as well.
Yeah, it's a good point, like when you think about it.
I was thinking well, they should be saying get in touch and i was like well, hang on, isn't that exactly the same thing?
Yeah, like get in touch, it's just another touchy-feely sort of word.
So i checked myself yeah, i checked myself and i thought hang on, that's that's bollocks as well.
So it's just new that i don't like it's just because it's new.
Yeah, it's good that you've got that level of self-awareness, because some people just get really upset about these sorts of things and they don't really see how.
It's just an example of Language changing.
It's always been like that.
Yeah, get in touch.
Thanks for getting in touch.
That arguably, is even worse than thanks for reaching out, because get in touch is even less efficient, isn't it?
Thanks for getting within touching range.
Now we're touching.
Thank you for touching, for getting in touch with me.
You mean thank you for contacting me.
Thank you for emailing me.
Thanks for your email.
But it's funny how language can be annoying, especially when it's new.
If it's perceived as a change from normality, especially if it's perceived as, a lot of the time American, I think people get really bent out of shape about it.
Another one is, thanks so much.
Thanks so much.
Rather than thanks very much.
Thanks so much sounds a bit more emphatic and emotional.
Oh, thank you so much.
I was so pleased to hear, i don't know, instead of i was very pleased, it's just a little bit.
Oh gushy, gushy.
Thanks so much, thank you so much.
Thank you so much, so much.
I can't even put it into words like so much, del sanchez, a lot, but thanks so just so very, very much, so much.
I can't even contain or explain how much i want to thank you for for selling me this washing machine loaf of bread.
Thanks so much for the 50p change.
Yeah, but no, it doesn't send me into a tailspin or anything.
No, i think it's fine, isn't it really?
Yeah, wasn't there a question about your favorite gangstar album?
Yeah, there's a few more of your favorite questions.
What's your favorite gangster film?
What's your favorite gangster film?
Quickly.
All right.
My favorite gangster film has got to be Goodfellas, the Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro.
Goodfellas is my favorite gangster film.
I'm going to say Scarface just to get a mention.
Scarface is great as well.
So what was the next one?
The best gangster album?
Quickly.
So that was what was your favorite gangster film.
Then your next question in the list is what's your favorite gang star album?
Now, people might not know what gang star is.
That was a... was it just a duo?
Was it a guru and DJ premiere?
Is it just the two of them?
That's gang star.
So it was a kind of rap group from the nineties gang star.
What's your favorite gang star album?
Um, I don't know the names of their albums.
I think mine is, it's a tough one.
I think it's gotta be the best of gang star.
It's genuinely the only one I had.
It was called full clip.
Um, the best of gangsta.
Yeah well, that's quite a good choice.
What about you?
I might say?
Uh, moment of truth, funnily enough, which is one of the later ones, not not the one that everyone would think of, oh no, you know what?
I used to have that as well.
I used to have the moment of truth as well, and that was one of those sort of late 90s hip-hop albums where it was all a bit more.
There was a bit more, a bit more vibey, less less kind of about the funky little samples and stuff and a bit more clean sounding, right.
Yeah, so it's kind of the peak of that kind of sound, kind of what they call boom back now, but it used to just be called hip-hop.
That's just what hip-hop was Right, yeah.
That's probably time we hung up the mics, isn't it?
Yeah, thank you so much, James.
Say that again.
Thank you so much, James, for this.
It's been wonderful.
Thank you so much for reaching out here on the podcast.
You're so welcome, Luke.
It's been good.
And listeners out there.
I mean you can just imagine how much their English has improved having listened all the way through to this conversation.
Well done for getting to this point if you did.
Um, hopefully we threw in a few.
See again, i kind of almost forgot we were recording for a minute.
That's all right, is it almost?
I mean, it's still there, but yeah, you know, it's not the forefront of your mind.
After a while talking Listeners, if you have managed to get all the way through to this point without becoming a skeleton with headphones on, then you could prove that you're still conscious by saying thank you so much for this episode.
You could also tell us your favorite gangster album or your favorite gangster film.
Or what I often do at this point James, is I'll ask the listeners to use some sort of key word to show that they made it up until this point.
And you can tell when people didn't make it because no one uses the keyword in the comments.
So what's the keyword then?
Well, I don't know.
We've got to decide.
It changes each time.
So what word has come up in the last 10 minutes that you think is sort of memorable?
I can't remember, right?
So memorable.
There's so many memorable moments, Luke, that it's hard to pick just one.
Use the word so.
Just use the word so in some way.
Okay, that would be so great.
And so?
Well, just and.
So what?
So, so what, and so what.
Oh, that was so… Enlightening.
Educational.
Educational.
Enlightening.
Yeah, there you go.
The keyword is so long and so brilliant, so useful, so instructive and so profound.
Thank you so much.
There you go.
Okay, listeners.
Nice one.
Great.
And buy James's album, even if you don't want to.
It's an EP.
EP.
Purple, shiny purple vinyl, translucent purple vinyl.
Who's 004?
OOZ00Z, no, OOZ004.
There you go.
That's all you need to do.
Google that and just carry on as you were.
All right.
Thanks, James.
I've really enjoyed this, I have to say.
You're so welcome.
It's quite fun, isn't it?
Yeah, i think it is and i hope the listeners agree.
Nice one, come back on the podcast soon.
We can talk about anything.
All right, i'm curious to see what what listeners say in response to this.
But lovely talking to you.
Have a lovely rest of the weekend, cheers.
All right Lepsters, I'm still here sitting in the toilet.
Yeah, sitting on the toilet and in the toilet.
That's a kind of thing in British English.
We call both the thing that you sit on... What is it?
Is it an item of furniture?
I don't know what to call it.
The convenience that you have in the room.
The actual thing, the item is called the toilet and the room is also called the toilet.
Whereas in American English, it's different.
They call the room, the bathroom, the restroom, the washroom, even though typically you're not doing any of those things.
And within that room, there is the toilet, which is the thing that you sit on.
Fascinating stuff.
This isn't it.
Anyway, here I am.
I'm still here sitting on the toilet in the toilet.
And that is the end of this rambling chat with my brother.
I really hope you enjoyed listening.
Remember, conversations like this are perfect for your English because you get exposure to natural vocabulary, spontaneous speaking, humour and all the little quirks of everyday English that you might not find in textbooks, or at least the stuff that they try to add into direct teaching materials.
But sometimes the best way is just to discover these features of English in context within this kind of recording of natural spoken English.
But you didn't need to be convinced of that, did you?
Because you listened to the entire thing.
Well done you.
Now, if you want to go further with your English, including getting breakdowns of the English which has come up in episodes like this, you can always sign up to Luke's English Podcast Premium to get exclusive lessons on grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation.
Just go to teachaluke.co.uk slash premium.
In fact, Premium Episode 1, the very first Premium Episode, is a breakdown of English which came up in one of the many other episodes of this podcast with James that you can find in the archive.
P1.
That's not what I'm doing right now in the toilet.
Maybe later.
But no, that's the name of the first premium episode.
It's called P1 something.
I can't remember language review for something.
Anyway, in that episode I break down language from the from another episode in which James and I talked about pets.
And we told stories of the cute and crazy cats that we used to own and the tragic story of our gerbils and the goldfish that we used to have and stuff like that.
So that's premium episode one, a breakdown of language from that conversation with James about pets.
And plenty of other premium episodes deal specifically with language which has emerged naturally from conversations I have had on the podcast.
So for more direct learning from me With episodes like this, you can check out NEP Premium teacherlukecouk slash premium.
And of course, my brother's new vinyl EP is out now.
Ooze 4, that's O-O-Z-0-0-4, out now on Ooze Records.
So if you want to support him, Check the link in the show notes in the episode description and get yourself a copy of that lovely translucent, purple vinyl EP and play it.
Guaranteed.
It is guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
Thank you again for listening to Luke's English Podcast, everyone.
Take care of yourselves.
Be excellent to each other.
Have a lovely morning, afternoon, evening or night.
And I will speak to you again soon.
But for this episode, that's it.
Take it easy.
Catch you next time.
Okay, everyone.
Great.
I'm now, well, I'll keep it to myself what I'm going to do now.
That's between me and myself.
Yes.
All right.
I think it's probably best for me to end the episode, isn't it?
And I'll do it right now.
Thanks for listening.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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