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Okay, let's get started.
Hey, Max.
Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
Hey, David.
Hey, Max.
How are you?
I'm trying to stay warm.
Oh, okay.
Well, you're indoors.
Okay.
Do you not have heating?
What's going on?
I guess that hasn't made its way to my part of the country yet.
Where are you, sir?
Where are you right now?
I'm in Fargo, North Dakota.
Ah, Fargo.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's my favorite movie, by the way.
It really is one of my favorite movies.
I love Fargo.
I wish you talked like that in the movie.
It's my deal here, Gene.
Hey, wait.
Hey, wait.
No, this is my deal here, C. No, no, we talked about this.
There might need to be some incentive for me to talk like Margie.
Yeah, that's okay.
Well, no, we're not going to get into some sort of sex game.
That's not going to happen.
Do you want money?
You can Venmo him.
No, no, no.
I'm not giving him any money for this.
I think it's just an excuse for me to say, it's my deal here, Wade.
No, no.
I mean, I'm sorry.
What accent is that?
It's Fargo.
It's Fargo.
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
Hey, you know, I'm sorry.
You don't sound at all like anyone from the movie Fargo.
He auditioned.
I don't know if I agree with your police work 100% there, Lou.
Hey!
Yay!
Yay!
Max!
Max!
See, what I was doing was a trick to get you to do that.
It worked.
And my bad Fargo accent brought out your good one.
And so I win this round.
I love that.
I love that.
You don't owe me any money.
So, Max, what do you do?
What's your what's besides living in an apartment that has no central heating?
What do you do with yourself, my friend?
I'm a meteorologist.
Oh, cool.
That's cool.
And you're a meteorologist.
Are you on the radio?
Are you on television?
Where do you do your meteorology?
I am on television.
I'm on the Fox affiliated TV station in Fargo.
Oh, very cool.
And because it's Fox, do they encourage you to put like a political slant?
Like, oh, there's a bad storm coming from the left wing.
Oh, the left wing.
From the left wing.
Yeah, the left wing of the state.
There's a bad kooky storm, but don't worry.
Now it's becoming Irish.
It's my deal here.
Hey, no, no, wait, we talked about it.
It's my deal here.
If I stick to my deal here, I think I got the action.
Just repeat that over and over again.
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
Like you're from the Midwest.
Oh, wait, you are.
You're from Southern Illinois.
Yeah, that's true.
Max, I'm sorry.
You're a meteorologist and I'm going to try to bring some sanity.
I think you've upended this conversation with your nonsense.
I think that's a load of bullshit.
Okay.
Hey.
Wow.
Jesus.
All right.
You just take it easy.
You're a meteorologist.
I'm on TV.
I don't have to take this.
Okay.
You're right.
I have the highest respect for you, Max.
I think you've lost control.
You've lost the feeling in your extremities from the severe cold.
So you are in the studio.
You are doing the weather.
Is the weather usually the same in Fargo?
Does it get boring?
You know there's that old joke about it's really boring to be a weatherman in Los Angeles because it's always 72 degrees and fairly pleasant.
What about in Fargo?
It's.
We do have the periods where it'll get a little bit boring, but those are fairly few and far between.
Right now, it's, you know, we've got almost 60 mile an hour wind gusts and blizzard warnings.
So it's.
You know, it's a good weather day to be a meteorologist, but not a good day for pretty much anyone else who wants to do anything around town, because it's not right.
It's not great.
Well, bad luck for other people is good luck for you because you get to say pretty much.
Oh, it's a big storm coming their way.
I'm going to keep going at it.
I'm going to keep going at it.
There's no way to stop me.
So, OK, what kind of do you get outside the studio much?
I mean, are you mostly there in front of the green screen pointing to things like low pressure system, high pressure system snowflakes, that kind of thing?
Yeah, each individual snowflake that comes down, I'm typically outside the studio point.
And here's one.
Here's two.
Okay, listen to me, you son of a bitch.
I'm going to climb through this microphone and come and get you.
You understand me?
Don't you sass me, young man.
All right?
I'm 98 years old.
I've served this country bravely.
In World War II.
And you're going to treat me with respect.
None of your sass now.
This is my deal here, Wade.
Oh, no.
Oh, my Lord.
Make it stop.
I'm in front of the green screen most of the time.
Right.
And do you have to ad lib a lot?
Is that... Because sometimes I would think...
You're there.
And I don't mean to put down your anchor because I don't know who your anchor is.
But what if your anchor just is trying to be funny and you got to kind of have to play off your anchor, who I'm just assuming is you know he's come on.
You're a funny guy, Max.
You're calling in.
You're clearly a fan.
You've already had some good quips.
You put me in my place.
What if your anchor is like and you have to deal with that?
What do you do?
Fortunately, that hasn't happened too frequently, but when you're on air, it's always professional.
I have no experience with that.
I don't know what you're talking about, Max.
Stick with me, baby.
You're going to learn some things.
And one thing you know the news anchors, when they're reading the news, they're reading off of script.
They're reading off a prompter.
When I'm doing the weather, it's all free form.
It's all just off the top of my head.
You're going commando, right?
No, no, seriously.
You're letting the old pendulum swing, if you know what I mean.
Those guys are locked in.
They're just locked in.
And now the weather, you know, and they'll read it.
You know what I mean?
That's what it is.
It's like the movie Anchorman.
You just put it on the prompter and they'll read it.
Do you get outside the studio much?
Do you ever get a chance to get outside and have some excitement?
Well, every once in a while for work, I'll do the weather from outside.
But when I'm not working, especially when it's, you know, warm out and spring summer something I really really like to do
And as I've been doing for a while, as I go storm chasing, I go driving around looking for tornadoes.
Oh, really?
That's cool.
I've never talked to someone who really does that.
Of course, there are the famous iconic movies about storm chasing.
How inaccurate are those movies?
I'm guessing they are fairly inaccurate.
Well, the original Twister, there's they take a whole a lot of liberties with it.
The newest one is a little bit more accurate, but it's definitely not just jam packed balls to the wall.
Action 24 seven.
It's.
It's more so you know you're you're spending a lot of time in a car just driving around, or if you're just hanging out in a field playing catch with a baseball, waiting for storms to go up.
But then it's that one percent when the storms are actually going up.
That is just the sheer adrenaline rush of.
Okay, Max, paint the picture for me.
You hear there's a tornado or the conditions are right for a tornado, and then it comes in over the radio.
The tornado is setting down over near, you know, Cobbler's Grove.
And you say, let's go, gang.
And you all hit the gas and you head towards the tornado.
Is that correct?
Yeah.
Whoa, look at that.
Is that something you just got off online or...
No, believe it or not, I took this.
So you took that photo and you got that close to a tornado.
Now, what if that thing had suddenly started heading?
You know, the way when a bear attacks you, if it's a black bear, you're supposed to do this.
If it's a brown bear, you're supposed to do that.
What do you do if you think a tornado is headed your way?
Is there is there something I should know that might save my life in the future?
The biggest thing is, if you're not sure if the tornado is heading your way or not, is to find a stationary object and just have the tornado in relation to that stationary object, line it up.
And if the tornado is moving to the right of that object, it's going to pass to your right.
If it's moving to the left of that object, it's going to pass to your left.
But if it just appears to be getting bigger...
It's coming straight at you.
Right.
And that's not good news.
That means you just got to book it.
Okay, let me ask you a question.
Because this is something that I've thought about.
And I think about a lot of things.
I'm a thoughtful man.
So I've heard.
When you know, when there's a big wave coming towards you, you can try to run away from it, but sometimes that's the worst thing you can do.
Sometimes you should turn and you should dive into the wave.
Would it ever be a good idea?
Let me finish.
You don't know where I'm going with this.
To dive into the tornado.
Will?
No, and just go with it and like ascend, ascend, ascend.
And there's cows swirling around you, moo, moo.
And there's other people from Fargo.
It's my deal here, Wade.
No, Wade, it's my, hey, no, Wade, I talk to these guys.
They mean business.
It's my deal here, Wade.
And moo, moo.
And you just ascend through them.
Is that a possibility?
I'm surprised you left out Dorothy and Toto in that analogy as well.
There's not as much fun as Fargo.
You know, it's just not as much fun.
Pure old news.
Yeah.
Well, you know what, Conan?
You can come out storm chasing and we'll let you dive into a tornado and we'll see how it goes.
I would.
First of all, I would do it because I am very I do anything for a bit.
And if it's for a bit and I think it'll it'll make people happy, I'll do it.
And you'll just find a red wig later on and some bits of flesh.
Yeah.
That's fascinating that you go chasing after the storms and you don't feel endangered when you're doing that.
Even if you see a tornado, you think, oh, it's a pretty good chance it's not going to come our way.
No, I've been doing it long enough where I have a pretty good handling on being able to look at what I'm seeing in front of me and know if I'm in a good position or in bad position.
There's been a couple times where maybe we're rolling into a town and we're getting reports that the tornado is rolling into the same town we're driving through but We can't see as much because there's trees, there's hills and we've got to try to find somewhere to get visual of the tornado.
Those moments are definitely a lot more scary just because you can't see it.
You don't know where it is and you're trying to get visual on it.
Those are definitely when the blood pressure kind of goes up a little bit more.
Isn't there an app that will tell you where the tornado is.
And there's an app for everything.
And if there isn't, you should invent one.
But there should be an app that tells you there's a tornado and it's six feet that way.
And there's a little arrow.
Well, I don't know if it can be that precise, but there are.
You know, when we're chasing.
I've got the weather radar in front of me and I can see where we are in relation to the storm.
I've got the National Weather Service chat room open so I can see what other meteorologists are saying.
So that's always a big help.
But until you can actually see it for yourself...
Because weather radar can only go so far, especially if you're far away from a radar.
Gotcha.
You're not getting the best picture.
You can't just rely on, I'm guessing it's a Doppler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know the terms.
Well, whatever.
I pretty much helped invent the technology.
Yeah. oh you're that conan yes oh conan orion oh conan doppler orion okay um you uh you seem like a happy chappy max life good is is life good for you you enjoy your life you're a young fellow you're you're a part of a proud guild of meteorologists uh it's i don't know i'm impressed i mean you're You know what I mean?
Sometimes you think, oh, you're going to talk to a meteorologist.
It's going to be some crusty 65-year-old guy who's like, I remember the tornado of 57.
I'm like, oh, Jesus, this guy again.
But look at you.
You're a very young guy, and this is pretty cool.
How did you know a tornado went through Fargo in 1957?
I know a lot about tornadoes.
And I know a lot about Fargo.
Yeah, yeah.
And Fargo.
Except how to do an accent.
Oh, I think my accent is so good, it scares the shit out of you.
And I'll be honest with you.
I can tell you, I can see the color drain from you every time I go, that's right.
Hey, it's my deal here, Wade.
There it is.
There goes the color.
I just live in Fargo, so I'm very, very white.
Do you have family?
What's going on in your life, your social life?
So I grew up in the Twin Cities.
It's pretty close by a couple hour drive into Minnesota.
So most of my family is in the Twin Cities.
So get home early.
When I can, basically, it's it's not always easy to get home, see my family.
But otherwise you know it's when I'm around town here in Fargo it's I've got.
I'm really big in a photography.
So I'm taking pictures.
And that's, you know, obviously, you saw the photo that I took taking pictures of storms.
And and then this past summer, I got really big into starting to take film photography as well.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
I'm just curious, do you ever get together with the other meteorologists?
I mean, and is there a rivalry?
There must be other meteorologists in town from other stations.
And is there rivalry between you guys?
Yeah, well, you've seen Fight Club, right?
Yeah.
Sure.
I love this already.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, the first two rules is I can't talk about it, so.
Sure, sure.
But I'll let your imagination kind of roam.
Or as you would say, hey, Wade, first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club, Wade.
Make it stop, make it stop.
I'm sorry, I just wanted to put a little Fargo spin on it.
We punch each other and then say sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
All right, so sounds like life is good.
Do you have a question for me?
Is there a way I can help you?
I'd like to help you, Max, in any way that I can.
I'd like to use what skills I have.
I'm a humble man, as you can tell.
Says all humble men.
Yep.
That's a sign of a humble man when they tell you.
Yep.
Well, I'm going to maybe break the rules a little bit.
I'm going to ask two questions because I think you're probably not going to have a great answer for the first one that I'm probably not going to use.
Do you have any advice?
Go ahead.
Any advice to kind of spice up maybe my on-air weather forecasting?
No.
Oh, well, first of all, what are you wearing when you do the weather forecasting?
Clothes.
No, but come on, what are you wearing?
How are you dressed?
A suit.
You wear a suit?
Do you have to wear a suit?
I mean, you're a young guy and times are changing fast.
And you're working on a local station and you might want to make a splash.
You might want to jazz it up a little bit.
Maybe you want to go with something, I don't know, a little more au courant.
You know what I'm saying?
Maybe you want to dress more like you would out on the street or out if you're going to a club.
There must be a cool club near you.
He said, not sure at all that there was.
Like a shiny shirt, something that pops.
Or whatever, you know, a hoodie or whatever.
I mean, you've got to.
What you have to do is separate yourself from all the other people in suits that are saying that there's an ice storm moving in and it's going to be cold tomorrow.
You've got to pop.
And if that means you get some fashion-forward glasses a la Jeff Goldblum, whatever you've got to do.
You should do that is in my opinion.
And you said my first answer was going to blow, but it didn't.
It's exactly what you should do.
Not that you're not rocking the world right now in your black T-shirt, but let me tell you something, buddy boy.
If you want to make it, you've got to shake things up a little bit.
I'm surprised.
That was surprisingly better than what I thought I was going to get.
I thought it was going to be, you know, don't wear pants and underwear.
Something like that.
No, I'm not some perv, you know.
You're the guy chasing storms around.
They probably have a restraining order out against you.
The storms have a restraining order?
Yeah, it's a tornado.
They can talk.
They're like, that creep is... I'm just trying to do my... I'm just trying to fly some cows around.
It's that creep again in his van taking a picture of me.
Storm chaser.
Storm perv.
All right, Max, you get one more question.
All right, Conan, when are you coming out going storm chasing with me?
Well, not that you don't make it very enticing, because you've pretty much explained to me that nothing happens 99 of the time, and most of your quips have been insults.
So I'm coming out right away.
Maybe he has, like, good snacks in the car while you sit and wait.
I mean, that's the problem is, I would go storm chasing with you, but I have a feeling that how are we going to time this?
When is good tornado season?
Is it the spring?
Summer?
Yeah, April, May, June.
Okay, I'm going to lock off those three months.
I'm going to get a Best Western in downtown Fargo.
I'm going to walk around going, it's my deal here, Wade.
And...
And then we'll wait for something to happen and then we'll jump in the.
You and I can jump in the van together.
Haven't said that in a while.
Oh, sorry.
And fire up the old Doppler.
Is it a 1780?
What kind of Doppler is it?
What do you got there?
I got the 1800 model.
Those are fantastic.
Those are great.
Yeah.
Just make sure.
Well, you probably have already looked into it.
You got to use the correct megahertz.
Max, I'm going to sign off now.
It was very nice talking to you.
And I like the cut of your jib.
You seem like a fine lad.
Really think seriously about what I said about changing it up a little bit.
Dressing a little fashion forward.
Separate yourself from the herd is what I'm going to say.
Because the rest of the people in that station are going down, going down hard.
You want to survive, okay?
You're young and accentuate your youth.
That's what I say to you.
I'm a survivor.
You're a survivor.
Exactly.
All right?
I think we're good here.
I'm going to ask you to go and look into some indoor heating, if that's possible.
We'll see.
We'll see about that.
Some people like it cold.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not one of them.
No, not at all.
Not at all.
I think it's good to have, especially in Fargo, probably some kind of heating, because the alternative is death.
Max, I hope you survive the winter, and I sincerely doubt you will.
So do I. Yeah.
But if not, I'll come by when we'll chop you up into slices and use chunks of your flesh to cool our drinks.
Max, good day.
Tell my family I love them.
Well, I don't know them, and I'm not sure you do.
Max, I'm ending this.
I tried.
I've tried several times to end it and I just want you to say and if we go out on one thing it's, it's my deal here, Wade.
Oh, my God.
Thanks, Max.
Bye, Max.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan.
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