I've got a show to recommend that I genuinely think you and your kids are going to love.
It's called Lightcatchers, a brand new award-winning cinematic audio adventure from the team behind Batman, High Volume and Story Pirates.
If your house is into pinna favorites like Grim Grimmer, Grimmest or Hero Hotel, this is absolutely your next play.
Stick around for a preview at the end of this episode.
Then search Lightcatchers wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz.
I'm an author.
I'm also a storyteller.
I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales.
You may think you know grim fairy tales, and you may think that they are sweet and boring.
But listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions of the grim tales.
The original grim fairy tales aren't like that at all.
They're weird, and sometimes gross, and often scary.
In other words, they're grim.
And I'm about to walk into a classroom and tell one of the original grim, grim tales to a bunch of kids.
Do you want to join me?
Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale?
Let me help you decide.
On a scale of grim, grimmer, and grimmest, the story I'm going to tell today is grimmest.
It's not super funny, but it is as suspenseful and scary as these stories get.
Also, some sad things happen.
But I promise you, everything will be okay in the end.
In the end, everything will be okay.
If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do.
You could turn down the volume and count to five.
Then turn the volume back up.
If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, just turn the volume down and count to five again.
You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for.
You know what you need.
Okay.
I'm at the classroom door now.
There are kids inside, waiting to hear a grim fairy tale.
So, are you coming in?
Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest.
All right, this story I think is a kind of scary story.
It's called The Old Lady in the Woods.
Yeah, Old Lady in the Woods doesn't necessarily sound like a scary title.
But sometimes it kind of sounds creepy to you.
Yeah.
What's scary about it?
Like, the woods, first of all.
And like an old baby like first I think of, like a woman who's like really wrinkly and like has like a mean face and is like some magical, like old witch.
Yeah, could be.
All right, let's do it.
One day, a girl and her brother were traveling with their whole family.
Mother and father, uncles and aunts, cousins and grandparents, and a large caravan with many wagons and carts.
The girl and her brother were always arguing, and this day was no exception.
The brother was calling the girl a scaredy cat.
Scaredy cat.
And the girl was calling her brother a brat.
Brat.
Do you have something that you call your sibling?
Yeah.
Bro.
Bro.
Henry.
Henry.
Henry, well, those are perfectly fine.
Is his name Henry?
Yes.
Okay, well, that's fine.
When the caravan came to a dark and forbidding forest, the girl began to feel nervous.
She said to her family, Let's not go through there.
I think it's a bad place.
But her family would not listen, and her brother renewed his chance of Scaredy cat, scaredy cat.
So she called him a brat, and they began their regular arguing again.
Well, the forest got darker and darker, but the girl and her brother were arguing so much that they barely noticed.
Eventually, the brother said something that really upset the little girl.
You're just a scared little crybaby.
What's, like, the one thing that, like, really upset your sibling?
Or has, or could upset your sibling?
Yeah.
Well.
Um, if I called him his name backwards.
Really?
That bothers him?
Niece.
Is what?
Niece.
Niece, and he hates that?
He hates that, yeah.
Anybody else have something that really drives your sibling crazy?
Careful, your sister's right here.
It's a mystery.
It drives me nuts.
It drives me nuts.
He keeps repeating that.
It's a mystery?
Yeah, and he keeps chasing me, and he knows it annoys me, and he keeps doing it.
It's actually all the way around you.
You chase me.
Being called a scared little crybaby made the girl so mad that she ran away from the caravan a little way into the woods, which might have been because she didn't want her brother to see her cry.
Maybe.
As the girl was maybe crying, she noticed strange sounds all around her.
She looked up and saw all manner of strange birds streaming past her.
Some, like ostriches, were running.
Others, like parrots and toucans and condors, were flying.
Some birds, which she didn't know the names of, were moving in ways she didn't know the names of either.
What might be some ways that birds move that you've never heard of before?
Yes?
Dugglestaggles?
Yes, they're dugglestaggling.
Yes.
Any others?
I think, uh, flupping, wingering, but I really like dugglestaggling.
Tobble-danning.
Tobble-danning?
I'm pretty sure it's like tobble-ganning.
Tobble-ganning, right, right.
Peekering?
What?
Peekering?
Peekering, yeah, those are all ways that birds can move.
The girl had never seen such strange birds, and they were furious and terrifying.
The girl ducked and hid at the base of a tree.
With her hands over her head and her face, she heard terrible screams.
She was frozen in place.
After some time the screams stopped and the birds were flying and running and double-stoggling and double-ganging and peekering whatever those made-up words mean past her in the other direction.
Back the way they came.
Well, the girl was so afraid that she decided not to move.
Someone would come for her, surely.
Her parents, or someone else from the caravan, or even her brother.
They would come looking for her.
They would.
But no one came.
And no one came.
And no one came.
The girl decided to sit right at the base of that tree and not move until someone came and found her.
Or forever.
Whichever came first.
Well, a day went by.
And then a night.
And then another day.
And not once did the little girl move.
As the days went by, she grew hungrier and thirstier and the grass and the weeds grew up around her.
But never did she budge an inch.
And then a red fox came padding out of the woods.
The girl was startled, but not frightened.
The fox came closer and closer and closer.
It looked into the girl's face, and its eyes were very intelligent.
So intelligent that the girl almost expected the fox to speak.
His eyes looked like, Are you hungry? said the fox.
The girl jumped about a foot and a half.
Sorry if I startled you, said the fox.
And he did sound sorry.
But are you hungry?
The girl nodded.
The fox padded away.
The girl wondered if he was going to get food for her.
She wondered if she would like fox food.
What do you think he'll get for her?
Fish?
Fish?
A rat.
A rat?
Peanuts?
He's got just peanuts sitting around.
Something dead.
Something dead.
A few moments later, the fox returned with a golden key in its mouth.
What is this key for?
The girl asked.
The fox dropped it in her lap and said, Follow me.
The fox led the girl through the woods until they came to the clearing where she'd last seen her family.
There were random pieces of clothing torn to shreds and broken pieces of wagons and bird feathers scattered everywhere, but no sign of her family.
The sight made the girl feel sick.
The fox led her to a certain tree and the girl saw that there was a keyhole in the trunk.
She put the key in the keyhole and turned it.
The tree trunk swung open like a door and inside the tree there was a long table set with all the girls' favorite foods.
She fell on them and started eating hungrily.
She looked up and saw the fox watching her.
She felt strange eating this marvelous feast all by herself.
She said, Would you like some?
The fox replied, Oh no, it's all yours.
She wondered why he wouldn't eat with her, but she was too hungry to wander for long.
Once she'd eaten her fill, the fox said, Are you tired?
Well, the girl was powerful tired after sitting for days and nights in the cold forest.
Now, the warm tree trunk and the heavy meal made her eyelids feel like shutters that the wind kept banging closed.
So the fox padded away.
When he came back, he had another golden key in his mouth.
What's this golden key for?
Follow me, he led the girl across the clearing to another tree that also had a keyhole in it.
She put the key in and turned it, and the tree trunk swung open like a door.
Inside the tree trunk was a great feather bed, laid with pillows and piles of blankets.
The girl leapt into the bed.
As her eyelids fluttered closed, she asked the fox, Would you like to sleep here too?
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And remember it's not a smurf Patrick, let's go.
The clue is floating away in a hot air balloon.
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Anyway, I wanted to let you know that the parents behind Law and Order have something brand new for families.
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But he said, oh no, it's all yours.
Just as the girl started to wonder why, she fell into a heavy sleep.
What do you guys think the fox is up to?
I think, like, you know how farmers, like, they fatten up their pigs to make them healthier?
Maybe it's what the fox is doing and he's using a form of trickery.
That's a really interesting idea.
Yeah, what do you think, Soraya?
I think the fox is secretly the old lady.
When the girl awoke, the sun was streaming through the forest.
The fox sat at the edge of the girl's bed, watching her.
He said, Would you like to wash and have some clean clothes?
The girl nodded.
The fox padded away, came back with a third golden key, and took her to another tree.
The girl put the key in the tree trunk's keyhole and turned it.
The tree trunk opened and inside the girl saw a hot bath and fine clothes and two steaming biscuits on a tray.
She turned to ask the fox if he wanted a bath too.
But then she realized it would be weird to take a bath with a strange fox.
So she pulled the tree trunk closed, took her bath, put on fine new clothes which fit perfectly and came out of the tree to offer the fox one of the biscuits.
He was waiting patiently for her.
When she offered him a biscuit, he said, Oh no, they're all yours.
This made the girl nervous.
Why was the fox doing all this for her?
So the girl put down the biscuits and asked the fox the very question I asked you.
Why are you being so kind to me, fox?
Is there anything you want of me?
The fox looked at her with his intelligent eyes for a long moment.
Then he nodded, and he said, Deep in this dark wood, there lives an old woman in a small shack.
I need you to steal something from her.
The girl was taken aback.
She'd never stolen anything in her life. steal something?
What do you want me to steal?
A ring, said the fox.
Is it a special ring?
You'll know it when you see it.
All right, would you do it?
Would you steal the ring?
I would, yeah.
You would?
Why would you do it?
Magical fox.
What?
It's already very obvious that the old lady's trouble.
You would stay as far away from the old lady as possible?
I'd take the biscuit from her.
I'd do it because the fox was being so nice to me.
Okay.
The girl looked at the fox with his intelligent eyes.
Did they remind her of someone else's?
Maybe they did.
Maybe that's why she wanted to help.
And maybe that's why, after a very long pause and against her better judgment, the girl said I'll do it.
The fox led the girl through the woods to a small house hidden in thick trees.
In the branches of the trees were hundreds and hundreds of birds' nests.
In the nests, birds of many different colors and types were sleeping.
The girl felt afraid.
The fox must have noticed, for he turned to her and said, Are you afraid? she nodded.
And the fox said, Good, because you can't be brave unless you're afraid.
The girl figured that this was true.
Then the fox told her what to do.
When you go into the house, the old woman will try to speak to you.
Don't talk to her, for her words will enchant you.
Hurry to the back of the first room to a blue door.
Go through that door.
In the second room, you will see a table covered in hundreds of different rings.
Pick the right one and go back through the old woman's room.
Don't stop and bring the ring back to me.
The girl said, How will I know the right ring to take?
But the fox replied, You'll know.
Do you have a thought?
Maybe the fox is her brother.
Huh.
Why do you say that?
He didn't know if she recognized him or not.
Huh.
The girl walked under the branches with the nests of strange sleeping birds and arrived at the old wooden door of the house.
She turned the knob and opened the door.
Inside there was a warm little room with a blazing fire, cozy furniture and a little old lady sitting in a chair sewing.
The old lady looked up and said, Oh, hello, my dear.
You surprised me opening the door like that.
Can I help you?
The girl did not respond.
She walked straight past the old lady to the blue door and thrust it open.
The old lady cried, Hey, what are you doing?
Don't go in there.
Please, that's private.
The girl ignored the old lady.
She entered the room and closed the blue door behind her.
There was a golden key in the keyhole.
She turned it, locking the door.
The old woman began knocking.
Little girl, little girl, what do you want?
Can I help you?
But the girl ignored her.
She turned around to face a table covered with rings.
There were so many.
How would she know which one was the right one?
She looked at a beautiful golden ring, inlaid with tiny rubies.
Was this the right one?
She saw a large iron ring.
Maybe that was right.
The old lady's banging on the door grew louder and louder.
"'Little girl, come out of there at once!
Listen to me!
Listen, or you'll be sorry, little girl!'
The girl tried to block out the woman's voice and focus on the rings.
There were silver rings, gold rings, bejeweled rings, simple rings.
How could she know which ring was... there?
Sitting at the far edge of the table was a simple golden ring.
The girl recognized it right away.
She picked it up and looked at it.
Yes, it was her mother's ring.
She clutched her mother's ring in her hand and turned back to the blue door.
She paused.
The old lady had stopped shouting.
What was she doing?
In one swift moment, the girl turned the key and shoved the door open.
The old lady had been trying to peer through the keyhole, and so she was knocked back on her behind.
She cried out in pain.
And then she shouted, Get her!
A horrible beating of wings suddenly surrounded the girl, as all manner of strange and exotic birds, from parrots to ostriches to birds the girl had never seen or heard of, set upon the girl pecking her with their beaks and clawing at her with their talons.
But the girl ran past them and out the front door of the house.
She ran and ran until she could no longer hear the terrible beating and squawking and double-stogging.
Then she found herself back in the clearing.
She stumbled to the ground at the base of a tree, clutching the ring in her hands.
She expected the fox to come up to her and ask her for the ring, but he did not come.
So she waited, turning her mother's ring over in her hand.
As the girl sat there, the tree slowly seemed to lower its branches around her and close her in an embrace.
Its smallest branches were long and delicate, like fingers.
Almost, the girl thought, like her mother's fingers.
So she took the ring and slid it onto the smallest branch.
Just then, the fox came padding out of the woods.
With each step, the fox looked less and less like a fox, and more and more like the girl's brother.
And the branches entwining the girl no longer felt like branches.
They felt like arms.
The girl turned and saw her mother holding her.
And all around the clearing, trees began transforming themselves into her family members.
The girl's brother walked up to her.
You saved us, he said.
The girl said, You showed me how.
And then she said, You aren't a brat.
And you aren't a scaredy cat.
I was afraid.
You were afraid.
And you were so brave.
Then the whole family walked out of the woods, following the girl and her brother.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The end.
I liked how at the end they weren't hugging and it wasn't a mushy ending.
It was a mushy.
It was a little bit mushy.
It was like, oh brother, here you are again.
Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Pinna Original Production.
Created and written by me, Adam Gidwitz.
Author of A Tale Dark and Grim.
Produced and edited by Ilana Milner.
Casting and voice direction by Paula Gammon-Wilson.
Sound design and mixing by Beat Street NYC.
Location recording by Jason Gambrell and Evan Viola.
Narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz.
Special thanks to the staff and students at Brooklyn Friends School and Manhattan Country School.
You guys are amazing.
Far away on the high Caribbean seas roams a swashbuckling pigeon-loving, burrito-gobbling pirate who's well a bit different than the other pirates.
Whoa!
Bless my Brussels sprouts!
Introducing the new podcast Lightcatchers, Season 1, Bob the Bad Pirate.
Bob the Bad Pirate wasn't bad because he liked to hurt people or call other pirates' names like Petunia Pillow Pants.
Bob the Bad Pirate was bad because he just wasn't very good at being a pirate.
Shiver me tooters!
Listen now to Lightcatchers, wherever you get your podcasts, and learn more at BeALightcatcher.com.
Light up the lanterns and follow me.
Introducing A is for Alfie, the first picture book from the award-winning Pinna series Quentin and Alfie's ABC Adventures.
Alfie thinks his name is a little weird, but with his babysitter Quentin, he discovers that every letter holds endless possibilities.
From A is for acrobat to E is for electrician.
Written by award-winning author Randy DuBerck and illustrated by Derek Brooks, this heartwarming, diverse read-aloud is perfect for kids three to six, guiding them through letters while helping them love who they are.
Pick up A is for Alfie wherever books are sold and start your ABC adventure on the page.
