Hello and welcome to Super Great Kids Stories.
Wise tales from storytellers around the world which will make you laugh and sometimes cry.
Recommended for ages 5 to 105.
I'm Kim and I love stories.
Today we have a silly English folktale called Master of Masters.
It's told by Tim Ralphs, who told you the cat that ate the palace.
Did you have a good week, super great kids?
I was very lucky to spend a whole week in several London schools having fun telling stories with five and six year olds.
One school had life-sized models of wild animals in the entrance lobby which had names like Empathy Elephant and Persistent Penguin.
What a great idea.
A lot of the children were learning English as their second language.
I was impressed how quickly they picked up the repetitions and songs and began joining in.
When we're all telling a story together at the same time.
That's when I think storytelling is at its best.
One little boy said to his teacher, these stories are even better than going home time.
Compliments indeed.
Many of you have got in touch to tell us that you've already got a copy of our new super great book.
Thank you for your support.
I hope you're enjoying reading some of your favourite stories.
You can buy our book online or in bookshops, particularly Waterstones and Barnes and Noble.
Look for more details on our website under news at supergreatkidsstories.com now.
Just before we begin this week's story, which is all about having fun with, and trying to remember silly words, I'd like you to have a think about what nursery rhymes or silly songs are in your head.
If you got stuck in a lift that's an elevator in North America what could you do to entertain people?
Do you know a silly song or rhyme like I don't know, Ten Green Bottles or Hey Diddle Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle.
Why don't you try repeating something you know while we have a quick word with the grown-ups.
Are you ready?
Off you go.
Hello.
Did you know?
The Super Great Kids Stories book is available in bookshops and online around the world.
Our stories are designed to inspire families to leave their screens, learn about the world together, be entertained and awed.
We're delighted that our first book of 30 of our best stories has been published by Bloomsbury.
It's beautifully illustrated by artists from across the globe.
The characters you'll meet include a Nancy eating hot pepper soup, Baba Yaga, the bony Russian witch, Molly and the leprechaun and, of course, the ghost of the bloody finger.
Our book will make a memorable Christmas or birthday gift for you to read and enjoy as a family.
Available worldwide, online and in bookshops.
Go to our website, supergreatkidstories.com for details.
Snip, snap, snout.
Our super great book is out.
Hello, super great kids.
I'm back.
Did you remember any silly rhymes or silly songs?
Always useful to have a little rhyme in your head, I think.
One which my grandma taught me is... Oh, the black cat piddled in the white cat's eye.
The white cat said, Cor blimey, I'm sorry that I piddled in your eye.
I didn't know you were behind me.
So there's that.
Now, it's time for our story.
It's told by the witty storyteller Tim Ralphs, who told you the cat that ate the palace.
Do join in with copying the silly words.
Ready?
Let's give a warm welcome to...
Tim.
Well hello you super great kids.
It's Tim here and I've got another story for you.
In this story things have got really strange names.
There's going to be some very odd words coming at you, but I will repeat them every time and, if you want, as you're listening along, you and anyone you're listening with can say the words with me when they repeat.
You got that a way of us all to join in together.
All right, here we go.
Once upon a time there was a girl, a young woman, and she decided that it was the right time in her life for her to make her own way in the world.
So she kissed her mother and her father, she said goodbye to her brothers and sisters and off she went.
Now back then.
If you decided it was the time in your life to get a job, to make your own way in the world, you went to the hiring fair.
It was like a marketplace for people who were looking for work and people who were looking for people to work for them.
So our young woman, she joined a queue of other men and women who were all looking for work.
Some were tall, some were short, some were smartly dressed, some were a bit shabby looking.
And they waited all day as people who might give them a bit of work walked up and down the line and asked them questions and talked to them about what kind of work might be on offer.
And our young woman.
Well, as the day went on, one after another of the other people in that line went away, found a job, found something to do.
And at the end of the day, as the sun was setting, she was the last one left.
No one had chosen her.
And then she saw coming through the hiring fair a very finely dressed man with some wonderful boots on his feet and fabulous twirly moustache on his upper lip, and he went over to her and he said what sort of things can you do?
And she said well, i can cook and i can clean And I can stitch and sew and I can.
I'm not interested in any of that.
He said
No, to me the most important thing is that you learn the proper names for things and always call them appropriately.
Oh, she said.
Well, I could certainly do that.
And what is it that you're hoping for from me?
Well, all I want in a boss, she said, is that you like me and that you're kind to me and, at the end of each week, that you give me a fair wage for my work.
Well, he said, I think we'll get along fine.
You come with me.
So she followed him out of the hiring fair.
And as they were walking, he looked over his shoulder and he smiled and he said What are you going to call me?
She said, Well, sir, you haven't told me your name yet, but I could call you David.
Or I could call you Robert.
Whatever you please, sir.
No, he said, nothing like that.
You must call me Ichabod Bickabod.
I said, you must call me Ichabod Bickabod.
And on they walked.
And they hadn't gone much further when he looked over his shoulder again and he smiled and he said Now the question of titles.
How are you going to refer to me?
And she understood what he meant.
She said well, I could call you Sir, or I could call you Mr.
He said no, that's not what I'm after at all.
You must always refer to me as the Master of Masters.
I said the Master of Masters.
Well, she nodded her head.
Master of Masters.
That sounded a bit proud.
That sounded like he was bigging himself up, but He was her boss, so she had to do what she was told.
Well, they walked on a bit further and he gestured down at his feet and he said What about those down there?
What would you call them?
And she said, Oh, well, I could call them your boots, or I could call them your shoes.
Ah, he said, Oh, you know so little.
The only thing to call those is my cayley treaders, I said, Mike.
Hayley Treaders.
And she smiled back at him.
She was getting the rhythm of things now.
On they walked.
And again he spoke.
He gestured to his shirt.
He gestured to his trousers.
What would you call these?
Well, sir, I'd call them your clothes.
Or I'd call them your shirt and trousers.
Whatever you please, sir.
No, no, no, he said.
These are my squibs and crackers.
I said these are my squibs and crackers.
And they walked a bit further.
They walked a bit further until he was pointing at a very fine house at the top of a hill.
That's my place, he said.
And what would you call that?
Oh, she said.
Oh, it's lovely.
I could call it your house.
I could call it your manor.
Whatever you please, sir.
He said silly girl, the right name for that is the castle castle carbuncle.
I said the castle carbuncle?
Oh, she said, scratching her head, the castle carbuncle got it.
Well, just outside the house, i mean the castle carbuncle, there was a well and he pointed down the well and said what would you call that down there?
She peered down into the darkness of the well and she said well, i would call that water or i could call it wet Or whatever you please sir.
I said, no, no, no, no, no.
You must call that Pondalorum.
I said, you must call that Pondalorum.
Oh, she said, I understand.
Soon he led her into the house.
It was as fine and wonderful inside as it had been outside.
And the very first thing she noticed was that he had a great big fluffy tail.
I wonder if any of you listening have got cats at home or have friends who have cats as pets.
What, he said.
What would you call that?
Oh, sir, she went on.
I could call that your cat or your kitten or your little pet pussy.
No, no, no, no, not at all.
No, that is the white-faced simony.
I said that is the white-faced simony.
She nodded.
And what about that?
He said, pointing to the fire that was burning in the hearth.
All the logs smouldering away and little tongues of flames.
And she said, well, I'd call that the fire or I'd call that your flames or whatever you please, sir.
No, no, no, not at all.
You must call that the hot cockalorum.
I said, you must call that the hot cockalorum.
And as the day wore on, Ichabod Bickabod was getting tired.
And he went upstairs.
He'd taken off his shoes, his ceilidh treaders at that point.
And he sat down on his bed and the mattress creaked under him.
And he said, what would you call this?
Now, it was a fine bed, four poster.
And she looked at it and she said, well, I'd call that your bed or whatever you please, sir.
No, he said, you're making me angry now. is my dowry manger.
I said, this is my dowry manger.
And our young woman, she thought it was best to leave him to get to bed at this point.
So she closed the door and she went downstairs.
Now there was only one bed in the house.
So she laid out some blankets in front of the fire and she curled up on them like it was a nest.
And soon she was warm enough and comfy enough.
And she'd walked so far that day that she was very swiftly fast asleep.
While she was asleep, the cat, the white-faced simony, came and sat on her chest and purred.
And even though she was mostly asleep, she stroked it.
But during the night, she rolled over.
And when she rolled over, the cat rolled off her to where the fire was still burning just a bit and the tip of the cat's tail fell in the fire and its fur started to burn and it gave a great big meow and began to run round the house well our young woman she woke up in a flash and she took a very deep breath and she cried out as loud as she could "'Ickabod, Bickabod, master of masters, get out of your dowry manger "'and put on your squibs and crackers and your ceilid treaders "'for the white-faced simony's got some hot cockalorum on the tip of her tail "'and if you don't get a bucket of pondalorum "'then the whole castle carbuncle will be burnt to ashes.'
"'Well,' Ickabod Bickabod was out of his bed in a trice "'and he did exactly as she had asked.
'And when the fire was out and the cat was settled' sitting down on their lap, and they gave it a stroke and it was a little bit upset about its tail having caught fire.
He looked at the young woman and he smiled and said you have done a good job learning the proper names for things.
And from that day forward he liked her and he was kind to her and at the end of every week he paid her a fair wage for the work that she had done.
Thank you very much to Tim Rouse for that story.
Did you remember any of those strange words?
It's a bit like learning to speak a new language.
I wonder if you've ever tried making up your own language.
That story was written down by a story collector, Joseph Jacobs, over a hundred years ago.
He wrote a book called English Fairy Tales which included stories like Goldilocks and the Three Bears and The Old Woman and Her Pig, which Jason Buck tells on Super Great Kids Stories.
If you like that story told by Tim, you might like The Boy Who Drew Cats or The Cat That Ate the Palace.
Maybe we should be calling Tim the Cat Man.
Tim was on our last online show telling not a cat story actually, but a wolf story.
It was very good.
Our next online show is on Saturday, December the 13th, with guest storyteller the marvellous Sheila Arnold from the US, who told us the tale about the Weeping Willow.
Remember that one?
I just wish I could change colours.
Look on our Facebook Patreon page or website if you'd like to join Jason, Amy me and Sheena Arnold on Saturday, December the 13th.
And now it's time to fly around the world with Story Hour and say hello and thank you to all the Owlets who recently joined our storytelling club.
We begin in Bristol, here in the UK, to say hello to Owlet Joy, who is eight, who I met last month at the Cheltenham Literature Festival.
Joy says she can't possibly choose her favourite story because she loves them all.
What a nice thing to say, Joy.
All the way around the world and south, next to Australia, where Maya, who's five, lives in Newcastle.
Maya's been listening since she was three and has listened to all the stories.
She especially likes the spooky ones, but most recently loves the two silly witches told by Emily Hannah Graysbrook.
Up to the US state of Wisconsin next to say hello to Ella, who's nine, who listens in the car and sometimes goes round the block a few times to make sure she hears the end of the story.
Ella's favourite is the Irish tale Eggshell Soup, especially the funny voices.
I want whisky.
Heading south now to Hot Springs, Arkansas, to say hello to James, who is 10 and listens every day.
His favourite is the Mexican story, A Ram in the Chili Patch.
Oh, I like that one too, James.
A very good choice.
Flying east next to Virginia in the US, where Matilda, who is 7, lives in Fairfax.
She's been listening to Super Great Kids stories since 2021.
Wow, that makes you a Super Duper Booper fan.
Her favourite is the Japanese story, The Boy Who Drew Cats.
Back across the US to Draper in Utah now to say hello to Eleanor, who's seven and loves River Mama and Marina and Marino.
And to five-year-old Henry, whose favourite is The Gingerbread Man.
Ooh, and their mummy Madeline, who loves Bonita the Tricky Sheep.
Ah, yes, me too, Madeline.
The song in that story is so catchy.
And staying in the US, hello to Super Great Kids Story fan Sylvia, who is seven.
Her favourite is the story from Poland, Misery, told by Emily Hennessy.
Yes, that is a brilliant story, isn't it, Sylvia?
Across the pond from the US to the UK, now to Wandsworth in South London, to say hello to super fans Johnny, who's eight, and five-year-old Jessie.
They've attended not one, but two of our live shows in London.
Johnny really likes Toop's story How Snakes Got Their Poison, and Jessie likes all of the Baba Yaga stories.
Way down to Australia again now, where it's springtime to say hello to Daisy, who's four and lives in Melbourne.
Her favourite is Lullaba and the Eagle.
She just loves Hannah's singing.
Another of Daisy's favourites is the Chinese tale Why Rooster Brings the Sun.
And thanks to all of you who are supporting us on Apple or Patreon.
We depend on your generosity and support to keep making this podcast.
It helps us to pay our storytellers and it gives you access to all sorts of lovely extras, like all of the Super Great Scary Stories and, depending on your level of subscription, to loads of bonus stories, with 200 more stories in our new archive.
Plus, you'll get access to our Super Great Kids Stories Express, which which cuts straight to the story.
Great for listening to stories back to back.
Visit our website for more details at supergreatkidsstories.com.
And our pick of the week picture is from Super Great Stories, fan Marie, who was inspired by the story Stargazy Pie.
Jason Buck told us all about Tom the brave fisherman from Cornwall in the UK who went out in a winter storm in his little boat to fetch fish for the hungry villagers in Mousel.
I just love your huge pie with fish heads poking out from the crust, looking up at the night sky.
And I really like the way you've drawn everyone sitting around the table, including Tom, the hero of the day.
Thanks for sharing your imaginative drawing with us.
And yes, More good news.
We have a new picture gallery for those of you who want to send us a picture but don't have access to Facebook.
Do send us any of your pictures inspired by our stories to our website supergreatkidsstoriescom or to our Facebook page facebookcom.
Forward slash supergreatkidsstories and we'll post them.
That's it for now.
Keep telling your stories and singing your songs.
Have a happy week.
This podcast was produced by Kim Normanton and David Smith at Wardour Studios in fabulous Fitzrovia in London.
