Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here.
On today's episode, Megan learns to drive.
And if you've ever experienced someone learning to drive, you know it can be harrowing.
And of course, we have two brand new stories written by kids and more story love with Lee and Peter.
It's all coming up after a few words for the grownups.
Hey, grownups, Lee here.
See Story Pirates live.
Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast.
And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once.
Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines.
We'll see you soon in Munhall Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh Cincinnati Ohio Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut.
Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com slash live.
It's just around the next corner, Eric.
Okay, Megan.
I'm starting to feel better already.
Remind me, where are we going again?
The Pence-Ohio Public Theater, Niminy.
Oh, right.
And why are we heading there again?
We happen to be in the area and you and Eric expressed an interest in seeing where I first learned to hone my craft.
That's not quite how I remember it.
Wasn't it more like you found a bad review of your most recent one-woman show on the sixth search page of your name?
And you couldn't stop talking about it for days?
Then you said the only thing that'll help me shake this feeling is to see the stellar review of my first ever one-woman show that the Pence Ohio Public Theater has framed in their lobby.
Sounds a little familiar.
And then you two enthusiastically raised your hands to drive me there in the tidal wave, since I don't have a license.
Wasn't it more like we all drew straws?
And Eric and I got the short straws?
Which everyone knows means you won.
Right.
That's why we dropped everyone else off at the Super Fun Science and Guitar Museum.
But you two weren't specifically interested in that museum anyway.
And here we are.
Come on, let's go.
Do you see it?
That building right there is the prestigious Lort D Regional Theater, the Pensahio Public Theater.
Megan, are you OK?
Your knees buckled and you dropped to the ground.
Doth my eyes deceive me?
That's the Pensahio Public Theater building.
But instead of the old marquee up front, There's a huge sign that says this is the the, the The Pence-Ohio DMV.
Swoon and collapse.
I love Story Pirates!
It just filled me up with joy.
My mom loves the jokes.
Yo, yo, my joke.
It made me very proud about my writing.
No!
You know, like, hamburgers was the name.
I definitely think I can be more creative now.
I'm the champion!
The Sully Pirates.
Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everyone.
Where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy.
And songs so soon.
Since the theater's not here, let's go join everybody else at the super fun Guitar and Science Museum.
Yeah.
I suppose you're right, but so soon.
Excuse me.
You look lost.
You have no idea, kind DMV employee.
Nah, we get a lot of lost-looking people here at the DMV.
Are you here to sign up for a driver's test?
I got one slot left available at the end of the day.
Oh, no, I already have one.
Yes!
Whoa!
Okay, I'll put you down on my list.
See you in a few hours.
If I get my driver's license, that would be a tangible accomplishment.
Something that would make me feel better.
Would you two help me prepare?
I don't know about this, Megan.
Eric, if we don't help her now, she's just going to stay fixated on the bad review.
Plus, this way, she can drive herself to her next wild side quest.
Great point, Niminy.
Of course we'll help you, Megan.
I'll pull out a study guide and we can get started.
While you two do that, how about we hear our first story from a kid?
Sounds great.
And here to introduce it is the author.
Hi, my name is Emmett.
I'm nine years old, and I live in California.
This is my story, The Kid That Has a Bad Name.
Honey, come downstairs, please.
It's time for school.
Coming.
That son of mine.
What a wonderful kid.
I'm so glad I named him Do You Like Hot Dogs?
Hey, Mom.
There's my little do-you-like hot dogs.
Yeah, that's me.
Hey, Mom, bad news.
I can't go to school today.
What?
Why not?
Well, it's not because I'm embarrassed by my bad name.
It's because...
I'm sick.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
That's the fakest cough I've ever heard.
Come on now, do you like hot dogs?
Of course, I love hot dogs.
Oh, no, I wasn't asking if you like hot dogs.
I was just saying your name.
Right.
Now off to school or you'll be late.
Oh, before you go, I wanted to ask what you feel like for dinner.
Do you like hot dogs?
Yes, what is it?
What's what?
You said my name.
Oh, sorry.
This time I was asking if you like hot dogs.
Do you like hot dogs?
Do you like hot dogs?
That's it.
I'm going to school.
Okay, bye.
Here I am at school.
Boy, I can't wait for people to say my bad name.
Oh, hey, there's my friend Tyler.
Hey, do you like hot dogs?
Of course.
I love hot dogs.
No, I'm just saying hi.
Oh.
Do you like hot dogs is your name, right?
Yes, Tyler.
We do this every day.
Hey, do you like hot dogs?
Do you like hot dogs?
Oh, thank goodness.
That's the bell.
We'd better get to class.
All right, class, take your seats.
Time for me to take attendance.
Here it comes.
Tyler.
Here.
Sarah.
Here.
Do you like hot dogs?
Yes.
What?
I said, yes, because you asked me if I like hot dogs, which was weird, but whatever.
Oh, sorry.
I wasn't asking if you like hot dogs.
Oh, were you asking me if I like hot dogs?
No.
I was asking if Do You Like Hot Dogs is present.
Ooh, I would love hot dogs as a present.
Me too, me too.
No.
I'm not asking Do You Like Hot Dogs.
I'm reading the name Do You Like Hot Dogs off my attendance list.
Oh, right.
I'm here.
Thank you, Do You Like Hot Dogs.
But now that you mention it, do you like hot dogs?
Well, I guess we'll never find out.
Taking attendance was so confusing, it took the whole class period to finish.
Just like it does every single day.
Well, hope you all have a good lunch.
Time for lunch here in the cafeteria.
I just hope we're not having... Oh, boy!
Hot dogs!
Oh, no.
I hope everything goes smoothly with the lunch lady.
All right, kids.
You know the drill.
You tell me your name, and I serve your lunch.
Nice and easy.
Who's first?
Me.
I'm Tyler.
Here you go, Tyler.
A fresh batch of hot dogs with all the fixings.
Thanks.
Who's next?
Me.
Name?
Do you like hot dogs?
Course I do.
Favorite meal of the month to cook.
Name?
Do you like hot dogs?
I love hot dogs.
Always glad when there's leftovers because I can take them home.
Now, don't be holding up the line.
Tell me your name.
Do you like hot dogs?
Now, don't you get smart with me, young man.
But I'm trying to tell you that... That's it.
No hot dogs for you.
I'm calling the principal.
Principal.
Principal here.
Did someone call for me?
Yes.
This kid is holding up the lunch line on hot dog day of all days.
The gall.
What's your name, young man?
Do you like hot dogs?
Of course.
They're delicious.
What's your name?
Do you like hot dogs?
Yes, with mustard, onion, celery salt, the works.
Tell me your name.
Do you like hot dogs?
Yes, I do.
What is your name?
I can't do this anymore.
That's a weird name.
No, no, no.
He's saying he's going home.
But school's not over.
You'll get in so much trouble.
Oh, he can't hear me because he already left.
Well, I hope he has fun at home.
Hi, Mom.
I'm home.
What?
But school's not over.
It is for me.
I'm going to my room and not coming out until I'm rid of this bad name.
Wait.
Do you like hot dogs?
Of course I do.
I love hot dogs.
That son of mine.
I'd better go talk it out with him.
He locked the door.
Well, good thing I always have a key.
Mom!
Sorry, sweetie.
I had to.
Now what's wrong?
I hate my name.
What?
Why do you hate your name?
Because it doesn't make any sense.
Someone says my name and then I always say of course, because I love hot dogs, but they're actually just saying my name.
And if I try to tell someone else my name, then they keep saying, yes, I like hot dogs.
It's confusing.
But do you like hot dogs?
Your name makes you special.
It does?
How?
First of all, it's tradition.
You come from a long line of people with special names.
Your father is named, how's it going?
Mine is, yes, thank you.
Your grandfather, who's on first?
Oh, yeah.
And second, your name is special because it's unique.
Think about it.
Have you ever met anyone with the same name as you?
No.
See?
Your name is special because you're special.
Huh.
I guess I never thought of it that way.
Well, what are moms for if not to offer the wisdom of our age?
Now, please go back to school.
Okay, Mom.
Did you remember your backpack?
Yes, thank you.
Do you like hot dogs?
Since when did you start referring to me by my first name?
Mom, I meant yes, thank you, as in yes, I have my backpack, thank you.
Oh, because you said... But that's actually my... Okay, all right.
We have fun.
Have a great time at school.
Here I am, back at school.
Hey, Tyler.
Hey, you're back.
Yeah, I got mad because of my name, but then I realized my name makes me special.
There's nobody else in the whole world who has it.
And there are a lot of good things that go with that.
Like, I'll never get my drink mixed up at a coffee shop.
Sure, it'll be expensive getting my name embroidered on stuff.
But that's a price I'm willing to pay to be a kid with a good name.
The principal!
Hello, Tyler.
Hello, Do You Like Hot Dogs.
That was a right pretty speech, Do You Like Hot Dogs.
In fact, you've inspired me to embrace my own bad name.
Oh, your name couldn't be as bad as Do You Like Hot Dogs.
No, it's worse.
Well, what is it?
My name is... Principal... Buttface.
Principal Buttface?
I told you!
The end.
And now, Lee speaks with the author.
Emmett, I am so excited about your story, The Kid That Has a Bad Name.
How did you come up with the idea for that story?
Can you think of any of the other funny names that you guys have used in stories in the past?
One was do you like hamburgers?
Yeah, I do.
But what were the names in the stories?
Do you like hamburgers?
Yeah, I do like hamburgers.
But what was the name?
That was the name.
That?
Oh, the name is that?
Yeah.
T-H-A-T?
No.
Do you like hamburgers was the name.
Yes, I do.
I do like hamburgers.
I'm sorry.
I just had to do it.
I had to do it, Emmett.
Are there any other funny names that you and your mom have had in your stories?
I forgot.
Oh, I forgot's the name?
No, actually, I forgot the name.
Oh, the name is actually I forgot the name?
No, actually, I actually forgot the name.
Oh, sorry.
Actually, no, actually, I forgot the name?
That's the name?
It is pretty funny, I have to admit.
So let's talk about the principal's name.
In your story, Do You Like Hot Dogs?
Learns to appreciate their name a little bit because their mom explains that.
It's a special name for a special kid.
Do you think that Principal Buttface appreciates his name?
I think he thinks, like, the name causes too much trouble.
Like, every time someone says his name...
He says, yes, I do, after everyone says his name.
Mothers, fathers of the world, please don't name your children, Buttface.
Please.
Do you agree with that?
Yeah.
Let's think of other funny names for characters.
Ooh, I've got one.
What?
I just told you.
Ooh, I've got one.
That's the name?
Yeah, that's the name.
Emmett, thank you so much for bringing this hilarious idea into my life and for letting us perform your story.
You're welcome.
Bye.
Bye.
Wow, what an amazing story.
I agree.
So imaginative.
Almost as imaginative as some of the answers you're giving to these basic driving questions, Megan.
Can you blame me?
The only driving I've ever done is on film sets.
And you know that's just when you sit in front of a screen of a moving landscape and concentrate on jostling around in a way that matches the scenery.
It's not as easy as it looks.
Okay, last question here, and then we should have you take a few practice laps before your actual test.
We've only got a few minutes before the DMV employee comes back to start the actual test.
I'm ready for the last question.
Okay, when passing a slower car on the freeway, which lane should you use?
The right lane.
Because as the faster car, I have the right of way.
No, Megan.
The left lane.
Hmm.
Okay.
Use the left lane.
Because they're about to say she left us behind.
Right.
I think you mean left.
Oh, come on, you two.
Taking this paper road test is all about memorization, which I, as an actress, am an expert at.
I may have guessed all the wrong answers when you quizzed me, but you told me the correct answers and I already memorized them.
If you say so.
Let's see how you do behind the wheel of the tidal wave.
Here are the keys.
Oh, these are no fun.
It's just a plain old ring of keys.
Where's the little photo frame?
Or the lucky rabbit's foot?
Or the carabiner?
You mean carabiner?
It doesn't have one of those either.
Megan, focus!
Now unlock the ship and get into the driver's seat.
That locks it.
That's the trunk.
And that's the alarm.
There, we're in.
Ooh, this is so exciting.
Vroom, vroom and all that.
Engine on.
Now, the first thing you want to do is... You don't have to tell me.
Adjust the seat and side mirrors.
Very good, Megan.
So, this lever must move the seat.
I'll just put it in D for driver's seat.
No, Megan, that's the... Gear shift!
We're moving!
What should I do?
Hit the brake!
Got it!
That's the gas!
Hit the brake!
Is this the brake?
This lever says brake on it.
I didn't realize the brake is up by your hands.
That was the parking brake.
I'm not sure how this happened, but you spun us in a perfect circle, just like they do in the Swift and Irritated movies.
Some stunt people train for years to do that.
I'd be impressed if I wasn't so terrified.
Not the first time I've heard that.
Maybe we should start with something easier.
Like parallel parking?
Three-point turns?
Tokyo Drift?
Maybe just try turning on the headlights.
Okay.
Oh, dear.
Okay, last driver's test of the day.
You ready?
No.
Absolutely.
I'll take that as a yes.
Since you're already in your honestly huge vehicle that for some reason also looks like a ship.
We'll start with the road test portion of the exam.
But you two can't all be in the car.
We're only allowed to drive with the person taking the test.
Good luck, Megan.
Eric, before you leave, give me a character to play.
What?
You said one of your all-time favorite movie franchises, Swift and Irritated, is all about awesome drivers.
Just give me a character to play that might be in a future movie to get me through this test.
Okay um, your name is Nancy and you're an undercover government agent sent to join the crew only.
You're a double agent sending information back to the bad guys.
Sounds overly complicated for a car movie.
It is.
And your catchphrase is, I don't play or pay fair.
Got it.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Can we start, please?
You two, out of the car.
Okay.
Sure.
Okay.
Now that I'm safely inside Megan, please roll your window up and let's pull out onto that busy road there.
Rightio, governor.
I just hope it's not a toll road, cause I don't play or pay fair.
There's one in every test group.
There she goes.
Wow, she pulled into traffic so smoothly.
She signaled like a pro.
Now she's switching lanes?
So smooth and perfectly executing a U-turn to come back to the parking lot.
Where she's doing a three-point turn.
Head-in parking into a tight spot.
And parallel parking.
And Tokyo drifting like a pro.
Whoa!
I've never seen that done from a parked position.
Now she's getting up and giving us the thumbs up.
The DMV worker's giving her a paper test on a clipboard.
Wow, she's really buzzing through it.
She's already handing it back to them, and they're grading it?
Oh, why are we all the way over here?
Let's go over and hear the test results.
Incorrect!
Does this mean It is my privilege to inform you that you have passed the driver's test and now will have a driver's license issued by Pence, Ohio County?
Hooray!
I just need you to fill out your personal information here and you'll have your license in a jiff.
Thank you both so much for helping me.
I couldn't have done any of this without you.
To think I started the day off so upset about a bad review and ended it having achieved something real.
Something I'll be able to carry around with me and say, look, I did that.
There you go.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Megan!
You worked as hard as you probably could have in one afternoon.
And I'm glad my character suggestion helped.
Would you want to watch one of the movies sometime?
There are 37 of them.
Sure.
Maybe the plots will make sense to me now that I'm a licensed driver.
Only, you're not a licensed driver.
What?
And to show you how serious I am, I'm tearing up your application.
My accomplishment.
Swoon, clutch my heart and fall to the ground.
Megan!
Megan!
We'll be right back after a few words from the grown-ups.
Hey, grown-ups.
Today's episode is sponsored by Quince.
This time of year always makes me rethink what's in my closet.
I'm trying to keep fewer things but better ones.
Pew! pieces that are well-made and easy to wear all the time.
And that's why I keep coming back to Quince.
The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense.
Quince makes high-quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100 European linen and their insanely soft flow knit active wear fabric.
Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable and comfortable basically the perfect layer for spring.
The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined, so you look put together without trying too hard.
And their Flonit activewear?
Moisture-wicking, anti-odor, and soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it all day.
The best part is that their prices are 50-60% less than similar brands.
How?
Quince works directly with Ethical Factories and cuts out the middlemen.
So you're paying for quality, not brand markup.
Everything is designed to last and makes getting dressed easy.
I have this blue cashmere sweater from Quince and I just love it.
It's honestly probably the nicest looking thing that I own.
I normally wouldn't even wear something that looks that nice because I eat a lot of sauces.
But then I remember how affordable Quince is, so why not?
Live a little!
It's also so soft and cozy, so when I wear it I'm like a fuzzy little unicorn and everyone wants to hug me.
At first I was like, wow, people must like me.
But then I realized, oh, it's a sweater.
Refresh your wardrobe with Quince.
Go to quince.com slash storypirates for free shipping and 365-day returns.
Now available in Canada, too.
Go to quincecom slash storypirates for free shipping and 365-day returns.
Quincecom slash storypirates.
Hey grown-ups, Lee here.
See Story Pirates live!
Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast.
And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once.
Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines.
We'll see you soon in Munhall Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh Cincinnati Ohio Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut.
Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com slash live.
Megan, wake up.
We're back from the break.
Here, let me help.
I was a tad overdramatic back when I ripped up your application, and now I feel bad.
Thank you.
But why can't she get a license?
She passed the driving and written test portion of the driver's test with flying colors.
That's true.
Only I saw your address on this line here.
So?
So, you're not a local resident.
You must have a local address to qualify for residency and a state license.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe we should have checked that earlier.
First, I lost the Pence Ohio Public Theater, the most well-respected well-regarded, well-reviewed regional Lord D Theater in the world.
And now this.
Wait a minute.
You know about the Pence-Ohio Public Theater?
Know about it?
I was an apprentice here.
I started my career here and even created my first one-woman show entitled Looking at the Rain.
You know it?
Know it!
I only saw it like 30 times.
I loved the theater.
And I especially loved your production.
That moment where you caught that daisy with your teeth to show how much you missed your mother.
And she thinks swift and irritated plots are hard to follow?
I think about that all the time.
The whole reason I work at the DMV is because of the theater.
Because you liked being in the space and wanted to preserve that magical feeling?
Yeah, something like that.
I mean, I showed up to buy season tickets, but the theater had been replaced by the DMV and they were hiring, so I applied.
But, uh, your reason sounds good, too.
Wow.
I never thought I'd be able to meet the Megan.
Aw, shucks.
And I never dreamed I'd turn her down for a license.
Wait, that came out wrong.
I'm just very moved.
Not as moved as I. Thank you for everything.
Thank you?
I didn't help with anything.
No, you've taught me that the impression that one's artistry leaves is real.
Even if the review in the lobby has been replaced by signs pointing you to vision tests.
Brochures about driver safety.
And lines upon lines upon lines of stressed out people.
Speaking of which, I should get back in there and close up for the night.
So nice to meet you all, and sorry I couldn't give you a license.
I can, however, give you these stickers that look like different street signs.
Here, I got healed.
I got railroad crossing.
And I left turn only.
Megan, are you crying?
Yes.
But don't worry.
These tears aren't from my bad review, but from my great memories.
Okay, that's about it for me then.
Um, bye now.
Time to head back and catch up with the rest of the story pirates.
I doubt any of them had as exciting a day as we did.
Now, who's driving?
No, seriously, me or Eric.
I don't care either way.
We should just figure that out.
Oh, right.
Yeah, I'll drive.
Megan, will you hand me the keys?
Oh, sure.
Okay, I had them right here in my pocket.
Didn't I?
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
There they are.
I left them in the ignition.
Let's try the doors.
Maybe they're unlocked?
Oh, dear.
I locked the keys in the ship.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
We have Rolo's side assistance.
That guy never goes anywhere without like five sets of backup keys.
I'll give him a call.
While we're waiting for backup, should we do another story?
Yeah.
Great.
And here to introduce it is the author.
Hello, my name is Autumn and I'm a six-year-old and I live in Massachusetts.
This is my story cat news.
This is Cat's News, your trusted news source that's reported by cats for cats and kittens.
Here now is our lead anchor team and actual cats, Joe and Mia.
This is Cat's News.
Hello and welcome to Cats News, your one and only trusted news source reported by cats for cats and kittens.
I'm Mia.
And I'm Joe.
First things first, it may look like I'm wearing a tutu, but I'm not wearing a tutu.
Okay.
Now for a Cat's News Fast Cat News hit.
We go live to Disco.
Disco?
Thanks, Joe.
Thanks, Mia.
This just in.
A cat is swimming in a pool, and she does not like it.
I don't like it!
Back to you in the studio, Joe.
Thanks, Disco.
Stellar reporting.
We now go live to the field with Cats news correspondent Butterscotch reporting on a developing story.
Butterscotch?
Thanks, Mia.
I'm here at a local residence where we've had multiple reports from Cats claiming they saw a little green dot appear on the floor, wriggle around and then vanish.
Here is one of the witnesses.
My name is Wolfgang.
I was lazing in a sun patch just minding my own business when all of a sudden, a bright green dot appeared out of nowhere, right on the floor in front of me.
What happened next?
I did what I believe any cat would do.
I chased it.
It finally came to a stop, so I pounced right on top of it.
I knew I caught it, but when I opened my paws, it was gone.
And Wolfgang here isn't the only one with a story like this.
I'm a great pouncer.
Where did it go, Butterscotch?
Where did it go?
We'll keep looking, Wolfgang.
Until then, I'm Butterscotch with Cat's News.
Thanks, Butterscotch.
Now for our next... Hey, Joe.
Sorry to interrupt, but are you wearing a tutu?
Thanks for asking.
I am not.
And now over to Tripp with sports.
Thanks, Joe.
In sports news.
The Pouncers and the Itty Bitty Kitties tied for the championship after both teams got bored and laid down on the field.
And parkour star Luna is being questioned about her catnip use in the last Cat Olympics.
That's all for Tripp with sports.
Back to you, Joe.
Thanks, Strip.
Go Pouncers.
Moving on to tonight's lead story, we'll switch from playing on the field to being in an open field.
What happens when an alley cat decides she's outgrown the alley?
We traveled beyond the city limits to find out.
One day, Priscilla Princess woke up and decided it was time for a change.
I was having a cat nap in the sunny spot on top of my favorite trash can when a car alarm woke me up and something inside just said how many of those nine lives will you spend in this alley?
Time to get out of town!
Priscilla, always a clever cat, found her way to the country where she founded Kitten Acres.
Six months ago, if you would have told me I would be living on a farm, I would have said but I love it here.
Where she used to nap on trash cans, she now naps on hay bales.
And where she used to chase rats, she now chases rats.
Turns out there are a lot of rats on farms.
But hey, don't be a scaredy cat.
Come out and visit us at Kitten Acres off Highway 12.
Thanks for that great reporting, Mia.
We now take you to Meowteurologist Muffins.
Thanks, Joe.
Great tutu.
It isn't a Speaking of tutus.
It's not going to get too too hot out there across the Catland this week.
We're looking at some gorgeous sunny days for indoor and outdoor cats alike.
Now, let's take a look at my handy-dandy weather map system.
Are you sure about that, Muffins?
Last time you saw the graphics on the screen, you tried to chase them.
No, no, not this time.
Now, as you can see, the cold front will be moving from up here to down here by this little smiling cloud who seems to be taunting me and tempting me, and I'm gonna get him.
And he's chasing the graphics on the animated weather map again.
I'm going to get you, you little clown.
Get back here.
Sorry to interrupt, but I'm getting word that we have an update from our story from earlier.
We take you back to Butterscotch in the Field.
I'm here on the city streets reporting that the Little Green Dot is back.
We had just left the last interview with Wolfgang here.
Hello.
When the Little Green Dot appeared again, we had no choice but to start chasing it.
Wait!
It stopped.
Quiet now.
I got it!
It's right under my paw here.
Behold!
There's nothing there.
I saw it with my own eyes, as clearly as I see Joe's tutu.
It's not a tutu.
Butterscotch, Wolfgang, on the wall behind you.
It looks like it's headed straight for the Cat's News station.
Keep your eyes peeled, Mia and Joe, live with Cat's News.
This is Butterscotch.
Wow!
Thank you, Butterscotch.
Stay safe out there.
And now we go to... Joe, was that you?
Uh, no.
Well, it wasn't me.
Wait a minute, Joe.
Who's that by your feet?
Nothing.
We now go to... I see that you brought your pet cat to work.
No, I didn't.
I'm leaving.
Well, that was strange.
Joe is clearly going through something today.
I hope he comes back.
Hi, Joe's pet cat.
Mia, I'm back.
Joe, are you all right?
Yes.
It's been an emotional day.
I don't know if you noticed, but I'm wearing a tutu.
Yeah, we all noticed.
I think it's time to tell you the story behind the tutu.
You see... Oh?
I think your pet cat likes me better, Joe.
What?
Breaking news!
My kitten likes Mia better?
Breaking news here live at the Cat's New Studios!
There it goes, I see it!
I see it!
I see it!
Followed by a herd of cats!
What is that great dog?
What is it?
Where did it come from?
Where did it come from?
Wow, Hannah, you have so many cats.
It's almost like they have their own little world down there.
Look at all the cats trying to catch the green dot from my laser pointer.
Come on, Disco.
Come on, Muppets.
Try to get it.
Hey, where's Joe?
I want to finish putting this ballerina costume on him.
Well, Mia, that does it for us on Cat News.
There you are, Joe.
Gotcha.
Oh, no.
They're picking me up again.
You look so pretty in your ballerina tutu.
I know I do.
That's all from us here at Cats News Studios.
Good night and good lick.
The end.
Meow.
And now Lee speaks with the author.
Autumn, I love your story, Cat's News.
Thank you.
How did you come up with the idea for your story?
We have a cat and she does lots of silly things.
What's your cat's name?
Her nickname is basically just Fanny.
She's like so funny and she's so cute.
I just love her.
Oh, if you were a reporter for Cat's News Station reporting about your cat, what would you talk about?
Like, what are the silly things that your cat does?
I would report that once my cat was hiding in a box and my mom walked by and one of the boxes meowed and my mom said hi Fannie, because she was in one of the boxes.
Do you ever try to speak to her in cat language?
Oh, sometimes I just meow and see if she comes to me, but she never does.
But sometimes I do it near her and she just walks a little closer and then I get to pick her up and pet her.
Is she in the room right now?
Definitely not.
Try to meow.
And with your meow, try to speak cat language and say there's food in here.
That was good.
Is she coming?
Definitely not.
Oh, well.
In your story, the reporters for Cats News, are they actually also cats?
Yes, they are.
And yet they have pet cats, too, because Joe has a pet cat.
Well, Joe does, and yes.
Is that something that happens in the real world?
Do cats ever have pet cats?
I don't know, but I wish my cat did.
Joe's pet cat likes Mia better.
Can you tell me why?
Because Joe mostly just cares more about his work and Mia cares more about the nature around her.
So the cat likes her better because she likes the cat better.
And can you tell me more about why Joe was wearing the tutu?
Well, Mia He's a ballerina and that's his secret.
And he wasn't supposed to be wearing it to his office.
Autumn, you're amazing.
Thank you for chatting with me today.
And thanks for letting us perform your story.
You're welcome.
I also want to give a shout out to DJ Squirmalot.
I really like your song, DJ Squirmalot.
Oh my gosh, that's nice.
I'll tell him you said that.
Thanks.
Bye.
Bye.
We'll be right back after a few words for the ground up.
Hey there, I'm Lee from Story Pirates.
And I am Peter from Story Pirates.
And welcome to Story Love.
The Story Pirates get tens of thousands of stories written by kids every year from all around the world.
And Story Pirates reads in response to every single one.
Some of them we get to put on our podcast.
Yep.
And some of them we read and talk about on this segment, Story Love.
Story Love!
So, uh... get busy.
Yes, Lee.
All right.
Peter, would you like to read the first story today?
I would love to.
Here I go.
Lee, this first story comes to us from a 10-year-old from the UK named Madeline.
And Madeline's story is called This Mirror is Definitely Not a Mirror.
Oh, no.
I am Timmy Johnny Elfie Robert, the 39,565th.
And I am also a scuba diving evil wizard professor.
I can see a mirror. in a back room in my lair.
I touch it, and when I look into the mirror, my finger does not touch its reflection.
That's weird.
The mirror turns into ice cream and melts before I can lick it.
It reveals a bright pink door.
There is a sign on the door saying, come in here, all you scuba diving professors.
Don't go in there.
I go in.
And I start falling down, down.
Ah!
The end.
What happened to the main character?
Cliff, I was going to say cliffhanger, but that's a cliff faller.
I go down and I start, I go in and I start falling down, down, down, dot, dot, dot.
He, he, he.
He is at first very scared that he's falling and then fully embraces the unknown of the situation.
Here's what I think.
I think that this wizard, this scuba diving evil wizard professor, has been captured by a rival wizard.
You know, rival wizards are always trying to capture each other.
Yes, and I think that he's fallen for like a very intricate trap, and so he's falling, he's been defeated.
He's screaming, but he also can't help but admire the ingenuity of his rival.
I love this interpretation.
Although it does say I see a mirror in a back room in my lair.
Well, yeah.
That's the best place to lay a trap.
Oh, so you're saying the mirror itself that he's fallen into is the trap.
Yes.
Ah, okay.
That makes more sense.
The rival wizard snuck into his house, put up this mirror trap.
You know what this reminded me of?
When I was growing up, my little brother had a very serious theory about mirrors.
And one day we were sitting there and he said, hey, Peter.
I go, yeah.
And he goes, do you know why we can't get into mirror world?
And I said, why?
He goes, because of mirror boy.
I said, what do you mean?
The boy in the mirror that looks just like me.
Every time I try to move and touch, he does the same thing.
And I touch his hand and he's touching my hand with just the equal amount of force that I am touching.
So anytime you try to get through, he blocks you because he's doing the same and you try to be quicker.
But you can't be quicker than Mirror Boy.
Wow.
And that really stuck with me.
Wow.
Wow.
I love there's.
We've had a lot of stories recently and over the years where kids love to give characters very long names and make them like the 19th or the 40th.
But I love the kid that goes all out.
And Madeline says, Timmy Johnny Alfie Robert the 39,565th.
Well, and to their credit, to Madeline's credit, she wrote out the words, instead of making us figure that out with the numbers, which you famously, are very bad at doing.
Well, I rush it.
You really should slow down.
This made it easier for me.
Yeah.
I love the imagery of the mirror melting in this.
Yeah.
It's like he touches the mirror, but it doesn't touch his reflection.
Does it go through it?
I think because it's suddenly ice cream.
Right.
And then it turns into ice cream.
Like...
Ice cream.
And then melts and reveals a pink door.
First he goes like, oh, ice cream.
I'm going to lick it.
Oh, it's gone.
Before he can lick it, it's melted and there's a pink door with a sign welcoming scuba diving professors.
Come in here, all you scuba diving professors.
Not a good read on what's safe and what's not.
I love going back.
To go through that door.
Yeah, I love, after the story, knowing what happens in the story.
Going back to the title, which is this mirror is definitely not a mirror.
Spoiler alert.
Madeline, fantastic story.
Thank you so much for sending it in to us.
Lee, do you want to read the next story?
I'd love to.
Jackson and His Dancing Pants by Cameron, age six in North Carolina.
Jackson has dancing pants.
He likes his dancing pants very much.
One time, his dancing pants were on fire because a dragon blew him with fire.
But a random lady dumped a bucket of water on his head.
The building turned into a crocodile and he had to fight him.
He got out a sword and killed the crocodile and he was on the newspaper.
He has a pet mouse named Joey.
The end.
Jackson lives in a world with lots of dangers.
Yeah.
He's jumping from one.
He's just got his dancing pants on because he's like finally, I'm going to have a relaxing day where I can just do my dancing.
Yeah.
And then out of nowhere, he's on fire because of a dragon.
And then luckily that lady helped him out.
And then he's got to fight a crocodile.
And then now he's in the newspaper.
He just wants to be left alone to dance.
I don't think this is our world.
So I'm curious about this world and you know Cameron, if you're gonna maybe continue working on this story, which you know, revision is always a good idea
I would say tell us about this world, where this person lives, where this creature lives.
What exactly is this creature?
How does he fit into this world?
Is this a normal creature?
Is it an atypical creature?
What can you tell us?
I was also wondering just now do you think because this is such a fun, fantastical world are these the pants he wears to dance, or do these pants dance themselves?
Oh.
That's how I want to go to a dance party.
Yeah.
I'll just let my clothes dance for me so I can just like relax and have a soda.
This is amazing.
Cameron, great work.
We crave more.
Thank you, my friend.
All right, Peter, you want to read us our final story?
Yes.
This final story comes to us from a six-year-old from Oregon named Cohen.
And Cohen's story is called The Spider Who Got Lost.
Once upon a time, there was a spider.
The spider caught a fly and had his friends over for dinner and they had a really nice time.
Then the spider who hosted the party went away and caught some more flies, but didn't remember the way back to his house.
So he found one of his friends who lived in the same area and he asked the other spider if he knew the way home.
But he didn't.
So they just tried and tried and tried and tried to figure out the way home.
They didn't find the way home until late in the night when they saw the light outside shining.
And then they had another even bigger party and they lived happily ever after.
Just kidding.
That's not the end.
Oh, my gosh.
And then the spider who hosted the party went back to sleep.
And then, when he was sleeping, he woke up because he saw something shining in the light outside that looked like gold.
And it was.
And then he went outside and picked it up.
So he brought it inside and put it on his bedside table.
And then he read a book, lived happily ever after i was kidding again.
Oh so he fell asleep reading a book to his pet gold, the end.
I am Not kidding now.
Wow.
I love the Mr. X with the kidding, not kidding.
Great work, Cohen.
I love that this spider.
I want to know what happened to the spider's dinner guests during that whole journey.
Well, I'm sure they all got home, right?
Well, he left them at his house to go find more flies for them.
Oh, well, they were probably there for a while and was like, I don't think he's coming back.
Let's just go home.
What if they're still there?
And he came home and he's reading stories to his gold and they're still in his kitchen being like is that guy coming back?
This spider did an Irish goodbye to his own party to get more food.
He's like, I gotta go get ice at the bodega.
Yeah.
And by that, I mean gold.
More flies and gold.
The end.
Just kidding!
Cohen, fantastic story, my friend.
To read all of these stories and see the pictures and enjoy them, you can head to storypirates.com.
And guess what, grown-ups?
You can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube.
And while you're there, subscribe to our channel and make sure to watch new videos every week.
And grownups, Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show.
It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program.
To find out more about Story Love, our digital creative writing program, Story Quest or our nonprofit arm Story Pirates Changemakers.
Check out the show notes for links.
That's it for today's episode.
Thanks to today's authors, Emmett and Autumn.
And guess what?
You can still send us your stories and we respond to every single one.
We'll be back next week with another brand new episode.
Until then, stay creative and stay kind.
Bye!
The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka.
Co-executive producers are Holly and Rizwan Qasim, Manya Lissy, Murray Sampson, Jack Schafer and Jacob Vaughn.
This episode was produced by Isabella Riccio, Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Lee Overtree and Brittany Stahl.
Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City.
Additional production by Brett Toobin.
Theme song by Bobby Lord.
Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell.
Our head writer is Peter McNerney.
Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson.
Contributing writing by Lee Overtree.
Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
This episode features performances by Eric Austin, Max Bank, Greg Barnett, Michelle Chan, Bennett Langston Darby, Jake Fallon, Justin Kuhn, Caroline Lux, Anna Marr, Peter McNerney, Kyle Moore, Kento Morita, Megan O'Neill, Julia Schroeder, Brittany Stahl and Niminy Ware.
Hi, yes, this is Lee from the Story Pirates.
I'm calling for Principal Buttface.
Principal Buttface.
Yeah.
B-U-T-T-F-A-C-E.
Buttface.
Yes, Principal Buttface.
Uh-huh.
Is Principal Buttface there?
Okay.
I'm pretty sure you do have a Principal Buttface.
No Principal Buttface.
Mr. Buttface?
No?
All right.
Thanks anyway.
Bye.
