Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 883, Taking Care of a Willful Child.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 883.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
That's right, Los Angeles, California.
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This episode is a dialogue between Mrs. Mason and Carl about taking care of a difficult child.
Let's get started.
So how did things go?
Well... What's the matter?
Didn't you and Jason have a good time while I was away?
It was interesting.
He was a little willful.
Yes, he can be a little strong-willed at times, but if you just do what he wants or give him what he wants, he's just fine.
He wanted to eat all of the cookies, and I told him no.
He threw a tantrum.
A tantrum?
My son can be stubborn, but he never throws tantrums.
What did he do exactly?
Well, he threw his toys against the wall, jumped on the couch while shrieking at the top of his lungs, and he tried to bite my hand.
Oh, he was just expressing his displeasure, that's all.
You don't want children to bottle up their feelings.
You should just have given him the cookies to pacify him.
Really?
I didn't want to spoil him.
And eating all of those cookies wouldn't be good for him.
He seemed to have too much energy already, and he didn't need another sugar rush.
Next time, you should just do what he wants.
He'll grow out of this willful stage soon.
Next time?
Yes.
Didn't you say you could babysit Jason again on Saturday night?
Oh, I made a mistake.
I have another commitment on Saturday night.
That's too bad.
We'll call you the next time we need a babysitter.
Sure.
I can't wait.
Our dialogue begins with Mrs. Mason asking Carl, how did things go?
How did things go means what happened?
You're usually referring to some specific event or situation that is now in the past.
And you want to find out whether things went well, whether the situation turned out to be a good one or not.
Carl says, well, Mrs. Mason says, what's the matter?
What's wrong?
Didn't you and Jason have a good time while I was away?
We learned that Carl is the babysitter.
A babysitter is someone who looks after your child, who takes care of your child while you go somewhere else.
Normally, babysitters are women or high school girls.
That's the sort of traditional babysitter, but there are some boys and men, I guess, who babysit.
I babysat once.
I babysat my two nieces, Corey and Molly, and that was many, many years ago.
They were very young.
One of them was maybe, I don't know, three or four, and the other one was only well, was still a baby.
And it's pretty much the worst experience of my life.
I think I can say that.
Anyway, Carl is a babysitter.
He's taking care of Mrs. Mason's son, Jason.
Carl says it was interesting, his experience with Jason.
Jason, he says, was a little willful.
To be willful, W-I-L-L-F-U-L, means to be stubborn, not to do what you are supposed to do.
Carl says that Jason was a little willful.
Mrs. Mason says, yes, he can be a little strong-willed at times.
To be strong-willed means the same as to be willful.
It means to be stubborn.
But it could also mean to have a lot of determination, a lot of persistence.
So it can be a positive thing, strong-willed.
Willful is almost always a negative thing.
Mrs. Mason says if you just do what he wants or give him what he wants, he's just fine.
Mrs Mason is saying that if you give her son everything he wants, he'll be fine, which of course is true for all children.
If you always give them what they want, they'll never cry.
But then you'll have some really terrible children.
So you have to decide, right?
Carl says he wanted to eat all of the cookies, and I told him no.
Jason wanted to eat all of the cookies, the sweets.
Carl said he couldn't do that, and so Jason threw a tantrum.
To throw a tantrum, T-A-N-T-R-U-M, means to behave very badly, very angrily.
It's something that you would expect a small child to do.
Mrs Mason says a tantrum.
My son can be stubborn, that is willful, not willing to change his mind, not willing to compromise, but he never throws tantrums.
So Mrs. Mason asked Carl, what did he do exactly?
Carl says, well, he threw his toys against the wall.
He picked up his toys and threw them against the wall.
He jumped on the couch, the sofa, while shrieking at the top of his lungs.
To shriek, S-H-R-I-E-K, means to yell very loudly, very loudly.
At the top of your lungs means very loudly.
So to shriek at the top of your lungs is a little redundant.
It's saying someone yelled very, very loudly.
Some children are, of course, capable of yelling very, very loudly.
Not me.
I was never a child that would yell loudly.
As the youngest child, I was always calm, always peaceful.
Well, unless you ask my mother, she'll probably tell you a different story.
Anyway, back to our story.
Carl says that Jason, in addition to shrieking, tried to bite his hand.
To bite B-I-T-E is to use your teeth to try to eat something, usually to take a piece of food off of a larger piece of food.
Mrs. Mason says, oh, Jason was just expressing his displeasure, that's all.
To express your displeasure means to indicate how you are not happy with the situation.
To indicate how unhappy you are.
Normally, this expression to express one's displeasure is used when talking about adults who are showing their disagreement or their dislike of a situation.
It's not something we would use to describe a child.
What mrs mason is doing, of course, is defending jason, saying that he isn't such a bad child.
Mrs Mason says, you don't want children to bottle up their feelings.
To bottle B-O-T-T-L-E up your feelings means to hide your emotions, not to express what you're really feeling.
For example, if you're feeling sad, but you don't tell anyone that and you instead act happy.
In some ways, you are bottling up your feelings.
Or if you are angry with someone and you don't express that, you don't show that you hide those emotions.
You could be described as bottling up your feelings.
Now, bottling up your feelings is usually considered a bad thing.
However, as we know, to be an adult, you have to hide your emotions often, and you probably should in many cases.
Some parents believe however, that their children should be able to express whatever emotion they're feeling, and that's just okay.
My parents did not believe that.
I can...
Assure you.
Trust me, we would say.
Believe me.
Mrs. Mason, however, believes it's not a good idea for her son to bottle up his feelings.
She says to Carl, you should have just given him the cookies to pacify him.
To pacify P-A-C-I-F-Y means to calm down, to make someone feel more relaxed, especially somebody who's angry or upset.
That's the meaning here anyway.
To pacify is a verb that we would probably use once again, more often than not for a child or children.
Carl says, really?
I didn't want to spoil him.
To spoil S-P-O-I-L someone is to give a child everything he or she wants so that the child never learns any discipline, never learns that he or she has to accept a no sometimes in life.
There are, of course, many parents who spoil their children, who give their children everything they want, and then they grow up and they become my neighbor, and well, it's not a happy situation.
But I moved recently, so I'm actually talking about my old neighbor, not my new neighbors.
My new neighbors are great, except for the dog that is always making noise.
Otherwise, they're wonderful.
Well, and their car sometimes is in my way, but really, they're pretty good.
Carl thinks that Jason seemed to have too much energy and he didn't want to give him another cookie so that he would have a sugar rush.
A sugar rush is a temporary feeling of having a lot of energy that you get when you eat or drink something with a lot of sugar in it.
Mrs. Mason says next time you should just do what he wants.
He will grow out of this willful stage soon.
To grow out of something means to become older, to become more mature, to no longer do the sorts of bad things that you might have done when you were younger.
Mrs Mason thinks Jason will grow out of this willful stage, this willful period in his development as a child.
Carl says next time.
Mrs. Mason says yes.
Didn't you say you could babysit Jason again on Saturday night?
To babysit, we've already defined, is to take care of a young child, especially for his or her parent who isn't there.
Carl says, oh, I've made a mistake.
I have another commitment on Saturday night.
To have another commitment means you have another appointment, another date, another situation where you have to go somewhere.
And in this case, it means Carl won't be able to babysit Jason again.
Mrs. Mason says, that's too bad.
We'll call you next time we need a babysitter.
Carl says, sure, I can't wait.
Of course Carl doesn't really want to babysit Jason ever again, but he's being polite when he says he can't wait.
Normally, that's an expression you say when you're looking forward to something.
But Carl is definitely not looking forward to babysitting Jason again.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
So, how did things go?
Well... What's the matter?
Didn't you and Jason have a good time while I was away?
It was interesting.
He was a little willful.
Yes, he can be a little strong-willed at times.
But if you just do what he wants or give him what he wants, he's just fine.
He wanted to eat all of the cookies, and I told him no.
He threw a tantrum.
A tantrum?
My son can be stubborn, but he never throws tantrums.
What did he do exactly?
Well, he threw his toys against the wall, jumped on the couch while shrieking at the top of his lungs, and he tried to bite my hand.
Oh, he was just expressing his displeasure, that's all.
You don't want children to bottle up their feelings.
You should just have given him the cookies to pacify him.
Really?
I didn't want to spoil him and eating all of those cookies wouldn't be good for him.
He seemed to have too much energy already and he didn't need another sugar rush.
Next time, you should just do what he wants.
He'll grow out of this willful stage soon.
Next time?
Yes, didn't you say you could babysit Jason again on Saturday night?
Oh, I'd made a mistake.
I have another commitment on Saturday night.
That's too bad.
We'll call you the next time we need a babysitter.
Sure.
I can't wait.
It's never necessary to express my displeasure at our scripts because they're always so wonderful.
Thanks to Dr. Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2013 by the Center for Educational Development.
