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I'm Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast.
I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time.
Taking time to be more fully present.
Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now.
Magic Johnson announced his HIV diagnosis on November 7, 1991, just two months after Cookie and Magic were married.
That year, AIDS had become the number one cause of death for men between the ages of 25 and 44.
157 ,000 people had died from what doctors considered an AIDS epidemic.
At the time, Magic Johnson was one of the most famous athletes in the world, having won five NBA championships with the L .A.
Lakers. Magic's press conference remains one of the most unforgettable moments in sports history.
In an instant, Cookie's life was turned upside down in front of the entire world.
In private, she was brought to her knees.
For the first time, Cookie is telling her story in her new book, Believing in Magic.
I just want to remind the world that in 1991, people were still very, very afraid of AIDS.
It was still like you can't touch a person, hug a person.
Right, right. You know, that time was, it was a really scary time because the people had just started hearing about, you know, AIDS.
And they, and it's funny because they heard, they heard AIDS, but they never heard about HIV.
Yes. You know, HIV is the virus that causes AIDS.
Yeah, so we all thought it was the same thing.
Yeah, you just go straight to it's AIDS and it's death.
So it was a scary time.
It was a scary time for us.
It was a scary time for, you know, a lot of people.
And then your husband, Irvin Magic Johnson, sort of became, not sort of, became the face for what was possible.
I mean, I have to say that when that announcement, we all remember where we were.
I don't think anybody believed that we'd be sitting here 25 years with magic with us.
No, they used to say he's in denial.
That's the first thing.
Right after that conference, all the press, after that, oh, he's in denial.
He has no idea. Really?
But the truth is you all didn't know either, right?
And now you have, 25 years, decided to tell your story, My Story of Love, Overcoming Adversity, and Keeping the Faith, Believing in Magic.
Great title, by the way.
Thank you. Great, great, great, great title.
Yeah. Why do you think it was important 25 years into the marriage for you to tell your story?
Well, first of all, it's just a good time for me and my life.
You know, the kids are grown, and, you know, I started my business, so, you know, I have my thing going on.
he has his thing going on but when i when i started my denim line and i i used to go around i did personal appearances in stores and stuff cookie john said i'm wearing the jeans that's why i'm in jeans and she's all pretty quiet i have to wear my jeans my cookie jeans so go ahead i'm sorry okay so when i
did my personal appearances uh women would come up to me and say i came and i wanted to come say hello to you because you have no idea would pull me aside not they didn't come just to see the genes.
They came to tell me that you know your story has inspired me, your story helped save my marriage, or your story you know I have a family member with HIV and your story helped us.
And that kept happening time and time again.
And you could see that even though people had similar stories, not necessarily HIV stories or AIDS stories, that the faith part, the standing by believing overcoming adversity part.
Yes. That you speak of.
Yes. In believing in magic was what people were connecting to.
Yes, it was. Yes, it was.
And because I never could have made it through without that faith.
Yeah. You know, and, you know, I could, I could start telling you about the journey about that.
But because, you know, God was all in it.
And well, God is never not in it.
No, but my and my life, too, from the very beginning, I just felt like he's always drawn me to him.
And so I felt that, you know, I had to find out what my purpose was.
What did he want me to do?
Well, it's interesting because I just finished reading the book last night and I was like, whoa, you are a determined woman.
You must have had a call deeper than most people.
You literally got stood up, not at the altar, but you and Magic were engaged twice.
Twice. Not once, twice!
A lot of people didn't know that.
I always say when people show you who they are, believe them the first time, then the second time, then a third time.
He tried to break up a third time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. At what point in the relationship did you have to go to your inner spiritual connection to something bigger than yourself, to God?
At what point, literally, in the relationship did you have to go to your knees?
In the beginning, it was when we broke our first engagement.
I was devastated. I was devastated because, you know, it was an announcement the whole world knew.
And I was just in the beginning stages of starting to plan the wedding, so looking for a church or whatever.
So you were humiliated.
You were publicly humiliated.
Totally humiliated.
Publicly humiliated.
Yeah, and then, you know, like, how do I show my face at work?
Yeah. You know, and after you've told everybody, it's like your whole world is crushed.
At 26, you know, a young 26 -year -old, you thought your whole entire world was crushed and at that point that's when I had to reach back and find God you know God was always in my life I was always going to church I used to go to Bible study sometime in high school but then you kind of went away from it when you
go into college you know uh hanging out and whatever but at this point I was close to a nervous breakdown I felt really how do I recover from this how do I tell my friends how you know how do I show my because Identity was tied to that.
Totally tied to him, totally tied to him.
And so that's when I said, you know, I just started praying to the Lord, you're going to have to help me with this.
And one day I was talking to my girlfriend who was married to a player also, and she told me her story.
She said that when she went through that, that she just decided that she needed to connect with God.
And she said, and what you have to do is you have to figure out, you know, you have to go to God and then find out what is your purpose in life and what makes you happy.
Yeah. Let's focus on you.
And the point of me spending all this time talking about what happened before you got married is that you went through a lot a lot of years a lot of breakups a lot of then you get married and two months after you're married.
Yes. He comes home He calls you and says, I need to talk to you.
Yes. In that voice of, you know something's wrong, but you don't know what it really is.
From the time he called you to the time he actually got home, what did you think it was?
Because your mind goes through.
It was crazy. You know, I thought, is he going to, like, is it the marriage?
Is he going to break up with me again?
What is it, you know?
And then I thought...
Is it something with the coaches?
Is it something with the...
Yeah, is he going to change the team?
He didn't like his coach?
I didn't know. And then I thought, well, is he sick?
Maybe he's sick, you know, because he did say that he had to go see the doctor.
And I was like, what is that?
I didn't know. I just, you know, fear just started, you know, taking over me.
And I just didn't know what to do.
And then I got the phone call.
And it just, you know, I don't know.
It just fear took over me.
And I just had to...
Because you could tell in his tone that it was something.
It was something bad.
So he comes home. Are you home alone when he comes home?
Well, yeah, I'm home alone, and he finally walks through the door.
At this point, I'm kind of shaking because I'm like, what is it?
What could it be, you know?
And he came in slowly, and he just, you know, said, I don't know how else to tell you.
I'm just going to tell you, and I'm like, what?
And it's so funny because I literally joked and said, what, you going to tell me you got AIDS or something?
you know i i literally joked and said that and he was like yeah i have hiv the virus that causes eight and i was just like oh my god it was like time stopped i like froze you know i'm standing there looking at him and i couldn't move and a moment later like tears are flowing down and and And I was like,
are you sure? Did they make a mistake?
And he said, well, I have to go to the doctor tomorrow to double check.
Well, he said he took a test, so he was waiting.
We've got to wait until the test comes back, but I've got to take you tomorrow and get you tested.
Then that was another fear.
I'm like, oh, my God, myself.
And then I thought, oh, my God, I'm pregnant.
What about the baby?
you know and it was just like it took every strength in me to keep standing and then I just you know I don't know I just grabbed him and I hugged him and you know we hugged each other and we just cried together you know and it was silence and then he he pulled himself back and he said you know you can leave
me if you want I totally understand I would not want to put you through this and that's when I was like I just kind of like Slept him and said, are you kidding?
No, I love you. We're going to figure this thing out.
We're going to figure this thing out together.
And then the next thing we did was we got on our knees and we prayed.
And we asked God for a miracle and asked God to give us strength to make it through this.
Were you asking for a miracle, for a cure?
Were you asking for life?
Were you asking for just all of it?
Help! All of the above.
All of the above. But the first thing, of course, you're thinking of a miracle for a cure, that he would miraculously be healed.
Yes. Yes. There are so many reasons to get or stay strong.
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Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?
Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?
Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted?
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Discover is accepted at 99 % of places that take credit cards nationwide.
And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back.
Welcome to the now.
It pays to Discover.
Learn more at discover .com credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson report.
And so then you go and get tested and it was 12 days.
I read. Yes, that was 12 days.
Are you still believing in magic in those 12 days?
No, I have to tell you, it was a little bit, a little bit of a little bit of both.
But, you know, I never because you're in the midst of it.
And we're talking life and death.
I never thought once that I didn't want to be with him, and I didn't want to love him, and I didn't want to stay married.
Never once did I think that.
Did you ask the why me question, though?
Did you not get angry?
Not really. I was too scared to get angry.
Okay. For some reason, I had more, I got scared and had fear before I had anger.
Okay. Yeah, you jumped the stage.
did you not want to know who when how later on of course you know once things settle down a little bit then i start wondering you know and you describe a moment where he goes into the room he closes the door and he's calling all the right and that that calling all the women he's been with and one of the things
i thought that that could have took a couple days yeah it did that could took a couple days yeah it did no i was gonna say yeah i did i would say that would not be like a little wake -up call for me i was kind of like a couple days to call all the women you've been with yeah yeah and that part i didn't
like much that part hurt you know a little bit but was that a wake -up call for you because you had been thinking what no i you know it's really interesting over because it's like with our relationship being, you know, long distance most of the time, you know, it was like when we were together, everything
was peachy cream, everything was great.
You know, so when we weren't together, it's not that I said, hey, go do whatever you want to do.
No, we had a real relationship.
It wasn't like that.
But so were you under some kind of illusion that you were the only one?
Well, here's what what I had to do, which i think most women at some point you're gonna just have to do it you have to assume a certain amount of trust so i decided to trust him i decided to trust him and yes i trusted that he was not out there doing all that uh and then you know and then he had to
trust me also so yes i did trust him and think that he i didn't think he was out there doing all that no you know and then if he was, you know, when things came up, we broke up, you know, whatever, when things happened.
But, um, you can't have a relationship without having trust.
So you have to say to yourself, I just, I'm just going to have, I trust him.
So when he goes into the room and he's making all the phone calls you were saying in the book, um, believing in magic, that that was, that was difficult for you.
And in some ways painful, I don't remember the exact words, but painful and when i read that i think oh painful because now you have the realization you come face to face with the realization yeah that there were were a lot of other women other than yourself right but we also have to remember too that with hiv
and aids you could have been with somebody for 10 uh 10 years ago yeah and it could have been that person yeah so So you have to call people from 10 years almost.
You know what I'm saying?
So at what point, you know, are these old relationships?
Are they new relationships?
I don't know. I didn't ask all those questions.
I just know he had to make some phone calls.
Make some phone calls.
And, you know, again, there was a lot of breakups in the middle of that road to that.
That you all had had.
Yeah, there were two four -year breakups by the time we got to this, the point that we were talking about right now, which is marriage.
I got that. So one of the reasons why you slapped him is because you were committed to the vows that you had said just two months earlier.
Those vows meant to death do us part, through sickness and in health, meant something to you.
They did, and the love that we shared.
Because we, you know, he genuinely did love me and I genuinely loved him from you know from way back which is why we kept coming back to each other but it's just that that that deep love that we had in the beginning because I met him as Irvin not as Magic and he was that fun loving very generous guy
with the big laugh and big smile and the big eyes you know that is who he is who I fell in love with so did faith think that it would all be all right?
Is that what got you through that time?
Because obviously he started a regimen of antiretrovirals.
The rest of the world doesn't even know what that is.
I think because of Magic Johnson, we got introduced to that in a way that we wouldn't have understood.
Right. And he's like our family member getting treatment.
But what actually got you through it?
God, God, God got me through it.
And, and deepening my faith and reading the word and understanding, you know, like when you want God to give you a miracle, you have to understand how to get that miracle.
You can't just say, Lord, give me a miracle.
And it's just going to happen.
Like you can, but you know, you also got to work for it in a sense.
So you have to understand his word and what does he say about faith?
So you find out that that's one of your scriptures that you can hold onto when you're believing for a miracle with health or something like that and when you want to be healed and so you learn I learned all those scriptures and those promises that god you know actually going to Bible study correct yeah
I started then yeah I didn't used to go yeah I was I always went to church but it was religion I went to church you know on a Sunday and I felt like a good girl you know but this meant you gotta dig in deep i need you know i need what does my religion and my faith really mean how does that show up for that's
right but how do you use it yeah like and how do you develop i had to learn i had to understand too and that's what my friend was telling me you have to learn to develop a relationship with god you know not just with religion going to church but with god himself develop a relationship with the two of you
and how you do that.
You pray and you praise, but I didn't know that until I started going to Bible study and they teach you that, you know, like they taught us the proper way to pray that they taught me, you know, praising him and how if you praise God that he comes down, you know, he inhabits the praises of his people.
So when you praise him, he just comes down and he's right there with you.
And he, you know, right in the midst of you.
And, you know, I didn't know any of that until I started going to Bible study and started studying the Bible and understanding the Word.
Well, as you're saying that, it makes me think of one of my favorite books, Alice Walker, The Color Purple.
And what the character Shug says to Celia at the end of the book, God gets pissed if you don't notice the color purple.
And Celia says whatever she says and then Shug says, because what God loves most is praise.
What God loves is...
That's right. Yeah.
God loves praise. That's right.
That's like the answer, the key to everything, really.
And so I gained strength from him, you know, from from the word and leaning on those words and using those words all the time.
And even though, Oprah, I know I said, you know, that my husband is going to be healed and and I believe it and I still believe that he is healed.
You know, 25 years later, you know, of course, it wasn't this big miracle where it's completely gone.
but you know it god can heal people through doctors through medicine you know the medicine was available to help him live a quote normal life and he became the face of that in a way that i mean so i think god used him yes no question about yes yes for our time that's right yeah yep yep and sometimes
our trials are for a reason yes and it's for us to learn but it's also for us to give back to the world you know so whatever that lesson was yes there are so many reasons to get or stay strong whatever motivates you reach your fitness goals in a special judgment -free environment planet fitness at planet
fitness you'll find best in -class equipment for a full body workout from strength training to cardio to stretching there are free weights cable towers smith machines upper and lower body strength machines treadmills and stair climbers and Don't miss out on the brand new plate loaded machines like hack
squats and supine benches too most planet fitness locations are open 24 hours so you can work out whenever it fits your schedule Plus all members have access to free fitness training and memberships start at just $15 per month join today at any convenience location near you online and planet fitness
.com or on the free planet fitness app Hours, amenities, and offers vary by club.
Must be 18 years old to enroll or 13 through 17 with a parent or guardian.
Are you still quoting 30 -year -old movies?
Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?
Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted?
If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.
Discover is accepted at 99 % of places that take credit cards nationwide.
And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back.
Welcome to the now.
It pays to Discover.
Learn more at discover .com slash credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson Report.
Irvin Johnson III, known as EJ, was born just seven months after Magic Johnson announced his HIV diagnosis.
EJ, like his mother, was not infected with the virus.
In 2013, a video of EJ holding hands with a male friend went viral.
The day after the video was released, Magic showed his support for his son.
EJ would go on to star in two reality shows, Rich Kids at Beverly Hills and EJNYC, where he became known for his gender -bending style.
Let's talk about EJ.
You begin the chapter talking about the twirling skirt with the colors that your mother was wearing and how fascinated he was by the twirling skirt that your mother was wearing, right?
Yeah, this is about three years old.
it was after his glasses the minute he got his glasses over he just started walking around the room like oh my god really?
look at the colors look at the things you know and he would start touching things so like he would if I had this on he would come over and look at the prints and feel the fabric and you know he loved things like that and um and my mother wore like full skirts then because that was in in style and he
just loved and he wanted to wear a skirt like her and twirl around in it all the time and he would say granny put on that skirt and let's let's twirl let's dance you know and she would twirl around with him you know you tell a very funny story of being in t -ball and waiting for him to get the ball yeah
and he's like overpicking some yellow flowers going mommy look look at the flowers I picked them for you and I'm like oh my boy get the ball did you get the ball son that's what I knew okay then my husband say okay stop no more sports for him yes was magic upset that he wasn't the sportsman no he wasn't
upset about that because he knows from time to time that you know a lot of um at the time that you know a lot of um athletes yeah want their kids yeah they have to live in that limelight they have to live in that and and it's too hard so when he saw that that he didn't have a problem with that at all
you know he said let him do what he wants to do but i don't think he realized at that time that what he wanted to do was be, wear girly stuff and be girly.
Then there was a moment in Hawaii, I think you were on vacation.
Yeah, by that time, he was an adolescent.
He was probably 12 or so.
And I saw him with one of his friends, and they were sitting in the chairs.
And, you know, that's around the time when they started looking at boys and girls and whatever.
Yeah, I think he was 12 or 13.
And these boys walked by, and I was sitting behind them.
I don't even know if they knew I was back there.
And the boys walked by and he was like, oh, I like that.
And I'm thinking, where's the girl?
That was a boy. And then it dawned on me, okay, so this is it.
He's not going to change.
Not dawned, really confirmed.
Confirmed for me. Because you knew, you knew, you knew.
Moms know. And you know, when a child is like that from the very beginning, because then you start going back to three years old, four years old, five years old, he never changed.
And so I pulled him aside and I told him, I asked him about it.
And he said, I said, I saw you watching that guy.
I said, so do you like boys?
And he said, he just looked at me, got really quiet.
He didn't know how to answer me.
I could tell he's thinking.
And he said, finally, he said, yeah, maybe.
And I was like, I said, it's OK if you do.
I saw you and I'm OK with it.
I'm just letting you know that it's OK with me.
Yeah. You know, and he said.
That is the biggest fear that every gay person I've ever talked to, because we used to do coming out day on the Oprah show the biggest fear everybody has is that I will be rejected and I won't be loved.
Right. Yeah. Right.
So you told magic. You had to tell your husband.
Yeah. After I had that conversation with him I said I'm going to go tell him because he needs to be okay with this too.
Yeah. So I talked to him.
And he was not okay with it.
Not at first. Not at first.
Not at first. So he brought him in the room and he told him you know he said your mother tells me that you know you might be gay and he said so I just want you to know that that's not my first choice for you and I'm not really happy about that but if that's really who you are then okay I'll accept it
you know but I was angry was he he wasn't angry he was firm yeah was there a lot to tears a lot to drama a little bit of tears just a little bit on my part mostly EJ held him back a little bit I could see the sadness on his face but he left your father says I'm disappointed you know I said Irvin I can't
I can't believe you did that I said because you got to remember he is he is who he is and he's going to be who he is you know you can't change him like that then the next day he went back the very next day he went and grabbed him and he told him how sorry he was and he told him how much he loved him
and he said no matter what You know, I'm getting teary.
Makes me teary, too.
He said, no matter what, I am going to always be here for you.
He said, and I, you know, he said it was just a shock to me, and I didn't know how to react to it.
And I'm so sorry, you know.
And then they both cried and hugged.
And then that was it.
And from that day forward, we were both in this corner.
So here's the big question.
You're Christian. You believe in the word.
Yeah. You live by the word.
How did you? This child is innocent.
he was like this when he was a baby.
It can't be wrong. It can't be wrong, you know?
Again, you were brought to your knees.
Yes. So I had to pray about it.
And so this was one of those moments where I had to go directly to God.
And I prayed and God, you know, the answer I got back was love.
And he said, you know, I give you all great gifts and the greatest of that gift is love.
And so that's when I knew I could love my son and support him on who he was.
And I was okay with it because I had that...
I made peace with that.
I made peace with God with it.
So I'm good. Yeah, it's out there.
So recently I think there was some kind of crazy rumor that he was transitioning and he responded to it.
Is he going to transition?
No, no, he's not. He's just a gay man.
He's just young and he's experimental.
You know what I mean?
All kids are young and experimental.
And he loves fashion.
so for him yes it's more about fashion than it is about trends transitioning it's it's right now it's more about fashion and he's never mentioned that to me that that's what he's interested in or wants to do if he came home and said i now want to be a woman would you be okay with that yeah i would have to
deal with it we would we would have to deal with it yeah yeah and we would do what we needed to do to take care of it you know what i mean you'd be back on your knees Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would be there to support him, though.
Yeah. Because I know deep down that's, you know, who he is.
Now, what is actually also, I think, not shocking, but probably surprising to a lot of people who will read this, is that after you'd been through everything, everything, you'd been standing by and going through the adversity, there came a point in your marriage where the marriage was really strained
and you all separated.
And how y 'all did that in the tabloids didn't find out, I don't know.
I mean, how did that happen in the tabloids?
How did you get that story?
Well, because it was really quick.
It was like two weeks.
Okay. Yeah, it was two weeks.
But yeah, you know, as a marriage transitions and the journey goes on, what happens is sometimes, you know, the wife and the kids kind of move this way and, you know, your husband and he's out there working.
Yeah, because you were mothering.
And I wasn't working at the time.
Yeah. So I was most all into mothering.
And he's into business.
Yeah. And so it kind of pulled us apart a little bit.
And on his side, he was building his businesses.
He was getting bigger and bigger and bigger, you know, and his ego was getting bigger and bigger.
And, you know, so it just all became about work for him.
You know, everything was about work and how great we're doing and this and that, you know, and so then he would just, he was always at work.
So he was creating another identity.
Yeah, and another world, you know, and another world like he was always, you know, you know, the people at work are getting together to watch the football game, or we're at work, we're going here, we're doing that, and then he started going out with them more, you know, going out, partying, stuff like
that. Oh, yeah, you write about it really, really.
Yeah, yeah, so the day he got his start, there was a big party.
Oh, yeah, Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Yeah, and then it just kind of came to a hit for me, you know, and we were at the party, and he was dancing with some girls, and i was walking out i was like okay so you know i'll dance let's dance together or whatever he's like and what you establish in the book is that you all are you know like seven
and i do this you go to a party you go your separate ways but in the end when it comes to the dance floor right you know we're gonna get together right i'm not like by you know i'm not like tied to your side not to be by your side every moment right you all have that kind of relationship right but this particular
time it was like you know i don't want to you know i don't want you dancing with me i'm to dance with these people over here I'm just I'm always you know so that kind of got to me because you know it had been boiling boiling boiling boiling anyway and I lost it and said some things and then he said
some things and so we were that was our first kind of spat in public kind of thing um and then I left I got my friend took me home I just left um and then we we had a conversation about it at home afterwards and you know we both felt like we were just kind of growing in two different ways.
Cookie says guidance from their pastor and friends plus a lot of prayer helped bring the couple back together.
In Believing in Magic, Cookie writes, we made an agreement.
No matter what we were going through or how difficult it became, we would always talk about it.
And that is a promise that we've kept.
You know, it's so interesting.
When I first saw this as a title, I thought, wow, I think this is what every person, certainly every man and woman in relationship really want, is for somebody to believe in them.
What did he think when you told him that this was going to be your title?
What did he think or say?
You know, it's interesting, because we play with it a lot, you know, and he's very supportive of me being my own woman and doing my own thing.
And so when we talked about that and I brought it up to him, he was like but it's really true he's like i like it because it's really true um and i was surprised because you know he i thought he was gonna say no this is about you yeah but he said no i like it it's really true and it and it and it it's
it shows who we are basically wow it represents us thank you thank you appreciate it thank you for having me it was fun fun fun fun I'm Oprah Winfrey, and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast.
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