All right, i want to welcome you to today's webinar.
We are going to have a great session today and let's jump right in so you can be smart and thoughtful and fully capable and still sound like your brain just slipped on a banana peel.
The moment somebody says so, what do you think?
This is the experience that we're going to talk about today.
You know what you mean.
You even have something good to say and you're proud of it.
But when it's your turn to speak, your thoughts all rush to the front at once and you start talking before the sentence is fully ready, fully formed.
You maybe add too much context, too many details, and you start losing the point halfway through.
And then, of course, later in the shower or while unloading the dishwasher or taking your dog out for a walk, you suddenly become Winston Churchill.
So if you've ever thought why do I sound less articulate than I actually am, this webinar is for you.
Today, we're going to make speaking on the spot, impromptu speaking feel much cleaner, much calmer and much more doable, without requiring you to become a different personality or some hyper polished robot, And by the end of this webinar, you will know exactly how to stop rambling, freezing or over explaining when you have to respond in real time without much preparation.
And instead, you're going to speak with more clarity, structure, and confidence on the spot.
So if that sounds exciting to you, then let's continue.
All right.
A lot of people think that great communicators are just naturally fast thinkers.
Okay.
We're going to talk about that in a second.
But the first thing that I want to reframe is this this is not usually an intelligence problem, meaning it's not that you have nothing to say, it's not that you're bad at communicating, and it's definitely not that everyone else is magically smarter and more articulate than you, even though maybe that's how it feels sometimes.
Very often, the real issue is that you've never been taught how to organize your thoughts quickly in real time.
This is not something we typically tend to learn, especially if we might not realize that it's a problem or if it's never really posed an issue until now.
A lot of people think that great communicators are just naturally fast thinkers.
They can think on the spot.
They can talk on the spot.
But that is not the part we actually notice most.
What we notice is that those people sound clear.
They sound structured.
They sound like they know where the sentence is going.
They have a plan in their mind.
And you know what, my friends?
This is actually wonderful news.
Why?
Because structure is learnable.
So the goal of this webinar is not to turn you into the fastest thinker in the room.
That's not the goal.
The goal is to instead help you become somebody who can catch a thought, who can shape the thought and deliver the thought clearly before it turns into some sort of verbal confetti.
Okay, now let's talk about why people ramble or sound unclear on the spot.
And just the other day, just yesterday, during our live ask me anything our live ama, inside our membership space, our members only exploring academy.
We had a great chat and one of the things that several people brought up several members brought up was this goal of not rambling anymore.
Several members said, I ramble too much and I want to stop rambling.
So this is something that affects a lot of people.
So let's talk a little bit about why people ramble or sound unclear on the spot, because once you understand the pattern, it becomes much easier to interrupt it.
Usually one of a few things is happening.
First, you start speaking before you know your main point, so your mouth is basically trying to live edit your brain in public.
Very, very brave, not always effective.
Second, you include too much.
You do not trust that one clean idea is enough, So you keep adding, you keep explaining, you keep qualifying and you keep backing up the truck with more words, more sentences, more paragraphs.
Third, you confuse speed with competence, think i need to answer quickly or i'll look awkward or i'll sound unintelligent and this is true of l2 english speakers, so non-native english speakers, as well as l1 native english speakers.
So you rush, and rushing makes clarity worse.
And fourth, you start thinking out loud.
Instead of speaking from structure, you have stream of consciousness where you just pour out.
You do a brain dump, a verbal brain dump, without having structure or a framework in mind.
So let me say this clearly if you ramble, it does not mean you are a rambly person forever.
It usually means your thoughts are arriving unfiltered, and so today we are going to fix the filter.
So here is the framework that I want to give you today.
You know that I love sharing frameworks because they provide a sense of structure and you're able to be flexible with these frameworks.
You can have them in your back pocket and then whip them out when the situation calls for it.
So the framework I want to give you today is called the CLEAR framework.
Pretty apropos, right?
CLEAR stands for C, catch the thought.
L, lead with the point.
E, explain briefly.
A, avoid overload. and are rounded off.
So this is the method I want you to start using.
Any time you're asked a question in real time, whether that is in a meeting, on a phone call, in a social situation, both at work or in regular life, in an interview at a networking event, or even when somebody says something simple like wait, what do you mean by that?
Again, this is a framework that you can use in social settings and in work settings.
And what I love about this framework is that it gives you something to do instead of just tell yourself be more confident which, as advice, is honestly not that helpful.
Confidence grows when you know what to do, when you have some sort of structure that you can roll with.
So, instead of hoping that you magically sound clearer and more collected next time You are going to have a sequence.
You're going to catch the thought that pops into your mind.
You're going to lead with the point.
So you have to figure out what that point is.
You're going to explain it, but only briefly.
So just add the most important details and the most salient points.
You're going to avoid overload, because that drowns out what you're trying to say and people are going to be confused by all the details you're giving them and how much you're overloading them.
And then you're going to round it off.
So this is clean, it's elegant, it's sophisticated and it's super usable.
Use this right away.
In fact, as soon as we get off this call, you'll be able to use this in your next social interaction.
So i want to start with the first two steps, because these are absolute game changers.
Step one is catch the thought.
So, before you answer, give yourself a beat, one breath, one teeny, tiny pause.
It doesn't have to be a ted talk, dramatic pause, just enough space for you to ask yourself Okay, what is my actual point?
What am I trying to get across?
This question matters so much because most people do not sound unclear because they lack ideas.
That's not usually the issue.
They sound unclear because they have just way too many thoughts arriving at once.
It's flooding their brain.
Step two lead with the point.
What's the point?
Lead with that.
So don't start with the background information, don't start with the setting, don't start with the disclaimer, don't start with well, i mean, i guess it sort of depends blah blah blah blah, blah.
Start with the point.
What is the point you're trying to make?
Some simple phrases you can use.
The main thing is.
My take is.
What I'd say is.
The clearest way to put it is.
When you lead with the point, you instantly sound more grounded, more thoughtful and more confident, even though you might be a little bit of.
You might be nervous inside and you might feel those butterflies fluttering in your tummy.
You have a nice framework here.
Once you have led with the point, your job is not to keep proving that you have many more thoughts.
We all have thoughts.
We're not trying to impress people with the number of thoughts we have.
Your job is to support the point clearly and then stop.
And this is where steps three, four, and five come in.
So you're going to explain briefly.
That means just give one or two supporting ideas.
Not seven, not ten, not your whole origin story.
Just enough details and just enough points to make what you say easy to follow.
This is really important.
I want you to consider not overloading your listeners, okay.
So avoid overload.
This is where a lot of smart people accidentally sabotage themselves because they have so much to say.
They have so much to share.
They're super passionate about what they're sharing.
They might be the top expert in the field.
They might be super well-versed in a certain type of subject and so they keep adding more and more and more, because they think more detail equals more credibility.
Like, if i add this detail, if i add this one esoteric point, they're going to take me more seriously, I'm going to be more credible.
But the thing is, in live conversation more conversation right, in live conversation more detail often equals more confusion.
Let me say that again because this is important In live conversation, more detail often equals more confusion.
So please keep that in mind.
And finally, we're going to round it off.
What does that mean?
Land the thought.
End the sentence like somebody who trusts their point can say something like that's the main idea.
That's what i'd focus on.
That's how i'd frame it.
A strong ending is very important and that matters because it tells the listener i know where my thought begins and i know where it ends, and that reads as super confident.
All right, I wanna make this real for us.
So imagine somebody asks you, so what do you think?
Okay, a rambling version of this might sound like Well, I think it kind of depends, because there are a lot of ways to look at it.
And I guess part of me feels like maybe simplicity is better, but it also depends on the context and the audience and exactly what the goal is.
And yada yada, yada yada.
Listen, we've all been there.
And, like I said just yesterday in my live AMA call with my members in Exploring Academy, multiple members said that rambling was one of their communication issues.
So this is something that many of us face right, we've all been there.
That answer is not terrible, it's just unedited.
There's no filter there.
It makes the listener work really hard as to what your actual point is and what you're trying to say.
Now let's look at the simpler and clearer version.
My take is that simple.
My take is that simplicity works better here.
The main reason is clarity.
People are more likely to respond well when the message is easy to follow, right.
Notice what changed.
The second version leads with the point right.
We said start with the point, because it gives a reason to listen.
And then it gives a reason.
It gives a stop, right point reason, stop.
You don't need 10 points, you don't need 50 points.
Just stop, let it breathe, let it sit with people, let it land right.
That's what we mean by rounding off.
So that's what clear speaking sounds like.
It's not more impressive.
It's not more organized.
It's not more impressive, right?
It's more structured and it's more organized.
I misspoke there.
And so this is the type of shift that I want you to make.
When you're thinking about answering questions in real time, without maybe being super prepared, because oftentimes we can't prepare for what everybody asks us or the kind of social interaction we have you might have an idea, but this is why having a framework such as the CLEAR framework is super helpful.
This is the shift that I want you to make in real time.
Okay.
Now let's look at the second example, because this one really trips people up all the time me about yourself.
And you might not just get these in an interview capacity, but it could be at a networking event, it could just be in the elevator riding with your boss or a colleague, it could be at a party, at a social event, but tell me about yourself, or what's your deal, or you know what makes you tick.
There are multiple ways of asking this, but the gist of it is tell me about yourself.
So a messy version often starts somewhere in 2009 and just keeps driving.
Have you ever encountered that even with yourself where you're like, why am I rambling like this?
Why did I just give them my whole life story?
So it could be something like so I originally started in this other area and then over time I kind of moved into something related over here and I've done a few different things.
I've worn many hats and I guess now I'm focusing more on blah blah, blah again.
This is not wrong, it's just foggy, and that's why people think okay, I'm rambling.
Or other people think oh, that person's rambling, because it is rambling.
That's what it is.
So what would the clearer version of this look like?
So tell me about yourself.
I help people become more confident and socially fluent communicators.
My background is in communication and teaching, and now i focus on helping people use those skills more effectively in real life.
That's kind of a little bit what I do.
If somebody were to ask me, tell me about myself.
So that version, right, it's quite brief.
And then if people have follow-up questions, they ask those.
So you don't have to start all the way back to way back when to when your journey started.
Just give them a headline. if you will, right?
It's so much easier to follow a version like that, because it starts with identity and then it gives a relevant context and then it stops.
That stop is super important because a lot of times want to continue without a breath, without checking in on the other speakers or on the other listeners.
Are they following?
Are they lost?
Are they completely uninterested in what i'm having, i'm sharing right now?
Right, that stop is super important because you check in and it's also way easier to follow okay, so this is a super important principle.
When we think about clarity, we think about it coming from deciding what is the most relevant thing to share first.
Now i will highlight this relevance will change depending on who you're talking to, depending on your audience.
What do i mean by that?
Well, not every detail is going to be important or relevant to the people that you're sharing it with.
So, for example, if you're talking to a group of mountain climbers about a completely unrelated, almost irrelevant field, then they probably will lose interest.
If you're instead talking about mountain climbing to mountain climbers and some strategies for climbing well, maybe some workouts you can do to get you in better shape, or the gear that you use or the places you visit and you know the location that's going to be relevant to them.
So you have to think about what's relevant to your audience, what's relevant to the people that you are engaging with because frankly, to you it's all relevant, but to the audience, to the listeners, to the people you're engaging in this social interaction with, it's not all relevant.
So you need to do the work of figuring out what is relevant to them, what details to add, what details to exclude or omit.
You don't need to say everything that is true about you.
You don't need to give them your whole life story.
However, you do need to say what's useful and what's clear and what is connected to the moment.
That stems from what's relevant to them okay, so if you remember nothing else from today, i want you to remember this simple tool Headline support stop.
This is going to be your rescue structure when you feel yourself starting to spiral and when you're going into a ramble.
So the headline is, what's my point?
The support is what is one reason or one example that supports this point?
And then stop.
Where can I end cleanly, instead of just continuing out of nervousness and adding more extraneous information or extra details when it's really not necessary?
That stop is super important, like I said.
And that's it.
Those three things, okay.
So if somebody asks you a question and your brain starts opening 20 million tabs right, come back to this super easy tool headline support and stop, that's it.
And it's super simple.
You can use it immediately and That's why it works because it's simple and because you can use it in situ, meaning in that moment that you are engaging in social interaction.
You know, a lot of people wait until they feel more confident before they speak more clearly.
They have this idea in their mind that okay, I'm going to be this way to be confident, and then I'm going to start speaking more clearly, and then I'm going to start networking and talking to my boss and talking to my colleagues and presenting myself on camera or, you know, writing a LinkedIn post or calling up some potential clients.
But let me tell you, the more you wait, the less confident you're going to become.
So you have to start.
You have to start.
And using frameworks like these are going to help you because they give you an entry point.
And then coming in to the community and joining our live AMAs.
That's it, Tongue twister.
Joining our live AMAs also gives you more and more confidence, because you're talking with people, you're talking using these frameworks, and It becomes way more possible to feel that confidence the more you practice it, because it is a muscle right, so the reality is speaking more clearly is one of the things that creates that confidence.
You have to start.
You have to start from somewhere.
So this is not just a communication tool.
It's a confidence building tool.
Because, like I said, the more you practice, the more confident you will become.
And the other thing is every time you organize a thought better in real time, you teach yourself.
I can handle this, I can roll with it.
Wow, that was a hard question, but I use this framework.
I adapted it a little bit.
I thought about my audience, who am I talking to?
What are the relevant points here?
And then, lo and behold, it became way easier.
All right, I want to close with this and then we'll get to the chat and any questions you might have.
So I really want to press this upon you.
The goal is not to become somebody who never ever, ever feels put on the spot, or who always always, always feels confident.
Thinking in absolutes is just not helpful and it's just not reflective of reality.
The goal is to become somebody who knows what to do when they are put on the spot and not freezing, not having a little panic, not getting too caught up in the ramble.
You don't need to have super fast lightning thoughts.
You don't need to have perfect wording.
You don't need to be extremely polished.
You don't need to become the most extroverted or ebullient person in the room.
But you do need a better process.
And like I said, that process is simple.
It's the clear framework.
You catch the thought.
You lead with the point.
You explain it very briefly.
You avoid overload, then you round it off and that's it.
That is how you become somebody who is clearer, who sounds calm and who sounds more confident in real time, in impromptu speaking which honestly, all of speaking is right we're always put on the spot, whether we feel it or not.
So for those of you who want to build that skill with more support and more practice and more guidance, this is what we do inside exploring academy, and those of you joining us live in the academy already know this.
Shout out daisy and duncan and we have our live amas.
So you get to come on to the call and you get to practice the frameworks and ask questions and workshop different, you know strategies in real time.
Right, we work on real life communication skills that are going to help you speak more confident.
You can have help navigate sticky communication conundrums and navigate conversations more effectively and become socially fluent.
Because in those moments that matter because it's not just the presentations and the networking events and the one-on-ones and the feedback sessions with your boss it's all those in-between moments that frankly, weigh more if you look at them in aggregate, and we do them more often
So come join us inside Exploring the Academy, and let's keep on keeping on.
And for those of you who are in the Academy already we had our live AMA yesterday and we have one next Monday as well.
So I'm excited to see you there for that as well.
Okay, let's get into our chat.
So let's see.
Okay, yes.
So we have the rambling.
Yes, the rambling.
I know.
Well, we talked about this a little bit in our live AMA yesterday.
But it's true that, you know, so many people do this.
So many people do this.
And it's not just something that you know.
It's not like an easy fix, because it it does.
It will take some process, process initiation, um uh, but you know it is feasible.
It's absolutely feasible and using the frameworks that i shared in this session is going to really help you.
Uh, let's see what else.
Yeah, Duncan says interviews are judged on how much you ramble.
You need to be clear and on point.
That's, that's true.
Daisy says I have a job interview tomorrow.
That's great for this technique.
Would it allow an interview to interviewer to still get a good feeling about all my skills?
Um, So absolutely.
I mean, if you were to use this technique, it shows how much of a clear thinker you are.
And clear thinking reflects clear communicating. right?
Clear communicators are often very clear thinkers.
There's a logical progression.
They don't overload with extraneous information and details to the point where they tire out the person, particularly the interviewer, who probably has multiple interview sessions back to back.
The point of the point where you kind of let information settle is that you open the floor to questions.
It can be, you know, it gives them the opportunity to ask oh, tell me more about this, or what else can you share about that point?
Or oh, i didn't know that you worked at that place or you did that thing yeah, so that prevents the rambling.
And then also, you don't know exactly what they're going to find interesting in what you share.
So when you pause and you allow the silence to come in, you give them an opportunity to catch on, to latch on to something that they want to know more about, because you could go on and on, and on and on and have a whole monologue, but you may or may not share something that's relevant or of interest to them.
But them asking you the question like, tell me more about this point or this thing, or I see this on your resume, tell me more about that.
It gives them the opportunity to know more about what they actually want you to share.
So Daisy says if I get asked about a situation, I'm assuming it would be more effective to elaborate on one situation over many.
Absolutely.
Start with one session.
And then in that, if there's something that they're interested in, you'll elaborate on it.
But let them guide you.
Let them say okay Daisy, tell me more about this, or they might ask a follow-up or a clarifying question or an elaboration question.
So this is why we don't want to overload.
So the rambling absolutely can be fixed.
It takes time because you're creating new neural pathways.
You're doing a pattern interrupt.
You are getting familiar with a new way of explaining yourself or communicating.
But the point is, these frameworks are available, so use them.
You have them at your disposal.
And start with this.
Start with this.
See how much the rambling dwindles, and see what you can do from there.
Duncan goes, also, rambling sometimes gets you in trouble.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's like, oh no, why did I say that?
Why did I say that?
Absolutely.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Particularly in work-related environments, you want to be aware of what you're sharing.
I mean honestly, in any type of environment, even with your best friend, you know you might say something you probably didn't think about well enough.
You had that.
You didn't have a filter, and this is not to be confused with inauthenticity.
You're still being authentic.
You're just being thoughtful about what you, what you say.
You're being thoughtful about what you say, you're thinking before you speak.
You have some process in play, you have some structure in mind.
So i have a worksheet for you that i want you to do right after this call because it's fresh in your mind.
Um, let's see, i want to share my window.
So i want you to start with the default pattern, because we can't, we can't, it's difficult to do a pattern interrupt, interrupt if you don't know what your current pattern is.
So here, when i'm put on the spot, i tend to and then share what you do, what do you?
What happens when you're put on the spot?
The situation that throws me off the most is and then share that.
My most common unhelpful habit is blah, blah, blah.
And then, using the clear framework type in your or just write in handwrite, your situations, three situations the main point, the supporting point and the clear ending.
Like real life moments.
And then your real life response rehearsal.
I want you to capture your messy instinct and then build it into a clearer answer.
So for something like, what do you think?
Or tell me about yourself.
Or why did you make that decision?
Or can you explain that more clearly?
You're going to share your messy instinct answer, your unfiltered response.
Then you're going to share your headline.
Oh, sorry, your clearer answer.
And then you're going to share your headline version only.
And then once you add all your answers or you write all your answers, post it in the community.
And then we can also, if you want to share it live next Monday, next monday, which is monday the 13th, you can also share it there, so that way you can get us, get some feedback and you can also post it in the community.
So i really recommend you do that, because it gives it holds yourself accountable right.
You have the frameworks now from this webinar.
You those of you who participated live have that extra um.
You know, the extra boost of joining live and then watching the replay is great too, and digesting the slides that i'm going to share in the community will be under daily practice in courses, And then being able to fill out this worksheet and then sharing your responses adds that extra layer of accountability because you're doing it and then also you can get some feedback.
So yes, Daisy says, I love a good worksheet.
Woohoo, yeah, me too.
I'll work on these today to share as my interview practice.
That'd be perfect.
Yeah, that's perfect.
So I'm so glad that you could join us.
And for those of you watching the replay so glad that you watched the replay be on the lookout for the slides as well as the worksheet.
I really do want you to complete the worksheet because, like i said, it just helps solidify the learnings from today.
All right, my friends?
Well, it's great seeing you, as always, and i'll see you on friday for another webinar this week we have two and then on next Monday for our live AMA.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you, Daisy.
Thank you, Duncan.
I'll see you guys in the next one.
