This is an All Ears English podcast episode 1261.
Stop having a heart attack when you pick up the phone in English.
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Do you feel out of control on the phone?
Today we answer a question from a listener who is struggling with making phone calls at work.
Get our practice tips plus a way to make calls easier in English.
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Hey, Jessica, how's everything going?
It's going.
It's going great.
James and I are wanting to adopt another dog.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so excited.
Oh, I love dogs.
Okay.
What kind of dog are you going to adopt?
Do you know?
We have our eye on this cute little sweetie pie.
She's in Texas right now.
Her name is Dixie and she's an American Staffordshire Terrier.
I don't know.
I don't know everything about dog breeds.
It's kind of a pit bull mix, but it's not a pit bull.
Yeah.
But she's so cute.
She's like small for her breed and a little bit shy.
And I just think, like having this little black dog and then my big black dog Ozzy, they're going to be like perfect brother and sister and just like help each other feel less anxious in the world.
Oh, that is awesome.
I'm so excited.
I love dogs and I want to get a dog very soon.
So I'm on board with that too.
So you're moving soon.
Will you guys be able to have a dog in your new place?
Yes, we can.
We can have one pet.
So I'm so excited.
That was our criteria is we wanted to live in a place where we could have a dog.
So I think probably like around the springtime we'll start to look into getting a dog.
So yeah, we're getting there.
You have been wanting a dog forever.
I know.
I've never had a dog.
I've always had cats and cats are awesome too.
I just love animals in general, but a dog is a special kind of pet.
And I want a dog to take hiking with me, to take on walks.
It's so cool.
The companionship you get from a dog.
So we're obviously adopting a dog.
I'm sure you will as well.
And this application process is pretty lengthy, which I appreciate, because they have to make sure these dogs are going to good homes.
Oh, yeah.
So in about an hour from now, I have to have a phone call with the shelter woman in Texas.
It's like an interview to see if I'm a good fit for this dog.
And I'm a little bit nervous about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it's good that you already have a dog so they know that you know how to take care of a dog.
I wonder how that dog does with other dogs.
Well, it's listed that she's good with dogs and kids, you know, because obviously those are our requirements.
Yeah.
But I feel like this isn't about the dog.
I feel like, oh my gosh, like what if I answer a question wrong or she doesn't think it's a good home, or something?
Oh, no.
Yes.
Being nervous before telephone calls.
It happens to natives as well, you guys.
It does.
Good transition, by the way, because that's exactly what we're talking about.
Talking about today.
Guys, it's being nervous before you get on that phone call, whether you're making the call or whether someone is calling you.
Oh man, your heart, you feel your heart leap out of your chest when that call rings.
Oh yes Yes, it's a whole other part of communication.
It's not like anything else, right?
It's super unique.
And so we got a great question from a listener.
And you know what?
I don't even want to describe it, because our student does such a good job of describing these difficult feelings.
Exactly.
So I'm going to go ahead and read Sarah's question, because I'm sure you guys can feel yourselves in her question as well.
So here it is.
So she's a listener of our podcast and she says she loves our show.
So thank you, Sarah.
And then she says, and employees to ask questions or clarify something.
When she says call, it feels like a heart attack to me.
I know.
I just sit next to her and all of my coworkers listen to me when I'm on the phone.
Gosh, that's stressful.
I know.
I know.
I feel super embarrassed and super silly when I call those people.
My brain just shuts down.
Usually people understand what I'm saying, but sometimes they do not.
Could you please give me advice on how to overcome this heart attack?
By the way, before coming to the US, I worked in a big company in my home country.
And I have enough experience working with people.
But here I just feel myself.
I feel super silly and small compared to native English speakers.
Wow.
Okay, this is amazing.
There's so much in here and I'm sure listeners you guys can identify some of this is resonating with you right now.
But you know what?
And this isn't something that necessarily has to do with the phone call, but something I just thought of as you were reading.
That is like –
She says she like she describes her work environment as kind of isolated, even though she is sitting among a bunch of coworkers.
Like, it feels like she feels separate from them.
And I would encourage you, Sarah –
Just apart from the telephone issue.
This will help though, is to start making connections with more of your coworkers.
And maybe that'll decrease the pressure a bit when you're like, oh my gosh, I'm making a phone call.
Everybody's listening.
Instead of thinking like everybody's listening and judging me, maybe she'll instead be thinking like oh Roger, over there.
That funny person is – I don't know.
Right?
Like thinking of them as nice people instead of just like judging coworkers.
Oh, my gosh.
It's true.
I was just at a dinner last night where someone was talking about their work environment as being kind of toxic and –.
You know, a lot of it is what we bring to the table ourselves, like our own energy.
And what we expect to see from people is usually what we see from them, right?
That's huge.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
And like taking it like the sort of flipping that around.
No, it would be the same thing, I guess.
Like the projection, right?
Like just thinking I am this way or you're going to think I am not a good English speaker.
And then you project that judgment and you assume that other people are thinking that, right?
Like you never actually tried to talk to them in the first place.
They don't know how good you are.
You're just assuming before you even – you're like assuming failure before you even start.
Exactly.
So it's all about that preliminary mindset that we go in with, right?
That determines the tone, the success, how everything goes.
But then in today's episode, we have some more really good tips for our listeners.
And I think guys, I'm sure a lot of our other listeners have also come into contact with this kind of problem.
You know?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh, for sure.
I remember just even when I lived in Spain trying to order pizza and it was always a big thing.
Like my roommates and I, I don't want to – I did it last time.
You have to do it this time.
Like everybody was afraid to talk on the phone.
It was something as simple as ordering pizza.
So for sure, guys –
So today's steps, they're very actionable.
These are things you guys could do to definitely help this situation.
So the first thing is just, like, get some more practice.
We have two ideas.
The second one is super awesome.
I'll give you the first one.
It's easy.
But the second one is super awesome.
Okay, so the first one...
Ask a friend.
Sarah, you're in the US, right?
You have some friends that speak English.
Ask a friend just to chat on the phone with you a couple times a week for 10 to 15 minutes.
Just get some more practice.
Yeah.
And that's a good place to start and build your confidence.
You're talking to a friend, so you know that they're going to treat you well.
They're going to support you.
So you build your confidence there and get ready for those conversations.
Yeah.
Yes, exactly.
Okay.
And then there's a good one.
All right.
This is great.
So this goes back to one of our very first episodes, episode 20.
That's right, guys.
Episode 20.
There was a 20.
That was in 2013 with my original co-host.
We did an episode about how to get telephone practice.
Because in Sarah's case what's happening is the practice is happening when she's actually under pressure on that key call.
And we don't want that to happen.
So there are definitely ways you can do this.
So our suggestion in that episode and you can go back to it guys is to, for example, look at the cereal you're eating in the morning.
There should be a number on the back of the box, or google the company, the customer service line, and offer some feedback for them.
Okay, so this sounds a little weird, i know, but of course you, this is a way that you are getting feedback, you're getting input on the phone.
You want to kind of stimulate that conversation.
So you're giving feedback on your experience as a customer.
Again, it's not just food.
It could be anything.
It could be where you got your car serviced.
It could be, what else, Jessica?
It could be where you buy your dog food.
Oh my gosh, it could be anything.
Instead of doing a Google search, call someone.
Like just like before, like every time before you like Google search something especially related to local services.
You know where is the nearest car wash, or whatever.
Yeah.
Just like, instead of just going to the map directly and reading reviews or whatever call that service.
Even if you could see the prices online, I don't care.
Like there's always a phone number given.
So call that phone number.
But still, like let's work in this preparation strategy.
So before you call these people, write down the questions you want to ask them.
Right.
Write down some new vocabulary words you want to test out with these strangers.
And then, right, like be ready and then get that telephone practice when it doesn't matter.
Because that doesn't matter.
So that this is your chance to test out new stuff before you have to call a client.
Yeah.
And I love the idea of interweaving the preparation activities that we're going to go into now, as you're doing these practice activities.
Right, guys?
So it's not just picking up the phone and calling the cereal company.
It's actually what do you do before?
What do you do after?
And then those become the habits that you bring into that real call.
So you're really prepared.
Yes.
And you know what?
I feel like, of course, this isn't a natural process.
And that's why it scares people away from doing this.
Because if somebody's at work and they need to make a phone call, they're going to be like Well, native speakers don't have to write down vocabulary words before they call someone.
Like I shouldn't have to do this.
So I'm not going to or it wouldn't even occur to them in the first place.
But you know what?
Honestly, as we're talking about it like I wish more native speakers would also prepare before they make phone calls.
You know what I mean?
Everybody could benefit by giving it a little more thought before they communicate.
It's true.
I think we talked about this once before.
I think you may have shared.
I know I shared this when I was a teenager, like an awkward teenager.
Oh, I remember.
When I would make phone calls to people I had crushes on, I would actually-
I would write out my plan for the call.
Did you say you did that too or no?
Oh my God, totally.
I remember like one of my first boyfriends, he was two years older than me.
I think I was 14 and he was 16.
And I was so nervous before I would talk on the phone with him that I would write out like bullet points
I would bullet point things I could talk to him about.
And then like he came over one day and he saw the list and I was so embarrassed.
Well see guys, native speakers do do this in some cases, but you know I mean whole idea like it's a lot more work.
Well guys, you are trying to build this skill of fluency in English, which is going to bring you to new levels in your career.
It's an added value in your life if you are fluent in English, especially on the phone.
So I think anything that's good is worth working for.
For sure.
You can't just get stuck in the frustration and be like, oh, well, my listening skills are terrible.
I'm going to watch more movies.
Okay, that'll help your listening, but that's not telephone practice.
So that's why these steps today are so important.
Yes.
Okay.
So let's go in a little bit more to the preparation step.
So what exactly should our listeners be doing before they pick up the phone during and after?
What can we do?
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Okay, so we have a lot of great suggestions, guys.
So first, I think it's valuable to reflect.
Think about past calls that you've already made.
Like, what was difficult about them?
What kind of questions came up?
What comments did you have to give?
Maybe what were some words that were not understood?
Because like Sarah says, usually she's understood, but sometimes she's not.
So think back like, okay, what did I have to repeat once?
More than once.
And just like address these things and be ready to not make these mistakes again, or be ready to hear these questions again the next time.
Yeah.
And, in addition to that, what were some moments in which you remember kind of freezing, and what could you have done to get out of that?
Right.
So when we freeze, it means that we shut down, we panic.
But imagine OK, if that happens again, what am I going to do to get myself out of it as quickly as possible?
Are we going to ask the person to repeat?
Are we going to go back through something?
What are we going to do?
So I think this is like towards that, right?
Now, when she thinks about telephone calls, all she feels is anxiety and all she can remember is like feeling awful about the things that went wrong before.
So instead like sure, reflect on that, what went wrong, but then take it a step further and be like okay, so how could that have gone better?
What could I do to make that better?
Yeah.
Yes, I love that.
This is what we have to do.
This is the preparation right here.
I love it.
And then what else would be another good activity that we can do?
So make a little vocabulary list.
So you're going to practice this before you call the services and companies, right?
Just at home instead of Googling.
So make a little vocabulary list of like talking points, words that...
You need to make sure you get across like how to describe certain ideas, right?
Maybe more technical vocabulary that has to do with your job or the accounting or whatever.
And then you could take that a step further, because what if you're not sure how to say one of these words?
You can find out.
Just go on to dictionary.com and there's always a pronunciation button there. and just hear it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot that we can do.
I mean, I think the takeaway today is clearly guys, you, you can be in control of this phone call.
Okay.
Exactly.
I think the key thing that brings our listeners together when it comes to the phone practice or being on the phone is that they feel out of control.
Have you heard that from listeners?
It's that feeling of being out of control.
But there are tangible things you can do today and start doing every day to be in control, guys.
So I just want you to go through that mindset shift.
Bring yourself through that mindset shift.
Exactly.
Yes.
So that's the final note here guys, is having a growth mindset frame of having a growth mindset around these experiences.
You're not going to go straight from like freaking out on a telephone call to being perfect on a telephone call.
That means every opportunity, every call is an opportunity to learn and get better.
So whatever didn't go right in the telephone call you just had, take a moment to reflect.
Take notes on this experience and be like, all right.
So I'm not going to say this next time, or I'm going to ask for clarification next time, because I was really confused and now I have to call them back.
Yeah.
So yeah, just make sure it's all learning opportunities.
None of it's negative.
None of it.
You're not doing anything wrong, but you can learn every time you have to make a phone call.
Exactly, exactly.
So for Sarah and for other listeners, guys, you can turn this around.
It doesn't have to be awful when you're in the office.
You can put in the practice activities, right?
Get on the phone right now.
You know, especially obviously this works if you're in the US, it's easier.
Of course.
But for Sarah, you know, call up the place where you got your car repaired.
Tell them if you like the service or not.
Use some new vocabulary words.
Get into those conversations.
I really love that core idea as a way to get that practice.
So then when you're at work, you're getting into that call.
You are ready.
Exactly, exactly.
Oh, and we also have telephone practice in the Connected Communicator course.
We made sure to make some of the videos try to reflect a telephone conversation, guys.
So there's no visuals, right?
You're just listening.
So yeah, that is part of the Connected Communicator.
Yeah, definitely, guys.
So to get into the Connected Communicator.
If you want to join that course, go to allearsenglishcom.
Slash connection.
You get to join me on a journey 12,400 miles around the U.S.
You meet native speakers and you practice your listening and fluency.
I love it.
It's so crazy beautiful and awesome.
That's what that course is.
It's amazing.
All right.
This is great.
I want to say thank you to Sarah for being so descriptive in your question and really letting us know how you feel.
Guys, if you have a similar question, write in and let us know.
Yes.
Yes.
We love your questions, guys.
Thank you, Sarah.
It was like beautifully written.
It really was.
It was really good.
All right, Jessica.
Well, good luck with that dog conversation today.
Let us know how it goes.
Yes, I'll keep you updated.
Okay, take care.
Bye.
Thanks, you too.
Bye.
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