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Shop Abercrombie denim in the app, online, and in store. morning good afternoon good evening good day to everyone out there we are going to talk about emotional intelligence and communication, which is extremely important if you want to get ahead in English. in your job in English, in your relationships in English, because that is part of social fluency, which helps you become even more fluent more aware of the language and more confident speaking the language, even if English is not your L1, is not your first language.
Also, the tips that I'm going to be sharing today and the strategies that I'm going to be sharing with you are also things that you can apply to your L1 first language as well.
So that's an added bonus. Alright, I'm going to go ahead and share my screen and we will get into it.
So did you know that about 90% of top performers in the workplace have emotional intelligence.
This is a huge percentage of people. So the people you think of as the natural leaders, the people who are confident in their English skills, confident in their communication, a lot of times what you're picking up on is their emotional intelligence. being able to regulate their emotions, understand their emotions, understand other people's emotions, and so on and so forth.
Okay, so what exactly is emotional intelligence?
First of all, we have self-awareness understanding our own emotions and not just understanding them but recognizing them knowing what to label them, what to call a spade a spade, Whether you're angry, you're upset, you're happy, you're overwhelmed, you're underwhelmed, whatever emotion it might be, you understand it and you can recognize it.
And then knowing how to control your responses so that, you know, somebody says something that aggravates you, you don't burst into rage. fit of anger or erupt in tears, right?
You're able to pause, process, and then understand how to best move forward with a response.
In other words, you're responding as opposed to reacting.
Also having that social awareness, understanding other people's emotions and be able to recognize and label their emotions.
And then lastly, this all ties into building those strong connections, that strong rapport with people at work and in life.
71% of employers value emotional intelligence over the intellectual quotient in the workplace.
So EQ is something that's going to help you get ahead And if you can do this in English, you will be on the map in recruiter's minds and your manager's mind and employer's minds.
So make sure that you are doing these things for your English as well.
Okay, so let's look a little bit at the neuroscience of emotions in communication.
So essentially there's an emotional trigger, right?
Something that... gets you riled up, triggers you, and your limbic system activates.
Then there's a three second window, which is the critical response time.
It takes three seconds to come up with a response.
After that trigger happens, their response in three seconds, which is not a lot of time. and then you have to make a conscious choice.
Are you going to respond, which is the right thing to do, the professional thing to do, the conscious thing to do, or Are you going to let your emotions get the better of you and react, which has severe consequences, right? in the workplace setting and also in the social setting.
You really do not want to react. You want to be able to control your emotions, self-regulate and respond.
So we have to understand that sometimes logic is a little bit behind, right?
Our emotions can process much quicker than our logic. because your amygdala responds before your actual rational mind can catch up.
So you hear people talking about the monkey brain, right? that's when your emotions get the better of you and you're not able to think logically.
We've all had those situations where we said something and then we immediately regretted it because it was hurtful, it wasn't logical.
These can have real consequences, like I said, with your relationships, with your friendships, with your job.
So we need to master the emotional intelligence that we can all do.
In professional settings, some triggers, emotional triggers might include performance-related ones where you're being evaluated or you have an upcoming deadline and you feel really overwhelmed.
There might be some interpersonal conflict where you're not getting along with your teammates or your colleagues or your manager, or you feel like you can't talk to them or there might be some sort of conflict their attention maybe you feel undervalued you feel like you're not being recognized for your work.
So that could be something that triggers.
And then also just feeling that sense of overwhelm and just having a really heavy workload. and feeling like you are running yourself on empty.
65 percent of workplace conflicts stem from emotional misunderstandings.
And so if we can identify the triggers, we can more aptly manage them.
If we know what the problem is and what's causing it, we know how to manage it or we have a better chance at doing so.
So here's some great self-awareness strategies that I wanna share with you.
First of all, emotional pattern recognition.
This is as simple as taking a breath, Maybe grabbing a sip of water. and notice recurring emotional responses in those specific situations.
In other words, how do you tend to react to someone criticizing you?
Or how do you react to somebody giving feedback?
Or how do you react to having a lot of work put on your plate.
So think of certain situations and then how do you tend to respond emotionally to these situations?
So write those down. Then keep in mind mindful communication.
So I never want you to just rush into something to a response to, you know, to say something.
I want you to pause, check in with yourself, check in with your emotional state and then respond.
And then I want you to reflect. This is a great practice.
You could do this daily. You could do this weekly.
You could even do it monthly, although I would really advise more frequent than that it could be as simple as at the end of the day when you are you know winding down you have a warm cup of tea in hand, you're thinking about highlights of your day.
Also think about your emotional reactions in that day.
Were there times where you were, you know, really stable, not too happy, not too sad, or were you really, really happy?
Were you really, really sad? Were you really angry? pay attention to those heightened emotions especially, because that's going to be really telling of, certain triggers and certain communication events and social situations that cause those emotions to bubble up.
Regular meditation can actually reduce your emotional reactivity by 40%.
And it's the consistency that really matters here.
Sure, if you have 10 minutes to meditate, great.
But if you only have five, that's also going to do a lot of...
It's also going to be really beneficial for you.
So just try to do it consistently. you can kind of squeeze it in with your journaling practice.
When we talk about emotional intelligence, We also talk about active listening.
So when you're doing this, I really want you to focus fully on the speaker without trying to think about your response, without planning what you're going to say or how you're going to sound or if you have an accent or whatever it is, just focus on the speaker.
Observe the nonverbals, so tone of voice, the body language, the hand gestures, the facial expressions, the micro expressions.
All of these things that are in addition to the words they utter. and then ask some nice open-ended questions that really get to the bottom of certain things where You're showing understanding.
You're checking in with the speaker. You're checking for understanding.
You're showing engagement. This is going to go. this will be noticed, right?
And then create some psychological safety.
So that's really important. Build trust by showing genuine interest and don't have any judgment.
80% of communication is non-verbal, right?
So it's not just the 20%, but it's the nonverbal 80%.
So listen in other ways than just with your ears, also with your eyes.
Okay, let's talk about managing difficult conversations.
I want you to pause and breathe, center yourself.
I want you to state your observations. Describe behavior without judging yourself or blaming yourself.
I want you to share how the situation affects you or affects the team.
And then I want you to collaborate. Ask for input.
This will help you find a solution together.
So these are really important things to think about.
Okay, now Communication across emotional styles.
So you have analytical communicators. They prefer more direct, factual exchanges.
They're more concise and specific and they provide evidence.
Then you have intuitive communicators who are really thinking about big picture and possibilities.
They might have more creative ways of solving problems, and they start with the vision.
And then you have relational communicators, and they provide You know, they wanna build rapport.
They wanna acknowledge feelings. They share personal stories and emotional resonance.
So of course, culture and personality will create, you know, these kinds of emotional styles and communication.
So it's something to be mindful of. Okay, so your mini challenge is to track your communication.
And I have this great chart for you to use.
So this is something that I want you to do every day, right?
And you can even try it every week. But if you really want to take it up a notch, do it every day because small improvements are going to get you the results that you want.
And then lastly, Continuous learning is going to help you with your emotional intelligence.
We do a lot in the Exploring Academy, which is our self-study program, and we also have monthly coaching.
So that's something that you can do to take it a step further.
Practicing daily, checking in with yourself, practicing mindful responses, and then also find people that you can get feedback from, right?
And that will also help you create accountability and promote growth.
So just know that emotional intelligence is a superpower, right?
It gives you a competitive advantage in any career.
So I really want you to think of it as an investment that pays lifelong dividends.
And the more you practice, the better you will become at it and the more socially fluent you will be.
All right. So thank you so much for joining me.
Good luck. And I wish you a wonderful day.
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