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Grownups.
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Welcome back once again to Stump Mr Eric, the What If World game show, where we ask what if Mr Eric can't remember anything from the old episodes of What If World?
I'm your host, Ms.
Lynn, and I am joined, of course, by the neato, nerdy, novaturient narrator, Mr. Eric.
There's always one that stumps me right off the bat.
Novaturient?
Novaturient describes a person who is desirous of new experiences and change, indicating a positive attitude towards growth and development.
I mean, I don't think I know anyone as novaturient as you, Mr. Eric.
Aw, thank you.
Well, I feel the same way.
You are such an adventurer.
And I try to be Novatarian, but also I work in a small windowless box recording this show.
So it is lovely to be on this adventure with you, Miss Lynn today, and with all you kids listening out there.
Yes.
All of our listeners who send in all their ideas definitely help us.
These two novaturient people in the adventures of our imagination.
And speaking of our loyal patrons and listeners, this level zero question comes from Sean.
What Guilds and Goblins episode did you like the most?
Wow.
I know it's maybe an obvious answer, but for me it's got to be the first one, because I made it as almost like a joke, half serious kind of an experiment.
And I was like, let me just do something kid-friendly, and I'll just do this one little story.
But then it kind of took me a couple episodes to finish that little story.
And by the time I had finished posting those episodes, I was getting tons of questions, positive reviews.
People were asking about it and I was like this is the strangest thing ever.
You know an actual play TTRPG, that is, imaginary characters playing imaginary characters.
And yet, for some reason, people love it and I love doing it.
So thank all of you for making that my favorite episode and Gills and Goblins one of my favorite weird things that I get to do.
Yeah.
I mean, that makes total sense that it would be that very first G&G episode that is your favorite.
Of course, you got that question correct.
Huzzah!
Now let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with more Stump Mr. Eric.
Hey grown-ups.
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Hi, grown-ups.
Today, Fred and I got to meet someone very special.
Cooper, the little live pet's ouchies puppy.
Oh, boy, Mr. Eric, when I first met Cooper, he had a little limp and a rosy glow to his cheeks.
He needed my help.
That's right, Fred.
Cooper isn't just cute.
He's interactive, with over 50 sounds and reactions.
He'll whimper when he's hurt and even try to walk.
But don't worry, puppies.
I mean, kiddos.
You get to help Cooper feel better.
You can put on his splint, wet the bandages, wrap them up and ta-da, you've made them a real cast, just like a vet would.
And once the cast dries, you can decorate it however you like.
Then give Cooper lots of love and care.
And when he's ready, Cooper will play his happy sound woof woof, to let you know it's time to take off the cast.
He'll lift his head, rest his paw, and walk to his cheerful song.
Plus, Cooper comes with a puppy carrier that transforms into a vet tray, so you can bring your new friend anywhere and keep helping him heal.
I love helping Cooper feel better.
It's like real vet play. but with extra puppy cuddles.
Grownups, bring home Little Live Pets Cooper the Ouchie Puppy today.
Available at all major retailers.
Now is the time in the show where we would usually do a level one story.
But this episode is going to be a little bit different because we got a short story from, prompted by the listener question at the end of the episode, back a couple of episodes ago and Nyara sent us her story and it was prompted by a question originally called in by Lyndon.
So let's just refresh our memory as to Lyndon's original question.
Hi, my name is Lyndon, and I like drawing and writing and creating comics.
And my what if?
Question is what if every time Fred the dog ate a wand, his tongue got longer and eventually his tongue got so long that it wrapped around the entire what if world?
Thank you.
Bye.
So that was Lyndon's question.
Nyara sent in her story which features Abacus and Fred, and so we're going to play a little game with Nyara's story.
So welcome back to Stump Mr. Eric, Abacus, and Fred.
It's nice to see you both.
Oh, it's good to be here.
I said it first.
It wasn't really a contest.
I'm in your lap, and I'm closer to the mic, so my voice got there before yours.
I thought we were sort of speaking at the same time, but whatever, Fred.
It's just nice to have a lap puppy again.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you both.
Thank you for coming back to Stunt Mr. Eric.
There used to be an old game show called What's My Line, where the panelists would try and guess what someone's job was.
So this is What If World, What's My Line?
And it's literally.
I'm going to read out the narrator parts of Nyara's story, and then you have to fill in what you think your next line is, and then you're gonna be scored based on how close to Nayara's story you get.
Wait, so Nayara did write the things that we would say?
We're going to see how close you can get to what Nayara wrote.
So we're going to improvise a version of Nayara's story and then I will reveal Nayara's actual story and we'll see how close you get to figuring out the lines that Nyara wrote for you.
Oh, Nyara, what a lovely challenge you've created for us today, and you too, of course, Miss Lin.
Yes.
We're ready.
I'm gonna win, you abacus.
I think we're on a team.
You're both in this together, Fred.
First one to the end of the story gets a stick!
It's Okay.
Well, here I've given you a copy of the script of Nyara's story, but you'll see, your lines are all question marks.
I'm sorry, I thought you said a copy of the stick.
You shouldn't have rolled it up like that, Ms.
Lin.
All right, well, hold on just a second.
Let me print out another copy.
I could make one with magic.
Oh, let's just wait for the printer.
Thanks, Abacus.
Okay, don't eat this script, Fred, please.
Wait, are we in the story?
Yes, of course I won't read the script.
But I probably will.
Please look at the script.
You'll see there are parts that are my parts, and then it says your name with question marks.
You have to figure out what your line is.
All right, I'll help you in case you're... I can read in what-if world.
Don't worry about it.
Okay, are you both ready to start?
Indeed, I've got my spectacles on and my bifocals over them, because my vision's sort of going a bit.
Okay.
I am a thousand years old, after all.
That's fair, that's fair.
Okay.
It was just a normal afternoon for Abacus P. Grumbler.
It was a half day, so Abacus had a nice break.
Oh, it's so nice to get out into the world, probably to enjoy my break under the sun.
Abacus said, opening the door to his study to find...
A very lumpy new pillow that Abacus had never seen before.
What mystery!
What wonder!
I see a pillow before me.
Should I sit upon it?
Or perhaps bring it out with me to the park?
Abacus considered for a moment, then sat down on his comfortable study chair.
Hey!
I was here first, Abacus!
Get off of me!
Fred the dog cried, jumping off of the chair just as Abacus sat down in it.
Oh dear, I didn't realize.
You are sort of cream tiger color.
I know that is your shade, Fred, and I like it so much that I got a chair in the same color.
Abacus exclaimed, But what's this?
I noticed something strange, possibly.
Possibly?
Possibly.
He narrowed his eyes.
Yes, very strange indeed, Fred.
Let me get a closer look at you.
Ah, you can look all you want.
I'm beautiful.
I'm the oldest, stinkiest dog in the whole wide world, and you can't do nothing about it.
Fred looked around nervously.
Maybe just don't look too close, though.
There might be secrets after all.
Delightful, despicable secrets or something like that.
Abacus frowned, but then shrugged.
That's not at all suspicious.
Now I have my spectacles and my bifocals, but I'm not seeing much.
So I'll also get my magnifying glass glasses and put them on.
Now it was Fred's turn to narrow his eyes.
Why does anybody need three pairs of glasses?
Shouldn't you just get one pair that actually works?
Fred asked nervously, taking a step back.
Well, you would think, but it's actually harder to find a prescription that really works for you sometimes.
I mean, ask anybody with glasses.
Abacus pointed a wand at the old dog and a spray of magic blasted out to hit Fred's tongue.
Why are you going on?
Well, you know, it's probably my fault.
My tongue was sticking out really far.
Fred yelped as his tongue grew longer and longer and longer, until it burst out of the roof of the observatorium, reaching higher and higher.
That long pinkish-grayish-brownish tongue stretched straight up towards the atmosphere, but then suddenly banked back down towards What If World wrapping around the planet.
Oh, Fred, I'm so sorry.
I was just trying to magnify you so I could see you better.
But, oh, I've magnified you a little too much, haven't I?
Abacus said, gazing up satisfactorily.
Although I wanted to take a break, and I have now given the whole world a nice cozy break, wrapped in the comfort of Fred's warm, dry tongue.
The old wizard laughed.
What a joyous day indeed it has become.
As long as you're feeling okay, Fred.
Me?
I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this.
Was I ever hiding anything?
Or have you just not seen it yet?
Who knows?
Fred cried, his tongue swinging him back and forth as it grew and stretched.
Okay now I'm pretty sure that I'm not feeling okay with this.
It's pretty rough i mean rougher than my dried out tongue usually is fred's tongue pulled him up through the hole in the observatorium's roof, up up up and out of sight.
Oh no fred, you forgot to grab me.
I was looking for a nice break, abacus said staring out the window.
He stayed there for a long minute, then shrugged and turned back to sit on his chair.
Oh well, I don't remember him saying anything about him not liking it, although I did unfortunately, put my earplugs in rather than my hearing aids.
Uh, oh, well.
The end.
Wow.
Okay, well, um... How we doing, Mr. Lame?
I felt like we were spot on.
Well, now we can reveal what Nayara's actual story was.
So if you will turn over the script that I gave you before, you'll see Nayara's actual script.
Oh, here it is.
Yes, indeed.
Oops.
Fred spit it out.
I didn't realize there was more script.
I thought we were done.
Fred, it is not very environmentally responsible to have to keep printing out new scripts.
No, this one's just a little sticky.
Not like a stick, but like it's been in my mouth.
Yeah, I can see.
Yeah, and I had been chewing on some bubble gum first, but I think we'll manage.
Just keep it away from my beard.
It's long and luxurious.
All right, let's give this a try.
Now we're going to read the script as written.
Everybody okay with that?
Yes, indeed.
Okay.
Me too.
It was just a normal afternoon for Abacus P. Grumbler.
It was a half day, so Abacus had a nice break.
It's a half day so I have a nice break, Abacus said, opening the door to his study to find a very lumpy new pillow that Abacus had never seen before.
Hmm, a very lumpy new pillow I have never seen before.
Interesting.
Abacus considered for a moment, then sat down on his comfortable study chair.
Ack, Fred the dog cried. jumping off of the chair just as Abacus sat down in it.
Fred the dog?
Abacus exclaimed.
What in the what-if are you doing in my study?
He narrowed his eyes.
Wait, you weren't chewing on my wands, were you?
Fred looked around nervously.
Not exactly?
Abacus frowned, but then shrugged.
Good enough for me.
Now, Fred, do you want to help me practice my curses?
Now it was Fred's turn to narrow his eyes.
What do you mean, help?
You aren't going to curse me, are you?
Fred asked nervously, taking a step back.
Of course not.
Alakaton!
Abacus pointed a wand at the old dog and a spray of magic blasted out to hit Fred's tongue.
What's happening to me?
Fred yelped as his tongue grew longer and longer and longer, until it burst out of the roof of the observatorium, reaching higher and higher.
That long pinkish-grayish-brownish tongue stretched straight up towards the atmosphere but then suddenly banked back down towards What-If World wrapping around the planet.
Aha!
Abacus said, gazing up satisfactorily.
You were lying to me.
I cursed you so that every time you chewed on a wand, your tongue would grow a mile longer.
The old wizard laughed.
And it actually worked.
My magic worked.
Abigail!
Fred cried, his tongue swinging him back and forth as it grew and stretched.
I don't think you thought this through.
Abacus's tongue pulled him up through the hole in the observatorium's roof up up, up and out of sight.
Oh dear, looks like I destroyed the world again, Abacus said, staring out the window.
He stayed there for a long minute, then shrugged and turned back to sit on his chair.
Oops, well, someone else will fix it.
Sorry, what if world?
The end would just like to say I think Nyara did an exceptional job at capturing the voices and mannerisms of two of What If World's most popular characters.
I mean, yeah, I remember that happening now, and it was, yeah, that's exactly how it went down.
I don't know how we forgot it before.
What an event that was.
We forget lots of stuff on Stump Mr. Eric.
It's kind of our thing.
Still rubbing off old pieces of stick from my tongue.
One, do you mean?
How do you feel about how the first version compared to the second version?
100% accurate.
100% accurate.
What do you think, Abacus?
I mean, it was 100% different and also wonderful.
Agreed, agreed.
I'm going to give you 50 points for your version of Nyara's story.
Thank you again, Nyara, for the wonderful story.
Thank you again for being here, Abacus and Fred, and I'll look forward to the next time we see you.
Thank you, Nyara!
Goodbye!
Thanks for the script!
Stick, I ate it!
Okay.
Oh my.
Don't give your dogs paper.
They probably won't eat it, but it's not healthy for imaginary dogs.
No.
Alright!
That was your extra long preview of our latest episode of Stump Mr. Eric.
Miss Lynn sort of combined our level one trivia with our bonus round that time, so you got a little extra content.
But there is more available in our supporter feed, along with all our past episodes of Stump, Mr Eric.
Check us out at whatifworldpodcastcom.
Slash support to support our show and skip the ads next time you listen to What If World.
I'd like to thank...
Karen O'Keefe, my co-creator, Miss Lynn, the producer of What If World and host of Stump, Mr Eric Craig Martinson for our theme song, and all you stumpers at home who love learning and getting things wrong just as much as me.
And until we meet again, keep wondering.
