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Are we recording? Indeed.
Indeed, sir. Yeah, I played Paladins this morning.
What? I've already played Paladins.
Hold on a second. I played more Paladins before 10 a .m. Hold on.
You woke up this morning and played a couple - You woke up this morning and played a couple fucking rounds of Paladins?
I did, yeah. Solo? Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, somebody has to get up with the dog, because she's in a crate at night.
Oh. You got to let her out to go to the bathroom.
Well, yeah, of course.
And so, like, 7 .30, 8.
And so, yeah, I got up.
Nobody else was up.
I just played a bunch of Paladins and came to work.
That's delicious. Yeah.
All right, well, let's take a look at this here.
Oh, man, did you see this Labo switch?
Yes, I did. That looks good.
God. Yeah. Monsters.
Yeah, I'm a sucker for Joy -Cons, too.
It hadn't occurred to me that they could put out some cool official docks.
Yeah. As well. I actually, I have a dock attached to every television.
Like, technically, I could take them and move them.
Any room, yeah. Yeah, I could technically.
Yeah. But part of the magic trick of it is that you can set it down anywhere and pick it up anywhere.
Yeah. And go anywhere and then leave it.
Now I have, I can actually do that.
Right. It charges anywhere I want to.
As soon as I'm done with it, or as soon as I'm ready for it, it's probably there.
Yeah, I got the Splatoon Joy -Cons, the neon...
Oh, the crazy pants ones?
The green ones, yeah.
Yeah, they can release an endless supply of those, and I'm a sucker for them.
Well, yeah, because they're nice.
Yeah, and they're easy to swap in and out.
Well, yeah, and then, especially if you're playing with youths, at least in our house, which one you get is a really big deal.
It's important, the color of it.
Oh, it's such a big deal.
But also, attaching them and syncing them up?
So easy. It's effortless.
In fact, syncing them up is part of every game when you start it.
Yeah. The sync process is so refined.
It just never gets in your way.
So choosing another Joy -Con is painless, because you do it every time you're required to play.
Yeah. Well, here. Let me take a look at the strip file.
I know we had the battle pass thing in there.
Oh, yeah. I'm getting with randos blowing up my spot.
Yeah. We'd also talked about an enemy is savage.
Yeah, I have that here.
Enemy is savage slash immortal.
An enemy is unreasonable.
Let's see. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.
And there's all kinds of news, I guess, about different stuff.
There's a Captain Spirit thing.
I haven't played it.
I'm going to grab it and play it.
Because it's free. And I'd like to see it.
I'd like to see what the deal is.
But if I sit down at night, I'm going to play Paladins.
Yeah, I'm sending that text at 9 for the pedants.
But also, since the 1 -2 patch, I haven't had the instability either.
Oh, really? Yeah, the last few nights.
Oh, that's good. I haven't.
Even if Terminus is in the game.
That's true. And I had a quad last night.
And it was okay? It was okay.
Everything crashed.
All right. Yes. This is what I like.
Like, it's like there's a lot about it that's like very old school PC.
Yeah. Right? Yeah. Including the fact that it would just melt down from time to time.
Yeah, it's a little buggier than Overwatch. Like, Overwatch is just perfectly polished.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
And I think that there's just a little bit of smudge on this lens.
But what it enables is this crazy pants kaleidoscopic remix remix yeah of shooters and mobas we were we were very close to ending on a win last night oh yeah it was a there was a rough there was a a rough cadre yeah on that other side and it's i'm getting destroyed by snipers oh yeah like snipers in this game are really fucking bad we're missing that yeah i don't have a counter sniper well this dave would fucking log on oh yeah well Well, yeah, Dave can definitely do that, but Dave's also a real asset on support.
Yeah. Like that's the thing about Dave. It's like, where is he best utilized?
Like, it turns out that I'm actually better doing DPS than support.
Yeah, your Ruckus is also good for frontline.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So, but those are like non -traditional, for me, those are non -traditional roles.
Yeah. It's really odd to be in a position where I'm the person that makes a difference in a team fight.
mm -hmm I specifically like it's you know in League of Legends like a lot of my stuff is just borrowed from that yeah I specifically avoid that type of thing just because the responsibility is so big right but champs like Cassie make it so easy yeah and this does I definitely got a League of Legends vibe when when people were calling you out for your purchasing oh yeah for not purchasing items like that's something that would happen in law well that's the thing because you have to like I would completely forget in law to buy shit all the time oh yeah and it's like in In this, you may not get a chance,
like if you're playing well, you may not get a chance to buy unless you die.
It's only between rounds that you really have the opportunity, and there might only be two rounds depending on how it goes.
But being able to turn on auto buy lets me avoid that.
Yeah, yeah. For me, there's some really specific angles, some really specific item paths that you can use to break certain types of things.
Like if you get that wrecker, If you build that wrecker thing all the way to the top, it's like you deal 225 % damage to shields.
So if there's a shield in your game.
Yeah, with a character like Cassie.
Yeah. And then you can also do that and then build to destroy constructs.
Right. So between that, anything that people are trying to introduce into the fight, it's just a couple, from a high damage character, it's just a couple shots.
Yeah. Yeah, I thought when you did Furia too, I thought that was good.
when i'm on terminus and you're on furia oh if you can keep me topped off terminus can last a long time definitely yeah yeah that's a that's a classic that's a classic setup for us too but if i but if you're furia and i'm ruckus that's pretty good as well i love furia yeah yeah and the difference is that ruckus can get in and out like the like terminus has got his jump but yeah if he's using his jump to get away he no something's wrong yeah he needs to get in and stay there yeah And just luxuriate in the damage.
Okay, let's see. Enemy of Savage buying items. I'm going to make a note that I got BTFO by these randos.
The best part was that there seemed to be a class analysis in there where it's just like you bought the fucking battle pass.
Yeah, exactly. But you don't even buy items with the imaginary money.
You just spend a bunch of real money.
Oh, he was definitely making an assertion that you You are the sort of player that is ruining Paladins.
You just spend money on the fucking Battle Pass to buy these skins, but you don't even know how to play the goddamn game.
Disgusting. Yeah, and it's like, and I'm disgusted too, like with myself.
Yeah, I'm just as angry as you are.
I'm on his team against me just to feel better.
Yeah, you have to buy the items. It's like, you do have to buy them.
That's the only way they have an effect.
But also, Also, I cannot, no matter how bad a game has gone for me, and I've been in some bad fucking games.
Oh, I've seen it. I've been in those games.
Yeah, I've never once pulled up Tab and thought to look at someone else's gear.
Like it would never even occur to me to try to assess their build.
Oh yeah, that's a different layer, right?
Now the fact that you had no build, that's, you know, that's bad.
I might notice that you had bought nothing.
thing yeah which is what happened yeah it's like wait there isn't a single item there also I'm like two books into this series that you gave me and you haven't even finished the book yeah I knew that I knew that I was on the right track yeah and it's like once I knew that I was right the thrill was gone you know I was like this is a great book yawn just said it over there wow now I'm on I'm I'm on the prowl I'm on the prowl for new you're not reading another book What book are you?
New Literature. No, I'm playing Paladins.
Oh, yeah, okay. All my reading time got transmuted.
Well, it was between that and Yoku, so now that Yoku's gone, there might be a little window for a pile of paper.
These are good books, man.
I'm the one that told you they were good books.
I know. Don't be like that.
You're being like that.
I'm being like that?
I'm sorry. Let's see.
I think there's something we can get out of here.
I definitely hate the turtle.
What was challenging?
challenging like the problem is that there'd be no way to make a strip about the funny thing that happens in the game with challenging makoa oh yeah so every time makoa who is a giant sea turtle who throws an anchor is he's like he's turtle well it's like we have names for everybody you have pharaoh but a dragon pharaoh but a dragon and then this is turtle we have ghost ninja girl Ghost Ninja Girl Turtle Roadhog Turtle Roadhog yeah so anyway Turtle Roadhog is we have McCreeper we do?
yeah he's McCree but also Reaper kind of oh Androxus we call him McCreeper I didn't know you called him we call him McCreeper dude that's great yeah so uh yeah Makoa is a turtle man who like spins and he has a shield he can put out yeah he's like Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Roadhog.
Yeah. And so he has, when he flips his alt, he says, You challenge Makoa?
Yeah. And then he kills you.
Or at any rate, he becomes very difficult to kill.
He does. But the response in -game is like, I think there's been a misunderstanding.
Mr. Makoa, sir. Mr. Makoa.
I mean, I want to assure you.
Yeah. But then also the idea that he's just so insecure that he thinks everything is a challenge.
You challenge? no makoa makoa no take it easy man no i just i want to know if you want the sourdough toast or the or the whole wheat you challenge no i'm trying to give you your change exactly it's like no this is a free service we offer like yeah it's a value add for you we've already paid for the service yeah it's a very difficult it's it's easier to do in real time than it is yeah than it is to actually like communicate down there and also there's the fact that it might be that nobody knows Turtle Roadhog.
Could be. Which is the other challenge.
It's a very inside joke.
Although games definitely happen fast. I suspect there are people playing Paladins.
I think there's a lot of people playing Paladins.
That's my guess. Yeah.
Just because games happen instantly, and these are 10 -people games.
And my guess is that a lot of people who came in through Realm Royale, like me, are like, what are these other games they've got?
Yeah, exactly. Especially if they start to recognize some of those abilities and weapons.
Yeah. They'll be like, oh, wait a second, And I kind of get this.
You can go from warrior to buck instantaneously.
Without much effort, really.
Right. And the warrior's axe is just Grover's axe.
Oh, yeah. Like, it feels the same.
Grover is one of the most dangerous support -type characters I've ever seen.
Oh, yeah. Because of that damage over distance scale.
And he can just beam you with that from so far away.
Beam you with it. He can throw the crippling axe.
He can configure the right trigger to do a bunch of extra horse shit.
Yeah, he can make it so that when he cripples you, he heals.
Yeah, yeah. Just like in real life.
Yeah, exactly. They've fucked with some of the archetypes.
It's like, as Overwatch is collapsing archetypes, this is just insane.
You mentioned Overwatch there, and I had a flashback to my Symmetra play yesterday.
Oh, so you got some in?
I had to. I mean, I had to see what they did to her.
But you'd already seen her on the PTR, right?
I had seen her on the PTR, but that's on the PC.
You see her on the PTR across the way?
Yeah. This is me playing on my home.
This is me on the PlayStation playing my character, and she was not my character, and it hurt.
Really? Yeah. I think they super fucked her up.
Really? Yeah, I do.
I'm legitimately really upset.
I don't think I can play her anymore.
I wasn't going to talk about it because it's silly to be so mad.
No, but now I can see that it's actually just getting...
It really has gotten...
Like, I will never get to play that character again.
That one I really liked.
Like, she was my favorite character.
I have the most hours.
Oh, yeah, because they've basically, like...
It's all different.
That character does not exist. Yeah, the teleporter is bonks now.
Doesn't make any sense.
The left... Let's see.
So, left bumper throws her turret.
Shoots her turret out.
Left bumper, okay, yeah.
But it shoots the turret.
It shoots it out in a straight line.
that anyone who sees it can shoot and destroy while it's flying her right bumper now is her teleporter and her super is a great big wall yeah how's that work it's weird I've seen it be interesting in a couple maps how do you orient it you put it out and then you can spin it oh weird so like in a room like a point think about a capture point where you divide half of it and now you're sort of moving back and forth between it and they're trying to shoot you.
It was really interesting.
I don't necessarily mind that.
The ult, I think, represents some really, really big thinking.
But I don't think she should have it.
To me, it doesn't make sense for her.
I really miss her flying shield that she would shoot out in front of her.
Well, see, I assumed that that was still there.
No, it's gone. The flying shield where you can set it and it goes...
Yeah, and then you can run behind it and be super aggressive if you want or you can use it as sort of a defensive play.
Well, because the cool thing about that is that she has to sort of physically commit to place a turret before.
Yeah. And then, yeah, that's her kit now.
And then they changed her basic gun to not lock on.
Well, yeah, the basic gun beam weapons like that, it's like I can sort of get there with Zarya, and then the more the beam seems to get wider and a little bit easier to hit and higher damage, like the more energy you absorb from her shields.
Yeah. But beam weapons in general in games like that that are just sort of damage rods.
Yeah, I don't find them fun.
They're not that fun.
The rest of Zarya's kit is what makes that fun.
Yeah. Yeah, and I understand if you want to get rid of the lock -on, but I think it could have been done much better.
I think they could have made her a character that got played at the top tier without stripping away everything.
thing yeah it seems it seems like yeah there's a it seems like the buff opportunities yeah and they must think of it i mean i know i know that there was a problem yeah obviously because that's i mean that's a that's a gruesome place it's purely about statistics oh yeah like at the highest tiers of play there's no there's not that much nuance no these things either work or they don't she was never played she was never played not once yeah and so it's clear that there was something that wasn't working with them or wasn't working with their play styles or something like that.
But does a character have to be all things?
Does a character have to be playable and fun for casual players and a successful, you know, popular player at the pro tier?
Well, some of the archetypes, I think, do do that.
Oh, yeah, most of them do.
But is there a space for a character who is more fun for casual players or a different type of player that isn't seen at that pro tier?
Yeah, I think that there's a lot.
I think that there's a lot.
I think that the vast majority of players exist out there.
Yeah. In that space, you know, it's like it's like we had talked about it once before, where it's sort of like with WoW PvP. Yeah.
How they kept trying to balance these characters and abilities so that they would function both in a PvP context, like against other players in real time and against PvE content.
Right. and things shifted a lot and got weird and they were messing with it for a long time when I had a perfectly good job.
I was having a good time, yeah.
Yeah, and obviously I don't feel like I'm entitled or whatever, they don't have to keep it the way I wanted it but it's okay for me to say that I'm going to miss her.
But yeah, I think there's a philosophical question there about what the purpose of these games are yeah and i think that what this i think i think that if if nothing else this sort of means that one of the major purposes of overwatch is to be played as a spectator game yeah in arenas yeah right right and they want every character to be viable in that space that's fair yeah i just i think they could have done it and kept her the spirit of that character intact and i just don't think she plays the same well definitely not i feel like they did that with mercy i think she's still mercy like carrie
even has come around and like yeah you know she plays mercy a lot maybe i'll come around to symmetra but well yeah just play her a few more times see if you can find it i mean it's probably you probably you have to have that like good game yeah where you figure something out yeah uh let's see yeah i mean i don't mind i mean i wonder if it's sort of like you talk about in terms of the item purchase like do you talk about it in a little bit of a meta way like a narrative like a narrator type way like you can buy items and these items these you can You can purchase items in a round of Paladins that,
you know, improve different things, you know, incrementally.
But you do have to purchase them.
Yeah. Like, they don't have any effect if you don't.
If you don't buy them.
But there is an auto -buy.
I mean, I feel like— You really have to work hard to fuck that up.
You have to go out of your way.
Like, you have to turn it off and then not buy them.
Look, it's a two -step process.
It's like two -step authentication for failure.
Yeah, exactly. When I fail, I fail in a curatorial way.
But no, the idea is that I feel like that's the rest of the strip.
Yeah. Where it's like, I can just communicate that to you.
So this guy's fucking blowing up your spot for not buying items. Yeah.
And it's like, well, I turned off autobuy so that I would purchase, so that I would have the opportunity to purchase things.
Make conscious decisions.
No, no, no, no. exactly to like to to curate my item selection it's like yeah but then you didn't buy them yeah i feel like there's a i feel like there's a strip in that linear plane but the truth is is that i didn't even know he was mad because i don't look down there i don't look at chat oh yeah in pc games are you serious right that's not what i'm about yeah why would you i don't go down there Uh -uh.
Yeah. Abandon all hope.
Yeah, he was pretty mad.
I don't understand why he's so mad.
Tell him why you're mad, son.
Tell him why you're mad, son.
I'm in it for the culture.
You know what I'm saying?
I forgot to buy. You know, it happens.
It's not that simple.
The game auto -buys for you by default.
You had to turn that off and then refuse to buy.
It's like two -step authentication failure.
failure for but but for losers but for losers yeah auto buy is on by default well if i had bought you know what i mean yes if i had learned i should be a true profession i should have been a true proficient yeah well if i had bought it would have been i i wanted the option to purchase items tactically tactically yeah but you didn't but then you didn't buy anything you turned it off and then forgot it's like two -step authentication for losers i wanted the option to purchase items in a curated tactical way yeah but then but then you didn't you turned it off you you manually turned it off and then
forgot and forgot to buy here you go man this dude is but you didn't buy any items yeah it could just be gabriel as the representative of the yeah i think so in chat don't comic audience listen up close you need to understand it's a very specific situation Obviously it involves interaction with the chat mode.
Dude, we're halfway through this match and you haven't bought any fucking items. Oh, I forgot.
Hey, shithead. You shit -eater.
You shit -eater. We're halfway through this match. You haven't bought any items yet.
I haven't bought any items?
I forgot to buy. Shit, damn it, I forgot to buy.
It happened. Auto -buy is on by default.
I wanted the... Okay, this conversation makes so much sense.
your auto -buy is on by default i wanted the option to purchase items in a curated tactical way but then you didn't you manually turned off and then forgot to buy and then didn't buy no you mainly turned off and then bought nothing nothing it's like two -step authentication for losers for idiots idiots or for losing yeah for failure yeah exactly Exactly.
And then bought nothing.
It's a two -step authentication, but for failure.
Yeah, there we go. Hello, this is Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade.
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