yo engage with engage with the recording device anytime you want situated here yeah you're you're wrapped up in some kind of bondage thing sprung this on me hey did you end up checking out aegis defenders not yet or aegis i guess whatever the fuck probably aegis i think so yeah you got to okay that i think that would be a really really good friday game oh okay it has got crazy pants ideas like at the beginning should i check it out before friday or should i wait and you show it to me on friday okay definitely get some basics so that we can you know when levels start up we can go project even further
but so the multiplayer is all local like a lot of switch stuff there's no there's nothing on there that's gonna give you internet playability is it split screen yeah okay yeah dynamic split screen it is very very good like it's beautiful but it's also so like it protect you know what i mean uh -huh no it's it's beautiful and some of the ideas are good and it's like it's one of those things where it's like if a game has co -op and i'm trying to play it alone this is how it works because i've got you know two people that i control yeah and so it's like whenever i need to do something else with somebody
else i have to switch to that person come over and do it it's one thing to do that in a in a game where it's like a puzzle game or something.
It's another thing to do that in something that's kind of like an action game in a lot of ways.
Oh, in real time? Yeah.
Well, it will pause when you're switching, but for me, the problem has more to do with just switching roles in my head.
That's where the actual choke point is.
It's offenders. It's changing my thought process on the fly, because these characters are pretty different.
Yeah. Melee. Some are not.
But there's tech trees for the individual characters.
Wow. Oh, man. It's you seem like you're feeling much better uh well i think i was able to get let's not say that out loud i guess okay i think i was mostly able to get out ahead of it good uh so did you end up playing the war tile the the latest release a little bit yeah i i didn't i haven't played any of the previous stuff you said it was rough but what i played yesterday felt really good we always I was just going to say, yeah, it went up on early access young.
I mean, it basically went up on early access on the strength of its cool -ass dioramas.
Yeah. Which are cool -ass.
Oh, yeah. Cool -ass for sure.
Yeah, I want to see, like the water is just completely frozen.
Yeah. Yes. I'm okay with that.
Yeah, they're little models, and you get to play with toys and put new hats on them.
I would love to go further into that and just get a sense of where they went with it.
Like I said, as I went in, I was like, hey, you guys definitely have something cool here.
I don't have time for this right now.
Yeah, the idea that it's timer -based in real time, I was not expecting that.
To me, if you look at it, it looks like a Disgaea, like a turn -based game.
Well, literally look at everything else.
Like, the whole diorama is frozen in time.
You would think that this is a game where time stops.
But no. You're moving your little toys as fast as you can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. It's like it's Warhammer Pax East Rules.
Yeah. You're just throwing handfuls of shit at other people.
See, there was something else I wanted to ask you about, but you weren't here yesterday.
I was just going to say, it's not just you.
There are many who come to me seeking wisdom.
Oh, you watched the finals, the OWL finals.
It was very interesting.
Play Symmetry, you cowards.
God, that sign was so great.
well i like that it's like they check it and it's like i mean clearly they must be looking at these signs oh you gotta look at signs otherwise somebody's gonna show up with like pepe the frog it's gonna be a thing yeah right it's like and and and then instead of your multi -million dollar production that'll be the whole story yeah but no it's like that's the first time when i've popped into one of these owl matches where i saw something i would call a match oh yeah i saw I saw multiple matchups that had surprising bits.
Yeah. They were going to five rounds all day.
Yeah. I was really pulling for the Outlaws.
Houston, yeah. Because they started out so strong.
Yeah. Right? They're a good team.
Well, yeah. It was actually interesting.
And they basically have the Crix color scheme.
Yeah, they do. So it makes all their skins, they look like ballers.
like when they get on the field they look like badasses yeah noah's reinhardt skin is outlaws just because of the he picked him because of the colors and how cool the skin is yeah and that's a separate currency right yeah in the game like it is yeah how do you earn it you can't earn it you can only buy it oh oh it's it's a it's a funding mechanism for the league yeah i think so i see yeah i just don't play that much i don't play that much overwatch i mean i would i don't know know when you guys are playing it like right now all the time really yeah yeah yeah i mean right now i'm playing uh i'm
like sort of between games in a bunch of ways so i'm like trying a bunch of games that uh i've been wanting to play and then on top of that it's like i'm just going back and sort of like just touching games like war tile that yeah were in early access for a while and now have emerged yeah right so it was like subnautica for a while and i was really really impressed with that yeah i i tried a little subnautica because gabe really likes it and he He was telling me how cool it was.
Well, I can't even imagine.
Like, that's the sort of game that, like, everybody at school is going to talk about.
Yeah. Right? It's too claustrophobic for me.
Oh, it's scary as shit.
It doesn't get less scary.
No, like, I don't like snorkeling for the same reasons.
Like, it makes me very nervous to be underwater.
Dude, that's so interesting.
Yeah. So there's all these overlaps between you and Brenna.
It's just, like, it's a thing.
I assume neither of you believe it or appreciate the comparison.
but but like snorkeling is is cool as shit and it's it's something exclusively for clever with it people strong yeah capable men handsome people people people yeah so I was like because I just figured it out and it's like you're swimming around and then it's like you're looking at these beasts and then like you hear a whale yeah like there's no whale there but you just like hear it out there distance yeah exactly and so those scale disparities are just part of the experience yeah it's possible for me to get frightened but the the shelf has to drop off really deep yeah i have to be looking into
dark water yeah and then i get freaked out but near the shore it's all to the g huh but so i was out with brenna and it's like this is so cool it's like brenna the snorkels put on the goo yeah and it's like listen this is going to be super sweet your brother and i have been out here we figured out all the awesome shit we know where the beasts are let's go see him and we got out there and then she was it sounded like she was like laughing through her snorkel and i'm like hell yeah dude this is a great time yeah i was i was like all right like she's i'm able to this is something we're able to share yeah
but she was actually crying hysterically oh yeah it was just like the same sort of staccato burst and it was being modified by the snorkel so she's like crying through her snorkel yeah and i was like this This is cool.
So I'm like, hey, let's go deeper.
And it's just like, nope.
Eventually she just like paddles out off of the thing.
And like her dad's giving her a hug.
I'm like, man, I fucked this up more than I could possibly imagine.
Yeah. Like that's the sort of thing where it's like, you know, you should know that.
Like that's that would be good to know.
Yeah. No, it's terrifying.
And I find Subnautica terrifying and uncomfortable for the same reason.
Well, you would. And especially especially when you go underwater.
It's like you can see the mask.
Yeah. It's like people are like, hey, you were trying VR.
It's like, fucking are you serious?
No. No I'm not going to do that That's not going to be a part of my thing I actually think I'm getting Ready to go back into Atlas Reactor I feel like I can come back to Monster Hunter at pretty much any time Yeah you won't though No I don't know There's a pretty solid group of people Who are ready to have somebody else in there There's a group parallel to ours That has a spot I like it way more than you For me, not playing it It was hard. Hmm.
So I could still do it.
Yeah. But the issue, which is kind of unconscionable, actually, is that apparently there's still multiplayer shit.
Oh, on Xbox? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, the thing like— That's why I want to play it, because that's the most powerful machine.
Right. Well, yeah, that's what I said.
I was like, if I'm ever going to play a third -party game from now on, it's going to be on this.
That's where you're going to do it.
Yeah. Every time. But you can't actually play it together.
You have to play it alone so that you can play it together.
Like, it's the stupidest multiplayer system I've ever seen.
You have to kind of catch up.
Yeah, it's like if you do the mission alone, then you can come back and do it as a friend.
No, no, it's okay. I figured out how that works.
You just have to go in and then come back out.
I wish I was joking.
Yeah, no, that's stupid.
Well, it's just weird. If I could, I think that honestly, if we could have experienced those together, it would have been different.
But I found myself every night playing alone because the multiplayer didn't work and I had to do it by myself before I could play it with you.
Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's not gonna...
That's not gonna work.
That's not gonna work for today's Kruhliks.
We're just counting the days until Sea of Thieves at this point, like in my house.
Honestly, it's March, right?
Yeah, it's soon. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm ready. I think that that is gonna be ultra fun.
I mean, the truth, right, is that it's gonna be you and the fam Yeah.
during the day, but then at night...
Pirate night! You know what I mean?
Yeah. Once the kids go to bed...
Yeah. that's when we get up to the real pirate shit.
It's fun as hell. But for me, it's sort of like, there's so many, like I said in the post, there's so many games it could be.
There's so many games it could be.
If we could put two ships out there, things change very quickly.
Yeah. Well, and I haven't gone to look at all of it, but they announced a bunch of new content for it this morning.
They're saying that there's pets, there's parrots you can get, there's a kraken boss.
Can you have sex with the parrots?
Yeah, they said you can fuck the parrots.
Wow. Yeah, it's all in there.
Just go read it on their website.
About the parrot fucking.
Oh, man. No, I don't think you can fuck them.
Well, listen, that's a missed opportunity.
Yeah. A Kraken boss.
Yeah, I want to roll around in this boat.
You know what I mean?
I guess there's ghost ships?
Okay, this was my fantasy.
Yeah. I don't know, man.
I think that that game is going to be huge.
Huge. Oh man, I gotta find out more of this stuff.
I don't have time to do it right now.
No, I figured once we wrote the stupid comic strip we have to make, I was gonna go feast on all that news.
It's real torment, but I'm seeing a lot of really badass character customization art and equipment, too.
Yeah. Oh, jeez. I love that the low -end specs, the low -end settings, are called Cursed.
That brings me joy.
I'm not gonna buy it on PC because that's not gonna be where you guys play it, but I'm going to own it automatically because of cross -play.
So I'll definitely go in and look, because I suspect it's going to look pretty fucking sick.
But you could play with this from the PC, couldn't you?
I wonder. Because some of the games that have cross -buy don't necessarily have cross -multiplayer, but holy shit, dude, I would do that in a heartbeat.
Yeah. Like, that is, like, why wouldn't it work that way?
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, that's all we want right now.
So we're basically just playing Overwatch. I got my Golden Gun.
Damn. That's how much I've been playing.
Well, I was just going to say that's a fucking...
Yeah, I got it for Pharah.
That's a real... That's a heap.
Oh, also, there was a lot of great Pharah play.
Yes. Jesus. Spryker and some of those guys.
Jesus. Well, there's a lot of great Pharah duels.
Yeah, I was talking to Amy.
So they're playing their own game up here.
Oh, yeah, with their mercy.
And I was like, it must be easier to feather the jets on the PC because these guys are never landing.
Oh, no, they don't have to.
And Amy's like, no. their children with the reflexes of a 16 year old and they're all on Adderall.
Is that true? That's what I said.
I said, shut up. That's not true.
But then she linked me to a bunch of articles and apparently it's like a performance enhancing drug for these kids and it's not currently banned.
And so they're all just fucking hopped up on it.
Well, that explains everything.
Yeah. When they get back out on their stream, they're all strung out.
Yeah. Their teeth are chattering.
Yeah, they They're taking Adderall for those reflexes, I guess.
I'm not even sure. I think if I took Adderall, I don't think anything would happen.
I mean, I don't think those pathways...
I don't think those receptors are there.
I don't think those pathways exist. Not in my brain.
Yeah, she's like, no, you are a 40 -year -old.
You just can't play it as well as these kids.
You don't have the ability.
That's really cruel, but probably true.
I'm not opposed to the possibility, certainly, if I watch high -level StarCraft play where your inputs are measured in APM.
What the hell is APM?
Well, it's like actions per minute.
Oh, Jesus. No. But listen, I wasn't good at that when I was 20.
No. We would set up two Terran armies against one easy Zerg and still lose.
And still lose. Yeah, we just did it for fun.
Yeah, exactly. But that was where we tapped out.
Yeah. and then sometimes we would try to play multiplayer against another team of two people ugh do you remember?
I remember it losing well definitely you remember losing but it's just like because you'd always be like okay I'm gonna take my base to your base and we would always set up in the same spot no we were not good at it no but also we'd go and do that and so we'd set up the like the the room name we were like really trying to get him it's like get the fuck in here yeah yeah it's like youth yeah I saw a really interesting post on reddit last night about that.
How, you know, back in the 90s, if you wanted to play multiplayer, you said, okay, hey, I'm...
Well, I'm a hardcore gamer.
I want to play with other people who are fucking intense.
So I'm going to go to this server.
I'm a stoner. I just want to fuck around.
I'm going to go to this server where we just play this map over and over again.
Well, it depends. Basically, you had servers that would accommodate five or six different types of gamers.
and now with something like overwatch it's all yellow everybody goes into the same funnel well exactly and it's all based on some stat i mean listen and you can tell because you know if i'm playing ranked at night and i'm hearing these voices and one guy's like who the fuck is going fair they have three hitscan players and the other guy's like what are you talking about man like no those people should not be well no and it would indicate it would indicate it in the name of the server generally yeah exactly right but that's when the community that's when the community had that stuff right it was theirs
i mean matchmaking if i remember correctly that was a halo invention that's the first time i can remember it i remember being like what i'm being put into a game like but i actually talked to somebody like way way back in the day about like halo 2 yeah and they were like i mean they thought matchmaking was a path for the discriminating stoner because you you hit one button and then you just you're just on the ride for the rest of the night right but there's another there's a whole other set of virtues that win loss and personal performance aren't sufficient enough to gauge well to gauge yeah right
it'd be like honestly it's probably something like a dating profile yeah the truth is like here's some statistics likes about me here is a picture of me yeah and it's like that's gonna work sometimes yeah but sometimes but but there's other stuff like pheromones and like how a person smells.
Yeah. And it's like, that's going to be a deal breaker.
Even if they're all the rest of this stuff seems like it works.
Right. And then you got to fucking hang out with this person.
Well, then you have to try to succeed with this person.
I don't know. I'm sure, I'm sure it's awesome for some people, but that sounds like so much fucking work.
I've really been enjoying the people I've been meeting.
Like, no, I've been playing like, Like, because Kara will not expose herself to it.
And that is to her credit.
Yeah, and I, you know, I don't blame her at all.
But she'll play with you, but not in there.
Right. So you're just jabbering to these silent people the whole time?
Great. Or she goes to bed, and then I jump on and do competitive, and I do the voice.
Well, see, you remember, I do the voice sounds like you're making a voice.
I do the voice. Yeah.
But it's like, for me, like, obviously Xbox got a reputation.
Yeah. And there's definitely people like that.
but the fact of the matter is is it wasn't actually like that all the time no some of the time it's really good like honestly warrior the reality is that i'm sure you still have people in your friends yeah from mech warrior oh for sure or mech assault mech assault it's like most of the people i meet are just sad because they're losing all the time like they're just hey man no it was a good one you know we tried that's the way it goes it's been my whole night like everybody's just commiserating like it's a shitty night right but i i meet very few absolute dicks yeah it's interesting absolutely
yeah and that's on what platform that's on the x that's on ps4 actually yeah i was gonna say because for a long time i think it was just the the way that the cultures were different yeah because one of them included a microphone with multiplayer and one of them yeah didn't and obviously they allowed you to use your own thing but didn't come included right or it was a weird that weird little especially for the launch of the ps4 that weird like single strand like hair thin like angel hair pasta blue thing no and i think that those cultures just they have things that are distinct about each of them
yeah it's my suspicion that the voice adoption is much higher it seems like yeah usually a lot of games no one's talking and when there are it's usually two or three people yeah yeah yeah it's gonna be a percentage yeah well here we should figure out something to do in here so you've been so you've been talking to people online and they've been cool uh sometimes yeah and that's interesting and i've been able to diffuse some jerks too really well yeah but that's your midi game right that's that's what you do i don't know yeah i've been i've been enjoying it well i think there's i think we can get in on these
midnight these sensual midnight meetings did you see that fucking screenshot i tweeted of the symmetra who put her teleporter right outside the spawn and then just sat down?
No. I saw the picture, but I didn't understand why you were mad.
Oh. Like I don't play Symmetra and I don't really play much Overwatch these days.
So, Symmetra's super, her teleporter, generally, you know, the one is in the spawn room, and you go through it and you expect to come out, hopefully by the point.
Oh my god, she put it outside the door?
She put it outside the spawn room and then she used her emote where she sits down in a chair and she just sat in front of it.
So everyone just comes out of it, and you're still in the spawn, and then she's sitting there.
It's an interview? I guess.
Thank you for coming.
That's why I was mad.
Okay, that makes perfect sense.
I would be mad too.
I would be mad too.
Why are you mad? Tell them why you're mad.
I'm in it for the culture, you know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Waiting for piracy.
Can you fuck these parrots?
Is that part of it?
Pirate. It could be like, you know, Gabe is obsessed with the Overwatch League, right?
And it's like, maybe he tries taking Adderall, whatever it does to him, or he tries taking something.
My friend Amy said that the reason these guys are better than me is because they're super high.
They're all hopped up on drugs.
Yeah, but that would also explain the hyper -competitive behavior.
Like, how many of the people on this service are on Adderall?
Yeah. But also, why isn't that illegal?
Right? Why isn't that—is it not a prescription drug?
Well, they're all—the article I read said that most of them are taking it for ADD.
They're all saying that they just have ADD, which, you know— Oh, there you go.
Maybe they do. That might also be true, but the whole idea is that if you have ADD, the drug interaction is different.
Right. It wouldn't be a performance -enhancing drug necessarily for those guys if they— no but they go in and they're like yeah they would not want to take it yeah exactly okay so but it's not listen these days especially it's not hard to say oh yeah i've got the adhd yeah but yeah if or if he's talking to taiko he's like i want to play overwatch on the pc i think it must be easier to feather ferris jets because these overwatch players i watch they never land no it must it must be easier on the pc well i don't i don't think that's it no i think i mean With the mouse button, you must be able to
click it fast or something.
No. No, they're 16 years old, and you are a 40 -year -old man.
You are a 40 -year -old, and they are 16 -year -olds on Adderall.
On Adderall. They have entered a shamanic state of precognition.
Yeah. I want to start playing Overwatch on the PC.
These pro -Farah players never touch the ground.
It must just be easier on the PC.
Maybe with the mouse button.
It's easier to feather the jets with the mouse.
That must be it. He's a little desperate, maybe.
Yeah, exactly. Shh.
Ah, shh. No, shh. That's got to be it.
Any other explanation is unthinkable.
What else could it be?
I'll tell you what it is.
you're a 40 -year -old man and there's 16 -year -old kids hopped up on Adderall, juiced up, goosed, goosed on Adderall.
No, I'll tell you what it is.
You're a 40 -year -old man.
400 years ago, you'd already be dead.
They had to cut to commercial last week because a kid's eyeballs The balls vibrated out of his skull.
He chased them for 20 minutes.
He still won the match. Our 20 -year -olds.
Now, Adderall is spelled in a specific way.
There we go. Adderall.
There we go. There's no O.
Really? Adderall. And goosed on Adderall until they reach a shamanic precognitive state.
What if I got a keyboard like they have?
But what if I got one of the keyboards they advertise?
What if I got one of the keyboards they advertise?
I don't know. I mean, I guess maybe.
I don't think that's it.
I don't think that's it.
Maybe I should buy one of the keyboards.
They advertise. Maybe I should buy one of the keyboards where it's the advertised between matches.
Yeah, that'll do it.
Yeah, it's like, see if Razer makes something.
Like, something that would actually, like, help.
Yeah. Because we already did, you already knit me a coffin.
Like, this idea that, yeah.
See if Razer makes a Chroma Mausoleum.
What you need is the Razer Time Machine.
Yeah, no, what you need is the Razer Time Machine.
I love it. Oh, when I cast the pot, it's like I cast the rod.
keeping it hard like a motherfucker gas rabbi.
I'm really cod, today's fresh catch. I mean a podcast, something about nets.
Yes, it gets bitter when it's wetter.
I'm fettered by my fish gear, catch and release.
Get in that crease when my fish near.
Talk about a plant best laid off that stray.
And yes, I crave that tuna with his peck fence blade.
But while I'm glistening from the whole sea, you better listen in to TLC.
I got that, I got that wild cod salmon. It's tender and it's moist. Downloadable content, a podcast of choice.
Thank you.
