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From the Boston Globe and PRX, this is Love Letters.
I'm Meredith Goldstein.
Books can be dangerous to certain kinds of people.
They're dangerous to people who are scared of having their assumptions challenged.
Dangerous to people fearful of new ideas and new voices.
Dangerous to people who are so committed to their own way of being that they can't possibly contemplate any other.
It's this false sense of danger that has sparked book bans in more than 40 states over the past few years.
The organization PEN America documented more than 4300 instances of books being banned in public school classrooms and libraries during the second half of 2023.
Around the country, efforts to ban specific books or even whole categories of books are on the rise.
Well, we want to turn now to the sharp rise in book bans in America's schools and libraries.
A recent study found hundreds of books mostly focused on LGBTQ themes or racial issues have now been forbidden across the country.
As a journalist and author, I find all of this very dismaying, especially because so many of these acts of censorship seek to quash books from voices that historically, have been shut out of the public dialogue.
Notably PEN America found that the authors most frequently targeted are women, people of color, LGBTQ or some combination.
This isn't just theoretical to me either.
Two people who have been on this podcast have had books banned.
One is my friend Sarah Farazan, who appeared on season two of Love Letters.
She's the one who played Wing Woman. as we took single Erin to a bar.
Her young adult books have been banned.
So have YA books by my friend Katie Cotugno, who was also on season two.
Both Sarah and Katie have written stories packed with wonderful lessons and new ways to see the world.
It's horrible to think about their titles being kept from a library shelf.
Here's what I know.
I know books can help.
Books can inspire.
Books can move.
Books can light a path forward when you may not see one.
I'm in my mid 40s and I still rely on books that I read as a kid, like Bridge to Terabithia, which taught me how to deal with grief, and The Phantom Tollbooth, which taught me how to deal with boredom.
Books show you that you're not alone, that other people out there know exactly how you feel, that they see you.
You know who understands this as well as anyone?
The students and grown-ups at 826, the writing and publishing organization co-founded in San Francisco by author Dave Eggers in 2002.
Over the past two decades, 826 chapters around the country have helped students from marginalized communities express themselves through stories essays, poetry and more.
I've been involved with the Boston chapter of 826 for many years.
And I just wrote the foreword for a new book published by 826 Boston.
That is very much up my alley as an advice columnist.
It's called What If the World Needs You?
Advice and Life Lessons from 826 Boston Students.
The book is a collection of stories poetry letters, lists and essays by students from first through 12th grade, all written with the aim of helping other people.
And because this season has been all about help for our final episode, I wanted to hear from these smart young people about how they get help from books and how we can all learn life lessons through stories.
So I sat down with three members of the book's editorial board sixth graders Mariam Herrera and Cameron Cappadagli, and seventh grader EG.
Woodhams.
We met on an afternoon of tutoring and mentoring at 826 Boston's headquarters, which sits on a busy corner in the city's Roxbury neighborhood.
Above the door is a big playful sign that reads, Greater Boston Bigfoot Research Institute.
We started by talking about the genesis of the book and how they came up with the title.
The title of this book is What If the World Needs You?
And I wonder if you know where that title came from and also just what it means to you.
I really like the title.
I like helped choose it.
This is Miriam.
She's 12 years old, likes to write poetry, and participates in Model UN.
I think it kind of like means that like, Like.
If you weren't there, I think everyone's life would be different.
You've changed someone's life, at least one person, but multiple people.
So like some people actually need you.
There are three options and we all voted on what the title would be.
And I was a big rooter for this title, because what if the world needs you is really like it feels very nice.
And I don't know, it's nice to be told that the world needs you.
That's E.G.
They're 13 and enjoy writing stories and poems.
What are some of the themes of the book?
What are the things it can teach us about through stories?
My specific story was telling you that it's okay to ask for help if you need it.
And there are lots of other stories like that.
Or it's okay to be different from other people, stuff like that.
It's like little but also big things that can help.
E.G., Cameron, and Miriam all contributed pieces to the book.
I asked each of them to read a bit of theirs.
Here's an excerpt of E.G.'
's story, which is called Dear Diary.
My English teacher sat down next to me and asked me what my next story would be.
I told him it's the story of a very dumb boy who doesn't understand the meaning of joy.
His eyebrows jumped and he said, Aiden, what is going on inside your head?
I shrugged and tried to smile, but the look on his face lasted more than a while.
Do you need help in school, young man?
Because if you do, I can help you understand.
I almost shook my head and told him no, but something stopped me and I want to know how this man who teaches me English can lean down and grant me my one wish.
There's a greater theme in this book besides advising of belonging.
And I just wonder if part of the purpose of this book is to make people feel like they're part of something.
Because that's how it felt to me.
I think definitely the title especially kind of gives you a sense of belonging.
Like, what if the world needs you?
That feels welcoming and like you have a sense of belonging.
And also a lot of...
At least the stories I read, they did have a sense of, you belong.
And I feel like that's also a big struggle that kids have feeling that they don't belong with their friends.
Sometimes you feel like you don't belong.
But it's also good to remember that you're not going to be exactly the same as someone else.
This is Mariam again.
Because everyone's different.
No one's born just the same.
A lot of people have similarities, but no one's going to be exactly the same.
That's basically what Miriam's piece for the book is about.
It's a short letter called Dear Reader.
Here she is reading it.
Dear Reader, as you read, please stay key to this vice.
Sometimes I find that, like the best advice is when people aren't telling you what to do, but they're asking questions and they make you come up with the answer.
Is that something you've seen too, and do have people in your life who make you figure it out yourself.
My therapist will often be like, I'll be like, so what do I do?
And she's just like, I don't know, what do you do?
And I'll be like, because that would make me really mad, but not like genuine anger, more like I don't know.
I like it because
It can be annoying, but it also kind of helps.
It's not just somebody like demanding you do this and that and like telling you what to do.
It's more of them like guiding you towards what you really know you want to do.
Sometimes I try looking for something and it's like in plain sight, but I don't see it.
And I always go to someone and I'm like, where is it?
And they're like, It's in plain sight.
Just find it.
That's Cameron.
He's 12 years old and likes to write short stories.
Here he is reading his piece for the book, which is called A Successful Life.
If you're in a class, you will pass school education and become a part of a good situation.
If you are kind, you will find friends.
If you Are a scholar, you will earn a dollar or many in your career.
You are clear as glass, but beware.
Don't throw stones from a house you can't repair.
Always do the right thing when no one is looking.
Make sure you think twice when you're about to do something bad.
Good luck with your life.
I asked EG Miriam and Cameron to talk about how they draw lessons from books they read, especially fiction.
Sometimes when we read fiction, we're just thinking about it like, oh, we're reading a story.
We're not there to learn.
Can you talk about how fiction poems, some of these types of writing that we don't really think of as advice writing, can teach you a lesson?
When I... especially my little brother, he'll be reading kids' stories.
And I'll see all of these lessons in the stories that I'll be like oh, they're trying to teach kids these things.
But my little brother never notices them.
And I've realized that they're kind of like it's not just going out and telling kids this is this way.
It's giving them a story to keep their mind entertained and still teaching them a lesson without them really knowing it.
So i think it's important if they're reading books like dog man, which i, my little brother loves to read, and there's so many lessons like if you make a mistake, you can be forgiven and everybody deserves a say and stuff like that, i think it's really important.
And even though that it's not like saying it flat out, the kids get the message.
Wait, i don't know dog man.
Am i the only person who doesn't know dog man?
I love Dog Man.
What's Dog Man?
It was made by the same guy who wrote Captain Underpants.
Captain Underpants, I know.
Yeah, I think everybody knows Captain Underpants, but Dog Man is a million times better.
I read those books when I was a kid, and I love them.
Okay.
What about you two?
I think it's better when it's hidden in the story, because if it was just a guidebook that's a little bit boring but also like you might not want to listen to it.
Cause I'm just like telling you how to live your life.
But if it's more kind of like teaching you a lesson, that's like kind of hidden, you won't like, sometimes when you're younger you won't exactly know that it's a lesson, but like it kind of just like goes into your brain and you like start like a little bit implementing that in your life.
I love that.
And you, all of you, have brought up this idea of getting these secret lessons.
As you read in a different format
When you think of books that changed your life, like, and it doesn't have to be a full book.
It can be a, story.
It could even, frankly, be TV because somebody's writing that too, right?
So what are some of the titles and works you think of where you may have learned lessons without even knowing it at the time?
I read this book called Gregor the Overlander.
What's it about?
This kid who doesn't pay attention and doesn't do as he's told and gets sucked into the underland.
Whoa.
Yeah, where all these humans, their skin has turned white and they've adapted to the underworld, where there's no light and there are a bunch of giant creatures.
Recently, I actually read this book.
It was called The Dam Keepers.
It kind of taught you that you're never alone, even if you think you're alone, that your friends will always be there for you.
Also, the book was actually really sad, though.
Well...
But sometimes those are the most important, right?
Like some of the saddest books have taught me the most about how to handle sadness.
I don't know.
Do you remember what it's about?
Like the sort of plot stuff?
It starts off with this little pig and he's like the dam keeper.
So there's like a dam at the edge of his town because there's like huge fog that like tries to like come over but the dam like resists it.
And then, like it's about, like him, like going on an adventure to like find his father.
Thank you to the three of you for reading and writing and giving me book recommendations and writing things that gave me secret advice and not so secret advice.
Thank you, bye.
Thanks so much for giving me this opportunity.
I'm going to close this part of the show by sharing one more piece from the book by students of 826 boston.
This is a professional reading of a poem called There Was a Time When I Was Feeling I Had to Mature, by 16-year-old Solis Blue.
There was a time when I was feeling I had to mature.
The day that marked my 16th year of being alive.
Climbing the mountain of growth as the flower of childhood no longer bloomed.
Voices around me singing like the whistle of birds, jogging the memory of childhood that felt like it was so long ago.
But also knowing that the best part of my life hasn't started yet.
My mom being emotional, knowing that I am growing up.
As the tears of happiness slowly went down her cheeks. but also happy because she got to witness it.
Realizing that I am two years away from being an adult, but also being aware that I'm still a kid at heart.
Knowing that watching cartoons and making childish jokes will always be me.
Hoping that my birthday wish of accomplishing all of my goals will come true.
Blowing out my candles on the whipped vanilla cake for the 16th time in my life.
As a feeling of joy went over me.
Looking over, seeing my dad wearing a proud smile on his face, making me over the moon happy, taking a bite out of the cake, seeing my baby cousin also enjoying herself.
All I could think about rate of a year.
This will be as long as I stay focused on my journey of life and be myself.
You can learn more about the new book by 826 Boston, What If the World Needs You, at 826boston.org.
When we come back, my producers surprise me with a very sweet take on this season's help theme.
That's after the break.
Uncommon Goods has actually been a go-to for me, especially for friends who need something crafty and special.
I bought one friend a succulent clay craft kit to work on while he was recovering from a surgery, and I bought another friend a DIY Dream Library bookend kit to build when she had to be housebound for a bit.
Uncommon Goods really has something for everyone.
Parents, kids, teens, foodies, sports fans, gardeners, bookworms, you name it.
Shopping there feels like less of a chore and more of a treasure hunt.
And I love that when you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting small businesses and independent artists.
So shop early, have fun, and cross some names off your list today.
To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash loveletters.
That's uncommongoods.com slash loveletters for 15% off.
Don't miss out on this limited time offer.
Uncommon Goods.
We're all out of the ordinary.
There's a battle playing out right now over who should control American universities.
We're going to bankrupt these universities.
In season one, we were guessing what was to come.
Now, we know.
We want nothing less than $500 million from Harvard.
From the Boston Globe and on the media, it's season two of The Harvard Plan.
This time, it really is personal.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Okay, we're back.
I want to say that this season of the podcast has really stuck with me.
I knew it would be upbeat because we asked for stories about people finding help.
For me, I think a lot about Sophia's story about getting out of an abusive marriage.
She told me that help doesn't have to be reciprocal.
It is not a point system.
She helped me figure out that someone might help me and I'll wind up helping someone else.
I'm reflecting too on on Krista's episode about sex therapy and how doing that work professionally changed a part of her life that has nothing to do with sex.
I feel like people who grew up talking about uncomfortable things in therapy often assume they know all of the answers.
But we don't.
Sometimes we're the exact people who are not taking our own advice.
Oh, and Ray, our season premiere.
Hearing from Ray and their mentor, Maria, taught me things about how to be a better helper to the younger people in my life. love to know what you got out of this season which stories resonated with you and why please call us at our new number and tell us what stories and episodes are on your mind the number is 401-484-0590 401-484-0590 the messages can be anonymous i'd love to hear what you think now for a self-indulgent moment to truly close out the season A few months ago, I got a text from my friend Jen.
She said, oh, so sorry I'm so late with my story for the podcast.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
What story?
And then she wrote back, oh no, I think I'm spoiling a surprise.
Please forget I sent this message.
Very helpful, Jen.
So I come to find out that my own producers, specifically Jesse Remedios, had planned a surprise for me.
That, to end this season about finding relationship help, he would compile recordings from people in my personal life whom I've helped over the years.
He knows I would never condone this because it is very mortifying.
But he and Scott Hellman put a bunch of these stories together fully behind my back.
And for the sake of it being kind of a surprise, they didn't let me listen to it until now, as I record this.
But I will not introduce it because, once again, this was not my idea, which means I'm bringing on Scott Hellman, whose executive produced Love Letters for nine seasons.
Scott, you have to do this.
Why do I have to do it?
First of all because actually I'm beginning to think that Jen ruined the surprise on purpose, because she knows I hate surprises.
One time my late mother threw me a surprise party.
And on the way there she realized how upset I would be and drove me around in like 10 circles so I could prepare myself for 15 minutes before getting there.
I'm a little worried about that because I do think that I know that you don't like surprises.
And yet this is such a nice thing that Jesse came up with to have all these people in your life reflect on surprises.
All the way as big and small that you have helped them.
And it just seems so fitting that we end the season that way.
So at the risk of drawing your ire, it felt worth doing.
And I hope you're going to really like what we got.
One of the only reasons I'm allowing this, by the way, is that after nine seasons of executive producing this show, you are moving on to a very cool job.
And I just also want to say thank you for helping me.
So now we have like a meta self-indulgent group circle of thanks going on.
That is like probably truly gross but hopefully feel good for people listening because you have truly helped shape the tone and wonderfulness of the show.
And I will carry that with me as we move on.
Well, thank you for that.
It's been a pleasure to work on the show with you.
I think we've done some really great seasons, this one being one of my favorites so far.
And I'm really going to miss working on the show and working with you so closely, but I'm proud of what we did.
And I know that you'll Make it great without me.
You don't need me.
I don't really think you need me for anything.
See how quickly I can deflect, though?
We can both deflect from taking compliments.
So anyway, if you want to set this up, I'm going to just hide under my desk and try to learn how to hear nice things without feeling squirmy.
Okay, best of luck with that.
So this is a collection of tape and voice memos from some of the people in your life, some of your closest friends, a family member, a colleague.
Or two, we're going to hear from 10 people all together.
We're going to start with our social media manager, Maddie Mortel, who's going to tell a story about coming to you once in a total panic about watching Jeopardy.
All right, here's Maddie.
I've been working with Meredith for about three years now and I am going to tell you a story about a time Meredith helped me through a dating crisis.
One of the key things to know about me is that I'm an avid Jeopardy fan.
I've watched Jeopardy religiously since I was a child.
It started as a thing that I watched with my grandparents every day, and then continued into my adult life.
So a few years back, I made a routine with my roommates to watch the show every single night on cable.
It brought us closer as friends.
We would text each other from our rooms, which was kind of silly instead of like calling out.
But we'd text each other like, hey, you have 10 minutes, like the show is going to be on.
Not to toot my own horn, but like I'm very good at Jeopardy.
During this period of time, I found out that someone from my past who had hurt me kind of in a really intimate way was going to be on Jeopardy.
And I think that hurt for two reasons.
One, because that's my like dream.
So watching someone achieve your goal hurts sometimes.
And it was also important to me.
I didn't want to sacrifice my routine, my wholesome bonding time with my roommates.
But I didn't want to hurt myself by sitting through something or hearing someone's voice.
That would set me off.
So in a crisis, I know that Meredith is someone that people constantly go to.
And I texted her.
Her advice surprised me because...
It was, well, okay, you can watch it or you cannot watch it.
But if you do watch it, what if they do badly?
It may be healing for you.
Or you can choose to not watch it and sacrifice my routine for like a day.
It kind of really helped me reframe my panicked state.
It no longer was like, oh my God, this is happening and I don't have control over it.
It was you have options.
And one of those options that I probably would not have thought for myself is how it may feel satisfying to root against someone.
And I want to add that that is very, very out of character for someone like me.
I am someone who is overly thinking about others and others' feelings, and how I'm perceived and how my feelings change affect other people's feelings.
So this was different for me.
So actually, I kind of compromised.
My roommates watched it.
They were all in the living room.
I went to the kitchen and I was like making dinner, but I could like hear it.
I could hear the TV.
I could hear like the game.
I was still shouting out answers, but I was like in the kitchen.
And then what happened was she did bad.
I did feel satisfied and like healed.
Looking back at this now, I am definitely able to laugh at myself and think that it's a little silly to go into a panic state over a half an hour TV show that I'd watched every night.
But it felt very real and big to me in the moment.
And Meredith, kind of immediately validating my feelings in that moment, was really healing and allowed us to get through it together in a way that I felt like I kind of had my own personal love letter.
This is Danielle.
I've known Meredith since college.
She's been there with me through all my highs and lows, and I mean everything.
Dating, breakups, career changes, marriage, kids, infertility, everything.
Meredith is definitely on my crisis triage team.
I was on my way to a date and I accidentally butt-dialed my father while I was on the T and all he heard were these whooshing sounds and muffled voices.
So naturally, he thought I had been abducted.
My dad called my sister, who called Meredith.
No one knew where I was, so they went to my condo, where I'd left a huge mess, as I was getting ready in a rush and, like my bags on the floor, all my stuffs dumped out all over the counter.
Basically my place looked like it had been ransacked.
My sister was like, maybe she really was kidnapped.
Meredith and my sister both called and texted me a dozen times.
And then they eventually found out through a work colleague that I was on a date.
So they ordered pizza and waited for me to get home.
And of course, I had no idea that any of this was happening.
But when I got home, we laughed so hard about the whole thing.
And it just felt so good at the time to come home to my sister, Meredith, and pizza.
I have this dollhouse that my mom made for me when I was a little girl.
It's really important to me.
My mom built it from a kit.
She painted and personalized it.
And I spent many years as a kid collecting strange objects for it.
I had this tiny little can of oatmeal and a little teeny tiny coffee mug with my name on it and this family of weird off-brand dolls.
And as I got older, the dollhouse was relegated to my parents' basement.
And then eventually they moved and the dollhouse was put in a storage unit.
I moved across the country.
My intention was to ship the dollhouse so that someday if I had kids, I would be able to pass it on.
But the dollhouse was so huge and so difficult and expensive to ship that I didn't know what to do with it.
I kind of panicked.
I didn't want to get rid of it.
I didn't know how I could keep it.
Enter Meredith Goldstein, who very generously offered to keep it in her basement.
At first, we thought it would be temporary, but now at this point, it's been several years.
So I have taken to sending her strange objects over the years.
I sent her a little teeny tiny roll of toilet paper.
I sent her a really small but readable copy of the Kama Sutra that some weird person on Etsy made.
You can actually read it with a magnifying glass.
It's wild.
I think she really has grown to enjoy it and cherish the dollhouse the same way that I have, which to me is just an act of unbelievable generosity and kind of hilarious support, which is the kind of friend that I think Meredith is.
She'll take your weird, creepy objects into her home and love them as her own.
A big part of Being a friend for Meredith, not for me, is to help or be helpful.
For instance, she shares her sign-ins for some of the streaming services with me.
She doesn't have to do that.
The other thing is she always is ready with a tissue.
They're often used tissues, but she always has one.
More seriously, when I went through some stuff with my health, we were like a buddy movie where I was the sad older buddy and she was the cheerleading younger buddy, the sort of rock solid sensible, pep talk-ing younger buddy.
And I found that to be helpful.
And that has only continued over time.
It's actually hard to think of something Meredith hasn't helped me with during our friendships.
We spent our 20s and 30s living our lives very differently from many of our friends who were off, getting married and having kids.
And for a long time I was framing this as opting out of something or not allowing certain traditions to define my relationship.
But over time, Meredith has helped me realize that I was actually opting into the things that made my life meaningful.
For the last 20 years, I've been making a choice every day to be in a relationship with someone who makes me happy.
No marriage, no kids.
And it's amazing.
And by the way, Meredith was the one who introduced us.
So I guess that was a huge help too.
I met Meredith in college and we were friendly, but not close.
We reconnected years later.
We were both living in Boston.
And then my husband left me suddenly right after the birth of our daughter.
Life was a total chaotic mess, and Meredith started coming over each week.
She would bring me snacks and we'd watch the vampire diaries.
She'd brave my house despite my shedding dog and her intense allergies.
And it just was the most generous, wonderful thing she could have done, because it really took my mind off of everything else and made me feel normal again.
Don't think I've ever felt closer to her than I did in 2016 when we attended a private screening of Manchester by the Sea at the Toronto Film Festival.
If you've seen the movie you know it's a tragedy, and not just any tragedy, but the kind that involves children.
So when the movie ended and the lights came up, everyone was crying, like dozens of people sniffling and sharing Kleenex.
Well, everyone except me and Meredith.
We just looked at each other dry eyed and shrugged.
We're terrible, terrible people, she said to me then.
I agreed.
Complete monsters, I think I said, shaking my head.
And I might have even believed that if it wasn't for the fact that being aligned with Meredith on anything gives you permission.
She's so real, so OK with ignoring all the filters you've been trained to apply.
You just give into it.
And if you're like me, it's no small thing to have someone validating your right to go against the grain.
Say the quiet part out loud.
Make no apologies for withholding your tears, your unearned tears, even if it's just a stupid Casey Affleck movie.
I am so, so grateful that Meredith Goldstein is my sister.
Lately, I have been craving the feeling of a home that is like family, right?
And Meredith just welcomes me in.
Meredith has created a home and community, and I am so grateful to be a part of that.
By her just saying, hey, the door is always open, that is one of the most helpful things.
Not once, but twice.
Meredith made the short walk from her desk to mine, usually with Skittles in hand, to let me know she'd gotten a letter from someone connected to me.
The first one was my mother.
She wanted to know what she should do with the expensive family portrait taken on scenic Cape Cod with all of us in our matching outfits.
It didn't feel right above the fireplace after the divorce.
Should she contact the photographer and ask her to watercolor over her ex-husband?
Should she try to sell it at a consignment shop and see if there's a market for photos of someone else's family?
I thanked Meredith for letting me know and excused myself to call my mother and tell her these aren't real problems.
Fast forward to a few months ago.
I get a call from Meredith and she's on a voyage 40 minutes south of the city to speak at the senior center where my mom volunteers.
As if this weren't enough of a favor, she's asking what snacks my mom likes, so that she doesn't show up empty-handed.
She is not a hugger, but she does appreciate people, not through mushy words or hugging, but with action.
And she does this for everyone.
She's given me tons of good advice over the years, and she's so good to my daughter.
I hope I'll be able to repay her generosity and I hope she knows the difference that she has made in my life.
I am very lucky to have my friends, and if I listed all the ways they helped me, it would go on forever.
So if we've learned anything, tell everybody how great they are.
I think that's a big help.
Now I'm going to go off and cry somewhere and see you all next season.
I'm grateful for you too.
Thank you to Maddie Mortel, Janice Page, Sarah Faith Alterman, Mark Shanahan, Jen Abelson, Sarah Farazan, Danielle Kost, Lauren Iacono, Devin Smith and Brett Goldstein.
Love Letters is a production of the Boston Globe and PRX.
Today's episode was produced by Jesse Remedios and Scott Hellman.
Ned Porter does our audio mixing, sound design, and mastering.
Maddie Mortel does our audience engagement.
Special thanks to Linda Henry.
Our music is from APM.
Audio recording of the poem.
There Was a Time When I Was Feeling I Had to Mature, courtesy of the Stories Aloud program from children's publishing company Nosy Crow.
Find them online at nosycrow.us or on Instagram at nosycrowus.
Remember, Love Letters is also an advice column, so send your question to loveletters at boston.com.
Find episode transcripts and more Love Letters content at loveletters.show.
We were like, wow, maybe she's been abducted and murdered.
And then I was like, is anybody hungry?
It was not that when she was being generous.
I'm Meredith Goldstein.
Thanks for listening.
