Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cress Podcast. I'm G-Zoo and I'm Crystal.
We're back with some life updates and personally my life updates are more like crises.
Same and I don't know what it is about this year but I feel like now that we've wrapped up Q1 not to go all corporate.
But this year just feels a little bit different to me. I don't know if it's our age or just how many years it's been since we've left high school or things like that.
But I just feel so many things all the time.
Oh my god, yeah, I totally agree. My theory right now, which kind of ties into my crisis, is that we're kind of at the age where no one needs to tell us what to do anymore.
And so we don't know.
Like we're kind of just feeling around and we're like, oh shoot, life is different now.
We don't just do whatever society tells us anymore.
We have much more freedom. So that's kind of how I've been feeling lately.
I'm trying to like lead my most authentic life and basically do things that I want to do.
And I realized that our whole life leading up to early to mid 20s.
A lot of it is like kind of predetermined as in our parents wanted us to go to school, you know, go to college, get a degree, generally us and our friends followed that path and then you know, get a job.
And then after that, it's like, okay, now I don't know what to do anymore.
Yeah, it's kind of interesting because I know a couple of episodes ago, we talked about how everyone's past kind of diverging off in our mid 20s gives us the empowerment and the ability to be really appreciating our own lives and not comparing ourselves to others.
But I do feel like the opposite end of that spectrum is, okay, I am no longer getting handheld on every step of my life. So what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Exactly. That is how I'm feeling a lot of these days now because I'm like, okay, well, you know, I get off, I go to work, come home.
I don't know, like, watch some TV or something and then eventually like wrap up, go to sleep. And then I'm like, oh, I guess like I should probably be doing more right?
I know what you mean. I feel like I'm always vassalating between, I'm not doing enough and like I'm doing too much.
Oh, yeah.
And I was constantly like see saw back and forth between those two feelings.
Yeah, and I think one big thing that I'm starting to practice out of all of this is to really think about if what I'm doing is what I want.
So literally like rethinking everything in life. I know it sounds dramatic, but I think it's kind of necessary.
So to go through all the basics, first one is probably work because that takes up the majority of our lives right now.
Is this a job that I want and is this a job that still brings joy?
And if it's not why am I in this job? Is it because someone else told me to be in it? Is it because you know, I'm satisfying someone else's expectation of myself when I should be satisfying my own expectation of myself?
That's a really big one, especially for our age. And I feel like especially now that we're going back into the office and stuff and work is taking up a bigger majority of our lives.
It does feel like more of an essential question. Like do I get along with my courkers? Do I like this team? Do I like these projects? Do I feel fulfilled by the things that I do?
And if not, then what's next? Like what are next steps basically?
Exactly. I actually talked to my therapist about this a lot.
She explained to me like you don't have to make big changes all the time as well.
If you're starting to realize that a certain aspect of life isn't what you want, she basically described this pretty interesting analogy to me.
Right now in life, you're basically in a serial aisle and you can try anything you want. Like no one's stopping you.
Except for yourself pretty much.
You don't have to suddenly take a jump from Cheerios to cookie crisps, something that's completely out of your realm.
You can definitely stick to one genre, I guess, of serial and try new things within there before considering moving on and trying a different type of serial.
So she was like you know you don't have to make any rash decisions right now, but you should definitely evaluate if the things you're doing is what you want and if you want to try new things.
I was like oh, I guess that makes a lot of sense.
So we should look for our honey nut Cheerios essentially.
Yeah, I like that. And I'll do a lot because I feel like if you think about the logistics behind every decision, you can sometimes like tie you down to stay in the status quo.
I want to go back to grad school, for example, I feel like my brain instantly goes to oh, how many years of income am I losing out on or will this truly benefit me or what's the return after X number of years.
Like who's going to pay the bills while I'm in school or things like that.
But I feel like it doesn't always have to be so drastic like your therapist said.
And I feel like it's a good way to kind of remind yourself that little decisions can eventually add up to.
So it doesn't have to be one huge change.
It can be small choices day by day.
Exactly. I've been revaluating my life.
And I feel like that really makes me feel like I'm going through just a long standing quarter life crisis.
I think at one point I was talking to my therapist.
I was like, oh my god, I'm having a quarter life crisis.
Aren't I? And she was like, well, I wouldn't call it a crisis.
Like you're still functioning. Okay.
So you know, I was like, okay.
But like I'm still having this crisis.
Dude, I feel like you're right though.
This is the perfect age because I think until you really hit your late 20s,
you're kind of just like fighting for your life, like really learning how to be a worker,
like learning what's like to live without your parents.
And like all these things that you're kind of getting used to.
And I feel like now we're just like used to it.
So then your brain wanders.
And I'm like, what can I fix?
Like what do I need to change?
Exactly. And a couple of episodes we talked about partying and having a check-in with yourself.
You know, that moment when you go to that room and you look at yourself in the mirror,
you're like, am I okay right now?
I feel like I'm having that right now, but in the concept of life.
Like you're in life's bathroom right now.
Yes. And I'm looking at myself like, am I okay right now?
What is the next step?
I'm like talking to myself and giving myself a pep talk for, yeah, what the next step is.
And I've thought a lot about it.
And I think I have come to an interesting realization.
Right now I'm living at home with my parents.
And I have been ever since I moved back from New York.
It's been really nice because it's like I get to spend time with my family.
They're really easy to live with.
We all are kind of introverts, so we just do our own thing.
And they're not super naggy to me.
But as I reflect on where I am in life and kind of having that mirror moment with myself,
I'm like, oh, I'm literally about to be 28.
And I'm living at home.
And it's kind of like those stereotypes from when we're younger.
It's like, oh, I don't want to be that 30-year-old still living in my parents' basement.
That kind of thing.
Which I feel like it's different in this current economic climate nowadays,
especially in the Bay area where living at home with your parents is a lot more common.
But it does kind of give you that sense, like, oh, shoot.
Maybe I'm missing out on other parts of life.
So I thought about it.
I was like, okay, like, you know, pros and cons, staying at home, saving money versus like moving out sooner,
and maybe like slowing down the saving process.
And what I've kind of come to the conclusion of is that in New York,
I was building a certain momentum in life, but then coming back to the Bay,
like, I kind of fell off that track, or like, I paused the momentum,
because readjusting to the Bay, living at home, kind of reverting to like an old self,
versus, you know, becoming a new self, I had to talk with my parents.
And I was like, I might try to move out by the end of the year.
And they were like, oh, you don't want to keep saving money at home.
But they take the news well, generally.
Yes. I had to pull out some tactics to convince them a little bit.
One, I was like, oh, dude, like, you know, most of our friends, like family friends,
as well as my high school or college friends don't really live at home anymore.
It's really good for growing your independence and responsibility,
all those kinds of excuses.
And they're like, hmm, okay.
But at this point, there are still like, low skeptical, right?
Because they're like, dude, you could just save at home.
And then I know your goal eventually was to like, you know, purchase property.
And then I was like, dude, but like, the HOAs right now are fucking insane.
Not to mention the high, like, mortgage rates.
Right.
I also told them, and I think this one kind of shook them a bit.
I was like, hey, when you were 28, you both got married and moved out of the country.
Whoa.
Damn, you used their past against you.
And they kind of went quiet after that.
And they were like, oh, okay.
So you successfully broke up with them as roommates.
Yes, exactly.
But they were kind of like, oh, but like, no rush to leave, right?
And I was like, yeah, sure.
And my mom was like, since your goal is to live alone,
make sure you find like a safe neighborhood blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, of course, don't worry about it.
Well, that is a very exciting culmination of the quarter-life crises that you've been having.
A lot of self-reflection and facing reality, maybe?
I think that's an interesting way to put it.
And I am, first of all, very excited for you.
And I'm also curious to see what kind of new chapter this will open up in your life.
Make it easier for you to feel in tune with yourself and your priorities and your decisions.
If it'll open up new doors, etc.
So hopefully all of those things come true.
Hopefully.
And hopefully it'll happen sooner than later.
I gave myself till the end of the year to not feel too rushed.
But you know, I kind of am very like sporadic sometimes.
Like the New York move was like within two weeks.
I'm out of here. But now it's like, oh, shoot, did I give myself too long of a timeline?
I can't become complacent in the middle of this.
It's like, maybe I'll surprise yourself, maybe.
So I'm thinking of my personal quarter-life crisis.
And I feel like it's almost like two sides of the same coin,
where I am also thinking about my decisions in life.
But I feel like the feeling that I've been having is...
I just feel so chased all the time, whether I feel chased on time,
chased on obligations, all of these different things.
And I just always feel like I'm running or sprinting maybe as the butter word.
And I think it's just like freaking me out a little bit.
Because I'm like, I have all these things that I need to do.
Which I feel like it's constantly on my mind because I'm just that kind of a person.
But the execution side of me is very weak.
And I have this long to-do list, and I just can't bring myself to lock in
and sit down and do all these things.
And I think coupled with this feeling of, oh, God, there's so much to do,
is always that nagging feeling of how come everyone else looks like they're doing fine?
And I'm the only one who's freaked out by all this shit on my to-do list.
No one else seems like they're freaking out.
People are getting stuff done in life.
Going traveling and moving jobs and going back to school and doing all these things fine.
But for me, when it comes to my to-do list,
I feel like every single day goes by and I'm not checking off like a single task.
Maybe you have big goals.
I think that could definitely be true.
But there's something about all these things that I want to do
where I think I'm just so freaked out and so panicked by everything.
That even the small tasks, I'm unable to touch them.
I see.
Because I think the logic is like, oh, there's this way more urgent thing that I should do.
So the small task, I'm going to push it aside.
But then it leads to nothing being done, basically.
And I think it's getting to the point where even things that bring me joy
or normally would slash should are starting to feel like obligations to me
because I just don't have mental space.
So you're feeling pretty overwhelmed about everything.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think this ties me in to something that you were talking about.
Of like, how do I know what I really want to do?
Or like, how do I know how I'm feeling?
Like, how do I check in with myself constantly?
I think I just don't have that check-in time or that check-in capacity right now.
And it's making me think of everything as like an obligation.
When in reality, I think life is not like that.
It's like, some things are obligations, other things are fun things,
other things are like building blocks to drive momentum for another goal, etc., etc.
But right now, I think everything just feels like an obligation.
And I'm like, I don't know how to snap out of this.
Like, I don't know how to not feel guilty all the time.
I just don't know.
Dude, maybe you need a true vacation.
Okay, this is a fantasy of mine.
Which is just like to take a week off, you know,
burn through a bunch of PTO, but literally do nothing.
Like, not travel or anything, but like literally just relax for a few days.
Whether that mean at home, well, it probably means at home.
Like, you know, sleep in, have no responsibility for longer than a weekend.
Dude, yeah, I feel like that's the dream.
Even that is like a good way to describe how I'm feeling.
It's like, I feel like I have to maximize my PTO always.
Like, I have to maximize this.
If I were free weekend, I have to get all these things done.
And I think a lot of it is sort of like perfectionism in a sense,
which is so ironic because I'm not a perfectionist, like when it comes down to it.
So I don't know why in terms of like schedule management,
I just always have to like fill it up with shit.
But I'm just overwhelmed and I'm like freaking out.
And I, you know, because I've been so busy or at least feeling like I'm so busy,
I've also been unable to talk to my therapist.
So then what's been happening is instead of working out my problems like a normal person,
I just have fucking nightmares about all the things that I'm going for.
Dude, that's the worst, the stress dreams.
I know. It's so bad.
I feel like the way our society is run slash like the way it functions right now,
totally can lead to this feeling as well.
Because I often think about it.
How we literally work, you know, five days a week, nine to five.
And after work, we're pretty tired, you know, we've been using our brain,
we've been, you know, talking to our coworkers, all of that stuff.
So you're pretty tired after work.
And now that we go into the office a few days, sometimes that nine to five gets a little extended
because we have to sit through traffic.
And then you only have so many hours left in the day,
but you're not fully yourself anymore.
We kind of just succumb to the easy stuff, you know, watching some easy to watch TV
or, you know, playing some mindless games or something of that sort.
And then we wake up and do it again.
And then we have the weekends where that's where we like shove all our social
like responsibilities, hang out with friends.
And it's like sometimes hard to have them in it to like catch your breath.
So I totally know what you mean.
And then I can totally see how this would build up over time.
So then eventually you just feel like exactly how you described.
You're always just like chasing something or being chased.
But you're like, when can I catch my breath?
Yeah, I think that's like totally a big part of it.
I think also like some of it probably does live with myself as well.
I take responsibility for not knowing how to prioritize.
I think that's the big thing.
It's like I want to do everything.
But in reality, you only have so many hours in the day.
So you just like pick and choose certain things and then stuff that's not as important or as key.
You push that off or you prioritize it later on a different day.
But I think for me, it's really hard to do that.
So then I just end up doing everything poorly.
Oh no.
And I was talking to James about this because I think he is very good at prioritizing.
He doesn't feel a ton of guilt when he has to deprioritize things versus for me.
I feel heavy guilt because I've been unable to see my therapist.
He's like my pseudo therapist right now.
And he basically was like, why would you even want to show up to certain things?
Or try to tackle certain things when you're not feeling like a hundred percent capacity?
Because that's just going to make that hang out not fun for your friend.
Or you're going to end up putting half effort into whatever tasks that you're doing.
And that task might be important too, right?
He was like, you just need to like rest more and then like pick like one or two things.
And then just like do that.
Otherwise what's going to happen is what I mentioned earlier.
You're going to do everything poorly.
And I was kind of thinking about it.
And I was like fucking facts because recently I went to hang out with a really close friend.
And I felt like the entire time we were hanging out instead of catching up about life.
I spent like, I don't know, maybe like 10 minutes like bitching about how I felt so busy and felt so overwhelmed and blah blah blah.
And it did feel somewhat good to get it off my chest.
But on the other hand, I was like, that's such a waste of time.
I don't want to negatively affect other people with how I'm feeling overwhelmed.
I would much rather if I were to go do that hang out again, which I guess is not that big of a deal because I see this person somewhat often.
But you know, I would rather spend that 10 minutes like talking about something else or catching up about her life or things like that.
So then I guess I just felt like if I don't get this prioritizing things straight soon,
I'm just gonna be like a Debbie Downer, like a negative Nancy.
Yeah, like everything I do in the next couple of months.
Oh, no.
It's okay. I'm sure your friend appreciated hearing about your life update, even though it was a little negative.
It was literally like overlaid. I was like, I just fucking care about the whole life.
I wasn't crying, but internally I was.
And you know, I think it's reasonable to because like sometimes someone else is going through a tougher time, sometimes you're going through a tougher time.
So it's okay to slip up here and there.
Although I wouldn't even call it slip up.
I would just call it like, you know, this time you're sharing your negative thoughts.
Next time maybe they'll share and maybe the next time after that you're both sharing like happy thoughts.
That's true.
But I do get what you mean, like you don't want your mind to be so consumed by the negative thoughts and then like kind of loom over.
Like if there was a way to share the negative thoughts, but happily, right?
I just wish I could put the part of my brain that's like consumed by feeling so busy and being freaked out by being busy and just like make that part of my brain actually do shit.
Because that would be less busy.
You're gonna do. I mean, but if you're overwhelmed, it's hard to do anything.
Yeah, that's true.
The trap.
You know, I think it's really funny too though because we both shared how we're having like pretty big, I guess life evaluation worthy moments.
And also it's funny as we've been chatting and I recently told you I was like, oh my god, I'm like addicted to the Sims right now.
The game. And then you're like, yeah, I'm like so addicted to TFT right now too.
I'm just like, this is our issue is a manifesting in a distraction.
Dude, I was just thinking about that actually because I feel like whenever there's all these things going wrong in life, I can only put my energy into one or two things.
And the thing that is going well in life is my fucking TFT addiction, which is so bad. The world is crashing and burning, but like your TFT first every time.
I'm climbing the rig.
And I've been keeping up with my gym like my like workout schedule, which is good.
That's good. That means everything else in my life is fucking going forward.
Yeah, every time I play the Sims now, I'm like, oh my god, if only life was as easy as the Sims. Like, dude, just open up the cheats tab and type in mother load. That's like a free 50k right there.
Oh my god.
And then like going to school and stuff in Sims, all you have to do is like do homework for an hour. Dude, you're good.
Why is a life so easy like truly?
Yeah, I sometimes wish life was as easy as controlling a sim.
Some of this heavy shit aside, I did have some like random realizations recently that I do feel like is making me feel more in tune with myself and just more connected with myself.
And I don't know why it took me like five years of working to come to this realization, but I just realized that in meetings with people like camera on meetings, you don't always have to be smiling.
Oh my god. Maybe it's because you know, usually in meetings, I was always like on the younger end or maybe it's just my burning desire slash obligation as like a young Asian woman to be like super happy and like bubbly and like, oh yeah, of course I don't mind.
Like I won't take on that obligation.
But now that I'm in my late 20s, I'm like, what the fuck? Like execs don't always smile during meetings. Like why am I as the junior level employee who is getting all these obligations handed to me?
Like why do I always have to be the one smiling and taking all these things with a smile?
Because at the end of the day, I may like 80% of the time like have to take these things, but that doesn't mean I have to always be like gritting ear to ear.
Which doesn't feel authentic and it just makes me hate myself like after the call is over. So recently in a meeting, I was just talking to someone and they're like, oh, like do you mind doing this? And then I was like, sure, but then I didn't smile.
I was just like, yeah, sure, I can do that.
And like with a straight face.
Yeah.
And it looked you like changed my life.
Oh my god.
Did it make the other person go like, oh, I shouldn't never mind. I'll do it.
No, so they were just like, oh, are you sure you're like, okay, doing it.
Oh, and then I was like, yeah, I can do it.
I don't want to come off like I was giving them attitude or like, sass, but that doesn't mean I have to be like overjoyed that I'm going to be taking on this task, you know.
True.
So then I was like, in some way, I am expressing myself and the thing is at the end of the day, there's a ton of people who don't smile all the time during meetings.
Actually, that's probably like the majority of your co-workers. So I was like, I'm just being normal now, yeah, and shedding like my mask.
So it felt very freeing to be like, sure, I'll do it, I guess, with an eye roll.
No, just kidding.
Dude, it was cathartic.
And I was like, is this how other people, like what other people are like during meetings?
They don't always pretend like they're like gig-a-halfy all the time.
Like I was like, this can be me. I'm not masking my emotions.
Dude, I can't wait till you show annoyance in meetings.
You can be like, um, yeah, I guess I could do this, but let's rethink this.
Like, is this something we actually need? Then everyone will be like, oh, shit, she's right.
Do we actually need to make her do this?
Dude, I think I've done that before, but it hasn't been very controlled.
Like, I feel like if I'm pushed to that point, I'm like, really pushed there.
But I feel like you can do that without being emotional, you know?
I'm like, definitely working up to that.
And again, I feel like this is a huge realization for me, but for many people,
this is just how they've approached work their whole life.
No, I think I'm similar. I always try to like smile and nod.
That's like the mantra going through my head during meetings.
Smile and nod, you know. Say something positive if you can, like insert yourself in here and whatever.
You're right. I think part of it is drilled in from when we were younger, like, new to the workforce.
And we're like, oh, we need to show everyone we're happy to be here and like excited to do work.
But now it's like, okay, actually everyone else is just as jaded as we are.
If not more, because a lot of my coworkers are older than me.
So like, you know, very normal to them, probably.
Yeah, exactly.
And I feel like there's been a ton of meetings where I'm like talking to someone and I'm like super happy
presenting on the outside and the other person doesn't match my energy.
And I feel like in the past, I was kind of like, what the hell?
Like, I'm being so polite and this person is not.
But then I was kind of like, well, this person isn't forcing me to be super polite and like super happy and like smiley smiley.
It's just like what I feel like I should be doing in meetings.
Honestly, it's not a sin to like match someone else's energy as long as I'm not being rude or impolite.
So maybe in some ways it's almost like a power move to not smile during meetings.
Or at least not feel obligated to smile.
Yeah, like keep them guessing.
I don't know what your emotion is.
Yeah.
True.
Dude, but this kind of ties in with what I was saying earlier when you said no one's forcing you to be all smiley smiley.
It's like how I said like we have to be doing things that we want to do.
So you should be smiley smiley if you want to.
But like if you don't want to fuck it, right?
Yeah.
And I was actually talking to my friend recently and she was like, you know, if someone is somewhat rude or like maybe disagreeable in a meeting,
the craziest thing that you could do is like smile, like have a huge smile on your face and like flex the smile, you know.
And I was like, wow, I never thought of smiling at something that's like empowering.
So I feel like if it is empowering to you, then it totally is a power move.
Yeah.
But if it's something that's forced on you, then you don't have to take it.
So it feels nice to have like options.
Uh-huh.
Wow.
Now everything's just a power move.
I think I need more power in my life.
Yeah.
And you think about my power moves next time in my meetings.
Should I smile or should I straight face?
Okay, low key, but sometimes if it's like a giant meeting or like a larger meeting that I'm not too invested in,
I just start like doing work, you know, like, and I'm probably just like blank-faced as I'm like doing work.
Right.
And on the camera.
That's the true power move when you're not even listening to you.
You're right.
You're right.
I've also had a small realization kind of similar to how like something so simple as taking control of your emotions in a meeting can be.
Mine is that maybe the sun is like nice to see.
Maybe it is useful for us.
Maybe the sun does bring joy.
Earlier this week, it was really sunny and nice and I was driving somewhere I forget where.
And I was just like, wow, it is such a beautiful day today.
Like anything is possible.
I drove home and I was like, okay, I'm going to do whatever I want now.
Dude, actually, that's so true.
And I think it's almost always April of every year where I have this realization and I'm like, wait, I don't hate my life.
But for some reason, every winter, I'm like still just as shocked at my seasonal depression.
Dude, right?
Like when we did that episode in January where we were similarly talking about our life updates and like what was going on.
And I was like, wow, I'm like kind of bummed lately.
You know, I have, I can't do anything.
Like I feel like no will to like do anything.
And now I'm like, oh my god, the sun is out.
Like even though I'm going to be staying inside all day, I feel like I can do anything.
Oh my god.
I love that though.
There's something about the sun setting at 8, 830 and like stepping out at like 730 and not seeing utter darkness.
Like I just feel so good.
Yes, I agree the other day.
I was literally eating dinner with my family with the sun like shining through the windows and I was like, oh my god.
What is this feeling?
I know and I've been like feeling the urge when we go out to eat.
I'm like, should we sit outside?
Who am I?
Winter me could never.
Seriously.
But then it rained yesterday really hard.
And I was like, that's weird.
I know nature is making sure we're not too happy.
Summer us is a different beast.
Seriously, and it's so funny because I feel like we're both a little more indoor.
A little more indoorzy people.
But like despite that, the sun still brings so much joy.
Oh yeah.
I've been like opening the windows and stuff during the day because it's not super cold outside anymore.
And it just feels so nice.
Yeah, maybe seasonal depression is real.
They weren't lying.
I never thought about it that much before, but now after that eye-opening moment, I was like, dude.
Maybe what people say is true.
I wonder if next winter, I'll remember this conversation and set less lofty goals for myself and Q1.
Because I feel like I'm always like, oh my god, I'm going to do all these things in the new year.
And then because it's winter, I'm like, never mind, I'm not going to do shit.
But I always have to like gap in the expectations versus reality.
So maybe this time I'll learn.
Also, maybe we should get each other like those happiness sunlight lamps.
Oh, Jesus.
The ones that like pretend like it's something.
But I always wondered like, how do those work?
Are they any different from just a regular light?
I don't know.
But I just feel like my brain will know that it's not so light.
Like I know your fake over there in the corner.
Exactly.
Low Kee though. Do you feel like the sunlight hit that much more because you were traveling in like the rainiest city in the world?
Honestly, maybe.
So far, I listen to this.
I did just travel to like London, which is, I don't know, basically the Seattle of Europe, right?
Like always gluing me like lots of rain.
Luckily when I was there, it didn't rain that much.
But it was like cloudy the whole time. So it's like relatively gloomy.
And I guess I didn't think too much about it because it's like, oh, I'm on vacation.
Like it's fun.
But then you're right.
Coming back, I was definitely like, oh my god, this sun is so bright.
This is what happiness is.
You're like, I belong in California.
But speaking of travel, I have another update.
Not necessarily a realization, but an update, which involves minimizing anxiety when traveling.
So last year, I traveled to Japan on my own in the fall.
And it was really fun, but I actually experienced a lot of anxiety during that trip.
There were definitely moments where I had to like stop and go to the bathroom to like breathe and regulate myself again.
And then be like, okay, I can like go back outside and like be okay.
I don't know, I think like probably also just being by myself in a place where main language is not English.
Also, you know, contributed to all that.
I got some tips that like if you are prone to anxiety during traveling,
one thing you can do is bring something from home, something familiar,
whether that is something that carries a scent from home or like something that you often interact with at home.
And it can kind of keep you grounded when you're traveling.
So I took that advice and I brought like a little plushie with me on my trip.
To be fair, I was also traveling with someone this time.
So that like cuts out part of it.
And like I was in a country where the main language is English too.
So I think like overall everything factored in.
It was less of an anxiety inducing trip.
And I felt like I had one somehow because I was like, okay, like this time anxiety didn't catch me on my trip.
Oh, wait, I'm so happy for you.
And it's nice to hear that the plushie trick worked.
Yeah. I totally feel you though.
I feel like traveling is something that's so fun.
It's a lot of people's top three hobbies and it's so glamorized.
But sometimes when you're actually on the trip, I'm like, damn, all I want to do is like go home.
Or at least like block out the world for 10 minutes while I collect myself.
Especially because like a lot of the places that we end up traveling to are like high traffic areas, right?
Because like, of course, everyone wants to travel there.
That's like part of the reason why you want to travel there too.
And so it's really easy to get like overstimulated or just being a really like loud and like stimulating environment that we're not as used to.
Dude, especially considering we both live in the suburbs right now.
And we're so used to like, it's like silent.
Exactly.
That is very true.
And I feel like low key part of it too is like, no one loves tourists.
Tourists bring in money, tourists bring in high traffic.
But at the end of the day, like locals generally will judge tourists.
So that I'm already going into it being like, okay, yeah, I wrote fucking H.E.
Shit, I didn't even think about that.
No, I mean, that's like the dramatic way of putting it.
But I think also like, you don't know the customs there as well.
So that I'm always kind of constantly thinking like, oh, I hope I'm not doing anything wrong.
Which I feel like is putting me on the defensive a little bit.
You're so right.
I have a similar thought but in a different form.
Whereas just like wherever I go, I'm like, damn everyone probably thinks I'm a dirty tourist.
I'm like a dirty foreigner out here.
True.
And we're American.
I feel like everyone hates Americans.
Oh, sorry, you're Canadian.
Oh, yeah, true.
Yes.
But you're North American.
Oh, yeah, true.
But also like being in London, you know, Canadian, I'm part of the Commonwealth.
I was like, wow.
I was like, wow, it's like, I'm home.
That's so funny.
I feel like one of the things that I have to do at least once or twice when I travel is I literally need like silence.
Whether that comes in the form of being in my hotel room and taking a breather or literally putting on noise,
canceling headphones or something.
Because otherwise, I'm like, okay, I'm going to start to freak out.
Like I need it to be absolutely silent.
Yeah, for sure.
I feel like as we get older and familiarize with our own comforts of traveling, I've really realized that
going back to the hotel and, you know, taking a break in between things is so important for me.
Like, you don't really have to do everything back to back to back to back.
And I think me personally doing that kind of overwhelms me sometimes.
So, you know, there's nothing wrong with just heading back, taking a breather or like sitting somewhere.
I always never reminded of that one time we traveled together to like Japan and Korea.
And one day we were just really tired.
We sat in a McDonald's for like three hours.
I was literally just thinking about that.
Oh my God, our mind wandered the same way.
But I feel like that's exactly what it is.
It's like when I travel, I feel so much pressure of like, oh, I only have X number of days here.
Like I need to explore everything, do everything.
But I feel like my body and like my anxiety is like, please stop.
Like, please, yeah.
Anything just to break, please.
And then maybe that's why we're also drawn to places like that McDonald's in Japan where it's like,
oh, this kind of feels like home.
And it's like somewhat familiar.
And it was like, we went to the top floor where it was like nice and quiet too.
And the four of us are suddenly for like an hour too.
And it has a bathroom there like everything we needed.
I also realized that I really need to get back on my fitness schools because traveling is a lot of walking and a lot of fitness to be honest.
So I was like, wow, I'm getting really tired every day. Like I need to go home and like get back on my fitness schools.
Oh, I know what you mean.
And I feel like there's a specific type of physical activity in traveling, which is like walking.
And my friends always make fun of me for like hating walking because even in New York, I'll be like, can we Uber?
But traveling, I'm always like, okay, I need to walk more at home.
I think I run and then I sit and that's it.
Yeah, I was like, I need more stamina. Like I'm getting old, man.
Dude, tell me about it.
I feel like we've come to a lot of realizations and it's only like Q1 of this year.
As you mentioned in the beginning of the episode.
And we talked about like a whole bunch of crises and a whole bunch of like little small life realization slash updates.
So you know, part of me is excited because it's like, oh, if you know, we did so much self reflection and learnings in just one quarter.
There's probably a lot more to come in the next three quarters of the year.
But also I'm kind of like, oh shoot, but that's probably tied to a bunch more crises.
I know I'm like, that was only Q1. What the fuck?
I'm also very curious to know if these quarter life crises slash meltdowns are normal.
So I would love for any listeners out there who are nodding along to this episode to message us or email us and feel like, yeah, I felt that exact same thing because I feel so low not here.
Like what's wrong with me?
It's just us melting down every every other week.
Like that's what it feels like on a city.
Yeah, so as Jesus said, reach out to us.
You can find us on social media at Eat Your CrossePod.
And we also have email, eatyourcrossePod at gmail.com.
And if you'd like to catch our other episodes, then don't forget to follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
We upload new episodes every Wednesday morning.
Thanks for listening.
And don't forget to eat your crust.
