John Stewart is back in the host chair at the Daily Show which means he's also back in our ears on the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.
Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more.
Now this is the second term we can all get behind.
Listen to the Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hello and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we discuss and talk through some of the big changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology.
Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast ever made, hopefully.
Today I have a very special guest.
Ghost. I'm Zoe. Gemma and I have been friends for quite a while.
Yeah you're my longest friend.
Well yeah not to brag guys.
My longest living friend.
Hello. Oh it sounds like someone died.
Yeah that's a bit morbid.
I don't think anyone did.
I don't know why you said it like that.
I don't know I just thought I'd say that.
I can die if you prefer.
No no because I feel like although I have actually thought about what I would say at your funeral.
It's a really easy way to make myself cry and like arguments and things like that.
Cute. Yeah thanks so much for being there for me.
You helped me out in so many ways.
More ways than one.
Yeah so we've been friends for like over a decade.
Yeah. Have you ever thought about that in that context of like half of our lives we've known each other?
No I will I did when we hit our 10 year anniversary but I can't remember when.
Did we celebrate? Was that this last year?
2021? Yeah it would have been last year.
Oh no. What are you meant to buy someone for the 10 year anniversary?
Is it like paper or something?
Have a piece of paper?
No it's like maybe it's like an invitation to a ball.
Like you meant to give them like a ceremonious gift.
I'm not sure. Well that's really disappointing.
Well you didn't either.
Well I was busy living my life in Canberra.
You never visited me.
I was busy living my life in Melbourne.
That's also very equally fair point.
And you moved out last year and it was Covid.
It was lockdown. It was a big year.
We were doing long distance.
We've been doing long distance for a while.
Four years. Oh my gosh it didn't feel like that long but yeah.
No it didn't. You never visited me either.
I think it made our friendship stronger.
Yeah well that's what we're gonna talk about today.
We really want to discuss because we are full of expert advice.
We kind of incidentally had this very lasting friendship.
So I think we want to talk about how that happened.
How you can have lasting friendships like the kind of secret to success.
If you may say it that way.
The psychology of lasting friendships.
Beautiful. Get keen.
Strap in. Strap in.
Strap in. Just gonna see thoughts on and tighten them up.
We're going pedal to the metal.
So as my longest living friend I've wanted to have you on for quite some time.
Yeah since the start.
Since the very beginning of the podcast.
I think a lot of the people I've had on have only known me since I was like 18 and I know this is like a podcast about our 20s.
But it's like the origin story.
You know like people get a peek behind into the origin story of me.
Yeah. The origin story of you I guess.
Well they don't really need to know about me.
It's not my podcast.
Yeah but you're an important figure of my 20s.
You know the long -term friends are important.
Last time I checked I was the main character.
Yeah yeah I that's what I thought.
I thought that I was just like the fun quirky friend who has a podcast.
And this is only seeking to elevate your social status.
Absolutely. That's why you did it right?
Yeah that's why. Oh I'm so glad we're on the same page.
So should we just start at the beginning?
How did we meet? Well we met on the first day of high school.
Yeah. It was I really didn't want to leave my primary school and I was freaking out a little bit.
And you I think you saw my brother's school uniform.
Yeah. Because it's his first day at my primary school.
At your primary school.
And you're like hi.
No this is not what happened.
Yeah I knew I wouldn't remember.
Tell me. Okay well it was kind of what happened.
So I like saw you and I saw your brother and I was like oh I thought maybe you were someone I'd go into high school with.
Oh I go to primary school with.
But then you were like crying with your mom.
And I was like oh well I would just go up to her because like I'm really nervous she's obviously really nervous.
And I still remember exactly what you were wearing.
We really was love at first sight.
You saw through my terrible clothes.
Okay so she was wearing an Angry Birds t -shirt.
That was like see -through.
Yeah. Like it was really bad.
With red tights and blue shorts.
I think they were purple.
Oh okay purple tights and you had either blue or red shorts over the top.
It might have been black three -quarter length leggings with a blue light blue shorts.
Yeah. And runners. No it was Converse.
Oh I was fashion. Right red Converse.
Ready to start at pretty hill.
And you were like crying and I was like well you know get them while they're weak.
Get them while they're vulnerable.
Let's strap her in.
Yeah. And so I like went up to you and I was like oh hi.
And then we ended up walking in together.
And we weren't in the same class but we had one class together.
Can you remember? Metal.
Metal. Because giving 11 year olds access to blow torches and poisonous chemicals.
One of our classmates got their arm burnt off a bit.
Yeah no you remember how that happened?
Yeah. The teacher had a blow torch and wasn't paying attention and like burnt her elbow off.
It's like third degree burns.
Yeah. She had to get a bandage.
Yeah and I think like a skin graft.
I don't know. Something like that.
If you're listening please let us know in the comments.
Yeah the comments of the podcast.
I remember exactly who it was.
Me too. The name of the flower.
Hopefully she doesn't think it's me.
Who cares. Anyhow and I remember we were in metal class together and you sat down and I was like oh my god that's the girl that I saw at Zoe and you had this Smiggle pencil case.
Smiggle purple with bubbles.
Yes! And you had a zip on the side and you unzipped it and I was like can I borrow a pen and you went unzipped it and you had like the most perfectly coordinated.
This is so Zoe even now.
It was very neat. It was very neat and you took out one pen and gave it to me and you're like I'll need that back.
I was like fuck yes.
I just remember being like this girl is a boss.
No wonder I had no friends.
You were the only one.
You were so nice to me.
But you had so many more friends than me during high school.
They were not friends.
Well neither were mine.
But you were still friends with some of them.
I kind of was like had people around but was a bit of a loner.
I just wanted to study.
Yeah. You were amazing at high school.
I know. You were the Leslie Knope.
You would not. You peaked maybe academically.
Yeah. But I feel like you really peaked at uni.
Yeah. I think when I started drinking I peaked.
When you could freely drink alcohol.
Yeah. I could freely drink alcohol outside of the confines.
I just remember calling you the first time I got drunk.
You're like hey I was so worried.
You had like three glasses of wine.
I know but I was really concerned because you were studying so hard and like so isolated.
We would hang out obviously a lot.
Yeah. But I wasn't lonely.
I know. But I was just really concerned.
Because like but that's only because I'm not a very big drinker.
And I am still not.
Yeah. And like it was just a different kind of level.
It was a different level.
And I was also like really heartbroken at the time.
Yeah. I remember that.
That was so sad. It was like my first real heartbreak.
I was like 17. But it made you so strong.
It did. And I moved to Canberra because of it.
Yeah. Which was like the best decision I ever made now.
Yeah. And I just remember being like at the end of high school like this is just like I kind of knew I was like I knew I had you.
And I didn't really need anyone else.
I was like I don't really like these people.
I'm ready for my new I'm ready for my social renaissance.
I'm ready to just embrace my life.
But then I moved to Canberra.
Yeah. And how did that go down for our friendship?
Because we were so close beforehand.
Yeah. The start of uni I think was challenging for both of us.
I think you had a really fun time.
Yeah. And I was you were not struggling a little.
And hearing about all the fun you were having made me really.
I was having as well.
Yeah. And just like all the growth and like just it just sounded like so much fun.
And I was kind of at uni being like I'm trying to do all this and have all this fun and it's not working.
Yeah. And I remember you came to visit and I was like I didn't know why I was feeling all these like emotions which I now realise with jealousy.
But also I think not just jealousy but also like it was an adjustment to our friendship.
Like we'd spent so much time being like each other's kind of number one after your boyfriends.
Of course after all these men that were lining up to see me.
Oh my god. That I hated.
Because I had the jealousy earlier when you started dating before me.
But men are trash and you saw that from the start.
Yeah I hated all of them.
They were the worst.
One of them would just follow us home like a dog.
I would be like I just I was kind of mean to him.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was kind of mean to him because I was like I don't think you're good enough for her and I want access before I leave.
Well it was true. Like it was it was shit.
And then like I think as soon as you left you guys broke up.
Yeah. Yeah. And that was probably what contributed to you having all those negative feelings.
Yeah. Yeah I think.
Because like you've just been through like a breakup.
Your best friend had gone and I was meeting all of these new people and I think I really was coming on a little bit strong with how much I was having how much fun I was having.
I was like and this is this person and this person.
Well I hadn't I never learned how to be happy for someone without knowing what they were happy about.
Like I'd never experienced drinking and having fun.
And I still like it took me a really long time to learn how to drink alcohol and not be really toxic about it.
So. Even now you're very good at limiting yourself.
You don't drink very much at all.
Yeah it's not it's not my like favorite thing to do.
I just I have fun without it and I realized that.
But I didn't realize that in first year uni.
Yeah. And I and the people that I were meeting were not very genuine and you were just like having the best time and I was like I'm like alone.
Like I don't know I don't there's no way that I feel comfortable because you'd gone and my partner had gone like that I'd been dating for a really long time.
Two years almost right.
Yeah and I just was like there's no way that I'm actually safe.
And then you came home I remember and I was like finally like we can have.
Yeah time together.
And I don't I said something horrible I think.
I said I was disappointed.
No you said I just don't can you just like shut up about your new friends I don't want to hear about that.
Yeah and I was like I'm disappointed in you.
Yeah and I was like absolutely not.
I was so proud of you for getting so far out of your comfort zone unfathomably far out of your comfort zone.
You're so lovely. And I was just like ah and you left like that was so dramatic.
I was so dramatic. Was we've been drinking.
I was no I was so scared though because I didn't know if you'd gotten home safely you just like left.
I was just like you said that comment to me and I was just like I'm I have all my friends like you're literally like fuck this shit I was like I'm done and I just like ran off.
Yeah. And then I just got home and then you were like calling me and calling me and calling me.
And it was rude I should have picked up the phone.
No I was I wouldn't have.
I think it was like a couple days before we spoke again.
You were back in Canberra.
And then I called you and I was like it's okay.
Yeah it's fine. We had a good chat.
And that I think is what you were talking about in terms of the sacred to friendships.
Long -term friendships.
Is that like we had the distance.
Yes exactly. We didn't have that like.
If you had been next door to me while going through all that growth.
I don't think we would have had because we needed to take that time apart to make all those mistakes and learn those different things.
And then we came back and we were like wow look at all this stuff I've learned.
Like let's let's help build each other up.
And we just have incidentally learned the same stuff at the same time.
Well and we've grown into our own people but we still love each other.
Yeah but also I think in terms of that fight it was good that we had space because it meant that we didn't have the pressure that sense of pressure to resolve it straight away.
It was like when we were both ready.
Well mainly when I was ready.
I think in that in that situation like we could come back to each other and just apologize sincerely and move on.
I think so. And I think that was the start of me learning with disagreements that it's not the other person's responsibility to make me feel better.
When I've done something wrong I actually just need to sit with that shame.
Yeah. And like just because it feels bad it's not the other person's responsibility to absolve that for me.
Yeah I'm still learning that now.
Yeah. But I think this year I've learned that a lot more of just being like okay if things go wrong you just have to accept the guilt feel those negative feelings sit with it and then move forward.
And maybe it works out maybe it doesn't but I think since we're talking about lasting friendships one of the key is like one of the key elements is being able to argue and disagree and move forward.
Yeah. Like we were talking about this when we were getting ice cream earlier and you said a good point of like if they're stupid arguments.
Like I feel like if you just keep fighting about dumb things yeah if it becomes exhausting it's time to reconsider something.
Yeah. I don't think it's ever been exhausting for us.
We've really only had two fights.
Really? We had more than I don't know.
No. I'm just remembering our first fight.
Yeah you were so moody you were like angsty.
No not the big one.
The one with the people when I asked someone out on your behalf and you got really angry.
Yeah and he was really fucking gross.
He was so weird but I was like do you want to ask you out?
And then I was like you did the same thing to me first.
No you didn't first.
Oh I can't remember that bit.
Yeah I knew you could.
I just remember it was in drama class.
Can you remember that?
It was in drama. Yeah it was in drama and we were like working around being like hehehe and then we did it and we were like what the fuck.
And then the second big argument we had was because Zoe really went through her teenage years very strongly.
What do you mean? You had lace up knee -high Doc Martens.
I hate it. Those are my biggest regret.
They were really expensive didn't you get them for your birthday.
Yeah and then I gave them to my dad to sell and he sold them for 20 dollars.
No. Yeah and I didn't even get the money back.
I was gonna give it to my mom.
Oh my god. It still haunts my dreams.
But they're worth their weight in gold in terms of the memories that we've had with them.
No. Well I remember that you were in such a foul mood and you like screaming at me on the phone and we like saw you like walking across the park.
I was angry because you guys met up before and you didn't tell me.
And I was like. You were late.
I don't remember. I remember being angry.
I remember you being angry as well.
I was angry. But we came through it stronger than ever.
Stronger than ever.
And we flourished. But then I think you're right I think I'm still learning what you were saying but you need it like you need to be able to fight with your friends and both have the same level of maturity to either accept that it's not working and be delicate about it and forgiving or to be able to
move on together and be like okay I accept my wrongdoings you accept yours I forgive you you forgive me let's like integrate it into part of the narrative of our friendship which we have like we laugh about it now but at the time it was very serious.
Yeah. And it worked out really really well.
I think everything's a little bit less stressful though now.
I don't know like because we have our own lives.
Yeah I think there's just I think now that we're a bit further into proper adulthood and there's not as many hormones and changing things and teenage drama I think that we've well I don't know about you but I've realised that I know things will go wrong and things will go right and like there's little
I can do about it and the easiest thing to do is just prepare and get ready to adapt to things and I just you know I don't know but about you but I just feel like everything's gonna go right.
Yeah like everything will be okay.
It always turns out okay.
That's the other part of why we have such a good friendship is because we don't actually spend enough time with each other to fight.
Yeah that's true. So we actually like end up being more but we're always the other good part about that is that we're separated from each other's social situations.
Yes so we can give it unbiased opinions and also tell each other the drama.
Yeah completely and fully.
Remember when that guy broke up with me or like ended things with me in my first year?
Yeah. I think I cried too about that.
I felt your pain. I was so sad.
And you dropped your pizza on the ground topping's up.
Oh yeah. Topping's down.
I dropped my pizza.
My pizza. That was a hard hard year and I think I wouldn't have been able to do it without you because you were you were just such a rock like I just knew that nothing was could really shake us.
I could call you, you would pick up.
I could cry to you.
You would happily listen to my tears.
Always. And I came back to Melbourne and we did this one of my favorite memories of you was we did this massive walk and we sat at the park at the end of my street and I don't know if you remember this it was really really clear to me and I was super depressed but I sat with you and we just talked about it
and I felt so much better and it was like a turning point in that story the story of this person where I was like actually I can make it through because I've got this person who even if everything else falls apart I'll always have this person to lean on and it was like family.
Yeah. It's like having a family that you choose and I never really understood that phrase until probably the last three years of our friendship.
Yeah. Because you're very also it just helps that you're very close with my family as well.
And there were so many times when we could have gone our separate ways and just like stopped being in touch but every single time I feel like you've really made the effort to be like I'm coming back to Melbourne.
I want to see you. Like let's do this.
Whereas I have not really done that but I will make the time when you're here.
But the thing is I obviously naturally come back to Melbourne because my family's here.
You're not going to naturally make you don't even know where Canberra is.
I have to tell you she was like is it above Sydney?
Is Sydney further than Canberra?
I was like there's our capital.
You don't even know you fake Australian.
I didn't know where Canberra was until I was like 20.
You know you could have known if you visited me.
Yeah but I still I even was like okay I'm probably going to go visit Gemma and then I looked it up and I still didn't know where it was.
But you are coming to my Taylor Swift birthday party aren't you?
Yeah we have to book that.
Yeah it was so funny we were like walking through Brunswick and I was like oh have I told you what I'm doing for my birthday and then we walked past all these trendy people and I was like well I can't say it now.
No they'll judge. They will judge me for saying Taylor Swift themed birthday party I'm sure there's someone listening to this.
Everyone likes Taylor Swift now though.
Everyone does and if you if you say you don't you're a liar.
You're lying little earwig.
Lying little earwig.
Lying little earwig.
Well yeah it's from Matilda.
Oh I thought you just came up with that.
I think. I was like god she's a genius.
I think. I don't know my dad does it all the time.
Really? Lying little earwig.
That's my new favorite like using like an adjective and then like a random animal.
Like you slippery little sea snake.
Smelly bug. You smelly bug.
You gross little lizard.
I don't know. You stinky alpaca.
Yummy. Yeah I know stinky alpacas.
We love. We do love.
They get a bad rap.
They do get a bad rap.
Because they spit on people.
Spit on people. Sometimes they're just can't control one thing.
It just comes out like a tsunami.
But anyhow. The friendship has lasted.
I guess. Well I don't know what if you don't make it to my wedding?
Well I don't know. I guess kind of like we're still in the honeymoon phase.
Ten years. Yeah I don't really know how I feel about you at this point.
I'm like fully obsessed with you.
So I don't know. It's like that's all.
It's been every relationship ever though.
I'm like I'm like in love with you.
I'm obsessed with you.
Here's this shrine for you.
And they're like I'm sleeping with seven other people.
What? And you're like oh that's okay.
Do whatever you want.
You can give me syphilis.
Like I'm so up for it as long as you like hug me.
Yes Zoe today was trying to tell me that Cotton Eye Joe was about.
STD. It's not. It's about slavery.
The worst STD of all.
Well slavery is a lot worse.
Yes. It's not an STD.
No we can't confuse them can we?
No. You can't really be diagnosed with slavery.
Oh my gosh this has taken a turn.
Yeah let's maybe get out of the folklore of Cotton Eye Joe.
What are some of our favorite memories together?
If you're listening to this and you don't know us I'm sorry but apologies.
Yeah not really. One of my favorites was we were talking about this in the car was when we dressed up as Katniss Everdeen.
Yeah that was amazing.
We had this huge like young adult fandom phase.
Do you remember the Instagram account I used to run?
Oh yeah. It's like Journey, Legend of a Fangirl and had like thousands of followers and I would like post memes about shadow hunters and divergent and yeah I know it's hilarious.
Now kind of yeah I was a bit of a book nerd.
So yeah yeah yeah I haven't read a book for ages now that I'm living my life.
That might be a new year's resolution for me actually to read.
I thought you didn't believe in resolutions.
I didn't. I'm gonna write that down though.
Okay so are any book recommendations for Zoe please let us know.
Let us know in the comments.
You should read this one by Emily Ratajowski called My Body.
Okay. I have heaps of books to read.
I don't need read book.
I've got books. I've got books.
I just haven't read them.
Read the books. Learn to read.
Remember when we used to wear um like warmers to school?
I still think that's a look.
I would love to always dress like I'm doing aerobics.
I used to wear that over jeans though.
Oh that's not a look.
I mean no because we used to wear skinny jeans.
That's fine. Oh no stockings it has to be stockings.
It has to be stockings in like a little short, maybe a little skirt.
A little skirt. Yeah like a little black skirt.
That would be very trendy.
Very nice. The legs were a big look for me out in high school.
And I'm like why didn't I have as many friends as I wanted.
Well because the people that we went to school with were trash.
Yeah they were really awful.
Yeah if you're listening I really don't like you.
Well okay I wouldn't go that far.
We were all going through periods of growth in high school.
We cannot we cannot define people.
No no I don't have out people we went to high school with like not very nice.
They probably have changed a lot.
We weren't very nice in high school.
I literally saw one of them today with you and she ignored me.
Yeah I don't know. But also yeah growth.
I do see what your point is because I was thinking about this the other day with my mum um and I'm like five years is a long time.
It's a long time. People have changed a lot since high school.
And you reflect. And like I know that when I was in high school I was like whoa and then like I was like whoa that's a great describing word.
But um like two years later I was like wow I can't wait to see all the people from high school and show them how much I've changed.
Then I saw some people and they were like they didn't care.
Why would anyone care about how much growth we've had except ourselves.
Like no one recognises that.
And it doesn't matter they don't need to.
They've gone through their own growth.
Would you go to our high school resolution?
High school yeah I would.
Just so that I could say rub it in their face.
I thought you said no one cares about your growth.
No one does. But you feel like it does.
You feel like it matters.
I like myself and I think I think I deserve to be liked.
Oh that's a really good way to say it.
You do deserve to be liked when I like you so.
Exactly. I would definitely go.
Yeah. Because I like I think I have a bit of an ego about the fact that I moved out of Melbourne.
Yeah. I felt very special for doing that.
Get out of this hole in the wall town.
Yeah Melbourne. There's nothing you do here.
I'm Al Corona. I'm going to move somewhere after special.
There's not enough opportunities.
Yeah like Canberra is just like amazing.
Yeah it's its own universe.
broader horizons. Yeah.
I felt very good about that decision when I made it and I still do because I think that like it was a big thing to move.
Like no one else really did that.
And I felt like I kind of had the like American university experience.
Like I went to college.
Did you get hazed? I hazed myself.
I hazed myself. I was drinking so much in my first year.
I was falling in love with men I shouldn't and women I shouldn't know.
Like friends and stuff like that.
I was eating, I ate like I was being hazed.
I remember my quintessential meal was like a handful of Dorito chips and baked beans and cheese and I just put it in the microwave.
Yum. That actually sounds so good.
No but imagine if you ate that every day.
I know. Or I would eat the chocolates from Coco Black.
Because I worked there and I would steal chocolates from Coco Black.
Oh my gosh. And I would say they were expired and that would I have this massive bag that I would eat.
Oh my gosh. Yeah it was really fun though.
Yeah I bet it was. I was really sad about it last night.
I was like trying to go to sleep and I was like what I wouldn't do for one more day walking through the college halls.
Because I had it was like it was like literally one of my like golden years.
Like it was terrible and it was tragic and it was disturbing but it was also just so much fun.
Yeah. And so new. And I guess that was like you had the same experience but you didn't have like the added freedom of living away from home and meeting new people which I think was what made it hard.
You've done that now and more organically I'd say.
Yeah I've had a lot I had a lot of fun in 2021 even though it was a shit of a year.
What was your highlight?
Well this is a silly highlight because we had a lot of fun and we did a lot of like planned things but there was one time I remember I moved out with like five of my best friends.
And your boyfriend.
And my partner. Sorry.
Sorry my boyfriend.
I don't care. And we when we went into lockdown we were like well I guess we were having like piss -ups every day.
So every Friday we would just get drunk and we would have like teaching Tuesdays where we would like teach each other about something we're passionate about and we'd watch Taskmaster together.
But my favorite thing we also it's it's a it's a show where they just get all these comedians to do silly tasks.
It's really fun. And my like we had hosted a murder mystery night and it was my 22nd birthday in lockdown and Nathan made us our very own Taskmaster to do all together.
It was amazing but my highlight was when we played The Floor is Lava as a house just on a random Friday night and we sang that song that goes like and we like all bocked around on all the couches and one of my housemates crawled into the fridge.
It was just ridiculous.
That sounds so fun.
It was so fun. That's what I want when I move to Sydney is like I think that's like the secret to good like having having fun in your 20s is like actually allowing yourself to be silly.
Yeah don't be serious.
Like you're so I think we sometimes forget how young we are like everyone I was thinking about this I was like oh when I was thinking about back to my college days and I was getting really sad about it and I was like how many people in their 30s would be looking at us being like you guys are just babies.
And The Floor is Lava.
A perfect way to express your inner baby.
We would just randomly be like The Floor is Lava when we were playing like D &D or something and everyone just jumped up and like started running around all the furniture.
I'm so proud of you for moving out and during a hard year as well lockdown was not an easy year to make.
We didn't know we were going to go into lockdown.
But you still made it through like you took I think we thrived three years ago that would have been so anxiety inducing to you.
That's true. You would have crumbled and you thrived.
I think that Nathan's been a really big part of that.
I think he's helped me, he's guided me and facilitated and I'm sure you would have noticed this as well.
I think I'm my own person now and I realised this because I've recently spent a lot of time with my dad who I've had a couple of issues with in the past and I just felt like I was a lot more tolerant and patient and that I could handle his stuff because I knew it wasn't a part of me anymore.
Yeah wow. You know.
But how did you get to that point?
Just moving out? You say that or Nathan?
I think moving out because I took a very I'm a very strong person and I've become really close with my housemate and we just kind of grew together so I don't know.
I just kind of leapt off a cliff and I realised that I could fly and I wasn't gonna fall.
I didn't need to be my parents to survive.
Yeah. Wow. I've never asked you about that before.
You are so wise and wonderful.
Oh my god. Thank you.
I'm obsessed with you.
You inspire me every day.
Yeah I do. And I think another thing is just making sure that I surround myself with people that challenge me and you're definitely having challenged me for 10 years.
I'm challenging. Challenges in like inspire and bring new perspectives.
Yeah. Because I don't want to ever get to a point where we're in a life and we're just like this is how we do things and this is how I think and this is how I want to do it.
Yeah and I'm not willing to move on that in capacity.
And you've always been a critical thinker and you've always questioned me and I really appreciate that.
Well that's part of what we were saying before about like the importance of having people who are kind of just yours.
Like yes I'm yours you're mine in that way.
Like there's like I don't have another equivalent of my Zoe and it's like we exist in our own little bubble.
It's like we're our own partnership.
Exactly. Sorry Nathan you're out.
Sorry Babs. And I think we trust it doesn't matter how long and I know we've said this to each other countless times it doesn't matter how long we're apart we know that whenever each other like whenever I I know that whenever I need you I can call you and I just be like even if you're busy I'll leave
your voice message and you'll call me back in 10 minutes.
If you think something's wrong you'll call me back which it hasn't usually been.
Sometimes you had a really hard, a couple months ago you were really struggling.
Do you remember you called me and you were quite upset?
Oh yeah. It was like with Kmart.
Yeah yeah I had a hard year the start of the year.
But oh yeah I don't remember what it was.
I think there was a lot of things going on.
Oh my gosh. Oh yeah yeah also your cat was sick.
Yeah my kitty. She's okay now.
I saw that cat today like cats not, how day?
I don't think that cat's okay.
How day? I don't know.
What do you mean? It was like meow.
That's my gosh. She was like looking at me and was just like meow.
And I was like oh my god I just so don't want to talk to you right now.
And I like pat her and she was like meow.
And I was like a clump of her fur fell out.
She's so cute you're just not a cat person.
No I'm not. I'm not a sickly cat person.
She takes more medications than like my grandmother.
She doesn't take any medication.
Uh what about the thyroid medication?
She she doesn't take any.
She's that's cured.
Oh my god really? You're a cool cat.
Dora Dora Dora the explorer.
Dora's not doing any exploring right now.
She's doing a lot of biology.
Yes she is. You're such a bitch.
What? She is. I'm sorry your cat is you don't see her in a peak.
When the sun's out she goes and finds a bush and she like grabs it apart like a freaking adventurer.
And then she sits right in the middle and she's allergic to the grass.
And she still sits there and she sleeps all day and then she comes in and she's like why am I so itchy?
I fucking wonder. You stupid fucking cat.
No maybe she needs some hay fever medication.
Do you think you could give cats hay fever medication or would that be like?
Give them steroids.
Whoa isn't that illegal.
I bet there's someone out there who's taking like cat steroids for the muscle gain.
Oh my gosh probably.
I think I probably know them.
I was gonna say. Like I can definitely see that happening.
It's like what if we gave a cat Lexapro?
This conversation is following no sensical path.
I can't remember why we started talking about the cats.
Is it your podcast?
No. Well then I but I just wanted to point it out for the viewers at home.
The listeners at home.
The viewers at home post a comment below.
There's no comment section to the podcast.
Like and share. Comment below how you found this con cast.
This this part so far we're gonna be back in just a second with our lessons learned in 2021.
So Zoe 2022 just started two days ago.
Yeet. Yeet. We already talked about what we learned in 2021.
What was the biggest I'm sorry but we haven't even mentioned this and I think this is so important to talk about in your 20s because you're my first friend who's taken this leap and what is that leap?
I bought a house. She bought a fucking house.
But I had to unbuy it because they scammed me.
Life is complicated but you managed to buy a house in this economy which is just like absolutely mind boggling.
I have like 800 right now.
I you would know that I have wanted to buy a house since I was a child and so I've always been saving it and I've lost friends because of it.
I'm fucking tired ass like my parents.
You know it's I'm also extremely privileged and I'm very fortunate to have been in the position that I was.
But also I'm just gonna give you credit where credit is due.
You worked hard for it.
There was a lot of things you said no to.
Yeah that's true. A lot of opportunities you didn't get to have because you wanted this and I really admire you because you set that goal and you followed through with it and this was last year was the year that you saw that through in some ways.
You did technically buy a house.
Technically I did. That went in my mouth.
I got Dora's hay fever into a fucking cat cell.
That literally went in my mouth.
What's mine is yours Nellie.
A little bit of Covid.
A little bit of Covid from my sweetheart.
But um so what ended up happening, so you bought the house and then it was a big fuck around.
They definitely took advantage of the fact that it was your first time.
So yeah I signed the contract and then the day after they were like buy them away and the house needs underpinning and I was like what?
And I told my dad and my dad was like underpinning is like twenty thousand dollars it means the house is sinking into the ground like this is bad.
Then we like looked it up and it's like a lot of money and the property was already selling for more than the other houses and the block were valued up.
And I was like oh my gosh like this is really stressful.
So yeah we got out of it and I was really fortunate to have a good lawyer.
Be recommended a really good lawyer from my colleague.
She's done all the work like pro bono.
Really pro bono? Yeah.
If you don't buy the house she hasn't.
And you didn't technically buy the house.
Yeah because she hasn't done all the forms and stuff.
That's amazing. She was really good.
Would that be a lot of the stress off?
Would that be your advice if you're going to purchase a house in your 20s get a good lawyer?
Or make sure you can afford it I guess.
Yeah like I would say that if you wanted to do that I was really really conservative with all my calculations.
So I made sure that it was like less than half my paycheck that was going to go to the mortgage.
And like your mum said as well just making sure that if everything goes wrong if you're if you don't have any income how are you like making sure that you have plans to finance it.
Yeah. And like because I'm buying a house when I'm young I knew I wanted to travel.
So I knew I needed to buy a house that was easy to rent and things like that.
Easy to service, low maintenance.
Yeah and it would be it would be very easy to rent.
It's from close to public transport.
The one that you did initially buy and hopefully you do get to buy in the end if they give you a discount.
We'll see. Yeah and if not you've still done it like you still kind of fulfilled your wish.
I'm so excited for when I can come and visit you and your property.
Just want to have a dinner party in my house.
And you know what else?
You can paint the walls whatever color you want.
I can put nails in the roof.
Yeah nails in the roof.
So I can hang plants.
You could put wallpaper up.
I'm not putting wallpaper up.
Oh my god but you could.
I could. Oh my god you can do whatever you want.
You can set it on fire.
You can get these like things that are like sand and oil.
They're massive circles and you can get them to like hang on your wall and then you you flip it and it's one of those like sand things but it creates landscapes and you turn it it's a different landscape every time.
Really? It's like 600 dollars but.
Oh is it a necessity?
Well the the house that I was gonna buy only had three windows so it would be a necessity.
Oh yes you can claim it on tax.
No. Yeah it's good for your mental health.
Only no. Wait how do I only have three windows but I had two bedrooms?
One bedroom in each one window in each bedroom and the door to get in was a window.
It didn't have any windows in the lounge room?
Well the lounge room was where you got in but we were gonna put it had skylights.
Oh okay that's good.
Do you know what I found out the other day?
What? In Australia it's illegal to have a bedroom without a window.
Really? Yeah so if there's like a property and it has like say for example a room with no window you can't count that it's like a third or a fourth bedroom.
You have to say it's two bedrooms.
I work for a council and one of we inspect rooming houses and I don't think I can say this on a podcast.
Say it. No I can't.
Why? I'm sorry. I'll tell you after.
Oh damn why can't you say it?
I'll let you guys know in the comments.
There's no comment section.
She's lying to you.
Anyhow well and then you also got a full -time job last year as well.
Yeah I did. You really and you were so stressed about it.
You did okay one thing that I think you did amazing was you didn't just like grab the first job that came to you.
You like did things.
You volunteered the start of the year.
You were so busy. You were volunteering.
You were doing so many different things.
You were doing internships.
You were just taking time for yourself.
Would you recommend that?
I would absolutely recommend it but I didn't like it.
Why? I really really really loved what I was studying and I was because I finished my degree in lockdown it was a little bit I didn't enjoy that.
I didn't like studying online but and I feel like I didn't want to forget what I was studying but because I wasn't doing anything and I was really relaxed.
I wasn't reinforcing that knowledge in a way that I would have liked and I felt a bit aimless.
I'm a very busy person.
You oh my god. So busy.
I just didn't like having even like three or four hours a day that I wasn't doing anything.
I did get really into yoga which past the time but I just didn't like not doing stuff.
Yeah. And I was applying for so many jobs that I think I lost my mind.
And your confidence probably.
Yeah and I forgot how to write about myself.
By the like 50th application I just was like well I've already written this.
Shouldn't they know?
Yeah. But like it was obviously a different company and the job that I got I didn't even really apply for.
I got an internship just by Fluke.
Yeah. And then they were like oh if you want you can work for us and it coincidentally was almost exactly the job I was looking for.
I just didn't know it existed.
Really. And it's a cool job.
It's really cool. She has so many good stories.
I do. Like they're the best.
I love that you are like a big a big time cool full -time girl.
Thank you. Big time cool full -time job girl is your new uh name of my friend.
When I tell people I'm a health inspector they're like oh that's boring.
No. Like most of my friends work in hospitality so like you're the person that ruins my day.
Yeah oh yeah yeah yeah.
No but you do more than that like there was this one about a noise complaint that you told me about.
I obviously won't tell you the details.
Yeah we do a lot of different things.
It's not just food.
Yeah. I love the beauty places.
I literally do. I went to this the most magnificent health and beauty like public health wellbeing premises and the lady was so nice and there was one thing she needed to fix and she sent me this full video.
It was like produced.
It had like music on in the background.
They were like showing me around and I was like this is this is a video.
It had music. Yeah they had music.
I uploaded to the YouTube channel.
It was so pretty. Really.
It was amazing. Did you get to visit it in person?
Yeah I saw it in person then and I was like can you just send me a video when you fix this thing and then she like fully produced this whole video with like music and like it was like calming.
She needs to be a YouTuber.
It was amazing. Maybe she's starting to be a beautiful place.
I've been to some beautiful places.
Is it anywhere that you've been that you're like I'm gonna go back there or anywhere that you've been?
I'm definitely not.
A lot of places where I was like definitely not but I just usually we usually don't go to many places.
There's only a couple places that we would go to in our council because it's a bit tricky if you're eating somewhere and it's a whole bunch of health inspectors that are definitely going to inspect your place.
Yeah. In the next year.
Really? Yeah. So it's fine.
It's fine. We go to like we go to places but we don't go to many.
Yeah. As a team and then like I don't really do much beauty stuff so I don't.
But there's a lot of places that I'll be like if I wanted to get my lashes done I would come here.
Yeah. If I wanted to get like an eyebrow tattoo.
Did you tell them that?
If I was ever gonna get an eyebrow tattoo?
No because then they'd be like come and we'll do it for free which I'm not allowed to do.
Oh bribes. Yeah. I don't know corruption isn't that bad.
It's well no. It's pretty bad.
Imagine in like the future if I become some kind of political person and that that audio is played by like one nation.
I'm gonna be the person that takes you down.
Yeah. 21 -year -old Gemma Specken didn't think corruption was bad.
I'm gonna become a journalist and be like I know everything about you.
I'm just gonna bring you down.
Would you sell my secrets?
No, of course not. It's a bit of a gamble when you have a long -term friend who you share everything with because they could easily turn on you.
You better not scream me over.
Make climate change a priority.
Well I'll think about it.
It's not real but. Yeah.
I also like solar panels are just so ugly.
Like I don't really know if that's my vibe.
Like when I buy my like sixth floor terrace apartment in Carlton North.
Yuck. Like what if it's a heritage property I can't put any more trees in.
But you could put solar panels babe.
No I'll go remember.
I go. That's my new favorite word.
No but I'll definitely do that for you Zoe Borgouts.
I will make solar panels on residential properties.
Solar panels is compulsory.
Oh there's more you can do.
Okay well we'll talk about that at a later day personally.
Next podcast coming up is Gemma Specken running for Prime Minister.
Prime Minister what's gonna happen?
What's she gonna do?
Key policies comment below.
Yeah shut the fuck up.
Key policies uh please invest in hay fever medication for sickly cats.
Don't tax hay fever medication.
Don't tax hay fever medication.
Make bribes in health inspection legal.
I think they are legal.
You can't bribe someone that's not legal.
It's not a bribe but we just don't do it in our company.
Oh that's nice. Yeah.
You guys have morals.
Yeah an ethical company.
Oh I don't know if I could work with that.
I'll do my best. I won't tell you what the company is.
I know what it is. Shh.
So we talked about 2021.
What do you want for 2022 to wrap up this podcast?
I want us to get married.
But you don't really have anything to give me.
I was already I'm already engaged to someone overseas so I can get a green card.
Oh I actually am married to a Nigerian prince.
I gave him all my money.
He told me he'd bring me over soon.
Do you want to come to the wedding?
Yeah I'll come to the wedding.
I've already written my speech.
Yeah are you gonna be one of my bridesmaids?
I think you're gonna be my maid.
Excuse me I was like one of your bridesmaids.
Step down. Step down.
You're not allowed to get married anymore.
Me and Ellie. Yeah you'd definitely be and Hannah.
Yeah. Yeah you would definitely be my maid of honour.
I think that would be fun because also you're very organised.
All three of us. We would be amazing.
You'd be a dream team.
Amazing. Amazing. You're funny.
Yeah yeah I know. Yeah funny looking.
The hay can I go first?
Yeah you go. I really want to be more honest with myself and with others.
I want to make really good friends.
Some different friends.
Some really good friends.
Not like different as in like I'm sick of my old friends because I'm obviously not.
They're incredible but like a different type of friend.
Because I think a lot of my friends like people I met in uni and I kind of want to meet some people who are like working professionals or doing like trades or other things or artists or things that are a little bit different to kind of have.
I obviously have friends who already kind of meet those I don't want to say criteria.
It's not like I have a list of criteria.
But like I want to meet some new people and kind of grow through them as well and have some new experiences with them.
And I really hope that my new life in Sydney is glamorous and fun and really embodies the lyrics of Taylor Swift in her masterpiece 22.
Yeah I love that. And for you?
I think for me I want to prioritize self -care.
So I've already been working a little bit on it because of lockdown but listening to my body and doing what I feel like I need to do.
So eating what my body needs and like nourishing that.
Yeah intuitive eating like nourishing my body.
Um doing more yoga.
I want to take at least half an hour every day to like reflect.
So just like not have any distractions.
And just you know there's an option to journal or draw whatever but just like take to switch off.
Yeah. And like that is when I come to lots of epiphanies as well.
I want to get passionate as well.
I really enjoy talking about immunology and microbiology.
And although I get to promote public health in my job it's not as much talking about vaccines and having difficult conversations with people in that sort of sense.
So I want to seek out discussions and just get excited about that again because that's a way that I can expand myself out of work and just keep that conversation going.
We're so young I'm sure that you end up doing incredible things.
Maybe you'll be Chief Health Officer one day.
No my colleague wants to do that.
Oh sorry you can't take her.
Can't steal her. I don't think that's what I want to do.
I'm not sure. I might do teaching.
Oh my god you'd be an incredible teacher.
Yeah I would like that.
I would love if you were my teacher.
But I'm not that's a long way away.
I really love my job.
I love I get to work in public health and like work with proprietors and yeah build connections.
It's it's great and I didn't even know it existed until less than a year ago.
Well there's a lesson you don't you your dream job might not even you might not even know what's out there yet.
Yeah the other thing I want to do which I think everyone should do comment below if this has worked for you in the past is to follow my gut.
All of the good things that happened this year as scary as they were like I've worked at Kmart for like six years and I freaking love it and I had to stop doing that as much to get to do my full -time job and at the start of that I was like I don't want to do this like I don't want to leave Kmart.
I love it like working there so much fun.
But my gut was like no you need to do this like this is something that has to be done.
Yeah you've got to make that leap make that jump.
Is that scary? I just think like yeah that that that having that is one of my key principles and I'm gonna follow my gut and go with my intuition has helped me to realize that no matter what happens if I do that everything will be okay.
It'll either go badly and I'll learn a great lesson or it'll go great and I'll become more of the person that I want to be.
Oh my god you amaze me.
You're inspiring. And so much advice you gave to the people.
Oh the people guys.
How to buy a house, how to find your dreams, how to live your dreams.
Look under bushes that's where my cat is.
Yeah Dora will lead you there.
She's the Messiah or Pussies.
She's so beautiful.
What? It's the word.
Thank you so much for joining me Zoe.
I've dream come true.
I love you so much.
I love you as well.
We didn't really talk that much about our friendship.
I spent like 45 minutes talking about our friendship.
Who even are you? I don't know.
Do you know my middle name?
Yeah I do but I'm not gonna say it on the show.
Thank goodness. Yeah see was that a test?
Yeah. Do you know her middle name?
Yeah. What is it? Yeah she got it.
A real friend. We can stay friends now.
We should have done the green card test.
That would have been like whether we could.
Oh the marriage copy.
Yeah the marriage. I think we would have been out again.
What's my favorite ice cream flavour?
I don't think that's the question.
I don't know. Wait what's honey, honeycomb?
Probably yeah. What's mine?
Probably like a chocolate chip one.
Yeah. Yeah you can't whisper the answer.
Thanks to people I know.
Yeah guys we're so in sync we're like holding up the answers to each other.
What is my best friend's name?
Zoe. Oh my god what's your best friend's name?
Gemma. I'm gonna answer what my best friend's name is.
Yeah I will do it yourself.
Ha we always put the magnifying glass on our list.
What's my favorite colour?
Green. Yes. What's my favorite colour?
Yellow. Yes. Yay. And we didn't even tell each other that.
So where do I live?
I don't know. Nowhere right now.
I'm homeless. I'm homilay.
I'm homilay see. Anyhow thank you so much for listening and if you like this podcast if you like this episode leave us a review on Spotify.
And comment below. And comment below.
Or make a rival podcast to tell us how much you like it.
Yeah that's good. Okay well um let us know if you end up doing that in the comments below.
Ha you've done it. Or um yeah just follow us on Instagram and you can leave an actual comment there which I will probably rate.
Yeah well that makes a lot more sense.
And we love you so much.
Thanks for the support.
And I hope you love my friend as much as I love her as well.
Yay. Have a beautiful day.
Bye. This year I've been really rethinking my relationship with alcohol and so I decided to commit to dry January to really kickstart 2025 and just test myself.
Heineken 00 is the perfect companion for dry January because you feel like you're still participating when you're out for dinner with friends out for drinks whilst you're still meeting your lifestyle goals.
I'm a big beer fan so I also love the taste of Heineken 00 plus being alcohol free you can enjoy whenever refreshment calls.
Heineken 00 is available at your local Heineken retailer or for delivery at Heineken .com.
You must be 21 plus to purchase enjoy Heineken responsibly and good luck with dry January.
John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show which means he's also back in our ears on the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.
Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more.
Now this is the second term we can all get behind.
Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
