On today's episode of the Real Life English with Gabby podcast, I'm teaching you 16 phrasal verbs, slang words and expressions for arguing and resolving conflict.
You'll be learning vocabulary like squabble, lash out, patch up, throw shade, have beef with someone and more.
Let's jump right in.
Hey there, welcome to the Real Life English with Gabby podcast.
I'm your host, Gabby, your fun and friendly English teacher from the one and only New York City.
My goal is to teach you phrasal verbs, idioms and slang that will help you speak English confidently and understand real American conversations.
Are you ready to improve your English skills?
Let's jump right in.
Hey there, welcome back.
I'm so glad that you're here.
Today is part two of my series on learning how to express your opinions and learning how to argue in English.
If you haven't seen part one, which is episode number eight, make sure you listen to it right after this.
It'll give you valuable skills for expressing yourself in English.
In this episode, we continue that, but we get a little bit more specific.
In this episode, we continue with this same topic, but we get a little bit more specific.
This episode focuses on how to argue, but also how to resolve conflict.
This is very useful in relationships, because you're going to need to know the skill of resolving conflicts, forgiving someone and working out your problems.
Here are the words that I'm going to teach you today.
To blow something out of proportion.
To be at each other's throats.
Squabble, have beef with someone, lash out, stand up for an ongoing feud, throw shade to grill someone.
Smooth things over, talk things out, clear the air, patch things up, bury the hatchet or squash issues, work things out and make up.
Today's vocabulary is a really nice mix of slang, phrasal verbs, and idioms and expressions.
This is one of those topics that has a lot of slang associated with it, which is really beneficial for you.
Remember that American English doesn't really focus on formal and informal speech.
For example, I could be speaking to my manager and using slang.
It's not really... inappropriate to do that.
The only time that we really emphasize formal English is if we're writing academic essays.
So if you're in university and you're writing some kind of academic essay, then that's really one of the few times that you would not use slang or phrasal verbs.
You would use idioms and expressions.
But that's really the only time where it's not really the norm to use informal English.
Again, formality in American English is really not important.
If you want to really understand American TV shows movies interviews, songs and if you want to understand Americans in real life outside of the classroom, you have to know slang, phrasal verbs and idioms and expressions.
And that's actually why...
I created this podcast because I've been a teacher for over 12 years now.
And when students come to my class from all over the world, they love that I teach them idioms and phrasal verbs and slang, because these are things that they did not learn back in their countries in textbooks.
So they feel like they come here to New York City, where I am, and they do not understand what people are saying on the street, or they're watching a TV show like Friends or How I Met Your Mother, or Stranger Things, and they're really struggling to understand.
That is why it is so important to learn these types of vocabulary words.
If this is your first time here I just want to say welcome.
Just to briefly explain what happens on this podcast.
I introduce the new vocabulary using a story that shows the words being used in real life contexts.
After that, I explain all of the vocabulary and give extra examples.
And then after that, you go home and you practice with the episode study guide.
Yes, that's right.
I create free study guides for every episode and they include the transcript definitions, new examples and practice activities.
To get the study guide, just go to the show notes and click the link.
Also, please, if you can, leave me a review.
I would love some feedback and I would love to read reviews from you.
Leaving reviews helps the podcast to reach more people who need it.
So thanks so much for all of you who've already left reviews, and thank you to those of you who are going to leave reviews in the future.
By the way, fun fact.
All of the characters in my stories are based on real students that I've had over the past 12 years.
My students are very special to me, and I keep in contact with most of them.
So if you're my former student and you hear your name, guess what?
I'm thinking of you.
All right.
Are you ready for this story?
Here we go.
Mariana and Daniela had been best friends since high school.
However, after an unfortunate situation that was blown out of proportion involving Daniela's brother, the girls have been at each other's throats.
So how did this squabble even begin?
What events led up to these former best friends having beef with each other and deciding to end their friendship?
Unfortunately, Daniela's brother Tommaso, borrowed 200 from Mariana and still hasn't paid her back.
After asking for the money several times, Mariana ended up lashing out at Tomaso.
Instead of standing up for Mariana, Daniela stood up for Tomaso.
Daniela promised Mariana that Tomaso would pay her back soon.
But Mariana really needed the money, so she was very upset about this whole situation.
She felt betrayed that Daniela took her brother's side instead of her side.
All of this happened... three months ago.
Since then, things have gotten worse and they aren't even speaking anymore.
This ongoing feud has negatively impacted their entire friendship group.
Mariana and Daniela are always throwing shade at each other and grilling each other any time they're in the same place.
It has become so bad that their friends don't want to spend time with either of them anymore.
For this reason...
Their friends decided to intervene and tried to figure out ways to smooth things over between them.
Their friends realized that they only had one choice get both girls together in one place alone so that they could talk things out and clear the air.
One of the girls named Patricia decided to invite both girls over to her home and put them in a room so that they could finally patch up their relationship and bury the hatchet.
As soon as they both arrived, Patricia brought them up to the room and said You two are being ridiculous and are destroying our whole friendship group.
Either work things out or we won't hang out with either of you anymore.
So the girls decided to listen to their friends and try to squash the issues between them.
After an hour and some shouting, crying and hugging, they came out of the room and told everyone that they had made up.
They were back to being best friends.
The best part was that Tomaso also apologized. and finally gave Mariana her $200 back.
Her whole group of friends were happy to have helped resolve this conflict between the girls.
And they lived happily ever after because Mariana decided she was never going to lend anyone money again.
Have you ever been in a situation like this, where you and your best friend or close friend had a huge conflict?
I've definitely been there before, and so I know how important it is to express yourself clearly in English.
Let's go through some of these definitions and examples.
First, we see the expression blow something out of proportion.
In the story, it mentions that the whole situation was blown out of proportion.
This means that a situation is exaggerated or it seemed bigger or more serious than it really is.
Next, we see that it says the girls were at each other's throats.
This is a really interesting idiom and it means to be in a state of intense conflict and hostility.
Hatred anger, a lot of negative feelings.
So we often say, oh my gosh, they've been fighting so much.
They're always at each other's throats.
Next, we see that this fight or argument is called a squabble.
Squabble is a pretty high level word in American English and it means some kind of argument or fight.
A lot of times it's something that's noisy.
So if people are actually arguing with each other, we say, oh my gosh, I can hear them squabbling.
Normally, a squabble is about something that's small and not extremely serious.
For example, the brothers were squabbling over who would get the TV remote.
It's also said that they have beef with each other.
This is really interesting slang.
It has nothing to do with food, okay?
Having beef with someone is just unresolved conflict.
It's a disagreement or what we say a grudge when you're holding anger towards someone in your heart.
This is having beef.
We use this all the time.
So we say, oh, wow, they have beef with each other or they got beef with each other.
Very big part of New York slang.
It's used everywhere in the United States.
But in New York, we love using this slang to describe people who are fighting with each other.
The story says that Mariana lashed out at Tommaso.
This means to react angrily or violently.
A lot of times, this is when your emotions take control, so you don't think about what you do before you do it and you lash out.
You scream, you yell, you are visibly upset, and you're showing your anger.
The next one is stand up for.
Stand up for is a three-word phrasal verb.
I'm sure you've heard this one before because this one is extremely common.
Stand up for someone means to support someone or defend someone or something.
So the story says that Daniela stood up for her brother instead of standing up for Mariana.
So this means that she supported her brother.
Next, we see the expression an ongoing feud.
This is really a collocation.
These words appear together quite often in English.
Something that's ongoing is still going.
It has not stopped.
It is continuing.
And the word feud is a more academic way to say fight or conflict.
So an ongoing feud is a conflict that is going on for a long time.
Some kind of fight that hasn't ended yet.
Next, we see that in the story, it describes how the girls act toward each other in public.
And it mentions two slang expressions.
The first one is throwing shade.
This is to publicly criticize or mock someone.
And it could be indirectly.
For example, if I see someone I don't like, and I don't like what they're wearing, I might say not everyone looks good tonight, because I am, in a passive, aggressive way, insulting that person's outfit.
Now the next expression.
So it says that they were throwing shade at each other and they were grilling each other.
Every time they saw each other in public.
Grill has a few different meanings in English.
To grill someone does not mean to cook them on a barbecue grill, okay?
That's one definition of grill. to cook food on a grill.
However, it actually has two slang meanings, which is very interesting.
Normally, things don't have two slang meanings.
Okay.
So firstly, to grill someone in the context we see it in the story is when you stare at someone or look at someone for a long time, but in a bad way.
We also call this a dirty look.
For the ladies that are listening to this I know this has happened to you before where maybe there's another woman who's jealous of you or someone you have problems with and they look at you with a super mean look.
We also have an expression if looks could kill, I'd be dead, because someone's looking at you like they want to kill you.
That's what it means to grill someone.
To look at someone in a really angry way and stare at them the whole night.
You're just looking over at them.
You're rolling your eyes and you're giving them a dirty look.
Now, the other meaning of grill someone that's also slang is to interrogate someone or to ask them a lot of questions very intensely.
Imagine that when you were a teenager, you came home two hours late and you didn't tell your parents where you were.
They're going to ask you, where were you?
Who were you with?
Why are you late?
Why didn't you call us?
It's also compared to how the police ask criminals questions.
It's one, two, three, four, like back-to-back questions.
This is the other meaning of grilling someone.
So an example here would be my parents grilled me for an hour about why I came home late from the party.
All right, the next few phrasal verbs that I'm going to tell you all mean the same thing.
These are all used to resolve conflict.
Some of them are more specific than others, but most of these mean to resolve conflict.
The first phrasal verb is to talk things out.
This means to discuss your problems and resolve issues through conversation.
So if someone's going to talk things out, they're probably going to sit down with someone and have a very long conversation where everyone's opinion is heard and everything happens through conversation.
Next, we have to clear the air.
This is not a phrasal verb.
It's an expression.
But clear the air means to correct any confusion that come from miscommunication.
So you talk about things openly and you fix any kind of miscommunication.
So a lot of conflict happens because people do not communicate clearly or someone's words got twisted.
They were taken the wrong way.
So clear the air is to just get all of your feelings out in the open and fixing any miscommunication.
Next, we have the phrasal verb patch up.
We say patch things up.
This means to repair, reconcile, or fix a damaged relationship.
Patch things up in the literal sense is if I'm wearing a shirt and my shirt rips and now there's a hole.
I can take it to the tailor and they will patch up my shirt.
They're going to fix the damage.
So we use it the same way when we talk about conflict.
We are fixing the damage, trying to repair the relationship.
Next, we have the expression bury the hatchet.
This expression actually means the same thing as the other expression, which is to squash the issues.
All right, so let's talk about this.
Both of these expressions or idioms mean to make peace with someone or resolve conflict.
Bury the hatchet.
The word bury means to put something under the ground.
Some cultures bury people after they die, and some people can also bury treasure or bury valuables.
This is very common to use.
Let's bury the hatchet.
Let's get all of this behind us.
Now to squash issues means the same thing.
This is just a little bit more slang.
To squash something is to press it or flatten.
So when you want to squash drama, you want to squash beef, you want to squash issues or problems.
It means that you're crushing it.
You're getting rid of it.
So we can say oh, I'm so glad you guys decided to bury the hatchet, or I'm really happy that you guys squashed all the issues between you.
The last two words are phrasal verbs.
The first one is work out and we typically put the object in the middle or at the end.
In this context, it means to resolve a problem.
Of course, you've also heard it mean exercise and it also means to find a solution.
I need to work out this math problem.
Like I'm sitting there taking a math test.
I need to work this out.
I need to figure it out, find a solution.
But in this context, it means to resolve a problem.
So I'm so happy they worked things out because they were broken up for three months.
Lastly, we have another phrasal verb.
Make up.
In this context, make up means to fix the relationship, to make the relationship happen again after the relationship has been broken.
I could say, my friends were fighting, but thankfully they made up or they made up with each other.
There you go.
You just learned 16 really popular words.
As I mentioned before, expressing opinions and resolving conflict and debating in healthy ways is so important in American culture because we do it all the time.
I really hope that you get the study guide so that you can keep studying it, because my goal for you is to be able to use these words regularly, naturally and confidently in your everyday English.
So hopefully you'll do that.
Because remember, if you don't practice, you'll never remember and you'll never get to use these words.
Well, that's a wrap for today's episode of the Real Life English with Gabby podcast.
Be sure to download today's study guide so that you can learn how to use this vocabulary confidently.
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Thanks so much for tuning in.
