Hey Story Pirates podcast listeners!
Peter here and boy are you lucky.
So lucky! The luckiest in fact because today I have used my exceptionally good taste and keen eye for hilarity to choose two of my favorite stories from the Story Pirates archives.
We're calling it Peter's picks.
You're gonna love these two stories and you'll be very interested to hear why I picked them.
Coming up right after a few words for the grown -ups.
We want to hear your kids do years resolutions.
We'll be sharing resolutions from kids on our social media so if your kid has created one whether serious or totally silly we want to hear from you.
Fill out our story submission form at story pirates dot com slash podcast or DM us on Instagram.
I'm very different from everybody.
Confusion is the step for curiosity.
Okay that's a really funny idea we have to send that in.
I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling.
I believe all the things in that story.
Human beings are just able to create.
Welcome back to Peter's picks.
Now my first pick is a classic story pirate story called Chicken on a Motorcycle written by two hilarious brothers Mason and Stanford.
This story from the very beginning had it all.
These brothers wrote in a full backstory for the superhero that is chicken on a motorcycle and not only that wrote in a repeated theme song.
It felt like an old timey action adventure cereal that you might hear on the radio in the 40s so we took the style and energy that was right there on the page and we threw it onto the podcast.
If you've never heard this one before you're in for a treat and here are the authors to introduce it.
We're from Arizona.
This is our story Chicken on a motorcycle.
Look it's a bird. It's a plane.
No it's definitely a bird.
Oh sorry my bad yes that's definitely a chicken.
Yeah he's riding a motorcycle.
Boy I really misread that one.
He's a chicken on a motorcycle chicken on a motorcycle chicken on a motorcycle.
Welcome back to the continuing adventures of chicken on a motorcycle.
Today's episode where Eagles drive.
Hello hello yes members of the press I'm here to address the recent crime spree that our fair city has suffered at the hands of those evil cars and their evil friends the evil Eagles.
Now I assure you that there is nothing to worry about.
We have our finest superhero on the case chicken on a motorcycle.
I'll take some questions yes yes Harold.
Is it true that chicken with a motorcycle came to earth from outer space?
And is it also true that he now speaks all languages?
And did he not come from two regular chicken parents but he wanted to be more than just a chicken so one day he stole a pizza man's motorized scooter and turned himself into the superhero that we now all know and love?
Yes yes and yes of course.
We all know his backstory why did you even ask?
Frankly those were wasted questions.
Anyway is there anything else?
Mr. Mayor how is chicken on a motorcycle going to handle all this car and eagle crime?
Ah yes thank you a much more relevant question.
As for those evil cars?
Did someone say evil cars?
It's the evil cars!
That's right and we're here to kidnap the mayor!
Whoa whoa whoa who will save us?
I will! That's right and I'm here to put an end to your evil four -wheeled ways.
I'm taking all you cars to the impound!
I've got a better idea how about we chase you?
Oh no I didn't see that one coming.
All right motorcycle let's drive away!
After him boys! No chicken on a motorcycle don't leave us!
Get back here you chicken!
You can't outdrive us!
Watch me come on motorcycle we got to lose these evil cars to the desert!
Motorcycle watch out for those camels!
Whoa that was close!
Did we lose them? I have to try harder than that to lose us!
Quick motorcycle to the jungle!
Motorcycle watch out for those monkeys!
Whoa that was close!
Did we lose them? Oh man let's try the ocean!
Motorcycle watch out for those krill!
Wow that was close!
There's no way those cars could still be!
Right behind you? Oh come on!
Let's try one more place they'll never think to look.
The suburbs! Looks like we finally lost them!
Oh did you? Evil cars my worst enemies!
We've got you cornered now chicken on a motorcycle!
What are you gonna do?
Let's show them boys!
Eagle! Eagle! Eagle!
Oh no it's my real worst enemy!
An eagle! That's right it's me!
And evil evil! Evil cars!
Evil evil cars! Evil evil cars!
And now a hope is surely gone!
Get them cars! Oh no motorcycle all hope is lost!
Who will save us? Look it's a bird!
It's a plane! Jerry no it is clearly a bird again!
Oh right sorry that's a duck!
Yes and he's playing a trumpet!
That's right I'm a duck and I've got a trumpet!
Duck with a trumpet!
My true only best friend and the only other little or non -flying bird not in the arctic that normal people know about!
Um what is it? Oh it doesn't matter there's nothing that this duck can do to stop me and the evil cars!
Eagle I think you're forgetting the one thing that makes cars blow up!
What? What makes cars blow up?
Why jazz of course!
Huh? A quack quack quack.
Jazz! Jazz! Jazz! Those cars blow up when they hear jazz!
Oh no! Oh that jazz blew up my cars!
That's it! I don't need a gang of evil cars to defeat a chicken and a duck!
I'm an eagle and nothing can stop me!
Oh yeah? What about more jazz?
Chicken! Where'd you get that saxophone?
I found it! A quack quack quack!
More jazz! More jazz!
More jazz! That evil eagle hates the jazz!
Ah! Too much jazz! I'm out of here!
I'll get you next time!
Chicken on a motorcycle!
We did it! You certainly did chicken on a motorcycle!
Mr. Mayor! And you duck with a trumpet!
Don't thank me! Thank jazz!
Oh I think we can all agree that that was too much jazz!
Wow that really was too much jazz!
The end! I'll be back with another of my picks right after a few words for the grown -ups!
In a quest for survival and a safe passage home.
From the directors of Spider -Man No Way Home and The Mandalorian, climb aboard, join the crew, and catch Skeleton Crew, now streaming with new episodes Tuesdays.
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Welcome back. Now my second pick for this inaugural Peter's picks episode is the Unlucky Man.
Now what I love about this story that the author Mia wrote is that the main character Dave could not have a clearer and funnier game.
Game? What am I talking about?
Like a board game or a sports game?
No, a comedy game. Sometimes when we read a story, we're looking for a character that has a clear funny thing about them.
And in this instance, Dave, the main character, his game is being the unluckiest person on the planet.
When a character's got a fun clear game, all you need to do is point them in the direction of an adventure and see how that game reacts to all the obstacles that you throw in the character's way.
For Dave, it means things get worse and worse and worse.
And for us, it gets funnier and funnier and funnier.
As you shall soon see.
Here's the author to introduce it.
Hi, my name is Mia.
I'm 10 years old and I'm from Massachusetts.
This is my story, The Unlucky Man.
Some people are lucky but this guy's not.
He's Dave, the unlucky man.
Hi, I'm Dave. Oh shoot.
Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I break the microphone?
No, that is my bad.
He's Dave, the unlucky man.
Hello, welcome to Ralph's rest stop.
The only rest stop for the next 400 miles.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
Could I use your restroom, please?
Oh, of course you could.
Oh, thank goodness.
If it weren't permanently clogged.
Permanently? Oh, Dave, what an unlucky man.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.
Well, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice you nervously trying to cross this deserted desert road.
Ah, yes. You see, whenever I try to cross the street, I always somehow manage to get splashed by a passing car.
Well, I don't think you have to worry about that here.
You're right, of course.
I don't see a car for miles and there certainly aren't any bottles.
Oh man, what an unlucky Dave.
Hello and welcome to my fancy bookshop.
Wow. You certainly have a lot of books in here.
Yes, and they're all very rare and expensive.
I'll be sure to be careful.
I'll just take a look at this one book here at the end of this very long single shelf.
What? No, my book, the shelf.
You're toppling over like dominoes.
Somehow, every shelf, even shelf, not anywhere near the other shelves.
How? Oh no, my lamp has caught fire and it's ready to go to my books.
My books are ablaze.
I have never seen a fire spread so quickly.
Oh, thank goodness, the sprinklers, they're putting out the fire, somehow making it worse.
Oh, it's too late. My books, my beautiful books are nothing but watery ash.
Complete destruction, complete devastation.
I'm ruined. I'm ruined.
Why? And how much for this one?
Get out. He's Dave, the unlucky man.
Oh, finally. I'm home.
The one place where things aren't quite so unlucky, especially up here in my attic.
What was I doing up here anyway?
Oh, right. I was just going to store my summer clothes for the season and then head on down with my fall sweaters.
All right, time to head back down to...
Oh, great. Looks like I've locked myself in my attic, again.
I guess there's nothing to do, but sit down on this old dusty trunk and wait for someone to...
Oh, just my luck. When will my fortune change?
If only someone would give me a sign.
Hey, what's this? An old map?
This is it, the sign I was looking for.
I'm going to follow this map just as soon as this attic door that's holding all of my weight decides that it wants to open up for...
Ow! Well, time to start my quest for luck.
So Dave went on a quest to find some luck and that's exactly what he did not find in a dark cave filled with bats.
So Dave waited through a muddy swamp and crossed a great green meadow and the number of snake bites he received was quite a bit more than zero.
So many snakes, now stop it!
Then birds started pecking his head, yeah, birds started pecking his head.
Birds started pecking his head, started pecking his head, started pecking his head, started pecking his head.
They kept pecking his head.
He really can't even imagine how much those birds liked pecking his head.
And just when you thought that the birds would stop pecking his head, stop pecking his head.
They started pecking his head again.
Birds started pecking his head, yeah, birds started pecking his head.
Okay! I think we get it.
Okay, they're done.
Okay, okay, okay. I've reached the end of the map, but I don't see anything here.
Hello, Dave. So you've come to find some luck, eh?
Yeah, how'd you know that?
Lucky guess, I guess.
But it seems like you - Before you are two potions.
One will make you the luckiest person alive and the other will make you - Yes?
It will make you a normal amount of lucky.
Oh, oh, you know what?
That's actually a pretty win -win for me.
Uh, I guess I'll take the one on the right.
All right, here you go.
And good luck. Oh, shoot.
I was supposed to disappear in that puff of smoke.
Oh, well. I'll just walk into my house the door's right here.
Anyway, good luck. Okay, here goes nothing.
All right, now to turn around and head home.
Hopefully, my return trip won't be as unlucky.
Here I go! So Dave headed down the mountain, but only a few birds pecked his head.
And he only got a single snake fight, and that cave full of bats was only sort of half full of bats.
And now he's back! Hello and welcome back to Ralph's Rest Stop.
Wow, you look like you've been on quite an adventure.
I sure have! It looks like some birds were pecking at your head.
Only an average amount!
And is that a snake bite?
Only one! Can you believe it?
Have you been in a cave full of bats?
Hardly! It was barely half full!
I feel like the luckiest man in the world!
Honestly, that sounds like an average amount of luck at best.
And with average luck, I'm ready to take on the world!
But first, I don't suppose your permanently clogged bathroom is fixed?
Well, it turns out my friend that today is your lucky day!
It's fixed! Wow! What incredible luck!
Here I go! Oh, I should warn you, though, that the bathroom is...
full of birds! Boy, bad luck!
He's Dave the unlucky man!
The end! Ow! Thanks for listening to Peter's Picks, and a big thanks to today's authors, Mason, Stanford and Mia!
We'll be back later in the week with another brand -new episode!
Until then, stay creative and stay kind!
Bye!
