Lemonada.
Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here.
On today's episode, Lee and Niminy discover a very strange house.
Not a haunted house, mind you, but a curious house.
And it features a fantastic comedian who we love, Glo Tavares.
We also have two brand new stories written by kids and more story love with Lee and Peter.
And it's all coming up after a few words for the grownups.
Yeah, yeah, smoke detector.
I got so obsessed with building the ultimate bicycle toaster that I accidentally filled the ship with smoke and everyone had to evacuate.
I know.
Niminy, you know the smoke detector can't hear you, right?
Actually, it can.
I built in that feature.
Why?
Because I can, Lee.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back on the ship and keep working.
Look, sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses.
And by stop and smell the roses I mean stop and evacuate the ship that's full of smoke from trying to build a fancy microwave.
Toaster.
Either way, the important thing is that everyone's okay and now we all get a chance to stretch our legs and explore the area while the ship airs out.
Fine.
I guess taking a break isn't the worst thing.
Where should we go?
Well, Megan and Eric headed north towards that artsy village.
Rachel, Rolo and Baby with a Mustache went south towards the waterfall trail and Peter went west to chase that cloud shaped like a pork chop.
So let's head east.
Okay.
You know, you're right.
It is nice to just take a walk sometimes.
Huh.
There's not much in this direction, just trees and hills.
Huh.
Maybe there's something interesting behind that giant weird mansion.
Wait giant, weird mansion.
Whoa, this is the biggest house i've ever seen.
And is that a water slide going from the third floor to the first floor?
And is that one room upside down?
Gasp niminy, i know what this is.
I heard rumors it was nearby, but i didn't believe it until i saw it with my own eyes.
What is it, lee?
It's the Triumph Footer Curious House, a strange mansion built by Frank Triumph Footer, the eccentric owner of the Triumph Footer Hot Dog Company.
Oh, yeah.
I heard about this.
Didn't he fill the house with all sorts of weird and whimsical rooms?
Yes.
He was constantly expanding it.
And every summer he would open the doors to the public so that they could enjoy his newest additions.
But then one day, without warning, the doors were chained up and it never reopened.
What happened?
Nobody knows.
But there have been reports of weird noises coming from the house.
Did you hear that?
Sounded like construction inside.
That's impossible.
No one's ever been seen coming in or out.
But some people think the house might be haunted.
Haunted?
Don't be ridiculous.
Help me.
And right on cue comes the spooky moaning.
Well, I'm out of here.
See ya.
Lee, no.
Someone needs our help.
What if it's Frank Triumph footer and he's in trouble?
All right, let's go inside.
But if it turns out to be a ghost, I'm going to scream in a really annoying way.
It just filled me up with joy.
My mom loves the jokes.
Yo, yo, my check.
It made me very proud about my writing.
Let me think.
I definitely think I can be more creative now.
I'm the champion.
The Story Pirates.
Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast.
Where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs.
And sometimes we hear a spooky moaning noise from a big weird house and instead of running away, we try to break in to see if we can help.
This rusty old padlock has seen better days.
I bet I can break it open.
Lee, find me a rock, would you?
Sure, let me see.
Where's a good rock?
Here's one.
Oh, thank you, mysterious lady dressed all in white like a ghost.
You're very welcome.
Wait, a ghost?!
!
So sorry, I'm not really a ghost, but did I scare you?
You screamed in a very annoying way, so I wasn't sure how to read it.
Yes, you did scare me.
And would you say that this experience was fun?
Did I fill you with whimsy?
Delight?
More like abject terror.
Oh, shoot.
Winifred Triumfutter, when will you get it right?
Winifred Triumfutter?
So you're... Yes, I'm the daughter of the great hot dog man himself, Frank Triumphooter.
Oh, how I miss my Frank father.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sure your father is in a better place.
Oh, he is.
He's retired and on a years-long trip around the world.
Calls it his triumph trip.
Last I heard, he was somewhere in Azerbaijan.
Beautiful this time of year.
So you're the one making all that noise.
Do you need help?
Who, me?
No, no, I'm fine.
Why would you even think that?
We heard someone moaning, help me.
Wasn't that you?
Oh, yeah, that.
Sorry.
It's just something I scream to myself for fun while I attempt to build the ultimate room.
The ultimate room.
What does that mean?
Oh, just a lifelong mission to create the most fun and whimsical room to live up to my father's legacy.
You know blah blah blah, same old, same old, no big deal.
Okay, we definitely have some follow-up questions, but first, maybe we should do a story.
A story?
Yeah, we adapt stories written by kids.
Into rooms?
No.
Oh, then I don't understand.
Just listen.
Okay.
Here to introduce their story is the author.
Hi, my name's Mia.
I'm nine years old and I live in England.
This is my story, Penny the Multi-Talented Girl.
And now for the final end of semester award.
This one is very special because it's decided by all of you.
The award for person in the classroom I'd most like to be friends with goes to Penny.
That's the fifth award Penny's gotten.
She really is multi-talented.
Here you are, Penny.
Thanks, Miss Hollenbeck.
No, thank you, Penny.
I don't know why I said that.
But Penny, I've never done this before in 30 years of teaching.
But would you like to, I don't know, give a speech?
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Go ahead, Penny.
Thank you, Ms.
Hollenbach.
And thank you to all my classmates.
I may have just won a ton of end of semester awards, but the real prize is getting to spend every day in the classroom with all of you.
These are our awards, y'all, so give yourself a round of applause.
How did she make me feel like a winner during her winner's speech?
Incredible.
Thank you all.
Yay!
Wow, Penny.
You have so many friends because you're so good at everything.
Thanks, voice in my mind.
Too bad none of them would want to be your friend if you weren't multi-talented.
What?
What do you mean?
Nothing.
I just wondered what they'd think of you if you weren't getting all these awards.
Penny?
Huh?
What?
Did you want to say something else?
It looked like you were talking.
Oh, no.
I'm good.
I was just, uh, itching my teeth.
Ugh, there's the lunch bell.
Bye, Miss Hollenbeck!
See ya, kids!
Now to go to my teacher's lunch and tell them all about Penny.
Itching my teeth.
That is so cool.
I gotta look that up.
Ah, lunch.
Where should I sit?
Hey, Penny.
Come sit by me.
Penny, over here.
Okay.
No, Penny.
You said you were going to eat with us today, remember?
Oh, you're right, Kim.
Sorry, y'all.
I'll eat with you soon.
Totally fine.
Thanks, Penny.
Wow, Penny.
Your lunch looks amazing.
So does yours, Kim.
That's nice of you to say, but I always just throw a bunch of random ingredients in my lunch bag.
I never know how to put things together.
I bet you know.
You're so multi-talented.
Yeah, Penny.
Show her how perfect you are.
No, voice in my head.
I'll show you.
I'll make a mistake on purpose, and you'll see that everyone likes me for me.
Sorry, what'd you say, Penny?
I said, uh, have you tried stacking them randomly like this?
Wow, that's different.
Let me try it.
This is incredible.
I never would have guessed that the jello cup would work so well with the cheese slices.
It's the best tasting lunch I've ever had.
Oh, no.
I was trying to make a mistake.
Could you do my lunch too, Penny?
Sure.
I'll make this one terrible.
Here.
Wow.
Pomegranate seeds in hot sauce.
So tasty.
Oh, not again.
And mine.
Oh, garbanzo beans and cider.
Deliciosa.
What?
This totally backfired.
Three cheers for Penny!
Penny!
Penny!
Penny!
See, Penny, they don't actually like you.
They like that you can give them a delicious lunch.
Poor Penny.
Everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.
Do you really think that's true, voice in my mind?
Penny, are you okay?
Your lips were moving as you stared at the window just now.
Or were your teeth itchy again?
That's so cool.
Will you teach my teeth to be itchy?
Ah, shoot.
That's recess.
Okay, y'all.
We're choosing teams for today's soccer game.
Kim and I are captains, and I'm picking first, so I pick...
Thanks, Max.
And since we established last week that each team gets to do one steal, I'm going to use that now to steal Penny for my team.
Okay, thanks, Kim.
So then it's my turn, and I'm gonna use my steal to steal Penny back.
Okay.
Ugh, fine.
The rest of you just divide yourselves equally and whoever can be on my team.
Not like it matters anymore.
Friends, we can't all be on Penny's team.
Some of you are just going to have to come over to my team.
I'm not happy about it either.
But that's soccer for you.
Okay, let's get started.
Penny will do the kickoff.
Oh, here's my chance to not be perfect.
I'm going to act like I'm doing a big kick and then totally whiff it.
Penny, you okay?
Yeah, I got this, Max.
All the way to the whiff factory.
Here goes nothing.
Oof.
Whoa!
Penny got a goal on her first kick.
What?
Nice shot, Penny.
Oh, no.
Not you again.
I'm getting out of here.
Penny, where are you going?
We've got another kickoff.
See, Penny?
Max only wants to be your friend because he thinks you can help him win.
All you have to do is never stop winning.
Penny?
What's going on?
Go ahead without me.
I gotta run inside for a minute and return this library book that's overdue.
Oh, don't worry about it.
You can keep the book, Penny.
Mr. Nevins, the librarian?
What are you doing out here?
It's just so fun to watch you play.
Seriously, team?
Go ahead without me.
I'll be right back.
Phew.
In the classroom by myself, finally.
All this artwork on the wall, and mine has a blue ribbon.
The science experiments on the shelf, and mine won first place.
The history dioramas, and mine is the only one that hasn't melted or gotten faded by the sun.
I know all this stuff should make me feel good, but it just makes me wonder if anyone actually likes me for who I am instead of what I do.
Maybe I'll never know.
Of course you'll never know, Penny.
You?
How did you...
Get in here.
In your head.
I'm always here, Penny.
I'm the closest thing you've got to a real friend.
You okay, Penny?
Oh, hey there, Max.
You look blue.
But that might be paint, since you're so good at everything.
Including art.
Okay.
I'm okay, Max.
That's right.
Don't tell him the truth.
He's not really interested in what you're feeling anyway.
You've made that clear.
Who are you talking to, Penny?
Oh, well, I've been talking to myself.
Don't tell him that.
He doesn't need to know about our conversations.
But it doesn't seem to be helping.
Well, you can talk to me if you want.
He doesn't mean it.
That's what friends are for, right?
Yeah.
I guess so.
No.
Stop it right there.
Don't you dare tell him what's really on your mind.
Seriously, Max?
I'm a bit sad.
I feel like everybody's my friend just because I'm good at everything.
Well, even if that is true... That is true!
I like you for who you are.
Isn't that enough?
I never asked myself that question.
Because you know the answer.
You're right.
What?
I've got you and that's all I need.
Thanks, Penny.
Hey, are we best friends?
If that's okay with you.
Oh my gosh, totally.
Not a best friend who likes you no matter what.
Self-acceptance is my only weakness.
I don't think I'll be hearing from you anytime soon, voice in my head.
Everyone, I have an announcement.
Two Penny speeches in one day.
Oh boy, are we lucky.
Go ahead, Penny.
Y'all, I know you admire me and even like me for all the things I can do well, but I need true friends who like me for myself.
Not what I could do, but who I am inside.
Whoa, Penny.
Penny, that's wild.
But I think I know what you mean.
Here the whole time, I've been putting you up on a pedestal because you're good at everything.
When really, I should have been thinking about what you're like.
Same goes for me.
And me.
And me.
Mr. Nevins?
I should really get back to the library.
Wow, now that that's settled, what should we do?
Should we all jump up and shout, the end, in sync?
Uh, yeah.
The end.
That story was absolutely incredible.
It was fantastic.
So fun.
So whimsical.
That's just the inspiration I needed to keep working.
Sorry, what exactly are you working on?
Can you fill us in on the backstory?
I suppose.
It was my father's vision.
He loved this community so much.
So to give back, he decided to use his hot dog fortune to turn our house into a fun house.
Oh, so it's a fun house?
No, it's not a fun house.
It's a fun house.
There's a difference.
What's the difference?
No idea.
That's part of the problem.
You see, it all started one summer when Father decided to open a free hot dog stand attached to the side of the house.
The community loved it so much that he felt like he had to outdo himself the next year, which he did with the addition of the aquarium water park room.
And then the next year it was a zero gravity room.
And then so on and then so on and then so on and then so on.
Wow, that sounds incredible.
It was.
Every summer.
He wouldn't open the doors for the season until he had outdone himself with a new, fun-filled room.
After he retired, the house was left to me and I vowed to keep the doors closed until I have built my own fun-filled room.
That is ultimate.
And how's it going?
Well...
That was 20 years ago, so not great.
Turns out I did not inherit my father's instinct for what makes things fun.
You've been in this house building new rooms for 20 years and no one's seen any of them?
That's right.
Why don't you let us take a look?
What?
What if you don't like what I've done?
What if you feel that I've made things worse?
How could we?
We never saw the original house.
Come on, I'm sure it's great.
Oh, all right.
It's gotta happen sometime.
Yes!
Here, I'll unlock the door for you.
Welcome to the fun and whimsical... Curious House.
Was that a wolf howl?
Yes, you should probably avoid the wolf room.
That one's not done.
Noted.
See you on the other side.
I can't watch.
Good luck.
I hope I see you again.
Wait, what do you mean you hope?
All these cobwebs and construction equipment in the front hall don't exactly scream whimsical, do they?
No.
Oh, look, there's the first room.
The door is labeled the trip room.
Oh, we're going on a trip like a little amusement park ride to tour the house.
So cool.
Let's go.
Huh.
It seems like a normal room to me.
Maybe I... Whoa!
Ooh, Lee, are you okay?
Yeah, I tripped on this floorboard.
Here, let me help you.
Whoa!
Niminy, are you okay?
I tripped on the edge of this carpet.
That's funny.
We both tripped in the... trip room.
Oh, no.
This room is not fun.
Maybe we should crawl to the next door?
Good idea.
Okay, we're here.
Let's get up.
This next one is called the, hey, it's the hot dog room.
This must be the original one that Winifred told us about.
Great.
Let's go.
Hot dogs, here we come.
Is this just a very warm room full of panting dogs?
Hot dogs.
You have got to be kidding me.
Who would find this fun?
Hiya!
Hot dog room, right?
Fun?
Fun?
You guys having fun?
Yeah!
So fun!
I read somewhere that people like puns.
Anyway, gotta clear out these dogs.
It's only safe to have them in a room this hot for about 30 seconds at a time.
Come on, dogs!
I am so glad you're loving the tour.
What a relief.
Keep going.
I'm not even here.
Lee?
Me too, Niminy.
Me too.
We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-ups.
Lee!
We've been in this house for hours, and these fun rooms keep getting less fun.
I don't know.
They weren't all terrible.
I kind of like the pick up your room room.
The one where we just have to clean up a teenager's bedroom.
There was at least a nostalgia factor to it.
What about the snowshoes allowed room in which we were just allowed to wear snowshoes?
I still think that one would have been good if the room had actually provided snowshoes.
And how about the home room?
Oh yeah, that room where the guy just gave us an hour-long lecture about when to use who versus whom.
I mean, whom did he think he was?
Who?
That guy.
No, who did he think he was?
Exactly.
No, I didn't mean... Who are you talking about?
Whom?
The guy!
No, it's... This is the least fun house I've ever been in.
Did I hear?
This is the most fun house I've ever been in.
Oh, well.
Oh, you have no idea how happy that makes me.
If you can believe it, I was worried that some of these rooms were not so fun, even a bit boring.
And I'm not just talking about the boring room in which I made you bore holes into those old logs.
You really went all in on the puns, huh?
And it paid off.
Oh, I'm so excited for you to see these last year rooms.
You're going to love them.
This is the last time I interrupt.
I promise.
Good luck.
Well, look whom.
The cat's dragged in.
Cool it, Reggie.
It's just me.
Who?
All right.
We're in the homestretch.
Let's hope that this is the last door.
Huh.
It says a room full of quicksand.
What do you think that means?
Well, if we've learned anything, it's probably a pun.
But what's the pun?
Is there a bunch of quick-witted sand in there?
Or a sandpaper race?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Yeah, it's not like the room's just going to be full of quicksand.
Let's go!
This room is just full of quicksand.
Yeah, it is.
And we're sinking?
Yep.
Should we be panicking right now?
Not sure what else we could do.
All right, I'll start.
Help!
Help us!
We're in quicksand!
Ah!
How can anyone think this is fun?
This is the least fun thing I could think of.
We never should have come in here.
You're right.
This house is a disaster.
Oh, no.
We're sinking fast.
We're about to go under.
Hold your breath.
Ah!
What just happened?
I think we just got dumped into a room below the quicksand room.
I did not enjoy that.
Look, there's a door that says staff only.
Oh, thank goodness.
A normal room.
Let's go in.
Whoa.
What is this place?
This looks like Frank Triumph-Footer's old office.
Look at all these pictures on the wall.
It's the grand opening of the Curious House.
And look over here.
It's a statue of the original Triumph Footer Hot Dog Company mascot.
And wow, look at all these perfectly preserved scale models of all the Curious House rooms that Frank built.
All this stuff has been so beautifully preserved.
Yeah, this room is fun.
It's too bad the rest of the house is so unfun.
Did you say unfun?
Winifred, uh, we meant, um, your rooms are really, really, uh...
I'm sorry.
We have to be honest.
This was the least fun house we've ever been in.
I see.
Well, that's that.
I've brought shame to my father's name.
I have no choice now.
The Curious House is hereby closed forever.
No, wait.
You can't give up.
But I failed.
I failed to build the ultimate room.
Don't you see?
Don't you see?
You haven't failed.
This is the ultimate room.
What?
But this isn't part of the attraction.
This is just where I keep all of my father's old memorabilia.
And you've done such an incredible job with that.
Well, I was trained to be a museum curator before I inherited the family business.
So I just made all these glass cases and information plaques for fun.
And fun they are.
Very fun.
Winifred, this is the most fun room.
But my father's legacy is all right here.
His legacy was to build a fun house, but I think yours is to build a fun museum.
Don't you think it's time to stop and smell the roses?
My goodness, you're right.
I can never top the old man's whimsy.
I don't even like puns.
Actually, most people don't.
I'm not sure where you read that.
But I can build a museum.
That was my dream before all of this.
Oh, thank you, Lee and Nimminy.
Thank you for helping me see what was right in front of me this whole time.
It's our pleasure.
Well, we better get going.
The rest of the story pirates are probably worried about us.
Before you go, can I ask you for one more thing?
Sure, what is it?
Can we listen to one more of those great stories?
Yeah!
And here to introduce it is the author.
Hi, my name's Olivia.
I'm 14 years old, and I live in Texas.
This is my story, Cuzzboard.
Another night of inventing for me, Dr. Blair McMahon, mad scientist.
Okay.
Okay.
Brainstorming time.
And I do my best brainstorming while riding my hoverboard!
My sweet hoverboard.
Two wheels of madness attached to a platform of genius.
I shall ride you around my laboratory while I think of ideas!
Oh!
I really should fix that pothole in the middle of the floor before someone gets hurt.
But no time.
Right now, I need to come up with a new idea for work.
No more interruptions.
Evening, hon.
Who dares interrupt me?
It's me, Tom, your husband.
Oh, you.
What do you need, husband?
I just wanted to see how my lovely wife's work presentation went today.
It went great.
Oh, no.
There I was, about to give my presentation at the Ohio Institute for Mad Sciences and Technology.
Up next, it's Dr. Blair McMad.
Please present your newest mad invention.
Greetings, fellow mad scientists.
May I present my newest, maddest invention.
What?
A cat car, eh?
How does it work?
Simple.
It runs on cats.
I still don't get it.
In the front, there are a bunch of cats on a treadmill.
Their little legs power the treadmill, which turns the axle and moves the car.
Please, if you have a seat inside, I'll demonstrate.
Lead mad scientist.
Now that you're in, let's close the door.
I just plug the address here.
For example, the laundromat.
And the information travels to the cat's brains.
Then how do you make them go?
By showing them something they want.
This cage of mice.
Wait, won't the sight of a mouse make the cat go away?
Gosh, hon, that sounds like a really tough day.
I just want you to know your feelings are valid and that if you want to talk, I'm here.
Mad scientists don't talk, husband.
Mad scientists, science.
Of course, I'll leave you to it.
Back to thinking on my hoverboard.
I need ideas, hoverboard.
Oh, I wish I had come up with you, hoverboard.
I love you to the moon and back.
That's it!
I've got it!
To work!
Welcome back, Blair.
I trust you have something better for us today?
I do!
Fellow mad scientists, behold!
Now, Blair, this isn't going to be like last time, is it?
Where you just show them a mouse and they go wild?
Of course not.
I'm just going to tell them that mice are on the moon.
Oh, good.
But how will they understand?
Because I'll show them.
This mouse!
I'm going to the moon!
This is bad!
No, Blair!
Back for work already, hon?
They hated my latest invention, husband!
Oh, gosh.
Need a shoulder rub?
Not now!
Hoverboard and I need some alone time.
Of course.
Just be careful of that pothole.
Love you too, hon.
All right, Hoverboard.
We gotta think, or I'll be in deep trouble.
Ah!
That pothole again!
There must be an issue with the subfloor.
Subfloor!
I've got it!
To work!
Fellow mad scientists, behold!
This better not be cat-related.
Don't worry.
It is!
Oh, good.
Wait, what?
A cat!
Submarine!
I'm going to stop you right there.
I don't want to have to do this, but from henceforth, you are no longer a mad scientist.
You've been demoted to a glad scientist.
No!
I'm going to take your cat submarine, put it in the water, and sail it away from here.
Wait!
Cats hate water!
Ah!
Back home and demoted!
I can't believe it!
Come, hoverboard!
Let's ride!
Come on, Blair!
Think!
Think!
Think!
Don't let anything distract you!
Not even that pothole!
Whoa!
Hun, I heard a big thump.
Doing okay in here?
I was riding my hoverboard around the room and I hit a completely random pothole that I had no way of knowing about.
Aw, nuts.
And the board snapped.
I have lost my one and only source of love, patience, and care.
Well, I'm here.
Your husband, Tom.
I think you're smart and amazing, and I am here for you, and I always will be.
Of course.
How could I have missed something so important right here in front of me the whole time?
Oh, hon.
Come with me.
To work!
What?
Blair, what are you doing here?
Fellow mad scientists, please give me one more chance.
I have brought an invention.
Totally mad and cat-free.
Behold!
Hey, everyone.
I present to you a Huzzboard.
Huzzboard?
How does it work?
Two wheels of madness connected by my incredibly supportive husband.
To move it, all you have to do is stand on him and shift your weight.
So it's a hoverboard, but instead of a platform, it's your husband?
Correct.
It's mad brilliant.
Huzzboards are a hit.
Orders are coming in from all over the U.S.
What?
How did people find out so fast?
Sorry, hon.
I told some friends at work and I guess word got around the U.S.
Oh, Tom, you are the best Huzzboard I could wish for.
Aw, shucks.
The end.
And now Leigh speaks with the author.
Olivia, you wrote Huzzboards.
Yes, I did.
How did you come up with the idea for this story?
So I was actually writing for to get into a high school that I was trying to apply to.
And one of the words was Huzzboards.
And then I came up with that.
But then when I was putting it on Story Pirates, I made a few edits to it and I just made it like a little bit longer.
There's a real word called husboards.
No, it's like a fake word that they made up that you had to write a creative story about.
That's so funny.
What a weird word for them to come up with.
I know.
Okay.
So I also want to know more about Tom in your story, because Tom feels like, just seems like a really great guy, you know, like being willing to become a husboard.
Like, can you tell me more about him?
I think he was forced to because the scientist was too crazy.
Is he in love with Dr. McMahon?
Yeah, that's the only reason why he agreed to do it in the first place.
And your story ends with Husboards being sold all around the country.
Yep.
Do you imagine, like, who's buying these Husboards?
Like, are they more popular in certain places?
Like, what can you tell me about how they're being sold and where?
I think it's like a kit where it comes with the wheels, but you have to have a husband first.
Okay, so you do have to have a husband before you can buy a husband board.
Or you can buy one, but it won't work without a husband.
Yeah, it doesn't come with a husband.
What if you don't have a husband or you have a wife and you want a husband board?
Well, you can make a wife board, I guess.
People boards.
Spouse boards, partner boards.
Yeah, partner boards.
Okay, so you made up this story based on a fake word, right?
Yep.
Can you pay it forward right now by making up your own fake word for other kids listening to write a story about?
Hmm.
Let me think.
Shaboink.
Shaboink.
Incredible.
You heard it here first, listeners.
Time to write a story about Shaboink.
Okay.
Olivia, this has been so fun to talk to you today.
Thank you so much.
All right.
Bye, Olivia.
Bye.
We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-up.
Welcome back to Story Love, where we take stories written by kids and we read them and talk about them.
Peter.
Lee.
Those are our names.
Yes.
This first story is from Cody, an eight-year-old in Virginia, and it's called How We Got the Moon.
I had been wondering.
This is how we really got the moon.
Up in space, there was a wishing star who had a wish.
He asked everyone may you grant this wish for me to be a big, giant ball of rock that orbits around my favorite planet Earth?
He searched far and wide.
Whoosh!
He asked his great uncle, Starford.
Will you grant me my wish?
No, said Starford.
Whoosh!
He asked crazy old Star McStucket.
Will you grant my wish?
I can't, he answered.
Whoosh!
He asked his sister, Ursa Mabel.
So good.
Will you grant my wish?
Why should I?
Until he got to Earth's sun and questioned can you please grant me my wish to be a rock that orbits around the planet Earth?
The sun answered, yes, but under one condition, everyone must call you man.
Star, a.k.a.
Moon, said yes!
There was a huge pop, and he instantly turned into the moon.
And that's the real ridiculous story of how we got the moon.
The end.
Lee, what I love most about this story, and there are many, many great things, is the whole concept.
It seems to me, this is my interpretation, that all stars are wishing stars.
Oh.
Because he's going to every star he knows to make a wish, even though he himself is a star.
But I think the rules are you can't grant yourself a wish if you're a star.
You have to find another star to do it.
I think it's you know.
In adapting this, I think it would perhaps be more compelling for the main character to be the only wishing star.
Like, rather than like a star that is wished upon, this is like a star who has wishes all the time.
You know, it's like a little bit of a play on the term.
Oh, there was a wishing star who had a wish.
Yeah like, can't you imagine a kid hearing the term wishing star and being like that's got a star that must have a lot of wishes.
Or it's a wishing star in the traditional sense, who grants wishes all day long and then realizes well, what about me?
That's really good.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And then it's just trying to find another star, and it's our star, the sun, who actually can get it done.
Something tells me Peter has a wish of his own.
I wish that I was a sandwich.
I thought you were about to sing Into the Woods.
I wish.
Isn't that from Into the Woods?
I don't know.
I'm really glad.
I wish to go to the festival.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's like that.
Cody, awesome story.
I'm just happy you cut me off before I could say, I wish I was a sandwich.
I was like, there's no way this guy is about to start singing Sondheim.
All right.
Would you read the next one, Peter?
I would love to.
This next one comes to us from a six-year-old from Canada named Beth.
And the story is called The World Where You Cannot Say Help.
Yikes.
Once upon a time, there was a girl, and she needed help because she was stuck in a tree.
And she said, Help!
And her parents said, You can't say help.
Just get down.
But I can't get down.
You should have just said that.
Okay, but why can't we say help?
Because that's the rule.
Who says that we can't say help?
The mayor?
Oh.
Then help me down.
But we said you can't say help.
Okay, just get me down.
Okay.
The girl was down.
And then she said, can you get my scooter out?
Okay.
And the parents got her scooter out and she hopped on.
Where are you going?
Just to tell the mayor.
Okay, but he might not say yes.
Okay, bye.
And the girl went to tell the mayor.
And the mayor said, why do you ask this question?
Because I said help.
I thought it made it clear not to say help.
But are you going to say yes or no?
Let me think about it.
But please do not say help again.
But you said help.
Oops.
But you said help too.
Oops.
Okay, let's stop talking about this.
How did you get in here in the first place?
I scootered.
And then she scootered home.
Her parents said hi, and she said hi, and her parents let her in for a cup of tea and maybe some brownies.
And her parents asked, sweetie, what did he say?
He's still deciding.
Hmm, okay.
But it's time to go to bed.
Maybe the next day we'll figure out if he said it or not.
And then they all went to bed, except for the dog.
The dog hopped on the scooter and rode off.
And the next day she went to tell the mayor, but she had no scooter.
But she still had a helmet and knee pads and elbow pads and fingerless gloves.
So she went to look for her scooter and she found the dog underneath the tree next to her scooter.
And she was like, what happened?
And she went and got a translator and put it on the dog, and the dog said, I was scootering.
And she said, you're not meant to scooter on my scooter, okay?
And she took her scooter back.
And then she took her scooter, and the dog had made it halfway to the mayor's house.
She only had to scooter the rest of the way.
She went to the mayor's house, and the mayor said, Yes!
Oh, yay!
But now we have to call it the no saying yes town.
But you just said yes.
Oh, uh-oh.
Go and tell your parents, please.
So she scootered to the dog and got the dog and scootered home.
And she got to her parents and said, this is the end.
Wow.
Whoa.
Beth.
Whoa.
Really a lot of details in here.
Very, very interested in the logistics of this story.
Who's scootering where?
How far are they scootered?
How much is left to scooter?
Making sure you're communicating well with the mayor and your parents, sending messages back and forth, having there be a word that you can't say at all times.
This world is, it is the world where you cannot say help.
It is a very...
Very strange world.
A lot of pressure put on this one kid to solve this silly problem that the mayor has caused in this town.
Although weirdly, my favorite moment is the dog escaping with the scooter and just getting too tired, I think, and sitting behind it under the tree.
Yeah.
And her going, what happened?
And him saying, I was scootering.
To me, it says everything that she's like, I shouldn't be scootering.
I know.
I bit off more than I could chew.
In some ways, it feels like one of the main objectives Beth had in this story was to write the word scooter as many times as possible.
Scootered, scootering.
There's a lot of scooters in here.
I wonder if Beth herself has a scooter.
I'm going to guess yes.
I'm going to say there's an 87% chance Beth is a scooter pro.
Beth, incredible story, my friend.
Thank you so much for sending it in.
All right, we got one more here from Beckett, a 10-year-old in Canada.
And Beckett's story is called The Rapping Lawyer.
Yes!
There once was a lawyer who only rapped.
He was so good, if he lost... he would pay his clients one million gooses.
Honk.
And every time he went to court, it became a rap battle.
P.S., he lives in Arizona.
Beckett, a kid in Canada is like, where should I make this rapping lawyer be from?
How about Arizona?
Yes, the capital of American hip-hop.
Are you a West Coast, East Coast, or Arizona hip-hop band?
I'm a Southwest.
Southwest Coast!
I love that there once was a lawyer who only rapped.
He was so good, if he lost, he would pay his clients a million gooses.
I don't think the judges would stand for that in most courtrooms, but I love the idea of a rapping lawyer.
There's so much to do here.
I mean it's like Beckett.
Could we get an example of a case that this lawyer is trying to see what their opening statement's like?
How do you question a witness if you're only rapping?
You need some serious freestyle skills.
You do.
Are you rhyming with whatever they say?
Oh, yes.
You're taking their line and completing it so that it fits the meter and the rhyme of what you said.
Okay, so, like, if I'm the lawyer, I'd be like, Mr. McNerney, I'm going to ask you one more time.
Where were you when you committed the crime?
I did not commit the crime, my friend.
Well, for my questioning, this is the end.
Oh, I am guilty.
Perfect.
I think we've proved that this is a viable strategy.
You were very nice to give me friend as the word I needed to rhyme with.
Oh, you're welcome.
Do you want to try it?
Sure, sure.
I'm the lawyer now?
Yeah, you're the lawyer.
So you have to rhyme with yourself in your question and then I give an answer and you rhyme with that.
Okay, so I did a couplet, and then you get a first line, and then I have to rhyme it.
Did we just make up a short-form improv game?
Yeah, I think you did.
Now, you weren't there during the crime, as you claim, but first for the court, will you state your name?
Yes, my name is George Philanthropy Evans.
Ah, that's a real name.
I don't think so.
My heavens.
Guilty.
Our meter was perfect.
I had to decide whether I was going to give you an easy one or a hard one.
I could see you debating exactly that.
Yeah, but I want to set you up for success.
Thank you.
Just like Beckett set us up for success today.
Beckett, thank you for your incredible story.
To read all of today's story love stories, just head to storypirates.com.
And guess what, grown-ups?
You can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube.
And grown-ups, Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show.
It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program.
To find out more about Story Love, our digital creative writing program, Story Quest, or our non-profit arm Story Pirates Changemakers.
Check the show notes for links.
And we respond to every single one.
Grownups, your link to submit stories is in the show notes for today's episode.
We'll be back next week with another brand new episode.
Until then, stay creative and stay kind.
The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka.
This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree.
Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer at The Relic Room in New York City.
Additional production by Brett Toobin.
Theme song by Bobby Lord.
Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell.
Our head writer is Peter McNerney.
Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson.
Contributing writers are Lee Overtree and Austin Sanders.
Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
Special guest, Glo Tavares.
This episode features performances by Ben Blackman, Alison Frasca, Alexandria Iona, Justin Linville, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, Leah Overtree, Jamie Watson and Niminy Ware.
Hey, Peter.
Oh, hey, Lee.
I have a question for you.
Go ahead and ask.
You know that last story, Husboards?
Of course.
I loved it.
Well, I was pretty inspired by it, so I was wondering, would you be my hoverboard?
Um... I know, you're not my husband or anything.
You're just Peter, so maybe you could be my Peterboard.
Gee.
I already acquired all the technology.
I need to turn you into a hoverboard.
Woo.
Please.
Come on.
I really want a Peter board.
Lee, calm down.
The answer is yes.
Woohoo.
Okay.
Lie down on your back.
Okay.
And I'll just connect this and this.
Okay.
You're ready.
Wow.
That was easy.
Here we go.
This feels weird.
Peter, you make a great hoverboard.
This really is something.
I wouldn't call it pleasant, but something.
This rules.
Wow.
I'm a Peter board.
I'm a Peter board.
Finally.
This is weird.
