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[The Patriots' Resilience, AFC Playoff Chaos, and the 'Zombie' Lions]-[The Pats Grow Up, Nobody Believes in the Jags, the Bears are a Sports Movie, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal]

The Bill Simmons Podcast · B2 · 2025-12-22

Sports
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📋 Summary

The Patriots' Unlikely Surge

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal open the episode by marveling at the New England Patriots' recent trajectory, particularly their gritty comeback win against the Baltimore Ravens, which brought their record to 12-3. Despite being shorthanded—missing key offensive tackles, their primary run-stopper, and running back Henderson—the team leaned on rookie quarterback Drake Maye. Simmons, begrudgingly impressed, notes that Maye has reached a "new level," citing his 31-for-44, 380-yard performance with two touchdowns. Sal highlights Maye’s uncanny ability to remain unfazed under pressure, joking that even throwing a shark in his bed wouldn't rattle him. The duo agrees that the Patriots are a "real together team" with genuine chemistry, and while they hesitate to crown them Super Bowl favorites, they acknowledge that the AFC is "wide open," making a deep playoff run a distinct possibility.

AFC Playoff Scramble and the Jaguars’ Arrival

Much of the conversation centers on the chaotic state of the AFC playoff picture. The Jacksonville Jaguars are identified as the most impressive recent performers, having won six straight games. Simmons admits he was a skeptic, but after watching Trevor Lawrence’s "best game" against Denver, he is convinced. Lawrence has seemingly evolved, showing leadership and confidence that was previously missing. The Jaguars’ marketing of a "nobody believes in us" narrative has proven effective, as they’ve successfully "slammed the door" on detractors. Meanwhile, the Denver Broncos’ recent loss brought them back to earth, though they remain a top-tier threat. Sal and Simmons discuss the tension surrounding the race for the one seed, noting that with the Kansas City Chiefs effectively "done," the landscape for the final two weeks of the season is volatile and unpredictable.

The 'Zombie' Lions and the Steelers' Luck

Transitioning to the NFC, the hosts analyze the Detroit Lions' sudden collapse. Described as the "zombie lions," the team looked completely depleted, struggling with injuries and lacking the ability to run the ball. Simmons remarks on the fragility of their playoff window, noting that they have essentially been eliminated. Conversely, the Pittsburgh Steelers continue to defy logic. Despite what Simmons calls a "big syllabus of shitty, stupid, ridiculous Stealer wins," they have clinched a playoff spot. Sal suggests a "Ewing Theory" effect might be at play without T.J. Watt, as quarterback Russell Wilson has simplified his game into a "Tecmo Bowl" style of play—executing just a handful of reliable plays to get the job done.

NFL Season Fatigue and Future Outlook

Both hosts express growing concern regarding the length of the 18-game season, noting that teams are suffering from catastrophic injuries on a weekly basis. This fatigue is contributing to uninspired performances in marquee matchups, such as the lackluster Christmas slate. They also touch upon the absurdity of recent refereeing decisions, specifically mentioning "chintzy" OPI/PI calls that have plagued the league. As they look toward the postseason, they express more confidence in the Los Angeles Rams as a "class up" compared to the AFC contenders. The episode concludes with a humorous "Parent Corner" segment, where Sal laments his son hanging out with "middle-aged strangers" at a Steelers bar, followed by a brief discussion on Jake Paul’s recent boxing spectacle, which Simmons characterizes as a high-earning, albeit painful, career move.

🎯Key Sentences

1
put that one on the old resume.
2
He was not fazed.
3
He didn't budge.
4
Put a fork in them.
5
I was a little biased.
Expand All

📝Key Phrases

1
chugging along
2
go back to the drawing board
3
put that on the resume
4
not fazed
5
didn't budge
Expand All

📖 Transcript

The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where we are still chugging along even though the holidays are coming up.
I even have new rewatchables coming for you on Monday, and we did a big movie.
We did a big movie from the 2020s.
That would be the hint.
I'm not going to tell you what movie it is, because you've seen it.
Um, so that is coming on Monday.

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