These are my personal opinions always secret professional when you're making choices about your mental health and well -being.
Wow! Here's one for you.
This person lives with his wife, his wife's mom and another family member and they're having issues.
How could you have issues with that cocktail of family members?
Sometimes it works.
Sometimes you can all get along and everything is fine.
But, um, I do believe that there needs to be contribution from every family member in some way.
Unless one's infirmed or disabled or whatever.
But, or maybe one owns the house, like if her mom owns the house, then you're basically in her mom's house under her rules.
And if your wife is stuck on living there, or is set on living there because she doesn't want to get a full -time job, then this really all comes down to what you want to do with your life.
And if you want to stay with somebody who doesn't want to work full -time and try to get a house together or save a lot of money or whatever it is, it comes to stuff I've talked about before which is accepting people exactly as they are knowing they'll never change.
That may not be true, but that is the first place I go with this is if I chose to accept that my wife would never ever change what decision would I make for myself?
Would I just say okay I'm gonna stay with her because I love her and it doesn't matter and I'll figure it out, which may be your answer, could be my answer.
Or am I going to feel stifled?
Am I going to be unhappy?
You might say, yeah, I'm gonna be unhappy.
Will you be able to accept your wife and her decisions the way she is for indefinitely?
Are you going to be able to accept that fully?
If you answer, yeah, that's fine, I'll try, but I'll never be as happy as I can be, then that is something that once you take that step forward, once you make that decision, and this may sound a little harsh, but once you accept somebody in your life, and you accept the circumstances, even if you disagree with them, you just accept that they're not going to change, you aren't allowed to complain about them anymore, at least not to that person.
because you have chosen to be with somebody who you know is making decisions for their life and they know that you know that they are making those decisions and they expect you to accept them or not.
Because if you don't accept them, what's the alternative?
I know what you're thinking.
Well, what are you saying?
I should just get a divorce?
No I'm saying that you should have a very deep conversation about this with your wife and tell her you're unhappy, tell her you don't like this situation and you have to work a lot of hours to you know whatever your story is and it's bringing you down and it's making you unhappy and it's causing a rift in your romance and your intimacy in your marriage and when you have a partner you should be able to talk about these things and put them on the table and then once you put them on the table and tell somebody you're unhappy an equal supportive loving partner is going to want you to be happy and so will work
work with you to make that happen it's my professional opinion that is exactly how it should be when two people are together you should both support each other's happiness so if one person is unhappy like you let's just say that you're unhappy and you don't want to feel that way anymore because you being unhappy will bring down the relationship it will affect you it will affect the relationship it will affect her and she will feel that she will be affected by it and she will eventually be unhappy herself because you're not happy not because you're bringing her down but because you're down, at least. That's
how I believe an equal partnership should work.
It's when your partner is unhappy, you should want them to be happy.
What can you do to make that happen?
And if it's something that you're not doing, let's just say that you want her to work full -time so you can both move out of the place you're in with her relatives.
It sounds like a reasonable request but I can't tell you how to live your life and I don't know all the circumstances.
it sounds like a reasonable request that a married couple would want to be alone in their own space, outside of their family.
But that's me. That's my opinion.
Maybe she has a different opinion.
Maybe she loves living with family.
That would be something she values if that's the case.
And if that is the case, because it doesn't sound like she's itching to get out of there really fast, then I would have a serious conversation.
Hey, if you want to live with your family, I just want to let you know that I don't I want to live with you I want to spend my time with you I want to be able to walk around in my underwear in my own house without having to worry that somebody's gonna open the bedroom door or whatever I don't want to have to think about that stuff I want to be able to be comfortable in my own house so that might be where you are and it might not be where she is and if that's the case you've got some serious considerations to make.
And again, that doesn't mean you separate or get divorced or anything like that.
That step is way in the future, if at all.
I think the first step is to have a serious conversation and come to a place of, this is what would make me happy, this is what I want for us.
This is where I hope we can be in X number of months, or a year, or whatever.
are you with me are you willing to do this with me and if she says no then it comes back to you you know she's happy where she is and she doesn't seem very interested in maybe your end of this your emotions about it and that's an unfair thing for me to say I'm not saying that's what she thinks at all but she may just value family and value her connection with her mom and other relatives in the house.
And that's where she is.
So it comes back on you.
It returns to you. And now you have to make a decision if you've had that deep conversation, if you've shared your unhappiness and your wife does not seem to, I don't want to say care, but if your wife does not seem invested in having a happy husband again this might be a little unfair you know I don't know her story and I don't know the situation but if she seems more invested in the situation as is and she knows that you'll be unhappy with as is it's going to be very difficult for you to stay in that place with those people even though you could probably find ways to be happy but if you feel
like you'll never be happy there then it will eventually wear on you and as it wears on you it will come out in different ways and this is all speculation this is all me making assumptions about what would happen because maybe you stay a while and everything's great maybe you're saving a lot of money by staying there and maybe that's what you need to do is continue saving money but let's just say like one of the things you said is my wife doesn't want to work full -time I don't neither who does who wants to work full time I work more full time I work fuller time then I used to work because when you
run your own stuff when you run your own business that's what happens but I get it but is it conducive to a happy marriage is it conducive to owning a home or renting or whatever is it conducive to living on your own they may not be so that needs to be discussed and And if that doesn't work out and your wife says, no, I don't want to work full time, then again, it comes back to you.
Are you willing to find a way to make things work without her working full time?
That may be wholly unfair on you.
Well, I shouldn't have to do that.
I might agree. I might.
I don't know. Again, it depends on the circumstances, but all I know is that I'm in a relationship with my wife and her two relatives and they live in the same house and I can't wake up at 3 a .m. and go watch TV because there's other people in the house.
I can't make a lot of noise because there are other people in the house so I don't really have my own space.
And I know some people live like this.
I get it. But here's this person reaching out and asking to sort all this stuff out and I don't know what you're looking for from me you know is there a magic pill is there something that you can say this really does come down to this is what I want this is what I want in my life this is what I want for us I would really love to spend our time together alone I feel very stifled here I feel unhappy here I have no privacy here you know whatever your story is again, and, um, I just want better for us.
And this is what I'd like to do.
And if you've married someone that has no interest in that or some of it, then that needs to be a serious conversation.
And this is where I would go with myself.
I'm not saying that you should do this, but where I go with it is if I w I knew I was unhappy and I was living in this.
These circumstances with her relatives.
And I really wanted my own space.
I probably wouldn't have a problem with it actually but if I really wanted my own space and I wanted us to live as a couple together without these people in the house I would say I don't know if I can handle that.
I don't know if I can live like that.
And of course this is after we've had the conversation of honey I really want us to live together and I really want us to have our own place and I don't want to be around this and I want our privacy and this and this and this, and I would lay out all the criteria, but if she had no interest in that criteria, I might be thinking that, dare I say it, I might be thinking that I made a mistake.
You said you've been married for a number of years and now this is coming up?
Have you been in this living arrangement for that number of years?
because if you have then probably too much time has gone by and maybe this is your point of resentment or at least the peak of your resentment and you've had enough and you don't want to deal with it anymore and you're trying to find a way out of it you can't convince people that don't want change to change you can't convince your wife to do something different or be somebody different than she is.
That's why it always comes back to you.
And even if you were to convince her, and she was against it, and she was resistant, she might feel resentment towards you for making a decision that she didn't want to make.
Which is why I really appreciate the idea that if you want change, you must be that person who changes.
What that means, at least to me it's not like be the change you want to see in the world but it is it's more like don't try to change somebody from who they are just do the change yourself and hopefully they'll come along for the ride and what that means to me is let's just say that I was in that situation with Asha and she was happy the way she was she didn't want to bring any money in and we couldn't afford to move and her mom was here and her step mom is here and her brothers were here and I've just felt unhappy around all these people and she was fine with it.
If that were the case and I was unhappy I would say I can't do this anymore.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Why don't we get a place together?
I want to be with you, I love you, I want to share my life with you, and not with all these other people.
This is what I want for us.
And if she said, well, I don't really care about that.
I would question how much she wants to see me happy.
And again, that's unfair for me to say because that is implying that she doesn't want to see me happy, and that may not be true at all, but my mind would go there.
Like, why don't she want me to be happy in this relationship?
And she might say well why don't you want me to be happy?
Why don't you support me and what I want?
And that's why it always comes back to the person who needs to make the change if they want to see change.
So I might look at that and say she's right, why don't I support her support her happiness?
Because that's how I define love, when you support somebody else's happiness, why don't I support her happiness and her choice to live with her family and her choice to live with me and her family and to never want to move?
Can I support that?
And if it comes back to me and the decision I need to make I can probably say yes I can support that but I don't want to be in this situation with you so I will support you wanting to be in this relationship in this house with all these people but I can't be in that same place with you it's so easy to talk about it's very hard to implement maybe it feels impossible but I would have to get serious me I'm not saying you I'm saying I would have to get serious.
I would have to look at my marriage and ask myself, is this what I want in a marriage?
Is this what I want for a wife?
What if she checks all the boxes?
Yes, but she does this and this and this and this and this and everything else is great.
I just can't live in this place with them.
I can't live with all these people.
Will that override everything else?
So I would probably have to assess that.
probably have to figure out if everything else is good enough, and if it is, can I accept her the way she is, and accept her decisions and never ever give her crap about it again?
And so I recommend you listen to one of my recent episodes.
It's called, it's called the judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy.
I just came out with that and maybe you've already heard that, but that is an episode that talks about decisions like this.
So if this sounds familiar, I just talked about it a couple episodes ago, but that's where I go with a question like this is first, you talk to the person, tell them what makes you unhappy and how can we work together to make each other happy and go forward?
Where is the compromise?
That might be a place you go.
Where can we compromise?
Can we at least do X Y Z and find out if there is a compromise maybe she doesn't want to compromise at all maybe she is perfectly happy the way things are she has her cake she eats it too and here you are and you have to make the choice that if you want to stay in this place if you know you're gonna be unhappy that needs to be expressed and you know a lot of people don't like to go this far with the conversation well you know I don't want to be in this situation so I'm gonna you know leave for a while I'm gonna separate a lot of people won't go there they just think oh once you're married you
got to accept everything I don't necessarily believe that I think you have to make compromises I think you have to sometimes make sacrifices because the big picture is hey what do you have here it's it's it's supposed to be special it's supposed to be these two people united and and working together as a team and moving forward holding hands toward the Sun that's what it's supposed to be in my opinion and you're supposed to feel when it doesn't feel like that it doesn't feel like a team it feels like hey you just have to accept me for for who I am and what I choose which is exactly what I teach
but with all this other baggage, you've got to accept the whole package.
So now it's up to you to accept that whole package or not.
So I can't guide you here in a way that is going to be satisfactory, except tell you that you have something to talk about.
That's very important.
And you did mention a few other things in your message, the person who wrote to me that, um, really still come back to you.
Are you going to be okay with that if it never ever changes?
Because if you're not, you can either stay and continue to be unhappy and continue to complain about it, if you do, or you can decide that if you had to make a choice, what would it be?
You can make that decision.
You can take responsibility for what you want in your life, and as hard as it might be, you might love your wife dearly, but she's making choices that also make you unhappy, which is why I come back to her and ask her, why don't you want us to be happy together you have all this set up and you seem to be happy but I'm not what can we do to work this out I think it needs to be a discussion and it's not an easy one and yes it could lead to a fight it could lead to a breakup a separation it could even leave to a divorce and that might not be the path you want to go and maybe there are children involved
and it just gets very dicey but at a minimum you got to have the conversation you have a serious one This is the kind of conversation that I've had with Asha many times.
I've told myself I would rather risk the relationship with an honest conversation than withhold a hard truth that is going to come out anyway in maybe covert ways or destructive ways that will build resentment in either me or her or both.
I would rather have that hard conversation let's just put it on the table and see what happens.
I wish you luck with that.
Good luck and I'm gonna read you something else.
It's somebody that wrote and said that they broke up another relationship question they broke up and then they got back together and he told her that he slept with a couple of women and she said that I didn't talk to anyone and I didn't date anyone or anything like that but then later he found out that she was still in contact with a guy that she had been into before him and he checked her Instagram and all this stuff and she lied about it and then she finally said yes she told him the truth and but she kept hiding things on her phone and eventually she said that she went on a couple dates and she
kissed someone but then later on she broke up with him I mean the person that wrote to me and saying that I was too controlling and didn't trust her that's the truth that is absolutely true.
She said she has traumatized and hurts from my questioning and distrust and I feel betrayed and lost." How do I heal and move on from this?
So I used to be that way.
I used to be possessive.
I used to be jealous.
I used to not trust. I wanted to find out who was talking to them.
I wanted to...I was just so insecure.
It sounds like you might have been or are now and that insecurity will drive you to do behaviors that will absolutely be interpreted, probably rightly so, as possessiveness, jealousy, control, controlling behaviors and manipulative behaviors and all the things that are really emotionally abusive and when you are that way, this is a message to anyone especially young who hasn't been in too many relationships who might feel insecure, the more you try to control someone the more likely they will seek their emotional support from someone else.
That is a hard and fast rule the more you try to control or the more you don't trust them, the more you show your mistrust, the more likely they will look for their emotional support from somebody else, meaning you choose not to believe them even though they say over and over again that that's the truth and I'm only talking about when you are with a controlling person what will often end up happening is that you will feel like you have to lie because they can't handle the truth.
Because if you tell them the truth what ends up happening is they get upset and they make your life miserable and they bring it up over and over again and they can't get over it.
And especially if they're insecure and they're possessive and they're jealous, they're going to continually make it a problem in the relationship.
Well, that time you did this, that time, you did this.
I can't trust you. So it could be five years later that time you did this.
I can't trust you, which is why when you're with a controlling person, you're more likely to make stuff up so that they don't get upset.
and your life can be at least a little bit less miserable because being with the controlling person is miserable.
So if you are the person, you are the insecure one, you are the one who wants to know where they are all the time.
And you're constantly bringing up things that they've told you no, but you believe it's something else.
And it's, yes, you might very likely push them into the emotional arms of somebody else at a minimum.
Now this discounts people that are actually cheating, betraying.
This discounts those people and what I mean by that is you have one kind of relationship with a very jealous insecure person who's constantly trying to figure out who you're talking to, trying to control who you're talking to, trying to get information out of you whether it's true or not and there's that kind of insecure person that you might be with.
So that kind of person can push somebody into the emotional or physical arms of somebody else.
Then there's the type of person that is actually cheating and they are not necessarily with an insecure person but that person suspects something.
So there's two things here I don't want to that going forward, I'm talking about the insecure, possessive, maybe jealous, maybe person, the person who fears abandonment the person who fears rejection, the person who fears being alone, I can name all these off because this is who I was, in my 20s that's who I was.
I'm in my 50s now, way over it.
But that's why I mentioned that if you're younger, this is more likely to be the case, but if you keep these qualities as you grow up, it's gonna really destroy relationships.
And so the jealous, insecure, possessive, fearful person who thinks that their partner is going to leave them or find somebody else is more likely to be controlling, and that controlling aspect of the relationship will eventually push the other person into the emotional or physical arms of somebody else.
I'm sorry to say that's gonna happen.
It might not, but you're better off thinking it's going to happen so that you aren't that person.
You aren't that person that pushes somebody away.
And then you might say, but what if it's true?
What if I am afraid that they'll leave me and it's true?
If you are afraid that they'll leave you, if you are afraid that they'll find somebody else then you don't trust. And if you don't trust, is it fair to push your mistrust onto someone else, and I'm not putting you down for that.
I was there, but is it fair, for you not to trust someone and make their lives difficult and control them?
Because you can't bring yourself to trust them.
And it might be a valid trust. I'm not saying that sometimes it's true, but what kind of relationship do you want where you can't trust the person you're with?
Believe me if I couldn't trust Asha, I would not have married her and I wouldn't be with her.
Trust is one of my top values.
Trust, respect, honesty, fun, sexual energy, all those values are important to me.
And some can be compromised a little bit, some work better one day and some don't work on some days.
But my top value of trust isn't there if respect isn't there if honesty isn't there then There's a problem and That's another hard conversation.
We might have to have but if I couldn't bring myself to trust my partner Then it's not on them to convince me to trust them It's on me to be convinced by their behaviors And if I'm looking for a way to Make them wrong Then I will find that.
It will manifest. I will eventually discover something that makes me right and them wrong because what I will end up doing is the qualities of my personality will push them into a situation that basically they'll say well if you believe I'm doing that and I can't commit you otherwise I might as well do that because I can't trust you to trust me so I'm going to be pushed into the emotional arms or physical arms of somebody else this doesn't mean that everyone does that doesn't mean that if you're a controlling person or they're a controlling person that you will automatically find your emotional
support from somebody else or your physical support from somebody else doesn't mean that but the chances are high the chances are high that they will seek another person in their life to be comfortable with because they can't be comfortable with the controlling person they will seek another person to confide in because they can't confide in the person that's controlling possessive and jealous and insecure so this person who wrote I know this is half the stuff you don't want to hear I know what you're for you want to know how to heal and move on from this I think what you need to do is heal the fears
heal the insecurities and that means you know I've created episodes that at the overwhelmedbrain .com you can look up you can look up the word insecurity you can look up the word possessive I think and jealous all of those the qualities that I talked about all those dysfunctions that will cause you to do this again in the next relationship.
If you start working on that, you will start feeling more secure in yourself and you won't make somebody else your source of happiness and your source of energy.
And you'll also discover why you have these feelings in the first place, why you have this insecurity.
For me, it was my mom.
Wasn't always there for me.
My mom had to be the buffer, the shield from my alcoholic stepfather so it was very difficult for her to spend a lot of time being loving and nurturing toward me even though i feel that she is a very loving and nurturing woman but during her marriage with my stepfather since i was one year old i had to um find ways to entertain myself and keep myself busy and nurture myself really but it turned into a function in my life because I did become insecure.
I did fear abandonment.
I did fear that the person I was with would find someone else.
And I attribute that to not feeling and getting the love I needed as a child from my mom.
And I certainly don't blame her for that.
She was in an abusive situation, but that's what I was missing as a child.
And so I took that neglect that I felt and it was an unintentional neglect but I took that into my adult relationships as an insecurity and As soon as I realized that that's what I was doing to my partners I felt insecure I was possessive and jealous and I wanted to be with them all the time was very clingy and so That fear of being alone fear of being abandoned was like a lot of making up I was doing from childhood.
I gotta make all this up and never let it happen again because now that I'm an adult I can control my life that was my thought back then I can control the people that are in my life so that they never leave me and they are always giving me the love I need and I always get that reinforcement because when I say I love you to them I only say it because I want to hear it back and not that that's anything wrong with that, but I relied on it.
I relied on constantly getting that nourishing, loving, motherly connection back.
Even though it was my partner, I was adult relationship, I didn't think of hers, my mom, but this is what we do, we take this stuff from childhood into our adult relationships, and then we ruin them sometimes.
And so this person, I'm talking directly to you, the person who wrote to me, you feel hurt, you feel lost, you want to move on from this, and I totally get it.
And I think your first step toward healing is to work on that insecurity in yourself and ask yourself why you can't trust someone that chose to be with you and even chose to return to you.
You can't trust them that they made the decision to be with you or return to you and trust that they came to that decision because there was something about you.
Maybe a lot of things about you that they wanted in their life but because you might have been maybe controlling and insecure and not very confident in yourself or afraid of abandonment and afraid of being alone maybe all those fears came out and did push her away.
That may not have pushed her into the arms of another or whatever it just may have pushed her away because nobody wants to feel like they're being controlled, nobody wants to feel like whatever they do will be questioned and scrutinized.
They want to feel free to be themselves.
And if they can't feel that freedom, they're not going to stick around.
And again, that doesn't help you feel better.
But what will help you feel better is starting to address any of these insecurities that you have in you.
And I've made many episodes on this, go to the overwhelmedbrain .com, look for those episodes.
You will find everything I just talked about today because I went through the same thing.
It wasn't easy. I was sad a lot.
And as soon as I got out of one relationship, I sought another.
I knew that being in another relationship would make me happy again, but that was the problem.
I never brought my happiness into the relationship.
I expected it from others.
So I drained them. It's draining to pull the source of your energy and your happiness from another person.
And once you stop doing that and you get comfortable in your own skin and you feel secure in yourself and you can trust people, even if they end up lying to you, at least you've trusted them up to that point and you weren't the cause of pushing them away because if you get back into this relationship or you get into another relationship you want to be the healthiest version of yourself at at least emotionally speaking.
You wanna be as healthy as you can be emotionally so that when you get into a relationship they feel comfortable with you.
They feel safe with you.
Anyone that feels controlled or watched or scrutinized or doesn't feel trusted won't feel safe with you.
How do you make someone feel safe?
You accept them exactly as they are.
You take them at face value.
you just trust their showing up exactly the way they are and you choose to accept the way they are.
Even if you don't like it, you would choose to accept it and if you don't like it, listen to segment one of this episode because that's when I say, hey, sometimes you get to a point where you may not like your circumstances, so you bring it up, you talk about it, you say I don't like the way this is working out.
You actually have an honest conversation with somebody and then, that's either going to allow the relationship to blossom or it may go the other way.
But that's the chance we take when we're in a relationship with somebody who has their own thoughts and values and beliefs and ideas and ideals and values and that's the chance you take.
You just have another person that has a whole nother set of criteria that we have to work with.
And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
The healing has to take place inside you.
Yes, you're grieving the loss of the relationship.
It is like a death.
It's a death of a part of you, a part of your heart, a part of your identity has died, and that requires rebuilding.
That that empty space in your heart requires rebuilding.
And it's hard to do when you can barely do it inside yourself for yourself.
because if you were using someone else to fill that part of your heart that's what ends up causing a drain and a strain on the relationship.
So my advice to you is yes go through your grieving.
Understand that this is painful!
You know it is! Grieve and cry and scream if you have to!
Let those feelings out then work some self parenting.
This is exactly what I had to do.
I had to be my own parent.
I had to be the person that couldn't show up for me as a child and start nurturing myself.
I could tell you everything in the world that you need to do and it's still gonna hurt.
It's still gonna be painful.
I don't know how to get around that yet, but you do have to go through that grieving process and know that it will pass.
The younger you are, the more you believe it won't pass.
The older you are typically the more you'll believe you'll get through it, but if you're, if you've only had one relationship ever and you break up when you're 40 or 50, you may feel like that young person who's dealing with all this stuff for the first time because it really is the first time, but as you go through the many breakups that we sometimes have in our lives, I know I have, what ends up happening is that you understand the grieving process.
You understand the pain you understand that it's all part of growing and then feeling better eventually and then realizing that they're not the only person that could actually fulfill your life because sometimes we become obsessive and say there'll never be anyone like that and you're right they'll never be anyone like that last person and they'll never be anyone like the next person they're all different but sometimes we think but they're the only one that will ever, ever make me happy.
They're the only one who fit every one of my criteria.
But what happens is, and this is something I had to practice after my last relationship with my divorce, what happens is you ask yourself the question, if I met someone who was just as attractive, just as intelligent, just as fun, just as romantic, just as sexy, or more that's the question.
If I I met someone who had all those qualities or more.
Would I be okay if it was a different person than the person I was with?
I mean, really think about it.
If someone came along that was just as attractive or more than the person you're with or maybe just as funny or more as the person you were with or just as intimate, just as adventurous or more, would you be okay with that person?
That's how I got over my divorce.
when I got divorced I asked myself that question because I was in misery and I finally said well what if somebody came along that was just as this or even more and just as that or even more would I be okay that her name wasn't my ex would I be okay and my answer is of course because what I got from the relationship was all that and if I could have even more why wouldn't I want that.
And that's what happens is that we meet somebody who has lots of criteria stuff that we didn't even realize that we wanted sometimes and sometimes we don't want, but then we see all these great things about them.
And we start to develop different values, we start to develop different ideas of what love is about and what happiness is about.
Because we finally opened our mind to what is possible instead of our ideal, our perfection, the perfect relationship in our mind, because when we open that up, then someone comes along and we realize, Oh, I'm actually happier now.
So to the person who wrote to me, I don't have the magic formula again, the secret to healing from the death of a relationship, which I like to call it, because if I can accept that the relationship is over, rip that bandaid off then it is easier for me to move forward. But I am willing to go through the pain so I can move forward and know that I'll eventually meet someone else who may not fit my criteria.
But it turns out they are everything I've wanted.
That happened to me now, that's what happened to me when I met Aasha.
She didn't meet some of my criteria, we laugh about it.
No you're not that tall and no you're not this.
said no you have you know I had criteria and so did she but it turns out this is the best relationship of our lives because we were both open we were both open to figuring out if this is gonna work out or not and we approached it slowly we didn't get into a deep romantic relationship right away we were friends for months we just approached it slowly and turns out that we're quite compatible in ways that I had no idea I hope this helps thanks for writing and thanks for listening to The Overwhelmed Brain I want to thank our patrons who give to the show I am very grateful for all of you.
I see your names like once a month and I also get donations like Dina.
Dina, thank you so much for your donation.
It was very generous I was quite surprised and I don't know what I said or what I did but whatever it was I am humbled by your generosity.
Thank you Dina I appreciate you and thank you all patrons.
If you find value in the show like these patrons do and if you want to donate or you want to give back head over to MorTOB .com and someday I'll give you a shout out too.
Now if you want to listen to another podcast I do it's called Love and abuse it's some how to navigate the difficult relationship you can listen to that over at loveandabuse .com and if you know you're the difficult one in the relationship maybe you've got some controlling qualities that you want to stop doing.
Join the program that is helping a lot of people heal over at healedbeing .com and that's where you'll learn how to stop those behaviors and give you the best chance it's saving a relationship if that's your goal healedbeing .com.
And with that always keep your mind open because that's how you make the best decisions and be firm in your decisions and actions so that you can create the life you want.
Always take steps to grow and evolve.
You are powerful beyond measure and above all and this is something I absolutely know to be true about you.
You are amazing. you
