Hello and welcome back to advice session a series here on anything goes
Where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on and I give my unprofessional advice
Today I have a very raspy voice
Because I've been singing a lot in the car, etc. etc. And I've also been very dehydrated
I haven't been drinking a lot of water
So my voice is gone, but hopefully some of you think that it's sexy and charming
I know for a fact there will be a few of you that will be annoyed
But this is just what you get with me. I lose my voice so much. It's
unbelievable and I can't tell if it's because I just
Talk and sing more than the average person or if it's because there is ultimately something wrong
with my throat
But that's neither here nor there and that is something for me to worry about and not for you to worry about
Don't worry. I will handle that
You have enough going on in your own life, okay?
Which is why we're doing an advice session because I'm gonna be giving you unprofessional advice on things that are going on in your lives and if you want to
Submit a current dilemma or a situation that you want advice on at anything goes on Instagram
That is where we receive submissions. Okay without further ado
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Curried at a list today of
Current dilemmas slash situations that you all wanted based on that specifically relate to
Having a crush on someone so this whole episode is about what the fuck to do when you have a crush
Let me tell you it's fun to have a crush
It's really distracting which is great like that's the best part about it is when you have a crush
It's almost like being drunk in the way that it distracts you like
It consumes your mind in a way that is
so potent and
so all-consuming
That nothing else really seems to matter like it becomes your number one priority a lot of times and
There's something kind of fun about that because it is an escape from your real life
It's like who gives a fuck about homework or work or
Drama with friends. It's like no, I got a crush the only thing I'm worrying about right now is this they like me back
Was I weird when I flirted with them yesterday like what's happening?
Anyway having a crush is fun
But it's also kind of a nightmare because you're in this sort of
purgatory where you don't know for sure if they like you back most of the time and it's exciting
But it's also torture because you're trying to figure it out every day and you're just fantasizing about what it would be like if you were together and
You're so close yet so far. It's a nightmare. It's fun, but it's a nightmare a lot of things like that
It's like when you're in a party face in your life and you're going out a lot
It's fun and it's distracting, but it's a nightmare
It's ultimately a nightmare
any who the last time I had a crush was a few months ago and
I really found myself having a crush on the idea of this person and
Then as I got to know the more I was like this person is not good for me
Like if I dated this person it would be an absolute catastrophe
But it was tough to shake because I was like well fuck. I don't know like I don't know them that well
And even though I can tell that we wouldn't be super compatible personality-wise
It's like but what if we got to know each other and then they did become that and it was like
This whole thing and the only way I got rid of that crush was by finding someone new like I don't know if I would have shaken that crush
As quickly if I hadn't found someone new who was
Ultimately way better for me, you know like a better person to have a crush on all that to say
There's something so challenging about shaking a crush
Even if you can tell that they're bad for you even if you know that you'll never date them
It's like not up to you when you shake the crush
It's like you're subconscious mind us that choose to be done and that's why having a crush is so challenging
You can't just turn it on and off I
Love having a crush. No, I don't I prefer dating I I don't like
I actually don't like being in that crush phase like I like
Being in a relationship. That's what I like I like
Dating somebody that I will always have a crush on or I will have a crush on
indefinitely but feeling secure in that I don't like being in the in the gray area
I don't like being in the purgatory of it. I kind of hate that like it is fun
But it is a nightmare and I prefer to be in a relationship like that's my ideal situation
So okay now another about me with the fuck
Someone said how do I figure out if someone likes me back?
In the past I would have listed out various
Signs that you can spot that would show you or give you a hint about whether or not they like you
That's what I would have said in the past
However, through some more life experience I think my advice now is far less fun and
far less exciting and
It's that you really can't assume
You know we can find ourselves reading into the tiny little
Micro behaviors of the person that we have a crush on
Trying to figure them out like they're a solvable puzzle, okay?
But the truth of the matter is everyone's different everyone's little
micro behaviors are
different and
What means one thing about one person doesn't mean the same thing about another person like for example if
The last person that you had a crush on who ended up liking you back used to text you all the time
Then you might read into this new person that you have a crush on texting you all the time and think well
That means that they probably like me right or this feels like a sign that they like me when you know
This person that you have a crush on now could just be a really avid text or they just love texting and
Because you guys are friends they text you a lot, okay another example is
You know maybe someone who's had a crush on you before has given you really good eye contact when you talk and
That was a sign that they had a crush on you
Now you're talking to this new person who you have a crush on they're giving you really good eye contact
You might say to yourself well, they must have a crush on me right that must be a sign because of the last person when in reality
It might just be that this person really prioritizes eye contact into conversation with anyone
It's so impossible to
Figure out that my recommendation is to not even try to read between the lines not to even try to figure them out
Instead you need to find out for sure because like this is just my opinion, okay?
I just think it's so misleading to basically like come up with conspiracy theories about whether or not they like you back
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all about conspiracy theories, okay?
I don't think that there's inherently anything wrong with being a little bit conspiratorial
I think it's good to question things. I think it's good to
Analyze things and read between the lines and try to figure things out
But you can never come to a conclusion based on a conspiracy. It's the same thing with like a
Conspiracy about I don't know like whether or not aliens are real. It's like I don't think there's anything wrong with maybe putting together clues and trying to figure out if aliens are real
But you can never come to a conclusion unless there's proof unless there's
Evidence unless someone says here's the science. These are the aliens. They're right here. This is 100% certain
You see what I'm saying? It's the same thing with when you have a crush
It's like until you hear it from their mouth not necessarily directly maybe even through the grapevine
But until they say it you just can't know for sure
And so you can never come to a conclusion based on things that are not factual like
Evidence is different than facts because evidence can sometimes not be accurate
It's like when they're solving a murder case. Okay, they might find fingerprints on some shit
But that doesn't necessarily mean that the person whose fingerprints were on the stuff
Did the murder?
There are so many more variables to factor in you can't you cannot come to a conclusion based on based on little pieces of evidence like that
Right? So my piece of advice is if you're like overcome with
desperation to figure out if this person likes you back
You got to start asking around maybe you start by asking their friends like hey, you know, let me confide in you a little bit
I have a crush on your friend and I don't know how to handle it like I don't know if I should ask them if they feel the same about me
If I should like start to get closer to them have they ever said anything about me like do they like me? What do you know?
And they might be like oh, I don't know like I can ask and get back to you or they might say oh
Yeah, they definitely like you or they might say I don't know like they're not really dating right now like
Now that's one way you could go about it
Another way you could go about it is you could become closer with this person that you have a crush on
Plotonically in a friendly way you could become closer with them and
Hopefully build a relationship where you have open communication, right now that takes time that takes patience
Okay, but then eventually you can be like listen
I might like you a little more than you can make it a silly conversation. You could be like I
Don't know how this is so embarrassing, but I maybe I have a crush on you whatever and it's a big deal
If you don't feel the same way about me, I'll get over it, but just let me know
Like what do you think you're gonna and that's another way of going about it
But those are really the only ways to find out for sure you have to find out for certain if you want to know
For certain I mean obviously like there are little signs that you can pay attention to in the meantime like
Does it seem like they want to spend time with you a lot? Do they ever get a little flirty with you?
Do you catch them looking at you when you're talking and like a group of friends are they like staring at you?
They seem a little nervous around you sometimes or do they get kind of embarrassed sometimes around you like yeah
There are all these signs that are not nothing, right?
But you kind of have to communicate I know such an annoying piece of advice. It's like you just kind of have to ask I
Know I know it's annoying
Next somebody oh my god, wait listen to this
My little kiddie is very happy to be hanging out today okay
Okay
Next
Somebody said how do I know when to give up on a crush?
This is the fucking worst. Oh my god. This is the actual worst thing ever because as I mentioned earlier
It's like you can't just turn off a crush
But there are times when we must give up on a crush
Not only am I gonna tell you how to know when it's time to give up on a crush in my opinion
But I'm also gonna give you some advice on how because that's a whole other beast figuring out how to give up on the crush
Okay, so there's a few
Ways to come to the conclusion that you need to let this crush go
Number one, you find out for certain that they don't like you back now to look at it in a glass half full way
They might like you one day like
There have been times when I've not had a crush on somebody and then randomly one day
I wake up and I have a crush on them and vice versa there have been
Times when I've liked somebody so much and they've not liked me back and then all of a sudden one day
They like me back. That's actually happened to me with two boys in my life one in high school and actually my first boyfriend
My first boyfriend did not like me back at first which was fine
We remain friends and then eventually one day they like me back and I was like what the fuck?
This is great, but also what the fuck so there's a chance that that could happen
But it doesn't matter you have to let it go if you know for sure that they don't like you back
That is an obvious reason to let it go, but it's not obvious because a lot of times we think towards
Well, they might come around and they might like us back
That could still be true and chances are if they do end up liking you down the line
Your feelings for them could research very easily, but it doesn't matter if you know that right now
They don't like you back. You got to let it go if you find that out for certain you got to let it go
Okay, that's number one number two if you start to develop feelings for this person and they start to develop feelings for you
But you start to figure out through this process of you both having a crush on each other that you're not very compatible with this person
Like I'll give you an example with you know this person I had a crush on a few months ago
Nothing ever happened with them. We never like we were just friends. I don't even know if they knew I had a crush on them like it was whatever
I started to realize that they like I was very attracted to them physically for one
Which was kind of blinding for me like I just I couldn't they were so gorgeous to me that I like
Everything that they said and everything that they did to me was perfect because they were hot
You know what I mean? I was like this is most gorgeous person I've ever seen like I cannot fathom this
So then in the beginning of my crush made me like completely aloof to what their personality was like
But then over time I started to realize we don't really have a lot to talk about we don't really have a lot in common
And not only do we not have a lot in common, but also this person isn't a big talker, okay?
and
I am such a talker and I I kind of need to date someone who
also likes talking who can keep up with
My excitement about discussing things and analyzing things this person was not like that. Okay, they're just not a talker
And then the stuff that they did talk about was not inherently interesting to me and that's fine
There are gonna be times when you date people who have interests that don't match up with yours
And it's up to you to find interest in it
But it seemed to be like a reoccurring theme where I was like we're not really having interesting conversation
I don't think not saying that this person is boring or that they can't have an interesting conversation
It's just that they have different interests than me and I have different interests than them and we don't have interesting
Riveting conversation together just because of the nature of who we both are they probably thought I was boring as fuck too
Just because we don't like the same things and also last but not least I think that we were both really shy
people when it comes to like date like
If it was ever gonna happen one of us needed to be like the leading force in the situation
And I like to date somebody who kind of takes charge in a way
Like in general, I just like someone who takes charge and
And I could tell but that was not what this person was looking for this person was also looking for somebody who would take charge
Now I could do that. I just didn't want to do that. So I don't know if this person liked me back or not
But it didn't really matter because I knew deep down even though I thought that they were the most gorgeous person
I'd ever laid my eyes on I knew deep down that this is not somebody I should date
They don't line up with me in that way
So that's another way to come to the conclusion that you should not have a crush on this person is
If you get to know them better and you realize this is not a good partner for me like I'm better off waiting and
Finding someone better now. That's a very hard conclusion to come to especially if you're like really physically attracted to them
But it's it's important because who you date and who you surround yourself with
Really impacts your well-being more than you can even imagine so that's why it is important to come to that conclusion as quickly as you can
Now when it comes to letting it go, okay?
You have to be patient with yourself because as I've mentioned now two times prior
You cannot just turn off a crush. You can't just turn it off
So you have to enter into this journey of letting the crush go with
forgiveness and
Patience with yourself
Understanding that it's gonna take some time and the feelings are not just gonna go away overnight
So there's gonna be this period of time where you know that you need to end this crush
It needs to be over you need to forget about it
But the crush is still very much there. There's gonna be a decently long period of time where that's the case
This isn't always doable depending on who your crush is if they're in your friend group or whatever
But it can be really nice to distance yourself
Again, you can't always do that if they're in your friend group
You can't alienate yourself from your friend group because you have a crush on somebody in the group and you need space from them
but
Try to create as much space as you can between you and that person
Hang out with them the least amount possible, okay?
And it can be tough if this is a friend or
Somebody that you still really like it can be painful. It can almost feel like a breakup
But it's so helpful. It's helpful in the same way. No contact is helpful when you break up with somebody out of sight out of mind
It's far easier to get over someone if they're not around you all the time
So try to get them out of your area as much as possible
But if that's not possible then it just takes patience and you might never fully get over them
But you have to sort of accept the fact that you have this crush and accept the fact that it might
Never fully go away, but that you can't have this right now
And you can hope that maybe one day they'll change their mind and they might like you back
But you can't rely on that. So you just sort of have to find acceptance and
More often than not
The longer you sit with this weird acceptance, but also
sort of grief of the fact that you can't be with them
Longer you say with that the more the feeling just goes away
Eventually the crush will go away at least two-point words no longer painful anymore
It might be in there a little bit
But it becomes very manageable another thing you can do is try to find someone else ever crush on
That's what I tend to do when I have a crush on somebody and it's just like
I gotta let this one go
I'll try to find somebody new to have a crush on I'll get excited about that prospect like who's next?
You know, okay?
It wasn't this person, but who's next and I let that be sort of a fun
distraction from this other crush
And maybe during that phase of trying to find a new crush
You distract yourself by being a little bit more social go and be social go and try new things
Where there's new people around who you could potentially have a crush on you know, there's nothing wrong with seeking out a new crush
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Next somebody said I've liked my friend for two years
But keep getting into other relationships to distract myself. What do I do? Well, I think for one you have to sort of break this cycle of
using other relationships
as a distraction from your ultimate dream if that makes sense
At times we can put ourselves into subpar situations to sort of hold us over
Until we can make our dream come true, but unfortunately
That's just not how the universe works
When you're in another relationship the door is not open then for what you want to come in
Now this goes beyond this specific situation like in general if you're somebody who just can't be alone
And there's nothing like you're not a bad person if you are if you're like that, you know
It's better to not be like that. It's better to work towards finding comfort being alone as well
But there's nothing wrong with you. Okay, that's a very normal part of
Being a human a lot of us fear being alone
But you can find yourself in shitty relationships
Because you'd rather be in a something shitty than be alone
Now the problem with that is whenever you're in a relationship
Energetically like not to get spiritual with it, but I swear it feels like energetically
Nothing new and better and improved can come in unless you're completely
Single free independent open if you're in another relationship the universe and and whatever whatever power is that be will not give you
A replacement like you want it to I don't know why but I just feel like
From some it feels spiritual almost how the universe just does not want to give you that when you're in another relationship
And I have absolutely experienced this like I've been like oh, maybe I'll just stay in this for a little longer and
See if something else comes my way. That's better. Guess what that doesn't happen a lot
Okay, what tends to happen is the second that you let that person go and you're single again
And you're free and you're finding your independence and you're happy without anyone else not even happy and you're fulfilled being alone
For the time being
That's when the universe gives you something new. I swear it happens to me without fail every single time
So that's the first step you need to be single for this
It's not fair to you or the people that you're dating to be in the relationship just to avoid pain
Like you're avoiding the pain that comes with having a crush on your friend and being too afraid to ruin the friendship
To have a conversation about it and to really figure it out any
Any relationship built on a foundation of running away from something is not good and not healthy and
It's not fair. It's not fair to you. And it's not fair to the other person. It's actually even more unfair for the other person
So I would say for now you need to be single that's step one
Step two you got to have the conversation. It's been two years
And you're starting to fall into sort of self-sabotaging behavior
You're getting yourself into shitty relationships
Which is not benefiting your quality of life like you're better off going to your friend having a conversation about it and potentially
Even ruining the friendship for a period of time
You're better off doing that than you are continuing the way that you are now for your own
Well-being and quality of life you have to communicate at this point in my opinion
Okay, in my opinion
I think you just need to have the conversation and be like listen
I don't want those to be weird, but I do kind of wish we could date like how fun would it be?
What do you think you want to do or no?
Like you can make it silly you can make it lighthearted and
It's also important to give them an out so that they feel like they can say no
I don't have feelings for you in that way and they don't feel like you're gonna be mad and if you are able to
Execute that type of conversation
You might end up disappointed you might not get the result that you want
But at least you know then what you're working with because it's impossible to make a choice a
positive choice
To help you move forward if you don't know if they like you back or not you can't make a decision
So at least having this conversation will let you know
So you can act accordingly if they like you then it's like okay
Well, this is amazing now you can date whatever blah blah blah happily ever after if they don't like you
Then now you know okay, you know what I need to let this one go and I need to start taking the steps
So let this go and I need to start seeking out new people who maybe I could develop crushes on who will like me back
Who I can date in a way that's genuine and authentic, you know
Next somebody said how to make a hookup casual without catching feelings. I'm in shambles
Okay, so my advice for this is like weirdly goes against
My morals, but it's like the only way I've been able to do it is as follows
If you hook up with someone who you don't like that much
You will not catch feelings for them now the reason why this is challenging is because a lot of times
You don't want to hook up with somebody that you don't like it's like we want to hook up with people who we like a lot
But at times you can find this perfect middle ground where it's someone who you may be find physically attractive
Or you may be think that they're funny or something
But there's enough about them that you don't like that it's safe you won't catch feelings
But there's enough also about them that you do like so that it's not like repulsive for you to hook up with them
The reason why this is against my morals is because I just feel like there's something gross about being like
Yeah, I don't like this person that much. I'm gonna hook up with them
Because they might like you will laugh and that feels gross to me like I don't know
I think it is fine to do that. I've done that I have done that in fact like every random hookup that I've had
That's not led to me dating the person has been a hookup that I made a tactful choice about
I was like I will never want to date this person
But they're hot enough to me in one way or another that I could do this once or twice
You know what I mean?
So that's my honest advice as you just have to choose someone who you don't like
Which is a little bit less fun. I'll be honest
But I think the other thing to consider is what type of person are you?
Okay, so let's use me for example. I'm a relationship girl. I love being in relationships
That's my favorite way of dating like some people love being single and they love just hook me up with everybody and they don't have a problem catching feelings and
That's what makes them happy. Okay, some people like to be in open relationships like everybody's so different
So you need to figure out what you are in the dating world who you are in the dating world
I'll use me again as an example. I tend to catch feelings pretty vividly and
And I can get my heart broken pretty easily if things don't go the way that I wanted them to I get sad
Because I I like being attached to boys like I like I like being attached to them
You know, I'm not somebody who's a guard around their heart and
Can pick and choose when they're super close with somebody and when they you know have really deep feelings for somebody
I'm just not like that. I'm prone to relationships. So with that being said I
Can't just like casually hook up with someone I have I have a crush on I can't do that
Because if they don't like me back, it will absolutely destroy my life. I can't hook up with somebody that I'm really really into
Like if I just met someone and I'm like damn they kind of seem
Perfect so far, you know, I
Try not to hook up with that person because I need to know that they like me back and that we like each other
Before I can hook up with them because I will get destroyed otherwise. So that's just who I am
So the only types of people that I can casually hook up with somewhat successfully is people that I don't really like that much
And I know that I will never like them
And you can tell you're like
Maybe they're kind of cringe to you. Maybe their style is just not your style
Maybe they're not that riveting to talk to blah blah blah blah blah
You know that there's something about them that is never gonna work for you
But that comes out of cost too because when you hook up with someone like that
Sometimes you can feel a little icky about it after in fact
I have many times where I'm like I went into this for the wrong reasons
But also because I don't like them very much the experience kind of felt icky
You know kind of felt gross like I don't I don't need somebody touching me like that who I don't really really like
Like that can sometimes feel icky
So it's kind of a catch 22
It's very hard you just might not be somebody who can naturally hook up with people and compartmentalize your
Feelings like some people can just do that. I can't it's all too serious to me like I
Put having sex with people on a pedestal. It means something to me and so I don't know
I think it's a very hard thing to navigate you just might not be the type of person who can do it
In a way that is positive for your life. I feel like I'm that way like I just I can't do it in a way that has a net
Positive in my life. That's just who I am and you might be the same way
So it's about figuring out who you are you don't need to casually hook up with people like I've come to the conclusion now
That I'm probably never gonna have a one night stand again
And I'm saying that in general. I'm not just saying that because of what like
What situation I'm in or not in right now. It doesn't matter like no matter what situation I'm in in the future
I don't think I'll ever do that again because it doesn't fucking work with me. I
Take sex too seriously to be able to almost do it casually. It's too deep for me
It's too vulnerable for me and you know what? There's nothing wrong with that
There's nothing wrong with looking at sex in a sacred way. There's also nothing wrong with looking at it in a casual way
There's nothing wrong with that. It's just how you view it
There's no like, you know moral right and wrong and how you view sex
But if you are somebody who sees it as something more sacred
Which is why you tend to save it for people that you really like which ends up making it not casual at all and you end up catching feelings
Or you end up feeling icky if you have sex with people that you don't really like because you're like
What the hell like I just did something that I feel sacred with somebody who is not sacred to me that feels icky
If you're somebody who's like that you just might not be able to have
casual sex with people
Like me, but then there are some people who see sex as casual who don't take it as seriously who
Maybe are more sexual by nature
They can hook up with whoever like that's that's a different I can't even give advice about that mindset because I don't know anything about it
But that's another type of person, you know what I mean? And it's just easier for that type of person
I have a feeling that if you're asking me this question, you're not that type of person because that type of person doesn't need advice on this
But there's nothing wrong with experimenting don't let me discourage you from experimenting
If you're like fuck I really do want to figure out a way to hook up with people casually
Experiment try hooking up with somebody that you don't really like who like you still think is cool
And you're still attracted to them, but who you know you'd never want to date try it see if it works for you
See what positives and negatives come with that. I understand being in channels about it though because my god have I been there
The last thing I'm gonna say about it too is that there is sort of this societal pressure to have casual sex
Now it's funny because it wasn't that way, you know
50 years ago like casual sex
Was not as accepted, but even more bizarrely it was like ashamed of whereas now at least in Gen Z
It's like cool and hot to be very sexual actively sexual actively having sex
You know casual hookups as much as possible
You know we live in the in the era of hookup culture. So it is praise to be
Very sexually active with many different partners and to be exploratory
And I think that that's great. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that
However, there are some people like me who do not
Thrive in that environment who do not thrive in that lifestyle
Okay, it makes me miserable and it makes me feel icky and it's not because I'm old-fashioned
It's not because I'm no it's because to me sex is a sacred thing
That I only like to have with some people who I really really really really really really like
And that's when sex is the most fun for me as well sex is not fun for me when it's with a random person
It's not fun. I I don't like it. I feel weirded out. I'm too nervous. I'm uncomfortable
It's not like I'm the fucking am I gonna have an orgasm? No, are they gonna be able to figure that out? No
So like I it's pointless for me. It's like we're not in a rhythm. You don't know me. This is weird
I don't really like you. Why am I doing this with you?
Ew like ew. It just gives me the egg. It gives me the egg, okay
So it's okay to feel that way a lot of us who are similar to me feel bad or weird or
shameful about the fact that we can't have casual sex
But there's nothing wrong with waiting for a partner who you have more trust with who you have a deeper bond with
who you have more of a commitment to there's nothing wrong with that and I can
Almost guarantee you that for the remainder of my life
I probably will not hook up with random people
I just don't see it ever happening again for me. I think I've learned my lesson enough
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Okay, last but not least somebody said how to flirt dot dot dot
Okay, here's the thing. I'm not the best
Flurder, okay, I don't have the most insane game in fact
I
tend to be very platonic
With people I have a crush on to a fault
I tend to be very reliant on the other person making move on me
And then all you know slowly but surely
Arrive you know what I mean? I will arrive eventually, but I tend to let the boys
You know, I tend to let them take over for me. I don't really need to do it
It's okay. You guys can do it for me. You can be the one to grab my hand
You can be the one to like give me a little side hug randomly at the random time or something you can be the one to like
Compliment my outfit. I'm not gonna do it first. No
No, I'm not gonna do it first
However, I flirted before it's not that I have not
It's just that I tend to rely on the other person to do it, which is lazy of me, but
I think the biggest mistake that we make in flirting is to take advice
That's actually my advice. Don't listen to anyone else's advice about flirting
Because here's the thing
flirting is something that has to be natural. It has to be authentic to you
When it's not and when you're taking advice from somebody else
It feels forced it feels
Inauthentic and it's not as effective
You know, it's all that experimenting and figuring out what works for you. You know some people
They like to do a little hand touch or like a little arm touch when they're talking
Nothing that gets in the way of somebody else's privacy
You know, it's not like a it's just like a little tap, you know like little contact
I think that that's completely reasonable
Some people like doing that and that's what comes naturally to them
Some people like to be complimentary of the other person
Maybe that's what comes naturally for you
Some people like to sort of make fun of the other person in a way that's harmless
You know that might be the way that you do it some people like to have really good eye contact some people like to
I don't know there's so many different ways to do it and there's really no wrong way to do it unless you're obviously
Doing something that makes the other person feel uncomfortable, right?
It's always better to err on the side of caution and be more conservative with your flirting because
You want to make sure that the other person doesn't feel uncomfortable
But other than that
There's no wrong way to do it in in fact
The best way to do it is to do it in your way
So like don't listen to what anyone else says if someone says oh, yeah, like
I always use this one line on on people. I'm like, you know
Hey, your your hand looks your hand looks warm. Maybe I could get you a cold drink for that
Would you like me to buy you a drink? It's the worst. I just came up with that
I just came up with that and you if you ever use that
you will never
It's eight years of bad luck like that. It don't ever say that
But you know what I'm saying like if somebody
Gives you some advice like that don't follow it because it's not gonna work for you
You have to find your own way with it and you have to just
Be intuitive with it my biggest piece of advice is if you can find a way to calm down
into
settle into your own body again when you're around somebody who you're interested in
That will naturally allow you to flirt
We tend to focus on like how do we flirt how do we flirt?
One more we should really be focusing on is how can we be as comfortable
And as ourselves as possible when we're around somebody we're interested in we're focusing on the wrong thing
Because naturally if you can find a way to take this person off the pedestal
And be comfortable around them the flirting will just come that's what we forget about
We're too focused on on how to flirt unless focused on how do we just be ourselves around this person
So I would say that's my advice
Anyway
Ah that's the only effort today. I wish you all luck on your journey with your crushes. It's
Double edge sword, you know, it's it's fun, but it's a nightmare, but it's exhilarating and distracting
but it's
Torturous and painful. It's just one of those things
Anyway, I love you all. Thank you all so much for listening and hanging out. I hope that you enjoyed it
If you did tune in Thursdays and Sundays new episodes twice a week
Anywhere the you stream podcasts although videos exclusive to Spotify
Check out anything goes on Instagram and anything goes on TikTok at
Anything goes you can follow me on Instagram and Emma Chamberlain on YouTube
Emma Chamberlain on TikTok. I don't really know my username is changing like every 30 minutes right now
But I'm back on TikTok. Which is super weird
But find me on TikTok now then back on there check out my coffee company chamberlain coffee
You can find us online chamberlaincovy.com. You can find a store locator on chamberlaincovy.com and see if we're in a store near you or
Just order us online. It's even easier. That's all I have for today. I love you all
I appreciate you all and I can't wait to talk to you soon
I'll talk to you in a few days and I just love you
