Lemonada.
Puberty.
The Podcast is hosted by me, Molly Bloom of the award-winning science podcast Brains On, and co-hosted by high schoolers who've just been through it.
Experts are on hand to provide science-filled explanations.
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That's why we make Smash Boom best.
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Thank you.
Now, it's showtime.
From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
The show for people with big opinions.
Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together and ask you to decide which one is best.
Today two dinnertime delights.
Both are great grilled, sauteed and mixed in salad, but only one is the Smash Boom Fest.
It's onions versus corn.
Here to slice and dice for Team Onion is Brian Kvitko.
He's an associate professor at the University of Georgia and an actual onion researcher.
That's right.
And I'm here to tell you why onions are going to make you cry.
And sounding the horn for Team Corn, it's Jason Wallace.
He's also an associate professor at the University of Georgia and an actual corn researcher.
Now, Molly, I think corn has this in the bin.
I think onions is going to go home in tears.
Ugh.
And here to crown the very best veggie is Jubilee from Bozeman, Montana.
Jubilee.
Rides horses, loves barrel racing, does claymation, plays guitar and has been described by her mom as a party in a person.
Hi Jubilee.
Hi Molly.
So Jubilee, what is a barrel race?
Barrel race is basically just a really fast rodeo event where you and your horse kind of just maneuver around three barrels in a certain barrel pattern.
Wow.
That is really cool.
Do you ride the same horse every time you do that?
Yeah, I do.
Her name is Blue.
She's actually pretty short, but she's really fast and she's the cutest horse ever.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
Okay.
So when you're going really fast, are you scared?
Are you excited?
What are you feeling in that moment?
Honestly, I'm scared most of the time because whenever Blue goes, she's really bumpy when she gallops, so usually my stirrups fall out and I sometimes fall.
But Oh my gosh, so you're just like holding on as tight as you can.
Yeah, pretty much.
Wow, you are very brave.
Now, tell me about your claymation videos.
What are you claymating?
I usually just make little people out of the clay and then I use just pictures and I take a picture, then move it, then take a picture and stuff and then put it all together and it makes this cool video.
It makes it look alive.
That's really, really cool.
So, Jubilee, you've listened to Smash Boom Best a lot.
What advice do you have for our debaters today?
Just make it as funny as possible.
I love comedy and I love history.
Do a lot of history too.
Can do on both counts.
Yeah, I think I can as well.
Excellent.
Will Jubilee crown Korn the winner or will she go all in for onions?
Let's see.
First, here are the rules.
Every debate consists of four rounds the declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack and the final six.
After each round, our judge Jubilee will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too.
Mark down your points as you listen.
At the end of the show, head to our website smashboomorg, and vote for whichever team you think won.
Okay, Jason, Brian, and Jubilee, are you ready?
Yep, I'm ready.
Yeah.
Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness.
In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side.
Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's arguments.
We flipped a coin, and Jason, you are up first.
Time to lend an ear to Team Korn's arguments.
Corn is both my passion and my career.
I've been studying corn for nearly 15 years.
I grow a bunch of different types every single summer.
I even made a portrait of DNA out of different colored corn kernels.
I was going to say no one loves corn more than me, but here's the thing.
Everybody loves corn.
For starters, there are endless ways to eat it.
In tortillas, chips, cereals, stews, soups, breads, hominy, grits.
Corn is like glitter after a birthday party.
It's everywhere.
But you can't beat fresh corn on the cob smothered in mayo and chili, or butter with a smidge of salt.
It's packed with nutrients, fiber, and just plain old deliciousness.
No wonder corn is the basis of entire civilizations.
Corn helped people build cultures like the Aztec, the Maya, and the Olmecs in ancient Mesoamerica.
Most Native American cultures viewed and still view corn as a gift from the gods.
And many of these cultures had an actual corn god.
Have you ever heard of an onion god?
Probably the closest you'll get is people praying to get their eyes to stop watering or to get the smell of onion juice out of their expensive walnut cutting board.
Oh no, not again.
Time to get a new cutting board.
Corn is also a rainbow.
You're probably familiar with yellow corn, but there's also red orange yellow green blue purple brown black, white and pink.
And I want you to ask yourself this burning hot question.
Can you imagine a world without popcorn at the movies?
Welcome to the movies.
Tickets, please.
This is my first movie.
It's his first movie.
Wow, your first movie.
What's that smell?
Why, that's a classic movie snack, of course.
It smelled really, really bad.
Here, let's buy a bag.
You can't watch a movie without a bag of everyone's favorite movie snack.
One bag of onions, please.
Of course.
Coming right up.
Ew!
I don't think I like going to the movies.
You're missing out.
No, Billy's mom, he's not missing out.
The only time popcorn makes you cry is when you run out.
Meanwhile, onions are famous for releasing chemicals that make our eyes sting and tear up.
How can anyone honestly get behind a vegetable that's out to get us?
Corn has been feeding humans for over 9,000 years.
It helped build empires.
It has its own gods and its own rainbow.
It's in your cereal, your tortilla chips, your lap at the movie theater.
It's most likely inside your body right now.
And onions?
Onions are out here declaring war on our eyeballs.
Corn doesn't do that.
Corn would never do that.
Corn just shows up and it asks for nothing in return except maybe a little butter.
That's not just food.
That's a best friend.
Best friends forever.
More like corn friends forever.
Jubilee, what stood out to you about Jason's argument?
Probably how many different colored corns there are.
I didn't know there were that many.
I only seen like the purple and yellow.
I don't know.
There are so many. and that it's been feeding people for over 9,000 years.
I thought that was pretty cool.
That is pretty cool.
Okay, Brian, you get 30 seconds to chop down Korn's arguments.
Your time starts now.
So you want to talk about flavor?
Onions are where the flavor comes from.
Onions play well with everything.
It's what makes food taste good.
Take corn, take away that butter, take away that sugar.
What are you left with?
Just bland.
In fact, most corn that's grown in the country isn't even for people to eat.
It's for animal feed.
And in terms of how old they are, onions are one of the very first domesticated vegetables ever.
So I think they've got corn beet.
And time.
Fresh corn isn't always bland.
I eat it straight out of the field, without any butter or salt, or even cooking it, and it's absolutely delicious.
As for age, remember, corn built empires for thousands upon thousands of years.
It was part of the three sisters of many cultures in the Americas.
No one built an empire out of onions, sorry.
Hmm.
Okay.
Well, I'm guessing Brian has a lot more to say.
He's going to try to make the competition cry.
And we're going to take a quick break.
So that's right after this.
We're back.
We heard all about corn, and now it's time to go all in for onions.
Take it away, Brian.
Settle down, class.
Settle down.
Welcome, everyone, to Onionology 101.
I am Professor Brian Kovico.
Today we'll be doing dissections.
We're going to peel back the layers of facts and get at the secret of why onions are so far superior to corn.
Now, take your scalpels.
Make a small nick in your laboratory onion.
And we peel.
It's like unwrapping a little gift.
Now, class, what do you see?
Um, an onion?
Surprise!
Yes, an onion, albeit a slightly smaller one.
Let's peel another scale.
That's what these layers are called, by the way.
And actually, you might be surprised to learn that scales are modified leaves.
And yes, we have revealed an even smaller onion.
But I'm not going to lie to you, class.
It's onions all the way down.
But that's part of what makes onions special.
In fact, the ancient Egyptians revered this vegetable for that very reason.
They saw the onion with an onion with an onion with an onion as a symbol of eternal life.
And that may be why onions were used as funeral offerings and buried in tombs with kings.
That brings up another point.
People have been growing and eating onions for more than 5,000 years.
It's one of humanity's earliest cultivated crops.
And today, onions are one of the most widely grown vegetables in the world.
Every culinary tradition on earth uses alliums like onions, garlic, shallots, chives.
People can't get enough of them.
Okay, let's peel off another scale and see what we get.
Onion!
Oh, okay.
Some of you are crying.
Totally normal.
Do the rest of your cutting under running water.
That'll help.
Also chilling the onions in the freezer for a couple of minutes before you chop can reduce tears, or putting them into the microwave for 20 to 30 seconds.
By the way, that burning in your eyes, it's chemistry.
When onions are cut, they release chemicals that combine to make volatile gas and all of those delicious flavors.
That gas floats up to your eyes and reacts with the natural moisture in your eyes to make sulfuric acid, which burns.
Not great for us, but it's a fantastic defense mechanism for the onions.
It stops many a critter from digging up and eating the onion bulb, which of course, the onion would not want.
We put up with it because eating onions is worth it.
There are also links between eating onions and reduced risks of cancer, better human health, reduced blood clots and lower blood pressure.
Plus, they taste great, which we'll get more to in a second.
But first, let's remove one last scale.
No surprise what we're going to.
Wait, what is this?
How did this?
I've never seen.
Wait, what?
What is that?
Just kidding.
It's more onion.
Ugh, seriously?
But hey, onions have nothing to hide.
So many recipes call for onions because their bold, pungent, and sweet flavors give life to dishes.
You can saute them, caramelize them, pickle them, or eat them raw on a burger for a zesty crunch.
Unlike corn, which gets used as a lot of filler material.
Then you have to gussy up with salt or butter or sugar or hey, even onions, to make them taste good.
Okay, class is over.
Everybody dump your chopped onion bits into this pot.
Wait, Professor, was this just a trick to get us to prep food for you?
And everyone's getting an A. Yippee!
All right, who wants extra credit?
We're going to make onion rings.
Yay!
Oh, yes!
Hooray!
Oh my gosh, I'm so hungry.
I would love some of those onion rings.
Jubilee, what stood out to you about Brian's argument?
Probably that running an onion underwater can help you not cry and freezing it helps you not cry, because that would be really helpful for my mom honestly.
I'm going to tell her that.
Yeah, super life hack there.
Okay, Jason, it is time for you to take a bite out of Team Onion's arguments.
You've got 30 seconds to rebut, and your time starts now.
Okay, so onions are like ogres.
They have layers, they're smelly, and they're kind of gross.
We get it.
But even if your matryoshka onions have been part of ancient Egyptian culture for eternal life, anyone who said an onion out on the counter knows it's not actually eternal.
It goes bad pretty fast, and it stinks when it does.
Meanwhile, you made the best argument for me.
Onions are making sulfuric acid in your eyeballs.
Do I really need to say more after this point?
And finally, onions never really are the star of a dish.
They're like the professional sidekick.
They're the eternal Robin to the Batman of whatever's going on.
And time.
Corn is also a sidekick, never the star.
Sidekick versus sidekick today.
But both very delicious sidekicks.
Okay, Jubilee, it is time to award some points.
Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over.
You get to decide what makes a winning argument.
Did one team teach you more?
Did another make your mouth water?
Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to.
Jubilee, have you made your decision?
Yes.
Excellent.
Brian and Jason, how are you two feeling so far?
Feeling pretty good.
It's all about the flavor.
I'm feeling pretty good.
I also think Brian needs to actually try some things like grits or polenta or other things, where corn is actually the star of the show.
Oh, no, no argument there, but try it without butter and salt.
Ew.
I would argue that most onions are also accompanied by butter and salt.
Okay.
It is time for a quick break.
Throw another cob on the grill or chop up another sweet onion.
And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
You're listening to State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
Hello, debate heads.
I'm Todd Douglas, and I'm here with the one and only... Taylor Lincoln.
And it must be a day ending, and why?
Because we just found a logical fallacy.
Logical fallacies are debate no-no's that make your argument easy to defeat.
Let's listen.
Look, Dirk, over there.
It's a northern cardinal.
I see it, Peggy.
It's gorgeous.
Is there anything better than bird watching on a Sunday morning?
Can't imagine there is.
And is there any bird better than the beautiful Northern Cardinal?
I mean, maybe.
There are a lot of birds out there.
What?
You're saying you hate the Northern Cardinal?
It's an incredible bird.
Look at its red feathers, its distinguished beak, the elegant bounce in its step.
How can you hate this avian work of art?
Settle down, Dirk.
There are other birds in the world.
Just because I don't think the cardinal is the best doesn't mean I hate it.
It's the northern cardinal, you fiend.
And if you don't love it, well, you hate it.
Whoa, those two may have been bird watchers, but they were far from birds of a feather.
I'll say, Dirk was using the false dichotomy fallacy, also known as the black and white fallacy.
That's when a person makes it seem like there are only two choices available when there are more.
Yeah, not loving the Northern Cardinal isn't the same as hating it.
Hey, you know what all this bird talk is putting me in the mood for?
A frittata?
No, bird watching.
Grab your binoculars and meet me outside.
We'll see you next time on... State of Debate!
Smash.
Boom.
You're listening to Smash Boom Best.
I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
And I'm your judge, Jubilee.
And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners like this one.
Hi, my name is Evelyn and I'm from Oklahoma.
My debate idea is Legos versus puzzles.
Oh, Lego and puzzles are both great for a rainy afternoon.
We'll hear who Evelyn thinks should win at the end of the show.
And now it's back to our debate, onions versus corn.
That's right.
And it's time for round two, the micro round.
It's time for a fact-off.
Brian and Jason will each get three chances to make a micro-argument backed by a cool fact or idea.
Jason went first last round, so Brian, you're going to start us off.
Let's hear your first fact about onions.
Onion flowers are beautiful.
They come in all different colors from white to pink to purple.
They look like big, beautiful puffballs.
Well, corn is amazing not just because one of its original names is maize, which means a life-giving seed.
You can make an actual maize out of corn where you grow it up, you cut it down in a certain shape and then you have people wander through in the fall.
You've probably seen these at various harvest festivals.
And people can turn it into cool artwork from above.
How cool is it that you can have one crop that can feed you, be a living escape room and be a work of art at the same time.
So onion is the basis for many different types of folk remedies that actually work.
There was a medieval recipe called bald's eye salve that had onions garlic ox, bile and wine boiled in a copper kettle.
And it was actually found to treat antibiotic resistant bacteria.
Well, like recently, right?
Oh, recently, yeah.
It was reconstructed the recipe from an old medieval text.
Very cool.
Well, we grow tons of corn.
In fact, we grow over a billion tons of corn every single year.
That's enough corn to bury all of Washington, D.C. over 35 feet deep.
That's a three story building deep.
Can you imagine trying to visit like that?
You could see the Washington Monument, but good luck trying to get at it.
It's also over 10 times as much as we grow onions over the world, which shows that world over we love corn, literally at least 10 times as much as we love onions.
Onions are used in every type of cuisine all across the world.
Imagine trying to have your dinner, your lunch or anything without onions in it.
You may not notice it's there but you're going to miss it when it's gone.
All right, this is the most important one.
Jubilee, you said you liked humor.
Corn is the punniest crop on earth.
If you lend me your ears and I'll pop off a bumper crop of silky smooth, amazing and corny puns.
I've been stocking them up for years.
Shucks.
Brian and I both studied at Cornell for a few years, which I think means he should just hand this to me by default.
Grown.
You're going to win with a series of dad jokes strung together?
That stinks worse than, well, you know.
Amazing dad jokes.
Oh, my gosh.
I love it.
Okay, Jubilee, what's it out to you about this micro round?
Probably.
I thought it was amazing that they used onions for some remedies and I started listening like really intently when he started saying cornfields, because
I've had a very traumatizing past with cornfields.
Oh, no.
What happened?
Well, we went in a cornfield, me and my friend.
It was a Halloween night, and it was really dark, and we got lost.
And my sister and her friend had to find us and bring us out.
Oh, my goodness.
I mean, he came back when he started doing the puns, which really, I really like that.
So he scared you with the cornfields, but the puns won you over.
Do you believe I feel for you?
So when I was... doing a study at Cornell, I had to go collect samples at midnight.
And I quickly learned why so many horror movies happen in cornfields at midnight.
Because when there's no light and you can't see more than five feet away from yourself, they can indeed be quite scary.
So I get you, which is why I don't go into cornfields at night anymore.
I go during the day when they're nice and happy and sunny.
Well, you would never have to worry about that with onions.
Onions only come up to your knee.
And I thought we were making an argument that corn wouldn't traumatize you.
And then onions were the traumatic vegetable.
So I guess really there's a little trauma on both sides.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well.
Jubilee.
Time to decide which trauma is scarier to you.
It is time to award a point.
The criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you.
Have you made your decision?
Yes, I have.
Perfect.
Keep it a secret and we'll be right back.
We're back with this fantastic food fight and we're launching into round three, the... Sneak attack.
This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot.
Today, you are both experts on your respective sides, but how much of an expert...
We're going to play Let's Get Quizzical.
I'm going to give each of you two trivia questions about your side, and you're going to do your best to answer them.
Does that make sense, Jason and Brian?
I hope so.
I'm all ears.
Okay.
All right, Jason, you're going to start us off.
Here's your first question.
In 1949, a senator from Oregon tried to ban popcorn from movie theaters.
Why?
I have to be honest.
I have no idea, but it was probably something about disturbing the peace or corrupting the young.
Okay, okay.
I'm going to give you at least half a point, because they were tried to ban popcorn for being too noisy, aka disturbing the peace.
Because the bill would also ban peanuts and made it so anyone caught eating these snacks couldn't be thrown out of the theater.
They were too noisy.
They got in the way of movie watching.
Okay, Brian.
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the world's largest onion weighed 19 pounds and 12 ounces.
In what country did this massive onion grow?
I believe that was grown in Wales.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Correct.
Wow.
It was grown by farmer Gareth Griffin.
He'd been trying for 13 years to break this record before finally doing it in 2023.
There are amazing pictures of this very sweet farmer lovingly smooching his onion.
I love that.
All right, Jason, corn mazes, as we've talked about, are super popular.
That's where farmers cut a path through a field of corn and people try to find their way through.
The idea, though, is less than 100 years old.
In what decade did the first major corn maze happen?
So I would guess 19...
I am sorry to say that it was so much more recent than that.
Almost impossible to believe, but it was the 1990s.
In fact, the idea came from a producer who worked on Broadway, had worked for Disney and even played the king in a Burger King test commercial.
His name was Don France, and he came up with the idea after flying in planes over fields of corn where seemingly nothing was going on.
And, like hedge mazes, have been around for a long time.
But I guess he was the first one to say let's do it with corn.
Well, I think he was probably the first person to commercialize it because, as Jubilee and I both know, people have been getting lost in corn mazes for a very long time, even if it wasn't intentional.
Exactly.
Now he's like, now I'm going to charge you to get lost in a corn field.
It's perfect.
Okay.
Brian.
The legendary rock band, The Beatles, wrote a song called Glass Onion.
What album is Glass Onion from?
Can I phone a friend?
I'm sorry, no.
Yellow Submarine?
I'm sorry.
It was the White Album.
Brian, I could have told you that, and I don't know anything about the Beatles.
It's always the White Album.
It was written as a joke, making light of how people read too much into the lyrics from the band.
It's full of references and nonsense to confuse people looking for secret meanings in Beatles songs.
Hmm.
Okay, that is the end of our trivia.
And Jubilee, you'll see that each one of our debaters got one right and each one got one wrong.
So you get to decide who gets a point for this sneak attack round.
It could be who had style with their answer, who seemed certain, who was open to possibility, whatever the criteria are,
They're completely subjective and up to you.
Please award your fourth point.
Thank you.
Have you awarded it?
Yes, I have.
Great.
And then it's time for our final round.
The final six.
In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side.
Brian, you're up first.
Grill it up for onions.
Onions win the flavor game.
Very nice.
Okay, Jason, last chance to make us crave corn.
Sacred grain, modern staple, no tears.
Oh, very good.
Okay, Jubilee, you heard those excellent final sixes.
But please award a final point for this final six.
Have you made your decision?
Yes, I have.
All right.
Tally up those points, Jubilee.
Are you ready to crown one side the smash boom best?
Yes.
Okay.
Drumroll, please.
And the winner is... Corn.
Shucks.
Thank you, Jubilee.
Grown.
So Jubilee, what was your favorite part of the debate?
Probably the sneak attack.
The trivia?
Yes, definitely.
Excellent.
Was it a close debate?
Kind of.
They were...
She means no.
They were a point apart.
Oh, well, that's as close as you can get.
Yeah.
Excellent work.
Brian, I appreciate how you taught me several things about onions I hadn't heard before.
I didn't know the Egyptians considered them symbols of immortality.
And I also did not know that someone grew a 19 pound onion.
And now I really want to see that person giving it a kiss.
Jason, I appreciate how many different ways that you told us about all the different things that corn is in, all of the delicious things that corn can be in.
Maybe it's not as boring as I thought.
Excellent, excellent work, you guys.
I learned so much today.
Well, Jubilee crowned Korn the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
This episode was produced by me, Molly Bloom, and Mark Sanchez.
It was sound designed by Rachel Brees, and Mark Sanchez wrote our theme song.
We had engineering help from Gil Stober.
Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman.
Brian, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
I would like to give a shout out to my onion collaborator, Bhavesh Dutta, who does a lot of work with Fidalia Onion Farmers.
I do want to also shout out my wonderful debate opponent, Jason.
Oh, you guys.
And how about you, Jason?
Anyone you want to give a special shout out to?
So I want to give a shout out to the amazing group of corn researchers that have been here for the past hundred years doing great work to bring us better corn.
If you want to know more about it, I check out a video one group made called Pop Secret on YouTube, which shows the history of corn and how it may have all started with popcorn.
Very cool.
And Julie, anyone you'd like to give a special thanks or shout out to?
I'd like to give a special shout out to my sisters, Lucy and Lavender, and my mom and dad for letting me do this, and my friends the Connellys, for showing me Smash being best.
That is lovely.
Before we go, let's check in and see who Evelyn thinks should win the debate between Legos and Puzzles.
I think Lego should win, because you can do anything you want with them.
But puzzles, on the other hand, you have to follow instructions.
Bye.
See ya.
Adios.
Thanks for coming.
Honestly, I just got more into it when you said onion rings.
I love onion rings.
Everyone loves an onion ring.
Yeah.
