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[Mastering Performance: The Power of Attributes in High-Stakes Negotiations]-[The One Attribute You’re Missing That Separates Good from Great Negotiators with Navy SEAL Rich Diviney]

Negotiate Anything · B2 · 2025-01-29

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📋 Summary

Beyond Skills: The Foundation of High-Performance

In this episode of Negotiate Anything, host Kwame Christian interviews former Navy SEAL and author Rich Diviney to explore the critical distinction between skills and attributes in professional and personal performance. While society often fixates on skills—the things we are trained to do—Diviney argues that our success in moments of stress, challenge, and uncertainty is fundamentally dictated by our attributes.

Skills vs. Attributes: Defining the Performance Picture

Diviney defines skills as things that are not inherent to our nature; they are trained behaviors, such as driving a car or riding a bike. Because they are measurable and easily assessed, they often dominate resumes and hiring processes. However, skills fail to predict how an individual will perform in an unknown or chaotic environment.

In contrast, attributes are inherent to our nature—qualities like patience, situational awareness, and adaptability. Diviney notes that we are all born with these, though they exist at different levels for everyone. He uses the analogy of a "dimmer switch" or a car engine: we are all different "vehicles" (Jeeps, SUVs, or Ferraris), and understanding our unique attribute profile allows us to stop forcing ourselves into roles that create unnecessary friction.

Navigating Difficult Conversations Under Pressure

When it comes to negotiation and high-stakes communication, Diviney emphasizes that the ability to handle pressure relies on specific attributes, notably emotional awareness and empathy. He highlights that:

  • Empathy is a Superpower: Contrary to the belief that empathy is "fluffy," Diviney identifies it as a critical tool for understanding the motivations of others. By listening before speaking, leaders can uncover the root of resistance.
  • Accountability as Control: Accountability is not just about taking blame; it is a strategic tool. By owning a situation, an individual puts themselves in the "driver's seat," allowing them to steer the narrative rather than being a victim of circumstance.
  • The Resilience-Perseverance Balance: Diviney introduces the concept of the "rubber band" model. While perseverance keeps a person moving forward, resilience is the ability to return to a baseline state. Without resilience, high performers risk "spinning out" or suffering from burnout.

Optimization Through Teaming

Diviney offers a refreshing take on diversity by suggesting that we should stop judging "low" attributes in ourselves or others. Instead, we should leverage teaming. If a person is naturally impatient, they can partner with someone who has high levels of patience. This approach removes the judgment from performance reviews and focuses on how individuals can complement each other’s strengths to optimize team outcomes.

Practical Development: Dialing Up and Down

To develop or manage these attributes, Diviney suggests a three-step process:

  1. Identify: Acknowledge your current attribute levels.
  2. Motivation: Determine if there is a genuine need to change (noting that some "low" attributes are actually the source of one's success).
  3. Environment: Seek out environments that "test and tease" the specific attribute you wish to develop.

Ultimately, the conversation concludes that the fundamentals of negotiation remain universal. Whether in a war zone or a boardroom, the key to success is having the strength to apply these core human attributes consistently, even when the environment is steeped in chaos and uncertainty.

🎯Key Sentences

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Rich, thanks for joining us today.
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Well, thank you for having me.
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It's a pleasure to be here.
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that all started because I spent...
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thank you for your service, of course.
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📝Key Phrases

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navigate career pivots
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delve into
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set the stage
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bring to the table
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have what it takes
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📖 Transcript

From LinkedIn News, I'm Jessi Hempel, host of the Hello Monday podcast.
Start your week with the Hello Monday podcast.
We'll navigate career pivots. We'll learn where happiness fits in.
Listen to Hello Monday with me, Jessi Hempel, on the LinkedIn Podcast Network or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Kwame Christian and you are about to step into the world of Negotiate Anything. the number one negotiation podcast in the world where we teach you how to make difficult conversations easier while getting more of what you want in the process.
Each episode is packed with practical tips and strategies from the experts we delve into negotiation, conflict resolution, and leadership skills that are crucial in both business and in life.

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