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Patience. Thanks for joining us today.
Thanks for having me, Kwame.
I'm glad to be here.
Yeah, it is our pleasure.
So how would you get us started by telling us a little bit about yourself and what you do?
So I call myself the visionary introverted woman and I say that introversion gives me purpose.
So I am an executive career and leadership coach. And I work with introverted women to help them leverage their strengths So that they can achieve presence, positioning, and profit, whatever gifts and talents they have in an extroverted world.
I also help organizations to leverage their talent pool in such a way that they're able to effectively develop leaders within their teams and build a profitable and sustainable business.
Ooh, I love this patience.
And so one thing that I realized as you were talking, I hear I see a lot of books focused on how introverts can really unlock their potential, lead, persuade, manage effectively those type of things.
And there seems to be a robust community of leaders in the introvert space that are focused on introverts.
But what's interesting is I don't see the same type of support or focus on extroverts.
And it was like, it perked my attention because you said, I'm helping people to understand how they can, how they can succeed in an introverted, sorry, in an extroverted world.
So when you think about us living in an extroverted world, what does that mean to you?
Let me start by telling a little story.
I have just come from France, from a Maxwell Leadership Conference.
I'm a John Maxwell certified coach. Basically, I asked the question as one of the ambassadors, we had to help people offstage.
And while we were helping people offstage, there were men on my side and they would stretch out their hands to help the ladies get down from the stairs, but then put their hand back when a man was coming downstairs.
So I said to my colleague, the ambassador, I said, why aren't you helping the men?
It's a dangerous step, whoever the person is that is coming, right?
But like, well, I don't have an answer to that.
But later on, I said to him, really, I wanna know who said that it was not okay to help a man and stretch out your hand for a man because I was ready to help everybody.
But it felt odd stretching out my hand for a man because they would look at me and go, what exactly are you doing?
So what I'm trying to say here is, you've heard the song that says it's the man's world and majority rules.
So it's the same thing when it comes to introversion and extroversion.
There's something like 55 % of the population is extroverted, I mean 45 % introverted.
So you find that people create things like open office.
Open office works brilliantly for extroverts, who don't mind external stimulus coming at them like a hoose.
But for the introvert, that's one of our worst nightmares.
You can't control the light, you can't control the sound.
It's all open. You can't control the people around you.
So your thinking can get impacted by having an open plan office.
But that is the norm.
That's what safe cars.
That's what the first thing people think is all about interacting.
Nobody thinks of the other side.
So that's why I'm saying it's an extroverted world.
If you're an introvert in that space, you've got to manage your energy.
You've got to manage your thinking capabilities so that you can cope and survive in that environment.
I love this answer for two main reasons.
The first main reason.
the first reason is I, we need to normalize helping men off stage, because as a public speaker, that is one of my biggest fears.
I'm like, why are these stairs so small and so steep?
If I fall every time patients, every time I'm walking up the stairs and walking down, I'm like, this is the time I'm going to fall this time.
So I like, I like that aspect of it.
But on the other side, I think it's the reason why I asked this question is because I think that people don't realize what kind of world we live in.
There was a really famous public speaker who was doing a commencement speech, a graduation speech. And he said there were these fish swimming in the ocean.
And one fish goes up to another fish and says, how's the water?
And the other fish says, what is water?
Right. It's it's so ubiquitous around the fish that it doesn't even acknowledge its existence.
And when you think about the the the world that we live in, it's designed in many ways by extroverts, for extroverts.
and we don't take the time to question it.
And so for the listeners of the podcast, I think it's important if you identify as an introvert, somebody who's more introverted.
It's important to recognize that you're not abnormal or there's not something wrong with you.
And a lot of times the resistance that you feel is because the world was designed for extroverts versus introverts.
And so we need to develop strategies around that.
And then on the other side, if you identify as an extrovert and you don't recognize that this world was designed for your benefit, It helps you to empathize at a higher level with our introverted colleagues.
So I think that's a really important place for us to start.
Yes, I think so. I think it's very...
It's not trying to say introverts are weak.
It's not trying to say extroverts are strong.
It's not trying to say any of those things.
It's just recognizing this is how the world is, and if you really want to thrive, recognizing the differences, appreciating them, and doing what you can to either be the change or adapt something, then you are able to thrive.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
And I know that one of your big focus is introverted leadership.
And one of the things that you talk about is courageous leadership, which I really, really like.
And the reason I like the word courage versus fearless is because courage acknowledges that you have a fear, and then you overcome it.
Fearlessness is a pathology.
You should be afraid of some things.
There's a reason evolutionarily why we have fear.
It keeps us alive. I don't want to be fearless.
I want to have that fear so I can still understand and like analyze as a situation effectively.
And most of the time, when you think you can't just tell somebody to be fearless, oh, sweet.
Okay, I'll turn off my amygdala.
Thanks for that advice, right?
But being courageous is more realistic.
And so, when you think about courageous leadership, what would you say are the keys?
For me, courageous leadership has basically six foundations that I recognize.
So first and foremost, you are right about the word fearless versus the word courage.
Many of us can be fearless in situations where we have had an experience before.
Over time you don't exhibit any fear because you've done it over time, you've seen people do it, they're safe.
But then in situations where you've never tried something before or you know that deep within you, you don't have the strength to meet up with the challenge that is in front of you.
You shouldn't then take a step back and go, I'm not going to do it.
So courage allows you to move forward. So what, in my view, there are six foundations to look at when it comes to courageous leadership.
And the first one is basically effectively self -regulation, you regulate yourself.
the other is you cast a vision for where you want to go.
Whether or not that looks possible in your current reality.
And then you plan a strategy, how do I get to that space?
And you decide that you're not going to go alone.
It takes courage to go.
I think it takes pride to go alone.
It takes courage to go with others, because the truth about it is, Managing people, directing people is not easy.
It's easier to say I have all the control because everything here is me doing it myself.
Well, leadership is actually about directing people.
So that's the number four is learning to direct others.
The number five is equip and empower others, not just direct them.
So it's one thing to say, come along with me.
It's another thing to say, I leave you to do all these things on your own.
And that will empower you.
And the last one is you build teams around you to help you accomplish more.
Whether you are there or not, you're able to accomplish more because you have people around you.
So for me, I think that these are the key factors that are needed for a courageous leader to be able to lead effectively.
I love this. So let me run through these patients.
Tell me if I got it down, right?
So we have self -regulation, we have casting a vision, creating a strategy, directing others, equipping and directing others with the skills that they need to be successful.
And then number six is building teams around you, right?
This is really interesting because when I was thinking about courageous leadership, I was focusing on the fear that lives within ourselves about stepping up, speaking up and having those tough conversations and doing what needs to be done and maybe overcoming self -limiting beliefs.
And I think all of that is is encapsulated in number one.
And then number two through six.
Those numbers are all about having the courage to lead and trust others as you move forward. Am I am I getting that right?
100 percent. And this whole thing comes out of my own journey.
When I start every year, I start every year with a keyword. And so last year, one of the keywords I had was my main keyword is the word trust. So I start the year with the keyword and I move on to different keywords as I come across the different ways I want to handle my month or my quarter.
but my keyword last year was trust, and it was one, trusting myself, trusting God, and trusting other people.
When I then got to the end of the year, I thought, what's going to be my word for 2020?
And deep down within, intuitively, I was able to understand that I think I've done a lot of trusting God to help me.
Now I have to take leaps and jump out and do those big things.
But then the next thing is two areas of growth was trusting others and trusting myself more with the decisions that I made.
So my word for this year became courage.
And that is how all throughout you recognize that when you lead yourself well, you find the courage to lead others because you have an understanding and an empathy of what they're going through to be able to get or step up to that next level.
this is really good.
This is really good.
And now when we talk about trusting others, this is really important as a leader because if you don't trust your team, then you turn into a micromanager, people don't like that.
How do you get to a place of confidence in your team to trust them enough to lead effectively?
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Like I said, first and foremost, the foundation is learning to trust your own self.
And the second thing is you're able to trust a team that you have equipped.
If you're not equipped people, you won't trust them.
You can't delegate when you have not equipped or you have not understood the potential or the strengths within people, or you've not, you've not nurtured that potential.
And when you not your potential, then you let go, when you're trusting yourself, you are modeling already the courage that is needed.
You are taking action.
And when you're modeling that the people around you are seeing what you're doing and how you're doing it.
And it has to be intentional modeling or mentoring, Whether you are like direct or indirect, has to be intentional.
And that is then how you're able to say, I trust my team, because I've shown them what to do.
They've seen it happen before.
They've seen it modeled.
You've seen it done.
I have equipped them to be able to go ahead and take up this challenge.
I love this. This is really, really helpful.
And now when we think about introverted leaders, What is different for them when it comes to how they experience leadership, being in that role, and then when it comes to how they lead?
Yeah, so one of the things that I know a lot of introverts, working with introverts, being an introvert myself, in the corporate world as well as in the business world, is when people talk about, oh, this person is quiet, so they are not going to be able to talk to people and tell people what to do.
That's because many times people think leadership is about telling people what to do.
And the truth is, that's not what leadership leadership.
Like I said, if you equip people and you then trust them to do things, they are able to take responsibility without you telling them what to do.
They get on with it.
So in terms of introverts, many introverts have said I'm too quiet.
I'm not direct enough, I don't talk to people forcefully, so how do I get people to do things?
So it's to understand this other element of you don't have to push people before they do things and it's to find the courage to actually say I want to serve because some people don't recognize two things about leadership is service and sacrifice.
advice. And I know a lot of interviews are also empaths.
You know, and the very observant, very quiet, you know, the quietness is all about taking in what's happening around you and understanding was whereas the extrovert is very quick to just jump to that next thing.
The introvert is probably taking the time to look at what's happening here.
Why is it And that makes the introvert a very, very important part of your team because the things that you miss, they will see.
And they can take the lead from a place of service.
I will serve in giving you insights that you don't have. If you need to get some clarity, go to patients.
She's the leader there.
So when you see if you, when I introduced myself, I talked about leveraging your strengths.
You step up and say, this are my strengths and I want to leverage them here because I can see the gap in this team.
So that is how I'm going to provide leadership by leveraging my strengths of intuition, of deep thinking, of deep connection that will then help me build a team, you know, things like that.
So I believe that introverts, I used to struggle at work in the corporate world because they said, oh, you don't talk much, you don't, um, but I'm listening in the meetings and whatever I hear, sometimes when I come up with my own observation, it's like, oh, oh, we didn't think about that.
And I'm like, I know you wouldn't because everybody's so that's, that's the key thing is to recognize that you can step up and see a gap and decide to step up, to lead, to direct, to provide some kind of support that will make a difference.
I love this. And really what it's sounding like to me, and patients, you tell me if I'm off on this, it's sounding like one of the keys to leading as an introvert is to acknowledge and recognize your unique strengths because you have unique values that you bring to the conversation.
You have a unique skill set, a unique perspective, and you think differently.
And once you recognize that this is something that you bring to the table, that a lot of other people don't, it helps you to find that courage to say and do what needs to be said and done.
right? Yeah. And also, I think anybody who is saying, I want to promote somebody needs to have the courage to also promote an introvert, that they think this person is quiet, how will they get the work done?
Because many times, it's the loud person that is able to sell themselves, that is able to put themselves out there, that is recognized as, oh, yes, they can take charge, they can take authority, they can do it.
And it's so hard sometimes for the introvert to then come up with, I can do it too, you know, but I will do it differently.
So it's finding that courage to, like you rightfully said, understand what strengths you bring, understand how that strength translates into results, and put yourself forward talking about those results because you recognize that they are needed and there's a gap there and you put yourself forward and deliver.
I can provide one example everywhere I went, I introduced an induction process.
I have sensitivity to people starting out without support, throw them in the deep end and sink or swim.
So I always set up an induction process.
Now looking back then I didn't think about it as oh this is, but I took my own journey and my own struggle when I started, and I introduced an induction process that included mentoring, shadowing, and reviews that would help people who are starting out to really settle in better and stronger, not just faster, but stronger, so that ultimately what you want them to do is to be independent members of the team that can contribute More effectively because they have been inducted properly.
So that's that's somewhere that initially I used to think that's just something I wanted to do to support.
But that, to me, is an area of leadership, an area where I took charge and provided support, recognizing the gap in within the business.
This is great. This is great.
And I know we're coming up on time here, but before we go, especially since we were just talking about the introverted leaders.
You have a program that's coming up, a workshop for leaders who are women, who are introverted, right?
Yes. Can you tell the audience about that?
So what I recognized as part of the courageous journey or being a courageous leader or having courage to be in business or anything is the fact that you need to be growing.
You just don't go through things.
You grow through things and you just don't live your life.
you lead your life.
So basically, I've been talking a lot about growth plans, setting up a growth plan, having an intentional way of looking at your gaps and closing it.
So this workshop is about helping the introverted woman to win.
So I call it five ways to win as an introverted woman, moving from goals to growth.
If you're aspiring to something better, then it's not just your goals.
You need to have growth plans.
So this is what my workshop is about.
I'm running it on the 4th of August, inviting women who want to step up in their careers, step up to that next level in their business to come along and develop at the end of the two hour workshop of growth plan that they can take and implement.
Oh, this is great. Patience.
Thanks for sharing that.
And everybody, there will be links in the description of this episode.
If you want to learn more, links to Patience's website.
and her LinkedIn profile and all that good stuff.
Patience, any last words you want to say before we wrap up?
I really just want to say thank you for having me and to say that our world really needs everyone to recognize that you have a responsibility.
Therefore, you need to step up and be a courageous leader in your own sphere of influence.
Thank you. My pleasure.
Thanks for joining us.
Really appreciate it.
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