Welcome to the Allie on the Run show. I'm your host, Allie Feller, and this is where I talk with people who are doing exciting things on the run and beyond.
From professional athletes and celebrity runners to the everyday amateur and back-of-the-pack runner, we are here to celebrate everyone and anyone who enjoys a life on the run.
So whether you are running towards something big or away from something that's been holding you back, my job is to hold your hand and help us all pick up the pace.
Nikki Hiltz is back this time as a nine time national champion.
Nikki just won their sixth straight US 1500 meter title.
And today we get to hear all about it. We got to hear from Nikki right before the US track and field outdoor national championships.
Now we're getting the full recap. Nikki talks about racing in the first round of the 1500 and about watching their partner Emma Gee achieve her goal of making it to the 3000 meter steeplechase final.
Nikki breaks down the entire 1500 meter final, including the race plan, the drama, the final kick, and the hour-long victory lap.
And then, Nikki has some personal news to share.
Nikki is Nikki Hiltz on Instagram, and doesn't today feel like a great day to go give them some love?
So do that, and please enjoy this conversation with your U.S.
Outdoor National Champion in the 1500 meters, Nikki Hiltz.
All right, Nikki Hiltz, am I correct? Nine-time national champion.
That's got to feel good. The Instagram bio has been updated.
Congratulations. How are you feeling? Thank you so much.
Yeah, I'm feeling great. Yeah, I do feel like I need to explain the nine because people keep saying seven, eight, and I'm like, We need, it's nine guys.
Get it right. It's no kidding. Okay. Explain.
And this was your sixth straight US 1500 meter title.
So break down all the numbers for us. Let's make sure we get this right.
Yeah. So that's a good start. So six, 15 titles, um, that's between indoor and outdoor and then two road miles.
So I won the road mile in 2019 and then I won it again in 2023.
And then, so that's eight. And then the ninth is the three K this indoor season.
Oh, yeah. Don't forget the 3K. Yeah, come on.
What can't you do? So when you look back on this, because nine-time national champion, that's a lot of races to differentiate between, and we know that every race is special and unique in its own way.
When you look back on this one, your 2025 outdoor 1,500-meter title, what do you think you'll remember most from this experience?
Oof. I mean, this one was really special.
Like they're also special, but this one was like, I don't know.
I feel like it was my first like outdoor one in my thirties, you know, like I turned 30 last October and it's just like, I don't know something about me turning 30.
I think I was getting nervous of like, shoot, is my prime behind me?
Is it, you know, like, I think there's a lot of talk about like you do eventually like get too old to do this or whatever um so it's special to be like nope still still in my peak or still on top um that's really special you know it was my first one with Julie Benson as my coach um which was just awesome like um yeah and then I think Emma just ran so well this championship so I always remember like Emma making the steeple final um and that really motivating me to like do well so yeah there's just so many little things that that makes this one really special and um Yeah, they're all my, I can't pick my favorite.
They're all my favorite. Oh, I think I could pick a favorite.
I mean, they're all my favorite too. I mean, when you, the trials last year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, that was just like the field, the race, the way you executed, like, yeah, that one felt really big.
And that was, I mean, that was you making the Olympic team too.
So like stakes were high and. Yeah. But no, there's so much good stuff to talk about.
I loved hearing in your post-race interview, you were talking about some of the stuff that you and Julie talked about before the final and that, yes, you talked about all the tactical things.
And I want to hear about that, but that Julie told you to enjoy it.
Can you share a little bit more about that and about what she said to you?
And then of course, I want to know if you enjoyed it.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, we talked, we nerded out about I really went into this one with like no race plan, right?
I went in with like mantras and things I was going to say to myself.
And I, you know, posted that notes app screenshot yesterday.
But I think like you can't go in with a plan.
You can just go in with like a rough outline of what am I going to do when this happens or if this happens.
So we talked about that for like an hour straight, I think, just because I think we're both just nerds of this sport and can talk about that forever.
And then one last thing she said was like, And also like, remember to enjoy it because like this, this chess match, this unpredictability that you're going to about to go into, cause we knew it was going to be tactical.
Like she's like, that's what you're going to miss.
That's what you're going to miss the most.
Like being on my end. Cause you know, Julie was a professional 1500 runner herself.
So I think that was good advice of like, oh yeah, this is stressful.
This is nerve wracking. This is a team on the line.
This is like, a chance to defend my title, right?
Like all these things, it's like a big, scary thing, but like, it's also fun.
Like, this is so fun. Like, um, thinking on your feet and trying to match moves and, and yeah, like, so I think that was really a nice thing for her to say.
And, um, yeah, I think that just speaks to like how special it is to have a coach who was in the shoes herself.
And, um, you know, now, now coaches. And I, I don't know what I'm going to do when my career is over.
Like I haven't decided yet, but I do think the more time I spend with Julie, the more I'm like, I want to be you.
Like I want to be a coach. Um, so yeah, I think I'm just like learning from her and, um, no, it's, it, it was like, yeah, just a really special moment.
You and I have talked a lot about some of the people in the sport and especially in the 15 that you've looked up to.
We've talked a lot about Jenny Simpson and about the impact that she's had on you and who you want to be, which I love so much.
I'm also a Jenny Simpson super fan. So now as we're just talking numbers, nine national titles, do you see yourself with the Jenny Simpsons of the world?
Like I know how I see you, but are you starting to see yourself as a Jenny Simpson of the sport?
Yeah. You know, I think someone someone tweeted like there's only been a handful of people that have won like three in a row, you know, outdoor titles.
And I'm one of those. And but Jenny's on four in a row.
So it's like if I do one more than I'm like, OK, OK, perfect.
All right. So let's go back. I want to do a full recap of the weekend of your time in Eugene.
We were so fortunate to get to hear from you when you had arrived in town.
One thing that we didn't touch on when we recorded, we spoke about it offline.
But if we go even further back, when all of the entries were starting to come out and we saw who was in what event, at one point there was Nikki Hiltz in the 5K.
Can you explain why did we see your name there?
I mean, the brutal response of not accepted.
Uh, but can you tell us, were you at any point planning to run the 5,000?
Yeah, definitely. I, I knew it was a really big, uh, I probably, I knew that I probably wasn't going to get in.
Um, But it's not the craziest thing that's happened.
There's been years before where, I think in 2022, when Ellie St.
Pierre ran the 5K at USA, she didn't have a time.
She had a time, but it just wasn't within the window.
And they just added her as a 25th. So we're like, okay, maybe we could do that.
And the fact that I won the indoor 3K, you know, World Athletics, when they do the ranking system, recognizes the 3K and the 5K as the same event.
So we thought maybe that there was like a rule B thing 0.265 whatever the hell the rule is i don't know that sounded really good yeah i just made that up that you could petition to get in and then there was like you know in 2023 when a thing mo raced like she she ran the 15 and she entered with no time and they just added her as a 31st or 37 whatever it was um my biggest thing was i did never wanted to like displace someone i never wanted to um because that's not fair like i didn't run a time why should i take someone who did run a time and earn the spot so I always thought that if they were going to add me, they were just going to add me to the field, not take away from someone.
But I also knew it was a fat chance, but it was like, why not?
So yeah, I got denied, which is fine. But yeah, if I got accepted, I would have been in that 5K and I think I would have done...
I don't know. I haven't ran a 5K, so actually I have no idea.
But it looked like a fun one to be in, that last K. You know, they essentially saved it to a K to go.
So that was a really fun race to watch and would have been cool to be in it.
But yeah, no, at one point I was entered and then quickly denied.
Yeah, not accepted and just so brutal. It's like they put your college acceptances out for the world to see.
So let's talk about the first round. It looked like you kind of cruised through.
How did that actually, actually, before we talk about the first round, while you were waiting to compete, let's talk about what Emma Gee went and did.
And I want to hear from your perspective, where were you watching and what was it like watching Emma compete in the first round of the steeple?
Yeah, so she was heat two and I was heat one, which was kind of unfortunate because like she was an hour before me.
So I couldn't be in the stadium because I was like, I need to warm up as soon as like Emma finishes.
So I actually watched in the athlete like warm up area.
And it was cute. I watched with Juliet Whitaker.
And then Heather and Helen. And yeah, we just all sat there on a couch in front of this TV right before we all went and warmed up.
And, you know, I'd obviously watched T1.
I knew what the times were to try to make the final.
I knew she was gonna have to PR to do it, but she just looked great.
And so it was top, there was like a group of seven that broke away and Emma was in it.
And I was trying to do the math of like, okay, like what time, you know, like, Um, anyway, she just, it was sick.
Like I've been with them on this whole journey and this is her third nationals, um, in a row and she's missed out on the final in the finals. you know, the previous two.
And so, um, it's just such a goal she's worked.
She's had for three years, you know, and to just see her do it, like I was getting emotional, like watching and, um, she just looked awesome.
And you could tell, I was like, she feels good.
You can tell she feels good. Like she was kind of like her well within her stride.
Um, and then, yeah, that, that heat was like stacked.
It was, it was the best steeple there's, Yeah, in heat too.
And so I think she was just like, all right, follow Courtney Wayman, follow, you know, all these people that and yeah, she just did it.
And it was awesome to see. Julie was so proud.
And I was so proud. And it was just like the best possible thing to watch your partner. do something epic.
I knew she was going to be so happy right before you go up, warm up for like your race.
So it was really special. And yeah, she did it.
She, she be heard by seven seconds too. She ran nine 33.
So it's awesome. In many ways, she was the talk of that heat.
Like afterward, a lot of people were talking about Emma Gee and yeah, that huge PR and making it to the final was so exciting.
Did the two of you see each other in person before you lined up?
You did. Yeah. So I went, I jogged for like two miles, came back to the warmup area to do my like strides and more drills and stuff.
And I saw her right when I got back and she was so happy and I, yeah, I'm just so happy for her.
And Emma does an amazing job of like telling her story online.
And I think, you know, like I, it was, it's cool to see how many people are like cheering her on and, and caring about her making the final.
Cause like, yeah, she's like, this is my goal, puts it out there and then works hard and shares every part of the journey.
And no, I was just really happy for her.
And it's, um, yeah, it was epic. All right.
So you get that energy going into your first round.
Let's break it down. How are you feeling?
What do you remember? Like I said, it looked like you kind of cruise through the first round, but did it feel that way?
Yeah, I was nervous. You know, everyone gets nervous.
And I was happy to be heat one. And I think for me, what I remember most is like running out into Hayward.
And I think I was just so used to the Olympic trials.
Like the last time I ran out into Hayward Field, it was like the Olympic trials final and it was like a full stadium.
And and, you know, so I so I explode out of the tunnel and I'm like, oh, there's like two people here.
And I think in, like, a way it, like, calmed me down of, like, yeah, this isn't the trials final.
This is round one of the 2025, like, you know.
U.S. Outdoor National Championships, yeah.
It set the tone for, like, be so for real.
Like, you just have to check this box. So, in a way, I think that calmed me down.
Like, I really do feed off the crowd and energy.
And, you know, I was like, oh, okay, this is, yeah, just check the box.
And, yeah, the plan with that, I don't think I have a race plan for that one either.
It was just, like, go in. vibe and then do as little work as possible and then the last three actually my instructions were you can blast the last 150 and I got a little excited and I think there was just kind of some shoving going on I was like I'm just gonna blast the last 300 like I feel good and and I don't want to deal with like a fall or pushing and shoving anymore so um yeah it was good I like, I think you should put on a t-shirt, go in, vibe, do as little work as possible.
That's a good mantra. Like that's what I did on this Tuesday in New Hampshire.
I mean. Just go in, vibe. Yeah. Did you watch the other two heats?
Yeah. Yeah. I watched the end of, end of both.
Yeah. Yeah. So I watched Helen qualifying heat two and then Heather in heat three and Yeah, no, it's cool to watch your competitors.
Cause I'm like, okay, what's, it was interesting to see Sinclair lead heat too.
I was like, Oh, interesting tactic. Um, so yeah, you kind of keep eyes on people of like, whatever, what's everyone doing.
And, uh, yeah, a lot of people had great closes.
Like I feel, I remember Margo Appleton's clothes was, and Taryn Rawlings in my heat.
I was like, okay, like if this is, if this is a slow race pace in the final, like, anyone's in it.
And, and though I don't want to be anywhere near those people when in the last hundred.
So, um, no, you learn a lot and I, I definitely love watching races back and seeing, yeah, just seeing what my competitors do so I can, yeah, try to figure out the puzzle of the final.
It's fun hearing you say that about your competitors because they're all saying that about you.
Everyone's like, we know what Nikki's going to do in the last 150 meters.
Like, you know, Sinclair even said that in her post-race interview of like what her tactics were and what she was doing.
And she said, she was like, I mean, Nikki's going to be there in the last 150.
How did you spend the next day? You and Emma both had the day off on, that would have been Friday.
So how'd you spend the day? I feel like that day always goes by faster than you think.
You know, you're like, oh, day off. But no, we just chilled.
We got breakfast. We were staying really close to one of my favorite bakeries in Eugene.
It's called Hideaway Bakery. So we walked there from our Airbnb and then we went to South Eugene High for a little practice, went for a run, did some strides with Helen and Heather.
And then what did we do? Yeah, then we went back. we just watched track, but from our Airbnb, we didn't go to the stadium or anything.
Um, and then we went to a lovely dinner with, um, yeah, with some people and, and then, but yeah, and then all of a sudden I was like, shoot, that they went by way too fast.
Now it's time for the final. Um, I skipped right over, but I do think we should explain it for the people at home is after you won your heat in the first round, um, cameras right on your face.
And obviously this is a podcast that people can't see, but you did this little like pinching motion and me 40 year old that I am.
I was like, I wonder what that means. Why did you type into Google?
I didn't because I'm 40. And so I've also forgot that I wanted to do that.
Um, no. And I knew we were talking and I was like, well, I'm going to have to ask about that.
So explain to us the gesture and what it means to your understanding. um so i watched love island earlier this summer and they always did it um and i had to ask my gen z partner emma what that means as well so you were like i like this i'm inspired by it what does it mean yeah um and apparently it means like clock it like um if someone's like i don't know i think popping off about something or maybe even saying something like a little sassy or controversial you're like you do the motion then you go like clock or like I think it means like clock it like kind of like if you were to give someone snaps like go off like so I don't know if I used it correctly by winning a race and then doing it but people people online liked it so I was like okay I did it right So you did hear from people, it got a reaction.
Oh yeah. Like my friend, Maddie Borman, she's like so cool.
Um, and I do everything to impress Maddie.
No, but she was like, she put it on her story and I was like, okay, that means it.
Oh my gosh. You did it. It means it hit.
Yeah. You nailed it. Okay. Good job. And, and thank you for the explanation.
All right. So Saturday was the day of your final, um, how are you feeling?
Do you remember waking up starting the day?
What was the routine? What was the energy?
Yeah. So the final was kind of early. It was like two Oh three.
Um, whereas the prelim was like six something.
So, um, I feel like I, I had to set my alarm.
Like I set my alarm at eight cause I wanted to be running at like eight Oh three.
Um, cause I do my shakeout six hours before.
No. So yeah, I set my alarm for eight and then we started our run at like eight 15 and, um, It was good, but I kind of liked that there was just like, get up and go and, and start your process.
So, um, not a lot of time to like, you know, sit and think about the race or let it get into your head.
It was more just pretty go, go, go. Um, but I hadn't talked to Julia about like a race plan or anything.
Um, cause we like to do it the day of. Um, so she, we went on our shakeout, then went to hideaway bakery.
Then, uh, Julie came over, um, and that's when we talked for like an hour.
Um, and then it was pretty much time to like get ready and head to the track.
Um, and so we went to the track at, and Emma's race this time was after mine.
So I went to the track first and then like an hour later, Emery got there and then, um, yeah, it was time to warm up and, and go.
What do you get at the bakery? What's your order?
Um, I just get like eggs. And that day, I just got like eggs and toast and bacon and potatoes, like a very basic breakfast.
And you're just kind of forcing food. Yeah, I was really nervous, honestly, like, before the race, I think just, you know, I knew it was going to be like tactical.
So I think there was some nerves of like, anything can happen.
There's nerves of always when it's bunched up, like a fall or things like that happening.
So your mind kind of does go to like, Oh, my God, what's the worst thing that can happen?
And like, So you just try to like sit with it and be like, OK, but you just trust yourself and know that you're going to like do your best.
And that's yeah. So I think like I was actually pretty nervous.
So I remember like forcing down food that morning and then same with like my peanut butter toast.
I was like, I don't want to be eating something right now, but I have to.
Yeah, it's just scary. So when you and Julie are having that conversation about, you know, the hour of how things might play out, I love that you're both, like you said, just nerds and fans of the sport.
Is it, are you, do you feel like you're listening to her saying it might do this?
And so you might want to do that or how collaborative?
It sounds like you have a very collaborative relationship with her.
The pre-race talk, how much are you the student and how much are you just having a conversation?
Um, yeah, it's very much just like 50, 50, I'd say like, um, she's, she always starts it by like, what do you think?
Like, what do you think? And I think that's really good of like, it's not a coach coming in telling you what to do or, or, you know, it's like, what are you thinking?
And then I say what I think. And, and then I kind of view coaches, I was like, you know, when you're bowling and there's, um, bumpers.
Oh yeah. Yeah. it's like, if you didn't have a coach, you'd be like bowling without the bumpers.
You're like, you know, but they, they kind of like it.
So, cause it is you on the track. It's you doing all the workouts.
It's you, you know, it's in your mind what you have to think.
Um, and then if you kind of veer off path of like, if I were to start talking about like, I'm going to go take the lead and I'm going to blah, blah, blah.
And then Julie, Oh, let's bump you back.
Like, let's see. Yeah. Like, I don't know.
So I think it's very like much, um, a collaborative thing of I'll say my piece and then she'll kind of hear a lot of times she'll be like, yeah, I think that's great.
Like, and then like little reminders of like, like I'll, I kind of say things like I want to stay outside a lot of the race.
I don't really want to be on the rail. Like, you know, like I'll say something like that and she'll remind me later on of like, and you know what, if you find yourself on the rail, that's okay too.
Like, And I think that's really good because I did in that race.
My plan was to stay wide. I was very much on the rail.
Right on the rail. Right there. I was like, you know, and I think it's good to have a coach.
You know, she's like, I think reminds me to don't be so like finite or like this is how it's going to go.
Like be very fluid because it could go this way or this way or this way.
And I think that's just it's just so nice to talk to someone.
And like and I'm like, oh, you're right.
Yeah. Like, you know, so things like that, I would say is kind of how the conversation goes.
I have to imagine that helps when then you find yourself right on the rail.
Does that? Yeah, this is fine. Yeah. I mean, did you have that inner monologue when you were in that position that you didn't want to be in?
Were you recalling your conversation with Julie?
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think also another, Julie talks a lot about like being an actor, like Nothing bothers you, you know, so I remember when she was here a couple months ago, it was like the windiest day possible in Flagstaff and it was just like annoying as hell like you know 1-200 the wind was at your back and then the next 200 it's like.
50 mile an hour gusts in your face. And that's when she really like instilled in us.
She's like, be an actor. It doesn't bother me.
Like, this is fine. Right. Because as soon as you like, as soon as something starts bothering you, then you tense up and you're like, get angry.
And then you like your breathing gets like, you know, more panicky.
Um, so I feel like I've been practicing that for the past few months.
And so there was another point in the race where I, I kind of got like hit from behind and stumbled a bit.
And I remember like rolling my eyes, like being so mad.
And then I thought of like, Oh, be an actor.
Doesn't bother me. It's fine. This is fine.
You know? So I think, yeah, there definitely is moments in races where you think of, of conversations with your coach.
And, um, yeah, I think that's what makes a great coach is, is when you can instill something like that really then comes up.
You instill it in practice so much that when it comes up in a race, you practice it and you're like, oh, I know what to do.
Don't be bothered. Okay. I don't ever want you to stop competing, but shit, you'll make a good coach someday when you're ready.
Kids are going to be lucky. You were all the way on the And you like that.
Look at your smile. You're like, yes, that's the spot.
So as a fan who's never run this event, I'm thinking you want to be on the inside.
But can you explain to us why you were happy with your lane assignment? yeah the past so the past two years I've been hip one um which it's fine it's actually good if it's a fast race like I think at the trials being hip one was really good because I I just you your goal is just okay I want to be the first off the line um and especially when you have Ellie St.
Pierre in the race who's you know is going to get in front of you uh but in a race like Saturdays, I knew it was going to be tactical.
And what I didn't want to have happen was I didn't want to find myself in the lead.
And that's very up to you if you find yourself in the lead.
But it's a little tricky to avoid it if you're lane one.
You can do what Jakob does and essentially walk off the start line.
Like the gun goes off and he doesn't react.
And so I think I did that in my prelim actually because I was hit three.
And I just knew people were going to be gauging off of me.
So I'm like, I don't want to lead. So you can do little things like that, but I'm not super comfortable with that tactic yet.
So I just know if you're hip, I just knew if I was 12, I could slide right into second or right into third, right where I needed to be.
And so it was like, yeah, it was like a little Christmas gift to get hip 12.
This episode of the Allie on the Run show is brought to you by Shox.
Shox makes my absolute favorite headphones, and if you know me, which again, you do, you know these are the only headphones I wear on the walk and the run, and that's been the case since 2017.
Shox and I go way, way back. Now, unless I am with people, which is pretty rare, I will not walk or run without my Shox Open Run Pro headphones.
I'm not doing it. These are the headphones that rest on top of your ears, not inside them, and then they wrap around the back of your neck.
I will tell you, I do not feel or even notice these headphones once I put them on.
The number of times I've finished a walk or run and gone about my day with my headphones still on because I didn't realize they were there, it happens all the time.
Shox headphones are known for using bone conduction technology, which means that the music, the podcast, the audio books, the meditation, whatever you're doing, the sound isn't being blasted directly into your ears.
It's gentler in so many ways. Mostly, in addition to being comfortable, Shox are your best bet as an active person because you absolutely should not be wearing anything noise canceling or in your ears when you're on the go.
You need to be able to hear your surroundings and Shox products let you do just that.
They have a bunch of different models, so go check them out.
Listen, I've been yapping about these headphones for a lifetime.
Don't you think it's time to see whether they're worth the hype?
And spoiler, they are. Go to Shox.com. That's S-H-O-K-Z.com and use code Allie, A-L-L-I, and you're going to get $10 off your next Shox headphone purchase.
Again, I love the open run pro model. Been wearing it for years.
That's Shox.com with code Allie for $10 off.
So you have said that the race played out pretty much how you expected it to.
So let's break this down. Let's go one lap at a time.
What do you remember from lap one? Uh, I remember running a really good first hundred that I was really proud of.
Um, and I got right, um, right in the spot I needed to.
Um, and I wanted, like I said, I wanted to stay wide most of the race cause I knew like moves are going to be made.
I think a lot of people that don't understand, um, track or maybe one time heard someone say this so they've clung to it think that like running less distance is better but in a 1500 when it's going to be tactical like i don't care if i'm laying for the whole time like it's about positioning and so um i didn't care if i ran the whole thing in lane two or three like i just wanted to be wide to be there um like to match the moves when they're happening um and so Yeah, so I remember getting into a good spot.
And then I remember we hit the brakes. And I was like, here we go.
We're gonna jog. And then I remember actually hearing, I didn't look at the clock, but I heard this stadium announcer say 69.
Because I think when you're going that slow. you're, you're more aware of your surroundings.
Whereas like at pre, when we went out, I think I went out on like 62 or something.
You're it's so tunnel focused. And I didn't hear the crowd at all.
Cause you're like red lining almost. So, but I think when you're going 69 is very different than 62.
So I was like very aware of my surroundings for better or worse.
So yeah, that was lap one. And then I was like, All right, lap two, here we go.
And I say, I like to say different things to myself each lap.
Um, so I remember after I heard 69, it was like, oh, okay, now lap two, like say where you're going to save yourself.
And lap two for me, I always say float. Um, so it just reminds me to like, stay calm and just like focus on my form and like be making it as easy as possible, making it look as easy as possible, even if I don't feel good, you know, things like that.
So I just kind of start repeating to myself, like float, float, float, float.
Um, So then I floated for a whole lap. I do remember actually before the float lap is up, I do remember coming up on 800 to go.
There was some talking going on behind me.
Like I heard someone's voice and I didn't know who it was, but I heard them say, quit it.
And I was like, oh, the girls are fighting.
Someone is fighting behind me. I don't know what's happening.
And that's not the first time I've been in a race where I've audibly heard someone be like, knock it off, stop.
It gets physical. And there was some bumping happening.
So I was like, okay, we need to string this out soon or else that's just going to keep happening.
And so then, sure enough, the whole... But I think the whole third lap was pretty chill.
I think you're just... you're just waiting for the move.
Um, I think with three with, so then you come up and it's two laps to go.
And now you kind of, your brain switches on.
I think for me, the first half of the race, I try to be as low emotion as possible.
And then the second half of the race, it's like, okay, now start matching moves.
Now we got to wake up and, you know, um, so I remember and just to kind of, I was up in a good spot, you know, I was kind of out of trouble.
I was up in third or second and I'm like, just stay here, just stay here the rest of the race.
Even if someone tries to pass you like, okay, surge ahead.
Cause like, this is, this is going to get dangerous.
Like I kind of knew that like there was going to be, cause there already was pushing and shoving.
Um, so then the whole third lap, I just like that the word for myself, that lap was follow, um, So just follow, follow, follow, no matter what.
If someone goes really hard on the backstretch, follow.
If if we stay patient, just follow. And I think somehow on that third lap, I got myself boxed in, which was fun.
It's fun. No big deal. Yeah. And I just knew I just so then it was like a game of patience, like.
Um, and I, I just knew if I was patient, it was going to open up at some point.
Like, don't, I wasn't going to make some crazy move to get wide to like, because I was panicked that I was on the rail.
I was just like, stay patient, stay patient.
And then coming up to the bell, the bell rings and you hear the bell and it's like.
I can't even explain that the amount of adrenaline that jolts through your body when you hear that bell, but it's like my favorite feeling in the world.
Um, so bell rang and I was like, here we go.
And then pretty immediately I hear the crowd go, Ooh, you know, and I feel like a thud behind me.
And I was like, shit, like, okay. Like someone just went down.
I don't know who it is, but I have clear track in front of me.
So like, just like keep focusing on the race.
Like, um, and then, 300 to go, I remember Sinclair makes a big move, and I cover it.
And then 200 to go, I kind of get right on her shoulder.
And then with 150 to go, she's moving, and she's making each 100 faster and faster, which was a phenomenal tactic on her end.
And then with 150 to go, I just had another gear.
And I was like, all right, save it for the home stretch.
Punched it the last 100. And then... yeah, you don't, I didn't, Hayward got really loud.
So I didn't know like how close or far anyone was.
So you're just like punching it all the way to the line.
And, um, yeah, I just saw the tape and I was like, all right, I did it.
Punch the tape down and then celebrated.
Um, yeah. You said you knew you had another gear.
Did you know that the whole time? I think it was just how, yeah, I think that was, that was another point.
I think Julie, um, you know, reminded me of like, say the gear, like, don't go so hard on the backstretch to try to be in the lead that you like, you know, are dead on the home stretch.
And I think you saw that in a couple other races, like on the men's 15, um, right.
People, there's a, there's a, there's a fine line of like going too hard and staying within yourself.
So I remember going hard on the backstretch, but not, I was like, this isn't my all out.
And so, um, and I think that just comes with experience and knowing your body and your own gears and what you have left.
And, um, No. So I, yeah, I knew, I knew to save one for the last hundred.
Cause yeah, I've done this enough times.
Like you, you have to. Yeah. That's what's so fun watching you too, is like, and someone commented on your Instagram was like, or on YouTube somewhere and was like in Nikki Hiltz, we trust.
And I was like, yes, that's so true. You also, as you're describing, as you were going through lap by lap, you skipped over that.
You got tripped up. Yeah. And I believe that was lap one, right?
That was pretty early in that you got tripped.
And of course I at home gasped and start to panic.
Did that rattle you at all? Yeah. So it's like, I was saying like, it was a shove from behind or just a little, you know, and I kind of lost balance and I, I definitely like rolled my eyes.
Like I was, the emotion I felt was like anger.
I was like, who is touching me right now?
Like, um, And then I quickly was like, okay, remember what Julie said, be an actor.
Like this doesn't, this doesn't bother me.
Like I'm fine. Um, but yeah, no, that was a, that was a weird moment, but you know, in a 15 like that, it's going to get pretty physical and tactical.
And, um, yeah, I think, I think that also just like the college kids, like they're just not used to like, yeah, I don't know, maybe like being in a pack or, um, yeah, giving people their space, whatever it is.
So, um, and I knew there was some, definitely some college kids in this race or just brand new pros, things like that.
So, um, yeah, but it was really unfortunate for Helen.
Um, and I, you know, someone I train with to go down like that and it just breaks my heart.
Cause like, all you want is a fair chance.
Like if you do your best and you run a race, you're proud of, and you end up fifth or fourth or sixth, like I think you can live with that.
It's easier to walk away being like, okay, I did my best.
That's all I could do. But to fall and to fall right when the bell is ringing, right when you're about to, you know, you're getting excited and all the moves are about to be made, like, it's just heartbreaking.
And Helen is someone that, like, she's always in it.
She's always there. And, like, this could have been her moment.
And you don't, you know, we'll never know.
And so I just really feel for her. It reminded me a lot of, like, you know, the 800s. last year at the trials, you just, you just, it's just like, like a thing Mo just went down, like, you know, like, sorry, I don't know if we're allowed to swear.
You honestly, you've been on the show so many times, you make the rules.
Yeah. Whatever you want. But yeah, Helen's okay.
Like we went, you know, she's, I mean, she's sad and hurt and frustrated, but like physically she's fine.
When did you learn that it was her that went down?
Right at the finish. I was looking for her and I couldn't see her.
And I saw Heather right away, gave her a hug and, and I think, I don't even remember, maybe someone said it, but I just didn't see her.
So I was like, okay, it was Helen. Yeah, no, really, really sad.
Also crazy for Julie, you know, to coach me, Helen and Heather, like she joked afterwards.
I mean, she's like, if someone had had like a heart rate monitor on me that last like hundred, like, cause she has all the emotions, right.
She has someone that won like, amazing she's someone that got fourth so heartbreaking like shoot right there and then she had someone that face planted like with a lap to go so I'm like and I think I was like how do you do that like how do you watch everyone like you know um but she was like she's been a college coach for forever she's like oh you get used to in college and you you know who to look at when and yeah so um crazy really really crazy um race what was you had a little stuffed unicorn What's that?
Where'd that come from? Someone just gave it to me on the, on the victory lap.
Yeah. Oh, okay. Let's talk about your victory lap.
You were out there for a while. So what are the rules?
So I imagine you finished the race. You have like two seconds to compose yourself because then you're yapping with Lewis Johnson.
You're doing your interview, which you had a wonderful interview.
Then what happens? Yeah. Then you, then I did an in stadium interview.
So they were like, come to the infield because we need to, you know, you need to talk to Hayward.
And, and then, but they, but the men's 15 was about to go.
So they're like, okay, we'll do it after the men's 15.
I was like, so I watched the men's 15, like on the infield.
Um, and I was just screaming for Hobbs, like the whole time, uh, you know?
Um, so yeah, that was actually fun. I had like kind of the best seats for that race and that race was nuts.
Like that was really cool to watch. Um, and then I did the in stadium announcement or like little interview that's like, five minutes or like wait yeah like two minutes with like dawn um and then Then I was like, okay, time to start my victory lap.
And I knew Emma's race was an hour after mine.
So I was like, I think I can make it. I think I could take an hour to get around Hayward.
So I went really slow, talked to everyone, took a million selfies.
Oh, I love that. So you stopped. So for every single person, as you're jogging around, every single person that wants to talk to you, that wants a hug, that wants a picture, you're stopping.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think, you know, Like that's the people always ask, like, how are you going to celebrate, you know, and like, that's it.
Like I want to sell or like the last hundreds of celebration, right?
Like doing it, being in the moment and like seeing what your last year is and seeing what place that gets you.
Like that's the funnest thing you could ever do.
And then the next funnest thing is like take a victory lap with all the people who cheered you on.
And so that was that's like my celebration.
And so I really try to take it in. And then also I wanted to be on the track for Emma.
So, yeah. Were there any particularly meaningful or memorable interactions, either seeing people that you know or with fans that you didn't previously know?
Yeah, I think my favorite moment was seeing Emily Infeld because I hadn't seen her since her win on Thursday night.
And I saw her and she wasn't even down to try to like, I was signing people stuff like that were right there on the track.
And they look up in the section. She's like at the top and I go, get down here so she like ran down the stairs like gave her a big hug but I was just so happy for her and like yeah I just needed to talk to her about her kick because it was like incredible and like yeah no so that was really fun and then also I saw so I did I was at like probably 150 to go on my victory lap when the steeplers came out and so I ran back to the steeple start to give Emma like a big hug and kiss because we hadn't seen each other um and she was really cute she was like because we yeah she was so happy for me and I was like okay do your thing like I'll be cheering so like I'm like and then I watched and then I went back to like 150 to go so I watched the whole steeple from like I made it probably like 50 meters I made it from like 150 to like 50 to go um just like watching the steeple and kind of being near the water jump too and all that um and yeah it was that was a great race too so um No, and then, yeah.
And then I kind of ran to the finish line right when Emma finished.
And yeah, it was cool to celebrate with her like there and got some cute pics.
And then I was still holding that damn unicorn.
It's in like all my pictures. It's in all your pictures.
That's why I was like, I gotta ask about this unicorn.
It's obviously incredibly meaningful. It's also like very gay.
It's like a rainbow unicorn. That's perfect.
Okay, so eventually you make your way down, you go through the mix zone, you do all of your interviews.
At what point did, I'm assuming you had to do, and we didn't touch on this last time, we kept it nice and light before you competed, but we know that part of this competition was that they were implementing sex testing.
So what do you want to say? Did you have to do it right away?
How was the actual experience and, you know, You have a, an additional platform here.
So I'd love to hear you've shared some very eloquent thoughts on the matter.
So can we get some of that here? Totally.
Yeah. So that, that wasn't until the next day when you do processing.
So I went on Sunday to do my team processing thing and right after the race, I got drug tested.
So that usually happens right after the race, which totally fine.
And you know, um, all that. But then it seemed processing.
It was like this, but you have to check all these boxes of like, get your gear, you know, get, figure out your travel, go visit USADA.
Like you have all these little check. And then when you go to those stations, someone signs it.
And then, so one of the stations that we had to do was sex testing.
And then it was like in big parentheses, like females only.
So you can't get credentialed or like for worlds essentially without, you know, checking all these boxes.
So yeah, it was just like, one of the steps that I had to go through and it was weird.
Um, it was like a, a spit test. Did you ever do one of those for COVID?
Um, I feel like I did at some point. Yeah.
Yeah. I'd never done one before. Blocked that out.
Yeah. You like spit in a tube. Um, And then the you have to spit a lot, which is disgusting.
And then you drop some like it was like some blue dye in it.
You shake it up and then that gets sent to a lab.
And then. Yeah. But basically what it is, it's like S.R.Y. like genetic testing.
And it's to basically like. I think if some, if one little marker comes up on this test, then that means at some point you were growing a Y chromosome and then therefore you would be considered intersex and, and then therefore like banned forever from competing in track and field.
And so it's like, we, it's really weird.
It's like, okay, like I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what's going to happen. Like I'm, pretty positive.
Like I'm not X, Y, right. But I don't know.
And like, um, it's one of those things where I think it just sets the precedent.
If the top is now implementing these sex tests, right.
It then just like, okay, that's the top of our sport, the Olympic committee, the world athletics, like, okay, that's the standard.
That's what you guys have decided. You want to spend your time, energy, money on whatever, like, How does this then trickle down to the other levels of our sport?
What does this mean for a woman competing in the NCAA?
What does it mean for females in youth programs?
And that, I think, really scares me because I think this is a really invasive process.
And sure, what I did was spinning in a tube, invasive.
No, not really. Was it weird? Yeah. But I don't know.
I just don't trust... I just don't trust organizations, I guess.
Like I just, it scares me. Like, I don't know, maybe this is extreme, but like maybe in like a youth program, someone's like, oh, we got to do some weird old man's like, oh, we got to do sex testing because they do it at the Olympics.
Like little girl, pull down your pants. Let me see if you're a girl.
Like, right. Like what the hell are the regulations now?
And this is just a really scary precedent to set.
And I, I hate it. Like, I don't like it.
The biggest thing for me though, is like, this isn't solving a problem that exists. there is not a single trans woman that competes on the global stage, like world athletics.
Like I just, you like, they're banned. Like the Olympic committee has banned them.
Like, so what are we doing? Like, I just feels like another way to like police woman's bodies.
And yeah, I don't, I'm, I'm not a fan. I think, you know, I don't identify as a woman, but I compete in women's sports and yeah, Out of all the problems that face women's sports, trans women aren't one of them, right?
But abusive coaches is a problem. Doping is a big problem.
Lack of equal pay and representation when it comes to men versus women, that's a big problem.
So I just think it would be really cool if World Athletics were to focus their time, energy, money on things like that instead of policing the female category.
I appreciate you sharing that. Knowing that this was new at this meet, was there communication to the athletes about doing this other than like it being on your checklist and being like, Oh, and obviously you're a well-informed athlete.
So you knew about this, but was there any communication directly with the athletes about having to do this?
Yeah, we got an email like Thursday, like right the day the meet started of, Hey, and I think that's when the news broke that we're athletic.
So yeah, we found out with everyone else.
Um, and it was like a long length email from USATF.
And it was just kind of saying like, we, because this is a world athletics policy, our governing body, we have to do this.
Um, you know, and explaining like, I think it made me feel a little bit better because my name isn't attached to my test.
It's like just, it's how they do drug testing.
Like it's just a number. So like my number gets sent to a lab and then that lab does the test.
And then it's like either I pass or fail, whatever.
Um, And I think that made me feel a little bit better because I was like, what if like, I don't know, like, what if I get targeted of like, we want to ban Nicki because like they're this, that and the other and, you know, screw them.
And I don't know. I don't know. I was like, I don't trust that like.
I don't know, like, like weird stuff keeps happening in our world right now.
And like, um, but I think, so that made me feel a little bit better of like, okay, this is truly anonymous.
Um, they're just going to each, they're going to test every number.
And like, if, you know, obviously it'll be then traced back to me if I fail or whatever.
Um, but yeah, it, it was funny. I saw Elise Cranny, um, after my team processing, um, And she was like, I think she deletes social media leading into races.
So she was like, what the hell was that?
She didn't know. So she gets the team processing and is like, sex test?
Sign me up. I think it was kind of shocking for some athletes that aren't chronically online like I am.
Am I doing the gesture right? I don't think I am.
Clock it. Yeah, clock it. You said chronically online and I was like, look at me.
Yeah, that's cute. Thank you. Thank you.
Okay. So anything else from USA's? I think we've, we've done a solid recap of the event.
Yeah. Yeah. I think that was, that was it.
I mean, Sunday was awesome. I went and Oh yeah.
You were there. Yeah. It was sick. Great day of racing.
The woman's eights. Awesome. That men's five K was sick.
Like all of it. I I'm just, at the end of the day, I'm just a really big fan of this sport.
And, um, it was just really cool to watch like a really good track meet.
And, um, Yeah, just see, it's brutal, though.
God, it's so brutal. Like, the highs and lows of making a U.S. team, you know.
Whoever is first is stoked. Whoever is third is stoked.
And then it's, like, the heartbreak of fourth place or fifth place.
And it's just, yeah. Yeah, it's hard to watch, but also incredible to see someone's, like, dream come true and break out performances and things like that.
So a mix of all the emotions, but that Men's 800 was incredible. incredible incredible like the high schooler are you kidding donovan brazier awesome each day of racing just was so exciting and yeah by sunday it was like it was a great meet as someone who races the 15 and in your words it is the most wholesome event what advice do you have what words do you have for noah lyles and kung fu kenny clearly not 1500 meter athletes what was it like being in the stadium for that that was crazy I mean um oof yeah I mean that shove I was like whoa and the whole stadium you know was like whoa you know um I don't know.
I thought they were about to fight like, you know, the way they then know it, like it, it was there where you could feel the tension between them.
Um, and then obviously, you know, they diffused it or whatever.
Um, but I think it's, it's, I don't know.
I feel like it's like now people are, are want to see their next race together.
Like when are they going head to head again?
You know, it does create some, like, I don't know.
Yes. I think it's good for the sport. Like I'm glad no one was hurt and no one didn't go down or, you know, um, things like that.
But like, I think a little rivalry is never bad.
Yeah. I mean, not to downplay the little shove that you got in lap one, but, you know, it doesn't look so bad now.
Yeah, can you imagine if I stopped and was like, you know, fighting the birds?
Or if when you crossed the finish line, you just glared at Sinclair.
I mean, we're not doing that in the 15. We're just not.
No. Yeah. This episode of the Allie on the Run show is brought to you by New Balance.
Hey, how about those national championships, huh?
And how about those New Balance athletes, huh?
Gabby Thomas in that custom hot pink, Sydney McLaughlin-Lavrone in those custom blues, Heather McClain, Emily McKay, Danny Jones, Margo Appleton, and so many more in the New Balance red.
These athletes were looking good and running great.
It was like a parade of New Balance kits and I loved it.
I felt so proud watching because doesn't it kind of feel like we're all on Team New Balance?
Behind the brand, New Balance is made up of exceptional people who just make you feel like family.
Their support of the Alley on the Run show has been unparalleled and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have them in my corner.
Those people making us feel like family?
Well, they're also super smart and they're hard at work making my all-time favorite shoes for running, walking, and tackling my to-do list.
If you know me, which I feel like you do, you know my favorites.
For my daily walks, the just released New Balance Fuel Cell Rebel V5.
When I'm on the run, it's the New Balance Fuel Cell Super Comp Trainer, forever my favorite.
And if I'm racing, which I know it's been a minute, but I'll be back, I am reaching for the SC Elite V5.
Even Emily Sisson's racing in this one. She swore by the pacer for years, but she even couldn't resist. the New Balance SC Elite V5.
Oh, it is fast. It is wonderful. And for lifestyle shoes, I wear them all, but I am a sucker for the 327 and the 574.
There is so much to choose from and New Balance makes shoes in wide widths.
They've got kids shoes that are so cute.
Annie tells people at school that what mommy does for work is that I own New Balance and I'm not going to correct her.
Should I? Go to New Balance dot com slash running to check out all of New Balance's shoes, apparel, accessories and more.
That's New Balance dot com slash running to treat yourself to something great today.
All right. So you are sharing some some big news in Nikki world this week.
Should I just let you take it from here?
Sure. Yeah. So this is it's so funny to record before I've done it.
But yeah, the plan is tomorrow to announce that 11 months ago I had top surgery.
And so, yeah, it's it's really cool because it's it's just been like an 11th month journey.
So I went to the Olympics in August. I flew home.
I got home August 13th. And exactly a month later, um, I drove down to Phoenix and got this surgery that I've been wanting for so long.
Um, so it was, it was a whole journey. Um, and then, yeah, ever since it's been kind of cool.
Like I, I was, I obviously always wanted to share, like I got it, but it was never like a good time.
And I kind of think I just learned a lot from when I came out in 2021. that like, I think I came out a little, a little early.
I don't think I was ready for it. You know, I think I wish I had sat with it myself a little bit longer and then shared with the world.
And so I'm really proud of myself for like, I don't know, just like learning from that and growing.
And, um, you know, each month, like I felt a little bit better and better about myself and my body.
And, um, Yeah. And now, now it's 11th months later and I'm like, okay, I'm ready to share.
And a big part of that too, is waiting until after USA is, um, just cause it's such a big box to check.
And I didn't want, you know, any outside noise to like rattle me or, or get in my head, but I'm at a place now where like, I'm not posting to get validation or to get, hear anyone's opinion because I don't care.
Like I like my chest and like, that's all that matters.
Like I'm sharing because I want to help normalize this thing that so often gets policed or villainized by the public when it comes to like, yeah, gender affirming care that trans people get.
So I'm just ready to take that on and I'm ready to, yeah, just share.
This was a really important step in my journey to feeling more like myself.
And I'm really happy I did it. And yeah, I'm really happy with the results.
When did you feel more like yourself? Was it as soon as you came out of anesthesia or is it now?
Did it take some time? Yeah, I think it was the first time I saw, like I saw myself in the mirror.
Like it was, it was probably the next morning when I went back into the, or I'm sorry, it was like two days later that I went back into my surgeon's office and we, you know, took off the, like the, the bandaging.
And it was like, whoa like my chest is flat like and it was um and then I almost passed out oh no yeah the funny part too uh was that this is so this is a big part of the documentary and so my film crew was there with me the whole time and they were in the room and they were like all right this is gonna be the moment Nikki sees their chest for the first time like it's gonna be like you know such a awesome part of the movie.
And so then I, they, and so like they're filming the doctors there, you know, cuts it open, whatever the bandaging is.
And then I have drains, which is a big part.
You know. You know all about this. And he's like, OK, before you look down, sometimes people get queasy seeing drains coming out of their body.
So just prepare for that. I was like, OK.
And I'm so excited to look down. I'm like, oh, here it is.
Here's the big moment. I look down. See?
And I immediately look back up. MS in my face just went white.
And I was like, I just started perfusely sweating.
Mm-hmm. So it was like this, like it's supposed to be this euphoric moment.
And I was like, I'm going to throw up. It's so much more real though.
Then like, I mean, I get, I get the movie moment that everyone envisioned, but like, there's something deeply relatable about just going white as a sheet, soaked in sweat and someone needs to hold on to me.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, so that, yeah. And everyone's just laughing.
Like, yeah. And I, I obviously was fine like five minutes later and, um, And then, yeah, but it was – I think there was just a lot of, like, humor and joy in it all.
Like, you know, I kept calling it, like, my boob job and, like, you know, like – like, I genuinely loved the whole experience of it because it was just something I'd wanted for so long.
And I was also, like – the timing was just so perfect because I always –
I always wanted it, but I never, when is it a good time to take, you know, a month off from running?
Like never. Like, um, so I had planned it like, okay, after the Olympics is a good time because it's four more years until the next one.
Um, and it's so funny, like now that, you know, the 2025 season is like almost over.
Like, I remember like back then. being like, you know, it's fine if 2025 is not a great year for me.
It's fine if I'm like still coming back from this thing.
And like, you know, I hope I'm still good enough to make the world team.
But like, if not, it's fine. Like, you know, like, so it's just like crazy, like how fast I did bounce back, like after a lot of time off, like I took, I think I took four weeks completely off after surgery which is was a long time for me like I usually only take 10 to 14 days off after a season so I was like shoot like I don't know how this is gonna work but it actually ended up being like the best thing because it was you know the Olympics was so emotional physically and mentally and like just like a draining experience even though it was amazing like I think it's kind of exactly what like my mind and body needed, um, was that time off.
So, um, yeah. And then I just slowly started getting into things.
And in November was like really when I started like baby doing baby workouts again.
And I was like, Oh, I'm fine. And then I had the Hawaii mile like race in December, like on my schedule, but I was like, okay, I'm just going to Hawaii to like have fun.
Like, you know, like, um, just kind of was like very zero expectations for that race and ended up winning the whole thing.
And I was like, Oh, we're back. Like, it's going to be fun.
Yeah. Scrap everything I said about doesn't matter what happens in 2025.
Like let's go. Let's go. Yeah. When you returned to running and obviously returning to running after taking time off is automatically going to feel different because your body's getting back into it.
But yeah, in terms of specific to having this surgery, did it feel different?
Yeah. I mean, so the surgery that I got, um, I had to wear like a compressive bra for, I think, I don't even remember.
It was like eight weeks after surgery for a long time.
Um, so my first couple of runs was like, I was still in a sports bra and, um, So it didn't really feel that different because I was like, but I do remember feeling like this is going to sound weird, but like I feel like my heart is closer to my skin now because like it goes like it's why you remember feeling a different beat. like, in my chest, like, that was kind of weird to get used to, of, like, oh, I feel like my heart's just, like, right here, like, because usually there's, like, breast tissue between, it goes, like, heart, breast tissue, skin, and now, like, the breast tissue's gone, so I just remember that feeling of feeling, like, oh, this is kind of a new, yeah, but, um, I don't know, I didn't, yeah, I think it was pretty, pretty similar, I think the biggest, you know, in more like in December when I started running, when I would start going for runs without a sports bra, that was a definitely a different feeling.
Um, yeah. Do you remember the first run that you went on without a sports bra?
Um, yeah, I think it was sometime in December, like, um, yeah, probably right before or after Hawaii.
Um, yeah, I was like, Oh, okay. this is, this is fun.
Yeah. Is it fun? It's probably nice having one less layer.
I mean, it's probably nice in a lot of ways for you, but I'm like, ah, I can just throw a t-shirt on in the morning.
Yeah. It's very, it's really nice. You can have like an Epic, like sale of selling all of your Lululemon sports bras.
Yeah. Yeah. Think about all the people sign them and you could.
True. Yeah. Yeah. That could be great. Okay.
So yeah, over the past 11 months, as we're talking about this surgery, has life changed?
What's different? Yeah. I mean like yes and no, like I just feel just so good in my body.
Like I feel like, so like myself, um, I, you know, before surgery, I would, I would wear a binder almost every day.
And like a binder is just essentially like a really tight sports bra that, that makes your chest like appear flat.
Um, And on the days that I wouldn't wear it, like, I don't know, just any time I caught a glimpse of, like, myself in a reflection, I would just, like, I was like, ugh, that's just, like, not me.
Like, I don't know. Or, like, when I get out of the shower, like, I don't put the towel up here anymore.
Like, I put it, like, around my waist. And, like, that's just something I've done ever since I was, like, a kid, like, you know.
I would always get out of the shower and put the towel like my dad did, not my mom.
Like, I don't know. It just felt like natural.
And then obviously when I went through like puberty and stuff, I was like, Oh, okay.
I can't do that anymore. Um, so yeah, I think it's just like, I don't even know how much it was like, I don't want to say weighing on me, but like distracting me, um, until I didn't like, yeah, until my chest was flatter.
And then I was like, Oh, this is like, this feels right.
Um, So yeah, it's just been awesome. And Emma has just been so supportive and loving.
And she really took care of me that week that we were in Scottsdale.
And I'm excited to share all the content that we have from that time.
There's a video of me like Emma washing my hair in the sink and I'm just like laughing and like have like all those bandages on and and you were so supportive you sent me like.
You know here's a list of all the pillows and like here's like a seatbelt guard to put on the seatbelt and that was just like it meant so much to me to just like have a friend that's like. you know, gone through a similar procedure for very different reasons, but like, it just meant a lot.
I felt like I really did have a lot of support and love and, um, you know, the documentary crew, we became like so close and, and having them, I was getting wheeled out, um, after, and I'm just like, obviously like drunk on anesthesia.
And the first thing, like the camera's right there waiting for me in the parking lot.
And current, the guy that holds the camera, like, I go, hey, bestie.
And you're not so funny because I've been taught like you're not supposed to like interact with the people like behind the camera.
Oh, you're like, how is your day? Hey, Karen.
Oh, I can't wait to see it. I hope that makes the final cut or at least like what as they're rolling the credits, you know, how we get to see some bloopers.
I hope that's in there. Yeah. Yeah. Nikki fresh out of anesthesia.
So now, how do you feel now? I feel good.
Yeah. I mean, it's so funny. Cause I don't, I haven't hit post, right?
Like that that's coming tomorrow. Um, so I don't know how this is going to land, but like, I don't care.
Like, you know, this isn't for anyone else.
Like this is for me, this is, this is gender affirming care.
And this is just one of the steps that I decided to take to make me feel a little bit better about myself.
You know, like it's not that deep and like, It feels really similar to like in 2018 when I cut off all my hair, you know, or in 2021 when I started asking people to use they, them pronouns.
Like, and this is just like, you know, just another step along the journey.
And I'm, I'm just like, I'm really happy.
So I actually don't even care how this lands.
Like if, if every single person is like, ew, this is like, blah, blah, blah.
Like you're ugly. I don't even know. I'm like, I don't care.
Um, and I think there's something to like, come coming off a big win, like nationals, like, I think it's a good time to do it.
Cause I'm like, I feel on top of the world.
Like my confidence is here. Like nothing's gonna bring me down.
And, um, you know, I'm, I'm happy with like the people who support me.
I'm happy with myself. Like, um, I'm, and I'm ready to like share this because like, I'm not really interested in the people who, you know, are going to be haters or, or transphobic or whatever.
I'm interested about the people like in the middle, like the ones who are like, I don't, Oh, I didn't know that that was a thing trans people did.
Um, okay. Nikki did it. Like, that's cool.
Good for them. Or, or maybe no one's ever even heard the word gender affirming care.
They don't know what that means, you know?
And it's just like, Oh, maybe I can educate them on like, yeah, it's just the surgery.
Like sometimes people go through, um, to feel more like themselves and it's like, Oh, okay, cool.
Um, Yeah, and I think a big reason why I wanted to, like, talk to you about it was, like, you – we had the same procedure of, like, double mastectomy, right?
But then I just decided to stop there. And then you were, like – in the same way, like, you also got gender-affirming care.
I got to – I had a choice. Yeah. With mine, the doctor at my first appointment, the plastic surgeon was like, you can go as big as you want.
I was like, relax. We're not – We're not doing that.
I was like, same size perkier. Can we do that?
They were like, you got it. Um, and I had that choice, right?
That's that in itself is, is a huge conversation that I was given a choice.
Isn't it nice to have a choice? Shouldn't we all have a choice?
What to do with our own bodies? Oh my gosh.
It's revolutionary. Crazy, crazy. Well, I am really happy for you.
Um, in a million ways. I, I was listening back to the last episode we did and I was like, okay, I got like a little gushy at the end with like, I love you so much.
I'm so proud of you. So I will try to temper that this time.
But I also, I do want, since you do an amazing job educating people, um, and you seem to have incredible stamina for doing that.
And I give you a But I do just want to point out that everything that you're doing and the choices that you're making and you are still 100% within the laws, the rules from USADA and WADA and all those.
Is there anything that you could add to that?
Like, I'm just trying to point out that all of this is legal and allowed as we're talking about competing and where you should be competing.
Yes. No, I think that's a good point to bring up.
Like, yeah, like under the umbrella of gender affirming care, like, you know, there's top surgery, there's bottom surgery, there's hormone replacement therapy, you know, sometimes shortened to HRT.
And like, that's the one like HRT that I am, if I were to start doing that, then that would then you know, be breaking the rules of my category because HRT for me, if I want to transition to be more, you know, um, masculine would be mean like going on testosterone.
Um, and that's something like, I'm not interested in doing like while I, while I'm competing, because I, I want to see how good I can be in this body.
Um, you know, and so yes, it is not against, any rules to chop off your boobs.
You know, it's not against the rules to get a boob job, right?
Like, and so yeah, I'm still like under, yeah, within the guidelines of being able to compete in the female category.
And yeah, I would imagine like, that's gonna come up.
And it's weird that I even have to say it.
But yeah, I'm not, I'm not transitioning.
Like, I'm not, you know, I did take a step in my transition.
And this is cool, because it's the first the other steps I've taken are very like social.
I forget what they're called, but like, yeah, like I've socially transitioned, right?
Like I've asked people to, my real name's Dominique, but I asked people to call me Nikki, you know, that's a social transition or like my, you know, a lot, my whole life was called she, her.
And I was like, Hey, can we start using they, them?
And people are like, yeah. So like, that's a social transition.
So this is my first, I guess, like medical step in my medical transition and maybe it's my first and last right like I don't know I'm still on this journey um but yeah it still is within the guidelines of of what's allowed and um yeah it's just like it's just like if someone were to get a boob job you know yeah yeah Well, I appreciate you sharing that, especially like you said, for the people in the middle, for the people that might have questions and are genuinely looking to understand something that they haven't spent time trying to understand before.
And I think that's, you know, that's a. a scary and exciting place to have a lot of people.
And, um, I know which way I hope they, they go after hearing this conversation and, and learning more about the world.
So, um, I appreciate all that you share.
You do it in a way that is so incredible.
Sometimes I'm watching your interviews and I'm like, how have they not snapped?
How have you not just been like, Oh, um, But you do a really amazing job.
And as you know, not many people would be able to do a one hour victory lap.
But you are you and you had an hour's worth of people who wanted to see you and let you know how much you've impacted their lives.
And that's a really, really beautiful thing.
So. keep doing exactly what you're doing.
And thank you for coming on here and sharing all that you've shared.
I will be, of course, thinking of you more than usual as you are sharing this publicly and hope that you feel above else, just love and support.
Oh my gosh. Well, thank you. And like, seriously, there was no one, we've been talking about this for a while and when I was going to announce, but you were always going to be the person I was going to sit down and talk to about it with.
You just, you make everyone feel so safe and seen and supported.
And like, no, I'm just so happy that you were willing to have this conversation and just so grateful for the light that you are.
And no, thank you so much for doing it with such grace and care and patience.
And yeah, you're amazing. And I think if you were to do a victory lap around Hayward, it would take you seven hours.
But in order to do a victory lap, I would have to win the race first.
And fortunately, that's simply not going to happen anytime soon.
You can do a victory lap whenever you want.
Okay. I like that idea. Well, you're amazing.
Congratulations times a million. Oh, bring it home by telling us you're going to Europe now.
You're like, Going to do a whole bunch of competing in Europe before racing in Tokyo.
Yeah, off to the races. I'm going to Silesia, which I think is going to be a faster.
Where is that? Poland. Oh, obviously. I might be saying it so wrong.
Sounded really good and confident. And then I'm going to go to Brussels.
And then hopefully I do well. Those are both Diamond League races.
Hopefully I do well enough in both those to get enough points to be in the Diamond League finals. which is in Zurich.
Um, so yeah, I'm, I'm doing three, those three races and then Tokyo.
So I'll be pretty race sharp heading in to the world champs.
Um, I'm actually going straight from Europe to Tokyo.
So when I leave August 12th, you know, when I leave my house in Flagstaff, like it's gonna be a long time before I'm back.
So I'm going to really miss scout, but, uh, yeah, this is the fun part of the season and I'm, I'm excited to, to race and, and hopefully I, I run really fast.
Oh, and I'm excited to have lots of opportunities to watch you race.
So this is going to be fun for everyone.
Yeah, yeah. Yay. Well, safe travels. Have so much fun.
And we will all be cheering for you every step of the way.
Hope you know that. Thanks, Allie. Thank you so much for being here for this episode of the Alley on the Run show with my guest, Nikki Hiltz.
I need to go do the math, but I think Nikki might now officially be the guest who has been on the Alley on the Run show the most times and everything they said at the end there really meant a lot to me.
We had a nice moment after we finished recording.
A nice moment. We had like a nice hour yapping.
But it really means a lot that this show feels like a place that athletes and everyday runners, that people can come here and it feels like a safe place and it feels like a welcoming place.
And that's not just me. That's all of you.
That's you listening. That's you all choosing to be the good.
I think we all know that when Nikki shares this today, that there's going to be a ton of support.
And there are going to be awful people out there who are going to have opinions about Nikki's body, which frankly is insane.
You know where I stand on all the things.
But you are all part of this community and you've all chosen to be the good.
And so when Nikki talks about coming on this show and feeling like it's a safe place, you're part of that.
And I thank you for being part of that. If you're an outlier who maybe doesn't fit into that umbrella, I invite you to join us when you decide to just let other people live their lives and do what's best for them without offering or projecting your own thoughts.
It's a really lovely way to go through life.
And so. I just want Nikki to feel a lot of love today.
And so, uh, go do that. Be the community that you are and show up in the way that you do.
I means the world that you show up for me that way.
And I hope that extends to the guests of the show as well.
So thank you for being here. Thank you for your support.
You can subscribe to the show wherever you're listening to it right now.
If you feel so inclined, leave a rating and review.
I say that with a little laugh. If you want to leave a nice one, those are fun.
Do whatever feels good to you. Be the good, as I keep saying.
My newsletter is allyontherun.substack.com.
You can sign up for a free or a paid subscription.
You get the same thing. Paid is just if you're like, hey, I'm loving Allie's work.
I want to throw a couple bucks away every month.
Then you can do that. And I would love that.
That's so appreciated. So thanks for being here.
Big, big thanks to our supporters for this episode, including New Balance and Shox, two brands. that I have loved forever since long before they came here on the show.
So check them out. Use the codes. Those are in the show notes for this episode.
Anything else? Oh, my gosh. I almost forgot to tell you.
You've got this. You're doing great. And thank you for joining me on the run.
