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Hello, welcome to or welcome back to Trend to Care.
If you're new here, my name's Ashley, and today I just want to do a really relaxing episode, because I actually leave for New York Fashion Week tomorrow.
Future me here.
I'm currently editing this episode and I'm actually not going to New York Fashion Week.
Something happened and I'm not going anymore.
Okay, anyways, let's go back to the episode.
Okay, bye.
But... i get so anxious before i leave for trips and when i'm away from home i just hate being away from home especially when i'm traveling alone i've always gotten so homesick i was always the kid at the sleepovers wouldn't stay the night i'd call my parents in the middle of the night and be like mom can you come pick me up and she dead ass would every single time i think it also just doesn't help that i have a really hard time sleeping and i've always had a hard time sleeping i experience insomnia i experience night terrors i have sleep paralysis And I'm just also a very anxious person.
So like many, I can't sleep and I struggle with negative thoughts before bed.
It's definitely worse when I'm stressed out or I'm going through a hard time.
That's when I struggle with sleep the most.
But when I am experiencing difficulty sleeping and I'm just getting shit sleep, I truly dread going to bed.
Going to sleep should be this relaxing experience, something that you look forward to after a long day.
But...
When you have a hard time sleeping, going to bed isn't enjoyable.
Not to be dramatic, but it almost feels like this impending doom, because you know that you're going to be laying there for hours restless, tossing and turning and not being able to turn your brain off.
It used to be so bad for me when I would have to go to work in the morning and be up at a specific time, Because the anxiety of knowing that I wasn't going to get enough sleep and I was going to be tired made me more anxious and made me not be able to fall asleep.
So I'd be tossing and turning till 4am, literally just laying there with my eyes closed but wide awake.
And I still struggle with that, especially on days where I have something important or I have to be up early the next day.
But I have been working really hard lately on making a nighttime routine that calms me down, gets me ready for bed and is actually enjoyable and something that I look forward to.
I don't want to dread going to bed.
I don't want to be anxious about going to bed.
So this is going to be a nighttime routine for any of you who struggle with anxiety or you're just having a really hard time sleeping.
You have bad sleep habits.
And yeah.
So I'm going to give you some ideas to help you unwind, give you my tips and tricks to sleep better.
I'm not recording the video of today's episode like I normally do.
If you don't know I usually upload podcast clips to TikTok and Instagram from each episode.
But I was having trouble with my camera and I just don't have the time or the energy to mess with it today.
And I don't feel like this is an episode that really needs video anyways.
But I will be recording like a nighttime routine video for my socials.
So if you're interested in that, I'll link my Instagram and TikTok in the show notes.
But anyways, let's get into today's episode.
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Creating a cozy and relaxing environment is actually really important when it comes to winding down.
Think of it as setting the mood.
For me.
I have a much harder time relaxing if I'm overstimulated by a bunch of things like a messy room or the big bright light on or a very loud TV.
So before I do anything, I set the mood so that way, when I'm ready to get into bed, everything's very chill.
It's just a little prep work.
I like to go to bed in clean bedding and sheets.
I know this isn't possible every single night because I have two dogs and I let them sleep in my bed with me.
So sometimes my bedding isn't super clean and there's dog fur and that's just the life that I live.
That's the life that I've chosen.
That's the price that I pay for wanting to cuddle cute furry animals.
But...
I do like to have relatively clean sheets and cozy bedding and blankets that I'm excited to sleep in, especially seasonal bedding.
It just elevates the experience of sleeping and it's something that I enjoy.
The same thing with my PJs.
And I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm not someone who likes to sleep in anything.
I sleep better when I don't have clothes on because I sweat.
And again, I get overstimulated and I hate the feeling of having clothes on.
But when I'm laying in bed and I'm on my phone and I'm reading a book and I'm just getting ready for the night, I like to have cute PJs on.
Particularly a seasonal PJ set on.
Again, it's just a fun way to romanticize the night and it's something to look forward to.
So I'll pick up my PJs, I'll lay them out, and then I like to go and clean up my space.
I don't do this every night, but I found that if I clean up around the house you know, put the dishes away, pick up my dog's toys, wipe down the counters, pick up any clothes off the floor it's one less thing for me to worry about.
So I'm not laying in bed thinking oh, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and immediately be overstimulated because everything's a mess.
So I do that and after everything's cleaned up, I like to dim the lights.
I'll usually just turn off the lights and light a candle, or I'll put a softer light on, like on my hatch alarm.
And this just helps me relax.
And it also lets my brain know like, okay, it's time to wind down.
It's bedtime.
Then I'll spray my little bedtime spray.
I think it's lavender.
And I'll put on some relaxing music.
And then I'll go and put a wormy in the microwave.
If you don't know what a wormy is, it's basically a heating pad, but a stuffed animal.
So it's filled with like beads, i think, and it's lavender scented.
You throw it in the microwave for 90 seconds, you get it warm, and then i personally like to put it under my blankets in bed, so that way, when i'm ready to get into bed, my spot's warm and it smells good.
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Now this is the part where it's time to actually wind down.
After i put my warming in my bed, i'll go and take a shower, or a bath preferably, but currently we're working on my bathroom and we just tore down all this wallpaper, so it's not very cozy or functional because there's a bunch of wallpaper in my bathtub right now.
But in theory i would love to take a bubble bath at night.
I've heard incredible things about the sleep bath by dr teals.
I haven't tried it yet, but that's going to be a little treat to myself when i can finally take baths in my bathroom.
But it has melatonin and essential oils in it, so it's supposed to support better sleep.
When I shower at night, I like to use the Frenchie Lavender Cloud Body Wash.
That's also supposed to help you unwind and rest.
They also have that same scent in bath bombs but honestly, any body wash or bubble bath that has lavender or essential oils in it is good for you at night, because it'll help you relax.
I really like to use this time, whether it's a shower or a bath, to treat it as a ritual where you wash the day's stress and worries away.
I know this sounds silly, but i'll think of all the things throughout the day that upset me or didn't go well, and then i'll visualize washing them off my body.
I don't know how to explain it better than that, but it's a way that's helped me detach from any of those negative thoughts or negative feelings throughout the day.
Then, once you're out of the shower, you're going to do your skin care, whether it's your body care or your facial care.
I don't really have an extensive skincare routine only because my face is really sensitive, but i'll put on all my lotions, my oils and then my daily moisturizer, and doing this is just going to help you stick to a routine.
But also when you're taking care of yourself and having something like a skincare routine, it helps you focus on things that you can control, and doing your skincare can be really therapeutic.
Something that's also been very helpful for me is lighting a candle and turning the lights off while i'm doing my skincare, because when the lights are dimmer i'm less likely to pick up my skin and nitpick my body.
I don't want to be worrying about my appearance right before i go to bed.
I don't want to think about my body.
I don't want to think about my skin.
I don't want to think about any insecurities i may have.
This is the time to relax my mind and not give it things to worry about, especially things as silly as my body or my face.
Once I do all of that, once I put my PJs on, I'll go back downstairs and I'll make myself a sleepy girl mocktail if I have the ingredients.
For my sleepy girl mocktail.
I usually use the tart cherry juice and then I mix it with a cherry limeade.
But you can use any soda or sparkling water or just regular water.
It's really just to dilute the cherry juice and then I put magnesium in it.
Magnesium is supposed to help you sleep better and sleep longer, and it's also supposed to help with stress, but you need to make sure you're taking the right magnesium.
You want magnesium glycinate.
The other kind of magnesium acts as a laxative, so you gotta be careful about that.
So make sure you get magnesium glycinate.
And then the tart cherry juice has melatonin, which is supposed to help with insomnia, which I desperately need help with.
But I take my time drinking this.
It usually kicks in within a half an hour to an hour after drinking it.
So it still gives me time to do the rest of my wind down routine without feeling like I'm going to pass out, don't have the ingredients or you're just not really in the mood for a mocktail.
Having tea is also a really good drink to have before bed, but tea without caffeine.
If I do have tea, which I don't really that often, I'm not really a tea girl, But if I do I'll have chamomile or lavender.
Then I go upstairs.
I take my mocktail.
I take my tea.
And I finally get into bed.
And it's warm.
It's cozy.
It smells good.
And I'm ready to unwind.
I like to keep my notebooks on my nightstand right next to my bed so I can just reach for it.
So that's what I'll do.
I'll reach for my journals and I'll do a couple of things.
The first thing that I like to do is an anxiety brain dump.
And this is going to help me let go of anything else I'm still holding on to that might still be bothering me.
And it also helps me avoid getting stressed out about what I need to do tomorrow.
So I'll write out whatever it is that's bothering me, how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking about.
And then I'll also write down tomorrow's to-do list.
So I'm not spiraling about what needs to get done or I'm not feeling like I'm missing something.
The next thing I do.
I sometimes do in my mind and I don't write it down, but I do think it is helpful to write it down.
And I also do like having it written down so I can go back to it and look at it and be nostalgic and remember all these good things.
So I'll write down three things I did well today, three things I enjoyed today, and then three things I'm grateful for today.
And this often turns my mood around and it helps me focus on the good rather than the bad.
It's just a really good way to shift my mindset and help me think of more positive things.
Because when you go to bed thinking about all these negative things and you go to bed in a bad mood, you often also wake up in a bad mood and you're more likely to focus on the negative things the rest of the day.
And then of course I also like to say some affirmations.
It really depends on my mood and what I'm struggling with that day, like what affirmations I'm going to say.
But if I just want to focus on better sleep, these are the affirmations I go to.
I am safe and I am secure.
I let go of any worries, anxieties, and negative thoughts.
I forgive myself and I forgive others for any mistakes today.
I am excited to wake up feeling good tomorrow.
I attract happy dreams.
And then I did enough today and now I can relax.
These might sound silly and you might feel silly saying them out loud, But they do help.
And again, it's just a way to shift your mindset and have your focus be on good thoughts rather than the bad ones, which will help you sleep better and also help you wake up in a better mood the next day.
I think it's really important to identify your triggers and know what does and what doesn't feel good.
Unfortunately, I am addicted to my phone.
I am on my phone way more than the average person, I think.
And I try to validate my usage by saying, well, it's my job, but let's be real.
I'm not doing my job when I'm scrolling on my phone before bed.
There's nothing wrong with doing a little doom scroll before bed, especially if the media you're consuming is good for you and you're watching videos that inspire you and that are creative and that they're feel good videos.
But a lot of the time that's not the case and it can be very triggering for me.
The other day I was talking to my friend about how, for the past couple years, I've been having such a harder time sleeping.
Like it's always been a struggle of mine.
But I would say since the end of 2022 it's gotten even worse.
And we were trying to nail down what was the trigger for me, why I have such anxiety around sleep and why I have a hard time sleeping.
And I realized one of the things that was increasing my anxiety around sleep was the Idaho 4 case.
And I don't even want to say that monster's name.
But ever since I learned about what he did and I learned more about the case, I have just been terrified when going to sleep.
I have so many more night terrors and it became this fear of mine like, oh my god, this can happen to anyone.
This might happen to me.
And the thing is, I'm interested in true crime.
You know, I like to watch true crime.
I like to watch body analysis videos regarding these cases.
But it is triggering for me.
And it's triggering when something like idaho four case comes up on my for you page and i'm about to go to bed, because i immediately start thinking about what happened and i get really nervous and i get really scared and that's not something that i should be thinking about right before i go to bed.
Not only are there things like that on social media that i shouldn't be viewing before bed, but social media in general can just be very overstimulating and i have a hard time turning my brain off when I'm consuming so much media before bed.
So I've been trying to swap my phone for things that aren't as stimulating, at least an hour before bed.
So sometimes that will be doing my journaling or reading a book or doing a guided meditation.
Obviously there's nights where this doesn't happen and I do stay on my phone.
But I do still try to stay off apps like TikTok and Instagram.
And I'll really only open Pinterest or I'll do like the Wordle or the Connections.
I don't currently have a TV in my room.
But if I did have one or like in the future when I do...
I do like falling asleep to some kind of noise.
I hate silence, so I'll put on a comforting movie or a show or something that feels good and that's not gonna disrupt my sleep or make me anxious.
But you can also just put on some relaxing music or a bedtime podcast or some type of white noise.
I like to put on the waterfall or the rain on my hatch alarm and fall asleep to that some nights.
And then lastly, I have been trying to avoid having any coffee past 5 pm, which is really hard for me because I love an espresso after dinner.
That, in my opinion, is the best treat ever.
And I've also been trying not to eat a huge meal before bed.
I am a snacker for sure.
I always need a sweet treat or a savory treat, especially if me and Josh are watching a movie.
So that's something that I can't stop doing.
That's something that I'm always gonna reach for before bed.
And I'm never gonna deny myself a snack or treat before bed.
Like if I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat.
But I'm trying not to eat a lot before bed because I've noticed if I do eat a lot it gives me energy and then it makes it harder for me to fall asleep.
So like an hour or two before bed, that's where I draw the line for big meals.
But honestly, I don't really need it if I have a snack and if I have my sleepy girl mocktail.
Like I still have something to look forward to and it kind of curves that craving to have a big meal.
I think it's important that you identify your own triggers.
And I also think it's important that you think about what it is that not only gives you anxiety, but what calms your anxiety and what it is that's going to give you the most comfort to help you fall asleep.
Because it's not a one size fits all.
These tips might help you, but they also might not help you.
We're all different and these are things that work for me and what has been helpful for me, but it might be different for you.
And if it is, I would love to know what it is that you're doing for your nighttime routine that helps you calm down and helps you sleep better.
I truly will take any and all tips because, like I said, I have a hard time sleeping and I'll do anything, like literally anything, to help me knock out and to keep me asleep throughout the entire night.
If you do have any tips, I would love if you shared them with us.
You can share them on Spotify in the comments or you can join the group chat and you can share your routine there.
If you like today's episode, make sure to rate it on Spotify and Apple.
That really helps me out.
And make sure to follow me on my socials if you're not following me already.
But that's everything for this week's episode.
I love you and I will see you next Monday.
Goodbye.
