If you're interested in the story behind the business headlines, check out Big Technology Podcast, my weekly show that features in -depth interviews with CEOs, researchers, and reformers in business and technology.
Hi, I'm Alex Kantrowitz.
I'm a long -time journalist, CNBC contributor, and the host of the show.
I empty my rolodex every Wednesday to bring you awesome episodes, so go check out Big Technology Podcast.
It's available in all podcast apps.
We'd love to have you as listener.
Have you been feeling the effects of stress, burnout, or anxiety at work?
Listen to the Anxious Achiever podcast to rethink the relationship between your career and your mental health.
Get the Anxious Achiever wherever you find your podcasts, and walk away with practical advice you can implement today.
Hey, I'm Kwame Christian, and you are about to step into the world of negotiate anything.
The number one negotiation podcast in the world where we teach you how to make difficult conversations easier while getting more of what you want in the process.
Each episode is packed with practical tips and strategies from the experts.
We delve into negotiation, conflict resolution, and leadership skills that are crucial in both business and in life.
Whether you're closing a deal, managing a team, or navigating personal relationships, negotiate anything provides you with the tools you need to succeed.
Our conversations are real, relatable, and most importantly, rooted in practicality.
So if you're ready to transform your conversations and elevate your negotiation skills, join me on Negotiate Anything.
Subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen.
Let's make every conversation a winning negotiation.
Hey everyone, it's Kwame Christian, host of Negotiate Anything, asking you to please do not skip forward because this is not a commercial, okay?
I've got something for you.
So we want to hear from you, our incredible listeners, because your feedback is super helpful in making the show even better.
We've created a quick and fun form to get to know you, and this is your chance to make the show even closer to what you love.
And here's the best part.
If you fill out the form before December 31, 2024, you'll be entered into a raffle to win a signed copy of my book delivered straight to your door.
It only takes a few minutes, and your input will help to shape the future of Negotiate Anything.
Find the form in the description of this episode and we'll announce the winner in January.
Who knows? It might be you.
Thanks for helping us to make the show even better, and even more connected to you.
Good luck in the raffle.
So Nancy, thanks for joining us today.
Hi, I'm so glad to be here, Kwame.
We're glad to have you.
So how about you just get us started by telling us a little bit about yourself?
Well, I'm a sales growth consultant, and I help companies, more specifically the people within them, become more competent and confident in all of their sales conversations.
That is the most succinct response we've ever had.
Well, I could go on and on, but for your audience, isn't that what they want to know?
I mean, I got the stories I'll tell you, but maybe we'll get into those later.
Oh, for sure. Oh, we will.
This is going to be good.
I'm very excited because this is going to be the first episode where we actually dig deep into a specific skill.
And I know you are the perfect person to talk to about this one.
So how about you tell the audience a bit about this skill that you're going to teach us?
Well, I am going to teach the stop drop and roll technique for responding to objections.
Very nice. So let's get deeper into that.
So what exactly is the stop drop and roll technique and how or when do we use it?
Well, let's start with when we use it.
So in sales conversations, that's really what I focus on.
My book is conversations that sell.
And it is about that human conversation that needs to happen often for people to make a decision or to take an action on something that we need them to do next to move them along the process for buying our product or service, which I call our solution.
So I don't have to keep saying product and service.
We use solution. And along that conversation, no matter how good we are, no matter how effectively we are at collaborating through all the pieces of data gathering and presenting what we can do, typically, there's a concern or objection that might be voiced or might be silent.
And so it's in that moment that that happens, what do we do?
What needs to come out of our mouth to preserve all the hard work up to that point in that sales opportunity?
Because Kwame, you probably have seen this.
A lot of people blow it right at that moment.
That's absolutely true.
A few times, myself included.
Yeah, me too. Because at that moment, we're so invested and maybe we have what we call happy years.
We really think this is going great.
And we're going to get that decision and walk away with that order or buy.
And all of a sudden, now there's a barrier.
And right then, there's the fight or flight reaction that kicks in for us and for that, let's call them the buyer or the prospect.
Because there's an interruption.
It's a disruption to this conversation now because maybe they're afraid to bring up something that they don't know how we're going to react to because people as buyers are pretty conditioned that if I raise this, I'm now going to get a hard sell.
Someone's going to really jump on me and try to talk me out of it or talk me into something.
So they've got this adrenaline flowing and the sales professional, they've got that fight or flight reaction going too because we're wired as humans that when we feel we're in danger, we need to fight or flee.
So we need to bypass that in the moment that we hear that objection.
Because with that adrenaline going, the likelihood of us being able to work through that objection is very low.
And I think that's one of the keys.
This is about working through the objection with another person.
It is not about handling objections.
It is not about overcoming objections because nobody wants to be handled or overcome, in my view.
Now as a lawyer, you might have a different approach to that.
That is funny. But most people don't, right?
Right. Okay. So in that moment, we can train ourselves to use stop, drop and roll.
Now this isn't the stop, drop and roll we learned when we were in, what do you call it?
Grade schoolers. Kindergarten.
Kindergarten, yeah.
Way back when where we're rolling on the floor.
This is mental and verbal rolling.
So the first thing we do is we hear an objection and we have to just stop.
And that is train our brain.
Stop. Stop, pause and listen.
Hear the person out.
Don't interrupt because that's what people do.
They want to interrupt and start giving them more information.
Stop pause and listen.
Then we have to again mentally drop our assumptions, our agenda, our emotions and our ego.
Then we can open our mouths and roll with acknowledge, ask and answer.
So the first words out of our mouth are an acknowledgement, not that we are agreeing, not that we're going to do anything, simply an acknowledgement that I hear you, it's safe and you have permission to, you know, go on.
I'm not going to fight or flee.
So it lessens the reaction on their end because that's not what they're expecting.
We need to acknowledge, you know, that I understand, you know, what you're telling me or here's what I hear and we paraphrase back.
And there's a big difference between paraphrasing and repeating back word for word.
It's been found psychologically when people have something repeated back to them word for word, they start feeling manipulated.
So we need to show that we're understanding with a paraphrase versus a word for word repeat.
So we acknowledge what we're hearing.
Then we segue into asking for more information about what they've just told us because many people it's a stall or it's a easy concern that they first raise and we've got to dig in and find out more about what's coming behind that.
So take, for example, the pricing objection.
If somebody says, well, that's just way more than than we're willing to spend.
You don't know why that's what they're willing to spend.
So too often people will jump into starting to offer price concessions or different terms when they don't even know why that's an objection.
So they're offering concessions prior to knowing that that's what's going to be needed to work through it.
So we have to ask to get more information to understand what that objection really is from that person's viewpoint and very specifically keep them talking, which is opposite, I think, in some people's world of persuasion, where we need to persuade through our words.
We want to persuade through our questions because the more that they can discover and talk themselves through it, the easier it's going to be to work through it to a successful outcome.
So we acknowledge, we ask, then once we have the information from our ask, now we can answer.
And in our answer, we can then give them suggestions.
We can give them hope with ways that we've worked through that with other people.
But that then sets the stage then for moving forward in a collaborative way and often coming up with the right solution together.
So it's that simple in theory.
It's disciplining ourselves to follow that in that first those first moments.
This is really great information.
And I have a lot of questions for you based on this because I want to dig deep into this.
And so early on, you said that sometimes the objections are silence objections.
How do we know when we've experienced the silent objection if they haven't said anything?
So I propose that in our conversation, we need to ask for objections.
We have to have a place and we do it after we've presented our solution that we need to ask for and work through objections, because often people won't raise them.
So we have to give them the opportunity.
Typically around this point, Kwame, this is when people might have some questions about what we've just laid out for you.
So we're not saying what's your objection to this.
We're giving them an opportunity to ask questions, which often then can come out as a concern or an objection.
So we give them that opportunity to.
And then, of course, you have to watch their body language.
When people start becoming disengaged or you can tell that they're not focused or they're fidgeting or they're when you're with more than one person, they're like looking at each other.
That's a great opportunity to say, you know, I'm sensing that you might have a question about what we're discussing.
You know, feel free.
We have to leave that door open and make that door open for them.
This is really interesting.
And I really like this technique because, like you said earlier, it runs counter to what most people think would be the typical sales approach, because you are essentially seeding a little bit of control to the other side in order to give them the feeling of comfort and security and trust to share their
objections or concerns with you.
It differentiates you so much from everybody else that they're probably talking to.
Right, because you're continuing in our whole philosophy and any sales conversation is the more that you make it about them, the more attached they are to the conversation and to the process and the more comfortable they are in making a decision.
Right. Now, for our listeners out there who are not in the classic sales role, where they're giving pitches per se, how can they use that in interpersonal situations at work or even at home?
This applies everywhere.
Now, the one caveat is it doesn't work great with teenagers or toddlers.
But you know, in most situations, you know, when somebody is like, for example, say that you're planning on where you're going for dinner tonight.
Right. And you want to go out for Italian and your wife wants Chinese, but she's not saying, you know, she's just saying, I don't know.
I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for Italian.
I'm not sure. You know, that's when you can say, well, you know, tell me more about what you're hungry for tonight.
And because she's got an objection to Italian and she'll say, well, you know, Italian, we always go to, you know, Tony's and, you know, I just am not I like his chairs.
They're uncomfortable.
And right then you can just say, oh, you know what?
I guess I never thought about Tony's chairs being uncomfortable.
I'm glad that you shared that.
You know, tell me more about the type of atmosphere you know you'd like to go to where I can also get Italian food.
You know, and now you've given her permission to give you more information about where she's coming from.
And then you can go from there.
I like it. I'm really excited about this because now I know how to handle that conversation better when when it comes up.
And I really like the way that you ask that question, too, because you use an open ended statement.
Tell me more about blank.
And I think that's an underutilized way of asking a question because it doesn't end in a question mark.
But asking questions in that way makes people feel more comfortable because it seems less accusatory because Kwame when he's hangry for our international listeners, hangry is hungry plus angry.
When I'm hangry, my questions might come up like, what is wrong with Tony's?
Yeah, you know, which one?
Exactly. Why and why is can come off as kind of aggressive at times, right?
Well, don't you lawyers use that all the time?
We love why. Yes, we love.
So right, so open ended are questions, you know, what, when, how.
But there was those statements, like you said, and actually the publisher and I way back when I was writing the book had this big debate that, you know, help me understand or tell me more about aren't questions or actually requests for information.
So you can't you know, you can't call them a question.
But like you said, there are a statement asking for information.
Exactly. Yeah. And what's interesting, too?
And I think this is what can be a challenge to some people that are new to this is that our goal is to find out why.
But the best way to ask the question that leads us to why doesn't start with why.
Hello, my friends. Before we get back to today's episode, I want to ask you a question.
Have you ever wondered how to elevate your team's negotiation game and how you can help the folks on your team have better difficult conversations?
At the American Negotiation Institute, we offer transformative keynotes and workshops tailored to empower professionals with top tier negotiation and conflict resolution skills.
Whether it's a keynote for your next event or hands on training for your team, we've got you covered.
Don't just negotiate, master the art with the American Negotiation Institute.
Click the link in the description to find out more.
Elevate, negotiate and succeed.
Hey, you. I'm Andrew Seeman.
Do you want a new job or do you want to move forward in your career?
Well, you should listen to my weekly show called Get Hired with Andrew Seeman.
We talk about it all.
And it's waiting for you.
Yes, you, wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Michael Kovner, host of The Next Big Idea Daily.
The show is a masterclass in better living from some of the smartest writers around.
Every morning, Monday through Friday, we'll serve up a quick 10 minute lesson on how to strengthen your relationships, supercharge your creativity, boost your productivity and more.
Follow The Next Big Idea Daily wherever you get your podcasts.
Yeah, it could be, well, what made you think this or, well, not that seems kind of aggressive too, but going the route of the open ended statements or using how how is another way to get around it.
That seems a little bit less aggressive, but the goal is to find why.
But often asking why in that straightforward method could come off as too aggressive.
You know, recently I had a group of salespeople really challenged me on some of like the universal go to's that you can have ready at the ready, you know, in any situation.
And I said, you know, one of the best ones is tell me more about.
You can use that in most situations.
Just tell me more about, you know, what you just said.
Tell me more about the pricing, you know, situation.
Tell me more about how the timing will impact this.
You know, tell me more about those uncomfortable chairs and whatever it is.
It's something, again, that you're really if you're so much of it has to do with your tone and if your approach is really seeking to understand or whether you're trying to gather information to corner them in some way to then sell at them.
There's a big difference in approach.
So this way, I mean, for me, objections, the more we think of them as, hey, if I get someone telling me an objection, it's a huge opportunity.
It's an opportunity to find out where they're really coming from, because once it's out on the table, we can work with that information.
And I'm not going to be chasing this afterward without really knowing where it stands.
It's an opportunity often to uncover additional ways that they might need your help, because depending on who you're selling to in a business to business situation, often the objections are about now what that person might need to do internally to get something through.
And so you might find out about other decision makers that didn't, you know, come out earlier.
You might find out more about the process that they're going to take to make that decision.
You don't know what you can uncover unless you take that approach that I need to learn more.
Because the biggest trap and we do we I listen to recorded sales calls for some clients to give them feedback and, you know, through our training and such in this situation, as much as people say, well, I don't really answer.
I do do this. This is what I do.
I want more information.
And then, you know what?
In real time, they jump right to answer.
A person says something that they're concerned about or that they object to.
And right away, that person tries to set the record straight on why they're wrong or gives that those concessions immediately.
And both of those either, you know, damage your profitability and the viability of that sale going forward or, you know, shuts it down right then.
Exactly. And when you make the mistake of trying to answer without fully understanding the situation, you end up solving problems that might not even exist.
And so to the point you made before, they might just start making monetary concessions when that really isn't the issue, thus hurting their margins.
So let's get into the most fun part of this conversation, the part that I have been waiting for this whole time.
And this is going to be our role play activity.
And so this is the first time ever on the podcast that we're going to do a role playing activity because people would say, hey, Kwame, this information is great.
But what happens if the other side doesn't play nice?
What happens if I run into objections?
Those type of things.
So you gave a really great example using the interpersonal situation of where stop, drop and roll could work successfully.
But maybe we can move into a sales example and I can be the prospect and you could be the salesperson and we'll see how it works if somebody's being a little bit difficult.
I just have to give this caveat.
When I agreed to this, I didn't really think it through that you're a lawyer and that this could be like the most challenging thing ever.
But no, what's the situation?
OK, so let's say you are selling.
Let's just go with widgets as the classic non -existent thing.
And so I'm a corporation.
I want to buy your widgets wholesale so I could retail them.
OK, so let me just say this.
You are a person, not a corporation.
So what's your role?
Very nice. And that is an expert level question.
So I would be, let's say I'm in procurement.
OK, so for procurement, people are trained to like make salespeople sweat.
But I think that that's an important thing to think about when you're thinking about objections or when you're getting ready for them is that too often we forget that we're talking with a person.
Right. We're not talking with a corporation in that moment.
It's a person that we're speaking with.
That is a brilliant point that that is a quotable that is quotable for sure.
I like that. Yeah, that's really good.
It reminds me of I think I heard it this morning in a book I was reading.
They said sometimes we we are so focused on being a high level professional that we become low level humans.
Oh, yeah. So that that's profound.
Yeah, so the timing is perfect.
I like that. OK, perfect.
So all right. So so and then we have to set the stage a little bit more.
So this is not like a cold call to you, right?
We've already had a discussion.
I've already explained to you maybe what we can do and how we can provide the widgets.
And now you've got your objection.
Yeah. All right. So let me go this way.
OK. So Kwame, you know, as we've discussed, we're going to be able to provide you this full of widgets every month as you need for twelve hundred dollars pallet.
Twelve hundred. Yes, it's twelve hundred dollars.
I sense some hesitation in that.
Tell me more about your thoughts.
Yeah. And, you know, here at Kwame Corp, we value providing our our loyal customers with the highest value products at the lowest price.
And so with twelve hundred, it's just going to be difficult for us to provide that value while still claiming the margin that we we would like to have.
All right. Well, you know, value providing value is such a different connotation in different people.
And so I understand that, you know, providing that value to your members is why you're in business as a wholesaler.
So tell me more about that providing value in the margins that you look for, etc.
So we want to keep between, let's say, I don't know, I don't want to give too much proprietary information in this call.
But let's just say we want to keep between 15 to 30 percent margins on our products.
But the thing is, we want to make sure that we are only going with industry leaders with the products that we provide for our our customers.
OK, so you're looking for the best quality, as you said, the industry leaders and maintaining that 15 to 30 percent profit margin on what you're providing.
Right. OK. And so for what we're providing with these widgets, you know, what have you done with that in the past?
I mean, do you have a similar quality to what we are offering?
You know, what have you found your market is looking for?
We've had some situations in the past with our widgets where we were concerned about the quality.
And ever since that incident, I don't want to name any names or anything like that.
But after that incident, our CEO has been just a stickler on the quality of these widgets.
So I know for me, there's a lot of internal pressure to make sure I'm making the right decision because the CFO is going to get on me if the numbers aren't right, but then the CEO is going to get on me if the quality isn't right.
So really, I guess my job is to keep the CEO happy first.
So quality is the biggest concern.
So we're we're shopping around trying to figure out who is the best in the industry first.
So from what you have been shopping in the quality that you've seen from our widgets, I know you've really dug into all of the specs and such.
How does ours stack up to what else you're looking at?
I know I'm trying to say this without giving away the name of the competitors that I'm that I'm talking to.
But I would say you are number one or number two.
OK, well, that's encouraging.
That's encouraging.
And so, you know, if we are the top quality or even number two in this situation, you know, what value is that?
You know, for your members, how do you place a value on what they're going to be willing to spend?
It's a difficult question for this fictional scenario.
So what I would say is really the let me put it this way.
My customer is the CEO and whoever can prove to me that they have the highest quality and focuses more on the quality.
That's really what would sell me.
OK. All right. And so, you know, you mentioned that the price that was what your first reaction was.
What you're saying really is the $1200 a pallet might be more palatable.
Yeah. If the quality is of the level that your CEO is looking for.
Exactly. You know, if we can prove if there's something that we can prove using objective measures, that the quality is top notch, I think we can make I think we would be able to swing 1200.
But again, it comes down to that question of quality.
OK. Well, Kwame, you know, the goal of us helping you, then, is to get that right product to your CEO.
And so, you know, object, you said you need objective data on this.
What type of data do we need to pull together that's going to help you make your case internally to him?
Well, first of all, I want to see a following because, of course, we have marketing we market our to our customers, but we want to bring in products that already has a following that so we could possibly bring in even new clients.
Or new customers to our store just by carrying you.
So seeing a social media following would be huge.
Seeing growth in your company would be very important as well.
And also seeing great reviews if we can see on various objective websites like, let's say, Amazon, that your your product has a number of sales over four stars.
Think that would be sufficient.
All right. Well, I know I can pull that information together for you because you're not asking just about the product.
It sounds like it's going to be important to show that we, as a company, are on a growth path and have that presence in branding so that it's easier for yourself through and bringing in new customers.
Exactly. Here at Kwame Corp., we don't associate with losers.
So so if you could bring me that information, I think we could have a deal.
All right. So we can end this role play, but from there, of course, we would go on to schedule.
What's our next follow up?
What information exactly?
I would provide you what's the time frame and possible?
I mean, where I would go there is let's get the CEO in on that meeting.
Smart. And and tease that out a little bit more.
Why would you want the CEO on the meeting as well?
Because you let me know he's the real decision maker in this.
Exactly. That's perfect.
Yeah, you did a great job.
And the timing was really great because you weren't rushed.
A lot of times when we're under pressure, we rush and that's where we make mistakes.
And yeah, then the questions were great.
You had me on my. You I'm like, you really came up with some you know, here's the thing about the whole not being rushed.
And that is, as you just said, such an important thing.
People will say, well, gosh, if you follow, you know, acknowledge, ask an answer, you're giving up control.
And I believe that's how we're taking control is by slowing things down.
Because at that point, people do rush and that keeps that adrenaline going.
It starts causing some mistrust.
It's a false sense of rushed.
You know, it's slow things down and take control, again, through your questions, not through what you're telling.
You know, you need the right information to share, but you've got to, I say earn the right to share that information again once you have them engaged back into a conversation, because it felt like a conversation to me after the first question or two versus a negotiation of some sort.
Right. And you know, it's interesting because I was trying to be Tommy Tough guy here.
And so you saw my first response was like, what, five, five words.
Yeah. And I was trying to try to hold back as much information as possible.
But because you asked such a great open ended questions and open ended statements, I guess I should say to and because you paused and gave me time.
Sometimes I was done saying what I wanted to say.
But there was still space that you let me fill with more words.
And it came off first, obviously, as an objection to price.
And I think that's in certain situations, there are some default objections we go to.
And so as an expert in this in this field, you realize that most likely wasn't the only issue.
And so you kept asking questions and found that it was quality.
Yeah. And very different from price, very different than, well, I can cut it to nine hundred fifty dollars a pallet with that work.
Exactly. Yeah. Very nice.
That was fun. Yeah.
That was that was a lot of fun.
I was afraid I was running out of imagination toward the end.
But we got through it.
So before you go, I want you to share or lay down a challenge to our audience.
What is one thing that you think they can do in the next week to be more persuasive?
I think it's take the time to prepare.
Think about the most common objections you hear.
There's typically two or three of them that you hear most often and then prepare to maybe get in front of that before it becomes an objection.
So if you're always hearing an objection about delivery schedule, for example, what's the reality to those objections and how can you position the information around that earlier to eliminate that objection before it comes?
So the practical thing is really about preparation.
Most common objections, you know, when do you hear them?
How might you prevent them before they happen if you hear them?
What are those first couple of questions or open statements that you should be prepared to ask to get them telling you more and prepare those out so that you know what?
In the moment, I've watched this happen.
I've heard this happen on recorded calls.
In the moment, then, when that objection comes up, you can just hear the rep just kind of smile like I got this.
Like, I know exactly what to do right now.
I'm not surprised. I'm not whatever.
And they can just kind of like just settle back again and really take control without it feeling like they're overcoming or handling that person.
Right. This is beautiful.
This is really great.
Congratulations. You've just joined an elite club by listening to a full episode.
You're now officially on the Negotiate Anything team.
So welcome aboard. What most team members do is they subscribe to the podcast because that allows them to automatically get the latest episodes of the show.
The best things in life lie on the other side of difficult conversations.
Keep learning, keep practicing and keep getting better.
Your relationships will improve.
Your career will soar.
And you will have the confidence you need to get the most out of these crucial conversations.
Again, thank you for joining the team.
We're excited to have you and I will see you in the next episode.
I'll catch you later.